Actions

Work Header

Chapter Text

As soon as you return from the battle with your mum, you notice that Willow has left you a message.

-- drunknIrish [DI] began pestering robotVagabond [RV] --

DI: David.
DI: I need you to deploy the four free items.
DI: Preferably in a way that’s convenient for both of us.

RV: Which would be what, exactly?
RV: I mean, it’s not like we’re going to run out of room any time soon
RV: Your house is ridiculously empty
RV: It’s kind of creepy, to be honest

DI: I know.
DI: I didn’t buy anything I wouldn’t need today.
DI: And after today I can pretty much make whatever I do need.
DI: And all of that, just to make it easier for you.

RV: How awfully considerate of you
RV: Of course, I fully accept this courtesy
RV: And shall make optimal use of the resources given to me

DI: You’re not going to place them as far apart as possible.
RV: I’m not?
DI: Nope.
RV: Damn
RV: I was really looking forward to watching you run around
RV: You look like you could use the exercise

DI: David, don’t you know it’s impolite to comment on a lady’s weight?
RV: I do apologise, miss Willow.
DI: Apology accepted.
RV: I can’t help but notice that I have 200 grist to spend here
RV: Is that a lot?
RV: And don’t get clever with me
RV: I know 200 can generally be seen as a lot
RV: But I need to know the exchange rate here
RV: If I need 10 grist to add one small square to your home, this is practically nothing

DI: You know me far too well.
DI: 200 is quite a bit.
DI: Peter and Kyrianne started with only 20.

RV: Okay
RV: Then what do we need ten times as much for?

DI: Oh, later players get additional advantages.
DI: Those other devices, for example.
DI: But we’re not going to bother with those yet.
DI: Just put the Alchemiter, Totem Lathe, Cruxtruder and Pre-Punched Card close together.
DI: I need to get back to not having Thijs kill himself.

RV: That sounds like it needs your full attention
RV: Good luck
RV: I’m going to see how everyone else is doing
RV: Call it covering for you, if you will

DI: You are such a gentleman.
RV: Thank you
RV: If I weren’t sitting down I would’ve bowed
RV: Bye

-- robotVagabond [RV] ceased pestering drunknIrish [DI] --

Let’s see, who haven’t you heard from in a while? It’s been a while since you talked to Peter and Kyrianne, but they’re probably busy having all kinds of exciting adventures, wherever they are now. The only other person you haven’t talked to today is, well.

OL.

Oh this is going to be fun.

A girl like that deserves your A game, anyway.

-- robotVagabond [RV] began pestering obfuscatingLogician [OL] --

RV: Hello
RV: I hate to intrude upon your no doubt valuable time

OL: oh man
OL: look at all these golden pieces of time being all intruded upon
OL: i’m losing track of all these clocks
OL: what is up sir?
OL: insert ceiling joke here

RV: Oh, general doomsday apocalypse business, really
RV: Nothing to worry about
RV: How about you?

OL: i’m getting all bunkered up and shit sir
OL: preparing myself for the end and what comes after
OL: doooooooooooom!
OL: got the doors baricaded and everything
OL: like a boss
OL: bring on the zombies!

RV: I’m fairly certain this game lacks undead
RV: Although you never know

OL: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
OL: you mean to tell me i did all this preparing business for nothing?
OL: be prepared my ass
OL: i’m gonna quit right here and now

RV: So, do you have a server and client player yet?
OL: nope
RV: …
RV: Do you have a server or client player yet?

OL: yup!
RV: Which poor soul did you manage to get your hands on?
OL: oh man, you don’t even know
OL: my hands all up and violated TR
OL: it was suuuuuuch an awesome convo
OL: it’s saved on the hardest of hard drives
OL: and wooow i didn’t even think about that one
OL: hahahahaha

RV: I’m sure he’s in full agreement with that assessment?
OL: nah, not really
OL: it was kinda awkward tbh
OL: it’s like noone knows how to talk properly and shit
OL: they can’t even deal with the levels of awesome i dish out on a sentency basis

RV: How sad, that they should miss out on all these fun conversations
RV: Do you have anyone in mind as a server player?

