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Australian Loser With An American Crush

Chapter Text

20

20 with two friends in real life. No girlfriend. No boyfriend. Of course no boyfriend, it’s not like he’s gay. No one had ever showed any interest in Max Stanley. No girls, no boys. Even if he wasn’t gay, it’d be nice if someone would show interest in him, even a boy.

He started YouTube at age 16, but didn’t really start getting into it until he was 18. Only had one fucking friend so it didn’t matter if people he knew judged him on his content. He just made prank calls and videos of him vomiting, but still had a surprisingly large fan base. He got fanmail, had meet and greets, but even his female fans didn’t show any romantic interest. I mean, who wants to date a guy that vomits on camera for the world to see? Either way, his fans weren’t in his town so it’s not like it mattered if they had showed interest.

There wasn’t anything special about Max. He had frizzy brown hair, a weird lanky body, and his teeth were fucked. He was obnoxious, annoying and overly loud. Actually just a general asshole to everyone.

At least, that’s what he thought.

The truth was that Max was an attractive boy. His hair, however frizzy it was, was a beautiful shade of brown and complimented all his features. His eyes were a gorgeous green. Everyone loves a boy with dark hair and light eyes.
His voice seemed mean, but was amazing. His laugh was the goofiest thing you could ever hear.
Despite him seeming like the typical mean, angry Australian, he was one of the nicest, most wholesome guys you could ever meet.

Girls he met really liked him, even a few of the closeted gay boys at his school did. He’s been flirted with, but he always misunderstood and thought they were making fun of him. And everyone wanted to be his friend, they just thought he liked being alone, or that he was too caught up in his own shit, or Pokémon to have friends. Jesus that boy loved Pokémon.

There was nothing special about Max, he was just a boy with two friends that made cringey videos on YouTube.

18 is the legal drinking age in Australia, which is why Max was able to be drunk almost all the time. It was starting to become a bit of a problem. Chad, his best friend since childhood was concerned for him, and always warned him about becoming an alcoholic, completely oblivious to the fact that he already was an alcoholic. And HTB, his other friend, which he made on YouTube when HTB reached out to him about his content, was older and had gone through an alcoholic phase himself. Hell, most Australians did. HTB would reassure Chad that it was okay and that he’d get over it, that he was just getting through a rough patch.

In fact, the majority of his videos were filmed drunk. And all of his vomit videos were fueled by alcohol.

“What to do today..” Max mumbled while searching through the newest content on YouTube.
“IDubbbztv? Stupid name...”
he sat through a whole video, some gaming news shit that didn’t interest him too awful much. But the end, something called Kickstarter Crap, was fucking hilarious.
maxmoefoe ‘good video! Loved the Kickstarter Crap, you should make entire videos of just that!’

The truth was, it wasn’t a good video. It was horrible and cringey, but so was Max’s content. Besides, the Kickstarter Crap really was funny, that part wasn’t a lie.

Max took another swig from his vodka and watched a few more of IDubbbztvs videos, making sure to subscribe after the fourth one. He binge watched all of his videos that day, leaving likes on all of them and nice comments on half. He quickly learned that his name was Ian, and that he lived in California. After a few hours he got a ping from his desktop ‘IDubbbztv has replied to your comment!’

IDubbbztv ‘thanks dude!’

Ian only had around 15k subscribers, while Max had nearly 1 million, and was verified.

Max, being the cocky fuck he was, decided that Ian should be happy that he was noticed by someone with so many more subscribers. Ian was happy, so happy that he was nervous and trying to sound cool, but really sounded as lame as ever.

He had to admit, Ian was pretty cute.

No, what the fuck? Max wasn’t gay. He liked girls, maybe? Yes, of course. It’s just the alcohol talking.

But it’s not like it’s gay to think another guy is attractive, right? No, no it’s not. Ian is attractive, and that’s not gay. Definitely not. No homo.

Really there’s no reason for Max to get so worked up and worried about him finding another dude attractive. He’d seen many men that he knew were attractive. Just because he’s straight doesn’t mean he’s blind. He just got worked up about it because he’s drunk and not thinking properly.

Max sighed and took another swig from his vodka. Ian did seem cool. Cool enough to be a friend.

But did it matter? There was no way in hell that Ian would want to be friends with someone like Max.

Chapter Text

It’d been about two weeks since Max first found Ian, and they’d been tweeting each other a lot, but never talked privately in direct messaging. Today Max decided to change that.

Ian had seemed to be interested in being Max’s friend, which surprised Max, but he remembered not to get his hopes up, as people had fooled him before.

Max sighed and stared at the message he had typed on his computer screen. He took a drink from his glass of whiskey and said “fuck it” while pressing send on his computer.

maxmoefoe: hey dude

It was a simple message, painfully simple, but still nerve wracking.

Almost instantly he got a reply

idubbbz: yo

Max cringed at the message but laughed
“What a fucking nerd.”

maxmoefoe: what the FUCK is up Ian

idubbbz: I was actually watching your videos
idubbbz: you’re funny as hell no wonder you have so many subs

maxmoefoe: thanks but you’re funnier ;)

delete delete delete

Why the fuck would he type a winky face?

maxmoefoe: thanks dude

Aaand send

They chatted for hours. Favorite movies, favorite games, favorite videos the other made, improvements the other could make.

