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Let's Fall in Love in a Place You Want to Stay

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It was after the fifth time Louis tripped on a tree root that he realised he was well and truly done with the jungle. There was no amount of money in the world that was worth this kind of pain. He was covered in bruises and scratches and a million and one bug bites. And the thing was that he’d spent two hours in hair and makeup before they started the trek to make him look like a wild jungle boy, which was now proving to be totally useless. The branches he’d run into had messed up his hair, and the humid air was making him flushed and sweaty, and all the tripping he’d done had cut up his knees and made him dirty all over. And he was meant to be a model. He’d never felt less attractive.

“Wait up!” he screeched, but no one stopped. He liked to think they just didn’t hear him, but more likely they were all just sick of his whining and wanted to get as far from him as possible. It wasn’t his fucking fault the jungle hated him.

Louis sat on the offending root and pulled out a water bottle from his rucksack, taking a long drink before putting the lid back on. He could still hear the voices of the rest of the crew, so he figured he had a bit of time to fix up his hair and check out his scraped knees.

They were really fucking bloody, and dirty, so he poured out some of his water and rubbed it over, hissing at the slight sting. Maybe if he was allowed to wear his jeans or even trackies, they wouldn’t be hurt so bad. Instead, he was dressed in a fucking fur skirt. They called it a loin cloth, but Louis knew a skirt when he saw one and this was most definitely a skirt. They’d at least given him a loose collared button-up shirt and let him wear his baseball cap for a bit of sun protection, but why they couldn’t have covered his legs too was beyond him. His calves were one of his best features and now they were covered in red welts from fuck-knows what insect.

It was while he was tucking his fringe under his cap to keep his forehead from getting oily that he spotted something in the tree above him.

Something that looked very human.

It was no wonder then that he screamed.

And pushed himself up from the root and started running as fast as he could.

He’d only gone a few steps though before he tripped and everything went black.


Louis woke with a start, sitting up so quick he saw stars behind his eye lids. He lay down when he felt a hand on his chest gently push him back, and sighed when he felt another hand on his forehead.

“You got water?” he croaked.

He felt something hard prod at his lips, so he opened them up. Only instead of the rim of his water bottle being placed between them like he expected, a finger was pushed inside.

“What the fuck?” he spat out, grabbing the rude hand by the wrist to push it away because the digit tasted rank. He heard a grunt, and figured that now would be a really good time to open his eyes.

So he forced them open, blinking slowly so the stars would fade away, and really wished he’d kept them closed and hence blissfully unaware of the predicament he’d found himself in.

There was an unfamiliar guy hovering over him; long brown hair a tangled mess, green eyes wide and blinking slowly, mouth huge and hanging open. Louis just stared, trying to figure out where he may have seen the guy before because this was obviously some kind of fever dream. One of those insects that had bit him must have been poisonous and was currently fucking with his head. Louis’ eyes drifted further down, taking in the man’s tanned dirty skin and hard arms and defined stomach and huge cock.

“Oh shit.” Louis gasped, trying to look back up to the guy’s eyes but failing miserably. He’d never had a dirty dream quite this vivid before. “I better not be sporting a boner when they find me in the jungle.” He muttered, then let out a laugh at his hilarious joke because someone had to. His brain had seemingly been able to conjure up this beautiful guy but didn’t give him any kind of voice or sense of humour; his imagination obviously thought appearance was enough.

Instead of attacking him with kisses like Louis was hoping for, the jungle man fell back on his arse and bent his legs up, resting his chin on his knees. He was just staring, and it was making Louis a little antsy.

 “Are we like, gonna do something?” he asked. For a sex dream, this wasn’t very hot. Usually in his fantasies, he didn’t have to woo the guy first. He wasn’t exactly good at seduction. Or speaking to pretty guys, really.

The man tilted his head, then quick as a snake stuck his finger back in Louis’ mouth.

“Stop that!” Louis screeched, swatting the hand away. “At least wash your hands first. Fuck.”

“Fuck.” The man grunted back, and that had Louis rolling his eyes.

“You just gonna mimic me then?”

The guy tilted his head again, only this time to the right rather than the left, and Louis groaned.

“If we’re gonna fuck then can we get to it already? I don’t know if I want to, if your mouth tastes anything like your finger.”


“Yes, exactly.” Louis sighed, then lent in to press his lips to the jungle man’s. Who wasn’t exactly responsive. His lips just sought of clenched together tighter rather than opened up, and when Louis prodded at them with his tongue the man pulled back with an animalistic growl.

Which sounded terrifyingly real.

And when Louis opened his eyes again, the man’s teeth were bared and his eyebrows were furrowed and his whole demeanour became that much more menacing.

“This isn’t a dream is it?” Louis squeaked, and the man pushed himself up on his knuckles and toes, teeth still bared. Louis scuttled backwards, eyes never leaving the strange gorilla man before him. So he didn’t see that he was getting closer and closer to the edge of a branch of a 40 foot tree.

Louis did notice, though, that the man’s face changed from angry to anxious; how his eyes widened and his mouth turned down. The gorilla man began jumping up and down on the spot, making small whimper-type noises and banging his fists on the bark floor.

Louis hadn’t noticed they were on bark before. Sure, he’d seen the green leaves hanging around them and the branch above him but he hadn’t put two and two together to realise that, fuck, he was in a tree. He looked to the left, saw the huge drop, and screamed.

Then he felt the body of the jungle man crushing him to the floor, his arms and legs wrapping around tight and his face nuzzling into Louis’ neck. He was making little noises again, soft ooos like the baby chimp Louis saw at London Zoo once.

“Holy fuck, you are a monkey man!” Louis shrieked, and the guy looked up from beneath his wild mane and smiled.

“Fuck.” He sighed, then carried on with his nuzzling and purring.

And Louis didn’t really know what to do. He’d been at the brink of death so at that moment a hug felt quite nice, but the fact that the man doing the hugging was a wild jungle creature who reeked of sweat and mud made the whole thing a little unsettling.

The guy seemed harmless enough though. Like, he’d saved Louis from falling out of a tall fucking tree; that was cause enough for a little trust.

“All right jungle man, I’m safe.”

Jungle Man made a few more ooo sounds but wouldn’t get up.

“Sorry I don’t speak ape.” Louis grunted, and wiggled his arms out from beneath Jungle Man so he could push at his chest. He still wouldn’t budge, so Louis put his hands on the guy’s head and lifted it up and away from his neck.

Jungle Man blinked some more, and when Louis gave a small hesitant smile the guy grinned wide and fell back onto his arse. Which meant Louis now had a bit more space to breathe.

“What’s your name, then? I can’t keep calling you Jungle Man.”

Obviously, the guy just blinked back.

“I’m Louis.”

More blinking answered him.

