Work Header

Hagrid's Big Problem [fic + podfic]

Work Text:


Hagrid breathed out deeply as he closed the door to his hut. Another seventh year student had snuck out of the castle at night to visit him. It was usually a girl but sometimes it was a boy, like tonight. Hagrid had never had any trouble seeing the beauty in any person regardless of their gender but they were all just students to him. They weren't even really interested in him, anyway.

It happened at least once almost every year. After all these years he couldn’t shake the rumours that had plagued him since he was a lad. To them he was just a freak and a fetish, not even really a person in his own right. It was always the same: they pretended to be interested in talking to him, to see how he was doing. Before long things would change and they would start... flirting with him. If you could call those sorts of aggressive advances flirting.

Hagrid missed Harry Potter and his friends. Hermione Granger had finished her final year of Hogwarts and they were all gone now. Hagrid wasn’t looking forward to this year.

Fang let out a snort at Hagrid's feet. Hagrid leaned over and used one of his large hands to pat Fang on the head. The dog was dreaming in the middle of a nap.

"Good boy, Fang," Hagrid said.

He pulled himself out of his chair, being careful not to disturb the dog. He had an appointment to attend to. Hagrid exited his hut and made his way off the school grounds towards Hogsmeade.

The boy who had visited Hagrid that night had oddly reminded him a lot of the first student who had come to visit him over twenty years ago: a dark haired and blue eyed Slytherin girl named Madeleine Yaxley.

Hagrid had found her at his door smiling devilishly up at him; her cold blue eyes appearing quite dangerous in the moonlight. To her credit she didn't even bother pretending what she was there for, unlike most of the other students who came after her. Hagrid had always felt uncomfortable around the girl as he did all of the students who ended up serving You Know Who. And anyway, he never cared for Slytherin, and not just because he was a Gryffindor. There was something not right about that house, going all the way back to old Salazar Slytherin himself.

That night Yaxley’s appearance had really struck fear into him. There was something about her gaze that seemed predatory and he had realized what was about to happen before it happened.

"Hello, Hagrid," Maddy said, her voice feigning pleasantry.
"Hello, Miss Yaxley," Hagrid responded, cautiously.

"Wha' are yeh doin' outta the castle at this hour?"

Without answering and without permission Maddy pushed her way into his hut.
She turned around to face him, although in truth it wasn't his face she was focused on.

"You're a big man, Hagrid,” Maddy said.

She moved forward and extended a hand towards Hagrid's groin. Hagrid stood there petrified as Maddy dragged a single finger down his crotch, smiling wide and saying, "Huge, I bet."

Hagrid pulled back in fear. It had been a very long time since anyone had touched him like that, and he felt himself uncomfortably stirring in his pants.

"Yeh're a student! Yeh need ter get back inside the castle!"

"Oh come on Hagrid," Maddy said, sounding as innocent as possible as she grabbed between his legs hard and Hagrid felt himself stiffen against his will.

Maddy's cold eyes went wide and she looked up at Hagrid.

"That's one hell of a wand you've got there, Hagrid. It’s as big as my arm! Very impressive. I wonder what’s in the core?”

She began to rub it but Hagrid pushed her off.

"Yeh've gotta go. Now!" Hagrid demanded, pointing at the door to his hut.

Madeleine scoffed, sneered and called out, "Freak!" leaving in a huff.

Hagrid wasn't sure what had inspired her to come down to his hut that night but he was grateful she never came back. Later that night to his own shame Hagrid wanked, unable to deal with the sexual frustration that came with being touched after so long. When he came he barely noticed the pleasure but was happy to have the relief.

The boy had had just visited him had been a Ravenclaw. He faintly resembled Yaxley and was just as aggressive and unwilling to to obtain Hagrid’s consent before touching him. But Hagrid was a lot older now and he knew how to shut the students down before things got out of hand.

In the years that followed Miss Yaxley’s intrusion, many more students and sometimes even teachers had come to him, with the intention of getting a feel or a look at his cock. Hagrid was a half-giant,  a secret he had successfully managed to keep until to that blasted Rita Skeeter came around. He had felt his personhood become trivialized over the years as the only part of him that anyone ever seemed interested in was not a part Hagrid considered to be that important to who he was.

This had left him uncomfortable in his own body. At times he was nearly disgusted by his cock, even though he knew it was just a natural part of his body. He didn’t want to be a spectacle or a fetish. He just wanted to be a person like anyone else.

