CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened public transtimeline bulletin board ASSHOLE RUMPUS ROUNDUP
CCG RIGHT NOW opened memo on board ASSHOLE RUMPUS ROUNDUP
CCG: ALRIGHT ALL YOU NOOKSNIFFING MORONS, LISTEN UP!
CCG: SOLLUX IS NOW IN, COMPLETING OUR STUPID MOEBIUS WRAP CLUSTERFUCK OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CALLED. IN LIGHT OF THIS AND A BUNCH OF OTHER BULLSHIT WE REALLY SHOULD ALL HAVE KNOWN FROM THE BEGINNING -
CCG: AND YES, AT, I AM IMPLICITLY CALLING YOU OUT ON THIS, SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK DUDE -
CCG: THE RED AND BLUE TEAMS ARE FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD OFFICIALLY DISSOLVED.
CCG: EVERYONE - AND I DO MEAN EVERYONE, WHATEVER TEAM YOU WERE ON BEFORE - IS TO CHECK IN HERE IMMEDIATELY UPON READING THIS MEMO.
CCG: IF WE WANT TO ACTUALLY WIN THIS GAME AND NOT BE CRUSHED UNDER THE COLOSSAL WEIGHT OF OUR COLLECTIVE PSYCHOSIS, WE’RE ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER FOR ONCE IN OUR MISERABLE LIVES.
CCG: IN MY INFINITE MAGNANIMITY I MAY EVEN WITHHOLD FROM BANNING YOU FOR WHATEVER INCONCEIVABLE NEW LEVEL OF STUPIDITY YOU SOMEHOW MANAGE TO VOMIT FROM YOUR HIDEOUS PROTEIN CHUTES.
FUTURE gallowsCalibrator 0:04 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo.
FGC: H3Y K4RK4T, DO3S TH1S M34N YOU 4DM1T D3F34T? >||]
CCG: NO, AND ALSO FUCK OFF, TEREZI. I’M STILL IN CHARGE.
FGC: WH4T, DO YOU HON3STLY 3XP3CT TH3 WHOL3 BLU3 T34M TO SUDD3NLY BOW DOWN TO YOU? OH GOG, YOUR N41V3T3 1S SO V3RY 4DOR4BL3!
CCG: YES, IN FACT, I DO.
CURRENT centaursTesticle RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCT: D--> This is e%cruciatingly impr0per
CCT: D--> I cann0t even pr0perly c0mmunicate h0w 100d the idea 0f a mutant such as y0urself simply declaring himself ab0ve all 0f us is
CCT: D--> The empress will never all0w this
FUTURE cuttlefishCuller 2:16 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCC: Y-ES, in fact, s)(e WILL. I have OFIS)(S)(-ELLY ceded command of t)(e IMP-ERIAL R-EMNANT to ACTING R-EG-ENT Karcrab for t)(e duration of t)(is game. Anyone w)(o acknowledges my rule as -Empress will accept )(is orders as t)(oug)( t)(ey were my own. Is t)(at clear?
CCT: D--> Yes
FCC: GOOD. 38I
CCT: D--> I seem t0 be leaking 0il fr0m my faceplate
CCT: D--> This feature is n0t inc100ded in my schemati%
FCC: TMI, ---Equius!!! 3XD )(---E-E )(---E-E )(---E-E
FCC: O)( wow, acting all aut)(oritative like t)(is is ---EX)(AUSTING! I )(ope you’ll be okay, Karcrab! 38D
CCG: I THINK SOMEHOW I’LL SURVIVE.
CCG: CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN ON MAKING THE FIRST REASONABLE DECISION OF YOUR IMPOSSIBLY RIDICULOUS LIFE, FEFERI.
CCG: DO YOU FEEL THAT STRANGE TINGLE IN THE BACK OF YOUR THINK PAN? THAT’S CALLED SANITY. SAVOR IT, FOR I’M SURE IT WILL DIE THE MOMENT I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR TWO SECONDS.
FCC: O)(, you’re suc)( a clownfis)(. I’ll glub to you all later, okay?
