“do you need help reaching that?”
jimin’s head snaps around at the remark and he’s ready to hiss out something mean, but he’s met with such a handsome face his mind blanks for a moment. a head taller than jimin and with a trinket dangling from the right ear, bright boxy smile in place and eyes looking kind. jimin’s not swayed, though, huffs out, “no, thank you.”
“don’t feel bad, bro,” the stranger grins, and proceeds to lean in and pick up two of the lasagna sheets packets jimin’s been trying to reach. he’s not so short his height usually causes any problems when grocery shopping, it’s just that there are only three packets left and they’re at the furthest back of the highest shelf, so now he’s been standing on tip-toe for half a minute trying to grow an inch. and here comes some tall fucker looking like the poster kid mix between a 70s art student and vogue cover model swaggering in and picking it up like it’s nothing, rubbing it in.
jimin simmers quietly, accepting the held-out package with a nod. curtly, he says, “thank you.”
“you’re welcome.” another smile, then hand coming up to shyly scratch at the back of their neck. “i’m taehyung.”
“uh,” jimin hesitates, definitely not having planned to stick around or introduce himself. he’s got a lasagna to make and also about six hours worth of homework. plus a dance rehearsal he’s trying to somehow squeeze in before sleep. “okay?”
taehyung laughs, looks down at his feet and shakes his head a little. “usually people would say their name back.”
jimin cocks his head and keeps his gaze neutral. “cool.”
“well,” taehyung goes on, raising his hands in front of him and taking slow steps backwards. he shrugs. “enjoy your lasagna, Hot Short Nameless Guy.”
jimin narrows his eyes, then nods shortly. he turns around and heads towards the self-checkouts.
given his general luck in life, he really should’ve figured that wasn’t to be the end of it.
one week later, almost exactly down to the hour, jimin stumbles into taehyung during yet another late-night emergency run for vegan ice cream. he’s got his earphones plugged in and music turned up just loud enough to drown everything but his own thoughts out, and on top of that he’s a little lost in a world of his own—thinking of the weekend coming up soon, and the essay deadline he’s got to meet before getting to enjoy that sweet saturday bliss—so he can’t be blamed, wholly, for the way he just barely avoids slamming chest-to-chest into taehyung.
it’s probably taehyung’s fault anyway, somehow. as he already made clear, he’s inches taller and so should be able to watch where he’s going.
“hey there,” his deep voice comes as his hands instinctively reach up to balance jimin by the shoulders. “sorry, sorry. wasn’t looking where i was going.”
jimin decides he can vibe with this. he’d been annoyed (maybe unfairly so) last week because of the lasagna incident, but at least now taehyung’s taking responsibility. apologising.
jimin lets his eyes quickly scan down his body and sees tonight he’s wearing pin-striped loose pants and an oversized black tee, tucked in at the front and thin waistline highlighted gorgeously by a thick, red belt. small heart studs stuck in both earlobes match the red well, as does a small pendant hanging around his neck.
he’s hot, all right. jimin takes a tiny step back and gives a smile, “taehyung, was it?”
he’s greeted by a boxy one in return, so blinding and all teeth. “yeah,” he tells him, “you remembered!”
jimin grins back, brings his hand up to push it through his hair. “i’m jimin.”
“jimin,” taehyung tries out, nodding slightly to himself. “jimin, jimin. nice to officially meet you, jimin.”
it takes a second to register the held-out hand, but then jimin takes it and shakes it just once.
“how was your lasagna?” he leans back on his feet, posture relaxed as if striking up conversation with a stranger in the middle of a grocery store is something he does often.
“fine,” jimin says, shrugging lightly. “actually, it was heavenly, but i’d been surviving on ramen and oatmeal only for ten days, so i think i was biased.”
taehyung laughs and it’s a nice sound, deep and vibrant and loud, clearly not caring about attracting attention. jimin doesn’t know the guy but he’s definitely already sure he’s more extroverted than himself.
“know the struggle,” taehyung nods sagely. “‘cept i can’t cook for shit so when i want something real, i’ve gotta splurge on takeout or something. i miss my mom’s cooking so bad.”
for some reason, it doesn’t feel as weird as jimin figures it ought to. “tell me about it,” he says. “i can cook fairly okay, just basic stuff, but microwaveable stuff is just easier and faster.”
“definitely.” he gives another smile. “what’re you majoring in? going out on a limb and assuming you’re a college student like my handsome self.”
jimin grins at him. “dance and chem,” he shares. “fun in theory, more work than 16-year-old me imagined. not to complain, though. it’s nice.”
“damn.” taehyung lets out a quiet whistle and widens his eyes appreciatively. “stem student plus hot body? win-win.”
jimin laughs a little and looks down at his feet. “how about you?”
“art history represent!” he holds up his right hand and jimin indulges with a high-five. “which there’s no future in, trust me, i’ve heard it before.”
jimin grins, bites down on his bottom lip. “wasn’t gonna say that.”
“nice,” taehyung says, then suddenly his eyes widen when he casts them down at jimin’s hands. “fuck, your ice cream.”
“fuck,” jimin mumbles, looking down at his own hands, “my ice cream.”
taehyung snorts and reaches out to shove jimin’s shoulder. “put it back in the freezer and grab another. the fudge brownie’s really good,” he tacks on, flashing another wide smile and bringing his hand up in a thumbs-up.
“might try it,” jimin gives in return. he hovers awkwardly for a second, unsure how to proceed, then figures his melting ice cream must be a fine enough explanation (excuse) and takes a step back.
“same time next week?” taehyung asks, smile clear in his voice. jimin doesn’t respond verbally, just smiles at him and shakes his head before turning around and heading back to the freezers.
it’s ridiculous, and he’s well aware of that fact, but a week later jimin pulls on a hoodie and a pair of boots, checks he’s got his wallet and heads to the grocery store.
“oh, we really can’t keep meeting like this.”
jimin’s already grown to recognise his voice, the lilt of it so deep and unlike his own. he turns around and grins at taehyung, allowing a second to take in his appearance because once again he looks like someone straight from the catwalk. he grins, and says something either brave or senselessly stupid, “then let’s not.”
taehyung cocks his head to the side.
“if you wanna exchange numbers?” jimin goes on with a shrug. “the grocery store’s not my usual go-to for hangout places.”
taehyung’s smile grows slowly, but soon his mouth’s curved in a lopsided grin. “damn,” he murmurs, jimin sure his voice sounds appreciative, “look at this development. two weeks ago you wouldn’t even give me your name.”
“what can i say,” jimin says, keeping his calm and offering another shrug. “i’m new here and you have nice taste in ice cream. maybe i’m desperate.”
taehyung laughs then, pulling his phone out of the pocket in the champagne velvet dungarees he’s somehow pulling off. he unlocks it and cocks his head to the side, and jimin takes it as signal to rattle off his number. taehyung smiles when he’s got it coded in, and a second later jimin’s phone beeps quietly. he pulls it out and opens up the unread message,
“by the way,” taehyung goes on, “i take offence to your previous statement. going grocery shopping with someone is prime bonding time. it’s lotsa fun. you hang with the wrong people, jimin.”
