Life's going okay, Rand.
I'm pretty happy. Been working. Not as constantly as you, but that was always gonna be the case, Mr. Workaholic. But it's good. I'm even doing a play now. (Fare me better this time, TW, you fucker.)
I miss you. I hate that I miss you so much. More than that, I hate that I don't miss you nearly fucking enough.
It blows my mind to think how much a part of each other's lives we were for so long and how much we're not now. Yeah, things end, you move on, and the show ended and we moved on. We're still friends, I know. But the phone calls are down to… once every couple of months maybe? Sure, I could call more… even though you probably wouldn't have time to talk… but it just feels like this is how it is now. And I just need to deal.
Thing is, I have. That's what bothers me. I live a life that has nothing to do with you, we talk only occasionally, and sometimes days pass in which I don't think of you at all, and that fucking scares me. It makes me sad.
I don't want to be some guy you used to know. Equal to some mostly forgotten school mate or… I don't know, camp friend. And I sure as fuck never want you to be that to me.
I don't want to be this good at living without you. (But my talents never lay quite where I wanted them to.)
I don't know exactly how far life's gonna keep going on, us in different directions. I care, but it doesn't matter. Because, thing is, you'll still be the most important person in my life.
Even if you're not in it anymore.