FCC: OMG I just saw t)(e COOL---EST STARFIS)(
FCC ceased responding to memo.
FGC: OK 1 H4V3 TO 4DM1T 1 D1DN’T S33 TH4T COM1NG
FGC: CONGR4TUL4T1ONS, YOU F1N4LLY GOT ON3 P4ST M3
FGC: 1 W4S B3G1NN1NG TO TH1NK 1 W4S TH3 ONLY ON3 1NV3ST3D 1N TH1S R3L4T1ONSH1P
FGC: L3T’S S33, TH4T M4K3S 1T...
FGC: K4RKL3S: 1
FGC: T3R3Z1: 1025
CCG: THIS IS SO NOT THE TIME THAT THE TIME COULDN’T RECOGNIZE IT AFTER WATCHING A NIGHTTIME TV BIOGRAPHICAL FILM.
CCG: NOW THAT YOU KNOW THE SCOOP, GET THE FUCK OFF THIS BOARD SO EVERYONE ELSE CAN POST UNLESS YOU WANT MY FIRST ACT AS REGENT TO BE STRANGLING YOU WITH YOUR OWN TONGUE.
CCG: (THE TIME IS FORTY MINUTES FROM NOW, TROLL ME THEN SO I CAN GLOAT PROPERLY)
FGC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3, F1N3 TH3N, MY LORD >||P
FGC ceased responding to memo.
CCG: THANK YOU. NOW WILL THE REST OF YOU SPONGEPANNED IDIOTS ACTUALLY PAY ATTENTION FOR THE TWO MINUTES IT TAKES TO CHECK THE FUCK IN ALREADY?
PAST arsenicCatnip 0:23 MINUTES AGO began responding to memo.
PAC: :33 < conglaturations, karkitty! i’m sure you’ll be a pawsitively purrfect leader!
CCG: THANK YOU, NEPETA. IT’S ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE A REMINDER THAT THERE ARE ACTUALLY MULTIPLE PEOPLE ON THIS TEAM CAPABLE OF BEING REASONABLE WHEN PRESSED.
PAC: :33 < h33 h33, i can purractically h33r you pr33ning all the way ofur h33r
CCT: D--> Nepeta
CCG: YEAH YEAH, WE KNOW, FUCKING SHUT UP ALREADY.
CCT: D--> Yes sir
CCT: D--> S0 l0ng as y0u understand that 0ur agreement still stands
CCG banned CCT from responding to memo.
CCG: I GET IT, NOW FUCK OFF.
PAST elegantBotanist 0:15 MINUTES AGO began responding to memo.
PEB: I Suppose This Is As Good A Time As Any To Check In
PEB: I Am Glad To Hear That We Have Dispensed With All This Red And Blue Team Nonsense It Always Struck Me As A Waste Of Time
PEB: I Do Hope That This Discussion Can Continue Without Me However As I Must Soon Depart For My First Gate If We Are Ever Going To Complete This Game
FUTURE adiosToreador 6:12 HOURS FROM NOW began responding to memo.
FAT: uH, JUST STAY AWAY FROM THE NEON GREEN ONES UNTIL YOU’RE HIGHER LEVEL, oK,
FAT: tHEY’RE, uH, NOT VERY GOOD AT, CHASING, SO, JUST RUN,
FAT: dON’T TRY TO, FIGHT THEM, UH, UNTIL YOU’VE POWERLEVELED A BIT,
PEB: I Will Endeavor To Do As You Suggest
CCG: THERE YOU ARE, YOU MISERABLE SON OF A BITCH.
FAT: uHHM, mY CURRENT SELF IS BUSY, NOT DYING, BUT HE WILL RESPOND IN A LITTLE BIT, SO YOU CAN, YELL AT HIM THEN,
FAT ceased responding to memo.
CURRENT arachnidsGrip RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.
CAG: Hahahahahahahaha, tyyyyyyyypical Tavros.
CAG: I 8et he didn’t even try to fight his imps 8efore a8sconding.
