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2014-03-22
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2014-03-22
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The Big D

Summary:

"I'm not happy," Loki doesn't say, but he doesn't have to. Hercules can see it in his eyes when he looks across the table at dinner and sees Loki piercing his steak until the blood leaks out. He feels it whenever they're tucked into bed for another sexless night and Loki rolls over so that his back facing him. He hears it in Loki's clipped tone whenever he says he'll be working late again and not to wait up for him.

Hercules' marriage is falling apart and there's nothing he can do about it.

But then there's Thor.

Notes:

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

-Pablo Neruda, "If You Forget Me"

Chapter Text

"I'm not happy," Loki doesn't say, but he doesn't have to. Hercules can see it in his eyes when he looks across the table at dinner and sees Loki piercing his steak until the blood leaks out. He feels it whenever they're tucked into bed for another sexless night and Loki rolls over so that his back facing him. He hears it in Loki's clipped tone whenever he says he'll be working late again and not to wait up for him.

Hercules' marriage is falling apart and there's nothing he can do about it.

-

"I know you see that stripper," Loki says, but he doesn't have to. Hercules consistently staggers home at least two hours later than when he should get off, including the commute, with his collar popped and hickeys on his neck. Loki's known for months, so why bring it up now?

Why indeed. Hercules knows why, after close to a year of stumbling into their room in with his shirt half open and his belt popped open, at last Loki has played his hand, but it doesn't mean he wants to acknowledge it. It's been there the entire time: the business cards for family law practicing attorneys that Loki uses as bookmarks, the weekend getaway bags that make it seem like Loki might leave and never come back, the way Loki's eyes don't crinkle when he smiles. Hercules has noticed all the signs and shoved them to the back of his mind.

"We should go together. As a couple."

Hercules shrugs because why not? His marriage is falling apart and this is the only thing he can do about it. Maybe they can both realize that and finally do what they've been skirting on for months.

-

Hercules visits a shady bar tucked away in Koreatown called Olympos and his regular stripper is a boy named Amadeus. He doesn't know if that's a stage name or not and he doesn't really care. Anything grinding on his lap and sighing out like it's the best thing he's ever had is good enough for him. The boy's dark hair reminds him of when he was younger, when Loki was younger, when Loki was in love with him and wanted his everything.

He purposely picks some place new, a joint called Valhalla in the west side, some place he's never been. For one, he doesn't care to settle a fight between Amadeus and Loki, because lord knows Loki will fight over things he doesn't want as long as he deems it his property, Hercules included.

The small part of him that chooses a new place does it for the same reason Loki voiced - that they could do this together. As a couple.

Though the likelihood of that happening is none. Loki doesn't so much as hold his arm like he used to years ago; Loki doesn't even look at him when the bouncer ushers them toward the bar; and as soon as they're in their booth and ready for the boys to come out, Loki chooses the seat opposite Hercules instead of the one next to him. Loki holds his head up, folds his hands neatly on the table, and looks everywhere but at his husband.

Hercules knows his marriage is falling apart and not even this can save it.

-

But then there's Thor.

-

"Now introducing to the stage...the Mighty Thor!" the emcee announces.

Loki scoffs and narrows his eyes. Hercules doesn't have to ask to know what Loki thinks. He could impersonate exactly what Loki is thinking in that tone he reserves for when he's criticizing his subordinates because right now Hercules Loki has to be thinking that this is the most presumptuous brat in the world. Hercules knows Loki so well and yet it's like he doesn't know him at all. He cradles the drink he ordered and takes a swig. If Loki's concerned about the crack in the glass when his grip chips the rim, he says nothing.

-

Thor is young and wild and free. He's at least half Loki's and Hercules' age, who are close enough in age even with Loki being three years older. When Thor comes on there's only a few cheap neon lights swishing back and forth over the crowd and then on the boy's form. The fog machine does little to anticipate his entrance, decked out in what is clearly a costume suit crafted to rip apart easily and hold together for the next performance. Hercules recognizes now the quality of Olympos, but it doesn't matter because Thor is on stage and that's all Hercules can think about.

