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The Dalton Musketeers

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They'd started the conversation, or tried to, in the hall commons. Blaine stood up, rolled his eyes at his roommates, and gone back to the nicest triple on the campus. Wes and David stared at each other for a moment, sighed, and followed him.

They were actually a little surprised that Blaine was waiting for them. "Look, I figured we were going to have this conversation a year or so ago, but sit down."

"A year ago?" David looked confused. He checked Wes's face, and it wasn't just him.

"Kurt just transferred here two weeks ago," Wes said.

Blaine blushed a little. "Yeah, I know. And I know you guys think we should get together, but … I like him. He's a great guy, and, I know this sounds dumb…"

David said, "Which means whatever you say next is completely off limits for teasing."

Blaine nodded. "I can be gay with him in a way that I can't around you guys. He's a friend. The kind I've needed for awhile."

Wes said, "Don't worry. We know you're not saying we're not good enough, but more like, I can't really geek out about battle-bots with you guys. I have other friends for that."

"Yeah. I can see that he's cute, but I'm not attracted."

David frowned. "I watched you flirt outrageously with him, on key, within five minutes of meeting him."

"Because I'm a flirt and you guys don't exactly provide much practice. And he looked so lonely that, maybe I shouldn't have, but I think he needed it, too."

"That is a little screwed up. But he did lose the deer-meet-headlights expression pretty fast once we started to sing." Wes leaned back across his bed and got comfortable. "I'm still not sure how that translates to having this conversation a year ago, though."

"Just because two young men happen to like kissing other young men, it doesn't mean they want to kiss each other. That conversation. Kurt's not my physical type."

"And from the blush you're sporting, I am going to demand we know what your type is." David's grin was wide.

Wes agreed. "It's not like you don't know what we like in women. Hell, you fixed both of us up with our current girlfriends."

David said, "Wes, I've told you before. Everyone has a secret superpower: it's just that most are completely ineffective for crime fighting. Blaine's is obviously matchmaking. For everyone but himself -- just like Batman can't beat himself up."

"Yeah, it's sad." Wes turned to Blaine. "So, bro, what kind of man should we be trying to find for you?"

"I'm such a cliché. I like someone a little rougher -- broad hands, deep voice, good muscles -- not gym rat, but solid -- and, of course, a big…"

"TMI!" came out in unison from his laughing roommates.

"Just remember that the next time you guys wax eloquent about your girlfriends' attributes. I don't want to know about perky breasts anymore than you want to know about big cocks."

They threw their pillows at him, but he'd ducked too quickly.

***
A couple of weeks later, Jeff, who was in more than one class with Kurt, asked Blaine if it was okay to ask Kurt out.

Blaine questioned him nearly as thoroughly as Kurt's father might, and said sure. He also gave Jeff the "don't make the straight guys envy us" lecture, the "these are the lines with the administration" lecture -- which every gay boarding student got at some point -- and the very particular "if you hurt Kurt you won't see your senior year" lecture before sending young Jeff off to woo Dalton's most recent transfer student.

Their extremely cute relationship lasted until late January. The break-up was a relief to most of the boarding students because their dental bills were going up from the sweetness.

The main thing David and Wes noticed was that Jeff didn't come hang out with them anymore. Kurt still did, their little lunch and study hall trio had become a quartet pretty immediately when Kurt transferred, but Jeff wasn't there anymore.

Over a Saturday morning Risk game, David waded in where the others had feared to. "Kurt, why is Jeff no longer your loyal puppy?"

Kurt, currently Tsar of all the Russias after his last move, rolled his eyes and stretched out a bit in his chair. "Partially because of remarks like that. He asked me to give up my friendship with you guys right after we watched The Three and Four Musketeers movies. He said he realized you guys were the musketeers, I was probably D'Artagnan, which meant the best he could hope for was Planchet." Kurt shook his head. "I have Mercedes and, really, most of the other members of my old Glee club visiting on weekends or I go down there, and you guys. It's not that I don't like my classmates, but they're a bit…"

"Stodgy?" Wes supplied.

