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            Dean was running though thick woods after a vampire. Sunlight was winking through the tops of the trees and all Dean could hear was the sound of branches and leaves crunching under his swift feet. He was leaping over fallen logs like an ungraceful hurdle jumper with asthma. His lungs were burning and his thighs were numb. He needed to stop. But that damn vampire had taken off into the woods and Dean and Sam had split up to search for the son of a bitch. 
            His phone chirped in his pocket and Dean stopped for a brief second to lean against a tree and pull his phone from his pocket. "Got him." Was the text from Sam.
Good. Dean caught his breath and looked around. Wait. He looked in all directions and didn't see any sign of civilization. And by spinning around, he lost track of the way he came. Welp. He was lost.
            Dean screamed "SAM!" and didn't get a response. They were too far away from each other. Birds and wildlife scattered away from him. Squirrels screeched and hurried up trees. Shit.
            There wasn't even a reason to call Sam. It's not like he could give directions "Turn left at the big tree." 
            So, he dialed Cas's number. He and Cas weren't exactly speaking since Dean admitted to wanting to have sex with Cas while he was drunk. Cas had gotten all awkward and left and didn't come back for two weeks now. Dean was mortified. He didn't even know he had wanted to sleep with Cas until the words had come out of his mouth in his drunken haze. 
            "Yes, Dean?" Cas's voice said over the phone.The reception was staticy and seemed as though it was going to drop out at any second. 
            "I'm lost," Dean said with what was so not a pout.
            "What are you near?" Cas asked, sounding bored and preoccupied. "What is to your left?"
            "And your right?" Cas continued.
            "More trees."
            "Dean," Cas sounded impatient.
            "I'm lost in a forest, okay?" Dean snapped.
            Cas appeared in front of Dean and flipped his phone shut. He looked the same as ever but this time he wouldn't make eye contact with Dean. Dean felt guilty. He needed to fix this.
            "Hey, before you get me out of here, I just want to apologize for what I said that one night. I was drunk and out of line," Dean said and shuffled his feet.
            "Did you mean what you said while inebriated?" Cas asked, looking at Dean's chest rather than his face.
            Dean swallowed. If he lied, Cas would know. Cas always knew. So why was he even asking? "Yeah," came out as a croak so he cleared his throat and tried again. "Yeah, I meant it. I still mean it."
            Cas looked at Dean's eyes now, and approached him. Dean wasn't sure if Cas was getting close because it's just how Cas worked, or because he was about to kiss him.
            Cas's lips pressing against Dean's was his answer. A hunger grew in Dean's stomach that had nothing to do with the fact that it was three and he hadn't eaten since ten. Dean opened his lips and ran his tongue over Cas's mouth. Cas opened his lips, allowing Dean to sweep his tongue into the angel's mouth. Cas gave a little moan at the new sensation of kissing. Dean took this as a good sign so he grabbed Cas's shoulders and turned and pressed him against the tree Dean had been leaning against minutes before. Their teeth clashed together for a second but neither slowed down.
            Dean pushed Cas's trench coat off of his shoulders and Cas shrugged it off the rest of the way. It was discarded amongst the leaves at their feet and Cas's white shirt was ripped off at the buttons not long after. Article of clothing after another was torn off and thrown to the ground at their feet until they were both naked in the forest. They were practically devouring each other's mouths. Dean had bit at Cas's bottom lip and he must have liked it because he repeated it on Dean. Then Dean kissed and sucked at Cas's collar bone, making a red mark rise. Cas's moan was a rumble in his chest that vibrated against Dean's. 
            Dean kissed his way down Cas's chest and stomach and bit lightly at his jutting hip bones. Cas must have known what was about to happen because he was hard. 
            Dean had never given another guy head before, but there was a first time for everything. So he licked with the tip of his tongue from the base of Cas's cock to the head where he wrapped his lips around the tip and sucked. Cas was new to this and he was literally shaking and leaning his whole weight against the tree at his back. Probably leaving indentations of bark on his skin. Cas gripped at Dean's hair and Dean gave an even harder suck. 
            Cas's knees buckled, sending him to the ground, his chest bumping into Dean's face and sending them sprawling on the leave and twig strewn ground. It was kind of painful, Dean had to admit, the twigs poking at his bare skin. But it was hot and he liked it. Cas was heavy against Dean's chest so he gave a shove and sent Cas on his back. Dean hovered over Cas and moved down to continue sucking Cas off.
            It really didn't take much. Dean hadn't expected Cas to last long his first time. So when Cas was scratching at the ground, turning up leaves and rocks, and getting dirt smashed under his finger nails, Dean was okay with it. He wasn't disappointed. There would be other times like this.
            Cas was moaning louder than Dean had ever heard during sex out of cheesy pornos and Dean wondered if he was just that good at giving head or Cas had done some research. Cas came hard, his hips bucking up towards Dean, but Dean held him down. 
            When Cas came down, his muscles were still twitching lightly. Dean had crawled up to lay next to him. Cas turned his head and smiled at Dean. A slow, lazy smile. Dean kissed it. 
Cas ended their kiss to move his own way down Dean's body to show Dean what he had learned today. Somewhere in the distance, Sam was frantically calling Dean's cell phone.

Chapter Text

              He woke up sweating and hard. He glanced down at the bulge under the motel sheets and rolled his eyes. Dean looked over to see Sam still asleep in the other bed. He wasn’t ashamed by his morning erection; he and Sam were both men and these things happened. If they were going to get embarrassed every time their bodies reminded them that they were human, they would be living in constant mortification. Dean reached down under the sheet to ease the almost throbbing need for pleasure and curiously thought back to his rapidly fading dream.

                A flash of a trench coat being thrown across the room. A tie not tied around a neck but rather around wrists. Blue eyes dilated so wide they’re almost all black as they flutter closed in pleasure.