Louis put his hand to his own chest and said again “Louis.”

“Fuck.” Jungle Man said with a grin, and a laugh came bubbling from Louis’ throat.

“No, Louis. Not fuck. Louis.”


“Close enough. What will I call you then?”


“No, that’s me.”


“Fuck’s about right.” Louis groaned.

Jungle Man groaned back, only it came out more like a hum because he was still smiling. He began scratching at himself then, at his chest and throat and chin.

“For a jungle man, you’re not very hairy.” Louis observed. He figured that a man who lived in the wild would have a beard down to the ground, but Jungle Man didn’t seem to have a single hair on his chin or his chest.

“Hairy.” Jungle Man said, but his slow way of speaking and odd accent made it sound like a very familiar name.

“All right, I’m gonna call you Harry. I’m Lou.” Louis put a hand to his chest again, and then touched Jungle Man’s. “Harry.”

“Harry.” Jungle Man said, putting his hand on top of Louis’ to keep it pressed against his skin. “Lou.” He added with a sharp shake of his head. Louis decided to take that as a nod. “Fuck.”

Louis blushed. “Maybe later. I think we need to get clean first. And I’m hungry.”

“Lou. Harry. Fuck.” Harry repeated with some more blinking and smiling. He did look good doing it, but some other kind of response would be nice.

Words obviously weren’t of much use, so Louis slowly stood and watched as Harry followed him up. Then he slowly wobbled his way over to the trunk, gripped on tight, and looked down to his side. His stomach rolled as he said “Fucking hell.”


 “How the fuck did you get us up here? Can you carry me back down?”


“It’s not cute anymore!” Louis panicked.

“Lou.” Harry said slowly, and fitted his hands on Louis’ waist.

Louis spun around and wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and hoisted himself up to wrap his legs around his hips. “Go down.” He demanded, and Harry just stared. Louis shimmied his way around Harry’s body until he was clinging on to his back. Then he began pointing down and pressing his heels into Harry’s stomach. “Climb down. I need to find my rucksack. I’ve got snacks in there, and water.”


“Yes, Harry, I’m Louis. Now go down, go on! Climb!”

Miraculously, Harry got the hint. He clung on to the tree trunk and started hoisting them down at such a fast pace that Louis thought he was most definitely going to be sick. This guy had to have sticky hands or some shit because it was unnatural the way he was climbing. Inhuman, really.

Louis didn’t open his eyes until they were safely on the ground, and when he felt hard earth beneath his feet he could have cried.

“Oh thank fuck.” Louis groaned, and Harry smiled wide. “Yes, Harry, you did good. Congratulations.” He added with a roll of his eyes, and Harry just smiled wider.

“Fuck Harry.”

“Just stop already, and help me find my bag, yeah?”


Harry really wasn’t any help, which Louis should have expected. The jungle man just followed the city boy around, copying the way he walked and occasionally his facial expressions. Sometimes Louis even heard the other man mimic his words, too, but mainly he’d just make monkey-like noises.

So Louis walked through the jungle, hoping that something would look familiar and help him find his way back to the group. Surely he hadn’t been gone for more than an hour. The sun didn’t seem much higher in the sky then he’d noticed before the blackout, and the crew should have stopped when they noticed their male model was missing and began to search.

But Louis’ stomach was grumbling like he hadn’t eaten in days, and his mouth felt powdery with how thirsty he was.

It was why he screamed out in relief and began jumping up and down on the spot when they stumbled upon a lake.

“Fuck yes.” He dropped to his knees and scooped up some water in his hands, lifting them up to his lips but was stopped by a sudden shriek. His hands were slapped so the water spilt everywhere, as if the noise hadn’t been enough of a warning. “I get it. What can I drink then?” Louis grumbled, and Harry picked Louis up and threw him over his shoulder.

And began to run.

The ground was flying by in a blur beneath Louis, who was clinging on to Harry’s waist, nails digging in to the skin as if it would strengthen his grip. He’d had enough near death encounters today, and Louis didn’t want this to be the way he’d go; dropped on his head by a fast jungle man as they raced to find water.

It would probably be better than dying of thirst, Louis reasoned. Quicker, anyway.

Harry didn’t even stop when he got to drinkable water. He just ran right through a waterfall, then turned around and ran through it again.

After about the fourth time, he finally put Louis down into the stream and turned back to lap at the water as it fell.

“Christ Harry!” Louis grunted, pushing himself up with one hand and wiping water out of his eyes with the other. “You couldn’t have set me down on the bank?”

Harry ooo oooed in reply, and Louis looked at him to tell him off some more. Only the words were caught in his throat because water was running down Harry’s tanned muscular back and perky arse and hard thighs.

“Oh fucking hell!”

“Fuck!” Harry cheerily cried, and just had to turn around to grin at Louis, showing off more skin that was wet and slippery and beautiful. Then he jumped out from the waterfall and dragged Louis underneath it, looking up and opening his mouth and poking out his tongue to catch water drops. He looked at Louis, then grabbed his jaw and pulled it down so Louis’ mouth was open. Harry stuck out his tongue, caught some water, then looked back at Louis with a grin.

“I know how to drink.” Louis grunted, and stuck out his hands to catch water in his palms so he could do something other than ogle the jungle man’s tongue and wonder how good it was at lapping other things. Like arseholes.

When they had drunk enough water and were sufficiently clean, Harry made to pick Louis up but the city boy stepped back.

“I want to walk, yeah?”

Harry tried again, and Louis pushed his hands away.

“Walk, see?” He said, and took a few steps.

Harry oooed in a panicky voice and wrapped his arms around Louis’ chest so he’d stop moving.

“I’m not going away from you, calm down, Harry.”

“Lou Harry.” Harry groaned into his neck, and Louis shivered at the feel of breath on his wet skin. Because yeah, it was pretty hot what with Harry being naked and dripping, but the jungle was getting pretty damn cold.

“It’s fine bud, I’m not gonna leave you. We need to keep searching for my group though.” Louis tried to reassure him. But words were clearly no use because Harry wouldn’t let go. “Its getting late, right? And I’m hungry. I need food. You know, food?”

Louis acted out eating, and Harry just smiled. Then he copied Louis’ movements and let out a squawky laugh. Louis dropped his hands and sighed, and Harry did the same. Then laughed, and Louis couldn’t help but smile. As annoying as it was not to be understood, Harry was being impossibly cute. Plus, he was clean now. Maybe they could try kissing again, now that Harry kind of knew him and all.

Before Louis could make any moves, Harry pushed him.

“What the fuck was that for?”

“Ooo.” Harry replied, and pushed him again so hard he stumbled back.

“Oi!” Louis grunted, which earned him another push. “Just lay off, all right?”