Thor struts out with a cocky grin on his face and his hair tamed into a neat bun. The first thing he does is spin while making his way to the pole, unloosening the hair tie to let his golden strands whip against his face. Thor grinds on the pole and throws his hair this way and that, holding onto the pole with one hand while the other touches himself from his groin up to his chest.

Hercules casts a wary eye onto Loki, who is stiff lipped and glaring at the boy. Hercules knows this to mean Loki likes him.

Thor spins around on the pole, discarding his tie as he does so, and climbs up the pole. From there his jacket follows and he slides down. Some men shout for him to take more off, to which Thor leans over the crows and cups a hand to his ear. Hercules is surprised to hear Loki mutter, "take it off already," under his breath.

Thor shrugs in an exaggerated motion, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt which earns a few hoots. He turns to the crowd, now leaned against the pole, and unbuttons the first, second button. This earns even more hollers as well as one man running to the stage to offer Thor a measly dollar. The boy laughs and snatches it out of the now bashful man's hand. He unzips his pants and slips it in, meaning a few men jump to the stage to offer singles as well.

After Thor's accepted his tips, he begins to unbutton once more. He's halfway down his chest and Hercules notices Loki leaning forward in his seat when Thor stops and begins attending to his bad oxford knockoffs. Loki's falls back against the seat and Hercules dares to cup his hand over Loki's white knuckles. Loki looks at him for all of a second with an expression nearly vulnerable before looking at Thor once more. Thor has discarded the shoes and thrown then backstage, crawling up the pole to take his socks off one by one.

The shirt follows after and Hercules is glad that Thor isn't teasing any longer. It's been forever since he felt this riled up by a stripper. Even his regular couldn't make him want to see the boy naked soon enough. With only his pants, Thor's routine seems to involve a lot of hip thrusting and hooking one leg over the pole to pose in a number of exotic and seemingly gravity-defying poses. When Thor's eyes catch Hercules', he nods in respect to the boy. Being a fellow muscle enthusiast, he knows those poses take a lot of flexibility and core work. Thor winks back and Loki slaps him for it, though not hard enough to get them kicked out, although Hercules does yelp.

After some minutes of posing every single variant of the karma sutra possible with a pole, the crowd begins to roar once more, and over the trashy Kesha accompanying music, Thor shouts if the crowd would like to see him without pants. The answer is, of course, a booming yes.

Climbing to the top of the pole a final time, Thor straddles the pole hard enough to sit against it with his arms raised above his head, beckoning for easily received applause. He lets the men shout and snarl and run to the stage to offer their bills before he loosens his thighs and slides. Loki doesn't gasp but his eyes widen, long enough before Thor catches himself just before his toes touch the stage, and he idle saunters off of it. He collects his bills, circles around the pole a few times, and finally bends over, offering his ass to the crowd.

Hercules doesn't comment on the low sound Loki's unaware he's making, but he grins smugly and steps up, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet. Loki bothers to stand up and grab his sleeve over the table, looking at him with wild eyes. "Where are you going?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Hercules says, tugging out some tens from his wallet. He offers two to Loki.

Loki glares between the offered money and the stage, where Thor is now taking his pants off to the chanting of the crowd. He stands up, smooths the wrinkles of his suit, and swats at the money. "I have my own, you know."

Hercules chuckles, tucking the extra bills into his wallet and offering his hand to Loki. He's surprised when Loki actually takes it, but it is hand-in-hand how they make it to the stage.

Thor's pants have been discarded and men are tucking bills ranging from one to twenty into the scanty g-string the boy is wearing. It's obvious his stage time is nearly over by the way he makes rounds to gather all the bills. Loki offers up a Benjamin Franklin with a firm, outstretched grip that stands steady among the waving and wiggling arms offering fives and tens. Once Thor catches sight of it, he spins on his heel and immediately makes it over, grin wide and attention focused only on the bill.

It's only when the boy is face-to-face with Hercules and Loki that he notices their joined hands and looks between the two with a furrowed brow. Evidently couples are an anomaly in this place, but Thor pays it no mind and immediately moves to grab the bill, which Loki pulls back.