                Hold the phones. What? He was having a wet dream about Cas? Again? This was becoming an issue. It was practically every other night now that he dreamed about Castiel in sexual situations with him. Dean figured it was probably because of how much time he spent with the angel and his brain simply chose someone close to him to have dream sex with. Right? Right.

                Right. Well, he was still hard and he had to do something about it. Glancing over at Sam again to see if he was still asleep (he was), Dean climbed out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. Leaning against the counter, his ass against the sink and his back to the mirror, he shoved his black boxer briefs down to his thighs. He spit into his hand and then sighed in relief as he wrapped his hand around his cock. He closed his eyes after checking to see that the door was for sure locked. He didn’t need Sammy barging in while he was jerking off. Again.

                Once his eyes were closed he saw flashes of his dream on the backs of his eyelids.

                A deep, desperate moan coming from an open, angelic mouth. His own hands ripping open Cas’s white button down shirt, exposing his smooth skin. He kissed at the newly discovered flesh just above Cas’s trousers. He ran his tongue over Cas’s hip bones, sending shivers through the angel.

                Dean shook his head and tried to change his fantasy to involve the hot chick down the hall that he saw the day before, but it didn’t last more than a second. He squinted his eyes closed and took his hand from his cock. This wasn’t working. It was one thing to dream about having sex with Cas because he couldn’t help what he dreamed. But to have a waking fantasy about it was another thing entirely. He gripped the counter behind him and tried to make the aching need subside. That wasn’t working either. He resigned after a few minutes and gave into his fantasy about Cas and began stroking his dick again. Each time he closed his eyes to resume his fantasy it was different, like he had dreamed about sex with Cas multiple different times. Luckily, nobody could read his mind. He was safe.

                Now Cas was kneeling between Dean’s open legs on the hotel bed. His hand was wrapped around Dean’s cock and he was stroking him tentatively but strongly. Dean was gazing up at his angel with blown eyes, tousled hair, and wet lips. He was so completely wrecked that Dean couldn’t help the new wave of pleasure that rocked through him. He was moaning and writhing beneath Cas’s hands. “Faster,” he croaked out to Cas who definitely obliged.

                Seconds later Dean was breathing in hard and sharp bursts, every exhale was a burst of guttural sound and air as he came. Cas continued to stroke him through his orgasm and Dean grabbed at the sheets beneath him in an attempt to keep grip on his existence as it shattered all around him.

                He was shaking and sweating and his hands were covered in come. His head was thrown back and eyes still closed. Dean turned his head towards the ground and opened his eyes to see how much he had to clean up. He was surprised at the amount of come that covered his hands and landed on his boxer briefs and legs. He raised his eyebrows, a little bit impressed with himself, if he might say so. Then he noticed the shoes.

                Those shoes were attached to black trouser clad legs. He looked up quickly to see Cas standing there. Dean had his dick in come covered hands and his boxer briefs hallway down his legs. There was no chance of an “I was just about to hop in the shower” excuse here at all. He gaped at the angel in horrified silence.

                “What are you doing?” Cas asked, looking Dean up and down. His expression was a mixture of curiosity and an amused knowing.

                “Playing golf,” Dean said hoarsely. He turned to the sink to wash off his hands. He glanced into the mirror to see his reflection. His face was damp and splotchy with deep red.

                “I know what golf is. This is not golf,” Cas said. And Dean looked to see Cas clearly staring at Dean’s ass. Dean realized that his boxer briefs were still by his knees.  He quickly pulled them up before drying his hands on the hotel towel.

                “Damn, you must think humans are so boring. You know what golf is but you don’t know about jerking off,” Dean scoffed and turned back to Cas.

                “You were masturbating?” Cas asked. His voice was calm and collected. He sounded almost clinical about it.

                “Yup,” Dean said. There was seriously no way to hide it without causing a lot of embarrassment and confusion later.

                “W-what?!” Dean sputtered and grabbed a washcloth to clean up his legs.

                “You were dreaming about me in a sexual manner. I was wondering if these two events were correlated,” Cas said with the tiniest of shrugs.

                “How did you know about my dream?” Dean asked. He was mortified that Cas knew. But of course Cas knew. Cas knew every detail about Dean. He should have thought about that.

                “Whenever any human dreams of me, I know of it,” Cas said.

                “So you were watching my dreams?” Dean asked in a terrified whisper.

                “Yes,” Castiel replied. “Actually, I was in your dream.”

                “That… was… you? Really you?!” Dean felt weak. This wasn’t happening. This had to be a dream. Had to be.

                “Part of me, yes,” Cas said. “I can’t be completely in your dream every time you or Sam or anyone else dreams of me. But it is a part of my Grace.”

                Dean couldn’t breathe. “So you’re saying that I had real sex with you… IN MY MIND?!”

                “Yes. We’ve had intercourse in your mind many times, Dean,” Cas said like it was nothing.

                “You said Sam dreams about you, too?” Dean can’t help but question and feel jealous.

                “Correct,” Cas said.

                “Have you and him…” Dean can’t even finish his sentence.

                “Yes,” Cas replied, looking annoyed at Dean’s reactions.

                Dean is opening and closing his mouth like a fish. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t know what to feel.

                “When he was soulless he often fantasized about the three of us,” Cas said casually.

                And thus was the end of Dean’s working brain. 

Chapter Text

Dean shut the stall door behind him and slid the shiny metal lock into place. He turned and looked at the toilet to gage its cleanliness. Not bad, but he didn’t even have to go. He heaved a sigh. That felt good. He heaved another. And another. And another. He was breathing like he was in labor or something. He tugged down at the hem of his shirts.

While he was in the bathroom, Sam was probably out there doodling his and Cas’ name inside of a heart on a napkin. They were probably drinking a milkshake from two straws, their faces close and intimate. They probably hadn’t even noticed that he’d shot up from his seat and ran to the men’s room.

