Title: Look what you've done
Character(s): Lindsey McDonald/Angel, Lorne
Word Count: 1,595
A/N: AU during Epiphany
My ears were ringing. I opened my eyes and quickly shut them again because the world was spinning too damn much. The ringing came again, louder this time and I realized it was my damn cell phone. Seemed like just about every part of my body hurt right now, so the phone could wait. Except the cell just kept right on ringing until I fumbled around in my pocket and found the fucking thing.
There was an ache in my bad arm that went all the way to my wrist. He’d ruined my last good hand. The one in my dresser drawer in my apartment made my wrist hurt. Bringing the phone to my ear, I coughed a couple of times before answering. “What?”
“Cupcake, I know you’re not in great shape right now, but if you don’t get your ass over here in the next twenty minutes, I’m going to send the Calvara sisters to do a strip tease in your office tomorrow.”
An image of the twin slug demons popped into my brain and I shuddered. The idea of those two getting naked as they writhed around made my stomach lurch. “Lorne, I don’t have my truck. The son of a bitch stole it.”
He made a rude noise that almost brought a smile to my face. “I know that. Your truck is in my parking lot, pumpkin. And your vampire is currently driving my customers away in droves.”
“Wait a fucking second here. My vampire?” Since when did that undead asshole become mine? “Can’t you just tell him to go away?”
I could hear him moving around and then a noise came through the phone that sounded like a dying yak in heat that was swallowing razor blades. “You hear that? That’s what he’s been doing for the past hour. First he drinks all the whiskey I have and then he starts singing. So I know exactly what the two of you have been up to tonight. He won’t stop, he won’t shut up, and even the most tone deaf demons are fleeing the building. You started this, you come and get him.”
Why me? He’d just kicked the crap out of my body; I wasn’t really interested in dealing with him again. But he did have my truck and I knew Lorne really would send those demons to my office. “As soon as I can get my body to do what I want, I’ll take a cab. But if he leaves, call me. I don’t want to waste a trip.”
“You’re a peach, Lindsey.”
Yeah, that’s me. I was a fucking peach and my life was a pit. Hanging up, I worked on trying to get into a sitting position without passing out. Probably had a concussion from Angel slamming my head into the side of the truck. I knew my face was in a considerable amount of pain along with other parts of my body.
Breathing deeply to see if he’d broken any of my ribs, I punched in the number for a cab company I had used before. By the time it arrived, I was upright, but just barely. The driver took one look at me and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. “Look, just get me to Caritas. I’m fine.”
I must have either fallen asleep or passed out on the way there because the next thing I knew, the driver was shaking my shoulder. I bit my lip to keep from screaming. Pressing more money into his hand than was needed, I stumbled towards the door. As I moved, I saw that my truck was parked diagonally through three spots in the lot. There was a huge crack in the windshield. He couldn’t just steal it, oh hell no. He had to smash it too. Piece of shit vampire.
When I came inside, I winced at the noise that was supposed to be singing. Angel was mangling the hell out of some song I’d never heard before. Or maybe he was making up the words as he went along. Either way, it was horrible. I didn’t see any customers at all, just a bunch of waiters that were whispering in the corner.
Lorne came over to me and blinked a few times. “You look like crap.”
“I feel like it too. Why didn’t you call his friends to deal with him?”
Angel tried to hit a high note that humans were never meant to handle and I swear a tiny part of my brain imploded. “You don’t think I tried? They said they weren’t going to deal with it.”
My eyebrows went up, making a fresh wave of pain go through my cheek. “Fine, I’ll deal with him. But you owe me.”
Before he could say anything, I was making my way towards the stage. Angel switched to another song and when I heard the music start from the karaoke machine, I moved faster. “Hey! You sing one word of that song and I’m going to stick that microphone up your ass.”
There was a tiny smile on his face before his mouth started to open. “Delia, oh Delia, Delia all my life...”
That was as much as he got out before I’d managed to pry off the brace from my arm and hit the microphone out of his hand with it. “Do you mind? I was singing!”
“That was not singing. I don’t know what the fuck you think it was, but a Greptroy demon could make better sounds and they talk through their ass.”
Angel bristled, turning in my direction and for half a second, I thought he was going to punch me in the face. Then the sanctuary spell kicked in. “Ha! Never let me catch you trying to sing a Johnny Cash song again or so help me...”
“What are you going to do pipsqueak, hit me with your little hammer again?”
We were toe to toe, our faces only a few inches from one another. I was about to say something else when Lorne’s hand gripped my shoulder tightly. He also grabbed the back of Angel’s neck. “Boys? Take this outside. I want my customers to come back and the sun’s going to be up soon. You want to tear each other to pieces? Do it out there.”
I shot Angel a look before turning on my heel. “I want my damn truck keys.” The keys hit me in the back of the head. I paused long enough to pick them up before heading out the door.
Once I reached the truck, I almost collapsed against it. My body was screaming in pain now. I closed my eyes, trying to make enough of it go away long enough so I could make the drive home. Then I remembered that I needed the fake hand to shift with. Oh this was just fucking wonderful.
The sound of shoes on the ground made me sigh. “Leave me the hell alone. Go kill something. Make yourself useful.”
“Can you even drive?”
I chewed on my bottom lip before I answered. “No, I can’t. Someone smashed my fucking hand.”
Turning to glance at him, I sagged back against the side of the truck. He was staring off in the distance with a worried look on his face. “If you think I’m going to let you drive me home, you’re out of your gel-covered mind.”
“They’re angry with me. I’m surprised none of them went at me tonight like you did.”
He wasn’t speaking to me, he was talking to himself. I rubbed my temple and hissed in pain. “You could have killed me, Lindsey. Why didn’t you?”
I thought about that for a moment. It wasn’t just because the Senior Partners would have me skinned alive, healed, and then skinned a second time. It wasn’t because I felt bad for him since he’d lost Darla too. Hell, it wasn’t even because I liked him. “Because making you hurt seemed like a better option than making you dead.”
Angel chuckled softly. “Always go for the pain, it makes everything so much more fun, right?”
A smile crossed my lips. The two of us were more alike than we ever cared to admit. “Drive the fucking truck. Try not to smash any other parts of it. You’ll never make it back to your place before the sun comes up. Don’t get any damn ideas, I still hate you.”
I threw the keys at Angel and he caught them. Coming around to the passenger side, I got in and sighed. “You owe me for the damage to my truck.”
“You hit me with it first!”
“That’s only because I needed to knock you down. I only have one hand, you expect me to be able to kick your ass without cheating?” I couldn’t keep the amusement out of my voice.
“You broke my ribs with the hammer, probably did some damage to my lungs too.” He shot me a look as he pulled out of the lot.
Smiling made my face ache, but I didn’t care. I gave him directions to my apartment and closed my eyes. He didn’t shut up though, ranting about his friends, my being a pain in his ass, and anything else he could think of. After a while, I toned him out. He’d wake me up when we arrived. If his friends could see us now, they’d probably think we’d gone insane. Maybe they were right. We had both lost a lot tonight and it would take a while to recover.