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Published:
2010-07-09
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2014-05-12
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2/?
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From the Far-Off Mountain

Summary:

"It's not that your father doesn't want you to be a detective, Heimi," Shizuka explained gently. "It's that he doesn't want to ever see you in danger. If one is possible without the other, I'm sure you'll find a way."

Chapter 1: The Holmes-Otaku Trip

Notes:

This AU has been building in my head for years. I wasn't sure which piece I wanted to reinterpret first, but I think this is a good introduction to Toyama Kazuki, who is quite different from his female counterpart. To say nothing of his best friend and long-time crush, whose parents are old-fashioned and overprotective to a frightening degree.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Kazuki wakes up to the sound of his own voice speaking. Not the kind of thing that happens every day, so he keeps quiet, stays still, and listens to what he's saying.

"She discovered that yer answer sheet was blank! And why wouldn't it? Ya already knew the owner wouldn't be alive ta pick up the exams."

Huh. The guy with his voice has a way with words. And a terrible grasp of his accent. He's a little insulted.

"If I'm wrong, prove it. Show us yer answer sheet, Togano!"

There's a few seconds of stunned silence, then the guy breaks down, sobbing. His motivation's revealed - and seriously, all of this over interpreting Holmes? That's just sad - and the fuss and focus dies down enough that Kazuki thinks it might be safe to open his eyes. He yawns once, stretches twice, and then finds himself looking up at a cute girl grinning at him. He smiles up at her automatically, blinking heavily when he recognizes her.

It's Mouri-san.

He blinks again. No, not dreaming.

"Toyama-kun, you're amazing!" she declares. "Best in the West, no question!"

...interesting. The guy with his voice didn't just sound like him, he'd pretended to be Kazuki. Who would...? No, wait, he already knows the answer to that question. And the eyes he can feel watching the back of his head, he's not imagining those. Someone's behind him, and he knows who.

The better question, then, is "Why would?" Or "How could?"

People are staring again, though, so it might be prudent to hold off on those questions for later. Just maybe. "Yer too kind," he says in that painfully bad accent. The crowd starts applauding, and he laughs. "It was nothing, really."

Toyama Kazuki, honest as always.

He stays by the door he was lying against, and sure enough - look who comes 'round the corner. It's little Kudo-chan, and this time he's sure of it. "Hey," he hisses to the kid, who pauses mid-step to look up at him. "Nice job with that, kid."

Kudo blinks owlishly up at him. "What do you mean, Kazuki-niichan? You're the one who solved the case."

Oh, so we're playing dumb again, are we? Kazuki rolls his eyes and sighs. "No, you're the one who solved it, using me as your puppet." He looks the kid over suspiciously. "Now, just how did you - oh." Grinning, he reaches down and flips the bow tie over, revealing an odd bit of gadgetry. "Well isn't this handy? You're no good at accents, but I bet you can imitate anybody's tone of voice with this thing."

"I - uh..."

"Even your own. Right, Kudo?"

"W-what?" he squeaks. "That's ridiculous, I'm just a kid!"

"Ridiculous, huh?" Kazuki grins to himself. "What is it that Holmes says? "After you've removed the impossible whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth", right?" The kid stares up at him, wide-eyed and nervous. Flipping a finger up for each point, Kazuki says, "You disappear just before Kudo appears, reappear after he leaves, and your deductions are exactly in his style. Face it, Kudo, I've got you caught." He grins down at the kid, daring him to keep denying it.

He looks away and sighs. "Fine, you've got me."

"Ha!" Kazuki cheers, pumping a fist in the air. "I knew it, I knew it! Just wait until Hei - uh. What?" Kudo tugs on his shirt again, bringing him down to the kid's level, and lightning fast shoves his hand in Kazuki's ear, pulling out a flesh colored piece of plastic with a small speaker sticking out of one end.

"Uh." Kazuki swallows, his throat suddenly dry. "I can explain that."