Hours and hours and hours until

idubbbz: it was great talking to you
idubbbz: but it’s 3 am here and I need to go to sleep

Max glanced at his clock, it was only 3 pm there and for a minute he’d almost completely forgotten about time zones. He looked at his glass of whiskey, it hadn’t been touched at all since Ian replied. Max smiled and took another drink of his whiskey before sending his next messages

maxmoefoe: oh shit yeah it’s only 3 pm here I completely forgot about time zones lmao
maxmoefoe: talk to you later?
idubbbz: definitely :)

Max’s heart fluttered at the sight of the message. He actually made a friend. A boy, a cute boy actually liked him and wanted to be his friend.

Cute? What the fuck does it matter if his friend is cute? What is he, fucking gay?

But he couldn’t help from getting butterflies in his tummy when he thought of Ian. Was this just because he never had friends? Could this be something more?

No, no it wasn’t anything more. After all he wasn’t gay.

He shook his head and gulped down the rest of his whiskey. He walked to his kitchen pantry and took a few shots, hoping it’d make him tired.

 

He laid down on his bed, singing old lullabies to himself before drifting off to sleep.

Chapter Text

December.

That’s three months of talking.

Three months of actually having a friend.

Three months of not being a total loser.

Three months of pure joy for Max, three months of a friendship that he didn’t even feel like he was going to ruin.

Three months of friendship that felt like a friendship that’s lasted years.

Three months of doubting his sexuality.

 

It’s not like he was gay! I mean, every guy finds other guys attractive. Every guy has one or two fantasies about other guys. Every guy jacks off to pictures of his friends sometimes...? Right?
Yeah, definitely. That’s a normal thing to do.

Max is 100% straight. No homo.

Okay, maybe it was a little bit weird, but not that bad. Everyone does have homosexual fantasies every once in a while. People often misunderstand their feelings towards their friends, and confuse it with romantic feeling. This was the case with them.

Chapter Text

The line has been crossed.

It’s the new year. New year, new friendship that Max has fucked up.

Everyone knows that Max can handle his alcohol, he’s Australian after all.

But since he’d been talking to Ian, he hadn’t felt the need to drink. Actually, he hadn’t drank at all since the new year started. And considering it was the 23rd of January, that’s pretty fucking good.

But something was different about tonight.

Lately Max’s nightmares had been replaced with beautiful dreams of Ian, but not that night.
All that filled Max’s dreams that night were visions of bruises, screaming and blood, instead of kisses, laughter and love. And this was one of the worst nightmares he ever had.
That’s not exactly what caused him to drink. It was bad, sure, but he’d been sober all month. This year was supposed to be different, this year was supposed to be sober. This year wasn’t supposed to be filled with hangovers, burning stomachs, or horrible attitudes.

It’s just that the dream, the memories and how horrible they were, made Max think about how nice Ian was. And he was nice, truly. He could tell that they really cared about each other, but that was the problem.

The problem is that Ian wouldn’t want that, and even if he did, he lived in another fucking country. Ian isn’t gay. Max, well.

Max is fucking gay.

It hurts to admit, but it’s true. No matter how much he pushes out the thoughts of his friend, he can’t. He’s gay . Gay. A big fucking faggot.

 

This is what caused the drinking. If this had happened to you, you’d probably be drinking too.

That’s why they crossed the line.

That’s what fucked it up.

 

Since he hadn’t drank in a month, his tolerance was a little lower. But it’s not like it matters, if anyone drank an entire bottle of vodka they’d be drunk.

People act different when they’re drunk, but drunk actions are sober thoughts.

 

Tonight Max was drunk, tonight he was brave, tonight he was stupid.

 

Max decided that it would be a good idea to send his great pal Ian a message saying that he liked him a lot, that he wanted more than friendship, that he wished he lived in Australia with him so they could actually see each other every day.

Now, Ian wouldn’t reply.

Now Max was staring at his computer screen, staring at the little ‘seen’ checkmark.

Now, Max was finishing off his second bottle of vodka.

“Stupid..” Max muttered to himself while he glanced at his scars on his arms, “it’s stupid to think that he could like me.”

maxmoefoe: haha sorry I’m just drunk

He tried to excuse it, he tried to say that it’s just his drunk thoughts. But he knew that wasn’t true.

idubbbz: I think it’s best we talk about this in the morning
idubbbz: you need to get some rest Max
idubbbbz: goodnight

 

maxmoefoe: goodnight Ian

 

He turned off his computer by frantically pressing the buttons. When it didn’t turn off fast enough he pulled out the plug, shutting it off completely. He knew this isn’t a good way to do it, but who the fuck cares?

He began sobbing loudly to himself and plopped down on his bed, putting his pillow over his face and burying himself in the lump of blankets.

How could he fuck this up so badly?

Chapter Text

It’s 3pm in California, meaning that it was 3 am in Australia. Max was up pretty late, but he was normally up late. He’d been acting weird that night, similar to how he acted when he was drinking.

But he wasn’t drinking. Ian trusted that Max would keep his New Years Resolution and stay sober. He would keep it, wouldn’t he?

Would a sober person confess their love for their friend? For their friend of the same sex and gender? Sure, they pretended to be gay together, but this wasn’t a fucking joke.

No, he’s only saying this because he’s drunk.

When he saw the message he felt his heart flutter and his stomach twisted in knots. Of course he felt the same about Max, but what could he say back? It was obvious that Max was drunk. Is it best to just let it be and then talk about it tomorrow?