"The mot juste. Jeff and I didn't have a lot in common other than sex."

Three people coughed on their drinks at that remark.

Kurt waved his hand airily and said, "Don't worry. I didn't debauch him. But I think I might want a little bit more than hot make out sessions, cold showers, and holding hands in the hall."

David ruffled his hair, much to Kurt's annoyance, and Wes said, "It's sweet that you think you could debauch anyone."

***
When Kurt left to go meet up with Artie and Sam for an afternoon movie, Blaine elected to go to the library and work on his term paper for sociology. That left Wes and David alone in their room since the commons had been overrun by seniors planning their class trip.

"Is it just me or did Blaine walk around school like a cloud was over his head for several weeks?"

Wes thought a moment before answering. "A cloud that seems to have dissipated since young Mister Hummel is no longer sucking face with Planchet."

"And I would swear Kurt was looking right at Blaine when he was talking about making out," David said.

"Yes, there was definitely a flirtatious vibe, and it looked to me like Blaine was returning it."

"We should get them together."

Wes shook his head. "If the physical spark isn't there, it would just hurt both of them."

"I could have sworn you were in the room while we were playing Risk. Because all I could feel was sparks being given off by those two."

"You speak sooth, but those are emotional sparks. I've got girls in my life like that. I even dated a couple, but, if the physical isn't there, it just stops at friendship."

By mutual agreement, they turned to their books and studied.

About an hour later, David looked over and waited for Wes to finish his sentence. When Wes put his pen down, he said, "We don't know that Kurt doesn't meet Blaine's requirements. I mean, he said something about broad hands, right?"

"Yes." Wes seemed dubious.

"Well, Kurt may use his hands delicately, but they aren't small hands."

"Which is one out of four, and I'm not finding out about number four on that list for him."

David scowled and said, "If we can find out about the other two, I think we can trust Blaine to make any discoveries on that front."

***
It was at least three weeks before someone else asked Kurt out -- at least as far as the Musketeers knew. This guy was a senior, and even Wes and David knew he had a bit of a fuck 'em and leave 'em reputation among the gay kids at the school -- which wouldn't be so bad if Josh weren't the type who bragged about his conquests.

David and Wes bodily restrained Blaine when they came in on Josh talking about how sweet Kurt's mouth had felt sucking him off. This meant neither of them were free to head Kurt off from coming into the room.

Josh had his back to the door, so he wasn't prepared for Kurt's peal of laughter.

When he turned around and saw Kurt, Josh went pale. Kurt didn't even make eye-contact, he looked at the guys Josh was talking to and said, "If I'd been able to find his cock, I might have sucked him off…" His voice lowered about an octave, "and it wouldn't have been sweet." Kurt spun on his heel disdainfully and walked out.

David and Wes thought they could let go once they felt Blaine's shoulders shake with laughter. They ended up grabbing the back of his blazer before he could actually reach Josh and dragging him out of the room.

Kurt was waiting for him, them, really, outside the door to their room. They swept him in with them and Kurt ended up on Wes's bed between Blaine and Wes. David sat at the desk and watched as Kurt relaxed into Blaine's shoulder.

"I knew his reputation." Kurt sighed. "I just thought maybe I could get some experience. Jeff was nice, but we didn't … and Josh… I guess I thought someone with his reputation might be good at it."

David noticed Blaine was stroking Kurt's forehead with his fingertips and every pass seemed to make Kurt a little less tense. It was sweet, especially with the occasional kisses to the temple Blaine was giving him.

"Josh didn't cross any lines, did he?" Wes asked.

"Other than saying we went a lot farther than we actually did? No. When I didn't like kissing him, I thought it was my fault, so I went on another date. Turns out he just can't kiss, or at least not the way I like it. But if he's saying I'll get on my knees for anyone who asks, it explains why a couple of the guys I thought were straight have seemed interested."

"I feel I must defend the honor of straight men everywhere and remind you we're not all pigs," David said.

Kurt shrugged. "These guys weren't pigs. They just think I'm easy." He sighed and relaxed into the comfort of the two men on the bed with him. "I might be easy. I just haven't had the chance to find out."

