-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmaggedons [TA] --
CC: )(---EY TH-ER-E little fis)(! 38D
CC: )(ow are t)(ings going?
TA: oh hey FF.
TA: ii ju2t got fiinii2hed 2huttiing up my lu2u2 2o ii'm ready two 2tart whenever ED ii2.
TA: nothiing'2 the matter over there ii2 iit?
CC: NOP-E, evert)(ing's just beac)(y!
CC: W)(AL-----E, I wanted to ask you about maybe c)(anging up t)(e order a little.
CC: I know I said I'd go last but could I actually go in a)(ead of you?
TA: 2ure that'2 no problem.
CC: It's just t)(at reading Equius's guide )(as got me so glubbing -EXCIT-ED about t)(is, I hope it's no imposition...
TA: haha, iit'2 no iimpo2iitiion, YOUR MAJE2TY.
CC: 38O H---EY, you know you don't )(ave to call me t)(at!
TA: ii know, ii ju2t thiink iit'2 funny for 2omeone who could have been empre22 two worry about 2uch a liittle thiing.
TA: ii'm 2orry, ii'll take iit back iif iit up2et you.
CC: It's fine, I just don't want you tuna be comfortable around me!
TA: ok, well, iit get2 me farther away from NP, 2o ii'm perfectly happy wiith thii2,
TA: probably more proper for me two be 2erviing you than the other way around anyway.
CC: Again wit)( the glubbing “proper” nonsense? 38(
TA: haha ju2t me22iing wiith you now.
CC: 38O )(OW SCANDALOUS!!! 3XD )(-E-E)(-E-E)(-E-E
CC: But...are you reelly sure you're okay wit)( being on t)( same team as )(er?
TA: iit's ok FF. ii knew all along there wa2 no way to be in thii2 team and not have to deal wiith her.
TA: EQ wouldn't 2tand for her beiing on the red team and AD wouldn't let u2 be on a diifferent team a2 hiim, glub iif ii know what 2he 2ee2 iin hiim though.
CC: 38O was t)(at a GLUB ii saw?
TA: cod dammiit.
CC: 38) 38) 38)
TA: and uh
TA: well ii wanted two be on your team two.
CC: 38D 38D 38D
CC: It's reelly too bad you don't feel t)(e same way Nepeta does t)(oug)(...
TA: look FF, after the iinciident ii ju2t don't want anythiing two do wiith her, ii can't hate her liike that.
TA: after what 2he diid ii ju2t want her two 2TAY AWAY FROM M
-- twinArmaggedon's [TA] computer exploded! --
CC: O)( MY COD! SOLLUX!!!
-- twinArmaggedon [TA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] --
TA: iit'2 ok, ii have a 2pare and nothiing iimportant wa2 damaged.
CC: O)( my cod, are YOU okay? 38<
TA: ii'm FIINE iit'2 ju2t really hard typiing wiith telekiine2ii2 when ii'm angry and the voiice2 are 2o loud.
TA: FF iit'2 not your fault.
TA: not the voiice2 and not my arm2.
CC: Isn't it, t)(oug)(?
TA: ...well iif you reelly want iit two be.
TA: but iit'2 not liike there wa2 anythiing you could have done diifferent two 2top iit 2o no poiint iin ang2tiing about iit.
TA: you know liike II would, HAHA.
CC: 38| 38| 3XD
CC: O)(, I KNOW! 383
CC: W)(y don't you get ---ERIDAN to auspisticize for you! )(e's got LOTS of experience in driving off girls t)(at are interested in )(im!
TA: haha WOW.
TA: yeah he'd probably tell me two throw a whale at her or 2omethiing.
TA: ok btw ii ju2t 2ent hiim a note two troll you when he'2 done wiith whatever 2henaniigan2 he'2 dealiing wiith and ii2 ready two play.
CC: O)(! Yea)(, it looks like )(e's messaging me now!
TA: ok you have fun wiith your moiiraiil and troll me whenever you're ready.
CC: OKAY! S-EA YOU SOON, SOLLUX!!!!!
TA: 2ee you.
-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling twinArmaggedons [TA] --
You suppress the urge to massage your forehead to deal with your headache; the useless arms hanging at your sides, torn apart by claws, are the whole reason you're using your telekinesis to type in the first place. Like any sensible person, you carry five computers on your person at all times, but it would be nice if you didn't have to replace them so often when they explode from psychic pressure.