This time, instead of shoving, Harry put his hands on Louis’ shoulders to turn him around, then gently nudged him forward.

“You want me to go this way?” Louis asked, following up the question with a few steps in the direction he was facing.

Harry squawked happily and joined Louis at his side, walking along with a huge grin on his face.

“You didn’t have to shove me though.” Louis grunted, and Harry just carried on smiling.

They walked for ages, through more and more shrubs and streams and overhanging branches. Harry protested with little jibbers every time Louis tripped, and would always reach out to pick Louis up, but he’d never get far. Louis would always pick himself up and slap Harry’s hands away. He didn’t want to be carried like some fucking princess. He wanted to show that he could survive the jungle just fine without needing any of Harry’s pampering.

But when he heard a loud inhuman shriek, Louis jumped up into Harry’s arms with absolutely no shame whatsoever.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Fuck.” Harry said, and Louis nodded like what Harry said was answer enough.

Surely Harry dealt with wild animals all the time. He survived alone in a jungle for fuck’s sake, he would be used to this shit.

“Are you gonna go kill it or something? Maybe we should run away.” Louis muttered, and then cringed back when he heard another cry.

Harry started walking, and Louis thrashed in his arms.

“You aren’t fucking serious. You can’t bring me closer to that thing! It sounds carnivorous!” Then some more shrieking and howling started, and Louis wiggled with a new fervour. “There’s loads of them! What the fuck Harry, turn around!”

Harry let out soft ooos that were probably meant to be reassuring as he walked closer and closer to the noise.

“Harry?” Louis panicked, and the boy just kept on going. “Please, please stop. I’m begging you.”

“Lou.” Harry purred over the screeching of whatever wild animals they were. The animals he was still fucking approaching.

Just as Louis’ heart made it all the way up to his throat, Harry let out a huge gorilla-like screech and the animals went silent.

Then a monkey popped out from behind a tree and jumped up onto Harry’s shoulder.

Then another one onto his head, and another in Louis’ lap.

“Gross!” Louis shrieked, and pushed it away from him.

Harry dropped Louis with a growl, and turned his attention back to the monkeys that were gathering around them. He was hugging them and cooing at them and Louis wondered if he understood them. Louis was grinning by the time another monkey tried to climb into his lap, so this time he let it. It stunk a bit, but it was sort of cute. Really cute, actually. He gave it a little scratch behind the ear like he would a cat, and the little monkey jumped up and onto his shoulders, tail curling around to tickle at his neck.

“Look, Harry! A monkey likes me, see?” Louis said, and made sure to wear his prettiest grin when Harry turned back to him. The jungle man was still frowning, but his eyes had softened a bit. Louis smiled wider, and kept on smiling until Harry did the same.

It was easy enough getting back on Harry’s good side, but he definitely wanted to stay there so when the jungle man started walking, Louis followed close behind without hesitation. Even though they were going in the direction of the wild animals.

Louis wasn’t stupid. He knew that the noises he’d heard had been from something much louder than tiny monkeys and he was going to find out exactly what had been screeching and howling.

It had been a big group of gorillas. Giant ones, with sharp teeth and cold hard beady eyes that were all fixed on Louis as he followed Harry into the clearing.

Harry started walking forwards then, and Louis whisper-shouted “Stop!”

But it was no use. He kept on going, making the gap between he and Louis larger and larger. The city boy didn’t know what to do. He didn’t like being totally alone, but he didn’t exactly want to get any closer to those things.

“Lou!” Harry shouted with a grin, and one of the gorillas screeched, making Louis jump about a foot.

Louis was shaking all over when the gorilla started clambering closer to him. He opened his mouth to say something, or scream maybe, but the words were caught in his throat.

Harry was oooing at the other gorillas, and either he didn’t notice that one was a few feet away from Louis or he didn’t really care.

When the gorilla lifted up an arm and started reaching out for Louis with its paw, Louis got a burst of adrenaline and ran for Harry and leaped on to his back, clinging for dear life.

The sudden movement set all the gorillas off; they jumped up and down and screeched into the air, and the one that had been reaching for Louis seemed the maddest. It wasn’t making noise though. It was flaring its nostrils and banging its paws on the ground, and it must have been about to charge or something because Harry was turning to face it so that Louis was no longer in its line of sight.

Harry growled then, and the angry gorilla snorted back. “Lou” Harry said amongst his reassuring ooos, which had Louis’ ears pricking. Was Harry honestly speaking to that thing? Was that even possible, for a human to speak gorilla?

Harry banged his fists on the ground a few times, and when he leant down Louis almost tumbled over his head. With a final ooo, the other gorillas went back to whatever it was they were doing before Louis had shown up, while the big angry one snorted and sat back on his arse, still staring at the humans.

Harry approached it, and Louis dug his nails in to the other boy’s skin, trying to make him stop.

“Harry?” Louis muttered into his ear, not knowing how else to stop him. “Fuck?”

“Lou fuck.” Harry replied. At least he was listening, Louis supposed, even if he wasn’t quite understanding.

He stopped before the big gorilla and began oooing to it, jabbering away in his monkey language.

The gorilla grunted back, and reached out to pull Harry closer. Louis sucked in a breath when the gorilla began sniffing him, and restrained himself from crying out when the animal prodded him in the back.

“Lou.” Harry said, and the gorilla began to pull at Louis’ shirt. Louis clung onto Harry’s shoulders, tightening the grip Louis’ legs had on Harry’s waist. The gorilla was trying to pull Louis off him, and the city boy wasn’t having any of it.

“Harry?” Louis stuttered, and the jungle man tittered reassuringly and pushed Louis off his back and into the gorilla’s lap.

Louis felt three seconds away from shitting his pants.

He was sitting on a gorilla, who’d been ready to kill him only a few minutes ago, and the creature was searching through his hair.

Later, he’d feel a little offended at the insinuation that he could have nits, but right then he was trying his hardest not to breathe or speak or puke all over his own legs.

“Lou.” He heard, and he looked up from his knees to find Harry staring at him with a grin. “Fuck.”

Louis nodded shortly, and immediately stilled again when he felt the gorilla’s breath on his neck.

With another snort, the gorilla was pushing Louis out of its lap and walking back to the rest of the gorillas. Louis rushed to Harry, clinging on to his waist tightly, grateful when the jungle man wrapped his own arms around Louis’ back to pull him into a tight hug. Louis wondered for a moment if gorillas hugged too, or if Harry knew more about being human than he was letting on. Maybe hugging was just natural human instinct? He wasn’t able to ponder it much longer because Harry was picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder and jumping up on to the nearest tree.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Louis groaned, because Harry was climbing again. “I want to be on ground, Harry, not up in fucking trees.”

