Lord Voldemort hated incompetence. Especially when it seemed to stem from his own subordinates.
Remus J. Lupin, loyal supporter of Albus Dumbledore, was currently being treated at St. Mungo's for injuries relating to a Death Eater raid. The raid had been staged, with the plan to injure one of the Order of the Phoenix badly enough to require a trip to St. Mungo's. Lucius still had his contacts within the wizarding world, and he could lower the security long enough for Voldemort to Apparate in and pick a semi-conscious Lupin's mind for intelligence on Dumbledore's next move. There were risks involved, of course, but none of his other Death Eaters were near as strong of a legilimens as he. The risks were worth taking, if he could get information to crush Dumbledore and leave Harry Potter unprotected.
Except he wasn't in the right ward at all. The figures resting on the beds looked familiar, but none of them were Lupin. "Hello, are you here for an autograph? Bit late, you know?" a voice from behind him said.
Damn it all! Apparently one of the patients was still awake. Well, there went stealth. And killing people by magic was rather obvious -- well, there was nothing to tie him here, and a good dose of terror never hurt things. He grabbed his wand, and turned to go for the Killing Curse.
The man sitting up in bed was giving him a bemused look. Voldemort paused, a bit disoriented. He'd seen a lot of people in their last moments. The expressions on their faces tended to blur together -- fear, rage, determination. He'd never seen someone so calm. "You! Don't you know who I am?"
"Well, no actually. Have we met?"
"I am Lord Voldemort!" Voldemort stared at the patient. He was a rather attractive man, probably in his 30's, but careful applications of Wrinkle-Reducing Charms and Anti-Aging Spells made that a bit unclear. He looked familiar... that's right, he had seen Bella practicing her hexes on a target with this man's picture on it. When he inquired, she'd explained he had been a fellow Slytherin and ex-boyfriend during school. Well, the man was a Slytherin. That counted for something.
"I'm Gilderoy. Would you like an autograph? I get a lot of requests for them. Letters too." He smiled and gestured to the boxes of letters placed by his bed. "Just let me get out a quill..."
Voldemort found himself smiling back... wait a moment, damn it! He was not supposed to like people, even when they were good-looking and charismatic! He was a Dark Lord, and people should be fearing him or respecting him, not giving him autographs!
Gilderoy had found his paper and quill. "Here we go, I'll just go ahead and sign this, 'To my Excellent Friend, Lord Volde... how do you spell that, again?"
"V... o... l..." It suddenly dawned on Voldemort where he had heard that name before. It had been part of Wormtail's briefing on Potter. Gilderoy Lockhart had been Potter's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher his second year -- the year when Lucius had let his old diary out again to cause trouble for Potter and the Weasley family. If Voldemort's memory served him, and it always did, Lockhart had been incapacitated by a spell from one of Potter's little friends, and lost his memory. He had also been quite a celebrity in the wizarding world... He could be useful to me, especially in the state he's in...
"Gilderoy, how would you like to come with me on a trip?" Voldemort tried to look bright and cheery and unthreatening, and ended up with a smile that would make small children wet their pants.
"A trip? But the Healers..."
"I'm sure the Healers won't mind. We can tell them later. Besides, aren't you tired of staying in the building all the time?"
"Well... when you put it like that. All of these nice witches write to me about all these things I've done." He gestured to the letters again, looking wistfully at them. "Must be nice to do things besides write autographs."
"Excellent. Get your things, we're leaving."
Later, Lucius Malfoy would wonder about the amount of time his boss would spend alone with his new guest. When he asked, he was told sharply that the Dark Lord was preparing Lockhart for his subversive work in creating sympathy for their cause. He didn't ask further questions -- too many questions to Voldemort tended to meet with answers that involved the Cruciatus Curse. Besides, whatever it was, it seemed to be going well -- Lucius swore he caught the Dark Lord smiling after his sessions with Lockhart.