Hagrid passed the gates to Hogsmeade, though his mind was barely on his destination right now. Hagrid’s mind was further back, remembering the first time he had been touched in a consensual sexual manner. He had only been a young lad back then.

He was just twenty and assistant to the gamekeeper, Lendisius Ogg. Hagrid had his eye on eighteen year old seventh year Hufflepuff Pomona Sprout for some time now. Hagrid was attracted to her cheery demeanor and she was frequently covered in dirt, which gave her an earthiness that appealed to Hagrid. She was friendly to Hagrid, unlike most students who always seemed afraid of him, or just wanted to gawk at him.

Hagrid wasn't much older than her, although they weren't exactly peers. He wasn't sure of what the moral or ethical implications of the assistant to the gamekeeper being in a relationship with a student might be and at the time he didn't really care. He was infatuated though he didn't believe she saw anything in him. But over time things changed and Pomona kept finding time to see Hagrid when she could and somehow Hagrid had gathered up the courage to ask her out. To his great surprise she said yes.

They did their best to keep their relationship a secret but at nearly twice the size of a normal man it was hard for Hagrid to hide anything he did. Most of their secret meetings occurred in what would someday be Hagrid's hut but at the time was still Ogg's hut. Pomona had to find a chair to stand on in order to reach Hagrid's face to kiss him as she was rather short, even for a witch.

Every time Hagrid felt himself becoming very aroused his insecurities came flooding in. He had seen other boys changing during his three years he was a student at Hogwarts and the other boys... were quite smaller than he was in every way. Having not really ever known any other half-giants he wasn't sure what was supposed to be normal. At age twenty he was fully grown and his cock was a little over twelve inches long and nearly as thick as a Beater's bat. For years he had worried that he would never be physically compatible anyone he might want to have sex with.

While making out one night while Ogg was busy roaming the grounds, Hagrid was shocked when Pomona reached down between his legs and rubbed his hardness through his pants. He gasped and froze, not sure what to do as her strokes came harder and faster. She looked up at him and said, "Let's make love, Rubeus."

Hagrid wasn't used to being called by his given name but it was nice nonetheless. He wasn't even sure if he knew how to ‘make love’ but he was willing to give it a try. Laughing, Pomona hopped off the chair and ran into Ogg's bedroom. When Hagrid entered the room she was already naked and kneeling on the bed. Hagrid wasn't sure what to do but Pomona beckoned him over to the bed. It obviously wasn't built for a half-giant but Pomona's head was level with his groin, which excited him greatly.

"Is this your first time Hagrid?" she asked him, looking up.

"Yes," Hagrid answered. "Is it yers?"

Pomona shook her head, smiled, and said, "No."

It didn't matter to Hagrid either way. He was far too worried that this just wasn't going to work. Pomona proceeded to pull down his pants and she gasped at the sight of his cock.

"Rubeus... that's... giant," she said, completely in shock.

Hagrid wanted to burst out and say that was because he was part giant but couldn't find the courage. Hagrid began to feel ashamed and tried to pull up his pants.

“No, it’s all right,” Pomona said with a small smile and began to stroke the shaft with both her hands, as best she could.

She was obviously struggling to wrap her hands around it. The sensation was fantastic and Hagrid released a low groan. She began to plant small kisses up the massive shaft, starting at the base and working her way slowly to the head which she then tried to suck but she really couldn't get much of it in her mouth.

She instead focused on stroking the base of the shaft with her hands and licking and kissing the head. Finally, she stopped and laid back on the bed and began to stimulate her own hot and slick flesh two fingers. Hagrid breathed heavily as he stroked himself over her. Pomona bit her bottom lip and flipped over onto all fours.

"Okay, you can try to put it in Rubeus, but please be slow and gentle," she said.
Hagrid was nervous as her entrance seemed far too small to even house a cock half his size.
"I don' think it's gonna fit," Hagrid said.
Still touching herself, Pomona responded, “It can stretch. Just go slow.”
Hagrid nodded, appreciating her confidence and reluctantly moved forward, cock in hand. He guided the head toward her entrance and made a small push.
"Ow," she said.

He pulled back.
"No, don't stop trying. Just go more slowly."
"I'm tryin’.”

He again positioned himself and made the smallest thrust he could manage.
Pomona recoiled a little and pulled away.

"I'll jus' go," Hagrid said, embarrassed.

He pulled up his pants and scrambled to leave.
"Wait, Rubeus, we don’t have to-“ but Hagrid left the hut before he could hear the rest of what she had to say.

