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stupid cupid

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“... And I think you're beautiful, and your eyes shine more than the moon itself at night” No, no, no!  Wonsik sighs for the umpteenth time as he runs a hand through his hair furiously — glancing at the clock on the wall makes him realize he has only 5 minutes left until classes are over, so he tightens his grip on the pen he was holding and focuses again. Wonsik's hands are shaking by the time he writes a new word on the paper; he frowns, looks down to his feet and smiles sheepishly.

“If someone saw me they would think I'm crazy...” The black-haired boy murmurs to himself in disbelief, he takes another glance at the clock, and with the little time he has left, he finishes off the letter.

“I just think it's funny how words don't seem to come out at this exact moment; because I think a lot of things about you... and there's so much I wish I could tell you... but I don't know how. I guess you're just like that: ineffable… not easy to explain... to comprehend... I see you every day but I still can't seem to find words to describe how beautiful I think you are, I still can't understand how is it that you're so astounding yet so down to earth and kind...”

(…)

“Meet me at the soccer field at night if you accept my confession.

With love,

W.S.”

Wonsik smiles again, his feet don't fail him as they direct him towards the lockers, where number 1004 seems to shine the most amongst the others. Locker 1004 seems to be silently calling for him — so he goes there, Wonsik doesn't hesitate for a small second, and with shaky hands and nervousness in his entire body, he folds the letter delicately, takes that hairpin he stole from that girl on his Chemistry class out of his pockets and tries to open the lock without much succeeding. The raven boy frowns in despair, noticing how the clock ticks and tells him there's only 1 minute left until the school bell rings again, how the students are right now holding on to their seats with their bags on their backs, ready to go out of their classrooms and head towards their lockers, and then finally go home; so he twists the pin inside of the lock again, and again and again…

By the time the bell rings, Wonsik is already walking away with a knowing smirk on his face.

 

\( ● ⌒ ∇ ⌒ ● )/

 

Kim Wonsik knows he has a lot of virtues: he knows he is good with words, for example — no, he is great with words, hence the reason he decided to confess to his crush of 4 years through a letter instead of, he doesn’t know, askinghim out through Facebook or something a normal person would do (Taekwoon tells him this, after he laughs at Wonsik’s cheesy plans of confessing), Wonsik knows he’s also quite a looker, he himself has a lot of people confessing their love to him every now and then, he’s kind and funny and has a great taste in music as well, but one thing Wonsik know he is not that good in, is in being patient.

Actually, Kim Wonsik isn’t any good in being patient.

Bouncing on his right leg nervously and looking around every 2 minutes, Wonsik waits for him. He wonders if he has dressed up more than necessary for him, and sighs when another 2 minutes pass by. Is he not coming? Did I forget to mention what field we were supposed to meet in?

… Is he not coming?

“Of course he's coming...” Wonsik mumbles in a small voice, he closes his eyes and throws his head back, thinking of the possibilities of Lee Hongbin actually showing up and not leaving him alone in the cold with a bouquet of red (and really expensive) flowers in his hands.

He wasn't like that... right?

Wonsik frowns, and— no, he decides: Hongbin wasn't like that.

… At least that’s what he liked to think. A thousand of thoughts come and go through his mind while he waits for Hongbin, and when he hears light footsteps above the grass he opens his eyes, excited and nervous and happy about the fact that Hongbin had showed up after all.

All thoughts are gone from his head when he opens his eyes.

The raven-haired is slightly scared to look at the boy walking towards him, but when he does; slowly and with eyes half-closed, he starts from the bottom: with the other boy’s shoes (a white, quite dirty pair of converse), his washed-off denim jeans, long neck and a single, small earring on his left ear, and then he finally does it — Wonsik looks at the boy right in the eyes, the smile that was starting to form in Wonsik’s face suddenly disappears, as he realizes it is not what he was expecting.

No — he corrects himself: He wasn't what he was expecting.

“What?” Wonsik wonders out loud, he tilts his head to the side and scans the face of the boy in front of him: the boy — who Wonsik had never seen before in his whole life, is looking at him expectantly with big, doe-like eyes, and with his pink, plump lips, he pouts, in what, Wonsik is guessing, is cute. Wonsik looks at the boy’s hair: light-brown, messy and curled at the ends, and frowns, still speechless even after a few minutes, and confused, so confused... Wonsik had come to the soccer field expecting dark, straight hair and pale skin, dimples, round eyes… Not... this.

