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Playing Nurse

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"I bet you wish you converted now, you miserable bastard."

This is really too good. Kakuzu, stuck in bed, all feverish and coughing and sneezing and at Hidan's complete mercy.

"I told you, moron—" Somehow Kakuzu's flat, unimpressed glare manages to retain some of its effect despite his flushed cheeks. "—I did not get ill because 'Jashin did it out of spite'. This is entirely bad luck."

Hidan only laughs harder. "Oh yeah? Then how come I never get sick?"

"Idiots never catch colds, apparently. I suppose stupidity has an advantage." He opens his mouth at Hidan's prompting, allowing a spoonful of hot soup to enter. Several seconds pass before Kakuzu realizes that yes, Hidan is feeding him, and that yes, Kakuzu is allowing it. "What are you doing."

His partner looks entirely too pleased, patting him cheerfully on the cheek. Hidan shoves in another spoonful before he answers. "Taking care of you. Jashin knows your lame ass is too weak to do it."

"Stop it," Kakuzu swats at Hidan's hand with one sluggish thread, his glare increasing tenfold. "Give me the spoon."

"Man, I try and do something nice, and you bitch at me." Despite his tone, Hidan doesn't look entirely put off. "Tch, see if I care."

Kakuzu grabs the spoon and moves the tray of food closer to himself, shooting Hidan a look that would send any other man running, despite his pathetic state.

Hidan, who never ever does anything even vaguely logical or reasonable, just smirks as he watches Kakuzu eat. "I'm gonna go, yeah?" He gets up and Kakuzu is sure that now he'll finally get the peace that he's been craving—but then Hidan opens that goddamn mouth of his. "Want me to tuck you in?"

Hidan laughs hysterically as he runs away, narrowly dodging the bowl that Kakuzu throws at him.