The mental images of Sam and Cas being best fucking friends who were clearly in love with each other but just waiting for the other to lean the first ninety percent of the way into a kiss made Dean inexplicably angry. A deep burning was consuming him, turning his vision funny colors. He continued his strange breathing and leaned back against the locked stall door. He pictured Sam and Cas kissing in his mind’s eye and his arms did strange, angry flailing movements of their own accord. Now he was breathing heavily through his teeth, flailing his arms. He probably had crazy eyes, too.

Dean pictured his future of having to knock before entering every room where Sam and Cas were so he didn’t catch them fucking. On Dean’s bed. In the Impala. What if he did catch them? What would he do?

Probably murder them and burn their corpses.

Maybe scream like a girl.

Dean’s mind eye was seared with the image of his little brother in bed with his angel. Wait. What?

Now he was stomping his feet, flailing his arms, smacking his elbows into the stall walls, and breathing like a bull being castrated. He was being Cas castrated.

That didn’t even make sense. Because Cas wasn’t his. He had no claim over the angel. Just because he taught Cas how to shower that one time when he Fell, doesn’t mean he has ownership.

He was throwing a temper tantrum.

A full on temper fucking tantrum in the men’s room at a fucking IHOP in fucking Kentucky.

The toilet paper roll was partially unraveled and it was just swaying from the commotion of Dean’s flailing. He saw it. Grabbed it. Threw it over his shoulder. The roll spun as the toilet paper twirled to the ground on the other side of the stall door. When it stopped, Dean grabbed the part that was resting on his shoulder and tugged again. He was making a mess and somehow this made it a little bit better. He threw toilet paper all over that fucking stall. Ripped wax paper toilet seat cover after toilet seat cover out of the container and threw each one up in the air. The paper crinkling as it spun all around him like fucked up confetti.

Okay. He knew he was being ridiculous and disrespectful. The people who worked at this IHOP had done nothing to deserve him trashing their men’s room. But he figured they’d rather this than Dean murdering his brother and an Angel Of The Lord in their vinyl booth.

The door creaked open and Dean stopped like a deer in the headlights, the last few toilet seat covers falling to the linoleum. He was safely hidden in his stall still so he didn’t move.

“Dean?” came Cas’ voice.

He didn’t answer. He held his breath.

“Dean are you alright?” Cas asked, standing outside Dean’s stall now.

Dean didn’t know what to do. He had no reason to be in there besides throwing a temper tantrum like a child. He thought about faking intestinal distress to get Cas to leave him. But he was not Sam and had never been able to fart on command. So he settled on fake vomiting.

“HURRLRLELELELRLRELREL!!” he made a retching sound, still standing near the door. Good thinking, Losechester.

“Dean. Dean, are you ill?” Cas asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

“Musta been the pancakes!” Dean cried woefully and moved as quietly as he could through the toilet paper streamers and crinkly toilet seat covers. He kneeled in front of the toilet.

“You consumed two bites,” Cas said disbelievingly. “Sam is not ill from the pancakes.”

“Well, go back out to him and leave me here to be sick, Cas,” Dean said in his best sickly voice.

“Do you wish for me to stroke you?” Cas asked.

Dean’s knees slipped on the paper covered linoleum. “Pardon?!”

“Do you wish for me to stroke your back?” Cas asked. When Dean still couldn’t formulate proper words, Cas continued. “When Sam was sick and being violently ill, you stayed with him in the bathroom and stroked his back as he vomited.”


“No, but thanks for the thought, Cas,” Dean said.

“Do you wish for me to get Sam to stroke you?” Cas asked. Fucking angel.

“How about you quit saying that?” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Dean, I don’t believe that you are ill,” Cas said.

“You’ve made this rest room untidy. Why?” Cas asked.

“I felt like it, okay?” Dean snapped defensively.

“Why did you feel the need to do this? Is it something I said or did?” Cas asked hesitantly.

Dean hung his head. “No, Cas.” But even he could hear the lie in his voice. He was supposed to be the best liar ever, but here he was with his high pitched voice and harsh syllables.

“May I come in?” Cas asked. And before Dean could even open his mouth to reply, Cas had zapped himself into the locked stall. He stood behind where Dean was kneeling in front of the toilet. “What did I do, Dean?”

Dean turned around to face Cas but remained on the floor. He didn’t look up. He swallowed hard and fidgeted with his hands. “I think, um, I think I’m j… je- jealous of Sam,” he mumbled.

“Jealous of Sam? What for?” Cas asked.

“You two love each other,” Dean muttered.

“I do love Samuel Winchester,” Cas said casually.

Dean’s heart and stomach shriveled up and died.

“I love all of my Father’s creations,” Cas added.

“I meant love love,” Dean said with a shake of his head. “You two are always talking about philosophers, ancient texts, and old translations of things that I don’t have the first clue about. And the way you’re always showing each other new things and finishing each other’s sentences.”

“Dean,” Cas said with a low, short chuckle.

Dean looked up at Cas now.

“Mostly, we talk about you,” Cas said and kneeled down in front of Dean.

“Huh?” Dean questioned with what was probably a really dumb face.

“Sam and I often discuss you, Dean. When you are not around,” Castiel clarified.

“Why?” Dean asked.

“He is helping me understand how I feel about you. It is quite confusing,” Cas said with a little exasperated sigh.

“And, uh, how do you feel about me?” Dean asked, looking anywhere but Cas’ face.

“Sam says that I am in love with you. He says my love for you is different than the love I feel for the rest of my Father’s creations,” Cas explained.

“You’ve been getting love advice about me from my brother?” Dean gaped.

“Who else would I go to?” Cas shrugged. “Sam had said it was a good idea I didn’t go directly to you. He was convinced that you would never speak to me again.”

“Well, he was wrong,” Dean scoffed.

