Work Text:
The first post-card comes a week after Jeff moves back to California. The front shows a picture of a palm tree with a beach towel and umbrella beneath it. The back says:
Dear JABHow are you? I miss you guys, but it's nice to be back at my old school. Guess what? I taught my friends here how to play Secret Agents, and they love it. Jordan, you should send us some assignments. I'm not good at thinking of them myself.
Sincerely,
Jeff
The three of them read it together, jostling shoulders in front of the mailbox. Afterwards, they look at each other and grin.
"Cool!" Adam exclaims, and the other two nod in excitement. They don't get mail very often, besides the occasional card from their grandparents.
"We can be pen pals!" Byron decides. Adam and Jordan grin at the idea, and the three of them stampede up to their room. Since Byron has the neatest handwriting, he prints a letter carefully on notebook paper, while Jordan jots down some top secret assignments and Adam makes some authentic badges for Jeff's California friends.
After that, the postcards come sporadically. Sometimes it takes Jeff a few months to reply, sometimes he writes back the next week. Adam and Jordan's enthusiasm dwindles after the first six months. Before long, it's Byron writing the letters himself, then presenting them to his brothers to sign. A whole year passes before he gets brave enough to respond to one of Jeff's postcards with a letter signed simply, Byron. He's nervous afterwards – what if Jeff doesn't want to be his pen pal? He was writing to all three of them, after all. But when Jeff's reply comes, a month later, it's addressed to Byron Pike, no Adam or Jordan accompanying it. Byron grins, and carries the letter to his room.
* * *
Byron figures out he's gay about the same time that Adam and Jordan decide their algebra class is. It's their sophomore year of high school. Jordan has been dating Becca Ramsey for two months. Last week, he made it to third base with her, and he's been bragging about it ever since. Adam asked Hayley Braddock to Homecoming, but she turned him down in favor if Shea Rodowsky. And Byron, watching Curtis Schaller bench press in the weight room during gym, realizes he would rather make it to third base with him than Hayley or Becca.
He's never kept a secret from his brothers before. He's never kept a secret this long from anyone. It's bubbling up inside him, desperate to be told, and he feels like he's going to be sick if he can't confide in someone.
His friends at school are Adam and Jordan's friends as well, so all of them are out of the question. If he told any of them, his brothers would know by lunchtime, and the rest of Stoneybrook would by the end of the day. His parents would probably be cool, he figures, but the triplets never tell their parents something that all three of them don't know. Byron isn't about to break their code of honor. It's only in a fit of desperation that he remembers Jeff.
They haven't written to each other in a long time. Byron sent the last postcard the summer before their freshman year started. Jeff never wrote back. Byron doesn't blame him. He figures that Jeff has probably been busy. He knows he has.
He writes the letter during English, while they're supposed to be drafting an essay on Julius Caesar.
Dear Jeff,Hi. It's been a long time since we've written. You probably don't even remember me. I'm just writing to you because I have a secret and I feel like I have to tell someone. There's nobody here I can tell about this.
I'm gay.
Adam and Jordon don't know. I think they'd be disgusted if they did. Are you? Actually, never mind. If you are, please don't tell me. I don't think I want to know. If it grosses you out, just throw this letter away. It's stupid of me to be writing to you anyway. We haven't talked in years.
Don't feel like you have to write back or anything. I understand if you don't want to after this.
Sincerely,
ByronP.S.Even if you do hate me, please don't tell anyone in Stoneybrook.
It takes three days for him to work up the nerve to mail the letter. When he does, he walks it to the blue mail bin on the corner, because he knows if he sticks it in the box at home, he'll wimp out and retrieve it. As it is, Byron paces in front of the mail bin for five minutes before he forces himself to shove the letter through the slot. When it drops, he feels sick, but also curiously relieved. Whatever happens, at least he's told somebody. And what he said in the letter was true – he and Jeff hadn't talked in years. Losing him wouldn't hurt as much as losing one of his other friends, or worse, his brothers.
Adam, Byron, and Jordan are playing catch in the backyard when the phone rings that Saturday. From inside the house, he hears it, then a stampede of feet as the girls run towards it. Margo and Vanessa practically live on the phone these days. But a few minutes later, the back door opens, and Vanessa steps outside, a grumpy expression on her face as she holds out the hand-held phone.
"Byron! It's for you!"
He takes it from her with a little frown. No one ever calls for him. From the yard, Adam and Jordan are watching curiously. He shrugs at them, and brings the phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Byron?" a nervous-sounding voice says at the other end of the line. "Hey! Um, it's me. Jeff."
The shock hits him like a brick wall. He freezes, then stumbles into the house, hurrying towards the pantry which is the only place to have real privacy in their house.
"Hi!" he says, fumbling and nervous as he closes the door behind him.
"Listen," Jeff says. "I got your letter."
Of course he did. Byron grimaces, and rests his forehead against a row of spaghetti-o cans, hoping that if Jeff is going to call him a pervert, he'll at least get it over with quickly. "Oh," he babbles. "Listen, I'm sorry about that. It's just –"
"Byron!" Jeff interrupts. "Dude, it's okay! Honesty. It's fine."
"Really?" he asks.
"Yeah," Jeff says. "It doesn't matter. I mean, you're still you, right?"
"Yeah," Byron whispers, feeling his throat go tight. Because his life is shit, Jeff, of course, notices his breath hitch.
"Oh my God," he says. "Are you crying?"
"No!" Byron insists, wiping his eyes. "No, I'm just," he swallows, shoulders shaking. "Thank you," he finishes weakly. "For not caring."
Silence on the other end. Then Jeff asks, "Do you really think your brothers would freak out?"
"I know they would," Byron says miserably. "You should hear them. They're always going on about how gay everything is."
"But you guys were, like, the Three Muskateers!" Jeff protests.
"That was a long time ago," Byron says. "We're not kids anymore, Jeff."
"No," Jeff agrees after a moment. "I guess not." For a moment, there's an awkward silence. Then Jeff sighs. "I should probably go before Dad yells at me for the phone bill," he says.
"Okay," Byron says. "Thanks for calling."
"No problem!" Jeff says, sounding more relaxed than he has this whole conversation. "And Byron?"
"Hmm."
"If you ever need to talk or whatever, I'm here. Okay?"
* * *
After the phone call, Byron's life doesn't change. Not really. He still watches other boys discreetly in the locker room. He still worries about what his brothers would say if they learned his secret. But some of the pressure has eased off his chest. He knows he'll be too mortified to ever take Jeff up on his offer to talk, but it helps knowing that he can. It helps having someone, even someone on the opposite coast, know who he really is.
But the week after Jeff's phone call, Mallory drops a letter in his lap on her way back from the mailbox. It's addressed to him, in Jeff's loopy handwriting.
Byron,Hi! I kind of suck at returning letters these days, but I thought I'd try this pen pal thing again. How are things in Stoneybrook? Things are ok here. School sucks, and my stepmom is driving me crazy, but I'm having fun. My friends and I go rollerblading a lot, and I'm learning to play the guitar. What's new in your world?
TTYL
Jeff
It isn't much – just a few lines, but Byron's eyes tear up anyway because of everything Jeff didn't say. The message between the lines is clear, as obvious as if it were written in large, red marker. Jeff knows and doesn't care. He still wants to be Byron's friend.
The End