Hagrid marched off away from the hut and into the Forbidden Forest. Tears filled his eyes. He felt so disgusted and ashamed of his body. So many people, especially students, had called him a freak and at that moment he decided that maybe they were right. Maybe sex just couldn't be a part of his life. He would never find a person who could ever be physically compatible with him. And if he couldn’t have sex how would anyone ever desire to have him as a companion. The entire world seemed to revolve around sex.

He began to hear all sorts of rumours about himself in the years following that. He heard that his cock was three feet long, that it was some sort of magical creature or even that it could talk, all of which were absurd. He didn’t understand how the rumours had even got started. He refused to believe that Pomona would’ve told anyone, and anyhow she left school a few months later, only to later return as Professor of Herbology. They had remained friends but he no longer felt as comfortable around her as he did before. She tried to talk to him but he felt awkward and embarrassed, like he had done something wrong and over time she moved on.

Over the next forty years many students and even teachers would seek him out, all in the name of his massive reputation. He rejected everyone, no matter what they did or said. No one was interested in him, just his abnormally sized member.

The decades were lonely and Hagrid abandoned the idea of thinking of himself as a sexual or romantic being. Eventually, Lendisius Ogg retired and Hagrid took over as gamekeeper completely.

Hagrid was happy to stay at Hogwarts but he still sometimes dreamed about finding another living soul who would be a good companion.

Hagrid arrived in front of The Three Broomsticks. He took a deep breath and went inside. Madam Rosmerta noticed him as soon as he stepped inside, smiling and raising a hand. Hagrid walked over to her.
"Hello, Madam Rosmerta. I'll be needin' a room," Hagrid said.
"Go on up," she responded.

Hagrid nodded and went upstairs where he found a room with an open door waiting. The bed had been charmed to be large enough to easily fit him. He removed his boots, with some effort, and laid down on the bed to relax.

Hagrid first met Madam Rosmerta a couple of years before the Madeleine Yaxley incident. He immediately found her attractive, but most people did. It was no wonder The Three Broomsticks did such good business. When Rosmerta flirted with Hagrid he didn't think so much of it because Rosmerta flirted with everyone. But at the least she treated him like a person and never brought up his significant reputation.

"Hagrid, I could just get lost in that beard," she would say.

When she talked to him she sometimes put a hand on his arm or shoulder. He wasn't sure why she did it but it had made him feel good.
One night, over a decade ago, Hagrid had been at the Broomsticks all day and it was time to close up the pub and Rosmerta suggested Hagrid stay in a room at the Broomsticks, free of charge. He didn't think it was a big deal to walk back to his hut but he didn't say no. A few minutes after settling into the room there was a knock at the door. Hagrid pulled himself off the bed and opened the door to find Rosmerta standing there with a playful smile on her face and a hand on her hip.

"What's the matter, Hagrid? You act like you've never seen a pretty lady before," Rosmerta said.
"Sorry, I wasn' expectin' anyone," Hagrid replied.
"Can I come in?" she asked.
“All right,” Hagrid said, stepping aside to let her in.

Rosmerta sat on the bed and asked Hagrid, "You've been coming in here all these years and I always flirt with you but you've never once flirted back. Don't you like me?"
Hagrid felt uncomfortable, like he was being asked to testify before the Wizengamot. He cleared his throat, tried to speak but just sort of stammered.

"Here, sweetie, why don't you come lay on the bed?" Rosmerta said, standing up and giving him space to lie down.

Hagrid came over and laid back down. Rosmerta stood next to the bed and placed a hand on his head and brushed down his hair a little. Hagrid smiled up at her. She really was very pretty and so very kind.

“I do. I s’pose I do like yeh,” Hagrid said, his heart pounding as he grinned.

Rosmerta returned his grin then surprised him as she bent over and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

She pulled back and giggled. "Your beard tickled me a little," she said, then bent over for a deeper kiss.

Hagrid tensed up as he knew people were only looking for one thing but for some reason he felt like Rosmerta really liked him. Rosmerta pulled away and stepped far enough back where Hagrid could watch as she slowly removed her clothing. Hagrid couldn't help but admire her ample bosom and wide hips. She was very shapely.

"Your turn," she said and Hagrid found himself getting up and removing his clothes.

He knew this was going to go horribly wrong but he was overwhelmed with desire for Rosmerta. Something in her smile made him want to trust her.

