The instant his hand brushes your skin you realize you’ve been lying to yourself.
In trying to so hard to move on, to be in love with Zach, you’ve forgotten the feeling of Seth.
He touches you so gently, so tentatively, as if you are porcelain. Seth’s always made you feel like a treasure, beautiful and rare, now more than ever. His touch is whisper soft, like old memories and distant dreams, and he is so, so close.
Modeling for Seth was never supposed to be this erotic. It wasn’t supposed to be erotic at all.
In the six months you’ve been with Zach, you haven’t felt anything like this. The two of you are barely past the kissing stage and sometimes it seems that the only touch Zach will ever give you is covering your eyes and waiting for you to guess who.
Up ‘til now, nothing you had with Seth felt like this either. Your couplings were always impulsive and awkward, completely unlike the graceful, deliberate way Seth is touching you now. A pang of distress hits you as you wonder who taught him this, and you hate that it wasn’t you.
His touch feels magnetic, it’s holding you hostage. When he is finally satisfied with your positioning and releases you, you bolt halfway across the room before you realize what you’ve done.
“I wish I could draw,” you hear yourself say but you’re in a fuzzy place detached from reality, and you know as you reach for Seth’s pencil, letting him teach you to draw that it’s all a ploy to get him to touch you again.
You let him guide your wrist, because his touch, just a finger on either side of your wrist has taken away your control. You are his puppet. You’ve always been his puppet.
Your eyes met and his hand falls away and for a second you are crushed. But he smiles at you a little and lowers his eyelids, and you are so, so ready for what comes next.
“I think I’ve got all the angles I need.” It is Seth’s ethics that prevent your kiss. Funny, you never really thought Seth had ethics.
He’s really changed, to respect Zach, and you, enough not to take advantage of you. Still, being rejected by Cohen, again, stings a little.
You can’t be mad at him though because you want him so badly. You need him, you love him, all these latent feelings have sprung to the surface, and he’s still inches from your nose.
There have never been sparks like this between you before. Sparks, yes. Absolutely. But never so… intense. It’s almost like you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Giving in will hurt all of you in the end, but denying the urge to be with Seth, ignoring the chemistry between you, seems like sacrilege.