“i dunno,” he shrugs.
“so,” taehyung changes the subject, starting to walk further into the store with jimin trailing beside. “what’re you here for on this glorious evening?”
“you, mostly.” he barely hesitates, and doesn’t manage to feel very shameful about it either, though he shoots his eyes to the floor for a moment. “oh, and orange juice. i’m running low.”
taehyung clasps his hand to his chest dramatically and wipes mock tears away. “oh, me?” he enquires like he’s on the stage. “i’m honoured, jimn. real honoured.”
“and orange juice,” jimin repeats, rolling his eyes. “i’m also here for orange juice. what’re you here for, though?”
“why, you, obviously.” he turns his head and flashes a big grin before biting his teeth into his bottom lip for a moment. “and whatever other fun stuff i find i can’t live without.”
“how d’you live like that?”
“huh?” taehyung tilts his head at jimin for a moment before turning back around and picking up a saucepan from the nearest shelf. he turns it around in his hands and inspects it from every angle, then puts it back on the shelf and walks further.
“see something fun and buy it,” jimin elaborates. “how do you afford that?”
“oh.” taehyung turns back around and offers a lazy smile. “i work part time as a high school tutor, but usually i also try to, like, check the price tag first, y’know.”
“right.” it’s jimin’s turn to pick up the first and best thing, which turns out to be a pink dog leash. he’d thought it was a necklace when reaching for it, but when he properly takes it in, he must recognise that it’s not.
“you’ve got a dog?” taehyung presses, smiling again.
“no,” jimin says, putting it back down where he’d picked it up. “sorry to disappoint.”
“that’s too bad,” taehyung agrees. “i love dogs loads. not allowed to have one on campus, so every day i suffer. but also, that pink colour was pretty cute.”
he’s talking so much, and so effortlessly at that, words and topics just seeming to roll off his tongue like he doesn’t even have to stop and think. jimin realises he probably doesn’t—it seems so natural and easy the words must just come on their own without needing to think much about them first. it’s nice, very much so, jimin being much more of an ambivert himself, and sometimes awfully self-conscious about what’s weird to say, or what people will think, or whether they’ll laugh at him, so it’s nice just strolling through the store and having taehyung taking care the conversation flows nicely without any awkward silences.
“yeah,” jimin agrees, though he doesn’t truly have an opinion either way. “suppose so.”
“you like pink?”
jimin shrugs again. “mm,” he decides, “it’s cute, i do. do you?”
“definitely,” taehyung hums, “especially, like, soft shades. pastel ones, they’re nice. i’ve got this really cute shirt, it’s these slim stripes of white and pink and then this heart-shaped hole on the chest. it’s really pretty.”
jimin visualises it from taehyung’s description, easily imagining it on taehyung’s body, maybe paired with the wide-legged pants he’d worn last week. he agrees, “sounds cute.”
they’re finally in the juice aisle and jimin takes time to inspect the various options in front of him. he works by a carefully calculated principle operating on the axes of price and quality and he’s got it down to a fine art: first of all, completely ignore packaging and design, and then the trick is to check production places, because often it’s found that the 3rd and 4th cheapest ones are produced the exact same place and time as the most expensive one. the cheapest of all is obviously trash, but there’s rarely reason to splurge on the more pricey ones either, except when actively deciding to treat yourself. he picks up his choice and weighs it in his hand. “well,” he says, pushing back up from his squat position and playing his free hand through his hair. “i’ve got what i came for.”
“yeah,” taehyung nods slowly. “so have i, i think.”
they head back to the checkouts and jimin pays for his juice.
“text me,” jimin says and taehyung nods at him, wearing a bright smile. “i will,” he promises.
u busy this week?
it’s the first text from taehyung besides the emojis he’d sent in the grocery store for jimin to get his number. jimin leans back in his chair and taps out a reply,
aren’t i always
but yeah not more than usual
it doesn’t take long till taehyung texts back.
wanna hang out with meeee??
sure why not
whatre u thinking?
i mean we can go grocery shopping again if u wanna but u seemed against that
we can just hang out yk?? get to know each other!!
jimin’s fingers hover over the keyboard. taehyung seems nice and he does want to be his friend; yet, or maybe therefore, he’s a little unsure exactly what to say in response.
they decide on saturday afternoon, and taehyung sends him his room number with some incredibly specific instructions on how to get there, as well as countless emojis, some making sense and some not so much. jimin doesn’t bother trying to crack the code, figuring he’s probably just chosen some that seemed cute or fun.
saturday arrives quickly enough, jimin as busy with schoolwork and procrastination as ever. double majoring basically just means being so constantly busy you never have time to sit down and think over whether you’re actually enjoying what you’re doing, which has both its pros and cons. he thinks he’s enjoying it, though, at least most of the time. at least he decides he must be.
he showers before heading to taehyung’s room, even throws on a clean t-shirt and tucks it into his jeans at the front, then grabs just phone and money and goes to knock on taehyung’s door.
he answers it with a yelled door’s open, so jimin pushes down the handle and lets the door swing open slowly. “uh, hey?” he says.
“jimin!” taehyung’s sitting cross-legged on his bed with a nintendo ds in his hands, attention focused on it. “gimme a mo, just beating this boss!”
jimin smiles to himself and steps further in, stands awkwardly in the middle of the room and takes in the look of it. it’s not too messy, the desk a little scattered with papers and books and empty starbucks cups, but no clothes or other things on the floor. there’s the bed taehyung’s on, which has light green sheets, and at the other side of the room’s another bed, that one with white covers and a crochet plaid and a couple pillows. jimin figures it’s taehyung’s roommate’s. there’s flowers in the windowsill, but they look more dead than alive, and the walls are covered in art prints and video game posters. it’s different from jimin’s own place, but overall it gives a very homey feeling. like it’s lived-in, and it’s fine with being that.
“hell yeah!” taehyung grins and puts the console down. he claps his own hands together and finally looks up at jimin, offers a wave and a bright smile. “hey, jimin. sit down, sit down.”
jimin does as he’s told, plopping down next to taehyung on the bed. “hi.”
“how’re you doing?” he’s still smiling brightly, leans back against the wall and keeps his eyes focused on jimin.
he shrugs lightly. “fine,” he decides. looks around again, “nice place.”
“thank you, thank you,” taehyung says, nodding his head and reaching his arms out gesturing. “some of the stuff’s obviously my roomie’s. he’s not here right now, though.”
jimin quirks his eyebrow. “i noticed.”
taehyung snorts. “hey, he could’ve been hiding in the closet or something. maybe he’s just a tiny fairy, you wouldn’t know.”
jimin grins at him and leans back against the wall.
“d’you live with anyone?”
“no,” jimin says, shaking his head just slightly. “i live alone.”
