"Oh," Dean says, looking down at his uniform. "Oh, oh, I know this one. Dammit, which one is it?"
"You tell me," Sam says. "And why am I wearing blue?"
"What, you'd rather be a redshirt?" Dean fingers the sleeve of his shirt. "Okay, I've got sleeve-marked rank, that makes it original series. Probably."
"So I'm... science?" Sam shrugs. "I guess that makes sense."
"And I'm command." Dean leans over slightly as a female officer passes by. He resists whistling, but only just. "Oh yeah, definitely original series." He grins at the next officer to walk by, who shoots a halfhearted glare at him.
"Captain," she says, sounding both annoyed and tired. She looks past him at Sam and smiles slightly. She nods her head respectfully. "Commander. Could I have a word?"
Sam glances at Dean, at the sleeveless, rankless uniform the woman is wearing, and makes a guess. "Certainly... Lieutenant?" He follows her down the hall, shooting Dean one last questioning look before ducking into a room.
Dean looks around carefully. No one is watching. He slides to the wall and runs a hand up the smooth computer interface. "Hey there," he says quietly. "So I'm your Captain? I've already got a baby, but you could be my sweetheart." Something beeps, and Dean grins. "You like that, huh? Well, sweetheart - "
" - what the hell are you doing?" Dean jumps and turns around quickly at the sound of the voice right behind him. A scruffy looking guy in blue is staring at him like he's crazy.
"Nothing," Dean says.
"Right." Somehow the guy remains unconvinced. "Jim, when was the last time you were on an away mission?"
"J - " Dean pauses. He grins. "Would you excuse me for just a minute? ...Bones?"
Bones shrugs. "I want you down in the medbay in fifteen minutes, Jim. There's something off about you."
"I'll get right on that," Dean says as he runs down the hall to the room Sam and - holy shit, was that Uhura? - had entered. He knocks on the door. "Sam?" he whispers. "Sammy? You gotta get out here, you'll never believe - "
Sam opens the door and stumbles out, grinning and disheveled. "Did you know Uhura and Spock had a thing?" he asks.
Dean frowns. "No they - wait, are you Spock?"
Sam lifts his hair up to reveal pointed ears and slanted eyebrows.
"I'm guessing you're Kirk?"
"Yeah." Dean glances around as they walk down towards one of the elevator-things. "This is a bit shinier than I remember the Enterprise being. And I don't remember Uhura looking that hot..."
Sam snaps his fingers. "That's it!"
"This isn't the original series, it's the reboot movie!" He gestures at the ship around them. "They upped the CGI, blew up Vulcan, and had two Spocks." He glances behind them and smirks. "And Kirk didn't get the girl."
Dean turns to see Uhura stepping out of that room, adjusting her dress. He sulks. "Dammit, the one time he doesn't!"