His thoughts were interrupted with the next message that flashed on his computer screen.

maxmoefoe: haha sorry I’m just drunk

Ian sighed, he really did break his resolution. Oh well, it’s not like he’ll die from one night of drinking. But it probably would be best if he saved it for the morning. He rubbed his eyes before typing out his next message.

 

idubbbz: I think it’s best if we talk about this in the morning
idubbbz: you need to get some rest Max
idubbbz: goodnight

Ian sighed again and edited videos for the rest of the night.

He figured that he’d wait until at least 1 am to text Max, he needed his sleep.

Chapter Text

ping

ping

ping

 

“what the fuckk who’s bothering me at this hour?”

Max untangled himself from the mess of blankets, reaching to his nightstand to grab his phone, noticing on the clock that it was already 1pm.

idubbbz: hey Max
idubbbz: are you awake?
idubbbz: I thought we could talk now

“oh sweet it’s Ian” Max mumbled to no one in particular. He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, trying to remember the haze of what had happened the night before. He remembered crying, drinking two pints of vodka (except for the few shots worth he spilled on the floor in his drunken stumble), and then passing out. His memory was faded, and he remembered nothing of confessing his love.

He typed out a simple message of “hey dude what’s up?” before his eyes caught something from the previous night.

“SHIT” he yelled while frantically reading the messages, his hands shaking so badly he could hardly even read it.

maxmoefoe: iaan
maxmoefoe: I have something to tell you
maxmoefoe: ;)
idubbbz: what’s up?
maxmoefoe: ur the best
idubbbz: you’re pretty cool yourself

maxmoefoe: no like,, ur the best best ur so great ian you’re like no one I’ve ever met before ur so cool and god ur so damn cute and just all around amazing honestly how could there be such a perfect boy??????? ugh I wish u were in australia because if u were u couldnt even imagine the things id do to u ur so amazing and i just want u to be mine i love u dude
maxmoefoe: like actually mine
maxmoefoe: like my boyfriend

maxmoefoe: haha sorry im just drunk

idubbbz: I think it’s best if we talk about this in the morning
idubbbz: you need to get some rest Max
idubbbz: goodnight

 

shit shit shit

What the fuck

What the fuck did he do

The one guy that’s actually cool and wants to be his friend and he fucks it all up by being a drunk idiot. He wasn’t even supposed to be drinking! He broke his New Years resolution like a goddamn idiot and was even more of a goddamn idiot by confessing his love to a boy that definitely didn’t feel the same.

 

idubbbz: you there?

Now he has to fucking play it cool so that Ian doesn’t stop talking to him, so his subscribers don’t think he’s gay, so Ian doesn’t fucking think he’s gay.

 

maxmoefoe: I’m really sorry about last night, I was drunk, and I know I shouldn’t have been drinking. That was stupid of me to say and I’m sorry dude

He stared at the typing bubble on his screen for a few seconds, a few seconds that seemed like eternity. At this point he realized that he had been up for a while and hadn’t been pissed, and if he didn’t soon he’d definitely piss the bed. He excused himself (silently) to the bathroom, leaving his phone on his charger on the bed.

 

ping

ping

 

Max could hear it from the bathroom across the hall. The horrible pings, the friendship ruining pings, the fucking life ruining pings. He stared at his phone on the bed, it was laying so that the screen was on the bed and he couldn’t even see what it said. He hesitated, his fingers lightly tracing his phone case before deciding to pick it up completely and quickly scanned the messages.

idubbbz: haha sure
idubbbz: you ever hear the saying “drunk actions are sober thoughts”?

Max rubbed his tired eyes again and sighed. He loved Ian, but he hated that he couldn’t just let this go.

maxmoefoe: yeah, I have

He left it at that and ran to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. As soon as he jumped back on his bed he heard another loud *ping* and picked up his phone.

 

idubbbz: you know it’s true?

 

Of course it was fucking true. Max let out a frustrated groan and typed out another message.

maxmoefoe: yeah dude
maxmoefoe: I just
maxmoefoe: I don’t want you to stop talking to me or think I’m uncool or some weird faggot for this.

A period, how sophisticated.

idubbbz: who said I thought you were weird?
idubbbz: besides
idubbbz: there’s nothing wrong with male on male relationships ;)

What the fuck? No, what the fuck was he getting at?
Was this asshole really just teasing him and tricking him into thinking that he likes him?

maxmoefoe: what do you mean?
idubbbz: I mean, I’d have to be lying to say I don’t think you’re great
idubbbz: and funny
idubbbz: and just oh so cute

 

God, Ian is such a cocky bitch.

maxmoefoe: what are you saying?
idubbbz: I’m saying
idubbbz: that I like you too
idubbbz: I’m also saying
idubbbz: that of my professors says that I’m too gifted to stay at this shitty American college
idubbbz: and that a few days ago they offered me a scholarship
idubbbz: and said that theyd be honored to have me as part of their exchange program

Wait what the fuck? What the fuck. Is this

Is he fucking serious? Is this serious? Was this some sick practical joke? They barely knew each other. Well, they actually knew each other very well, but they’d only met a few months ago. They’d only even FaceTimed once!

Max laughed loudly to let out some of his energy before hopping off of his bed and doing his dorky excitement dance he often did while alone.