The boy in front of him frowns too; he looks like he has something to say and actually mumbles something that Wonsik is not able to understand completely. To say that he's annoyed is an understatement, so he keeps the frown on his mouth; his eyebrows furrowed, and decides to ignore the brunet boy by looking past through him, soon noticing two bulky shadows coming closer and closer to them.

“Shi...”

“What?” The boy finally speaks loudly, he looks just as confused as Wonsik, who has his eyes opened wide like plates, and tilts his head slightly to the right, hoping the stranger could understand what he was trying to say.

The boy turns his head around just slightly: enough for him to notice the two security guards walking towards them in a hurried fashion, and only gasps when Wonsik grabs him by the wrist and drags him to start running toward the opposite direction. The brunet doesn’t have another choice than following Wonsik.

Wonsik can't feel his feet by the time he stops hearing footsteps behind them, all he knows is that both the stranger and him have been running for minutes that felt like hours, and that the grass is wet and slippery thanks to the fact that it has rained all day long. Wonsik can't hear anything behind them anymore but he keeps running, even when darkness is all he can see and agitated breathing is all he can hear.

He smiles.

He doesn’t know if it is the cold wind on his face, his heart beating fast to the thought of being caught by the security guards, the boy’s laugh behind his ear, his hand on his wrist…

But he’s happy.

Something pulls Wonsik back, and he’s afraid and nervous but when he looks back, his shoulders drop, his heart rate is still not normal, but it calms him to know the reason he has stopped is because the boy behind him has stopped running first. Wonsik stops grabbing the brunet’s wrist, and both, tired to say anything at all, just laugh between gasps and breaths. Wonsik decides to lay his knees on the grass for a while, and while he waits for his breathing to slow down, he looks up to the boy in front of him. In the darkness, Wonsik is not able to see the other’s face at all, but he manages to see his bangs, now all messed up and wet from the sweat. Wonsik breathes out… he thinks for a moment.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, his voice is hoarse when he does so, and smiles just slightly when the boy lets out a small laugh.

The brunet shakes his head, biting his lower lip for a moment before reaching out his hand to help Wonsik stand up.

“No, I just ate...” The boy says, and Wonsik raises his eyebrows — the boy's voice is sweet and nice to listen to, but he had spoken so quietly before, that Wonsik realized why he hadn't understand him at first.

The black-haired boy is about to nod when he hears a strange sound coming from the other boy's stomach, something that makes him raise his eyebrows once again in a funny fashion.

“… Are you sure about that?” He smiles, and knows that, even though he's not able to see it at the moment, the boy is blushing.

“I...” He murmurs, but Wonsik doesn't let him finish as he takes him by the wrist once again and starts walking.

“C'mon,” Wonsik says, “I made a reservation after all...” He stops holding his wrist, and crosses his arms against his chest once he's sure that the brunet is following him.

They don't say anything as they sneak out of their school and walk through the busy streets of Seoul at night. The awkwardness came back a few moments ago, and as both walk slowly towards the restaurant, Wonsik decides to steal a few glances to the boy, realizes how curious and interested he seems in everything; as if he didn't live in Seoul, as if he hadn't seen the packed streets before, the lights, the food...

“We're not that far away from the restaurant anymore...” Wonsik starts talking; he smiles faintly, but stops when he sees the boy again.

The boy, however, never stops smiling.

“Okay.” The brunet says back, he shrugs with his shoulders and starts looking around him once again. Wonsik would be lying if he said he didn't find the scene quite... endearing.

The stranger boy with stars in his eyes and a smile on his lips, turning his head to the sides every now and then to make sure he is not missing out on a single thing that’s going on the streets, but still, unaware of the boy right beside him, looking at him with curiosity and a smile so small, that Wonsik didn’t know about it either.

“Oh,” Wonsik remembers something as he looks at the brunet, he laughs sheepishly and finally gets his attention, “I still don’t know your name...”

The boy tilts his head and frowns, “What do you mean…?”

Wonsik keeps the smile on his face, but furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Was he supposed to know him? Even when the other boy doesn't say anything, looks down and frowns, Wonsik keeps smiling.

“I'm… Jaehwan, Lee Jaehwan,” The boy — Jaehwan, introduces himself with little enthusiasm, Wonsik doesn't notice, though, as he widens his smile.

