Nathan has a superpower. There is no universe unfair enough to land the rest of these idiots with one and not him. He was in the same place, at the same time, hit by the same messed up storm. He refuses to be the only one who didn't get a roll of the cosmic radiation dice.
He has a superpower.
He just obviously hasn't found a situation where it, naturally, makes itself known.
Or it's just fucking lazy.
Either way clearly Nathan needs to find it. Just in case it's something good and he's missing out. Because that's how these things work, the person who doesn't think they have any powers, they always end up with the best one, always. Somewhere inside, just waiting there for him to find it and abuse the fuck out of it, seriously, he will. He deserves it for the amount of shit he's been put through. He deserves something better than these clowns - like the ability to get blowjobs whenever he asks for them.
Which would be awesome.
He should test that.
Kelly's wandered off, god knows where, somewhere, to do something loud and chavvy. Alisha - Alisha's probably somewhere fucking Curtis, or not-fucking Curtis, however their messed up no touching relationship is supposed to work. Quite frankly, when it comes to a face off between true love and the inability to put your dick in something Nathan gives true love a week, a month, depending on how filthy Alisha's willing to be.
The only person still here is Simon. Standing by the wall being weird in that special way he has, like he's always five minute away from trying to chew his own fingers off. Are people allowed to be the weird looking without psychiatric help at some sort of minimum safe distance.
Nathan's fairly sure that Simon's one nasty incident away from being a supervillain.
"Give me a blowjob," he demands. Because really, a man passes up the opportunity for a blowjob at his own peril. The gods would probably notice and deny him blowjobs for the rest of his fucking life.
Great, now Simon's looking at him like he's the mad one. All huge eyes and weird goblin-pale skin.
"No," he says, though Nathan gets the impression he only says it because he thinks Nathan's fucking with him. He's so starved for attention he'd probably say yes if Nathan insisted, like those dogs that go back to their master no matter how many times they kick them. Yeah, he'd probably do anything for a biscuit and a pat on the head.
Nathan sighs out his irritation.
"You'd probably only stare up at me with those creepy eyes anyway. I wouldn't be able to concentrate and it would be disappointing, and who wants a disappointing blowjob."
It would probably be the creepiest blowjob he'd ever had anyway. The creepiest sex full stop.
Well no, okay, there was - no, he's not counting the granny fucking.
The world hates him.
Absolutely hates him.
"That would have been a good power too," Nathan tells him, in a dejected sort of way.
Oh god, it's probably going to turn out to be something shit isn't it. Like the ability to make people bald. His superpower is going to be completely and utterly worthless. It probably won't even be sideshow levels of entertaining. That's why it hasn't shown itself yet. It's too embarrassed.
Because it will probably, in some awful way, involve the absence of body hair and terrible, terrible humiliation.
And not a blowjob to be seen