 

idubbbz: So
idubbbz: what do you think?
maxmoefoe: when are you going to be here?
idubbbz: two weeks

Max screamed from joy, laughing hysterically and clapping his hands. What a fucking nerd.

idubbbz: I’d be living in a dorm of course, but after the first 10 weeks I’d be allowed to move out if it works out.

If

Ian had doubts

But either way this was great fucking news.

You know what this called for?

New clothes shopping!

Chapter Text

Today was a good day.

Ian, Max’s crush, reciprocated the romantic feelings. And in celebration Max decided that it was time to go shopping! Yeah, it seemed like a weird, gay thing to do, but who’s cares!

And what’s the point of him keeping up the whole “I can’t do that it’s gay” act? He liked a boy. A boy liked him. A boy was moving to his country just for him. He was fucking gay.

 

The stores lights were bright, horribly bright. What a horrible place to be in for a hangover, and a terrible hangover at that.

Max’s head throbbed as he waltzed through the aisles. Checkered shirts, striped shirts, the normal boring shit that he already owned.

Ooo heart printed button up shirt, now THAT is something he doesn’t have. He was throwing the shirt into his trolley when something else caught his eye.

 

The most beautiful dress, he knew when he saw it that it’d look perfect on him. As he made his way over to the women’s section he wondered if Ian would like him if he knew that he dressed as a girl.

Maybe that’s something he ought to keep a secret for a little bit, at least until he knows if that’s something Ian was into. He picked up the dress, amazed at just how beautiful it was up close.

It was a pastel pink at the top, made out of cotton, while the bottom was a silk baby blue, the short sleeves were lilac purple. It was one of the dresses that are trimmed at the waist, which is where the beautiful blue started. Max knew that this amazing dress would pair so well with his brown hair and green eyes. With a bit of makeup he’d look just like a girl, a regular teen idle.

He gently placed the dress into his trolley, no need to try it on, since he already knew his dress size at this store. The next dress he saw was light pink with crimson hearts on it.
Max imagined him and Ian together, Ian wearing the heart shirt while Max wore the dress. The perfect couple they would make, they’d be absolutely gorgeous together.

But he was getting ahead of himself.

 

Incoming call
edupppes

 

Max tossed the dress into his trolley and hurriedly pressed accept on the phone.

“Hey Edupes!” Max recited in his best impression.

“Helllooo Mr Australia. What are you doing on this fine day?” Max got butterflies in his stomach by just the sound of Ian’s voice, his beautiful, beautiful voice. Ian’s tired voice, the sound of a boy that was barely managing to stay awake.

“I’m just shopping.” Max ventured further into the dress section of the store, making sure to touch every unique fabric.

“For?”

“Clothes.”
He threw a few pairs of skinny jeans into the trolley, along with a few plain button ups, and headed towards the checkout.
A nice blonde woman greeted him, her kind voice gently asking “Will that be all for you today?” Max nodded and got out his wallet.

“Nice. Anything cute?”

Max scanned the dresses and smiled “yeah, really cute.”

Ian laughed into his phone, making Max smile even wider.

“$117.69 Please!” The cashier said with a cheery voice.

Max fished out the money, reasonably priced for all that he got.

“Good. Send pictures when you get home?” Max’s smile fell from his face as he went into instant panic mode, completely forgetting that he had bought male clothes he could easily show Ian.

“What?”

“I-its just u-uhh...” Max stuttered into his phone while he grabbed his bags and headed to his car.

“What? Is it something naughty?” The way Ian slowly said the word naughty, as if teasing Max made the Australian boy shudder.

“Well, no.”

Max started his car, setting the phone to speaker mode and beginning to drive off.

“Oh my god PLEASE tell me it’s a dress like in the HTB makeup tutorial video you did. You’re so so SO cute in dresses that’d be amazing!”

Max blushed wildly as he headed to the nearest Victoria’s Secret. Looks like he’d been found out, whoops.

“It is, isn’t it!?”

Max nodded, completely forgetting that Ian couldn’t see him. “Yes... do you like that?”

“Do I like it?! I LOVE IT!!!” Ian exclaimed, making Max giggle in happiness.

They continued their conversation about how cute dresses were on boys as Max pulled into the mall parking lot.

“Ian, can I call you back?” Max asked timidly.
Ian sighed before answering, “sure. FaceTime when you get home?”

“Definitely! Bye bye!” Max replied in a cutesy voice that he didn’t mean to do, but received a cocky laugh from Ian.

“Bye.” He could almost hear the smile in Ian’s voice.

 

He made his way into Victoria’s Secret, over to the panties. Just as he picked up the perfect pair an annoyingly loud British girl came up behind him. “Shopping for your girlfriend?”

Max laughed louder than intended. All the employees in this Victoria’s Secret knew him, she must be new.

“No, I’m not.” He said with a smile plastered onto his face.

“Wife?”

“No, no wife.”

The brunette let her confusion show on her face. Before he could explain, though he didn’t care to anyway, he heard the manager yelling “ZOELLA! Get over here!”

A look of fear appeared on the poor girl, the exact look of a child caught by their parents. It was obvious she thought she’d get fired right then and there for asking so many questions. “I uh- I hope you find what you’re looking for sir!” She said in an eerily cheerful voice, an obvious fake smile spread across her cute face.