“Nice. I'm Wonsik.” He says, and raises one eyebrow, “We’re here already.” He says, offering Jaehwan his arm, and when the boy takes it, he walks towards the entrance of a fancy-looking place.

“Woah...” Jaehwan murmurs — Wonsik guesses that he wasn’t supposed to hear that, so he only smiles at Jaehwan’s small exclamations and walks him towards the counter.

It's not until they're being directed to their designated table by a woman that looked to be around her 20’s that both of them realize they're the only teenagers in the place, and how out-of-place they looked in the restaurant.

“They're looking at us…” Jaehwan whispers to Wonsik, but Wonsik only nods back, trying to reassure the other with his confidence.

“By the way… Jaehwan?” Wonsik whispers back, waiting until he looks at him to talk again, “Let’s ignore the petals, yeah?” He smiles.

Jaehwan raises his eyebrows, looks intrigued, but nods anyways, and laughs quietly when he sees the table they're supposed to sit in: because, yeah, there were petals: a lot of them, actually, all of them were bright red and together, they formed a heart that was big as their table. Wonsik, not-so-accidentally, takes a few of them with his hands and throws them to the floor, Jaehwan notices, but he keeps the smile on his face.

“... And the music...” Wonsik adds, hiding his face on the table when a violinist comes to their table, Jaehwan laughs and says something like not now to the musician, and the music fades into the background. When Wonsik raises his head from the table, Jaehwan is looking at him.

Wonsik doesn't know what to say, but Jaehwan still stares, he opens his mouth to speak — to say anything to make things less uncomfortable, but jumps from his seat instead when he hears a voice behind him.

“Good evening; welcome to Pour Le France, I'm Nayoung and I'll be your waitress for tonight,” A brown-haired girl with long hair in a ponytail informs, she has a small notebook on her hands and she's smiling kindly to the pair, “Are you guys having a nice brother’s night out?” She asks, raising her eyebrows with curiosity.

Wonsik looks at Jaehwan, who is shifting uncomfortable on his seat, and frowns.

“No.” Jaehwan talks before Wonsik can do anything, and stretches his arm out to hold Wonsik’s hand, “We're dating, actually.” Jaehwan sighs dreamily and turns his head to stare at Wonsik, “... Right, Wonsikkie?”

Wonsik widens his eyes at Jaehwan, who tugs on his hands a little stronger than necessary, and smiles at the waitress.

“… Yeah… honey.” Wonsik says quietly, furrowing his eyebrows when the waitress frowns and glances at their hands and the petals on the table.

“... Right...” The waitress mumbles; she shakes her head in disapproval and turns away to leave. Wonsik looks at her until she disappears, not before whispering something to another girl, who seemed to work at the restaurant as well.

Wonsik shakes his head in disbelief, and takes both of his hands to his already-messy hair, cracking up when Jaehwan raises his eyebrows at him, a smirk on his face as he tries his best not to laugh with Wonsik.

“Good evening; welcome to Pour Le France, my name is Sejeong,” The girl from before interrupts them, smiling softly, “Your waitress for the night. Are you guys ready to order?”

Wonsik exchanges looks with Jaehwan before laughing together.

‘’Honey... really, Wonsik?’’ Jaehwan giggles, shaking his head when Wonsik shrugs off with his shoulders.

 

\( ● ⌒ ∇ ⌒ ● )/

 

Lee Jaehwan looks delicate, like the flower petals that were used to decorate the table they were eating in. He looks small and has this… weird thing about him that makes Wonsik want to protect him — even though they just met, because, really, he looks like someone who needs to be protected. Jaehwan looks like someone who couldn't break a plate… but as the night goes on and Wonsik gets to know the brunet better, he realizes that is because he would break the whole crockery instead; Wonsik notices as he looks at Jaehwan devouring Wonsik’s dessert.

Wonsik smiles sheepishly as it seems like Jaehwan has completely forgotten about him, and clears his throat just in the hopes of making him realize that he was… well, there.

“So...” Wonsik mumbles, he's been playing with his fork for the last few minutes, he’s been wondering if Jaehwan is going to talk about Hongbin at all, because so far, they’ve only awkwardly conversed about school and teachers and that waitress that was still giving them glares from the other side of the restaurant.

Wonsik tentatively looks at Jaehwan, who gulps down some water before looking back at him.

“Yes?” He asks, tilting his head to the side in that adorable fashion that Wonsik has been seeing all night.

