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Caroline and Bonnie, are, like, total BFFs. Except there's the part where Caroline is a vampire, and Bonnie is a witch who hates vampires. Also, Bonnie's being super judgmental about the whole thing, because it's not like Caroline even had a choice in whether or not she became a vampire. Not that Bonnie sticks around long enough to hear Caroline's side of the story.
Elena is also ninety percent avoidant of Caroline, except when she needs something vamp related and doesn't want Stefan or Damon to find out. Caroline rolls her eyes a lot and goes along with it, because her only hope of getting back in with Bonnie lies in not getting Elena mad.
For actual company that's interested in her actual personality, Caroline hangs out with Stefan instead. Stefan and Tyler are her guy friends, which is almost the same as having girlfriends. Except that, when she wants a confab on what to wear to the most important date of her life, which is really just when she's trying to talk Bonnie into getting over her whole vamp hatred, Tyler just asks her why she's bothering.
Her next step is to call Stefan. He's got that whole metrosexual vibe going on. He might be able to give pointers. Do they even call guys who get manicures 'metrosexuals' any more?
Stefan is a huge help, which surprises Caroline, at least up until he reveals he got a degree in fashion design in New York in the sixties.
"You know, you've got depths," she says, twirling her straw in her soda pop and leaning forward, smiling cutely. She's got to stay in practice. "You could design costumes for the next school play."
"I don't think so," says Stefan. He defers, like he doesn't think he'd do a decent job. "I'm sure there's a wardrobe room somewhere that's got better costumes than I can dream up."
Caroline fixes Stefan with the baleful look that she knows pins ninety percent of people into their seat and makes them squirm. She normally saves it for people that she judges aren't doing enough for the Mystic Falls Go Green Initiative, but it's warranted here.
Yes, she's judgey. No, she doesn't care.
"The thing is, you don't want to come between me and something I've decided on." Caroline sips at her Coke. She's laced it with rum, because the craving for blood is pretty strong today. "So, first of all, you're helping me decide between the green silk blouse that will bring out my eyes, or the blue velvet tank top that makes my breasts look really hot."
Stefan laughs. "Do you really want to dress so that Bonnie finds you attractive?"
"Um, duh," says Caroline, blinking. She shakes her head, totally disbelieving that he doesn't get it. Of course, the other problem is that he doesn't have Mystic Falls back story for her generation. "Look, it's Bonnie. She's not only my best friend, but she's my girlfriend too. Sometimes. Not right now, for obvious reasons."
"She's what?" Stefan does a spit take with his coffee, and it actually comes out his nose.
Caroline swallows her laughter and grabs a handful of napkins to shove at him. "Oh my God, you should have seen the look on your face!"
"What do you expect? You laid that on me and no one has ever said anything like that before," says Stefan. He dabs at his grey t-shirt for a minute and then throws the wad of napkins on the table. "Lost cause."
"Hot water and baking soda before you throw it in the washing machine," says Caroline, straightening up. "Look, Bonnie and I trade off between being best friends and girlfriends, and it's not something anyone else knows, not even Elena. So if you tell anyone, especially Elena, I'm going to feed all the squirrels in a fifty mile radius of Mystic Falls as much vervain as their squirrelly little hearts can take."
Stefan's mouth twitches. Caroline crosses her arms and gives him her best 'in charge' look. She is so in charge. Plus it's good to make Stefan laugh. He doesn't do it enough.
"Right, so you're looking at the green silk blouse or the blue velvet tank top," says Stefan, capitulating, probably to end the threats they both know she has no intention of carrying out.
Caroline straightens up, preens, and gives him a look that says she knows what he's doing, and she's okay with that. She hands over her phone, with the pictures of herself in the pertinent tops loaded up. She's wearing a sexy black miniskirt that complements either one, and the cutest little heels that are a shimmery peacock that's going to match both of them.
"I would go with the tank top, but I'm looking at it from a male perspective," says Stefan. He hands her phone back with one of those wry little smiles that he doesn't realize says he has no clue what to do with an actual friend. Which she is. "Do lesbians fixate on that too?"
"You have no idea." Caroline's eyes widen just a little, because how can he have possibly missed that in the past hundred and sixty-some years? Or however long it's been. "I'm not a lesbian anyway. Or did you miss the fact that I was dating Matt until a few weeks ago?"
Stefan's eyes cross. He doesn't get her. Oh, well. He's apparently going to have plenty of time to learn.
Bonnie walks in, and Caroline waves and tries to gesture her over. It doesn't work. Bonnie just rolls her eyes, huffs, and stomps over to the bar.
"Go on," says Stefan. He gives her a sympathetic look. At least one person around here gets it and doesn't regularly threaten to kill her. "I'll be around when you're done." He pauses, ducking his head. "Or I'll be back at the house, if you take too long."
"Got it," says Caroline. She takes a deep breath, totally unnecessary, but whatever, stands up, and walks over to the bar at the most normal, human, no-freakout-needed-thank-you pace. She doesn't even have her blue tank top on. It's in her purse.
When she gets over by Bonnie, she's got two coffees in her hands and holds one out to Caroline. "We need to talk," she says.
"Uh, yeah," says Caroline. She takes the coffee and holds onto it like it's a lifeline. Or maybe the last remnant of whatever she and Bonnie used to have. "Are you breaking up with me? Or ending our friendship? Or--"
She falls silent. Bonnie looks like she's torn between being upset and laughing, which is hopefully a good thing.
"So you're not going to make my brain explode?" asks Caroline. "Or break up with me."
"I'm not like that," says Bonnie. She pauses. "Unless you're Damon. Then all bets are off."
"Which I am not, ew," says Caroline. She pauses, trying not to look hopeful, and she knows she's failing miserably. "Look, I'm sorry, it's not like I could help any of what happened, and if I could have, believe me, it's not like I wanted this."
"I know," says Bonnie. She's got a sad look about her, one that Caroline wishes she wasn't the cause of. Except she is and she hates it. She hates herself sometimes for letting it happen, even if she knows it's Katherine's fault.
"So?" asks Caroline. She just wants Bonnie to get this over with already.
"Maybe not here?" asks Bonnie, glancing around at the crowd, which includes Carol Lockwood and the Fell cousins.
So they leave, and they talk, and they do a lot more than just talk. The next morning, when Bonnie's rifling through her purse and looking for lip gloss, she pulls out both of Caroline's tops.
"Were you planning on seducing me?" she asks, holding them up and turning to Caroline.
"I was kinda hoping it would work out that way," admits Caroline, and then they're laughing with each other.
Nothing's perfect. Bonnie's a witch and she's a vampire, and the killer psycho oldest vampire ever is after Elena, so everything is going to hell in a handbasket. But at least she and Bonnie have started to make up. Maybe there's hope for her and Elena to make up too, because when the three of them are working together, nothing's ever been able to stop them.
This will be so much more rewarding than the Go Green campaign.