The manager, a blonde named Britney Lee, who had known Max for years had an angry expression, but smiled when she caught Max’s eye. She calmly explained to Zoella that no, Max wasn’t married, and no, he wasn’t shopping for his girlfriend, that he was a friend of almost everyone there (who could be surprised? He’s so damn charismatic) and not to pester him and be rude. Zoellas confusion disappeared and she looked as though she knew all the secrets of the universe.

Max continued looking through the panties and, with much surprise to him, found a pair of panties exactly like the heart dress he’d just bought. He picked out his size, a medium, and draped them over his arm. He got a few pairs of panties. Black lace, pink lace, cotton with tiny elephants on them, the whole works. He bought a cute little black lace bralette with red flowers on them.
Max wasn’t the type to wear bras, but this one was just so damn cute he couldn’t not buy it.

He checked out with Zoella on the counter.
“That’ll be $269.33”
Christ Victoria’s Secret was expensive. He whipped out his Victoria’s Secret card, which gave him a 20% off, along with coupons for another 40% off. 60% off, Max was pretty damn good at shopping.
$161.59, good fucking discount.

“Thank you! Have a nice day, Max!” She winked at him and he physically cringed. “Yeah, you too Zo.” She sneered at him before realizing what she’d done and instantly smiled again, hoping for forgiveness from him, and more important, Brittney.

 

 

Max made his way home and slipped into his pink dress, black lace panties underneath. He had to look nice for FaceTime with Ian.

 

Today was a good day.

Chapter Text

There he sat, in front of his monitor, staring at Ian’s Skype contact.

Max turned on his camera and stared at his reflection on the screen. Max didn’t usually think of himself as an attractive man, but it was different when he was dressed up like this. When he wore dresses he actually felt good about himself, almost as if he was just another pretty girl. When he was like this he understood what Ian saw in him, he really was cute. He glanced down at his newest eyeshadow palette, Too Faced Sweet Peach, and the brush next to it, skeptical about if he should apply a little. He picked up the brush, subconsciously putting it into his mouth while grabbing his phone to text Ian. ‘You ready to call?’ He opened the box to the never used palette, carefully examining all the colors before deciding the best one to use. He dipped the brush into a light pink, Just Peachy, and brushed on just a little, so it wasn’t too obvious that he was wearing it. He’d read online that the eyeshadow tasted like peach, and he’d often wondered to himself if it was true or not. He could smell the aroma of peach coming from the palette as he dabbed his finger into his least favorite color, slowly raising his hand to his lips and licking his finger. It really did taste like peaches. He grinned and closed the palette, putting it back into the box and carefully setting it aside.

His reflection was truly beautiful.

Max reached for his phone and typed out another message.

‘Ian?’

Within 30 seconds his screen lit up with a reply. ‘Sorry, fell asleep. I’m ready.” Max’s screen lit up with Ian’s face, the accept and decline buttons right under it. His hands reached for the mouse as he tried to control his breathing, exhaling nervously at the thought of Ian seeing him in such a personal way. He smiled, knowing that the American boy really did like him, and pressed accept. Ian sipping from a mug flashed onto the screen, he took a large gulp from his cup and rubbed his eyes, a large smile appearing on his face.

“You look cute.” Max blushed at the boys' words, his entire face turning a bright pink. “Thanks, I feel cute.” He laughed nervously, “I can’t believe I’m letting you see me like this.” Ian grinned cheekily before covering his mouth and letting out a big yawn. “I can’t believe you haven’t let me see you like this before.” “Oh yeah why don’t I just call up all my mates and let them look at me in a dress” “Is that all I am?” Max stared at the screen, his confusion showing plainly on his face. “Huh?” “I’m just ya mate.” Ian said in his best Australian accent, which sounded more British. “I don’t know, are you?” Max teased, batting his eyelashes innocently. Ian let out his normal obnoxious laugh, leaning in closer to his monitor to see Max's face better. "I'm moving to Australia for you, dumbass. You think I just do that for anyone?" Max gazed at the Americans face, wishing that he could just hold him and give him big smooches all over.

"Well, Een it's not like you ever said we're like, boyfriends or anything." Ian cringed at the way the younger boy pronounced his name, knowing damn well that it was because of his accent, but still finding it strange. "I thought it was obvious, cunt." Ian said with a cheeky grin. They could always say the meanest things to each other and call each other names like 'cunt' or 'dumbass', but that was just how they were. There was no offense intended, and neither of the boys took offense to it. They were just mean fucks, and they wouldn't have it any other way. "I'm sorry sir, but I don't believe it's been made official. Maybe if you asked me?" Did I mention they were both smartasses that purposely bugged the shit out of each other all the goddamn time? Because that's a major part of their relationship.

"Why I'm so sorry, Princess." Ian stood up, just to curtsy while talking, "I would be so honored if you would be my wife. What do you say, want to be my queen?" Max blushed at the thought of him in a wedding dress with Ian in a suit. Of course, it was a joke, not an actual marriage proposal, but it's not illegal for a boy to dream.

"I most graciously accept your offer, Sir." Max held his cheek in his hand and gave Ian an unquestionably girlish look, grinning wide at the boy. Ian sat back down and leaned in close to the screen, putting on an overly deep and 'manly' voice.

"Do you, Max Stanley, agree to always kill the big scary spiders for Ian Carter?" Max put his hand over his heart, smiling so hard his cheeks almost hurt. "I do," This time it was Max's turn to use his deepest voice, "And do you, Ian Carter, agree to always admire how gorgeous your wife is in dresses?" Ian chuckled, returning to his normal voice.

