Work Text:
Some days Reeve really hated his job. Those were the days he got up late, got stuck riding the elevator with Scarlet and her noxious cloud of perfume, was tripped up by Palmer, received several urgent messages from the President, and found his coffee machine wasn't working. Combine that day with the stress of maintaining a covert position inside one of the most dangerous terrorist groups in the world, and it was enough to make a man consider the benefits of skydiving off the company roof without a parachute.
Half a world away from Midgar, Avalanche was just settling in for the night. Through Cait Sith's cameras Reeve could see the top of Aeris' head as she bent over Tifa's feet, carefully painting her toes. Yuffie sat next to her fanning her own freshly painted neon green toes. The left camera blurred briefly as Tifa tipped Cait Sith's crown down at a jaunty angle.
"So," Tifa said slowly as she continued to fiddle with the crown on Cait's head. "Who would you sleep with, Yuffie?"
"Well," Yuffie briefly considered the question before nodding. "There's no doubt about it! Vincent."
Tifa laughed, "No need to think about it at all."
"Of course not!" Yuffie wiggled her toes. "I'm young, beautiful, and completely shallow! Vin's the cutest guy so of course he's the one I'd want to shack up with."
"There's a bit more to it all than just sex, Yuffie," Tifa lightly scolded.
Aeris smiled as she continued to carefully paint Tifa's toenails. "I don't think Vincent would make a good boyfriend anyway. He's still wrapped up in Lucretia isn't he?"
"Geeze," Yuffie flopped backwards onto the bed pouting at the two women. "We are just talking about sex, not marriage."
"Ah, to be young again," Reeve's words squeaked out theatrically in Cait Sith's voice. "When sex can just be sex and not involve the messy tangled threads of human emotion."
"Hey, who asked you anyway!" Yuffie scowled at the stuffed cat.
"No one," Reeve answered cheerfully, "I'd simply assumed that I'd been invited to this girl's party as more than just something cute to cuddle."
"No, not really," Tifa, according to the pressure gauge, held Cait a little tighter, and now Reeve was damning the budget cut that prevented Hojo's people from installing that sensory upgrade. "But we won't hold it against you."
"Well, in that case-" The robot snuggled back and purred in obvious contentment. Perhaps he couldn't feel anything, but he could damn well pretend.
Aeris leaned back and examined her work critically before screwing the bottle shut. "What about Barret?" She asked after the thoughtful silence.
"Barret?!" Yuffie recoiled in exaggerated horror. "Ew!"
"Now Yuffie-" Tifa started.
"Hey, I said I was shallow and I meant it," Yuffie threw a pillow at Tifa which only managed to knock Cait's crown back up. "That means no cranky geezers."
Aeris laughed, plucking the pillow from Tifa's lap and curling around it. "Well, I think Barret's sweet."
"He has a kid!" Yuffie protested.
"Yes, and he's very sweet and loving with her. So you already know he's a good guy," Aeris reached over Yuffie and began to carefully peel the wrapping off of a box of chocolates. A task that was made harder by her still wet nails.
"Whatever," Yuffie rolled her eyes. "What about you Tifa?"
"Nope," Tifa snagged a few pieces from Aeris. "Barret's family. It's wrong to sleep with your family."
"Is it really?" Aeris asked innocently.
"Aeris!" Tifa threw a chocolate at the giggling woman.
"Ok, ok," Aeris turned back to Yuffie. "So I guess that also rules Cid out."
Yuffie picked the thrown chocolate up and nodded. "He's got the old and he's got the cranky. Yeah he's right out."
"Hm," Tifa smacked at Yuffie's hand. "I dunno, he's not that old. Just old enough to have some experience."
Yuffie snorted, "The only thing Cid has experience in is swearing and flying."
"Exactly," Tifa snickered. "I wouldn't mind him being loud in bed, because he just has to know how get you there without crashing."
"Oh gawd," Yuffie groaned burying her head into the mattress. "That's horrible Tifa."
Aeris tossed the empty box away and asked, "Why didn't you consider Cloud?"
Yuffie looked up and frowned, "Weren't you the one who was getting onto me about guys with trauma?"
"I thought you didn't care about that," Tifa said.
"I don't, but you know Cloud's just," Yuffie sat up and made a few wavy hand motions which set the three of them off into laughter. "Anyway even if I did get anywhere with him I'd be too afraid to sleep around you two afterwards."
"Afraid?" Aeris' eyes gleamed with humor. "You should be."
"Yes," Tifa set Cait down and grinned widely. "You should be very afraid."
"Um, yeah," Yuffie smiled nervously as the two women, still grinning, began to crawl forward. "That's why I don't- Uh, hey! You know I didn't-" There was no warning given before both women pounced pushing her firmly into the bed, and began mercilessly tickling her. "No! Stop! Someone help me!"
"Yeah, sure," Reeve sat and watched through the cameras as the laughing and shrieking women writhed on the bed. Some days Reeve hated his job. Tifa shrieked loudly as Aeris turned against her and she was pushed under the onslaught of the two women, her shirt riding up as they attacked her ribs. Other days Reeve wanted to get on his knees and thank the President. "In a minute."