All the crowd turns to look at Loki, Hercules included, who squeezes Loki's hand when he hears what seems to be Thor growling. Loki twists his arm to the left and then to the right. Each time Thor attempts to grab the bill and fails miserably. It's only the beat of the song that allows him to retain some form of grace, and when Loki snakes the bill around, Thor ends up on his back on the stage and gyrating his hips. Loki smirks at that, holding the bill to his chest and dragging it along his abs and the patch of blonde hair trailing into his scant clothing. Loki tucks it in there, licking his lips at the boy who is now red in the face.

"This was fun," Loki mutters, after Hercules has tucked two fiftys on the strings of either side of Thor's hips, but Hercules can tell that means Loki truly enjoyed himself.

They sip fruity cosmopolitans and dirty martinis at the bar but Thor doesn't emerge for the rest of the night.

-

Hercules doesn't visit Olympos anymore. He doesn't need to and he doesn't want to.

-

Next Saturday, Loki is on the couch reading a dog eared book that has creases on the spine and James Joyce's name in bright neon swirls. He licks the pad of his thumb and turns the page with a sigh when Hercules says he's going to Olympos.

"I liked Valhalla. I might just go there instead."

Loki looks up from his book and it's settled.

-

They sit at the same booth as last time and Thor's routine stays exactly the same, sans the fact he's dressed like a sailor and licks the pole when he's not shedding clothes or climbing it.

Loki is just as much of a tease when he offers a tip and Hercules once again tucks his money into the strings of Thor's remaining thong, this time daring to tuck the money deeper long Thor's hip. Thor twists around on stage so that Hercules can tuck the other bill along his ass, and if Loki glares, Hercules really doesn't care. He cops a feel and then Loki is dragging him to the bar.

Loki orders a dirty martini again and Hercules sips something entirely too fruity for a man with his hair to skin ratio or mass index. It's fifteen minutes before Thor emerges and he makes a beeline for the bar.

"You're really together," he says, taking the seat besides Hercules.

Hercules glances along his shoulder at Loki, who only mildly appears bothered Thor didn't choose his side. Then he shouldn't have teased Thor a full seven minutes before making the boy clamp his tip between his teeth, Hercules thinks, returning his attention to Thor.

"We're married," Loki says, and Hercules recognizes that tone of possessiveness he hasn't heard since the last company Christmas party. Thor twists his face as if he couldn't hear and over Lady Gaga blasting on the speakers and Hercules can't blame him. If he didn't know Loki's tones so well, he might not have caught it either. Loki rolls his eyes, leans forward, and says it again more vehemently.

"I'm okay with it if you are," Thor professes, eyeing between Hercules and Loki in quick darts, as if he's never seen a couple grace Valhalla's bar. His smile is wide, clearly intrigued, and he tosses his golden hair over a shoulder. He orders a beer and turns to the two, grinning. "You'll pay for it, right?"

Before Loki can say anything, Hercules presses a hand to Loki's chest and orders them all shots. He ends up paying for the three of them, but Thor licks his beard when some of the tequila dribbles along his chin. Loki is fuming afterwards but it's worth it.

-

They visit again.

-

"Welcome to the stage...the Golden Prince, the Mighty Thor!"

"When was the last time you were this sexy?" Hercules grumbles offhandedly, eyes glued on Thor, this time performing a contrived firefighter skit, and unaware he had even said anything.

Hercules isn't expecting a response but Loki snorts. "He's closer to your build, Hercules. Tell me, why aren't you on that pole?"

Hercules turns his eyes to Loki and for the first time in months, Loki is smiling and his eyes are trained on Hercules and Hercules alone. Hercules smiles back and he swears it is the first time he and Loki have spoken in months.

-

They visit again. And again and again and again.

-

Loki and Hercules become Thor's favorite regulars. They've visited every Thursday for the past month and a half and always tip more than generously. The weeks flipflop when Hercules or Loki will pay for the drinks, and by week seven, Thor is willing to give a lap dance to the happy - or as it would be, not-so-happy - couple.

"Him first," Hercules insists, gesturing to Loki. Although Loki looks outraged that Hercules has passed his lap dance for Loki, Hercules knows Loki has been wanting this since they watched Thor perform the first time. Hercules nods to him and for once Loki accepts.