Wes patted his leg. "If it turns out you are, remember to use protection. Your father and I worry," he said looking at David.

"I already have a Dad, thank you. I'll adopt you guys as honorary uncles if you like." He sat up and kissed Blaine and then Wes on their cheeks. "I need to head to the library. Thanks for the comfort."

Blaine kissed his temple one last time. "Any time, Kurt."

David said, "I checked out the wrong book the other day, so I'll head to the library with you, if that's all right."

Kurt kissed his cheek, too. "That's fine."

When they got to one of the stairway nooks, David stopped and pulled Kurt into the window seat. "This is the best spot," he said.

Kurt stretched out at one end and said, "For what?"

"Everyone can see us talking, but thanks to some weird acoustic effect that we studied in physics, no one can hear. I'm pretty sure you aren't going to the library, so why don't you just tell Uncle David everything."

"About what?"

"Anything you like. You were looking very relaxed and suddenly you just had to go to the library. Was it talking about Josh?" David took in the slight headshake as Kurt stared out the window. "Blaine?"

"It was just comfort, so I thought it was better to depart before I spoiled the line of my clothes."

David giggled. "Only you would use that phrase as a euphemism for sporting wood."

"Which is also a euphemism."

"So you felt relaxed and safe and it made you a little horny. No judgment."

"Some guy stroking my forehead shouldn't…" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"'Some guy' maybe not, but it was Blaine and he's magic like that -- at least where you're concerned. Talk to me."

"I'd like to, but it's like telling Wes, too."

"We work better when we share the brain. Just be glad we're the good kind of folie a deux. And, I promise," David said, "Nothing gets back to Blaine."

Kurt looked out the window again and finally turned to the older boy. "He smells so good. I thought it was his cologne or his soap, but it isn't. I know we're friends. I need one. He needs one like me. But as good as it felt just to have Wes's hand on my leg and my head on Blaine's shoulder, it was his scent."

"My ex-girlfriend, smelled like curry to me. It was a real, intimate turn-on. It happens." He thought for a minute. "What's Blaine smell like?"

"My mom taught me to sew, and I used to have trouble threading needles. The trick is to use beeswax to stiffen the end to poke through the hole -- and, wow, is that dirtier as an adult."

David laughed.

"But the beeswax has this scent like warmth and honey, and, I swear to you, Blaine smells just like it."

"You are impossibly sweet. I firmly believe Aramis smells like beeswax."

"You're Aramis -- always plotting. Wes is so protective, he has to be Porthos. Blaine is Athos because Athos is the sexy one who's sworn off women."

"Whatever you say, D'Artagnan." He patted Kurt's leg. "You could make the first move, you know."

Kurt shook his head. "Not without some indication he wants me to make it. I can't do to Blaine what Karofsky did to me."

"There's a difference. If you kiss Blaine and it doesn't work, it would be a 'no harm, no foul, let's go get a coffee' moment. If it does, Wes and I will get you a room at the Westerville Inn to consummate your passion."

"David, if you and Wes really want to help, find Blaine a boyfriend. If it means I can't be D'Artagnan anymore, I understand. I just want him happy."

"You do martyr very well." David rolled his eyes, and then looked at Kurt more closely. "But I believe you about wanting to see him happy. If you need to back away a bit, I get it. Wes and I will haunt your dreams and take you for ice cream on Saturdays because we like you, even without Blaine in the mix."

Kurt smiled. "I appreciate it. I should get back to my room. I have some studying I need to do. For real, this time."

David nodded then stopped him. "Oh, yeah. Your hall prefect asked me to speak to you about teams. You still haven't gone out for one. It's a requirement. They might not let you back next year or put you on probation, if you don't do it."

"This whole mens sana in corpore sano thing is too much."

"If I may make a suggestion, sculls need people on the house teams. The morning practices are ungodly early, but it would fulfill the requirement and help the house."

"Sure, David, just let me know how and when to audition." Kurt stood and headed off, clapping David on the shoulder as he walked past.

