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oh gog why

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Your hands hover over the bedamned keyboard. What'll it be tonight? Stupid kids getting high off of sopor slime? Stupid trolls getting pregnant which is apparently not even a thing that happens? Something involving you?

You fucking hope not.

The f5 button depresses easily under your finger, characters long since worn off. Ah, a new one.


Your eyes slide over to the bowl. The scotty dogs fill your palm before rational thought can fill your mind. The acidic, sweet chemical flavor makes your vision explode as you chew mechanically, gulping down dozens of tiny candy canines.

Vision returns.

You read the new prompt, smiling amicably. Looks like the anon forgot to put in a subject. You reply cheerfully, one-handed but deft, carrot slipping into place and carefully-chosen kinks following.

You post the reply with familiar ease, only belatedly realizing that someone created a connection between your default picture and your webcam.

You sit back, smile, and continue to chew.