PAST apocalypseArisen 3:14 HOURS AGO began responding to memo.
PAA: y0u realize that this mess is as much y0ur fault as his right
PAA: y0u make a ridicul0us mess as usual just by n0t paying attenti0n and as usual i’m the 0ne wh0 has t0 pick up the pieces
CAG: I w8s distr8cted!!!!!!!!
CAG: 8esides, aren’t you the one who looooooooved making us play through your silly “save the world from annihil8tion” FLARP campaigns? Think of this as an opportunity for the 8etter half of Team Charge to show off her expertise.
PAA: whatever vriska i d0n’t even care
PAA: as f0r the change in leadership i d0n’t care ab0ut that either
PAA: karkat will be an 0kay leader i guess 0_0
CCG: ...WAIT A MINUTE, YOU WEREN’T EVEN IN 3 HOURS AGO! WHAT THE FUCK?
PAA: time player shenanigans d0n’t w0rry i have it all under c0ntr0l
CCG: FINE. AND VRISKA, DON’T THINK YOU’RE OFF THE HOOK JUST YET. AS SOON AS WE’RE DONE WITH THIS MEMO YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE A VERY LONG CHAT ABOUT SERVER RESPONSIBILITIES.
CCG: MURDER MAY OR MAY NOT BE INVOLVED. I’M GOING TO PLAY IT BY EAR.
CAG: whateeeeeeeever, karkat.
FUTURE caligulasAquarium 0:42 MINUTES FROM NOW began responding to memo.
FCA: wwell i guess this looks important or somefin
FCA: should i actually read it or is it just a huge wwaste a time like usual
CCG: ALL OF MY MEMOS ARE FUCKING WORKS OF ART YOU ENCEPHALITIC DOUCHENOZZLE. BUT YES, THIS ONE IS SERIOUSLY FUCKING IMPORTANT, SO GO READ IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.
FCA: pssh fin wwhatevver
CURRENT twinArmaggedons RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.
CTA: yeah whiile he2 doiing that ii’d ju2t liike two 2ay thank2 a lot, KK, my beehiive2 are fuckiing ruiined forever.
CTA: bee2. my cod. why the fuck diid you prototype them.
CTA: and why the fuck can’t the iimps tell they’re two biig two fiit iin the hiive2 anymore, 2eriiou2ly.
CCG: WELL WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO PROTOTYPE, YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT BEETH AND COMPUTERS.
CCG: WAS I SUPPOSED TO GIVE EVERY ENEMY IN THE GAME ACCESS TO YOUR STUPID CURSE EVERYTHING FOREVER SCRIPTS IN ADDITION TO THE BULLSHIT GODMODE THEY ALREADY HAVE?
FCA: wwait wwhat
FCA: wwhat the fuck
FCA: wwhy wwould fef glubbin do that
CTA: do you have any iidea how much that 2hiit co2t2, KK?
CCG: YEAH, LIKE MONEY MEANS MORE THAN SHIT NOW.
FCA: don’t fuckin ignore me i wwant answwers
CTA: 2hut up ED, the biig boy2 are talkiing. deal wiith iit.
CTA: B :| B :| B:|
CTA banned FCA from responding to memo.
CCG: ANYWAY, WHERE THE FUCK IS GAMZEE?
FUTURE terminallyCapricious 3:49 HOURS FROM NOW began responding to memo.
FTC: RIGHT here MOTHERFUCKERS.
CAG: oh g8d
CCG: GAMZEE... WHY ARE YOU TYPING LIKE THAT.
FTC: whoa, BRO, is SOMETHING the MOTHERFUCKING matter WITH the WAY i TYPE?
CAG: g8t it aw8y g8t it aw8y g8t it aw8y g8t it aw8y g8t it aw8y g8t it aw8y g8t it aw8y g8t it aw8y
FTC: sorry, SIS, i WASN’T trying TO get MY motherfucking SCARE on.
FTC: HONK Do:
CCG: OH GOG FUCKING DAMMIT THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE LAST FUCKING THING I NEED RIGHT NOW.