It should hit Hercules harder than it does, but it doesn't, not when Loki is tilting his head back as Thor grinds his hips in Loki's lap. The cocky boy looks like his sixteenth birthday was yesterday but he smirks at Hercules with an air of confidence no man should have.

An idiot, then, Loki would say, like when he was half his age and Hercules hit on him for the first time. Things were simpler back then. They didn't require Golden Princes shoving their ass against his husband and leaning over to kiss Hercules. Something is strange about this, Hercules thinks, but Loki gives no indication that is is or isn't. The only encouragement Loki offers is grabbing Thor by the hips and pulling him roughly against his crotch, away from Hercules.

Thor is still smiling, tilting his hips so-so and grinding on the heavy beat while snaking one arm into Loki's hair. One wink to Hercules and Thor hooks his leg over Loki's hip so that he straddles his hips facing Loki. This time Loki is the one to glance over Thor's shoulder and the look he sends Hercules is absolutely toxic.

It riles something Hercules hasn't felt in a long time, something that feels a lot like jealousy. Whether that's over Loki or Thor is anybody's guess, but when Thor pulls off of Loki after swaying his ass this way and that, he can't bother to sort it out. Time spent thinking is time lost from watching Thor swing his hips back and forth. Thor kisses Loki on the cheek while grabbing his charge and tip from Loki's hand before Loki can make Thor chase after it.

That smile is just as bad as Loki's, Hercules knows, when Thor flashes a toothy grin his way and sashays toward a different table. Even while giving a different man a lap dance, Thor's eyes are trained on Loki and Hercules.

Loki hisses, demanding he and Hercules leave at once. Thor whistles as they leave the club and Hercules has a feeling it was definitely meant for them, both awkwardly waddling out, harder in their pants than they've ever been since they were schoolboys.

-

That night Loki lets Hercules fuck him. It's rough and sloppy and quick, Hercules thrusting into Loki like he did on their wedding night, palms hoisting Loki's legs by the backs of his knees and splitting him open. For a fleeting moment, some part of him imagines what it would be like to fuck Thor, though it's a passing thought, and Hercules is almost positive that Loki wonders what it would be like to be fucked by Thor.

Loki's eyes are wide and blown and his chest heaves erratically until he finishes. Hercules fucks into him just enough to get off before he rolls off and stares up at the ceiling.

They've had the best orgasm of their life in close to a year and Hercules knows they were thinking about somebody else, namely a certain blond bombshell. He turns his head to Loki, who is still blinking at the ceiling with an expression of pure mortification, and he sighs.

Hercules wonders how long it is before Loki hires a pool boy for the pool they don't have and leaves him.

-

The next time Thor gives them a lap dance, he starts with Hercules and assumes the position similar to the one he gave Loki, shoving his ass into Hercules' crotch. This time, however, he holds out his arm and beckons to Loki, who is currently looking away and at the entrance-cum-exit. He casts Thor the smallest, most scrutinizing of looks before sauntering over.

Hercules looks up to Loki over Thor's shoulder but Loki doesn't so much as spare him a glance. Instead Loki straddles Thor's hips and Thor accommodates to the both of them at once - Hercules beneath him and Loki on top. Hercules braces his palms on Thor's waist and Loki presses his palms against Thor's chest. There's an easy rhythm had and Thor takes it all in, rocking against one and then the other until they feel connected.

It's only a matter of time before Thor grabs Hercules' hands and moves them up to his chest, barely brushing his fingertips against Loki's. This time when Hercules looks up, Loki's gaze meets them. It's a tense moment of Thor completely still. He looks over his shoulder from one to the other and repeats the motion.

Hercules' fingers lace with Loki's and push against Thor, who sighs dreamily between the two.

"I don't know why the two of you are here. You both look-" And Loki and Hercules are both on the same wavelength because they shove into Thor hard enough to make the poor boy groan on his words so hard he instantly retracts his words, "-feel amazing. Hot and loaded. You could have anybody."

You could have me, Thor's hips seem to say.