"I do. You really do look good Max. Like, really good." Ian was almost out of breath with his last words. He could feel his pants getting tighter as he said it. Honestly, who wouldn't get a boner from seeing that beautiful boy dressed up like that? That boy, Ian thought to himself, is mine. The thought of Max belonging to him making him even more aroused.

"Thank you, Ian. I bet you'd look pretty good in a dress too." He winked in the least attractive way he could, but it was still just as beautiful to Ian.

The older boy cleared his throat, now wide awake. "Now that that's settled, do you have any plans for the rest of the night?" Please, please say no. I want need to see what's under that dress.

"Hmm, do I have anything going on later?" Max thought out loud "Nope! I'm completely free! We can talk for hours!" Max beamed

"Good. I have no classes today so we can talk as long as you want, honey." Ian was painfully aware of his throbbing member. Ian wasn't the type to have sex early on in the relationship, but with Max it was different. With Max it felt right. At least to Ian it did, he had no idea what Max's feelings were about it. For all he knew, Max was asexual. Please don't let him be asexual, I have to see what's under that dress.

Max blushed at the sound of Ian calling him honey. That's right, I am his honey. Ian's. I'm Ian's and no one else's. Max was utterly unaware of Ian's intentions, but felt his own erection growing.

"Max?" Ian's face was red with blush, which was thoroughly appealing to Max. "Hmm?" Max sang in his cheery voice, basking in the beauty of Ian's blushing face, a rare sight.

"I-I...." Ian paused, wondering if this was really the right thing to do at the moment. "May I please see what's under that nice dress?" Ian may have been a dom, but he still had to be nice to his wonderful sub, at least for now.

Max's face filled with the blush, convinced that both boys would burst into flames if the blushing didn't stop soon. Ian, misunderstanding Max's expression as displeasure, stuttered out another sentence. "I-If not that's o-okay! Or if you want I can take off my clothes first?" Max nodded fiercely, at the boys' last words. Please, take it off.

Max grinned, now aware that Max was self-conscious and didn't want to be the only nude one. Understandable. Ian rose from his chair, taking his shirt off quickly, as he was no stranger to taking his shirt off on camera. Max drank in every bit of Ian's beauty as he could. He was perfect. He had no scars, his skin was smooth with no hair. Max wondered if the boy shaved, or if he was naturally that hairless. His smile was as charming as his stomach as he slowly took off his pants, clearly putting on a show for the younger boy. Max nearly gasped when he saw Ian's bulge. It was fucking huge! Like, at least 8 inches, but probably bigger. He already had precum on his boxer briefs. Definitely going to have to borrow those when he gets here. Max could feel the throbbing in his panties getting harder. Ian smirked, fully aware of the effect he was having on Max. "Your turn, cutie."

Max stood up, backing away from his camera so his entire body was visible to Ian. He lifted up the bottom of his dress, revealing just a tease of his panties. His fingers lightly traced his own bulge, watching as Ian's eyes grew wider in excitement. "Take it all off," Ian commanded the boy, "I want to see you."

Max lifted up the dress over his head, tossing it onto his bed. Ian seemed surprised at what he saw, but still very pleased. Max's body was truly graceful, his skin soft and clean. His beauty was stronger than the scars he had. His arms had long scars running from his wrists to elbows, his legs and hip had tiny scars that you could hardly see. But the most visible was the long pink scar across his chest, running just above his nipples. Ian hadn't imagined that he would have these. How did he even get them? This was a troubling sight for Ian, but he pushed aside his worry and continued on with what was happening at the moment. "The panties are a nice touch." Max looked down at his underwear with his pink face, quietly thanking him. Max stood awkwardly, waiting for his orders from Ian. He wanted to do more, but there was no way he would admit it. It took Ian a minute to realize this, but when he did he smirked his typical cocky smirk and ordered Max to turn around. "Are you clean?" Max nodded silently, understanding where Ian was going with this. "Bend over on your bed, and spread." Max obeyed immediately, receiving a whisper of "good boy" from the American.

Ian just watched while Max bent over the bed, both hands on his ass, spreading, his knees shaking with anticipation. His ass was just as pink as his lips, it made Ian happy that he was able to see such an elegant boy in a vulnerable state like that, a sight that surely not many had seen. When Ian was satisfied he called Max over, "You can sit down now." Max sat down on his chair, scooting it back a little so that Ian could see more of his body. Ian stood, removing his boxers while Max gaped at the sight. It seriously was fucking huge. Max was well endowed himself, but the size of Ian's was ridiculous. Max dreaded and adored the idea of it being inside of him. Ian began stroking himself, slicking precum over his cock. He went faster, moaning out a quiet "auh, Max" every once in a while. His eyes were clamped shut, but opened once he realized Max had been completely silent. "I'm glad you find this entertaining, but you need to start touching yourself now." Max hesitated, so Ian repeated himself a little louder, his tone more strict. "I said, touch yourself, now."

Max took his length into his hands, Ian watching eagerly whilst still touching himself. "Faster." Max sped up his hands, moaning loudly. Max was loud everywhere else, so it was no surprise that he was loud in bed (or in this case, in chair). As he picked up the pace his moans got louder. "Eeen, ah Ian." He moaned the other boys name, knowing that it was driving him crazy. It was at this time that Ian began to truly appreciate how Max's thick Australian accent said his name, and his love for the sound only grew the longer they knew each other, with each year brought even more love.

