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Fight,and stay alive

Chapter Text

WARNINGS FOR THIS FANFICTION

-PTSD

-SELF HARM

-LGBT ( for those who idk how or why get triggered by gayness. You might wanna leave now,because oh it's gonna get really gay really quick.)

 

Things to know

-The reader is Dean Winchester. ( I'm so sorry lovelies I will try to make a reader insert eventually.)

-Pay attention to Any background details

-I personally think I suck at writing but I'm bored so yea

 -Italics are Castiel in the present

-Bold Italics are Castiel's journal entry

-Normal text is Dean

-Dean is younger tan Cas by 2 years

-Sam is in 5th grade

-Please critic this. It will help me.

 

 

Chapter Text

 

"And then Mr.Fizzles set the water bottle on fire, and Mr.Garth's shirt accidentally did too!" My little brother looks at me with a grin. He's such a nerd. Jesus.

"Thats awesome Sammy." I say anyways.  The kid maybe a nerd, but he's a good nerd. I'd rather build up his dreams instead of crush them.

The alarm on my phone begins to go off. "Fuck."I say. Sam looks at me alarmed and I grab his arm. We run.

_________________________________________ 

I quickly usher Sam inside and try to sneak past my mom."Dean. Please come here." She says in a sweet voice.

I look at Sam as his lip quivers. "Go upstairs and lock the door. I'll be there soon." I whisper. Sam looks at me with worry but quickly run up the stairs quietly. I don't move until I hear the faint sound of his door shutting.When I do I walk infront of her. "Yes ma'am?"

"You're late." She says before taking a long drag of her cigerate. "You know I hate it when you're late. 

"I'm sorry ma'am, I had to buy the apples you asked me to get." 

"Don't get smart with me."

"Yes ma'am."

"Where's my change?" She asked.

"I had to pay with my-" She grabbed my arm and pushed her cigerate into my hand. I cried out through clenched teeth."Didn't I just say don't talk back. Now hand me my God damn money before I hurt you worse." I go into my pocket with my other hand and pull put $37.00.  She immediately let my arm go and counted the money. "This will be enough. Now get out of my sights little boy, and you better not tell you're father when he gets home either." She sneered at me. 

"Yes ma'am." I say turning towrds the stairs and towards the bathroom. I washed the Burn and placed a cold cloth on it.

"I'm sorry I didn't help Dean."Sam said appering in the door way. "Hey it's fine kid. Just head back yo you're room I'll come and get you when it's safe ok?" I smile at him. Sam weakly smiles back, and runs back towards his room. 

 

After bandaging up my hand I walked into my room and spoted a book right in the center of my bed. I look at it confused than pick it up and flip it open to the 1st page.

If you're reading this I'm probably dead already. This is my journal. I kind of tried to write down all the things everyone said to me, but if it seems wrong, sorry.

Anyways I wrote this just for you,so you could really see what happened. So you could expose the truth.

Now yes you may not know who I am, but I know who you are. I know you'll fight for the revolution, and what we had.

Please read my story, and save yourself.

Fight, and Stay alive~ Cas

P.s. Don't let them see this, and never let them see the real you.

I close the book and look up completely confused. “Sammy must have left his notebook in here earlier.” I mutter to the air. I put the book down on my bed and turn to get my bookbag,when the book fell off the bed and flipped to a random page.

I assure you Dean, this isn't an accident. Now please start from the beginning and read, if you have any questions ask.

I slam the book shut and drop it on the floor. ”This shit is above my pay grade.”  I whisper to the air. “Who the hell are you and how are you doing this?” I ask the air. The book makes a loud slapping noise and I peak over the edge of my bed.

If you want to know. Than start from the beginning.

”I'm not reading jackshit til you tell me what the hell is going on.” I look down again

You always have been stubborn. My name is Castiel. I am dead.

“So you're like a ghost?” I ask.

 I suppose I am in a sense.Now will you please read?

I nod nervously and stare at the paper as new words appear.

Thank you

December 12,2016

“Castiel, oh Castiel!” There was a slight pause. “Castiel wakey wakey.” I felt a poke in my side.

I don't want to wake up. Waking up means talking to other humans, and I ,my dear friend am terrible at human communication. I'm as awkward as they come. Or Oh God that sounded so wrong.

“What do you want Gabri- FUCK” I was on the floor flat on my back staring up at a soon to be dead older brother. “That hurt you ass.” I say as I rub my back.

“You were “sleeping” too hard, so I had to wake you up somehow.” Gabriel said with a smirk.

Now this is the part where I awkwardly tell you who I am I suppose. My name is Castiel Sephriel Novak. I am or well was 17 years old, but I will be turning 18 on Christmas Day.

I have four older brothers, One older sister, and One younger sister. All my older siblings except Gabriel, have moved out my apartment. Now it's just down to Gabriel, Me, and my little sister Anna .Gabriel takes care of my little sister and I.

My Dad has been missing for a year now. While my mom..My mom died in a car crash, when I was about 7 years old. While yes I still do have 4 other siblings. Gabriel offered to take care of Anna and I until we were ready to leave. My other siblings didn't really care, much and agreed.Well... Michael my eldest brother and Uriel my other older brother come by every now and then, but they usually only come to criticize Gabriel.

"Wait. I remember you.Castiel." I say to the air

 

Really?

"You killed yourself. Two years ago.I remember that day."

No. I didn't kill myself. 

I looked at the words over and over again. "What do you mean you didn't kill yourself?"

I didn't kill myself. I was murdered.

They killed me.