“oh, that’s so cool!” taehyung fidgets with one of the leather strings tied around his wrist, flicking one of the charms pulled onto it. “i don’t think i could do that. i need people around me, constant stimulation y’know?”
jimin shrugs. “it’s okay.”
“wait.” taehyung stops dead in his tracks, face frozen up in something akin to horror. “i’m the worst host ever. do you want a drink or something? pocky sticks? m&m’s? i’ve got lots ‘cause jeongguk and i were gonna marathon fullmetal alchemist last night, but then he fell asleep on me by, like, nine.”
jimin smiles at that, figuring he’s talking about his roommate. “water’s fine.”
taehyung cocks his head to the other side. “don’t you want soda or something?” he asks. “i mean, i think i have some vodka somewhere as well, but you can definitely wild out with something spicier than straight h2o.”
jimin laughs properly then, soft sound and hand coming up to awkwardly scratch his neck. “okay then. gimme what you’ve got.”
taehyung jumps up from the bed and tells jimin to just stay put, then skips out of the room and returns quickly with pepsi cans in his hands. he flashes a grin as he puts them down on the desk, looking casually great in his loose jeans and dark blue jumper. spins around and rummages through some things to pull up a bag of standard m&m’s.
jimin accepts the soda taehyung holds out for him, takes a small sip and smiles up at him. “thank you.”
“no problem.” taehyung gulps down from his own and puts it down, then grabs a handful of chocolates and starts sorting out the reds to eat first.
jiimin grabbles for a subject, “what were you playing when i came in?”
“oh.” taehyung looks up from the m&m’s in his palm, pops a couple in his mouth and chews open-mouthedly. he grins, “new super mario bros. wanna see me play?”
“sure,” jimin agrees, and taehyung picks his nintendo ds back up easily. they settle in side by side, backs against the wall so jimin can watch as taehyung turns it on and starts up a level.
“i’m awesome at it,” taehyung brags, twisting his neck to shoot jimin a wide smile, then focusing back on the small screen.
he actually is. easily presses the right buttons at the right times, jumps head-first into a brick and gets the flower power-up so the digital mario can start throwing fireballs at the goombas. comments flow steadily from him throughout, praising himself and yo, fuck you, fucker when he’s almost run down or killed. he yells out that he’s a legend when he grabs the star and turns rainbow-coloured, speeding through the level unable to be harmed.
“wanna try?” he asks, holding the console out for jimin when he’s through with the level.
“okay.” jimin knows he’s a disaster at games, but at least he’s mastered the art of not revealing how much it hurts his competitive nature, instead playing it fairly cool because ‘it’s just a game and isn’t that important.’ he accepts the nintendo ds and hits the bottom touchscreen to get to the first world, and then the A button to start up the level he wants to try. “here we go,” he mumbles under his breath, biting down on his lip in concentration as he makes mario start running.
he forgets jumping when a goomba gets close, the mario on-screen immediately shrinking in size.
“you gotta jump,” taehyung supplies helpfully, the fucking bastard. jimin plasters on a smile and mutters, “yeah, i know. trying.”
he keeps trying, and keeps failing. the problem is that super mario is so fucking easy—in theory, there’s really absolutely nothing tricky or difficult about it, just run, jump, and get to the black flag at the end of level, and yet jimin manages to be shit at it. when he loses his third life and the ‘game over’ flashes on screen, he hands the nintendo ds back to taehyung with a shrug and forced smile. “oh, guess i’m not too good at that.”
taehyung grins at him. “dude, you were fucking disastrous,” he laughs, hand coming out to pet his shoulder comfortingly. “no offence.”
jimin forces out a laugh, and it doesn’t even sound that fake. as said, he’s got it all down to a t—though he’s pissed off and annoyed inside, too competitive and perfectionistic for his own good, he knows how to play it cool. “none taken.”
taehyung plays another level, perfectly so with highest possible score, then puts it back down and takes another handful of m&m’s. “let’s play twenty questions,” he suggests, legs bouncing lightly where they’re crossed in front of him. jimin almost chokes, but taehyung goes on, seemingly unbeknownst, “to get to know each other better!”
“all right.” he figures to hell with it, he’s probably done weirder before. he can always just leave. “you start?”
“what was your dream job when you were six?” the question, which is decidedly more innocent than jimin had envisioned, comes so quickly jimin thinks he almost must’ve been wondering about it for some time.
“uh,” he stalls, thinking back and trying to remember. “i’m not sure exactly, i definitely wanted to be a firefighter for a long time. but then i discovered dance, sort of stuck with me.”
“i see.” taehyung nods slowly, expression focused but without feelings. “that’s cool.” smiling wider, he pops another m&m in his mouth and says, “okay, your turn.”
jimin considers for a while, taps his fingers to his knee. “what’s your… favourite colour?”
“dude, i’m an art student.” he follows with a groan but is smiling. “new question.”
jimin huffs. “what’s your favourite movie then?”
“that’s more like it.” grins, winks at jimin and laces his fingers together to stretch his arms out above his head. “it’s a toss-up between eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and moonrise kingdom. how about you?”
“is that your second question?”
“that’s my second question,” taehyung laughs at him, “what’s your favourite movie, jiminie?”
“mm, it’s fargo.”
“classic kinda guy, huh?”
jimin laughs, reaches out and grabs a handful in the bag of m&m’s. “i like wes anderson, too.”
“he’s amazing!” taehyung’s beaming, smile in place and eyes alight. “we should have a marathon one day. we can even dress up, suzy and sam or something. wouldn’t that be cool?”
“mm,” jimin nods slowly. he’s never been that big on costumes, definitely not acting in them. “yeah.”
“okay, but it’s your turn. whatcha wanna know about me, hot guy?”
jimin rolls his eyes. “what kind of music do you listen to?”
“oh, classic question. i’m really boring,” he goes on, chuckling a little to himself, “and listen to most stuff, actually. i like a lot of classical, but a good pop song never hurt anyone, y’know what i mean? r&b’s good too, sexy.”
jimin laughs at the last part and nods in agreement. “definitely,” he muses.
“my turn! what three things do you bring to a deserted island?”
jimin groans. “i hate that question.”
“want a new, or?” taehyung offers, quirking his eyebrow. “but then you gotta tell why you hate it.”
“nah, it’s fine. i just think it’s boring.” he shrugs. “like everyone else, i’d bring a helicopter to bring me home again. then a knife and a lighter.”
taehyung nods at him, then offers a crooked smile. “fair enough.”
“dogs or cats?”
“definitely a dog person. corner, side, or middle piece of brownie?”
“corner, always. favourite fruit?”
taehyung pushes off the bed and lands himself on the floor, rolling onto his back and sticking his legs up to rest on the bed. he flexes his feet, shows off his mismatched floral-patterned socks. “strawberries. you?”