You're going to have to settle things with the cat girl soon. Too bad just killing her with your brain isn't an option; Equius and Karkat would flip their shit so hard. No way are you going black for her like everyone seems to think you should.
You don't know why the princess picked now of all times to try and fill all of your quadrants, but you kind of wish she'd stop. At least partly. Oh gog you hope you aren't just imagining her flushed interest in you – if it really is too good to be true and you fuck up your friendship making ridiculous presumptions you hope you just bleed out from every orifice.
> Far away...
-- ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering elegantBotanist [EB] --
GT: kanaya? come on, talk to me.
EB: Why Are You Contacting Me
EB: I Should Think Changing My Handle And Neglecting To Inform You Would Be Enough Of A Hint That I Have No Interest In Interacting With You Further
GT: look, kanaya, i just feel really bad about how things went down at i think we should talk about things.
GT: i don't want there to be any hard feelings.
EB: Hard Feelings
EB: Why Of Course I Harbor No Hard Feelings What Could Possibly Give You That Impression
EB: That Was That Thing You Told Me About Called Human Sarcasm Could You Tell
EB: So Was That In Case You Are Having Trouble Keeping Up
GT: hehe yeah you're getting pretty good at that.
GT: but what i'm trying to say is that i'm sorry. i didn't mean for you to get hurt.
EB: Oh You Didnt Hmm
EB: That Is Why You Encouraged Me Ever Forward While Simultaneously Destroying Any Chance Of My Success
EB: To Keep Me From Getting Hurt
EB: You Knew What Would Happen
GT: i didn't!
EB: You Have The Ability To Observe Us From Any Point In Our Timelines You Choose How Could You Possibly Not Have Known
GT: because i didn't look ahead! i try to keep this whole thing as sane as possible, which means only looking forward when i have to, not zooming around from moment to moment on a whim!
EB: So You Would Prefer I Attribute This Betrayal To Stupidity Rather Than Malice
GT: yes! No! i mean, come on...
GT: kanaya, i was rooting for you all along. i know you don't believe it but i was. i wanted you to have a chance, and that's why i told you to go for it.
GT: what do you mean, bullshit?
EB: I Mean If You Actually Felt Any Scrap Of Pity For Me You Would Have Taken My Feelings Into Consideration And Looked Ahead To See If I Was Successful
EB: And Then Used The Information You Discovered To Encourage Or Stop Me
GT: so, what, i should have let fate decide? instead of giving you the chance to make the choice out of your own free will?
EB: A Chance
EB: How Arrogant You Humans Must Be To Believe That Your Own Ignorance Can Somehow Magically Alter Causality
EB: When Only One Path To Success Exists Simply Closing Your Eyes And Blocking Your Ears Will Not Allow Variation To Occur
EB: In A Known Timeline Free Will Is A Comforting Illusion And Nothing More
GT: wow, way to be depressing as hell. and i'm not even gonna bother pointing out that if i have no free will i couldn't have chosen to do things differently.
EB: You Just Did See Also Fuck You
GT: but fine. i screwed up, you got hurt. i'm sorry.
EB: Is That So
EB: Then Why If You Knew How Desperate I Was To Form A Red Connection With Her Did You Immediately Enter Into A Moiraillegiance With Her Cutting Off My Only Remaining Hope Since The Flushed Quadrant Was Not An Option So Obviously To Everyone But Me And Supposedly You
GT: ...that wasn't about you, or even about me. that was about vriska.
GT: she needed me to help her, so i did.
EB: And You Could Not Have Given Me A Chance To Fill That Role
EB: I Could Have Helped Her Likely More Easily Than A Culturally Ignorant Alien Even And You Knew I Wanted The Chance
GT: maybe. but i didn't want to leave this to chance. i got into this moiraillegiance because a) i knew i could help her, b) she made a huge leap in asking me to, and c) i'm actually pale for her too, you know!
EB: Hmm So Your Magical Ignorance Powers Werent Sufficient In This Case I See
GT: no! they weren't!
GT: jeez, kanaya, you're being kind of ridiculous right now. i may not know a lot about troll society, but i do know that talking about breaking up moirails is pretty low.