"We're married," Loki says, as if that means anything anymore. It doesn't to Hercules and judging by Loki's empty tone, it means just as much to him.

Thor clucks his tongue before groaning, just as Loki pushes his hips down so that Thor's ass pushes into Hercules' crotch. "Too bad."

Thor laces his arms around Loki's neck and Loki slips from Hercules' hands to his shoulders. It feels oddly intimate and Hercules allows himself to bury his face in Thor's hair, now knotted from his earlier routine, and mouths at Thor's neck. Loki is more discrete, bumping his nose along the side of Thor's scalp and biting at his earlobe.

It's only a matter of time before the bouncers come, but apparently Thor waves them off, because they never come, and Hercules and Loki lose themselves in the sharps and curves of Thor.

-

"If you two are a couple, why are you here all the time?" Thor asks two weeks later, and both Thor and Loki are amazed at how clear Thor's voice is over the music, whether it's Katy Perry or Beyonce or Abba.

"We're swingers," Loki says in all seriousness, and Thor laughs until Loki's deadpan face says nothing to the contrary.

"We're not swingers," Hercules reassures. He doesn't elaborate, nursing his Long Island while Thor rolls his eyes and shoulders.

Thor sips his Hurricane until the straw makes a hollowed sound against the ice and drops of blue at the empty cup.

"That's cool," is all Thor says before asking who wants their lap dance first.

-

Next week the bouncer informs them that Thor will not be performing. Hercules and Loki stick around because they've decked out to the nines anyway but spend most of the evening beached on the bar. One of the performers stand out, a boy named Balder, but he lacks the passion of Thor, not to mention the legs that go on and on.

Miraculously, Thor saunters into Valhalla and siddles up to the bar after the show. Hercules watches Loki evaluate Thor's worn and fraying jeans and the shirt that seems to reveal more than it conceals. Loki shoves Hercules in the rib with an elbow when he catches him staring at Thor's nipples through the stretched fabric. However Loki evaluates him, apparently Thor passes because Loki lets him shoot back a vodka and tonic and some shots with the two. Thor slides in seat between them and stays there the entire time, letting his hands linger on their forearms and cup their the backs. He smiles too wide and too bright at the both them.

They do this more often: drinking at the bar after the show and talking about football or stocks - neither of which Thor knows much about - or movies or, oddly enough, life.

Loki and Hercules now know that Balder is Thor's younger brother and Thor gives both of them a sharp glare when they ask about it. "He's off the market," he growls before offering, oh so invitingly, "unlike me." Loki learns more about how Hercules feels about his older brother Ares than years of non-negotiable mandatory Christmas family vacations in Thebes. Thor drunkenly admits that despite what everybody seems to think, he's only had two serious relationships, both with women, though he claims he's not attracted to them. ("I'm the only guy he's ever been with," Hercules boasts, daring to swing an arm over Loki's shoulders. Thor is in complete awe and appears touched, just before Loki primly says, "You were the only man I'd been with." That night Hercules breaks some glasses and leaves Loki to figure out his way home.) Thor memorizes their star signs, least favorite parts of getting up in the morning, favorite cocktails, and what either of them remembers of the night they turned twenty-one. Thor and Hercules had a drinking contest once. It made historical significance to the bar enough to earn a plague above the sink behind the bar.

After Thor's considerably drunk and talked at length of his favorite strip routine, which apparently involves a hammer, he lets slip that some of his fellow strippers have warned him against drinking with them. "They say you're conning me. Nobody does- does..." Thor gestures at the drinks and the money and the way Hercules and Loki both have a hand on his thigh, "-all this!"

Loki is the one to reach around Thor's back and pinch Hercules before he does or says something stupid. Hercules says something stupid anyway. "We fuck once a month."

The fifteenth of every month. Hercules and Loki have a twenty-minute date that involves switching off on who gets on their knees. Recently they've had an understanding that getting on their knees for a blowjob counts just as much as bending over to be mounted. Hercules uses the time to wait until his sitcom comes on at eight and Loki uses it as a break between filing paperwork. Even saying it's a once a month ritual sounds more romantic than the truth.