***
Wes and David discussed it. Then they found Blaine a boyfriend. Well, not really, they just nudged him toward David's girlfriend's gay cousin when he came to a Warbler's concert.

Peter seemed nice enough, not that they had much chance to get to know him. He was mostly the back of a head they saw grinding up against Blaine. Wes did manage to issue him an invitation to their Saturday morning board game death-match, and David was pleased to think that they might soon get to know more about the young man -- like his eye color.

Kurt brought sweet rolls and made the coffee on Saturday before David and Wes came in. They set up the board for Ticket to Ride while Kurt finished pouring coffee.

"There's five today Kurt," David said.

"I'd heard. No Risk today?"

Wes sipped his coffee and sighed. "According to Blaine, Pete can only stay for an hour or two, so no long campaigns."

"It's probably for the best. I have at least two exams I should be cramming for."

"Need help with Calculus?" David asked.

"That and European History, Mister Proutty's study guide said we needed to know about the rise of the Dutch Republic, but I can't seem to find anything in my notes or the textbook -- it's all Reformation, Sun King, and Charles II."

"Bring me another cup of coffee, and I'll tutor you on that," Wes said. "Proutty skipped the French Revolution when I took it last year. We went from Louis the fifteenth to Napoleon in our lectures and had to cover the bit in between on our own. It's a big bit."

Blaine came in with Pete in tow, and they started their game. The moves were slow at first as they acquired the cards they needed to start playing their trains. Pete cracked jokes, stole cards from other players, and generally made himself manically entertaining. When the game ended, with no definite winner, Blaine and Pete headed out for the rest of the day.

David watched until they'd gone through the hall door, not just the common door and said, "They're not going to the mall. They're going to maul each other. Miranda says Blaine's been spending a lot of afternoons over at Pete's."

"Why not? It's easier than risking detention or suspension by getting caught here." Kurt did his best to sound blasé.

"You okay?" Wes gave him an assessing look.

"Well, I'd heard most of the dirty jokes before, and, frankly, Puck told them better. But Blaine seemed happy…"

"Horny," David said.

"One or the other. It's just…"

"Hurts that it's not you?" Wes asked.

Kurt shook his head. "I'm not going to pretend I never hoped, but no, it's more like… was Pete snobby?"

They got the game packed up and started back to their room, scooping Kurt in with them. The three of them sprawled on Wes's bed together.

David chuckled and said, "I'm sorry about that. Miranda's great. Her Dad's pretty cool, other than worried about me dating his baby girl. But her mom is the kind who thinks anyone who can't trace his or her ancestry back to the Conquest…"

"And that's the Roman Conquest of Britain. Those Normans were just jumped up parvenus…" Wes said.

"Is not worth knowing. Pete's from that side of the family, and he's got that particular patrician mix of crudeness and arrogance that shows up occasionally," David finished.

"So there were some digs at me for being on scholarship."

"Just like that one affirmative action joke was doubtless for my benefit," David said.

"It could have been for me." Wes was indignant.

David smiled benignly and said, "No, no, your stereotype is so smart that you take away placements from worthy white students. My stereotype is that I wouldn't have gotten in if they didn't have quotas for my skin color -- thus taking away a placement from a worthy white student."

"Well, I'm white. Does that make my scholarship all right in his mind?"

David and Wes both shook their heads sadly.

"No. Only rich people are worthy," David said. "And you have to remember, Pete is the 'worthy' kid we're talking about. His grades and test scores weren't high enough to get in to Dalton -- and he's a legacy."

Kurt winced. "Oh. I thought Blaine liked brains."

David patted Kurt's leg and said, "He does, but hormones doth make chumps of us all sometimes. Personally, I give it three more weeks."

Wes nodded. "They'll have had to come up for air to talk by then."

***
The following Thursday, The Warblers who boarded finished their rehearsal and went to the day students' cars. They had group permission to go out for pizza as long as they were back by nine. Blaine had called Pete when it was announced, and Pete was waiting for him in the parking lot.

There was a grinding noise from one of the cars, and people gathered around.