CCG: SHIT SHIT SHIT WHERE THE FUCK IS TAVROS
FTC: my MAIN motherfucker’s RIGHT here, BRO!
FTC: lemme PUT him ON for YOU.
FTC: honk :o)
CCG: I SWEAR IF ITS A FUCKING HEADPUPPET I WILL SHIT ALL OF THE RAGESNAKE.
CURRENT elegantBotanist RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.
CEB: Vriska Appears To Have Collapsed Does Anyone Know
CEB: Oh My
FTC: oK, uHH, dON’T PANIC,
FTC: wHILE gAMZEE BEING SOBER IS AN IMMUTABLE FACT, THAT i AM STATING FOR THE RECORD,
FTC: tHAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT, A PSYCHOTIC BREAK, IS WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE,
CCG: OH GOOD, DR. BULLSHIT HAS GIVEN HIM A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH, NOW WE CAN ALL NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING MURDERED!
CCG: NOT FUCKING LIKELY, NOT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME.
FTC: rEALLY, wHILE EVERYTHING IS NOT, EXACTLY FINE, i HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL,
FTC: hE’S NOT DANGEROUS,
FTC: uHH, tO US AT LEAST,
FTC: tRUST ME,
CCG: YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH YOU’RE ASKING? ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU PROMISED THIS WOULD NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN ON YOUR WATCH.
FTC: i KNOW, BUT REALLY, IT’S OK,
FTC: aND WE’RE GOING TO NEED SOME MIRACLES, TO HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE, vERY SOON,
CCG: I SWEAR TO WHATEVER DEITY HASN’T UTTERLY ABANDONED US THAT IF YOU’RE WRONG I WILL SHIT ON YOUR CORPSE AFTER HE’S DONE WITH IT AND THEN FEED IT TO YOUR DREAMSELF, GOT IT?
FTC: uH, oK,
??? tentacleTherapist AT ?:?? responded to memo.
?TT: I volunteer my services as divine witness to this oath.
CCG: OH, FUCK MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. REALLY?
??? turntechGodhead AT ?:?? responded to memo.
?TG: listen kaykay tv may not be the most convincing dude in the world but my man gz is the least of your worries right now
CCG: YEAH, LIKE I’M GOING TO LISTEN TO YOUR OPINION ON HIM.
?TG: yeah okay i fucked that up pretty hardcore i admit but right now you gotta be paying attention to the rings
?TT: To be more precise, it is imperative that you carefully track the movements of the prototyping artifacts, as the royals, both Prospitian and Dersite, of your game do not seem to be particularly good at holding on to them.
?TG: the kings and queens got rules about when they can and cant hurt players which basically boil down to not until the endgame but the rest of the lot have no such thing
?TG: eventually a real scumbag of a dersite is gonna get his hands on one and you NEED to know exactly when and where if youre gonna have any chance to survive this clusterfuck
CURRENT adiosToreador RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.
CAT: uH, OK, i THINK i LOST ALL THE IMPS,
CAT: uM, WHAT,
??? ghostyTrickster AT ?:?? began responding to memo.
?GT: don’t try to stop it from happening! it’s already a sure thing, or else we wouldn’t be talking to you right now. but you have to keep track of this creep or he’ll kill you all, and no one wants that.
CAT: wHAT IS GOING ON?
CCG: WAIT, WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY ANYWAY?
??? gardenGnostic AT ?:?? began responding to memo.
?GG: dersite archagent jack noir. a real nasty bastard >:(
?GG: hi tavros! sorry for not telling you everything, but since i know you lied to me a bunch, we’ll call it even, ok? ;P
CCG: GREAT, ARE ANY MORE OF YOU ALIENS GOING TO CRAWL OUT OF THE WALLS?
CAT: aLIENS, wHAT,
?TG: fuck harley you really didnt tell him shit did you
CCG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THE ALIENS WHO’VE BEEN PESTERING US FOR SWEEPS?
CAT: wAS i, THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN’T KNOW, THEY WERE ALIENS?