Harry grunted a reply, and just kept on pulling them up. Louis could only watch as the ground grew further and further away the higher Harry climbed, and it was making him queasy. The only thing keeping him up there was Harry’s hand holding on to his thighs, so he shut his eyes and hoped they’d reach their destination soon.

Even when he felt Harry drop him onto a hard, completely flat surface he couldn’t open his eyes.

“Lou Lou.” Harry said as he poked him, and Louis shook his head. The movement made him feel dizzy, and he scrunched his eyes tighter. “Looooou.” Harry cooed, nudging him again. Then he grew impatient, and started trying to force his eyes open.

So Louis pushed Harry’s big hand away and blinked a few times. He looked up so that he wouldn’t look down, and saw to his surprise a roof. He turned around, and realised that he was in a house.

“What the fuck?” Louis grunted, jumping up and running to a window. He looked down to see that, yep, they were in a tree-house. “Harry, what the fuck?”

“Fuck!” Harry giggled, and jumped on top of an old dirty sofa. There was a wooden table and a desk and a few cupboards and sets of draws. There was a double bed and a crib in one corner, with dusty faded sheets and torn-apart feather pillows. Beside that was a dresser and cracked mirror, and when Harry noticed that Louis was looking in that direction he climbed off the sofa and grabbed Louis’ hand and dragged him over to the open wardrobe.

He picked out a button shirt that had been hanging inside it, and held it against his own chest.

“Harry Lou.” He murmured, and Louis nodded.

“That’s right. We’re the same. Human.” He said, putting a hand to Harry’s chest. “Human.” He repeated, and Harry mimicked his nodding. “I’ve got to find my people, Harry. Other humans like us. Can you remember them?”

But it was no use. Harry just kept looking from Louis’ shirt to the one in his own hands. He dropped it suddenly, and walked over to the crib. “Harry.”

“This was yours?” Louis asked, touching the wood lightly. “Harry’s?”

“Harry’s.” he repeated, and then sat on the bed beside it.

Louis just looked around him for a moment, trying to put together a picture of what could possibly have happened. What happened to his parents? And how did Harry survive the jungle when they left? What were they doing living in a fucking treehouse in the first place?

He rifled through the draws and cupboards, putting all the pictures and notebooks and journals he came across in a pile. He found a satchel in the wardrobe and stuffed them all inside, slinging it over his shoulder and walking back to Harry.

“I need to find my friends. We need to find them so we can go home. Like, to civilisation, yeah?” Louis said, and Harry stood up. For a second, Louis thought Harry understood. Disappointed wouldn’t really be the right word to describe what Louis felt when the jungle man hugged him instead of answering him. Maybe because it was answer enough.


Louis thought the dizziness would go away when they got back onto solid ground, but his head was still spinning and his vision was blurring. His stomach rumbled loudly, and Louis put a hand to his tummy as if it would stop it.

“Don’t you ever eat?” Louis grunted, and Harry just blinked at him. Then he had another go at miming eating, but Harry just blinked some more. “Am I going to have to almost poison myself again for you to understand?” he snapped, and realised that wasn’t such a bad idea.

There was a bush with bright red berries a few feet away, so Louis picked a few of the most-likely-poisonous fruits and slowly brought them up to his lips. As expected, Harry’s hand swung out to swipe them away.

Harry oooed with a frown on his face, looking somewhat disappointed in him.

“I’m hungry!” Louis snapped, and because Harry wasn’t running off to grab him something to eat he grabbed a few more berries off the bush.

Harry’s jabbers were definitely angry as he gripped Louis’ wrist and shook it until his hand was emptied. He kept hold of it and dragged Louis over to the band of gorillas who were lounging about in shrubbery. A few of them were eating bananas, and when Harry oooed at them one passed a small bunch of the fruit over.

Louis began peeling his straight away, then took a bite before Harry had even started on his.

Harry was just watching Louis with a little frown, lips tight and eyes creased. Then his hand grabbed Louis’ banana and spun it so it was upside down.

“Ooo.” Harry said, then began to peel his own banana from the bottom.

“No, Harry, wrong way!”

“Ooo.” Harry said again, and put the banana in his mouth, smiling around it. He was just staring at Louis, right in his eyes, sucking on a banana.

Louis coughed, and had to remind himself that Harry wasn’t meaning to be incredibly suggestive. He didn’t even know what blow jobs were.

“You don’t look people in the eyes when you eat bananas.” Louis said, because if Harry was going back to London with him then he better start learning life’s lessons. “It’s rude.”

Harry smiled and pushed another banana into Louis’ hands.

He ate four of them before he felt a bit sick. He needed something substantial, and while the fruit was filling his belly a little it wasn’t quite enough.

“I’ve got to find my friends, Harry. Humans, remember?” Louis asked, pointing between the two of them. “You have to take me back to them.” He pointed out to the forest around them, somewhere off in the distance, hoping Harry could somehow make sense of it.

He oooed at Louis, then went back to his gorilla pals and oooed at them. One by one, they all got up and began ambling in the direction Harry and Louis had come from, the biggest one in the lead. Harry beckoned Louis to him, and they began to follow the gorillas through the jungle.

Louis couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on. A part of him still thought this was a dream. He was following giant gorillas through a jungle with a wild man by his side, in search of his photographer and co-models.

At least he hoped that’s what they were all doing, looking for his friends, because otherwise he was most definitely fucked.

When Harry hoisted Louis up onto his back, the city boy didn’t even put up a fuss. He was actually beginning to like being carried around, especially since his legs were killing him and his trainers were getting torn up and dirty. Plus, Harry’s arms were wrapped around Louis’ thighs and his hands were gripping his calves so it was all quite nice, really.

They walked on and on, and the jungle was getting colder and darker.

Just as Louis was about to panic, he heard some voices.

“Do you hear that?” someone said, and Louis recognised the gruff voice as the photographer’s. “That rustling coming from over there. See the bushes moving?” Then he screamed, obviously not expecting a giant gorilla and its friends to come storming out from behind the trees.

“It’s me!” Louis shouted, climbing off Harry and rushing towards the group of people. They were all there; the photographer, the two other female models, the guide and two stylists. None of them looked particularly happy to see him. “Did you even look for me?”

That had the photographer looking guilty. He was still more scared than anything else, though. “Louis, what the fuck is going on?”

“Incredible.” said the guide, staring at the gorillas, and Louis turned to him.

“Isn’t it your job to look out for us out here? You just left me in the jungle?”

“We were looking for you! We couldn’t find you and there was no trace of how you disappeared. It was like you flew away. There were no prints apart from another human's!”

“That would be Harry. He must have carried me in the trees the whole time.” Louis muttered the second bit mostly to himself. He heard gasps, and realised that Harry had finally come out from behind his ape family. “This is Harry, he’s been – taking care of me, I guess.”

