You're standing in front of the mirror, doing your hair and makeup like normal. A bit of highlighter here and there. Mascara, the one that is supposedly "better than sex". And a sweet and humble nude eye to top it off. And now the dreadful part. Hair. You have always had long beautiful hair. Hair that made people come up to you in the produce section and say how pretty your hair was. But that's not how it is any more. Not since you went to the doctor. They told you that you had Alopecia. You immune system attacks the hair follicles. It was hard to accept. You took the Cortisone shots in your scalp with pride in hopes it would stop. And you adjusted to the best of your ability. You hid the spots as much as you can. Hid it from Rory. Hid it from everyone. Thankfully no one has noticed. As you continued to brush your hair, more and more came out. More than ever. Clumps of hair just falling out laid across your vanity. And you lose it. The tears and the feeling in you stomach that haunts you every so often. The shame is a pretty perfect packaged wrapped in guilt that gets chucked at you. And you try to catch it before it slams in your gut but fail no matter you efforts. Your hair always meant so much to you. It was your defining feature. And now its leaving you. And then you hear those fimilar steps coming down from the top deck of the boat, he got a bigger boat once you moved in, and you know exactly who it is. Rory. Fuck. You can't hide it anymore.
"Aye love. How a-are you?" He stutters and automatically knows something is wrong by the blood shot eyes and the hair that you haven't bothered to hide yet. "Baby girl. What happened?" He walked toward you, squatting next to you so he is eye level with you sitting on the chair. He grabs your chin softly and looks in your eyes. You finally gather all the courage that is left and answer him.
"Well.. my hair is falling out. It started awhile ago. I figured it was normal. But then I went to a doctor. They told me I had Alopecia and that my hair will continue to fall out unless I get Cortisone shots in my scalp. So I've been getting them. But the hair still falls out...and the shots hurt..." you show him the clumps that scatter the vanity.
"Well, love if it makes you feel better, the only hair I'm not losing is my chest hair." He says as he runs his hands on the top of his head showing you how blad he is getting. That makes you giggle, just a bit. And you crack that little smile that makes him the happiest man in the world.
"But honey, it's different." You run your fingers through your hair and there's a clump. "I shouldn't be losing this much hair." You palm your scalp and feel where the hair is missing.
"I know love. I know those shots hurt. So stop if you want. Hell, I'll even shave your head and help find a wig. Just know I could careless if your hair falls out. Or if your bald. Or if you wear wigs. You are still my sweet girl. You are just as beautiful as the day I first saw you." At this point in time he is standing behind you with his hands around you and he plops a sweet and sudden kiss on the top of your head. "Would you like that baby girl?" He spoke with honesty and love that you couldn't deny. His eye contact made you believe every damn word he said.
"Yeah. I would...But.. even with the the shaved head?" you say meekly. You pull his hand from your chest and show him all the spots that have little to no hair.
"Aye girl. Especially with the shaved head."
Rory, the doll that he is does his best to try and find a hairstyle that would work. But isn't used to your Iphone and fails. Bald it is.You whip what is left of your hair into a ponytail as Rory cleans the mess that is your vanity and grabs his clippers and shears.
"Are you ready baby girl?"
“As ready as I'll ever be!" And just like that you hear the snip of the shears. And the hair is gone. Then there is the buzz that gives you shivers down your spine. The feeling of clippers against your scalp is freedom. Its that feeling of taking your bra off after work. But better. As you see the hair it's like summer rain. The clouds purging the extra weight of shame and stress. You look in the mirror and love it. You run your hands along your now bare scalp and the stubble tickles you. You giggle at the feeling.
"That's my baby girl. Smiles too? Good girl. Do you like it?"
"Yeah, I do. I feel so much better. I feel free. It's so...good.”
Rory kisses the top of your freshly shaved head and you get that warm fuzzy feeling that makes you feel alive.
"See love, your beautiful as always. But, do we need a new rule? No more not telling me things. You can not tell me when this happens my sweet girl. You know how much I love you, right?"
"I know. I should have told you. I just was scared you wouldn't want me anymore. And yes, I know you love me. And I love you too."
"No more thinking like that either. Okay?"