OL: i’m just going to pretend it isn’t totally weird that you guessed he wasn’t
OL: because i was totally gonna mess w/ you about that

RV: Certainly, I have abilities far beyond those of a normal human being
RV: Namely, communication skills

OL: you know it
OL: anyway
OL: i don’t think i have a choice, right?
OL: only guy left’s ES
OL: this is not a complaint, only an observation

RV: Noted
OL: but man
OL: the grapevine’s been telling me he’s going through several mental breakdowns
OL: consecutive ones even
OL: like, i didn’t even know that was fucking possible

RV: It appears there’s a part of the grapevine I’m left out of
OL: you poor baby!
OL: but yeeeeah
OL: i’ve kinda got my own sources
OL: mysterious ones that i can’t even really talk about
OL: all kinds of movie shit and shit

RV: Shit and shit?
OL: hell yeah!
OL: that’s just how much shit it is

RV: You continue to enlighten me
RV: Is there anything about your sources you feel you can share with the class?
RV: I am simply dying with curiosity over here

OL: weeeeeeeeeell
OL: you did ask
OL: soooooooooo
OL: i guess i can tell you that my source is a girl?

RV: You’ll have to forgive me for this assumption, but when I see the words ‘source’ and ‘girl’ in one sentence, there is really only one conclusion I can jump to
OL: lolwut?
OL: oh!
OL: no i’m not talking bout DI
OL: wow yeah
OL: talk about misleading information
OL: sorry

RV: Just checking
RV: That’s all you’re willing to tell me?

OL: yup
OL: youre not getting any more intel out of this bitch
OL: im locked up tighter than TRs ass

RV: That’s not very nice
OL: sorry
OL: yeah that was supposed to be a joke
OL: but i guess it went a bit too far without going waaaay too far
OL: cause aint nobody that doesnt know that way too far is way too funny

RV: And we have a triple negative!
RV: Honestly, we are breaking new grounds here

OL: i could go quad on your ass
OL: ill fucking do it too
OL: you mark my words

RV: Those are harsh words, my lady
RV: Everyone knows the quadruple negative is the bringer of the apocalypse

OL: daaaaaaaamn
OL: someone beat me to it!
OL: you’d better have some names RV
OL: imma stab some suckers
OL: fuck yeh aliteration

RV: For the sake of the human race, soon to be extinguished, I shall not
OL: one of these days david
OL: one of these days ill find something to make you speechless
OL: srsly

RV: A rather ambitious challenge you’ve set up for yourself
RV: I wish you luck

OL: sure you do
OL: n e way im getting out of here
OL: things to do
OL: you know how it is

RV: Do not let me keep you

-- obfuscatingLogician [OL] ceased pestering robotVagabond [RV] --

Okay, that certainly made you feel good, as fun conversations are wont to do.

Maybe now is a good time to check on Peter and Kyrianne.

-- robotVagabond [RV] began pestering eccentricStyle [ES] --

RV: Hey, Peter
ES: Oh dear God I do not have time for this.
ES: Sorry, David.
ES: Duty’s calling.
ES: By which I mean Thijs is being an idiot.

RV: Carry on, then

-- robotVagabond [RV] ceased pestering eccentricStyle [ES] --

That certainly wasn’t very helpful. He did sound like he could use your help, though.

-- robotVagabond [RV] began pestering annoyingDutchie [AD] --

RV: Thijs?
RV: I heard you were being your characteristic self again

AD: hsuejkvnbajen
RV: Okay?
AD: hfuanfkarkiahkr

-- annoyingDutchie [AD] ceased pestering robotVagabond [RV] --

Evidently this is going wrong on a lot of levels. Perhaps talking to Willow...

-- drunknIrish [DI] began pestering robotVagabond [RV] --

DI: No.
DI: He’ll be alright.

-- drunknIrish [DI] ceased pestering robotVagabond [RV] --

That was decidedly not surprising, although you’re starting to think she can read minds as well as the future.

Now that would be weird.

Well then, now that you’re at it anyway, you might as well check up on TR, too. Being surrounded by two lovely, if slightly odd ladies is not good for that man’s mental health.

-- robotVagabond [RV] began pestering tyrannosaurusRock [TR] --

RV: Hey there
RV: I’m just checking to see if you’re okay
RV: Since nobody else seems to be

TR: AAAAAAAARRGHHRGF!!!
RV: I’m going to take that as a no
TR: NO SHIT SHERLOCK
TR: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT
TR: THIS WHOLE THING IS SUCH RETARDED BULLSHIT!
TR: I FUCKING QUIT!

RV: What is it this time?

-- tyrannosaurusRock [TR] ceased pestering robotVagabond [RV] --

Yeah, you’ve just now decided this business isn’t worth the effort. You’re going to play a video game until Willow or Myra talk to you again.