He didn’t realize that this was the moment he had been waiting for until it was finally happening. He didn’t realize he was actually in love with Castiel until he thought he was out of reach. Yup. Dean Winchester was in love with Castiel. Just perfect. But it kind of actually was. There was no hiding the truth of who he really was and what he’d done and what he is doing and will do from Cas. Cas knew everything and still stayed. He had fallen for Dean; rebelled, gave up everything. Cas had died for Dean. And then came back for him, too.

Dean looked at Cas now. Cas had been looking at him the whole time, so now they made eye contact. Cas’ expression was warmer than usual, and a little bit confused. Dean leaned in ninety percent and closed his eyes. He was about to kiss Castiel. Holy fuck.

But Cas didn’t move. He only continued to stare.

Six seconds passed before Dean cracked open an eye. Cas was still looking at him. “Dude, you’re supposed to lean the rest of the way and kiss me.”

“Oh, sorry,” Cas said with a look of shock. Then his face became stone serious. Like he was trapping a demon. He leaned the rest of the way until their lips touched.

Dean moved his lips against Cas’ mouth. Cas didn’t kiss back at first until he learned from Dean’s example. They were kissing chastely on the floor of an IHOP. And Dean didn’t hate it.

It was sure an adventure getting Cas to use tongue. One that would probably make him cry tears of laughter later. It was like making out with a twelve year old with a background in martial arts. Dean would probably walk away with a few bruises from Castiel’s flustered, confused grabby hands.

Sam couldn’t have taught the poor bastard how to make out? Damn.

The bathroom door swung open and Dean and Cas’ lips broke apart, their hands still on each other’s shoulders and chest.

“Dean? Cas? Is everything oh-…kay. Never mind,” Sam said awkwardly before leaving quickly. He must have seen Dean and Cas sitting close together from under the stall walls.

“He saw us,” Cas said.

“No shit,” Dean replied.

“Should we be ashamed?” Cas asked confusedly.

“Nah. He knows how you feel about me so he must have expected it, right?” Dean said with a shrug.

“He said it would never happen,” Cas said. A glint of triumph in his eyes.

“Never say never, Cas,” Dean chuckled before kissing him again. 

Chapter Text

               “Come on, dude. One bite,” Dean said to Cas.

                Cas’ nose was wrinkled in disgust as he leaned away from the forkful of pancake Dean was shoving at his face from across the table. “No,” he said through the tiniest gap between his lips before he clamped them together again.

                “Don’t be a baby, just try it. You’ll like it, I promise,” Dean insisted, still holding out the generous bite of perfect pancakes with real maple syrup and thick butter.

                “Mm-mm,” Cas said with a short shake of his head.

                “Just eeeeaaaat iiiiiiiiit,” Dean said and jabbed Cas on the mouth with the fork.

                Syrup coated his tightly closed lips now and Dean wanted to lick it off. But they were in public and Cas didn’t like PDA. He would blush and get all bashful. It was sort of embarrassing.

                The jab must have pissed him off because he reached a quick hand over the table, two fingers out stretched towards Dean’s forehead.

                “Oh, no you don’t,” Dean chuckled, dodging Cas’ hand.

                Cas took his hand back and leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed.

                “Just one bite. For me?” Dean asked, blinking innocently at Cas.

                Cas side-eyed him before rolling his eyes and opening his mouth.

                Dean grinned as he fed Cas the bite of pancake. Cas had been ready for something disgusting, Dean could tell by the look of pleasant shock on his face. Cas chewed slowly and many times like he had read the Miss Manners book that stated one must chew thirty two times or some crazy shit.

                Dean watched and waited with a look of eager happiness.

                Cas swallowed finally and licked the sticky syrup from his lips. He gave Dean a slight smile with the upturning of the corners of his lips.

                “Want another bite?” Dean asked happily.

                Cas smirked now and took Dean’s fork out of his hand and slid the plate across the table towards himself.

                “Hey, I said one more bite!” Dean protested.

                “I enjoy pancakes,” Cas said by way of explanation.

                And just the way Cas said ‘pancakes’ was enough for Dean. He didn’t even know what it was. Maybe Cas’ low voice and the formation of the syllables? Whatever it was, it was… cute. Dean smiled now and shook his head. When the waitress came back he would order more.

                Cas ate happily, savoring each bite like each one was different than the last. Dean watched as Cas made his way through the entire stack of pancakes without stopping. He was impressed. When Cas finished his breakfast and put his fork down, he smiled up at Dean brightly.

                “You should have listened to me in the first place,” Dean said with a huge grin. His eyes were focused on a drop of syrup on Cas’ chin.

                “I should have, yes. The next time you promise that I will love something, I will oblige,” Cas said.

                A thousand abuses of this new privilege lined up in Dean’s mind. He leaned across the table and the empty plate; he licked the syrup off of Cas’ chin and then kissed him on the lips. He tasted like sugar.

                “Ugh, guys,” Sam groaned from the chair next to Cas. “You do remember you’re in public and I’m sitting right here?”


Chapter Text

Dean turned off the news. He’d had enough of everything. The room was silent and dark now and the after images of the tv still stuck to his eyes. Sam was reading a book with a tiny book lamp that clipped to the cover. Cas was silently leaning against the headboard of Dean’s bed. 

They had had a tough hunt earlier that night. While the three of them walked away unharmed, a family died. A mom, a dad, and two young children. The three of them had saved an entire town at the cost of four lives. They knew they had won this in the long run, but right now they felt like shit. 

Dean especially, since he had been the one to discover the bodies of the children. He was torn up about it but he hadn’t said a word.

There was something about the dark of the room and the silence that comforted him tonight. It softened his anger. Now he was terribly sad. All he wanted to do was hold Sammy and Cas and know that they were alright. He hadn’t lost them yet. 

So Dean stood up from the edge of his bed and grabbed Cas’s wrist. Cas looked at him questioningly as Dean tugged him until he was standing. Nobody spoke as Dean pulled Cas with him to Sam’s bed. Sam looked up from his book and saw Dean and Cas standing before his bed. He knew. 