PAA: pr0bably yes 0_0
CTA: ii2n’t iit obviiou2?
FUTURE gallowsCalibrator 0:12 MINUTES FROM NOW began responding to memo.
FGC2: Y34H 1T K1ND4 W4S
CEB: I Was Aware
PAC: :33 < i new too, and so did equius!
FUTURE caligulasAquarium 2:31 HOURS FROM NOW began responding to memo.
FCA2: ros i am here to duel you
?TT: Not in the middle of the memo, Mister Ampora.
FCA2: then i wwill sit here consumed wwith wwrath for the rest a the evvenin
CURRENT terminallyCapricious RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.
CTC: sHiT, bRo, EvEn I kNeW wHaT aLl ThAt WaS mOtHeRfUcKiNg AbOuT.
CCG: OH, GREAT, NOW OF ALL TIMES YOU SHOW UP.
CAT: oK, i GUESS THAT EXPLAINS SOME OF THE THINGS i SAW, iN THE CLOUDS,
CAT: aND i FEEL LESS BAD, ABOUT NOT TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT, pROSPIT,
CCG: YOU’RE STILL IN FOR A SMACKDOWN FOR THAT LITTLE BIT OF INCREDIBLE IDIOCY WHERE YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO PROTOTYPE YOUR FUCKING DEVILBEAST LUSUS, YOU MISERABLE LITTLE SHIT.
CEB: I Think Youll Find That The Guilt For That Incident Belongs To John
CCG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
CCG: ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
?GT: well, maybe, a tiny bit kinda...
?GT: we were talking a8out important things!!!!!!!! we just lost track of time!!!!!!!!
CCG: AGHUGAGATRHATRGUO;BJK;ASDHADS HU;GHE
?GT: tavros, before he murders me, can you please go to vriskas place and get her to her computer so i can snap her out of her panic attack?
CAT: oK, ON IT,
CCG: ROGHAEGBIPAE;GHAERGNSFNADNGADFGHRGHAERT JWIOGRBGEOAN
?GT: thanks. running now.
?GT ceased responding to memo.
CURRENT cuttlefishCuller RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.
CCC: Guys, )(as anyone seen my mom around? I can’t find )(er, and I’m reely getting worried...
CCC: I know s)(e came in wit)( me, so w)(ere could s)(e )(ave gotten two?
FCA: fef all our lusii havve vvaninshed
FCA: so long as wwe finish this before wwe gotta feed her again wwho cares wwhat she does in the mean time
FCA: fuck there are no wwhales left and i bet she cant eat angels so i hope wwe dont gotta feed her again
CCC: ----ERI!!! I’m worried about )(er!
FCA: fef shes gigantic nothin can touch her
?TT: Not true, unfortunately.
CCC: O)( NO!!! 38(
?TT: Princess, you’re mother waits for you in the Farthest Ring, where you will see her soon. Trust her words, no matter what they are.
CCC: ...W)(y wouldn’t I?
?GG: you’ll see :(
CCG: OH, GREAT, SO NOT ONLY ARE WE SHARING A REALITY WITH MOMTHULHU, SHE CAN ACTUALLY DIE HERE WHERE WE’LL HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER?
FGC2: 4R3 YOU DON3 POUND1NG YOUR K3YBO4RD TH3N?
CCG: FUCK, THE ASSHOLES ON ALTERNIA AND THE FLEET HAD IT EASY JUST BEING KILLED BY METEORS, DIDN’T THEY.
?TT: Circumstances are indeed dire. Persevere, however, and most of you will only die once or twice in the process.
CCG: FUCKING. JOY.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist 6:12 HOURS FROM NOW began responding to memo.
FCG: ARE YOU NOOKSNIFFERS DONE YET?
FCG: GOG, KNOWING THAT THIS WAS THE LEAST PAINFULLY IDIOTIC MEMO WE EVER HAD JUST MADE ME THROW UP IN MY MOUTH A LITTLE.
FCG closed memo on board ASSHOLE RUMPUS ROUNDUP.