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“What ever is the matter, V?”
“Evey! I thought you would be tucked up in front of the telly.”
“I would be, only I needed to make a cup of tea. “
“I’ll see you later then, best get back to your programme.”
“Not so fast, V. I asked you a question. “
“Nothing is wrong, Evey. You just surprised me. Nothing is wrong.”
“Then why are you walking like a crab?”
“Ministry of Funny Walks?”
“You’re stalling, V. It doesn’t look in the least bit funny.”
“I’ve been up on the roof this afternoon.”
“I know V. I was careful not to disturb your… meditation… on what to blow up next… again.”
“I was exercising on the roof, Evey. I just have a little bit of a cramp in my calf muscles, that is all.”
“You were jumping around on the roof? In broad daylight? Naked? That doesn’t seem like the actions of a cunning anarchist.”
“I will admit it was not one of my finest moments, Evey. However, a hot bath and I’ll be right as rain again. If you will excuse me, I—”
“Stop right there. I know I said you were walking like a crab, but I didn’t think I meant it literally. Why are you walking sideways into the hallway? The bathroom is that way.”
“I can see nothing but a full explanation will suffice. As mortifying as it is to admit to it, I fell asleep on the lounger. Face down. I did not intend to and I fear I have a rather bad sunburn on my back as a result.”
“Turn around V.”
“Evey I…”
“Turn around… Bloody hell! I should have said walking like a lobster!”
“Charming, I’m sure! Evey, it is very impolite to laugh at an injured person.”
“I really… am sorry… V… It must… be… very… painful.”
“That apology would be a lot more convincing young lady if you would just stop giggling like an hyena.”
“You look just like a big piece of Rhubarb and Custard.”
“Well I may be hard boiled, but sweet? Really Evey, please stop laughing.”
“Sorry… V… but you’re… not… helping… with lines… like that one.”
“Now that I have amused you, I must attend to my injury.”
“Let me help you, V. I promise I won’t laugh anymore.”
“Thank you, but that is not a very good idea, Evey.”
“Don’t be ridiculous V. You need my help. How are you going to reach your back to apply the ointment without me?”
“Forget the rhubarb and custard sweets, Evey. I’m worried that if you start rubbing ointment into my arse I’ll end up looking like a piece of Brighton rock.”
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