“He’s gorgeous!” the photographer shrieked, and began to snap pictures.

“No, fuck off. This photoshoot is off. I need to get out of this jungle right the fuck now.” Louis snarled at the photographer, and Harry began snarling too. He pulled Louis behind him and growled as if the man was a threat to them, obviously bothered that Louis was bothered.

“Who is he?” one of the models asked a little wistfully, and Louis decided he didn’t like her either.

“He’s Harry, my jungle man. Now someone show us back to camp right the fuck now. I need to eat and sleep and then I am flying right back to London.”

“And Harry?” the guide asked.

“He’s coming with us.”

“Just hold on one second Louis Tomlinson!” the photographer snapped, just as Louis was about to make a dramatic exit from the clearing. It might have been a blessing in disguise, though, because more than likely he would have been heading in the wrong direction and that would have just been awkward. “We’ve flown to the Congo for this shoot, so already everyone in fashion is talking about it, and we are surrounded by wild gorillas. When the story breaks that you got lost in a jungle and found a hot wild man who was raised by apes do you really want to have nothing to show for it? No photos? Because let me tell you, once this story breaks, and it will, people will be willing to pay top dollar to have these photos in their magazine. You’ll be the most talked about model in the entire world. You’re big now, sure, but you haven’t broken the US or Japan. You aren’t global. You want to be global, right?”

And that had Louis momentarily silent. He hadn’t exactly thought about that, about the after of all this. He had been incredibly lucky to score this gig, and if he was willing to fly eight and a half hours to the Democratic Republic of Congo for it then it wouldn’t exactly be career-smart of him to throw the opportunity away.

So he sighed and stepped out from behind Harry. “Where do you want me then?”

Which is when a stylist stepped forward and ushered him to her. “With us, love. You’re a mess.”

Louis sighed again, a little more dramatically this time, and made his way over to the man and lady who most surely didn’t have enough makeup and hair spray to fix him up. His hair had gone fuzzy from when he got it wet, and the bruises and bites and welts had multiplied tenfold. He had cuts and scratches on his face, he was covered in grime and sweat, and all he wanted to do was take a shower and eat a sandwich and sleep for at least ten days. He wasn’t exactly going to be at his best, but that was what Photoshop was for, right?

Harry began whimpering as soon as Louis left his side, jabbering in his apish way. It set the other gorillas off; they all began screeching and jumping up and down the more stressed Harry got.

“Calm them down, will you? We need them settled for the shoot.”

The guide looked to the photographer and said “You’re not seriously considering doing a fashion shoot with wild animals, are you? That is incredibly dangerous!”

The photographer snorted and said “As far as I see it, Louis’ jungle man has them tamed. If Louis can control his jungle man, then the monkeys will be on our side.”

Before Louis could rush over to comfort Harry, the hair stylist pulled him down onto a tree stump and began combing out his hair. Louis plastered on a smile and waved Harry over, and amazingly enough the man got the hint and approached him. He did so hesitantly, eyeing the humans with trepidation and confusion, then settled on the stump at his side.

“Harry’s Lou.” Harry grunted, putting a hand on his thigh and looking up to watch what the hair stylist was doing.

“Yeah, and Lou’s Harry. We’re fine. Good, even.” Louis reassured him, patting the hand that was on his leg and trying terribly hard to hide the excitement he was feeling at how territorial Harry was over him. He’d never found control hot. It had always pissed him off when guys got all demanding, wanting to know where he was and who he was with all the time. But this felt different. Maybe because Harry was being protective and concerned for him rather than jealous and possessive. Or maybe it was because Louis felt the exact same way back; worried for Harry and his safety and his feelings. He had to be shit-scared right now, meeting so many people like him in one day. What was going on inside his head?

Nothing too existential, Louis realised when Harry stood up to watch the stylist’s hands closely. The man had combed out all of Louis’ knots and was putting a mousse through to de-frizz it a bit when Harry pushed the guy’s hands away to pick at Louis’ hair himself. It felt like he was looking through it, probably searching out nits like the big gorilla had done, when the stylist nudged him out of the way.

“I’m trying to do my job!” the guy snapped, and Harry bared his teeth and growled.

“Harry? It’s fine, yeah? Good.” Louis said, and patted the spot next to him.

“Good.” Harry repeated, but didn’t sit down. He continued to watch the stylist, every now and then touching Louis’ hair and hissing when his hands were shoved aside. It meant his hair was taking a lot longer than it should have, so the makeup woman began to work at the same time. Which gave Harry something new to look at.

The woman first wiped Louis’ face over with a wet wipe, then put on some moisturiser and primer, and Harry was mesmerised. She pulled out some foundation and concealer and her brushes and set to work.

If the hair stylist had found Harry annoying, the makeup stylist was finding him positively insufferable.

He would snatch the brushes from her hands to touch them to his own face, he’d wipe his grubby fingers over Louis’ skin and squeal with delight when the foundation stained his skin, and he’d occasionally push her hands away when he thought she was being too rough.

“I thought you could control him.” She muttered to herself, and that made Louis frown.

“He’s never seen this stuff before. He’s probably never even seen humans. Think about that for a second, will you, and get off your fucking pedestal.”

She just tightened her lips and carried on with her work, dabbing on some bronzer and blusher then colouring in his eyebrows.

Harry oooed in fascination, taking the eyebrow pencil from her hands and sticking it in his mouth. He spat it out and threw it into a bush, and the lady just blinked at him but didn’t say anything. Well she muttered “That was Chanel” but only Louis heard it.

“You’re done.” Said the hair guy, and the make-up woman nodded her agreement.

“You’ve got to get out of that shirt though. And that skirt is looking a little grubby.” The photographer said.

“I fucking knew it was a skirt.” Louis grunted to himself as he unbuttoned the shirt while simultaneously trying not to blush at how Harry was watching him.

“Harry Lou.” Harry said with a grin, and grabbed one of Louis’ nipples.

“Owe! Fuck! Yes, Harry, I’ve got them too. Shit.”

“Fuck!” Harry chirped, and made to grab the other one but Louis stopped him.

Then he looked to the photographer and asked “What do I do about the skirt?”

“Take it off. Jungle men clearly don’t wear clothes.” He said with a wave to Harry. “We’ll cover you up with something else. Leaves, maybe.”

Louis nodded, playing with the waistband of his skirt as he tried to summon up the courage to pull it off. He wasn’t exactly shy, but he wasn’t exactly comfortable being naked in the presence of strangers either.

“For art.” The photographer said.

“Must be your lucky day, seeing two cocks for free.” Louis grunted, and stepped out of his skirt. Before he could cover himself up with his hands, Harry oooed excitedly and made a grab for him. Louis stepped back just in time. “Harry! You can’t do that! Even in the monkey world I’m sure that’s inappropriate!” he near-shouted, more flustered than angry.