"You're lying!" Thor instantly gushes, laughing because he truly thinks that can't be a possibility. In whatever universe Thor lives in, he probably imagines Loki and Hercules hitting up a different gay club every night and luring strippers into their bed with cookie crumble trails of hundred dollar bills, fucking like bunnies against any fuckable surface in between. No sooner than his shock subsides, his face scrunches up and he turns his face from one to the other. "That's... Really?"

Loki smiles serenely, serenely to promise Hercules he might not get a monthly fucking, and Thor gapes like a child his age. Hercules feels a pulse near the corner of his eye that Thor apparently notices and is all the evidence he needs. All the former bravado ebbs down with Thor seeming to bundle in on himself. "But you... You wanna fuck me, right?"

Neither Loki nor Hercules say anything, but when Hercules pets Thor's hair, he feels Loki's fingers meeting his strokes. Thor's face flushes at that and he smiles at his hands, folded on the bar and thumbs twiddling without focus or accuracy. It's Thor's only show of vulnerability Loki or Hercules have seen, and it passes instantly, replaced by Thor's cockiness and a shout for another round of shots.

-

Hercules and Loki haven't talked about inviting anybody else in their bed. It isn't that it's never come up - it has, in the past - but they've never been interested.

But now, they want.

How badly they want.

Hercules wants and Loki wants and Hercules knows that Loki wants in the same way Loki knows that Hercules wants. But they don't talk about it.

Loki is blinking up at the ceiling again and breathing through his nose like he can't inhale enough air. Hercules knows what he wants to ask. He wants to ask it too.

Neither of them does.

-

Thor finishes his lap dance on Hercules when he feels Hercules' dick pushing into his ass. He lifts off with a smirk, sitting on the table between Loki and Hercules with a quirk to his lips. It's a smirk Hercules had nearly forgotten, one Loki used to wear all the time. It's a smirk that says I know what you want and I'm willing to give it to you if you give me what I want. But he has a feeling Thor is willing to give no matter what they have to say on the matter, if for nothing but the fact Thor's knees bump against their crotches like he wants them to jump him right now.

Thor looks to a man across the pit and Hercules and Loki both assume that Thor will twist his way away and strut to the other man. He doesn't.

Loki looks to Hercules. Hercules looks to Loki. Thor rolls his eyes and says, "are you going to take me home or not?"

-

Thor spends the rest of the night yanking bills from Loki's and Hercules' stubborn fingers and giving them the slowest, most tantalizing lap dances. By the time the club closes, Hercules has to help a stumbling Thor to their car and said stumbling Thor only whistles when he sees the sleek black sedan. "Nice car."

"In your dreams," Loki trills, when Thor makes a pass for the driver's seat. It hasn't gone unnoticed that Thor is trying to suck Hercules' face off but started placing hickeys on Hercules' neck in his uncoordinated haze.

Hercules laughs and stuffs Thor into the backseat and welcomes himself next to Loki in the front. Loki sends him a sharp glare that Hercules matches, and somehow it lightens the mood. Hercules places his palm on Loki's knee and Loki doesn't swat at it, which is as much consent as Loki will offer to the situation.

Thor, in his stubbornness, sits in the very middle seat, and leans over, an elbow on each of the front headrests. He's still stuck on trying to kiss whatever he can, licking Loki's neck as they make a left turn or kissing Hercules' cheek when Loki swats him away.

"How long have you been married?" Thor slurs, and Hercules watches as Loki's knuckles go white from the grip tightening on the steering wheel.

"Fourteen years," Hercules says, sounding more somber than he means to.

"Fifteen next month," Loki corrects.

Thor whistles long enough to Hercules to decide that he likes the bite in Loki's tone better than indifference. It lasts until Thor starts grabbing at them again, mostly Hercules who does not paw Thor's hands away unlike Loki, and only stops after Loki takes a sharp righthand turn and Thor topples in the backseat.

Thor rights himself and when Loki looks into the rear view mirror, he sees Thor biting his bottom lip in that way that makes him look younger than his actual age. "I'll give you an anniversary discount next month."

Hercules shuts his eyes as soon as Loki starts cackling. "You offer that?"

"I do now."