EB: Honestly I Am Far Beyond Caring About Propriety And Civility Right Now
EB: But Fine Enough About Vriska
EB: Let Us Discuss Our Own Relationship Since You Seem Incapable Of Just Taking A Hint And Staying The Fuck Away From Me
EB: You Have Demonstrated Repeatedly That You Are Not As Stupid As You Pretend To Be
EB: Thus I Must Conclude That Rather Than Pity Me You Hate Me And Any Indications Otherwise Are Feigned
GT: what? i'll admit you're really starting to piss me off with how unreasonable you're being, but i don't hate you.
EB: That Is Both Unlikely And Irrelevant Because I Certainly Have Come To Hate You Back
EB: You Despicable Little Boy
EB: For One So Little Versed In The Ways Of Hate You Have Done An Impressive Job Toying With My Emotions And Setting Me Up For Failure After Failure I Will Admit
EB: But You Are But An Imbecilic Student Sitting At The Feet Of A Master Begging For A Tidbit Of Attention
GT: kanaya, calm down! i just wanted to try and reason with you so maybe we could be friends, is all!
GT: i don't get why you won't believe me!
EB: Well Congratulations Brat You Have The Masters Attention And Will Soon Feel The Heat Of Her Wrath As She Schoolfeeds You In What Manipulation Really Means
EB: I Will Require No Temporal Nonsense Or Other Ridiculous Toys To Render The Rest Of Your Miserable Existence Brief As It May Be Unto A Living Hell
GT: wait wait wait.
GT: are you...
GT: hitting on me?
EB: Im Sorry I Thought That Was Obvious
GT: i gotta go bye
-- ghostyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering elegantBotanist [EB] --
-- ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
GT: rose are you there?
TT: What do you want, John?
GT: i think i need an auspistice...
TT: Dammit, John.
Uh oh – the force of Rose's scorn seems to have caused pesterchum to render a font style it's not normally capable of. That can't be a good sign.
> Alternate Session: End of Day 17.
TG: you knew this was gonna happen all along
Most of it, yes.
TG: and you let her walk right into it like a chump
TG: nevermind the rest of us you set up your own granddaughter to die
Very little of that statement is actually true, but I can see why it would seem that way to you.
TG: you know i used to think you were a decent man
TG: but i guess i was wrong about all of that wasnt i
David. The Game isn't over yet.
TG: well its looking pretty fucking hopeless and shes still doomed no matter what we do
I'm surprised at you, David. You should know by now that doomed is just another word. You and your sister are masters of words, are you not?
TG: were supposed to be able to fix this somehow
TG: well fine then old man cut the cryptic bullshit for three seconds and TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK TO DO ALREADY
All in due time, dear boy. The first step in that process lies in answering the person attempting to contact you as we speak. I would advise you to reign in your temper before conversing with her, however.
I will leave you to it. You know how to reach me when you will.
-- ??? ceased contacting turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
AA: hey dave
AA: s0 i fucking finally have the precise am0unt 0f m0ney you asked f0r
AA: 612 b00nb0nds
AA: i had t0 start 0ver like three times because vriska kept stealing all my l00t s0 this had better be w0rth all that time i wasted!
TG: babe thats pocket change i make that much by the hour on the lohacse
AA: then what did y0u want it f0r, anyway?
TG: dunno cant recall asking you for it
TG: who the fuck are you anyway
TG: how the hell did you get this handle and where the heck could you possibly be pestering me from earth is fucking dust
AA: ...dave, it's me, aradia
TG: not ringing any bells here
AA: 0h n0
AA: fuck y0u turnways with a steamr0ller!
AA: i went thr0ugh all that bullshit just s0 we c0uld have 0ur first c0nversati0n?
AA: 0h g0g y0u re such an assh0le!!!
TG: this doesnt sound like my usual kind of assholery but explain a bit more and yeah it probably will
AA: bluh fine!
AA: hi, i'm aradia megid0, i'm an alien, there's twelve 0f us, we're playing the game t00, we're the 0nes wh0 fucked y0u 0ver 0r whatever, here's 0ur handles, blah blah blah
-- apocalypseArisen [AA] sent turntechGodhead [TG] the file “0urhandles.txt” --
AA: n0w g0 get sn00ping and meddling and ruining everything 0r whatever!
AA: i'm 0ff t0 give future y0u a piece 0f my mind
AA: by which i mean a telekinetic bulgepunch
AA: i swear t0 g0g if y0u d0n't find a use f0r that fucking m0ney s0meh0w i will strangle y0u with a whip made fr0m y0ur 0wn intestines, capiche?
-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
TG: ok then