Prowl had endured many things in his life. He had survived being blown up, attacked, being caught in crossfire. He endured torture, watched the horrors of war unfold before him. But yet, somehow. This recent annoyance at his office was beginning to rival these experiences. Well, he knew that was an over exaggeration. But his mind still couldn’t help but draw the comparison.
Seated at his desk, Prowl tried to watch the visitor across from him. It was difficult with the various gifts and flowers cluttering his works pace. Each with a rather large card, expensive looking, too. Every single one made with the most expensive of materials. Holographic messages were neatly printed inside them. On the cover, bright gold and red letters. All inscribed with the same name.
Leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk, Prowl steepled his fingers. Optics narrowed, he began, “Explain. Why are you doing this?” His frame was rigid, his vents sharply exhaling as he stared right into Rodimus’ optics. Prowl couldn’t stand that smug grin that was permanently pasted onto his face. Rodimus seemed so proud of himself for what he was doing.
Prowl assumed it had to be a prank.
“Come on, Prowly.” Rodimus cooed, kicking his peds up onto Prowl’s desk. A gesture that was met with hands instantly trying to shove him away. Rodimus persisted, it’s something he was really good at. “You know why I’m doing this. I know you aren’t as empty headed as you like to pretend to be.” He laughed to himself, watching Prowl’s expression twist into one of anger. His soft lips pouted, and his faceplates tinting red. Prowl’s optics were bright with passion, and his cute doorwings kept twitching. He was adorable when he got all flustered like that.
“Indulge me.” Prowl pressed on, managing to knock Rodimus’ peds off of his desk. The scratch left behind only sent another spark of anger through him. “Explain why you’d go through all the trouble to find the number to my office, and then bombard me with gifts day in and day out.” Motioning to the large pile of energon sweets, he continued, “You know this amount of gifts is not only pointlessly expensive and excessive... But there isn’t even a logical way for me to even be able to enjoy any of it.”
“There isn’t a single thing about me that isn’t excessive, Prowly.” He could hear Prowl scoffing. Another cute Prowlism that Rodimus adored. Flashing his denta, Rodimus leaned forward. He was only inches from Prowl’s face, close enough to feel Prowl’s vents pouring heat over him. It made something stir in his stomach, craving to make him even hotter. “Okay, you want me to spill? I’ll spill.”
Prowl tried to lean back, the oppressive presence of Rodimus was just something he couldn’t get used to. But with every small movement, Rodimus only moved closer.
“You ever see Earth movies, Prowly?” Rodimus began, his hands pressing on Prowl’s desk. “Specifically, American Earth movies. Well, I’ve seen a lot of them, Prowly-”
“No, I have not.” Prowl cut him off. “And you will stop calling me that. You know my name, Rodimus. This is supposed to be a professional environment, and I don’t see why you need t-”
“Yeah, yeah, Prowly.” Rodimus replied, flipping his wrist. “Anyway, in Earth movies they have a formula to them. A really good one. It’s one of my favorites. It taught me a lot about dating...” Rodimus watched Prowl rolling his optics, crossing his arms under his chest.
It made Prowl’s chest look even bigger when he did that. The way it pushed them up, tilting those headlights in just the right way. It made his own vents begin to kick in, whirring softly. Rodimus didn’t even notice the drool rolling past his lips until there was a sudden shout of indignation from Prowl.
“What are you staring at? Do you have some kind of malfunction?” Prowl spoke through gritted denta, his doorwings flickering in irritation.
“Auh? Uh, I mean.” Rodimus rubbed the back of his head, wiping the drool away with his other hand. “Dating, uh, yeah.” He began, leaning back on the desk. “They always got two types of characters in those movies.”
Pressing his finger against his own chest, he continued, “They got characters like me. The popular guys. The ones that everyone, and I mean everyone, wants to interface with. They’re perfect, athletic, and everyone wants to be them and be with them.” His broad grin returned as he finally was getting momentum again.
“And then there’s the characters like you.” He shoved his finger against Prowl’s headlight, watching his optics go wide. “Nerds. That’s what they call them on Earth. They’re all obsessed with books and boring stuff. Like math and thinking and things like that. No one likes them, no one wants to interface with them. They’re dull and they’d probably keep their seal forever unless someone felt bad for them.”
Prowl slapped Rodimus’ hand away, his mouth hanging open as he tried to find something to say in retaliation. It was too much for Prowl to handle. Between blatant insults and violations of personal space. He was at a loss for words. “So… so…” He was trying to buy himself time to process all this before Rodimus started talking again. “Why? Why would you spend time with someone like me, then? If you’re so important.” There.
“Well you see, that’s the thing about Earth movies.” Rodimus began, glad that Prowl gave him the perfect opportunity to segue into his next point, “The nerd always wears glasses, you know? So it’s the popular guy’s job to take the nerds glasses off and like, make them look good. Make them sexy and all that. Because it turns out when the nerd takes their glasses off, they’re actually really hot.” He didn’t get why Prowl was just staring at his desk now, but Rodimus assumed he was overwhelmed with how nice Rodimus was being. He had that effect on people, after all.
“So that’s what I’m going to do, take your glasses off.” Crossing his arms over his own chest, Rodimus was beaming with pride. He knew Prowl was going to warm up to this idea. It was guaranteed.
“Rodimus I’m not wearing any-”
“It’s a figure of speech! Okay? Look, I just want to take you out and make you realize you can be hot. You don’t have to be a big boring nerd. You got a nice frame, and you’re cute. We just need to get rid of your glasses.” Rodimus rested his hands on his hips, staring down at Prowl.
“You know what, fine.” Prowl’s tone was exasperated. Massaging his head, he let out a loud sigh. “Here’s how it’s going to go…”
Rodimus perked up. He watched Prowl as he spoke. Prowl was putting up a lot less of a fight than he assumed he would. Hell, Rodimus had pushed back a couple meetings just for the sake of buying time.
“I will go on one date with you.” Prowl held up his finger, waving it at Rodimus. “One. Only one. If I have fun, which I honestly doubt I will, then I’ll attend another. We will continue these dates until I decide my feelings on you.”
He needed to crush that optimistic look that Rodimus was giving him. This wasn’t supposed to make him excited. “If I do not have fun, and I want these dates to stop. They will stop. This also means no more gifts, no more letters. Nothing. You will leave me alone unless it’s strictly business oriented. Understood?”
“Deal!” Rodimus reached out, grasping his hand around Prowl’s. He shook it vigorously, his own spark pounding with excitement. “We’ll go to the fanciest restaurant there is. The most expensive establishment I can find.” Bringing Prowl’s hand up to his lips, Rodimus placed a kiss right on his knuckle. “Everyone’s going to have their optics right on you, eager to see just who’s dating Rodimus Prime himself.”
He pulled away, turning on his heel to walk out the door. “I’ll pick you up tonight, Prowly. I promise you won’t regret it!” With that, he was gone.
Prowl stared at the empty doorway for a few long moments. The weight of his words slowly resting on his shoulders with every little bit of realization.
Dear Primus, he was going to regret this.