The two boys both sat, watching each other for what seemed like forever until Max couldn't stand to keep his eyes open. He loved watching Ian, but when he got closer to climax he could hardly keep his eyes open. At this time, Ian moaned louder for Max, even if he couldn't see him, Ian would make sure he had material to cum too.

Max sat stroking himself as fast as he could, his eyes squeezed shut with his mouth open, moaning out the other boys name. It was the sweetest sound that Ian had ever heard.

"Ian ahh fuck Ian! I-Ian!" Max yelled out as he came all over himself. Ian came soon after, the image of Max covered in cum too good for him to stop himself. While Max was messy, Ian came cleanly into his hand. He didn't particularly enjoy the feeling of being covered in his own cum. Max, on the other hand, loved it. It made him feel dirty and even more like a slut.

There they sat, breathing heavily and trying to come down from the wonderful high when Max mumbled out an "If I was there I'd love to swallow every last drop of your cum."

Ian, hearing every word that Max said, replied with "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"I SAID," Max practically yelled, had he raised his voice any more the neighbors definitely would have been able to hear him, "IF I was THERE, I'd LOOVE to swallow EVERY LAST drop of your delicious cum." His emphasis on certain words was unnecessary, but appreciated nonetheless. "Guess you'll have to make do and eat your own." Ian expected Max to protest, but he happily scooped it up with his fingers and licked it right off. What? It's not like Max had never eaten his own cum before. Ian, however, did not eat it. He merrily walked to his bathroom and washed it off, taking enough time for Max to get dressed. This time he wasn't wearing his dress and panties, he was wearing a loose Mario tee with boxers. Despite it not being what Ian had expected, it was still absolutely lovely.

Ian yawned loudly, after his climax he had lost all his energy, not that he had much to begin with. It was 7:33 AM and he had gotten about 2 hours of sleep. Max reciprocated the yawn, though he had only been awake for 6 hours, he felt exhausted.

"If we both go to sleep right now, we'll wake up at the same time and can talk to each other for the rest of the day." Max suggested. Ian nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, let's do that."

"Goodnight, Ian darling." Max blew a kiss through the screen and giggled profusely.

"Goodnight cunt." Ian let out a small chuckle, "Sweet dreams, cutie. I had fun tonight." Max nodded.

"I did too. Goodnight."

"Goodnight"

They hung up and Max stretched out his legs, walking over to his bed and hanging the dress up, not caring about the panties on the floor. He cuddled up into his 3 blankets (how he slept with that many blankets in the heat of Australia, no one knows. He said it was cold, with it being the time of the year it was, but it was still 83 Fahrenheit).

That night he dreamt of Ian. Not the night they'd had, just cuddling up to him, going on dates, marrying him...

Chapter Text

Today was the day Ian comes to Australia, he had already boarded the plane 11 hours ago and Max waited impatiently at his house for him.
The past two weeks had been filled with Max asking Ian if he was completely, 100% sure that he wanted to come to Australia just for him, and Ian assuring Max that he wanted to come, and that even if their relationship didn’t work out that he was still at a great college. Ian was sure that the relationship would work out, but Max was still terrified. He’d only been in one relationship before, and that didn’t work out for shit.
It was 12 pm, and Max had promised Ian that he would take him to his dorm to put his stuff away and get settled in.
Max looked himself in his full length mirror. He wanted to look his best, but he couldn’t stop nitpicking everything about his appearance. Of course Ian would like him no matter how he looked, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t put in any effort.
He wore a light blue button up shirt with black pants and black vans. Even if he hated how he looked, he had to admit he looked pretty damn good at the moment.

He loaded into his car, triple checking that he had everything with him. There were only 30 minutes until the plane was supposed to arrive, and the drive was 35 minutes away, but it didn’t really matter since the damn planes were never on time anyway. The drive was boring, and Max was filled with anxiety the entire time.

12:43 was when Max arrived, he went straight to an employee asking if they had any idea when Flight 261 was supposed to arrive. The tall brunet man, who was clearly an American, let out an enthusiastic “about 20 minutes, friend!”. He enthusiasm annoyed Max slightly, but overall made him cheerier.
“Thanks,” he squinted his eyes trying to make out his name tag, “Mark.”

“You waiting for family?” The mans smile really was contagious.
“No uh,” Max couldn’t help but smile wildly at the words he was about to say, “I’m actually waiting for my boyfriend.”
Marks eyes seemed to light up at the words, and seeing him smiling like this made Max realize that he had to recognize him from somewhere. But he couldn’t figure out where. Maybe he’d just seen him at the airport when traveling before.

“Ian?” Mark asked. Max stared blankly at Mark for a moment, trying to figure out how he knew that when it suddenly clicked.

“Oh shit! You’re fuckin markiplier! I hardly even recognized you without the colored hair and facial hair!”

Mark laughed it off before replying with, “yeah, I’m not allowed to have it on the job. I don’t blame you, I haven’t been on the internet in a while.”
Mark was right, it’d been at least two years since he’d uploaded anything. And he wasn’t too popular anyway.

Max was going to tell him how much of a fan he was, but was interrupted by Marks radio going off. He spoke some code words that Max didn’t recognize, then tapped his watch. “Looks like your boyfriends plane just landed.”