“i’m bi,” taehyung says, eyes focused on jimin.
jimin’s unsure how he’s expected to proceed. he’s straight himself, so he can’t offer any comments of relating, but he definitely doesn’t want taehyung to think he’s not in full support of him. “that’s cool?”
taehyung chuckles and clasps his hands together, resting them on his stomach. “i think it’s your turn.”
“do you…like christmas?”
taehyung’s whole face lights up. “yes,” he says excitedly, pushing up and sitting cross-legged and bouncing his knees. “i love christmas. you really gotta stick around ‘cause i give awesome presents. put a lot of thought into them.”
jimin smiles indulgently. “that’s so nice. i try to, too. i like making people happy.”
taehyung stands back up and grabs his pepsi, putting it to his lips and swallowing down a big gulp. “you’re cute.”
jimin flushes slightly, pushes his hand through his hair. “i dunno what else to ask, to be honest.”
taehyung laughs at him, falling forward towards jimin. before touching him proper, though, he asks for permission, “can i lie on you?”
taehyung hums in content and lets his head find rest on jimin’s lap. his eyes close for a moment as he sighs quietly, then blinks open again and continues, “me neither. is it moving too fast if i ask you to play with my hair?”
“uh,” jimin repeats again, like he only knows the one sound and can’t hold a conversation even if his life depended on it. gingerly, he brings his hand to taehyung’s scalp and massages gently, softly starting to card his fingers through the locks of hair. “you’re very—physically affectionate?”
taehyung giggles, shoulders shaking from it, but his eyes are closed in content as jimin plays with his hair. “mmm,” he agrees in a murmur, “very much so, yes. you okay with that?”
jimin nods, then realises taehyung can’t see him with his eyes closed. “yeah. it’s fine.”
“good,” he hums. “i’m real big on hugs. but you can always just ask me to stop, obviously. just tell me to get off my bullshit and i will.”
jimin grins quietly. taehyung talking in when’s instead of if’s is a little dizzying, the way he seems to already consider jimin a friend, talks as if it’s only obvious—it’s strange. nicely so, but still a little strange. “good to know.”
a couple of minutes pass in content silence, jimin continuing to play with his hair and sometimes picking his soda up with his free hand to take another sip.
the door flies open and in steps a guy in sweatpants with a sports bag slung over his shoulder, hair looking damp and face a little red. “oh,” he says, stopping in his tracks when his eyes fall on taehyung and jimin. “cosy. want me to leave?”
jimin flushes and withdraws his hand. taehyung seemingly notices his discomfort and sits back up beside him, mindful no longer to touch him. “hey, jeongguk,” he smiles, waving at who must then be his roommate. “no, you can come in.”
“sure i’m not disturbing some hot date?” he grins good-naturedly, then nods when taehyung shakes his head at him and steps into the room properly. he closes the door behind him and throws his bag on the floor and his body on the bed, groaning when he hugs his pillow. rolls over and waves at jimin. “sorry, hi! i’m jeongguk. i’m taehyung’s roommate.”
jimin nods at him, waves back a little awkwardly. “hi. i’m jimin. taehyung’s—uh, we met at the grocery store.”
“oh, yeah, he’s definitely talked about you.” he looks over at taehyung and something seems to pass between them, encoded eye-squints and head movements which meaning is lost to jimin.
“how was your workout?” taehyung enquires. he picks up an m&m and throws it at jeongguk, missing by inches and watching sadly as it lands on the floor instead.
“it was good. you should come sometime, for real.”
“we’ve been over this.”
jimin tilts his head at taehyung. “you don’t work out?”
taehyung looks at him in disgust, then sighs out. “not if i can avoid it,” he states clearly. “but you do, right? dance and all.”
“yeah, obviously,” jimin agrees. “but your body’s still really nice.”
taehyung cocks his eyebrow. “oh?”
jimin feels dumb. “just meant, from what i’ve seen. fashion-wise, too. you look nice. and don’t even have to work for it, apparently.”
“well, jimin, your body’s really nice, too.”
jeongguk groans. “you said i wasn’t disturbing anything.”
“oh, you’re not.” taehyung looks over at him and winks, “you’re welcome to join.”
“oh, my god. shut up. you wanna suck my dick so bad.”
“i mean, can you really blame me?” he looks him up and down and licks his lips obscenely. jeongguk just rolls his eyes in response, but his cheeks are slightly flushed.
jimin watches the exchange with interest. they seem really close, fond of each other even though bickering just slightly, taehyung throwing another m&m jeongguk’s way as he scoffs at him that he’s so shameless.
“what do you study?” jimin asks jeongguk, and he stops dead for a moment when looking at him, then blinks slowly and tells, “uh, i’m a psychology major. i kinda wanted to be a tattoo artist, too, but i dunno. psych’s good. you did dance?”
“really?” at first glance jimin never would’ve guessed that, no visible tattoos anywhere. of course, he might have some hidden away in more concealed places. “that’s really cool. yeah,” he goes on, “dance and chemistry.”
jimin laughs, looks down at his lap a little shy. “sorta, yeah.”
“you know, jeongguk looks like this gym-obsessed fuckboy, right?” taehyung joins in, and jeongguk gets out a hey before he goes on. “but what’s really funny is that when he gets drunk, he gets so heated about freud and goes on these long rants. it’s really cute.”
jeongguk’s flushed pink and fidgeting with his fingers. “you know, it’d be so cool if you’d stop humiliating me in front of all your hookups.”
“i’m not a hookup,” is jimin’s instinctual response
“he’s not a hookup,” taehyung reiterates, looking from jimin to jeongguk.
jeongguk sighs. “i don’t care. just stop embarrassing me all the time, hyung.”
“but you make it so easy,” taehyung grins, “and you’re so cute when you get blushy.”
jeongguk turns redder, then lies down and brings his pillow up to cover his face. “i hate my life.”
“you know,” jimin says, “you should totally get payback by telling me something embarrassing about taehyung.”
jeongguk sits up at the speed of light, mouth a wide, wicked grin. “that’s difficult because taehyung has zero shame, but–”
“fuck,” taehyung interjects, then looks at jimin with wide eyes. “why would you do this to me?”
jimin shrugs, pokes his tongue in his cheek before licking his lips. “i’m so ready for this.”
“once we woke up and his contacts were stuck on the mirror ‘cause when drunk he’d tried to put them on where his eyes were.”
“i hate you,” taehyung says calmly as jimin snorts on a laugh. “dicksucking offer is off the table.”
“i’m sure it’ll be back within the next two hours.”