He paused when it was time to pull down his trousers and pants, even though he knew she could see the size of his bulge already. He finally got the courage and pulled them down with one movement exposing all of him to her.

Rosmerta's eyes widened a bit and she said, "Hmm... We're going to need some extra lubrication. "

Rosmerta grabbed her wand and said, "Accio lubricant!" and she opened the door as a medium size jar that was only about  half full came flying into her hand.
Eyeing Hagrid's cock she said, "Yes, we'll need a lot of this."
"Wha' is it?" Hagrid asked, nervously.
"You're a very large man, Hagrid. There's no way you're going to get inside me without some help. This is a lubricant made from peppermint oil and leech juice with a bit of flobberworm mucus for good measure. I make it myself. It never fails when it comes to big problems. It’s better than your average lubricating potion, I assure you,” she said with a wink.

Hagrid had never even heard of lubricating potion but he was certainly curious.

"Hop back on the bed, sweetie," she requested and he complied.

She then climbed on the bed and straddled his legs just below his groin. She reached into the jar and grabbed a handful which she then rubbed up and down Hagrid's shaft, mostly the upper half. The sensation was incredible and soon Hagrid's cock was slick all over.

"Believe it or not this won't be the largest thing I've had inside me. I spent a weekend once with this wizard who insisted on experimenting with the engorgement charm. That was an experience, let me tell you. I also have this girlfriend who has a centaur fetish,” she said and Hagrid laughed.

Hagrid surprised himself by realizing he was having a nice time. Rosmerta climbed up his body, grazing his cock with the flesh between her legs on the way up. She reached his face and began to kiss him deeply. Hagrid found the feeling of her small lips on his large ones to be very arousing. Rosmerta clearly knew what she was doing and Hagrid felt his heart pound while his cock throbbed.

Rosmerta stopped kissing him and in between breaths she said, "I love your sexy mouth and this gorgeous beard. Oh, Hagrid how would you feel if I sat on your beautiful face?"
"Wha' d'you mean?" Hagrid asked, perplexed.

Speaking slowly and softly she said, "I'm asking if I can put the hot, aching flesh between my legs on your mouth and have a ride.”
"Yeh don' wanna ..." Hagrid gestured to his groin.

Rosmerta looked behind her and said, "It can wait. The lubricant will stay wet for a little while and there's plenty more left if we need it."
Hagrid smiled and nodded at her and Rosmerta pulled her pelvis to Hagrid's face. She then spread the small folds between her legs open revealing the pink flesh beneath. Hagrid had never seen parts like hers up close like this before. He was intrigued and aroused. Slowly she lowered herself directly on his mouth and began to rock up and down. Her flesh was warm and already quite wet when it landed on his mouth. She tasted tart in a pleasing sort of way.

"Move your mouth.. Use your tongue," she requested and moaned as Hagrid obliged her.

Hagrid felt a little embarrassed that he didn't really understand much about how her particular parts worked but he was thrilled to bring her pleasure anyway. Slowly, she got in sync with the movements of his tongue and began to rock faster and faster.

Moaning she said, "That feels fucking great," and Hagrid almost felt like he was going to come and was relieved when he didn't.

Meanwhile, Rosmerta's rocking had become frantic and insistent. Hagrid was startled when her legs suddenly clenched together and her hands gripped the headboard hard, letting out loud, almost pained, moans. Slowly, she relaxed and through labored breathing she laughed and said, "Well that was nice."

She glanced back at his cock. "Let's see to that now."

Rosmerta slid back down his body and positioned her now very wet entrance near the head of his cock. Using a hand to guide it inside, she very slowly slid the tip inside of her. Even with the lube her tightness was provided great resistance. Rosmerta looked at Hagrid and said, "Don't worry love. We'll get it in with minimal discomfort for the both of us."

After much pushing herself down his cock then pulling herself off she finally managed to get the head in. Hagrid was shocked but excited. Hagrid looked to Rosmerta's face to get a read on how she was feeling but her face only read of determination.

"Let's see if we can't get a bit more in," she said and began to push and pull herself on and off his cock while she used a hand to stimulate herself.

With some effort Hagrid was finally as deep inside of Rosmerta as he was ever going to get. Nearly half the shaft was inside of her and to Hagrid's surprise she was able to glide up and down his cock with more ease than he expected, thanks to the lubricant.