-

Thor is taking off his clothes the instant he steps foot in the apartment. Hercules had to restrain Thor from flashing the security guard as they made their way into the elevator, and half their clothes are off by the time they make it to the penthouse. Thor's eyes had lit up when he asked which floor and Loki instructed him to press the top floor and from there it was only a matter of time before Thor had yanked off Loki's shirt and popped the button off Hercules' pants. Loki grabbed the pool of clothes as Thor bit off the buttons of Hercules' shirt one-by-one.

It takes them fifteen minutes to walk the five feet to their front door and Thor's legs are already wrapped around Hercules' hips. Thor pushes off only when Loki props the door open, leaving Hercules to grab Thor's kicked off shoes and socks. By the time Hercules locks the door behind him, Thor has sucked two hickeys on Loki's neck.

Thor growls loud enough that it's a gentle rumble against Loki's chest, and he practically rips off Loki's slacks.

"Those are Armani," Loki says dryly.

"Those are trash now," Hercules says, swooping in to suck at Thor's mouth. He pulls at Thor's pants as roughly as Thor has with their clothing. Thor grabs his belt loops and rips his pants off by the sides, laughing as Hercules hoists him up again. Thor grabs at Loki and it's a strange struggle as they move down the hallway with layers and layers of less clothes.

"Bedroom," Thor whispers an octave deeper. Hercules ignores him and begins mouthing down Thor's chest. Loki pulls off with a nod, tugging Hercules by the sleeve. The trio stumbles to the bedroom completely naked, somehow, and Hercules is once again pushing Loki toward Thor, who collapses onto the bed with a laughing trill.

"Enjoy," Hercules says, shoving Loki by the hip into their bedroom and closes the door before Loki can object. He knows he's made the right decision when Loki looks at him with wide eyes just before the door shuts.

-

Loki emerges forty-five minutes later. Hercules is naked and pulling out his wallet from his pants on the floor but Loki grabs him by the bicep and hauls him up, directing him toward the bedroom.

"Your turn," he says, snatching Hercules' wallet from his hand and pushing him toward the bedroom.

Hercules finds Thor with fading bruises in the shape of hand prints around his neck and Loki's come leaking out out his ass. He rolls on a condom, flips Thor stomach-first on the bed, and fucks Thor until he cries.

-

Thor sticks around until the morning, if simply because he couldn't move after being fucked raw twice in a row. Loki wakes up on his side of the bed, pushed to the edge by Thor's kick-happy leg during the middle of the night, and shivers from the blanket Thor stole. Hercules snores away without a care, but then again he has a thick layer of hair that acts as a personal furnace.

Hercules is mouth breathing against Loki's ear, something that Loki finds nearly as unappealing as the way Hercules drools in his sleep. It is Loki who jams his elbow into Thor's ribs, which inevitably wakes up Hercules when Thor begins rolling on Hercules and groaning louder than an earthquake.

Loki has to all but drag Thor into the shower to get the boy out of their bed, and when he returns from the bathroom, his arms are crossed and he's shaking his head. "I swear that boy..."

Hercules grins half-heartedly with eyes still crusty from sleep but Loki tugs him up and Hercules spreads his legs so Loki is standing between them. Loki looks at him, really looks at him, with either palm on his cheeks. Hercules starts to rub up and down Loki's forearms and squeezes Loki's elbows when he frowns. He says, "good morning, husband," for the first time since they began fighting about whether to set the alarm for 6:30 or to set the alarm for 6:00 and hit the snooze for thirty minutes.

"Please don't."

Hercules stops and lets go of Loki. Thor emerges from the bathroom with only a towel to dry his hair. "Good morning, friends! Shall we grab a latte?"

-


They don't talk about it but there's an unspoken agreement that Thor has the best dick they've ever bedded.

-

"Do you sleep with all your customers?" Hercules asks the next day. Loki is beside him, shaking his head and digging a palm into his forehead. It's not their regular day and it's a rude question to begin with, but Hercules wouldn't have any of Loki's reasoning and insisted they get tested earlier. He should have known it would come to this from the minute Hercules asked him to come to the clinic with him. It's eerily similar to the events following the first time he and Hercules fucked. Hercules simply insisted on finding Thor immediately and asking him point blank.

