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Unsteady

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Shiro frowns, picking mindlessly at a string on his sweatpants. Lance was supposed to be home an hour ago so they could have dinner. Shiro tried to call him, but the calls were ignored then sent straight to voicemail shortly after. It worried Shiro, but he knew Lance didn’t necessarily want their relationship to be out in the open. As much as it hurts him, he can understand why Lance may have turned his phone off.

Part of Shiro can’t help but let his mind wander to what Lance might be doing with Hunk. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Lance, it’s just hard for him to see the good in people after everything he’s been through. After numerous heartbreaks, he thought he finally found the one… but when Lance said he didn’t want to tell everyone it just, well, it hurt. Now it seems like Lance doesn’t even care. He’s off somewhere with Hunk doing whatever it is they do when they’re alone. Shiro wants to believe that it’s nothing, he really does, but sometimes the insecurities just get the best of him.

It doesn’t take long for the negative thoughts to consume Shiro. He tried so hard to ignore them at first, but they just keep coming… thoughts of Lance being unfaithful, not loving him, using him, hurting him. They’re all too much and Shiro does nothing to stop the tears from openly falling. He rests his head on the arm of the couch, covering himself with the small throw as he stares blankly at the television screen in front of him. This isn’t at all what he thought dating Lance would be like. He thought it’d be different. He thought he’d actually be able to tell people. He thought Lance would be excited to tell people, but he was wrong. So, so wrong.

What really seems to hurt Shiro the most is the fact that their one year anniversary is coming up in just a few days. A year of feeling like he isn’t good enough is really starting to get to Shiro. He’s beginning to think that maybe he’s just a side piece; maybe Hunk is the real deal. Maybe he goes out on dates with Hunk and holds his hand and gives him all the things Shiro wants so badly. Maybe he completely misjudged their relationship from the beginning.

Shiro wipes the tears from his face as soon as the door to their apartment swings open. He sits up, trying to pretend he wasn’t just crying because his boyfriend is nearly two hours late. Lance walks over to him, looking happy and excited as usual.

“Hey, babe, rough day?” he asks, placing his hand on Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro tries his best to not flinch at the contact, opting for a deep sigh instead.

“I guess you could say that— what took you so long? We were supposed to have dinner nearly two hours ago.” Shiro refuses to look at Lance still staring at the blank television in front of them.

“Oh, Shiro, I’m so sorry it slipped my mind,” Lance says while reaching up to pet Shiro’s hair. Shiro swats his hand away, putting some distance between the two. “Okay, clearly you’re in a mood, bu—”

“In a mood? Of course I’m ‘in a mood’, Lance! This is the fourth time you’ve been late in just two weeks! It makes me feel like I learned to cook for no reason at all, it just gets cold and you stride in hours later trying to act as if nothing happened at all!” Shiro yells, getting upset all over again.

“Okay, I see why you’re upset, but please let me show you what I have?” Lance looks at Shiro with pleading eyes. He sinks down into the couch, nodding slowly, which only causes the other man to scoot closer. Lance pulls out a plane ticket, handing it over to Shiro.

“What’s this?” Shiro asks, not really bothering to even look at the ticket. He really doesn't want anything to do with it. He feels like Lance is just trying to pay him off to keep him quiet. Keep the side piece happy and he can continue on with whatever he's doing with Hunk and not have any fuss from Shiro.

“A trip to Hawaii! So we can be all alone for two whole weeks!” Lance exclaims, his excitement from earlier starting to bubble over once again.

 “Why don’t you just take Hunk?” Shiro mumbles, looking away from Lance.

“Excuse me?”


Shiro snaps, standing up to get away from Lance. "Why don't you just give the ticket to Hunk, Lance! While you're at it give him my side of our bed! Fuck, Lance, why don't you just move him in while you're at it! He’ll really have you all to himself then!" Shiro is livid , staring at Lance as hot tears stream down his face. Lance is completely taken aback by what he just said; the silence is getting to be overbearing.

Lance takes a deep breath and looks at Shiro, motioning for him to sit back down on the couch. He's reluctant, but he does it anyway, wanting to at the very least give Lance a chance to explain himself. Holding onto the little bit of hope that it really is just his insecurities getting to him.

"Listen, Shiro, you aren't the side piece. You were never the side piece and you will never be the side piece. You are the real deal, babe, the only person I'm seeing. The reason... the reason why I've been missing dinner lately is because I've been working my ass off to be able to afford this trip for us... and..."

"And?" Shiro presses, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyes Lance for more.

"I was going to save it for our anniversary and show you then, show you all the hard work I've put into it… but you know that apartment you were looking at? The really nice one with the little balcony we can put flowers on? I've been working so we could move in by the end of the year. You deserve to live somewhere nicer than this dump, it’s so tiny and I know you hate it. So, I got a second job, started working harder, and I eventually worked my way up to a promotion and a really sick bonus so I could afford both. For you. Not for anyone else."

Shiro falls silent, looking down at his hands as he tries to think of ways to fix everything he just fucked up. "Lance, I'm—"

"You don't need to say anything, Shiro, you had every right to worry. I knew beforehand that you get insecure and it's my fault for not being honest with you,” Lance says, finally reaching up to run his fingers through Shiro’s hair. Shiro leans into the contact, missing Lance’s soft touches.

“I’m sorry… for letting it get to me this much. I should have gone to you when I started having problems in the first place,” Shiro sighs, wiping the stray tears from his face.

“This isn't just your fault, Shiro. We could have handled this so much better than we did,” Lance chuckles softly while wrapping his arms around Shiro. “How about when we come back from our little vacation we can tell everyone we’re together? Although, I’m sure most people have already figured it out by now.”

“That sounds really nice. Thank you, Lance, for putting up with me and doing all of this for me.”

“You deserve it.”

Shiro smiles softly, pulling Lance in for a gentle kiss.

“Can we just cuddle the night away?”

“Sounds perfect.” Lance smiles, leaning into for another kiss.