When Sam and Dean were little they used to share a motel bed when John was around. And even as they got older, up until Sam went to Stanford, they shared a bed. It was an old habit that was hard to kick. After Sam left Stanford to find John with Dean, after a tough hunt or a bad day, one brother would end up crawling into bed with the other. It wasn’t an every night kind of thing, but it was still a practice they kept. 

Sam slid over in his bed and set his book down on the night stand, turning off his book light. Dean climbed in and pulled Cas with him. Sam’s arms were already open when Dean slipped under the blankets and over to him. Cas must have read their minds to know what was going on because he toed off his shoes and shrugged off his coat before joining the pajama clad brothers under the blankets. 

It used to be Dean holding Sam while Sam cried about missing Dad or bullies at school. Now it was whoever needed it most. Tonight Dean needed it most. Sam tucked Dean under his chin and wrapped his arms around his big brother. Already Dean was shaking with suppressed sobs, causing tears to prick at Sam’s eyes.

Cas turned on his side, his chest pressed against Dean’s back, his arms wrapped around Dean and Sam, and his head resting on top of Dean’s. Sam moved an arm to also hold Cas. 

Tears and choppy sobs came from Dean. His sobs jerked his whole body as he gripped the arms of both Sam and Cas. Sam’s eyes streamed. He, too, was affected by the hunt. Sam kissed the top of Dean’s head a few times to show Dean that Sam was there and he wasn’t going anywhere. They were alive and unscathed. There was no reason to feel guilty over it. They had to be grateful and happy and do whatever they could to help when possible.

Sam looked down to see Cas taking Sam’s lead and kissing the side of Dean’s face gently. He was not crying but he may as well have been for the sadness in his eyes. Sam wasn’t sure if angels could cry.

Dean’s grip on Cas and Sam was tight. Impossibly tight. They didn’t mind though. Dean needed physical proof that they were still here. So they held back.

Tomorrow they would put the night from their minds and pretend as though it never happened. They would pretend that they had not held each other so tightly until they fell asleep. They would pretend that they had never been weak. They would pretend so that they would survive. 


Chapter Text

                “Well, get on your knees and pray, Cas,” Dean snarked as he put the last of his and Sam’s laundry in the dryer.

                “You’re the one who wants it. Why don’t you pray for it?” Cas asked. His tone said that he was clearly annoyed at Dean.

                “You’re the angel, not me,” Dean said with a shrug.  He started to separate and fold the laundry. Sam’s pile and his pile and a jumble of socks in the middle. They stopped keeping track of socks a long time ago.

                “I can’t pray for something you want,” Cas said like it was obvious.

                “That sounds like a load of bull,” Dean said. Then he sighed and gave in. “Dear, God,” he said lightheartedly. “Please let-”

                “Stop,” Castiel said and stepped closer to Dean.

                “What? I was praying! Are you even allowed to interrupt my prayer?” Dean asked.

                “Close your eyes,” Castiel demanded.

                Dean obliged without hesitation.

                “Now speak from your soul, not just your mouth,” Cas instructed.

                “Dear, God who art in Heaven,” Dean began again. His voice was serious and he had never tried to speak from his soul before but it kind of felt like his stomach.

                “He already knows you’re talking to him,” Cas said quietly.

                “Please let-”

                “Wrong,” Cas said.

                “Please allow-”

                “Dean,” Cas scolded lightly.

                “The snow and ice are a great show, God. It’s all beautiful, really. You’ve outdone yourself. Standing ovation. But, we’re trapped in this hotel because of the weather. The Impala is frozen over completely and we can’t finish the job we’re working on. Lives are at stake and we can’t even reach them to save them. Letting up on the dust would be the closest thing to a miracle this week. Please and thank you,” Dean said. He cracked an eye at Cas.

                Cas was smiling. Well, his eyes were warm and his lips were lifted at the corners.

                “Was that good?” Dean asked.

                Cas gave a small shrug. “It wasn’t bad.”

                “Did I do it right?” Dean asked, feeling like he’d accomplished something.

                “Yes. You stated what you were praying for, gave a reason, and you were not selfish,” Cas said.

                “Hm,” Dean said. He was intrigued. God listened as long as you gave him a damn good reason. “So, will it stop snowing and warm up a few degrees?”

                “You’ll have to see for yourself,” Castiel said and gestured to the door.

                The hotel guest laundry room was in the middle of the building so Dean left his and Sam’s clothes in there as he walked down the hallway to the nearest exit. He peered out the window as Cas stood behind him. It was no longer a blizzard and there was just the faintest hint of sunlight peeking through the heavy grey clouds.

                Dean grinned. “Cas, I stopped the snowpocalypse!”

                “With prayer,” Cas added with a nod.


Chapter Text

Dean didn’t know what set him off. Maybe it was the new suit. The novelty of seeing Cas in something other than his trench coat and blue tie hadn’t faded out. Every time Dean caught a glimpse of the tailored black suit he did a double take. Maybe it was the fact that Cas was sticking with him on this low grade hunt rather than skipping ahead to the good parts. Maybe it was the way Cas kept pulling at the black satin tie like it was choking him and he wanted nothing more than to just take it off. It made him look human. It gave Dean and Cas some common ground.

They both hated suits.

And they both looked fucking fantastic in suits.

Heads were turning as Dean and Cas walked side by side with matched purposeful strides. They were after an artifact Bobby needed for a spell. And some rich asshole who liked caviar and champagne parties happened to have it in a glass case. The man was quite old and was even holding a monocle. Dean kind of liked him because of the monocle.

There were shocked murmurs as Dean and Cas parted the Red Sea that was a Gossip Girl socialite’s wet dream. They held their heads high and their jaws tight. Dean gave a slight, disinterested Blue Steel to a group of women standing to the left of him. They tittered amongst themselves and Dean’s ego grew three times its size that day.