Rosmerta was riding Hagrid with confidence and passion. Gor once in his life Hagrid felt truly desired and attractive. Hagrid felt weird just laying there, unmoving so he took his large hands and moved them along the sides of her body, squeezing her round bottom then moving his hands to her chest where he lightly squeezed her breasts, his finger tips brushing over her hard nipples.

Rosmerta began to speed up the motion with which she moved him in and out of her while she rubbed between her legs with her fingers with increasing vigor. Hagrid could feel himself inching closer and closer to the edge and wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on.

Rosmerta moved his cock in and out of her rapidly and without missing a beat when she began to loudly moan again, her back arching hard as she clenched down on him. Hagrid could no longer hold on, his bollocks painfully tightened to him as ecstasy poured over him and his cock pulsed inside of. Rosmerta clutched an arm over her large breasts as she shuddered still with orgasm.

In moments, Rosmerta collapsed in a sweaty heap onto Hagrid's torso, breathing very heavily, his cock still inside of her but beginning to soften and feeling very sensitive. For a few minutes they lay there, tired and warm. Hagrid's cock finally slipped out of her, his groin feeling very sticky.

"Yeh wanna clean up?" Hagrid asked.
"There's no need," Rosmerta answered. "There's nothing shameful about bodily fluids."

So instead they laid there together until Hagrid passed out and when he awoke in the morning Rosmerta was back to work but she gave him a knowing smile which he appreciated.

This wasn't their final meeting of a sexual nature although they weren't all that common. He was surprised when she invited him to The Three Broomsticks that night since it had been quite some time since had last invited him. In fact, it had been shortly before the Battle of Hogwarts when they last met.

Hagrid waited with great anticipation when there was finally a knock on the door and in walked Madam Rosmerta who was closely followed by Pomona Sprout. Hagrid, who was already naked, was so startled he sat up.

"Pomona? Wha' are yeh doin' here?" Hagrid asked in shock.
"Pomona and I are friends Hagrid. I may have mentioned what a fantastic lover you are and Pomona actually spit out her drink and immediately told me all about your past together."
"Hello, Rubeus. Care to revisit old times?" she said with a wink.
"Now wai' a minute. Wha's goin' on here?" Hagrid said.
"Ménage à trois, dear Hagrid," Rosmerta said. "If you're up for it, that is. It’s perfectly fine to say no.”
"Yeh... yeh mean the three of us? Together?" Hagrid said.

Pomona smiled and Rosmerta nodded.

A few minutes later, Hagrid was sitting at the head of the bed touching himself while Pomona and Rosmerta kissed and touched each other's bodies. Rosmerta rolled onto her back and Pomona pressed her face hard into the sensitive flesh that lay between Rosmerta's thighs. Pomona clearly knew what she was doing, sending moans pouring out of Rosmerta’s mouth.

Rosmerta beckoned Hagrid to come around to the side and when he came over she reached up and grabbed his cock, moving the head to her mouth, licking and sucking it as best she could while stroking the shaft, Pomona still pleasuring her below.

They had agreed not to bother with penetration tonight because Pomona wanted to show Hagrid that sex didn’t need penetration to be enjoyable, something she had wanted to tell him all those years ago. It was about arousal, pleasure and intimacy. Penetration was just one way for those things to be expressed.

Pomona finally brought Rosmerta to a deep, shuddering climax they switched places with so that Pomona could straddle Rosmerta’s face while she did her best to pleasure Hagrid with her hands and mouth.

Once Pomona climaxed Hagrid couldn’t hold on and exploded into her mouth. Pomona made a happy sound she licked and sucked every drop of his come. With the fun at an end they three of them lay together to cuddle, both ladies draped naked over Hagrid’s large body. Hagrid was in heaven.

Once they awoke from a nap, Pomona left and Rosmerta suggested next time they invite a handsome wizard who visited the inn often to play with them to which Hagrid happily agreed, especially once she revealed the wizard in question was Minister for Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt.

Hagrid could never have imagined that after all those long years he could be having enjoyable and consensual sexual experiences that didn't just revolve around the fact that he had a huge cock. But... he had to admit that while sex was fun it wasn't all that he wanted. Deep down he wanted a partner, not just in bed but in all aspects of his life. He had found a way to make himself feel like a sexual being but there was still an empty loneliness that clung to his soul like a dementor's kiss.

He sadly remembered Olympe Maxime. She was the only other half-giant he had ever met. It seemed too good to be true and that’s because it was. Just because it would’ve been convenient didn’t mean it was destined to work out. He didn’t believe they would ever be together but he hoped that someday he could find someone who could make him feel complete.