"Shit, my Dad's going to kill me. This was just repaired last week."

"Jameson, stop abusing that car." Kurt called out. He peeled off his blazer, rolled his tie into the pocket and rolled up his sleeves. "Damn, it's freezing out here, does anyone have a sweatshirt they don't care about?"

David opened his gym bag and threw a sweatshirt at Kurt who took off his dress shirt and put it on over his undershirt.

"Thanks, David. Now then, Jameson, pop the hood."

"Uh, my dad says I should only take it to a certified mechanic."

Kurt got his wallet out of his bag and pulled out a card. "I've been a union member for a year. Call my local. They'll tell you what I'm certified in -- and, trust me, BMW is on the list."

Wes whispered in Blaine's ear, "Kurt joined the house sculls. It seems to have filled him out a bit."

David rolled his eyes at Wes then whispered to both of them, "Even straight guys know sculling gives a guy a good body. All that ab work."

"And the shoulders and pecs," Wes added, nodding.

"Mind you, he looked pretty good in his cheerleader uniform before he even came to Dalton," David said.

"Kurt was a cheerleader?" Blaine asked.

"Imagine my disappointment that he didn't wear one of those carwash skirts."

David and Blaine both looked at Wes askance.

He explained, "I may be straight, but even I can see those legs go all the way up."

Kurt was pulling himself under the car with a flashlight to check something in the undercarriage. He swore loudly about getting his pants dirty.

Pete came up and snorted at that remark. "I'm sure it's not the first time he's gotten his knees dirty. There has to be a reason your headmaster let him in."

David tapped one of the other Warblers on the shoulder and said, "Keep Blaine back." It took three of them.

David joined Wes who was looming over Pete and saying. "That zero tolerance policy extends to visiting assholes. Get off our school grounds before we call the administration."

"Your name will be on the banned list with security by morning," David added.

Pete laughed. "Come on, it's just a joke. I'm as gay as he is."

David said, "We don't give a damn about that."

"We do care that you are trying to insult a friend of ours," Wes said. "Now get out before we let Blaine loose on you. He doesn't take it well when people he likes are hurt."

Pete looked between the two and saw Blaine glowering at him. "I'll go." He turned to David, "Don't expect Miranda to be home next time you call her."

"If Miranda breaks up with me because of this, she isn't the woman I thought she was," David said.

He and Wes escorted Pete to the gate and reported him to security.

When they got back to the car, Jameson was practically offering to have Kurt's babies. He'd straightened out an issue with the garage that had done the shoddy work in the first place, so Jameson didn't have to pay for the parts, and his Dad would pick Kurt up for his weekend home the next evening with the flat bed tow truck so they could work on it and have it back to Jameson when Kurt returned on Sunday night.

Blaine was looking at Kurt like he was water in the desert.

David and Wes looked at each other and discreetly low fived.

***
Their Saturday morning Risk game was nowhere near as much fun without Kurt. Blaine was sulking, not over losing Pete, but over having wasted any time at all with him.

Finally, Wes said, "The time we worry about your wasting is the time you could have been with Kurt."

"I told you guys…"

David shook his head. "Had we not seen your tongue unfurl like a wolf in a Tex Avery cartoon when you saw him in a thin t-shirt, we might still buy the 'he's not my physical type' argument."

Wes caught Blaine's eye. "David's right. Whatever your intellect is telling you, your emotions are tied up in him, and I'm pretty sure your dick wants to be, too."

"Very eloquent," Blaine said.

"And Kurt looks at you like you're chocolate and rainbows and sunshine," David said.

Blaine opened his mouth to say something.

Wes said, "Don't even think about denying it. He does."

"Let me ask you something, Blaine," David said. "What does Kurt smell like?"

"Ginger. He smells like ginger tea."

"Wes, call Celia and ask if she can drive us to Lima and back before curfew."

Wes was dialing before David finished the sentence.

***
Burt Hummel came out to the counter when the three young men entered the garage. "I take it you're looking for Kurt? Good to see you again, Blaine."

Blaine said, "We thought we'd find out when he finished his shift."