The man raised an eyebrow and put his monocle in place as Dean and Cas stopped in front of him. He greeted Dean and Cas with kindness and asked who their dates were since he didn’t know these two dapper young fellows.

Cas wasted no time by immediately requesting the artifact. Dean hated asking but the damn thing was in a glass case in the freaking entrance hall. There was no way he could break the glass and steal it without being noticed. Cas had said that his angel mojo would not work on the artifact since it was meant to be used in banishing magic. So they had to do it the old fashioned way.

The man was hesitant to give it up, he rather liked the look of it and it was a great conversation piece. Cas stepped forward, towards the man, and touched his hand. Suddenly, he was more than happy to give his new friends that “silly old trinket.”

Dean and Cas were out of there in fifteen minutes. Their exit broke a lot of hearts that night and they wore it like cologne.

In the Impala was where it really hit Dean. He and Cas were a team- and a damned good one at that. Eyes were on them as they walked across that hall. It was like a high Dean figured the prom king got when dancing with the prom queen. Except they were hot and dangerous and that made everything so much sexier. Dean didn’t try to understand it. He glanced over at the relaxed Castiel in the passenger’s seat. His seatbelt bunched his black suit jacket up and the light from passing streetlights reflected in his eyes.

Eyes were on them tonight, but Dean wasn’t interested in them. He was with Cas. And, well, Dean was kind of interested in Cas. He didn’t begin to understand that either. But all he knew was that while eyes were on them tonight, they went home together. He didn’t want it any other way.

Cas pulled at his tie again, loosening it now that they were done for the night. A fire began in Dean’s belly. It was just a flame or two; tickling away at his consciousness. Enough that he had to shift in his seat and tug at the crotch of his pants. He parked in front of their first floor motel room.

The room was just as messy as they’d left it earlier that evening. Clothes were everywhere from last second mind changing and maps were spread out on Cas’ unused bed. Dean opened the door and tossed his keys down on the desk with a clank and a slide as they slid almost to the edge. Cas shut the door behind him and Dean shrugged off his suit jacket. He hung it on a chair, careful not to wrinkle it because he was not washing it after wearing it only an hour.  They both kicked off their uncomfortable dress shoes near the door in a pile.

Cas was at the mini fridge. He rooted around for a few minutes before coming up with his left over pineapple smoothie. Sam had let Cas try some of his smoothie a few days ago and Cas had been hooked ever since. The dude freaking loved pineapple. Dean liked pineapple, if he had to choose a fruit. But Cas couldn’t get enough of it. Dean watched as Cas took a long swig of it and left some on his top lip.

Cas turned to Dean as he licked it off. “Will we return to Bobby’s tomorrow?” he asked.

Dean replayed Cas’ question over in his head three times before he registered what those sounds mean. He cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. He, uh, needs this thing for the spell,” Dean said, his eyes still on Cas’ mouth.

Cas nodded and took another sip of his smoothie. Dean watched his throat swallow. Cas set his smoothie down and then shrugged out of his suit jacket, as well. Then he looked at Dean like he was expecting Dean to say something. Dean hadn’t made a sound but he realized that he’d been standing there staring for awhile.

“Are you alright, Dean?” Cas asked, stepping closer.

Dean had to look away because really he was so not okay right now. He really wanted to rip off Cas’ clothes and throw him on the bed. So, yeah, he was not okay. The room was really hot. Or maybe it was just him, he didn’t know. He loosened his tie.

“Are you ill?” Cas asked.

“Why?” Dean wondered where Cas would even get that assumption.

“You’re turning red and sweating. Are you feverish?” Cas asked, reaching out to Dean’s face.

Dean tried to dodge his hand, but failed. Cas’ hand touched Dean’s temple. At first he looked concerned, then confused, then intrigued. Dean knew that Cas had read that Dean was just horny and turned on by Cas. Embarrassment knotted his stomach and he stepped back, intending to go into the bathroom to hide for a little while.

“Dean,” Cas said. It was an urgent sound- his name. He had to look up.

That terrified look from the “den of iniquity” was back. Cas’ eyes were wide and fearful but now also earnest and determined. Cas’ hands were both outstretched towards Dean awkwardly. Dean stepped into them, his own hands going to Cas’ shoulders. Somehow it all made sense.

Their lips crashed together, their teeth knocking. Dean hadn’t realized just how much he wanted this until now. The fire of want ripped through his veins. Now he was feverish.

                Cas’ lips were unskilled under his own, but he was a fast learner. Cas grabbed Dean’s biceps and pushed. Dean stumbled back in surprise and his back smacked into the motel room wall. His head snapped against the wall and probably left a little dent. But before Dean could figure that Cas didn’t want to be kissing him, Cas was back. Cas pressed Dean against the wall and kissed him hard on the lips.

                Dean had never been the one pinned to the wall before. He appreciated Cas’ affection but he was so not the one to be pinned to the wall. Dean grabbed Cas’ ribcage and spun them around so that now it was Cas’ head and back that slammed into the wall. Cas grunted at the impact, but Dean licked at his mouth anyways. Cas opened his lips for Dean and their tongues met. He tasted like pineapple. Cas was unsure of what to do, so Dean massaged Cas’ tongue with his own until Cas began his own exploration of Dean’s mouth. Cas swiped his tongue over the roof of Dean’s mouth, which was extremely ticklish for Dean. Dean pulled back from the kiss and looked at Cas. His lips were swollen and wet and his eyes were blown.

                Dean ripped Cas’ shirt open, sending buttons in all directions. He vaguely heard them clatter to the ground over the sound of his and Cas’ breathing. Cas reached for Dean’s shirt, and it was ripped from him as well. Their shirts pooled on the ground at their feet. Their ties still bushed against their chests.

                “What do you want, Cas?” Dean asked. He had to be sure Cas wanted this; wanted him before Dean got himself too worked up.