"Only when they seem fun," Thor says in a harsh tone that clearly conveys his offense to this questioning. He's dressed in the marine uniform he wore before tearing apart earlier that evening, sitting besides Hercules but relocating to Loki's side while he finishes the drink Hercules bought him.

"Loki and I got tested this morning," Hercules goes on, leaning over Loki, and that's when Loki tugs on his arm. He knew Hercules had too much to drink but he didn't think it would go down like this.

"He's drunk," Loki offers.

"He's right," Thor counters, matching Loki's gaze. And he says, "I'm clean."

"We're so clean!" Hercules shouts merrily, slurring his words at the bartender, who offers a round on the house for their steady patronage and good news.

Thor breathes in through his nose and folds his hands on the bar's counter, the most serious gesture he's ever shown the two. "I need to go to work."

Loki sighs and apparently it's long enough that Thor twists in his seat and puffs his chest out at the two of them. "After taking care of you two."

In his drunken stupor, Hercules blurts out, "Skip that!"

Loki nearly swallows his tongue. Thor cups Hercules' face and says, "Not tonight," while slipping into his lap.

-

Next week on their regular night, Thor agrees to accompany them home.

-

The three of them are completely naked again when they enter the bedroom. Thor jumps onto the mattress and starts to roll around in it until the sheets are a mess. It's a tense moment with Hercules and Loki standing beside each other. Hercules takes off his wedding ring and Loki does the same. Thor flips onto his back, heels rucking up the sheets as he extends a hand with only a finger beckoning the pair closer.

They step to either side of the bed, placing their rings on their respective nightstands. Hercules places one knee on the mattress but Loki remains standing. Regardless of what they want, Thor has already figured it out, describing exactly how he wants tonight to go.

"Loki was first last time so this time Hercules is first," Thor decides, immediately pouncing on Hercules. Hercules has no objections and neither does Loki, who perches on his side of the bed. Hercules freezes but Thor tosses his head over his shoulder and laughs freely. "Will you watch this time?"

"I will."

Loki watches Thor prepare himself and then Hercules hauls him against the wall and fucks him until Thor's throat is so raw he can't scream anymore. Loki takes Thor after Hercules has pulled out and thrown the condom into the bin by their bed, Thor sliding down the wall with a wide, lazy grin.

Loki guides Thor to the mattress stomach-first and grabs four sets of handcuffs from the drawer of his nightstand. Thor's wrists and ankles are tied within minutes, Loki moving more quickly and hungrily than Hercules' quick fuck against the headboard. He guides Thor to the mattress stomach-first until Thor stops sobbing and starts begging for Loki's cock.

Hercules watches Loki slowly take Thor apart piece-by-piece. Thor is gasping against the sheets when Loki takes him to the edge and then he pauses and takes Thor to the edge again and again. He's a fucking tease, as Hercules has known for ages, but everything is new to Thor, who reaches out for Hercules and sobs for Loki to let him come already.

After what seems like forever, Loki reaches beneath Thor and jacks him off.

Nobody complains.

-

"How often do you spend the night?" Loki asks and Thor nearly chokes on his vanilla latte, after the third morning of the three of them rolling out of bed and shuffling in and out of the shower and suffering a forty minute line at Starbucks.

"Not often," he croaks out, wiping his mouth of some of the latte that's spilled in his surprise. Hercules is still nursing a massive hangover but manages to wipe off some of the creamy liquid from Thor's morning stubble with his thumb. "Only the ones I really like."

"Hm." Loki takes a sip of his coffee. Black. No sugar added. Just how he likes it. "And how often is that?"

Thor smiles fondly at Hercules though he speaks to Loki and says idly, "this is a first."

"Liking your partner enough to stay the night or with a couple?"

"Partners," Thor corrects, reflexively, and says, "And both."

He kisses both of them on the mouth chastely before darting out with a clipped, "Next week!"

"He didn't even thank us for the drink," Loki grumbles and Hercules groans beside him. Loki glares at Hercules but Loki strokes his hair, passing him an Advil he brought and muttering softly, "idiot."