Actions

Work Header

Okay I Admit I Suck At Titles

Work Text:

...
"yes dave......i really think youre a coolkid.....a very very coolkid" terezi said. she was sitting on an ornamental bench in a beautiful park next to the human dave who was in his coolkid black glasses he liked so much because of how coolkid-like they were. "i talked to you a lot terezi and all this time i was thinking how attractive you looked and how much i like you" he said. he was quite hesitant before saying this and he stammered a lot too.
in the distance karkat and nepeta were watching them. "they are really flushed for each other" nepeta said to karkat. "i knew this would happen, i knew terezi and you wasnt really a very good idea frankly karkles." karkat said "wow nepeta youre so smart, you sure know everything about romance and relationships. thats why i like you so much." and he planted a kiss on her and then said "lets play a fun pretend game." nepeta said ok!

"What’re you typing there?" The aforementioned Karkat appeared suddenly beside her.
"Nothing!" Nepeta quickly covered up the computer screen while assuming the most innocent feline smile she had in her repertoire.
"If you’re writing your imbecilic love stories again while we’re busy coming up with important plans..." he grouched before staggering away. "...what kind of a fucking retard wastes his time choosing mating partners for other people who maybe just maybe aren’t interested in getting any pairings forced on them anyway..."

She resumed writing.

terezi smiled sw33tly and said "dave you are so handsome... let me look closely at your face" then she leaned over and suddenly licked dave in the face and then kissed him unexpectedly!! dave appeared almost paralyzed by this kiss and his face began glowing with

...Began glowing with what?

She hesitated. What blood color did the Dave human have? Red? Something like that; better to be sure though. Fantasy pairings aside, she prized verisimilitude in such details in her writing.

Ask her troll friends, perhaps? (Terezi in particular may have known.) But they were all busy right now, it seemed. And besides... they’d probably guess what she needed it for, and mock her and her fics (they were so mean to her favorite hobby sometimes!) No, another source of information seemed the right choice.

And she needed to get a feeling for Dave's dialogue anyway.