                Confusion passed over Cas’ face. “I believe you know more about this than I do, Dean.”

                “You want sex?” Dean asked, his voice low with want.

                Cas nodded and looked down bashfully. There was no reason for Cas to be shy. Dean reached an arm up and grabbed a fistful of hair on the back of Cas’ head. He gave a swift tug so that Cas’ face was tilted up towards his. He hissed slightly in pain, but his eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. Dean kissed Cas again. It was wet and a bit sloppy, but Dean couldn’t get enough of Cas.

                Dean rested his hands on Cas’ hips and kissed down his neck, nipped at his collar bone, whirled his tongue around a nipple, kissed down to Cas’ navel, swiped his tongue into Cas’ belly button, and then kissed where his pants started. Cas was breathing heavily and bumps rose on his flesh as he gave a shiver. Dean unbuckled Cas’ belt and tugged it from the loops on Cas’ pants. The tug pulled Cas’ hips forward, away from the wall and towards Dean. Cas’ hipbones jutted. Dean leaned forward and mouthed at Cas’ erection through his pants. Cas gasped and snapped his hips backwards, towards the wall. Dean chuckled low in this throat.

                Dean had never done this before either. But he’d had it done to him, so he sort of knew what he was doing. It was strange, kneeling in front of Cas, because he was a man. But, Dean remembered, not really because Cas was an angel. Cas wasn’t even human. He was just borrowing the skin of a human. Dean didn’t love the meat suit; he loved the angel crammed inside.

There was no turning back when Dean unzipped and unbuttoned Cas’ pants. He looked up at Cas’ face as he slid the pants to the floor. Cas locked eyes with him as he stepped out of his pants. Cas’ eyes were dilated , his hair messy, is lips wet and red, and his chest heaving. Dean had never seen anything quite so sexy. There was something about making someone so holy and righteous hard and sweaty that turned Dean on. So what if that meant he was a bad person. He’d already been to Hell.

Dean slid his fingers under the waistband of Cas’ white boxer briefs and lightly bit at Cas’ hipbone as he slid the thin fabric down. Cas stepped out of his boxer briefs as he gasped at Dean’s teeth against his hip bone. Dean kissed closer and closer to Cas’ erection as he wrapped a hand around him. Cas let out a strangled moan as he watched Dean. Dean lightly ran his fingertips up and down Cas’ penis and spit into his right hand. Cas’ arms were braced against the wall and he was grasping at the cold surface. Dean wrapped his right hand around Cas’ penis and began stroking up and down. Cas gave a startled and blissful moan. When he felt comfortable, Dean dipped his head down to lick lightly at the head of Cas’ dick. He tasted the precome there and didn’t completely hate it like he thought. He sucked at the head of Cas’ penis and stroked up and down with his hand until Cas was gripping Dean’s hair and mumbling incoherently. Dean continued stroking but watched Cas come undone.

Cas had never come before. So Dean watched the desperation, fear, pleasure, and excitement catapult the angel into ecstasy. Cas wasn’t quiet. Dean liked it. Cas shouted out words in Enochian and just before he came, his breaths came out in loud “huh”s involuntarily. His eyes rolled back, his head tilted up, his mouth hung open, all breathing and shouting stopped, his body shook, his knees wobbled, his hips bucked, and his hands grasped at Dean. Cas’ come had landed on Dean’s bare chest and Dean looked down at it. He left it there for Cas to see when Cas returned to Earth. After the first wave of orgasm, Cas took a deep breath and looked down at Dean like Dean had just done something so magical Cas had never seen it before. But a second wave hit Cas since Dean was still stroking slowly and Cas’ legs buckled. He slid against the wall until he was sitting in front of where Dean was kneeling. Dean laughed and kissed Cas’ forehead, eyelids, anywhere on his face, before his lips. Cas was still shaking when he kissed back.

“That was huge,” Dean was still chuckling fondly.

“It gave me more pleasure than flying,” Cas said, awestruck. He was still breathing heavily. His eyes sparkled with joy.

“Damn, I hope so. And I hope every time you come you come that hard,” Dean said.

Cas looked at Dean’s chest now, seeing his come in three dripping stripes down his chest. Cas blushed. “I’m sorry, I’ll-”

Dean grabbed one of their shirts and used it to mop up his chest. “Don’t worry about it, Cas. I could have moved.”

“Can I do that for you?” Cas asked, looking down at the tented crotch of Dean’s pants.

“You sure as fuck can,” Dean said.

“On the bed,” Cas said. It wasn’t a question.

Dean hopped up from the floor and ran the two steps to the bed and jumped. He bounced on his back and watched as Cas crawled up the bed towards him. He looked almost predatory with his determined expression. Cas didn’t bother stripping off Dean’s pants and boxers, he used his Grace and they appeared on the other bed, folded and neat. Dean smirked.

Cas did exactly as Dean had- spit on his hand and wrapped it around Dean’s dick. Cas stroked slowly, unsurely. Dean saw Cas’ hesitation. “Just like that,” Dean said breathily. Cas confidently stroked Dean’s dick and then lowered his head. Dean’s breath hitched as Cas’ mouth met the head of his cock. Dean had only favored Cas’ head because he didn’t know if the angel could handle more. Dean could handle more. “All the way, Cas. More in your mouth,” Dean instructed him. Cas did just that and Dean practically saw stars. He moaned long and low as Cas sucked most of Dean’s cock into his mouth. Cas continued to alternately suck and stroke Dean until Dean was close to coming. “S-stop,” Dean gasped out. He didn’t want to come yet.

Cas stopped and sat up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Dean said and got out of the bed. He walked on unsteady legs to his duffle bag and rooted around the bottom for the lube and condoms he hadn’t looked for in awhile. He was glad he hadn’t thrown them out. Dean returned to the bed. “I was just getting this.”

Cas took the bottle from Dean and read the label. “What is this for?” he asked.