“yeah.” taehyung sighs wistfully. “one day.”
yesterday was rly fun!!
whatre u up to now???
just got dressed to go to the studio!
haha have fun!!!
just fucking around but i gotta kick my own ass to do some essays
i will try
good luck with ur essays!
he locks his phone and heads to the studio, excited for rehearsal. though it’s stressful and he barely has time to sleep, there’s a special mindset when on the studio floor and able to lose himself in what he’s most passionate about—which is what it all boils down to in the end: dance is what he’s passionate about, so no amount of stress or lack of sleep will ever be enough to wreck that and make him change his mind.
with his music on, he spends a couple of hours there. it doesn’t feel at all like hours, time flying by when lost so deep in rhythm and fluid movements, but when he takes another break for water, the clock tells him it’s been hours, and if he really listens to his body, his muscles are telling him the same thing.
he packs his stuff and gets back for a quick shower.
all clean, he’s got a couple new texts. one from his mother asking if he’s taking care of himself (this one’s a weekly one, and the answer’s always the same: an eye roll as he types out yes, mom! stop worrying so much, though it’s actually really sweet of her) and a couple from taehyung.
how was dance????
i did one (1) of my essays so i’m treating myself now
i dunno why im procrastinating lol its an ok topic im just a dumbass
dance was really nice, just got back
what do u have to write about?
he goes to put the kettle on while waiting for taehyung to reply. finds a tea bag and a cup, then gets a banana from the fridge and waits around for the water to boil.
u know the kiss? by gustav klimt
[attached_img] this one lol
yeah i know it!
i’m analysing that in its historical context!!!
so looking at historical references and such
its pretty fun actually bc klimt’s playing around with stuff from lots of diff eras
like art nouveau but also modernism hehe
anyway stop me omg!!!
even via text message, taehyung’s enthusiasm and extroverted nature shine through. he’s a fast texter, too, messages popping up on jimin’s phone in quick succession, all bordering on rambling. his water’s boiled so he quickly pours some into his cup before shooting back a response.
no, i don’t mind!
i don’t know a lot about it but it sounds interesting
u shld stop procrastinating it sounds fun
wow hi mom!!! didnt know u knew how to hack phones
oh my god shut up
ur right tho
guess i’ll get to it… u have any cool plans for the night??
i have some calculus to do
oh damn that sounds fucking awful sorry bro
thank u hehe
good luck to u too!
they text a lot the next couple of weeks. with both of them having packed schedules, they don’t get to hang out in person at any point, but jimin feels taehyung’s presence the whole time anyway with the way his phone’s lighting up almost hourly with updates from him.
he attaches pictures, sometimes. on his way to a morning class when the sky looked nice, or a mirror selfie to show off the day’s outfit—jimin’s the happy receiver of visuals to accompany the emoji-filled texts.
after the third scenic image, he gets out of him that he’s sort of into photography—but just as a hobby! he stressed, saying it wasn’t anything to talk about, actually, just another kinda nerdy thing he likes.
at no point does it feel weird either. he doesn’t think much about the how’s or even why’s for taehyung suddenly being part of all of his days, just rolls with it and is glad he is. he rants about homework and essays, the grocery store running out of is favourite ramen flavour, and in turn jimin does the same: sends sweaty studio selfies and pitiful complaints about whatever he has to memorise for class.
two weeks later, though, taehyung texts him if he has plans in the weekend. for once, jimin’s doing okay with time, so he actually doesn’t have any plans besides basic survival. he tells taehyung just such.
do u want to go with me to the trickeye museum?
we can grab food too after maybe
its ok if you dont want to i just thought itd be nice hehe
that sounds nice!
i dont think ive ever been before
oh??? its rly cool!!!!
we could go in the afternoon and then go for pizza or smth after
i’m definitely in!!!
AHH IM SO EXCITED!!!!
me too omg
they decide to meet around three, and both shoot another couple of text reiterating their excitement for it. taehyung recounts how he’d gone when he was a kid and been so in awe of everything his parents had had to literally drag him out again after three hours.
since it’s famously aesthetic hongdae, jimin picks his outfit carefully. black jeans skinny enough they look painted on and a red-and-black striped t-shirt. he tucks it in and adds a wide belt, black shoes and neutral eye make-up, and he’s ready to go.
taehyung’s there when he shows up, waving excitedly for jimin to notice him. he gives a short wave back and heads over to him quickly, lets him embrace him in a quick hug when he’s near enough for that.
“hi!” taehyung says, voice and features warm. he’s wearing a grey t-shirt with a print of michelangelo’s creation of adam, a couple of (perhaps self-cut) holes here and there. he’s paired it with a black skater skirt and fishnet stockings, chunky sandals and a red beret. like the first time they’d met, he looks like the spawn of an art student and a cover model.
“hey,” jimin returns, smiling back at him and giving another shy wave.
“you look great.” he gives another smile, then gestures for jimin to follow along and starts walking towards the museum’s opening. “how’re you doing?”
“oh, you know.” jimin shrugs. “like always.”
taehyung tilts his head and narrows his eyes at him. “you’re not overworking yourself, are you? you seem like the type.”
jimin laughs at it, shaking his head slowly. “nah, don’t worry. how are you, though?”
“dude, i’m fucking great,” he returns, beaming with excitement, “i like this museum loads. it’s really fun, so i’m super hyped!”
jimin grins at him, and soon they’re in line for the museum, queue not looking too long in front of them, so it doesn’t last long either till they’re at the entrance and get to pay for a ticket each.
since taehyung’s been there before, he leads the way and points out his favourite parts. they take a lot of pictures, taehyung posing in front of the paintings so he blends in with them, whole place an interactive sphere of optical illusions. he has jimin pose, too, fishing up his phone to snap pictures of him, and asks if they can take selfies as well. jimin’s definitely up for that, quite the fan of selfie culture.
quickly, he finds himself agreeing with taehyung—the place is pretty cool, fun enough he definitely understands why baby taehyung fell in love with it and didn’t want to leave. with taehyung’s immense knowledge of art and art history, he keeps running commentary whenever a painting reminds him of a favourite of his; goes on tangents and tells jimin about the stylistics of modernity or how the development of new techniques influenced renaissance characteristics. he’s so passionate jimin almost considers switching majors.
at the carnival street, one of the games is build around van gogh, starry night turned into the target for a ball game. they both put down enough money for a couple balls, then start throwing to get the stars to light up. taehyung’s not too great at it (to say it nicely), but jimin’s decidedly better at this than any video game, so he wins a tiny plushie.
“what’re you gonna name it?” taehyung asks immediately, bouncing on his feet. “you gotta name it something. you were so good at that, by the way. you ever considered quitting dance for darts or something?”
jimin snorts. “shut up.” shakes his head and weighs the purple figurine in his hand, looking at it from another angle. “whatcha think it looks like? i’m thinking rupert, maybe.”
“that…is a god-awful shit name,” he says, falling into a laughing fit and grabbing onto jimin’s arm. “i’m thinking more…baby g.”
“baby g,” jimin repeats thoughtfully. “not too bad. welcome to the world, baby g.”
taehyung boops his finger to the little toy figure’s nose. “welcome to the world, baby g.”
trailing further along the carnival street, they look at everyone else walking around, all smiling happily and taking pictures. they stop themselves to snap a couple more as well, jimin figuring his mom will probably be happy if he sends her one later and updates (again) on how he’s doing.