***

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
AC: :33 < *a cute kitty comes from behind a corner and rubs against daves leg!*
AC: :33 < *its ac! who delivers a sw33t gr33ting meow*
AC: :33 < *ac displays her most endearing pair of smiles*
TG: *tg clandestinely steals a handy duo of asterisks from a passing asterisk truck*
TG: *ladies all around behold the power of shift+8s*
TG: *the rapping rp reaper is here*
AC: :33 < *ac props herself up against dave on her hind legs and whispurrs into his ear*
AC: :33 < hi dave!
TG: ah and another one of you speaks up
TG: this time its a furry
TG: not doing new commissions of sbahj fursona portraits right now sorry gal
TG: anyway how many of you are yet to talk to me
TG: gotta catch em all
AC: :33 < nice to m33t you!
AC: :33 < im nepeta
AC: :33 < hope youre not too busy at the moment
AC: :33 < im curious about so many things about you and your friends!
TG: yep thats very much what i want to do right now
TG: to act as encyclopedia humannica for you creeps
TG: not that i have anything important to do or whatever
AC: :33 < oh dont be so mean!
AC: :33 < i only have one question! for now
AC: :33 < can you tell me what color is your blood?
AC: :33 < i think its red but im not one hundred purrcent sure!
TG: whoa steady there girl
TG: ladies and gentlemen
TG: lets all stand up and deliver an ovation to miss colon thirty three
TG: the new member of the daveblood fan club
TG: which has now passed the elite threshold of two members
TG: whats with fate handing out extraterrestrial hos like cheap cigars today
TG: why do you even care about that
AC: :33 < its
AC: :33 < a secret!
AC: :33 < i think youd just laugh at me anyway
TG: i know you have our human internet in there
TG: couldnt you just google it
AC: :33 < i dont know much about this human internet
AC: :33 < maybe its in there i dont know!
AC: :33 < im not a computer purrofessional
TG: its okay
TG: actually if you tried searching it youd sooner or later end up with pages upon pages of weird blood fetish porn
TG: true real life fact
TG: im saving your impressionable young furry mind from corruption by our human filth
TG: also btw its red
AC: :33 < oh thank you so much!!! :))
AC: :33 < *ac deploys a cute twofold lick on daves ch33k*
AC: :33 < bye now I must do something!
TG: no purroblem
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] --
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
AC: red. "im sooo flushed for you too my love" dave said and he awkwardly began to prepare for a kiss..........
TG: uh
TG: what the hell
AC: 8OO < oops!!!
AC: :33 < oops sorry i was so excited that i furgot to change the window
TG: what
TG: youve got to be fucking shipping me
AC: :33 < mmmmaybe?
TG: so whos the guy youre pairing me with
AC: :33 < why do you assume its a boy??
TG: you mean you come from a planet where shipper girls arent automatically yaoi fangirls
TG: i knew you were aliens but never realized how alien you are
TG: too alien
TG: no way we can ever meaningfully communicate
TG: so much for the pioneer plaques
AC: :33 < okay if i tell you will you stop saying these weird things??
AC: :33 < its terezi
TG: oh ahahaha
TG: cant wait to tell her next time
AC: :33 < no dont!!
AC: :33 < shed mock me like crazy!!
AC: :33 < oh youre just a big jerk!!
AC: :33 < ummm...
AC: :33 < *ac is obviously quite hesitant to continue and her face blushes a healthy gr33n*
AC: :33 < what if i show you what i have written of this story so far
AC: :33 < then you promise you wont tell??
TG: sure
TG: bring on the mind scarring prose
TG: cant wait to read things about myself that will remain burned into my retinas for the foreseeable future
AC: :33 < plz dont laugh ;((
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] sent turntechGodhead [TG] the file loversinshades.txt --
TG: oh jegus
TG: oh ahahahaha
TG: ok i wont tell her but i will totally keep this on my hard drive ironically
AC: :33 < oh thanks
AC: :33 < umm can you maybe give some critique on this?? i want to impurrove my writing
TG: well
TG: believe it or not creepy shipping of real life world persons is not something i obsessively do every day
TG: so im not really an expert on this
TG: but i can still see that your fic is kinda bland
TG: maybe you should get some writing tips
AC: :33 < from who?
TG: prose
TG: i mean rose
TG: i know at least she likes to write weird wizard slash
TG: she knows a lot about this kind of thing
AC: :33 < oh thx so much!!
AC: :33 < i think ill contact her a sw33p or so ago when shes not very occupied with anything and ask for help
AC: :33 < *whats this?? ac dashes away unexpectedly! could it be that the silly and clumsy dave has startled her??*
AC: :33 < *but then look! the cute kitty comes back with a big multicolored bunch of flowers!*
AC: :33 < *dave takes the flowers gratefully and sniffs them sw33tly*
TG: hey no godmodding
AC: :33 < sorry *so dave doesnt sniff them he just does whatever he wants with them*
AC: :33 < *and whatever he does with them is sw33t!*
AC: :33 < ...
AC: :33 < *even though frankly hes a bit of a jerk sometimes*
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TG: heh
TG: me x terezi
TG: ...

***

on that day, a day characterized by fatefulness and an extreme sort of it to boot, john and jade were inside jade’s hive hiding from the sun which was incandescing especially luminously on that day which i have already mentioned. jade vocalized "john come up to my respiteblock i wanna show you my toys" and john ind33d has followed.
jade’s respiteblock was nice and pleasing to the bespectacled eye and also looked nice. there was a multifarious olio of playthings and miscellanea which indicated jade’s numerous interests that were voluminous, multitudinous and plentiful.
and it was then that the radiance intruding through the window danced an enrapturing trollantella in jade’s spectacles, and underlined by this light-show her eye-orbs became like paragons of enthrallment. it has not escaped john’s attention and his heart organ felt ticklish all of a sudden. "oooooh jade" john spoke "i always wanted to say but never quite had the courage.......you’re sooo beautiful. i think i........."
"yes john???" jade inquired.
"will you be my matesprit?" john uttered timorously.
"oh john................" jade was now like a small human-shaped volcano erupting with blush (rather than lava). "ooh i must admit this is something i wanted to tell you for a long time too. let’s make out!!!!!" and then they made out in a manner most sloppy.
((too abrupt?? maybe lets think of some more talking befur the ending.

thank gog for online thesaurus! :)) ))