Kudo grins, triumphant. "It looks like I've got you too, fake Detective of the West."

Oh man, Heimi is going to kill him.

Notes:

For the prompt "Genderbent" at au_bingo. My card is here.

For the prompt "Secrets" at 50scenes. My table is here.

Chapter 2

Notes:

And if I never manage to do my full-scale reinterpretation, I suppose I should at least introduce the readers to Hattori Heimi.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

An hour spent shouting at the police until they finally took her concerns seriously. The trip up to the house would be at least two hours, even if the police traveled as fast as they could. Another two hours back, plus any time spent investigating on the scene and keeping witnesses there...

No matter how Heimi did the math, she should have heard from Kazuki ages ago. She'd long since paced a circle into the carpet of her room, and the movement wasn't doing anything to calm her down at this point. But she kept pacing, because there wasn't anything else she could do.

She hated this.

Times like this, she almost understood why Oton forbade her from doing detective work - but these were also the times she almost hated him for doing it. At least if she was the one investigating, she'd be the only one put in danger. Innocent, stupid, non-detective morons wouldn't be caught up in her cases, or face the consequences of her mistakes. But instead...

Her cellphone rang. Heimi snatched it up with shaking hands, let it ring a few times as she calmed herself down. When she answered, her voice was flat, neutral. Not what you'd call calm, though.

"Hey," Kazuki said, and the knot of guilt in Heimi's stomach fell apart; he sounded fine. "Sorry I had to leave you back there - "

"Yeah, thanks for that, asshole!" she chimed in sweetly.

"Don't shout at me! It's not my fault all the tires were slashed!" Heimi snorted, but it was a fair point. After a moment, Kazuki said, "I'm fine, if you were wondering."

"Yeah, I was wondering if I'd have to fine a replacement front man," she lied lightly. "Thanks for surviving, I'd hate to have to break in somebody new."

"Jerk," Kazuki sighed fondly. "Anyway, you want the good news or bad news first?"

Heimi frowned. "There's bad news?"

"...good news first, then. We were totally right about that kid. He's Kudou, though I can't tell you how on the phone."

Heimi jumped up and down and punched the air; she knew it, she knew it! Although she couldn't resist asking: "I'm sorry, what's this 'we' you're talking about?"

"...what?" Heimi laughed when Kazuki put it together and sputtered. "Oh, you - yes, we. I may not be a smart-ass like you, but I filled in half the blanks for you, didn't I?" He made a wet noise that sounded like he was sticking out his tongue.

Heimi returned the favor cheekily. "What about the bad news, then?"

"Ah... the bad news? Well... when I made Kudou, he kind of... made... us."

Heimi tried to breathe. A raspy, horrible noise came out of her instead, and she shrieked, "What? Kazuki, he can't know, if Oton finds out, I'm - "

"Hey, didn't I just say not to shout at me?" he whined, a slight distant echo telling Heimi he'd pulled the phone away from his ear. Typical Kazuki. "It's not like he made you, he hasn't even met you! Moron." Heimi sighed, starting to breathe easier. "But," Kazuki continued, "he figured out I'm a front. Guess the way I acted without you to guide me was a pretty big clue."

"We always knew you weren't the world's greatest actor," Heimi snapped, but there was really no bite to it. "I'll just... keep my distance, same as ever. It'll be fine." She wished that hadn't sounded so uncertain.

"Yeah," Kazuki said reassuringly. "It's not like he can rat on me, anyway, not when his secret's definitely the bigger of the two."

"Right." Heimi pinched the bridge of her nose, rubbing it until the tension faded properly. "Right, so I'll... see you at the airport?"

"Good idea. A bus goes through that town every few hours. I'll be waiting for you there." Kazuki chuckled. "You'd never guess how Kudou got like this."

Heimi smiled, already making up a list of possibilities. "We'll see about that."

Notes:

For the prompt "genderswap" on my trope_bingo card. Also for the prompt "Liar" on my 50scenes table.