“you were right,” jimin says softly when they’ve been through the whole place, shuffling out of the exits. “it was really cool.”
taehyung grins, hand brushing jimin’s just barely. “i’m really glad you thought so. i know it’s a little, i don’t know, childish maybe? but i think the concept’s really awesome.”
“no, i think so too!” jimin’s quick to reassure, shoving both hands in his pockets and rocking back on his feet. taehyung’s got a couple inches on him, especially with the heels of his sandals, so this close he’s got to tip his head back to maintain eye contact. “i liked it. it was cool.”
“good,” he nods happily, mouth a soft smile. “did you wanna grab food too? pizza?”
“sounds good,” jimin agrees. if he pays attention, he can feel the beginnings of hunger, hasn’t eaten since noon, so getting food is definitely a great idea. he pulls his phone out to quickly check the time, and they’ve been in the museum for a couple of hours—definitely time to get something to eat. “verdict on the obligatory pizza discourse?”
taehyung laughs at him, starts walking, and jimin trails along easily, figuring taehyung has someplace specific in mind. “i don’t mind, man.”
jimin nods. “good. ‘cause pineapple’s godtier and that’s that.”
taehyung just shakes his head a little at his antics, but this is a topic jimin’s never going to budge on. he changes the subject instead, focusing back on taehyung’s focused strides, “where are we going?”
“best pizza place ever.” taehyung looks over at him and shoots a crooked grin. “i found it a couple of weeks into first semester. was dragging jeongguk around, wanted to familiarise myself with the area, you know?”
jimin nods at him, following his logic easily. he’d done something similar, though it’d been focused on good trails for running, quickest way to and fro the dance studio, and creating a mental map of the best grocery stores, since he’d from day one known he wouldn’t be able to afford going out to eat too often.
taehyung leads him through side streets and odd alleys, points out architectural details or other cool things from the street life for jimin to see, and soon they’re standing below a red neon sign blinking OPEN 24/7. he grins at jimin over his shoulder and pushes the door open, and inside is the contradiction of what the outside would have passers-by believe: simple interior, nothing too showy.
they’re led to a table, and taehyung slides into his seat casually, familiarity with the place evident in his movements. jimin sits down in front of him, eyes drawn to the decorations around them. the furniture’s minimalist in design, slender-legged tables and chairs kept in matte black, framed art prints on the walls, and the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling keeping the whole place not too brightly lit. jimin focuses his eyes back on taehyung and smiles, “nice place.”
“right?” taehyung says. “it’s pretty arty. and the food’s good.” he picks up both menus the waitress left them with and hands one out for jimin to take; he accepts it easily and scans down the list of pizza names, all somehow tangentially related to popular cultural.
“i’m having the sakura, by the way. my fave.”
jimin looks for the name and finds it as number 2, a standard pizza with just tomatoes and cheese. he hums quietly as he reads everything again, then settles on, “i think i want the chesire cat.”
“oh,” taehyung locates it and his eyes flicker as he quickly reads the topping, then grins up at jimin, “you’re definitely better with spicy stuff than me.”
“you’re not big on that?”
taehyung gives a sheepish smile. “definitely not. jeongguk says i’m a baby.”
jimin grins in return, shaking his head slightly.
“oh, also,” he goes on, sending jimin a gentle smile. “i can cover the bill.”
“no,” jimin says, word coming so immediate it’s forceful, “no, no. is this because of what i said weeks ago? about how you afforded just buying whatever cool things you found? i have money, taehyung. it’s fine.”
taehyung squints for a second, then he nods slowly. his voice sounds a little different when he talks again, but just for a second, and really barely discernible. “okay,” he says, nods more resolutely. “yeah, it’s fine. what do you want to drink?”
jimin flips to the last page and scans the list of beverages. it’s a saturday, so any kinds of alcohol definitely sounds nice; he casts his eyes upwards to glance at taehyung through his lashes, watches how he purses his lips and hums to himself as his eyes flicker down the menu. “not sure. how about you?”
“eh.” he shrugs. “the raspberry juice, i think. i can’t hold my liquor and you don’t deserve having to deal with that.”
jimin laughs, shaking his head. “figures,” he mumbles, “all right, lemme get apple juice then. best kids’ party ever.”
“that’s so cute. juice is underrated, honestly.” he waves a waitress over and rattles off what they wanted, then sinks back in his seat when she turns her back to them and walks away with a polite smile.
“so, what was your favourite part of the trickeye?”
jimin taps his finger to his cheek, considering for a moment. “hmm,” he hums. “i liked the van gogh game.”
“‘cause you got to beat my ass?”
jimin snorts at that. “definitely felt good, yeah.”
taehyung laughs in return. “asshole,” he mutters. “i’m not sporty. glad to be an art student and not some popular jock.”
jimin crosses his arms in front of him, leaning back in his seat and tilting his head. “taehyung, i’m not a jock.”
taehyung looks at him consideringly. “okay,” he shrugs, “but you could’ve been.”
the waitress returns with their drinks and taehyung accepts his raspberry juice joyfully, thanking her multiple times, then pushing the straw between his lips and sucking in a big gulp. “dude, it’s so good.”
jimin takes a drink of his apple juice, which tastes like, well, apple juice. he sets the glass down on the table. “i can’t even imagine you as a jock.”
taehyung cocks his eyebrow. “oh, you can’t?” his voice sounds challengingly, but his eyes glint playfully. “i could be a jock.”
he lets his eyes run down his upper body, then back up to his face. “no,” jimin grins, “you really, really couldn’t. you’re too…art.”
“flagging that one as a compliment.” his face is cracked open in a wide grin, teeth flashing at jimin.
it doesn’t last too long till the waitress returns, small smile on her lips as she sets down a plate in front of each of them, telling to enjoy their food and call if anything’s wrong. taehyung grins at her, and both of them thank her.
they dig into their pizzas, exchanging soft, appreciative moans around the first bites. jimin swallows and looks up at taehyung, clears his throat with a gulp of juice, then smiles and says, “yeah, it’s good.”
taehyung gives a dazzling smile and an, “i know, right?” before opening his mouth wide for another bite, chewing happily and licking at his fingers.
time flows easily, as does conversation between them—jimin mentions he’s been reading slaughterhouse-five the last couple of nights before sleep, and taehyung smiles softly, asking what he’s thinking of it. “it’s good,” jimin says after a moment’s consideration. “i really like the style of it. and unreliable narration is one of the best things.”
“agree,” taehyung says cheerfully, leaning back in his seat and stretching his arms out for a second. “i’ve not read everything by vonnegut, but i’ve read some. slapstick’s my favourite.”
so they talk of that, taehyung summarising the storyline and why he loves it so, and jimin deciding definitely to check it out from the library or find it somewhere online. taehyung returns that he hasn’t been reading lots lately, focusing instead on school work and opting for binge watching cartoons when free, rambles for a couple of minutes about a specific show he’s been into.
suddenly, a voice calls it’s-a me, mario! and jimin looks over his shoulder in confusion when taehyung grins, “ah, that’s jeongguk.” he pulls out his phone from his pocket, eyes on the screen as he says, “he’s asking if i’m gonna be back for the night.”