Wonsik sighs, he looks around him and realizes most of the people that were on the restaurant when they arrived had left already, and leans on his chair in despair.

“Lee Hongbin sent you here?” He asks, Jaehwan is in the middle of taking another piece of chocolate cake to his mouth, but takes the fork down when Wonsik talks.

The brunet opens his eyes wide like plates, and his mouth turns into a small 'o' before crossing his arms against his chest.

He smiles.

“Lee Hongbin…” He nods with his head, looking at the distance, probably thinking. “You like him.”

Wonsik hesitates to confess, “Y-yeah...”

Jaehwan takes a finger to his lips, as if he were thinking deeply about something, “So… the letter… you wrote that to Hongbin…’’

Wonsik frowns.

“What...?” The raven boy talks, but doesn't finish his sentence, “Y-you know him, or... why are you here instead of him?”

“Uh…” It takes a few moments before Jaehwan answers, but when he finally does, he takes the fork he had been using and starts playing with it, “Yeah, we do talk… sometimes — but yes.”

“And...?” Wonsik asks, expectantly.

Jaehwan bites on his lower lip, “Why are you speaking informally, anyways?”

Wonsik’s shoulders fall, “… Huh?”

“Yes! This whole night, you've been calling me you! Have some respect for your elders!” Jaehwan frowns; he crosses his arms again and pouts — to which Wonsik laughs loudly, his eyes crinkle up and he has to take some water to calm down, but Jaehwan only glares at him, annoyed.

“Call me hyung from now on.” Jaehwan demands, he's not looking at him but at the menu on the table instead, and Wonsik can’t tell whether the brunet is joking or not.

“Wait what?” Wonsik frowns, “How old are you?”

The face Jaehwan is making makes him look like a little kid who’s just been denied ice cream ‘— he being older just does not make sense to Wonsik.

Jaehwan pouts again, “I’m 18 years old...” He mumbles, “But uh… anyways, shouldn't we be leaving already? It's getting late.” The apparently-older-boy says, he raises his hand to get the waitress' attention and steals a quick glance to Wonsik.

“I know I should pay for your dinner as well since you're younger than me and everything but… I didn't bring a lot of money with me...” he mumbles, embarrassed, “So I can only pay for mine...”

Wonsik shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about the check.” He assures him, but Jaehwan raises a finger.

“This is not a date, Kim Wonsik.” Jaehwan smiles at him and puts his money on the table. And Wonsik, perplexed, only manages to nod, putting his money on the table as fast as he can, and following Jaehwan out of the restaurant when he realizes he's leaving already.

“Jaehwan!” Wonsik calls out, “Do you… want me to take you home?” He asks.

Jaehwan is almost running by the time Wonsik speaks, and he stops for a small second to let Wonsik catch up with him.

“It's not necessary...” He says, looks into his eyes and smiles, “Thank you for tonight...”

Wonsik smiles back at him, he has his hands on his jeans' pockets when he sees him leave; and trembling because of the cold, he frowns, picks up his pace and follows the brunet again.

Wonsik grips his hand around Jaehwan’s wrist again, and Jaehwan jumps from the surprise.

“I shouldn't have asked,” Wonsik says, smiles, “Let's go.”

Jaehwan only nods.

Wonsik doesn’t let go from Jaehwan’s hand this time.

 

\( ● ⌒ ∇ ⌒ ● )/

 

“Thank you again...” Jaehwan mutters, looking down to his once-white converse. Wonsik notices he boy looks tired, so he only smiles again and nods, he’s tired as well — from all that running — and understands that maybe everything Jaehwan wants now is to be left alone.

“’S no problem, really.” He shrugs it off, looking at Jaehwan’s house in curiosity. He then looks at the street: quiet, calm — anything like the busy Seoul both boys had seen a few hours ago.

Jaehwan nods and smiles.

Wonsik gives the boy a small smile back; he has his attention on a black kitten sitting on Jaehwan’s porch, and giggles, it reminds him of Taekwoon.

Warm lips being pressed against his cheek take Wonsik by surprise. The raven boy widens his eyes in pure astonishment, and takes a step back, confused. Jaehwan is gone by the time Wonsik realizes it is not that big of a deal — Jaehwan had just said goodbye to him — but he still touches his left cheek, right where Jaehwan’s lips had been moments before, and he sighs.

Wonsik's way home never felt so lonely.