“It most definitely is my lucky day!” the photographer laughed, and Louis had never wanted to stab someone’s neck as badly as he did just then.

“Let’s get to it then.” Louis grunted, making his way over to the models who didn’t seem at all phased. They were professionals, after all. Still, would have been nice if they checked him out like they were Harry.

“We’re gonna need you all over there with the gorillas.” The photographer said, waving his hands about in the general vicinity of the apes. Who were all lazing about on the grass or hiding in bushes, or hanging off branches or climbing over logs. “Do you think you could climb on top of one?”

“What?” Louis snapped, stopping mid-walk to the gorillas. “No fucking way! These things tried to kill me before!” It wasn’t exactly an overstatement. The big one came pretty close to taking his head off.

“They kill?” one of the girl models asked, and began hyperventilating. “I’m not going near those things if they kill!”

“It might be best not to touch them.” The guide added, and everyone took a step back.

Everyone except the photographer, who was quite obviously blinded by the perfect picture he had in his mind. “You can still get in front of them, so that they’re in the shot, right?”

The girls shook their heads, and Louis looked to Harry. Who was just staring at him with tight lips, fists clenched by his sides. “You good Harry?”

“Lou.” Was all he said, and held out his arms for Louis to walk into.

So he did, trying his hardest to keep a bit of space between their hips because fuck they were both naked while simultaneously shuffling them closer to one of the apes.

The gorilla didn’t seem at all bothered by how close Louis was getting to it. He just continued chewing whatever it was that was in his mouth as he followed them with his eyes. Then Louis began reaching out to it with his hand, right to its nose so that it could sniff him. He’d learnt from his auntie that you should do that to dogs when you meet them so they could take in your scent, fist closed so they couldn’t get at your fingers if they desired, but clearly that wasn’t what you were meant to do for gorillas.

It took hold of his wrist and before Louis even had time to panic it wrenched him into its lap.

“Get Harry out of the shot.” The photographer hissed, so Louis waved Harry away while the gorilla began searching through his hair.

Harry wasn’t moving though, he was just watching Louis with his head tilted.

“Harry!” the makeup stylist cooed, holding out her makeup brushes, and Harry rushed over to her with a squeak of delight.

“Get in there!” the photographer snapped at the models.

“No. This wasn’t in the contract. I don’t do shoots with animals.” one of them said, and the other nodded. It was fair enough, really, Louis decided while the gorilla snorted into the back of his head.

“You can’t take a photograph for Hugo Boss cologne without there being women in it! That’s the whole reason you two are even here! You don’t have to touch the monkeys, just get in the shot!” The photographer was red with how livid he was, and the models inched forward.

“We don’t have to touch them?” the first asked.

“No! Just get in there before the big monkey gets bored of Louis’ hair!”

The models finally got in the shot, one sitting on a log to the side of Louis and the other spreading herself out on the ground.

“Beautiful!” the photographer shouted, and began snapping pictures.

Louis set himself to work, smouldering into the lens. He couldn’t exactly do much with his body, what with the way he was sitting cross legged in the lap of a giant potentially-murderous gorilla getting his hair thoroughly searched for the third time that day, so he tried to put everything into his expression.

He heard some of the gorillas begin to shuffle around them, and as tempted as he was to have a look at what they were doing, he didn’t. He stayed professional.

He did zone out for a moment when the gorilla’s hands that had been in his hair stopped moving though. It pushed him out of its lap and stood up on his back legs, and Louis had to be told to look to the camera. So Louis did, and smouldered a bit more, and tried to position his body so his biceps and chest and abs looked the best they possibly could. All the while, the ape just hovered over him, looking around itself and the humans that were all holding in a collective breath.

Louis could tell by the look on the photographer’s face when he got the perfect shot. He looked absolutely delighted, and close to actual tears of happiness.

“That’s it. We’re done.” He announced, and all three models couldn’t have got away from the gorillas quick enough.

“I want to see it.” Louis said, and the women nodded their assent.

So the photographer wistfully held out the camera to them, hands still gripping it tight as he turned it around so they could see the little screen.

It was stunning. There was no other word for it.

Louis’ stomach grumbled then, and everyone looked to him. “I haven’t eaten anything but bananas all day.”

“We really should head back. It’s going to get dark soon.” The guide offered up, and everyone was quick to pack up their things. No one wanted to find out how the jungle was at night.

Louis finally got to look at Harry, who was watching the commotion with his little confused head tilt.

“We’re going now, Harry. You’re coming, right?” Louis asked, and Harry snapped his head to look at him.

He grinned and walked over to Louis, arms outstretched again.

“You’re a cuddly fucker.” Louis snorted into Harry’s shoulder. Not that he was complaining, even if Harry was already beginning to smell a bit musky. If anything, the scent was hot. Which reminded him. “I’m going to need some clothes!”

The hair stylist ran to him with the button up he’d been wearing before, and Louis really didn’t want to put it back on. It was so dirty and wet and smelly that he was tempted just to forgo clothes all together, but there were a lot more people at the camp and Louis didn’t exactly want everyone to see him naked.

“What about Harry?”

The guide eyed them slowly, and asked “Do you really think it would be a good idea to bring him to the camp with us? We have no idea about his temperament.”

“If he kills anyone I’ll eat my hat.” Louis snorted. “Speaking of which, did I lose that to?”

“It was with your pack. Must have fell off when Wild Boy got you.” The makeup stylist said, pulling his Louisville cap out of his rucksack.

He snatched it out of her hands as he muttered “His name is Harry” and put it back on his head.

“Lou.” Harry said with a giggle, and poked him in the chest.

“So we’re going now, yeah? We’re going to spend the night at camp and fly out tomorrow. You’re going to come, right? Stay with Lou?”

“Harry Lou.” Harry said. “Good.” He added, and Louis grinned. Until Harry threw him over his shoulder and walked back to the gorillas.

“No! No, Harry! We’re going with the humans, okay? Louis’ people?”

“Harry’s Lou.”

Louis hit at Harry’s back until he got the message and put him down. Then Louis hurried over to where his group was gathered, and told them to go. As they began to follow the guide from the clearing, Louis waved Harry over. “I’m going with them! See?”

Louis went after them, and Harry started ooo oooing. He looked terrified, and confused, and it took Louis all his strength to stop himself from running back to Harry and calming him down.

“Come on! Lou’s Harry, yeah?” he asked hopefully.

Harry looked to him, then back to his gorilla family who were going the opposite way. Fuck, but his expression was heartbreaking. Like he wanted to tear himself in two so he could go both ways.

Louis almost felt guilty for forcing Harry to make that choice, but he knew it was best. Harry was human. His place was amongst the rest of them. And he said it himself, he was Louis’ Harry. He belonged with Louis now.