“oh my god, is he sexiling you?”
taehyung looks up at jimin curiously, then shakes his head as he taps out a reply back. “nah.” he puts his phone down on the table, screen up, and leans forward, rests his elbows on the surface and his head in his folded hands. tone lazy, he asks, “you’ve got plans for the night?”
jimin spends a second considering, then shrugs. “no. probably just gonna finish the book and go to sleep or something. no roommate, no sexiling.”
“hah, right.” he leans back again and picks up a toothpick, pushing down a cuticle. “me neither, really. maybe i’ll play overwatch with jeongguk.”
they leave soon after. split the bill and head back out, accompany each other back towards campus and part ways when they get there. taehyung asks jimin to update him when he finishes slaughterhouse-five, jimin promises to do so, and then taehyung pulls him into a tight hug and thanks for the day before letting him go.
so i bought these banana biscuits right
and theyre so fucking awful dude
idk what i expected and idk why ur fav fruits banana but
jesus CHRIST ??? ?
ive eaten 7
why have u eaten 7 if theyre bad…
because im a masochist next mf question
IDK because im bored n i bought em with my MONEY
n maybe the next one will taste better u know…
idk im just bored! tell me what to do!!
go to the gym with jeongguk
i’d appreciate it if you’d block my number and never speak again xoxo gossip girl
jimin’s convinced his chemistry professor has a personal vendetta against him. they’re past indifference and neutral dislike, even past downright hatred—it’s a straight up bloody vendetta by now, and the worst part is jimin’s not even sure what he’s done. he thinks it might just be him as a person, maybe how he’s chosen to major in dance side-by-side with the chemistry, he really isn’t sure, but once again he’s got no less than seven lab reports to write up before the 8am class tomorrow morning, as well as an impossible load of readings to do.
bad thing is he might genuinely die before it’s done.
good thing is if he can survive this, he can survive literally anything.
he self-isolates, because it’s the only tactic that’ll help and let him actually get through this. phone shut off and door locked, sits himself down with pen and paper and laptop blasting music loud enough through his earphones to not let anything else get through.
taehyung shows up at one point, doesn’t knock or anything else that might disturb, just sets down a basket in front of his door with a couple of different pick-me-ups. there’s his favourite chocolate and protein bars, some tea, and a heart-shaped stress ball. he knows it’s from taehyung because he’d left a sweet note as well, wishing good luck with the work, and i believe in you!!!!!! hugs tae
it makes him smile. really, at first he almost trips over it when opening his door, but when what’s going on sinks in, it makes him smile. he eats half of the twix immediately, then puts the rest aside with the promise to get it when he’s finished the next report.
somehow, magically, he pulls through. manages to squeeze in a two-hour nap around 4am, but otherwise doesn’t sleep at all. by the time he makes it to class, he’s switched into an almost-manic exhaustion, so overtired he’s actually energised, and he’s sure it’s going to crash fatally when he makes it back to his place later, but for now he’s just grateful for it. this way, he (hopefully) won’t pass out in class and give his professor another reason to make his life living hell.
when finally back out, he zombie-walks back to his flat and sinks down on the floor. sits for a moment just staring at the wall above the bed, blinking slowly, considers whether he wants to go to the studio to rehearse, or if he should nap first. he’s not actually good at napping; can’t ever fall asleep, and ends up feeling bad for wasting time. he has to be productive, always, but even productivity has its inherent hierarchic nature: there’s dance, which is at the top and the best way to spend time, then there’s anything study-related at a close second. the gym’s a third, and then non-school-related reading is an acceptable pass-time as well, definitely better than most other things. like napping, for example.
the part of his rational self occupied with such odd things as self-care and staying alive is telling him his body might fundamentally be in need of a nap now, though, and then to hell with whether it’s productive or not. it feels bad, but he thinks it might be true—so he pulls his shoes off and stumbles into bed, pulls the duvet over his body and closes his eyes.
and of course, he’s never felt more awake than then, but forces himself to stay put, eyes closed and focus on his breathing. slow inhales and exhales, visualises a glowing orb starting at his right foot and slowly moving up his leg, making his entire body relax and covering it with warmth.
he drifts off.
and wakes up around 2am, frantic and confused. checking his phone for the time, everything comes back and he sighs out gently, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed to start pulling out of his jeans. he blames his past self for falling asleep in them, but gets them off and rolls back under the covers, quickly sets an alarm for 7 before passing out again.
hey!! thank u soo much for the lil care package, ur so sweet dude!
sorry i didnt text till now i was so buried
howre u doing?
no this is jimins ghost texting
omg thats so cool hows life as a ghost
how much do u charge for spooking ppl ???? serious inquiry
decided on a case-to-case basis
who we gonna spOoK!!!
JEONGGUKIE!!! OF COURSE!!!
but lets spook everyone hehe do u get scared easy??
OMG U DO ITS A BABY!!!
CUTE!!!!! watch out or youll be the one getting spoOKED!!
YOU WOULDN’T DARE!
better stay on ur toes small guy
ay but u survived everything fine?? im proud of u!!
i did, and i actually think i did ok with labs?
hope my prof will agree hah lets see
ur sooo good jiminie the best
im good also!!!!
its thursday which means its fRIDAY TOMORROW!
usually how the calendar works ur a smart boy
im THE smartest boy!!!
a smart good boy lol
sounds like u have plans tho!! wanna share?
not rly hah just weekend
jeongguk n i will probably try a marathon again
a movie one that is!!!
if u see me running u should run too bc something evil is def chasing me
ill bear that in mind hah
id ask if u wanted to join but maybe this is the day jeongguk finally lets me blow him
oh my god shut up
best of luck dude
october means halloween. jimin’s never been too into it, always scared people will laugh, but taehyung’s very into it—starts talking about it by the first of the month, hyped up for the party at the end of the month and already starting to think in costumes. with taehyung so into it, obviously jimin’s got no choice but come to the party. taehyung said a no would mean a no to their entire friendship, and jimin’s still not certain how much of it had been a joke.
his costume is the biggest cliché, but it is what it is. store-bought vampire outfit, classic black and burgundy, complete with nice shoes and a cape. he’d bought fangs as well, then spent a long time in front of the mirror getting his make-up right. consulting various youtube tutorials beforehand, he’d finally settled on filling his lips in with dark red and playing around with heavy eye make-up: dark tones of purplish red.
taking a step back and looking at himself in the full mirror, he decides he looks good. cliché as it is, there’s a reason the vampire’s classic—mysterious and alluring for it, they’re a fucking sex symbol. he grins at his own reflection, then grabs his phone and money, locks the door and heads out.
when he gets there, a lot of people are already nearing drunkenness, music blaring loudly and everyone smiling happily. there aren’t many not in costume so jimin’s glad he’d not come without; the whole scene a mess of witches and fairies, zombies and sexy nurses. he spots jeongguk in a bunny outfit, busy filling two red cups, and next to him whom he figures to be taehyung, dressed up as a mummy with toilet paper, though it’s already starting to fall apart.
he makes his way over to them and smiles in greeting. “hey there.”
jeongguk turns around and gives him a once-over, then with a grin asks if he wants something to drink. jimin accepts happily, hand held out for another red plastic cup.