There was a long pause.

Finally, Blaine said, "Mister Hummel, these are my roommates David and Wes."

"Good to meet you boys. Aren't you going to see him again tomorrow? I mean, I love my son, but it took me at least three days to really start missing him."

"While we do miss Kurt," David said, "Our actual purpose was to get young love off the ground. We were afraid if it waited until tomorrow, Blaine here would have found another damn, er, dumb excuse."

"Plus it gave us time with our girlfriends during the drive," Wes added.

Burt looked at the three clean-cut young men. "Young love." He turned to Blaine and assessed him.

The young man blushed, but said, "Yes, sir. At least, I hope Kurt will have me."

David and Wes high fived.

"Well, he's out with Mercedes until about six. He finished his shift here a couple of hours ago."

Wes and David looked at each other.

Wes said, "Celia and I would love it if you and Miranda would join us on a double date this evening."

David said, "Miranda and I accept. Sorry, Blaine, you're on your own for dinner."

Burt laughed and shook his head. "See, I like that Kurt's going to a school where the kids are smart. Blaine, why don't you join us for dinner?"

Blaine regarded his friends skeptically, and said, "That would be lovely, Mister Hummel."

"Lovely." Burt raised an eyebrow at the word, but nodded. "I suppose it will be. What time will you gentlemen be picking Blaine up? I know you have a strict curfew."

"Nine o'clock." David and Wes looked at each other and said, "Jinx."

***
When Kurt got home, Burt saw his face light up at seeing Blaine. The two young men stayed upstairs with the family -- Kurt helping Carole with dinner, Blaine watching March madness with Burt.

At dinner, they talked about the McKinley glee club's trip to New York, the house rivalries at Dalton, and general things about life and work for Burt and Carole. They lingered over the conversation and all of them were surprised to realize it was nine o'clock when the doorbell rang.

David was waiting on the stoop when Kurt opened the door, and Blaine grabbed his coat and gloves to head out. Just as he crossed the threshold he turned back and pulled Kurt in for a quick kiss on the lips.

"I'll see you after study hall tomorrow night."

Kurt nodded and watched them go down the path.

His father was looking at him as he closed the door. "That Blaine seems like a good guy."

Kurt grinned and said, "Thank you, Dad."

***
David's only remark was, "We drove a hundred and eighty miles for that little kiss? Dude."

***
On Friday and Saturday nights all boarding students who didn't have weekend passes had to sleep on the halls, but as long as they told their prefects which room they'd be in, no one cared if, for instance, Jim stayed in John's room for an all-night Halo game. It was generally considered bad form for the gay boarders to take advantage of this, but when it came to Blaine and Kurt, David and Wes didn't care.

They spoke to Kurt's roommate and asked his best friend, a day student, to invite him over for the weekend. The invitation was cleared by Tuesday, much to their relief. Plan B had been inviting him to play Halo all night so Blaine and Kurt could have some privacy, and neither of them liked Halo.

It seemed like the right thing to do. When Kurt walked into their common room after study hall on Sunday, Blaine had walked up to meet him and told the guys not to knock on their door until just before ten so that Kurt could get to his own hall before lock down.

They'd knocked at nine-fifty-five and seen Kurt walk out of the room with his eyes dilated, his shirt untucked, and lips that looked red and sensitive. Blaine looked like he was leaning on the desk for support when they went in.

They glanced at each other, and Wes said, "We'll be back in half an hour."

"Thanks, guys."

They'd shut the door behind them and began plotting.

***
"You know your roommates are ridiculous?"

Blaine nuzzled against Kurt's neck, "I know, but they got us two nights together."

"You're not going to recite the 'don't make the straight guys envy us lecture' or the 'these are the lines the administration won't let us cross' lecture, are you?"

"No. I'm going to kiss you and sleep beside you and do anything else you want to do."

"So the Julie Andrews sing-along is on, then?"

"If I can hold you while we're singing. You have everything I want," he said simply.

Kurt laughed softly and relaxed against Blaine. "Julie Andrews can wait," he said, and pulled Blaine to him for a kiss.