“For sex,” Dean said with a grin.

Cas still looked confused but he shrugged. “Alright,” he said. He trusted Dean. Completely. The thought send a shiver down Dean’s spine. An angel of the Lord trusted Dean absolutely.

“Are you okay with being the, uh, bottom?” Dean asked. Did guys as that question? He didn’t even know. He’d never had sex with anyone with a penis before.

“I do not understand,” Cas said.

“Are you okay with me fucking you?” Dean asked awkwardly.

“I thought we’d already agreed that we were going to fornicate,” Cas said.

“Yeah, but do you want me to be inside you?” Dean asked even more awkwardly.

Cas looked thoughtful. “This time. Maybe I’ll want to be inside you next time.”

Dean wasn’t sure if he was okay with that but for now he was going to have to be. “Lie back,” Dean instructed Cas. Cas moved so that he could rest his head on the pillow. Dean settled himself between Cas’ legs.

“Is this going to hurt?” Cas asked.

Fuck if Dean knew. But he imagined it would a little bit at least. “Uhm, maybe yeah. But not a lot. You can handle it for sure.”

Cas nodded and swallowed. Dean flipped the cap on the lube and coated a finger. He didn’t have much of an idea as to what he was doing, but he knew enough that Cas was not ready for Dean’s dick. Cas watched with narrowed eyes as Dean coated his finger with the cold lube. He should have probably warmed that shit up first. Oh well. He pressed his lubed up finger at Cas’ entrance. Cas gasped at the temperature and Dean grinned in apology. He pressed in and Cas gasped even further. He looked like he was uncomfortable so Dean went very slowly. When he felt that Cas was ready, Dean lubed up and pressed in another finger. Cas was breathing heavily and gripping at the sheets. Dean curled his fingers up towards Cas’ prostate and found it quickly. Cas called out and arched his back off the bed. Pain danced with pleasure creating a tangled tango of desperation in Cas. Dean saw it on his face. Dean’s dick was unbelievably hard. It was aching with a dull throb after being so close to coming and then stopping. He regretted having Cas stop, but Cas was almost ready for him.

Dean ripped open a condom and rolled it on. Cas watched carefully. Dean added lube to the condom and settled closer to Cas, between his legs. He leaned forward so that his elbows and forearms rested on either side of Cas’ shoulders. He kissed Cas again, long and slow. Then the ache in his cock became too much and he pressed slowly, slowly, slowly into Cas’. Cas trembled and breathed heavily beneath him. Dean was impressed he didn’t come right there at how tight Cas’ was. Dean pressed against Cas’ prostate and Cas moaned with Dean. Once Dean was all the way in, he began to pull out, winning himself a series of whimpers and moans from Cas.

Dean was almost completely out of Cas when Cas grabbed Dean’s ass. “Do it,” Cas growled.

“Do what?” Dean asked cheekily. He looked innocently down at Cas.

“F- fuck me,” Cas said. He hesitated before using the word, but the fact that he did turned Dean on even more.

Cas was sweating beneath him. His skin shone under the light from the lamp next to the bed. Dean knew he was sweating slightly as well. His hands kept slipping on the sheets. He ran his hands through Cas’ hair, making it stand up in all directions as he began to push back into Cas.

Dean began to rock his hips slowly against Cas’. He went at a slow pace until Cas began to push back up against Dean. Dean rocked harder and faster. Each time he pushed into Cas, Cas moaned loudly. Cas’ cock brushed against Dean’s lower stomach every time Dean pressed in, creating a delicious friction. Then as Cas got closer to orgasm, he began to say Dean’s name, words in Enochian, and sounds Dean was pretty sure were nonsense syllables that Cas couldn’t even control. Cas wasn’t quiet. Dean liked it. But he was sure that the people in the room next to them wouldn’t, so he tried to silence Cas with a kiss. The kiss was clumsy and rough and Cas still moaned into Dean’s mouth.

“Dean,” Cas whimpered. Dean rested his forehead against Cas’. “Dean. Dean. Dean.”

The sound of Cas saying his name with so much raw lust, desperation, and trust set Dean over the top. His hips snapped back and forth as he came. He cried out Cas’ name and gripped him as tight as he could. He squeezed his eyes shut and then bit at Cas’ shoulder to muffle himself. The bite and the friction of Dean’s stomach against Cas’ dick is what sent Cas into his second orgasm that night. Dean was only aware of the tightness Cas held him with as he came. Arms and legs wrapped around him, squeezing. Cas’ breath was hot on Dean’s neck.

When Dean gathered the threads of his existence and pulled them back to Earth, he turned his head and kissed Cas lazily. Cas smiled into the kiss and that made Dean grin as well. Dean pulled out of Cas and removed the condom and tossed it in the trash. He took one more deep breath to catch his breath, cleaned himself off with tissues from the nightstand, and turned his head to look at Cas. He smiled. Cas’ eyes were drifting closed and he was fighting it.

“I thought angels don’t sleep,” Dean said.

“We also don’t have sex with humans,” Cas pointed out.

“True,” Dean chuckled. “So, you have to sleep?”

“No,” Cas shook his head. “My vessel is what allows me to feel physical sensations. I let go of my Grace to feel all of the physical sensations of having sex with you.”

“So, you get to feel what you want, like you can turn it on and off?” Dean asked, amazed.

Cas nodded. “Yes. And I can ‘turn on’ my Grace again and not have to sleep,” Cas said, with the finger quotes.

“Don’t,” Dean said without realizing he’d even spoken. His own eyes were beginning to droop and his body hummed in sleepy satisfaction.

“Don’t turn it back on?” Cas asked.

“Mmhm. Sleep with me, Cas,” Dean said with a silly, sleepy grin.

“Alright,” Cas said with a small smile and reached down for the blankets to pull over them.

Once they were settled into pillows and blankets, they faced each other. Nose to nose and slept.