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'...Nothing's As Good!'

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"So dish," said Willow, "who's the new hottie?"

"I met him in the cemetery, got attacked by a mob of vampires. He killed six without raising a sweat. Left me VERY grateful..."

"Some sort of demon?"

"He's more the strong silent type, like Oz," said Buffy, "but you'd be amazed what he can do with his body. He'll be here in a minute, see for yourself."

The bell rang. Willow went to the door and said "Buffy, someone left a tree here!"

"I am Groot..." said the tree.

"It's like Sid the dummy said," said Buffy, "'Once you go wood...'"

End!

Crossover with Guardians of the Galaxy. The quote at the end of this story and in its title comes from the Buffy episode The Puppet Show, which features a possessed ventriloquist's dummy called Sid:

"...How about you and I do a little rehearsing on our own, honey? You know what they say: once you go wood, nothing’s as good!”