The plane ride had been hell. Pure and utter hell.

Louis should have predicted that to someone who hadn’t seen an airport before, or buildings or cars or shops or fucking everything Louis had grown up with, the place would be fascinating.

First, they had the taxi ride to Kinshasa Airport, which Harry couldn’t quite sit still in. He hung out the window and flailed his arms around, and the driver wasn’t having it. He’d pulled over a few times to tell him off, and had come incredibly close to kicking them all out, but they offered him a lot of money to carry on driving so he did. He wasn’t happy about it though.

Then when they got to the airport, Harry leapt out of the car as soon as the doors were opened, and Louis had to run after him. He wasn’t exactly the fittest man in the world, and Harry was all muscle, so it was lucky that Harry passed something he found intriguing and had to stop to look at it. It was a mirror, and Louis had learnt quickly that Harry had loved those. He’d found out as soon as they got to the camp the evening before, when Louis was putting a face mask on and Harry stole the mirror from him. He wouldn’t give it back, and when Louis tried to take it from him, the jungle man climbed a high tree and just stayed there with it for a good hour at least.

And it’s not like he hadn’t seen his reflection before. He would surely have looked into a lake and seen himself, so what had him so enraptured?

Louis stood with Harry at the mirror in the airport, hoping the rest of the crew would hurry up because this place was known to be pretty dangerous and it’s not like he had anything to protect himself with. Well, he had Harry, but he didn’t exactly know what every day threats were. He would probably be able to take down a tiger, but could he stop a pickpocket after their wallets? They’d be fucked without their passports.

“Oh fuck!” Louis shouted, and Harry stopped looking at himself for a moment to give Louis a little confused frown. “You don’t have a fucking passport!”

That was when the rest of the crew showed up with all of their bags strapped into trolleys, safe and secure.

“What’s wrong?” his manager asked him, her face tight with concern.

“How the fuck are we going to get him out of the country! He doesn’t have any kind of ID!”

And she grinned. “You only just considered that?” His eyes narrowed; she was looking awfully smug. It turned out, though, that she had the right to be. “I’ve already called ahead and sorted something out. I’ve got a letter from the Consulate to let him through.

“How did you manage that?”

Her smile faltered a little but didn’t drop. “I had to promise some people a few things. We’ll worry about that when we come to it, okay? For now let’s just get him on the plane.”

Louis opened his mouth, about to ask what the exact deal was that she made, but the cameraman pushed between them, rattling off about the time and how little of it they had.

“We still have to get through customs!” he reminded them, and that sobered Louis up a bit.

He took Harry’s hand in his and pulled him along after the rest of the crew.

They made it through relatively easy, only needing to wait a bit for border security to make a few calls about Harry’s letter, and stopping again when Harry spotted a vending machine and became hypnotised by the little shiny cans of cola and bright packets of crisps. Louis couldn’t even imagine what was going through his head.

He wouldn’t sit still in the waiting area, constantly standing up to follow whoever walked past them, trying to make conversation with fuck and Harry and ooos, so Louis decided to take him for a bit of a walk. There wasn’t much to look at in the airport, only a few coffee carts and a bare souvenir shop, so Louis found another mirror and let Harry entertain himself with it. He watched to see what it was exactly that had Harry so enthralled, and he got a bit of an idea. Harry paid special attention to his face and his neck and his collarbones that were peeking out from the gap in his plaid shirt, one that existed because he refused to wear his shirt buttoned up all the way.

Harry would touch them, then the reflection of them, then jabber to himself with his little monkey noises.

“What is it Harry?” Louis asked, and Harry looked to him and jabbered some more. “I don’t speak monkey, you know that.”

Harry frowned, then twisted his mouth up to the side, then poked Louis’ collarbones. He touched his own, and said “Human.”

It was the only word he’d picked up, apart from good and fuck and their names. Louis had tried practising some with him the night before, like yes and no, but the man hadn’t really caught on. He could say them, sure, but he didn’t know how to use them. “We’re human, yeah.” Louis nodded, and Harry frowned harder before looking back to his reflection.

“Human.” He said, pointing to his nose. “Human.” He repeated, and touched a finger to his lips. Then he wrapped his hand lightly around his neck and murmured “Human.”

And it was Louis’ turn to frown. Then it clicked. “Gorillas don’t have them like you, huh? Like us?”

“Like us.” He mimicked, though Louis couldn’t really be sure if he understood.

“Is that what you’re looking at all the time? The ways you’re different to them and the same as me?” Louis asked, but Harry just continued to stare at himself, fingers tracing his collarbones. “Must be so fucking weird.” He muttered to himself, and looked around them. “Everything’s so new to you, even yourself.”

They stayed there until their flight was called, and Louis didn’t have to try all that hard to pull Harry away from his own reflection.

Luckily, there weren’t many people flying from the Congo to France, so they were able to book seats away from the majority of the other passengers. The closest were a few rows in front of them, a mother and her three small children, and Louis just hoped Harry wouldn’t set them off because there was no sound worse to him then kids’ crying.

Harry sat still in his seat, happily watching the air hosts and hostesses rushing through the aisles to get everything sorted. Every time the intercom would come to life with a ping, Harry would squeal with delight and jabber over whatever the pilot was saying. It meant Louis didn’t hear a single thing, but he didn’t mind; Harry was making him laugh.

The seatbelt lights flashed on, and Louis did up his own and Harry’s, and then the air hostesses got into position to begin the safety spiel.

As they did it, the plane began backing up, and Harry watched with amazement as they moved along the runway. He tapped at the window, getting frustrated that he couldn’t open it, earning him funny looks from the host that was closest to them.

Finally they were done, and the flight attendants took to their seats, and the plane started to increase in speed. It began to shake, and Harry’s jabbers became more frantic until he was muttering “Lou. Fuck, Lou, fuck” and Louis would have laughed if Harry didn’t look so petrified.

When the plane left the ground, and the rumbling sounded, things took a turn for the worst.

First, Harry grabbed Louis’ wrist so tight it felt like his circulation was being cut off. It probably was; his hand reddened quick.

“Owe, fuck! Harry, its fine. You’re safe, okay? Just sit still.”

“Lou Lou Lou.” Harry repeated like it was a mantra, eyes wide and borderline manic. Then he let Louis go and tried to stand up, but his seatbelt didn’t let him get far. He began tugging at it, clawing at the metal clasp, trying to set himself free. “Lou Lou?” he questioned, looking so frightened that Louis felt guilty.

“It’s good. Lous’ Harry, yeah? I wouldn’t put you in danger. Harry’s good. Safe.”

