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-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
GC: H3Y K4RK4T
CG: NO.
CG: FUCK OFF, RIGHT NOW. I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU.
GC: 4WW COM3 ON
CG: I WANT NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH YOU, YOU PSYCHOPATH.
GC: C4R3FUL HOW YOU SL1NG THOS3 WORDS 4ROUND
GC: 4 TROLL COULD G3T HURT >||]
GC: 1 41NT DON3 PL4Y1NG W1TH YOU Y3T
CG: GOGDAMMIT TEREZI YOU SAID WE WERE EVEN. YOU AGREED.
GC: H3H3H3
GC: W3 4R3 3V3N
GC: TH3 SCOR3 1S T13D
GC: BUT TH3R3S 4 N3W G4M3 4FOOT >||]
GC: 1TS T1M3 FOR TH3 SC4L3 TO T1P
GC: ON3 W4Y OR TH3 OTH3R
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. YOU WANT TO GO ANOTHER ROUND? THEN WE’LL MEET ON THE SGRUBIAN BATTLEFIELD AND SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.
CG: BUT FOR NOW, TAKE YOUR CRAZY GIRLFRIEND, GO BOTHER THE PRINCESS AND THE HIPSTER TOOL AND THE ROBODOUCHE, AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
GC: OH K4RK4T
GC: WHO3V3R S41D 1 W4S ON THE BLU3 T34M
CG: WHAT
CG: NO
CG: NONONO
GC: 1M 4FR41D 1TS TOO L4T3 TO PROT3ST
GC: MR 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST H4S 4B4NDON3D YOU FOR SOM3 GR4P3 J3LLY
CG: THAT TRAITOROUS LITTLE SHIT!
CG: HE DRAGGED ARADIA OFF WITH HIM, DIDN’T HE.
GC: TH4TS R1GHT
GC: THOUGH MR CHOCOL4T3 M1LK 1S ST1LL LOY4L
GC: 4T L34ST UNT1L H3 F1NDS OUT H1S P4RTN3R SPL1T
GC: 4ND OF COURS3 W3 4LR34DY KNOW MR POW3R4D3 WONT L3T H1S L1TTLE L3TTUC3 L34F 4NYWH3R3 N34R YOU
CG: FUCK YOU
GC: SO 1T LOOKS L1K3 YOUV3 GOT NO CHO1C3 BUT TO 4CC3PT TH3 BUBBL3GUM SQU4D 1F YOU W4NT TO H4VE 4 T34M 4T 4LL
CG: YOU DID THIS.
GC: 1 M1GHT H4V3 3NCOUR4G3D F3F3R1 TO G3T 4 L1TTL3 CLOS3R TO H3R CRUSH 1F TH4TS WH4T YOU M34N >||P
CG: IT’S JUST NEVER ENOUGH WITH YOU IS IT?
CG: YOU’VE ALWAYS GOTTA TAKE THAT ONE MORE STEP FROM COMPLETELY AWFUL TO OBSCENELY OVER THE TOP.
CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT TO BE ON MY TEAM ANYWAY?
GC: YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW
GC: 1N COURT TH3 BURD3N OF PROOF 1S ON TH3 4CCUS3D
GC: YOU M1GHT H4V3 TH3 L3G1SL4SC3R4TORS ST4LL3D BUT YOULL N3V3R G3T OUT OF H3R3 UNT1L TH3YR3 CONV1NC3D
GC: SO K4RK4T
GC: 1S 1T TRU3 >||?
GC: 4R3 YOU WORTHY OF TH3 D3L1C1OUS CH3RRY IN YOUR V31NS
GC: C4N 4 MUT3 MUT4NT L34D B3TT3R TH4N 4 G1RL BORN LUCKY
GC: TH3 G4M3 W1LL SHOW US TH3 TRUTH
CG: HOLY SHIT YOU ARE JUST FUCKED UP BEYOND BELIEF!
GC: 1LL B3 W4TCH1NG YOU K4RK4T
GC: 3V3RY MOV3 YOU M4K3
GC: 3V3RY ORD3R YOU G1V3
GC: 1 WONT 3V3N G3T 1N YOUR W4Y
GC: 1 PROM1S3 1LL B3 ON MY B3ST B3H4V1OR 4S YOUR S3RV3R
CG: NO
CG: FUCK NO, THAT ISN’T HAPPENING.
GC: COM3 ON K4RK4T
GC: DO YOU HON3STLY TH1NK 1LL G1V3 YOUR FR13NDS 4NY MOR3 CHO1C3 TH4N 1 G4V3 YOU
GC: YOUV3 GOT TH1RTY M1NUT3S TO PR3P4R3
GC: SM3LL YOU SOON
GC: H3H3H3H3H3 >||]
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

Fuck. FUCK!

Gogdammit that blind witch just makes you want to scream and scream and scream!

But you can’t even do that. She saw to it personally.

> By the sea, far away...