Max nodded “Thanks man. See you around.” And shook Marks hand.

Mark nodded letting out an energetic “Totally, maybe we can collab sometime.”
Max was off before he could reply to the older man, a large smile creeping onto his face. He waited close to the gate, watching excitedly as a flow of people came through. He watched as the families were reunited with hugs and kisses, longing to be able to touch Ian.

Finally he saw a glimpse of Ian. Ian was looking around for Max, clearly not seeing the Australian. “O’er here, cunt!” A goofy smile spread across Ian’s face as he ran over to Max. Max was so caught up in how beautiful Ian was to even notice that he was flipping him off. As soon as he noticed Max returned the middle finger to the older boy.

The two embraced in a hug and Max swore he could feel and erection pressing against him but before he had too much time to think about it Ian pulled away. “Shall we go, then?”
“After you, m’lady.” Max curtsied.
“Oh no,” Ian’s lips turned into a frown. “You’re definitely the lady in this relationship.”

Chapter Text

Since Ian had just got to Australia, and he had two suitcases worth of clothes, the boys decided to stop by his new dorm first. Max insisted on carrying both of Ian’s suitcases, but Ian would only let him carry the heavier of the two.

As they entered the building they were greeted by a man with a beard who appeared to be in his 30s, his name tag read Ethan Klein and his face had a large smile. The two boys walked to the counter he was at to check in and Ian seemed to be drawn to his charismatic nature.

“Hello boyz! How can I help you today?” He was dressed in a goofy tee with ‘Vape Nation’ written on it, with shorts pulled up as high as they possibly could go, with a fanny pack around his waist. They couldn’t help but wonder how he could get a job at such a prestigious university.

“My names Ian Carter, I’m new here I need to get my key.” He pulled out his ID from his tuna-shaped wallet to show to the older man.
“Of course. HILA, IAN CARTER IS HERE SHOW HIM TO HIS ROOM!!!” They couldn’t help but notice how Ethan himself was American, which made his job at the university even more puzzling.
A younger woman with black hair came out from the office behind the counter. Her clothes were similar to Ethan’s, but she didn’t look so out of place or goofy in them. She led them to an elevator, and they could hear Ethan yelling out “Have a blessed day!” behind them. The boys smiled at each other, their free hands connecting and they stepped into the elevator.
“Since you came so late in the year you won’t have a roommate unless someone else transfers in. Consider yourself lucky. Now you’re boyfriend can stay the night any time.” Hila was incredibly soft spoken, unlike the man at the front desk. For the first time they noticed that her name tag had the same last name as Ethan’s.
The boys both knew that there was no way they could be related, but they couldn’t imagine how they could possibly be married to each other, as their personalities seemed so different. After they exchanged a few puzzled glances Max decided to speak up.
“Is Ethan your husband?”
Hila nodded, taking out a key from her own fanny pack.
“We’ve been married 10 years.” They all stepped inside of the dorm as Hila took out a few broachers from her fanny pack, handing them to Ian.
“They should’ve told you all the information in here before you moved, but if not most everything you need to know is in here or in the handbook.” Hila nodded in the direction of a table with a big book (if you could call a bunch of papers taped together a book). “Your tuition pays for food so you can eat for free any time the cafe downstairs is open. And uh- we don’t normally do this but I’m sure Ethan would be willing to make an exception and let your boyfriend eat for free. ‘Anything for true love’ he always says. All we ask is that if you come back at night you get in before 1 am.”

Ian thanked Hila as she handed him the key and left them alone.

This dorm was amazing, like, nicer than any dorm Ian had ever seen. It had a fully functioning kitchen (which was rendered useless with the meal plan Ian was on), a tv, it’s own bathroom that wasn’t shared with the dorm next door, and even- get this- rooms of their own! Even if he had a roommate he wouldn’t have to sleep in the same room as him! This place was nicer than he had ever imagined it to be.

The boys sat down the suitcases on Ian’s new bed, opening them up to begin the tedious process of putting his clothes in the right places. The majority of his clothing was shirts. In fact, he only brought 3 pairs of pants, including the pair he was wearing. The two made small talk as they folded the clothes together, Ian occasionally scolding Max for putting them in the wrong place.

“So what do you want to do when we’re finished with putting these clothes up?”
Ian carefully decided his response to the question, making the cutest concentrated face.
“Maybe we could go shopping. As you can see I brought no shorts and it’s fucking boiling here. Then go out to eat. I could meet Chad?”
Ian hadn’t heard much about Chad from Max, but he had seen him in a few of his videos. What Ian didn’t know, was that Max knew for a fact that Ian wouldn’t like Chad. Max loved his friend, he’d provided him much needed comfort and good laughs, but he had to admit he was pretty fucking annoying. Despite all this, he knew he had to let them meet eventually.

“Sure. Want to come to my place after?”

Ian frowned, but nodded yes. He liked Max, a lot, maybe even loved him, but he didn’t want to move things too awful fast. Sure, they masturbated to each other on Skype, but that’s not the same as real sex.
As far as he knew Max didn’t even want to have sex, but he was still weary of it.

Oh who was he kidding? He wanted to fuck Max as hard as possible and as soon as possible.

When Ian finished putting up his clothes he quickly put the smaller suitcase under his bed, receiving a suspicious glance from Max.

“Let’s get going.”