Harry’s eyes began to well up, and was eyeing Louis with so much betrayal that the city boy wanted to cry a little bit too. More in frustration, though, because why couldn’t Harry just see that they were safe? How could he tell Harry that all of this was supposed to happen?

Harry began to screech then, which made the children behind them cry.

“What is wrong with him?” someone shouted.

“Fuck off.” Louis yelled back, then grabbed Harry’s hands in his. “We’re okay. Just… look.” He tapped at the window, and Harry’s head snapped towards it.

He pressed his face to the glass, and immediately relaxed. “Ooo.” He said, peering out at the land that was growing smaller and smaller beneath them.

Louis felt the grip on his hand loosen as Harry calmed, and watched the wild man’s fascination grow. He had this peaceful look in his face, a tiny smile curving the edges of his lips, so it was no surprise that Louis’ heart jumped out of his chest when Harry suddenly screeched like an eagle.

“Caw!” he’d said, and everyone in the plane ducked as if there was a bird flying over their heads. It was that realistic. Then Harry laughed and looked to Louis, eyes bright with wonder.

Louis smiled unsurely back, a little frightened that Harry was mid-mental-breakdown until the jungle man began tapping at the glass with his finger.

“Lou.” He said excitedly, even though all that was out there was clouds. “Lou!”


And he cawed again, causing more shouts from the other passengers.

 “Control him Louis! He’s going to get us kicked off the plane!” the cameraman shouted from behind, and there were a few mumbled agreements from the rest of the crew.

“Caw! Caw!” Harry said, this time flapping his arms about.

“Oh!” Louis said, eyebrows shooting up because of course. “We’re flying!” There was a giggle from behind them, a child’s giggle, and Louis couldn’t help but grin too. “We’re flying like birds! Right!”

That seemed to change Harry’s feelings towards plane flights because from then on he was completely relaxed. Instead of screeching and jumping about and yelling, he was laughing and grinning with the occasional loud caw.

It meant Louis could relax, and finally move back from the edge of his seat. The children behind them had stopped screaming, and would laugh with Harry or at him when he made his bird noises, and everything went back to being calm.

Except it wasn’t ideal, because the flight attendants avoided them like the plague. The passengers that were over 10 still complained about Harry’s noises, and shushed him every so often, and when the seatbelt light went out a few people actually got up out of their seats to come get a look at the strange man who made animal noises.

It was the longest seven hour flight of Louis’ life.

But funnily enough, Louis found the one hour one from Paris to Heathrow a lot more difficult.

Harry had calmed down for that one, and didn’t flip out during take-off. If anything, he was excited about it. He was bopping in his seat while the flight attendants went through their safety spiel, and when the plane started reversing out onto the runway he pressed his face right against the window.

Unlike the flight from Africa to Paris, this one was completely booked out. It meant that Louis was seated next to both Harry and a stranger, and he wasn’t looking forward to what the woman would surely say when Harry started his bird calls.

But Harry didn’t really make them this time. He just stared out the window with a grin on his face, grabbing at Louis’ hand every now and then when he got overly excited. Louis figured it would be fine, then, to use the bathroom. He’d been busting to go for the last few hours but there was never a time he felt right leaving the wild man. Now that Harry seemed content, Louis saw no problem in leaving him for just a few minutes to use the loo.

When he came back though, and saw the woman sitting in his seat giggling as Harry looked through her hair, Louis snapped.

“That’s my seat.” Louis growled, and the lady just looked at him and smiled.

“Lou!” Harry called, grinning wide. “Harry’s Lou.”

“I’m sorry.” The lady said, voice sweet and accent French. “He was saying something to me and I couldn’t understand.”

“He doesn’t speak English. Can I have my seat back please?” he asked, a little kinder because the way Harry was looking at him, like he was so happy to have him back, was drastically improving his mood.

The woman got up and moved back to her seat, but she wouldn’t stop sending Harry little longing glances. When Harry saw her looking, he smiled and said “Fuck Harry Lou.”

The woman widened her eyes and turned bright pink. “Pardon?”

And Louis grinned. “He asked you to fuck him. And me too. It’s kind of a thing we do.”

“I – I don’t –“ she stuttered, going so red Louis almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

“So how about it?” Louis asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“No. Thank you.” She muttered, then pulled a book out from the pouch in front of her and read that instead.

Louis was still grinning when an air host popped his head past the woman. “Can I get you anything?” he asked with a big cheesy smile.

“Two waters please.”

The man’s smile dropped a bit as he turned to his trolley and grabbed two bottles out from a draw. He passed one to Louis, and one to Harry, and when Harry reached out to take his the man didn’t let it go. “About that… proposition. I’m up for it.” Then he winked, and grinned at Louis.

Who didn’t really know what to say. If people were just going to crack on to Harry left right and centre then maybe Louis should have just stayed in the jungle with him. He wasn’t very good at sharing.

Harry responded though. He growled and pulled harder at the bottle until it came out of the man’s hand. Then he pressed the bottle to his chin and went back to looking out the window.

The air host just stared back in shock, going red in mortification.

Louis couldn’t help but grin smugly. What a way to reject someone.

“I’m – uh, sorry? I’ll be – going.” He stuttered, and tripped his way down the aisle.

Louis laughed then, throwing his head back and cackling, and Harry watched him with his own little smile. Then he wrapped his lips around the cap of the water bottle and Louis’ laugh got caught in his throat.

He awkwardly coughed it out, all the while staring at Harry’s lips and how plump they still looked despite how wide they were stretched.

“Oh fuck.” It was the creepy air host again, standing by their seats just staring. “How about just me and you then?” he asked Harry, voice coming out in a squeak. "Please?”

Harry pulled his lips off the bottle cap with a pop and grinned. “Fuck Harry!” he shouted, and a big wad of saliva dropped from his mouth.

Which was fucking disgusting, but also incredibly dirty. It seemed to turn the air host on, anyway. “Okay!” he breathed out.

“No! No no no!” Louis growled, before the man got any more ideas. “He’s a bottom.”

The man frowned. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I do the fucking, and I’m not fucking you, so run along.”

“Oh my god.” The lady groaned from beside them. “Please just be quiet.”

“Sorry.” Louis grumbled, and the air host wasn’t going anywhere so he whispered “Fuck off or this lady will complain!”

“Oh. Right. I’ll – go.” He mumbled, and with a final longing look to Harry he hurried off with his trolley to probably go accost someone else.

“Perve.” Louis muttered, and the lady beside him snorted. It was fair enough, really. He had come off as a bit creepy, but at least he didn’t mean it.

When he looked to Harry, the man was sucking on his water bottle again and Louis groaned.

“Ooo.” He grunted, and Louis pulled it from his lips to open it.

Harry sucked some water down and went back to staring out the window. Only now it wasn’t clouds they could see, it was buildings. Louis had never been so happy to see London before in his life.