-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT] --
TC: HeY mY mOoInG mOtHeRfUcKeR, wHeRe YoU aT?
TC: bRo?
AT: uH, sORRY, i WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE,
TC: It’S cOoL, bRo.
TC: So YoU rEaDy FoR tHiS sHiT mAn?
TC: We’Re GoNnA mAkE tHiS hApEn Or SoMeThInG.
TC: hOnK! :o)
AT: aS READY AS, UH, i’LL EVER BE, i GUESS,
AT: tHIS IS, SOME PRETTY SERIOUS SHIT WE’RE GETTING INTO, uH, BRO,
AT: bUT i THINK WE’LL, UH, BE OK,
TC: tHaT’s GrEaT, mAn! I dUnNo WhAt’S tHe MatTeR bUt GoOd To KnOw It’Ll TaKe CaRe Of ItSeLf Or WhAtEvEr.
TC: ApPaReNtLy I’m DoInG tHe SeRvEr ThInG fOr My EyElEsS sIsTeR.
TC: gOoD tO sEe ShE aNd Cg MaDe Up.
AT: i’M PRETTY SURE, THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED,
AT: bUT, UH, WANT ME TO BE YOUR SERVER, THEN? }:)
TC: I gUeSs So, BrO, tHaT sOuNdS cOoL. :o)
AT: oK, GREAT, }:)
AT: iT’S FUNNY THOUGH, i ALWAYS THOUGHT tEREZI AND vRISKA WOULD BE ON, THE OTHER TEAM,
AT: bUT, i GUESS IT DOESN’T MATTER IN THE LONG RUN,
TC: wHaTcHa MeAn, BrO?
AT: dON’T, UH, WORRY ABOUT IT,
AT: yOU JUST KEEP DOING WHAT FEELS, UH, RIGHT, AND i’LL HANDLE ALL THE WORRYING ABOUT WHAT’S, COMING,
TC: cOoL, mOtHeRfUcKeR, cAn Do.
AT: uH, gAMZEE?
TC: WhOa, DiDn’T sPaCe ThE fUcK oUt On YoU tOo LoNg, DiD i?
AT: nO, i JUST, WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING,
TC: MoThErFuCkInG sHoOt, BrO. :o)
AT: iF,
AT: iF THERE WAS SOMEONE, WHO WAS, UH, FLUSHED FOR YOU,
AT: bUT YOU DIDN’T FEEL THE SAME WAY,
AT: bUT YOU LIKED THEM AS, A FRIEND,
AT: hOW WOULD, YOU HANDLE IT,
TC: wElL tHaT’s SoMe MoThErFuCkInG tOuGh ShIt, MaN.
TC: yOu DoN’t WaNt To Be HaRsHiNg NoBoDy’S jOy,
TC: BuT yOu GoTtA bE tRuE tO wHeRe YoUr HeArT’s At.
TC: YoU gOtTa TeLl ThEm HoW yOu FeEl, AnD hOpE tHeY’rE a GoOd EnOuGh FrIeNd To StIcK aRoUnD.
TC: bIgGeR mIrAcLeS hApPeN aLl ThE tImE.
AT: uH, i GUESS SO,
AT: i DON’T EVEN KNOW IF i’LL EVER SEE HER AGAIN,
AT: uH, hYPOTHETICALLY,
AT: bUT i GUESS,
AT: iF IT WAS, ME, i’D APPRECIATE THE HONESTY,
AT: sO, tHANKS,
AT: aND,
AT: uH, YEAH, JUST, THANKS,
TC: sUrE tHiNg, BrO. :o)
TC: hOnK
AT: hEY, gAMZEE?
TC: yEaH?
AT: wHEN, YOU WAKE UP,
AT: cOME FIND ME, uH, oK?
-- adiosToreador [AT] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] --

What was that about, man?

Motherfucker sure can be mysterious sometimes. You like that about him though.

Eh, no worries. He’ll take care of the heavy stuff just fine, like always, and he’ll call on you when he needs you. Big man’s always got your back, and you got his.

> Six days “ago,” in another universe...

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] --
TT: John. John, please.
GT: rose, it’ll be fine, i promise. really!
TT: I don’t like this. Please, John, will you just wait?
GT: rose,
GT: look, i have to do this. jade and i both saw the cloud, so it’s going to happen no matter what anyway.
GT: might as well go right to it with a smile, you know?
GT: besides, how else am i going to save all these salamanders?
TT: You know how I feel about indulging these ridiculous consorts, John.
GT: aww, they’re not so bad. you should really give your turtles another chance.
TT: Likewise I have expressed my doubts as to the authenticity of predestination.
GT: i’m sorry, but i’ve got to go with dave on this one. we might not have total proof yet, but there’s enough evidence that i don’t want to bet against it.
GT: i mean, between the number of clouds jade’s seen come true and dave’s adventures through time, there a pretty good argument in predestination’s favor.
TT: I’ve told you my theories about the manipulation of so-called “alpha” timelines. If you would just wait a day or two, give me time to test them out, this whole situation might be avoidable!
GT: i don’t think i’ve got the time to spare. all signs point to it happening today.
GT: and hey, aren’t you the one who kept telling us to trust the guide like it was holy writ or something?
TT: My trust in the words of some eons-dead alien is somewhat trumped by the idea of watching my friends die, John!
GT: i’m not asking you to watch, rose.
TT: It doesn’t
TT: That’s not what I mean, John...
GT: rose. it’s going to be ok.
GT: even if you don’t trust time, or skaia, or what the horrorterrors have been telling you, trust in me.
GT: i know everything’s going to be fine. trust in that.
GT: rose?
TT: A
TT: Alright.
TT: John?
TT: Can I ask you something truly terrible and unfair?
GT: uh, i guess?
TT: When it’s my turn, will you be there?
GT: ...yeah. yeah, i’ll be there. i’ll be there when you need me; don’t doubt it for a moment.
-- ghostyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
TT: John I
TT: I
TT: Damn it...