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An Unexpected Horse

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"Emma, watc-"

With a pop, she disappears. Regina sighs. Three years they've been married and at least once every four months or so Emma manages to fall through a portal. If it were anyone else, she'd think them cursed but no, the only thing Emma Swan is cursed with is clumsiness and an extremely poor attention span.

It was funny at first, she will admit. Considering how often she takes advantage of how easy it is to distract Emma, she has even been the reason for an embarrassing number of spontaneous trips to other worlds and timelines. When she isn't the one causing her wife's disappearances through seemingly random tears in time and space, however, it is more than irritating to have to drop everything to go and fi- search for her.

Folding her arms, Regina glares across the road to where her mother-in-law stands gaping at the space in which the portal had swallowed her eldest daughter. Sheepishly, Snow meets her stare after a minute or two and slowly crosses to her side of the street.

When she opens her mouth, Regina glares at her even harder and warns, "Do not." An apology isn't going to bring her wife back, no matter how hard Snow might wish it were that easy. When Snow takes heed and purses her lips, Regina grumbles, "I should force you to go after her."

She won't, and with the look Snow then gives her, she knows Snow knows; this is what she gets for not trusting anyone beyond her son and his idiot mother.

"I hate you."

Wisely keeping her mouth shut, Snow watches as Regina walks over to where the portal had opened. Thankfully because of how often Emma has done this, she's become somewhat of an expert at making the portals reappear. She does so this time with little more than a thought and an impatient huff, but when she attempts to walk through, something pushes against her and she stumbles back.

Her hand ignites all on its own and her upper lip curls in a sneer before a comforting wave of something familiar washes over her, stunning her and encouraging the flame to dissipate in her palm.

Emma materializes a moment later, looking flustered but with a grin too wide to be anything other than secretive. "Sorry- you do not want to see any of that."

Regina narrows her eyes. The bright pink cheeks alone were enough to pique her curiosity. Paired with that grin, she has a sneaking suspicion her wife is nothing short of a big, fat liar. "You obviously didn't rehearse that line long enough," she deadpans.

The flush deepens as Emma bites her lip, clearly wanting to lie some more but knowing better than to try. Regina side-glances Snow. "You may go." Seeing the protest clearly written across her face, she quickly adds, "I could not forgive you, if you'd prefer."

Even more quickly, Snow kisses her on the cheek and ignores the flare of her nostrils as she darts over to Emma with the same, then hurries off down the street. Mild disgust fading with the distance increasing between them, Regina turns her attention back on Emma as her amusement blossoms. "If only I'd known how easy it was to get rid of her sooner."

Emma shares her amusement. "Four decades is a long time," she teases playfully. "And you accuse me of being slow."

"You are," Regina retorts before she raises a hand and beckons her forward. Emma inches closer, close enough for Regina to reach out, slip the hand into the waistband of her jeans, and tug her the rest of the way. "Now," she drawls, "to whom do I owe my gratitude for that look in your eyes, hmm?"

"Us," Emma answers immediately, far more open and confident without her mother around.

Regina smirks. "Naturally."

"We were having sex." She frowns. They have sex all of the time, why would-- "All six of us."

Her eyes widen. Voice an octave or two higher than usual, she barely refrains from choking when she repeats, "Six?"

Emma wraps arms around her waist. "Mhmm. Two of me, four of you." Nodding in agreement with her gaping mouth, she confesses, "I was worried you might get ideas."

Incredulous, Regina stares, speechless. Emma doesn't want four of her?

"Don't get me wrong," Emma continues before she can ask. "Four of you would be a dream- preferably without the second me- but my head is so not big enough for me to think I could keep up."

And, well, the reason is believable at least; Emma has a hard enough time not passing out when it's just the two of them.

Humming, Regina returns the embrace, draping her own arms over Emma's shoulders. "Perhaps that's why there were two of you," she replies, grinning.

Despite keeping her from witnessing the event, it does give her some ideas. They don't get anywhere near as many alternate versions of themselves as all the others seem to get, but there was more than one way to replicate themselves without ripping a tear in the fabric of the universe.

The fact that there is a tear already, however...

It would be rude to look a gift horse in the mouth, wouldn't it?

Emma whimpers. "I know that look."

Pecking her on the mouth, Regina moves out of the embrace with a sniff. "After three years of marriage, I should hope so," she says before walking around her and back to the portal.

Emma's tortured but ultimately resigned groan follows her through to the other side and she smirks, eyes falling on the tangle of the many naked limbs before her. "Hello ladies," she purrs, "room for two more?"