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The door to his office slammed open, revealing a blond with narrowed eyes, suitcase in hand.
Roy sighed. "Edward. To what do I owe this visit?"
Fishing in the pocket of his coat, Edward tossed a box across the desk. "Here, bastard. Al told me to give you this. It's from Xing," he added, unnecessarily.
"A gift from your brother?" That was unexpected. Roy picked up the small box. "What is it?"
"How the hell should I know?" Edward dropped his small suitcase and flopping onto the couch. Kicking up his feet, he settled them on the coffee table and rubbed his eyes.
Roy set the box back down, flicking a glance toward the younger man. "You look terrible."
Edward flashed an obscene Xingese gesture his way. "Sleeping on trains isn't as easy as it used to be." Before Roy could retort, the younger man went on. "If he can get away, Al said he'd try to make it back for the wedding." His nose wrinkled. "I think that damned Ling has my little brother so wrapped up in his bedclothes, if Al comes, they'll both be here." Straightening, he gestured toward Roy's desk. "You going to open that box?"
Roy had to shift mental gears a few times throughout that monologue and one thing in particular stood out. "Alphonse and…the emperor of Xing?"
"Yeah, yeah." Edward waved a hand in disgust. "I hope that bean girl is okay with it. I'd hate to hear she killed them both in the Emperor's bedroom or something." His mobile brows drew down. "She'd have to get past Ran Fan first, I guess."
"Alphonse and Ling?"
"Focus, bastard." Edward sneered.
Roy scowled back, though, as usual, it had no effect on Edward. "I was just verifying I heard you correctly."
"Yeah, you are pretty old, you could be going deaf."
It was Roy's turn to flash an obscene gesture. Edward snorted in response. "Why are you so curious about my present, Edward? Afraid of what your little brother might have sent me as a wedding present?"
"Considering what I saw him doing in Xing?"
"What was he doing in Xing?"
Edward rolled his eyes. "Everything? I interrupted an orgy!" At Roy's glance, he glared. "I did not join in!"
"I figured you weren't even invited."
"Fuck you."
"I think that's generally what happens in an orgy, yes."
The snarl was amazingly eloquent.
Roy smirked. "Ah, Edward, it's so refreshing to see how adult you've become. Why, just a year ago, you wouldn't have been able to say 'orgy' aloud. Much less that your brother was in a sexual relationship with anyone. I have to say, Miss Rockbell has certainly changed you for the better."
"Are you going to open the box?"
It was a pity he wasn't rising to the bait. Roy pulled the box closer by the string wrapped around it. "I wonder if I should wait to open it when Riza's available."
Edward groaned, flopping heavily back into the couch. "Would you just open the damned thing?"
"Why are you so concerned about my gift, Edward?" Roy paused, his hands on the knotted string. "Maybe…Alphonse gave you a present, too, to take home to Miss Rockbell?"
Ah, there was the flush, crawling up Edward's neck, over his face and up into his hairline. "What if he did?"
This was far too much fun. "Was it a sexual aid, Edward?"
"W-what?" His voice cracked, sliding up a half an octave. "How the hell would I know?"
"I'm just wondering if Alphonse was kind enough to purchase gifts our women would enjoy as much as we would." Roy considered dragging it out farther, but Edward might have a stroke, turning fuschia like that.
"Just open the fucking box!"
Case in point. Roy reached into his desk, pulling out a pair of scissors and cutting through the string. He did amuse himself by taking his time replacing the scissors in the drawer, managing to keep a poker face despite Edward's growling and wriggling. Opening the box, Roy raised his eyebrows, letting out a low whistle. "This is impressive."
"Nng!" Edward bounded to his feet, snatching the box out of Roy's hands. "This!" He dumped the contents on the desktop, pointing at it with a quivering forefinger. "What the hell is this thing, anyway?"
Roy picked up the ring, carved out of a rich, dark green stone. The inside of the ring was flat and silky smooth, the outside knobbed and ridged. "Alphonse didn't tell you?"
Practically dancing in place, Edward screeched, "No! He shoved a box at me in the train station. I thought that damned prince - "
"Emperor."
"Asshole was gonna blow up, laughing. He said he'd have sent a book but they haven't translated them yet!" Edward jerked a box out of his jacket pocket, popping it open to reveal a ring, much like Roy's gift, only of some dark stone, nearly black, with an opalescent sheen. The carving was more intricate, a dragon coiled around itself, with its head jutting out from the loops of its body. "I mean, it's cool, but it's not a bracelet unless some little kid wears it and," Edward thumped his hands on the desk.
The squeaking sound startled Roy, even more so when he realized it was coming out of him.
Edward's eyes widened at the sound of Roy's suppressed laughter, then narrowed sharply. "The hell are these things, Mustang?"
Roy gave up trying to contain his laughter, letting it loose. Edward gnashed his teeth, his fury practically vibrating out of his body as Roy pounded on the desktop, whooping. "You're such a virgin, Edward! Don't you even know a cock ring when you see one?"
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