“you look great,” taehyung says, eyes drawn to jimin’s lips, before darting back up to his eyes. “very…vampy.”
jimin cracks a laugh, flushing just slightly. he takes a sip of his drink, which is sadly less strong than he’d hoped for. “that was the point, yes,” he says, “you look great, too.”
taehyung pouts as soon as jimin draws attention to his costume. “it’s falling apart,” he says, voice a little frustrated. “i was sure it’d hold up, but –” he holds up his arm and watches sadly as the paper tears “– it’s not. it’s so sad.”
jimin reaches out and pets his head gently. “i’m sorry.”
“i told you,” jeongguk pipes up, voice impossibly soft. jimin looks over at him and sees him smiling, bringing up his cup for another sip. “but you wouldn’t listen. told you we should’ve come matching.”
taehyung pushes his shoulder, groaning. “i told you already that you were right. stop rubbing it in.”
jimin grins, focusing his attention on jeongguk instead. “look at you,” he says, slowly scanning his eyes down his body, so much exposed skin and tight fabric, bunny ears sticking up from his ruffled hair. with his front to jimin, he can’t see the soft cotton tail he’s sure he must be wearing as well. “sexy.”
jeongguk flushes and bites on his bottom lip, eyes falling to the floor. “you think?”
“yeah, definitely,” jimin assures. “you look really great, jeongguk.”
“thank you, hyung,” he says happily, positively beaming at the praise. bites down on his lip again, “i look fuckable, right?”
“oh, for sure.” he nods, and taehyung agrees immediately, “the most delectable, kookie. gonna get dicked down so good, just elbow me when you see someone you like and i’ll be the best wingman ever.”
jeongguk reaches out to push his chest, muttering for him to stop being like this, but he’s still grinning, probably happy for the reassurance. with a body like that, jimin’s unsure how he could ever feel insecure, anyone with eyes and an interest in boys probably drooling and ready to give him whatever he asked for.
“you look good, too,” he says to jimin, nodding slowly.
“oh, thank you,” jimin says, a little taken aback. he’d almost forgotten already that he’d dressed up. “but you didn’t come here to compliment me,” he goes on conspiratorially, twisting his body around to scanning the room, “see someone you like?”
jeongguk’s cheeks turn pink again and he shakes his head resolutely, attention focused back on everyone around them. he takes another sip of his drink. “not yet,” he says. “maybe later. i just hope people think i look cute.”
“they do,” jimin states, voice convinced. “because you do.”
taehyung rolls his eyes. “jeongguk’s so dense about his own visuals.”
“i’ve noticed,” jimin laughs, tilting back his head to chug down the rest of his drink. “can i have another of these? they’re weak.”
taehyung’s eyes widen just slightly, and jeongguk nods, impressed. “someone came to get drunk.”
“sure didn’t come to play,” jimin returns good-naturedly, thanking when jeongguk fills his glass again and taking another sip. “any of you wanna dance?”
“yes!” taehyung replies immediately, downing his drink and dropping the cup on the floor. “let’s go, dance king.”
jimin empties his cup as well and lets himself be pulled to the floor, taehyung enthusiastic and smiling so widely. it’s clear he’s already tipsy, the way his eyes are shining and mouth curled in a constant, giddy smile, but he looks cute, skin glowing from it and always gorgeous when happy. his movements are uncoordinated, but his zeal makes up for it, bouncing around happily to the tune of the music.
jimin’s not a dance major for nothing. he lets the music hit him, feels the beat thrum deeply under his skin, then moves; slow at first, getting into it, then faster, but as controlled as always—fluid and slick, locks his muscles and does what he does best. he lets his eyes fall shut and loses himself in it; feels eyes on him, but thrives on that attention, only drives him to better himself, feels a smirk form on its own and bites down on his lip to hide it, throws his head back as he moves around the floor.
he blinks open slowly, hips moving gently, and parts his lips just slightly—keeps his mouth hanging open as he brings his hand up to push back through his hair slowly, in control and aware of how he’s coming of.
he looks good here, sensual and oozing sex appeal, where he belongs. like a fish in water, jimin’s at home here: dancing. he pops his eyes open and finds taehyung again, grinning at the way he’s staring at him with an open mouth. he makes his way back to him and loops his arms around his neck, tilts his head to the side, “what’s up, taehyungie?”
taehyung swallows and wets his lips. “i’ve never seen you dance before.”
jimin untangles his hands and lets them fall back down. “no?” he asks, thinking back. he sways his hips gently, needing to still be moving. “no, i suppose not.”
“you’re–” he tries, pausing to swallow. he licks across his lips and starts over, “you’re very good.”
jimin laughs, bats his hand at taehyung’s chest. “why, thank you,” he mutters. “want me to put on a show, huh?”
“i mean,” he says, sheepish smile in place. his hand comes up to scratch at his neck, another piece of toilet paper falling off. “i wasn’t the only one looking.”
jimin rolls his eyes and tsks, but steps back and lets his eyes fall shut again. the eyes on him definitely spur him on, but really he doesn’t care for them—doesn’t let them make him feel anxious or observed, just uses the power trip of impressing people to thrust his hips even sharper, likes making jaws drop and eyes widen.
taehyung’s not there when he looks around again, so he makes his way back to get another drink, deciding to nurse this one a little longer and not just chug it down like the first two.
taehyung reappears and he’s decidedly less covered up than he’d been last jimin saw him. the mummy costume is falling apart rapidly, so much of his skin on display. he’d been smart enough to at least wear underwear, but his chest is barely covered anymore, and arms not at all. he looks flushed, and jimin’s not sure if it’s the exposure or the alcohol, though he figures it could be a combination as well.
people have started to use the paper he’s losing to mop up spilled drinks. taehyung walks slowly towards jimin, grinning widely, and finally makes it close enough to pull him into a big hug. “jiminie,” he says giddily, petting his head affectionately. his voice comes again, clouded with ditzy tipsiness, “my costume’s shit.”
jimin’s still a little stuck on his exposed chest, broad and never-ending glowing, tan skin. his nipple’s showing, too, hard and perky, and jimin’s mind is suddenly intruded by the image of biting it. he shakes his head and blinks a couple of times to clear it out, then tries to make his voice soft, “it’s sort of falling apart, yeah.”
he pouts again, cute and puppy-like. “is it too bad?” he asks, breath catching with nerves. “i still look all right, right?
jimin’s mouth dries because taehyung definitely looks more than all right; fucking half-naked and on display for everyone to see, body glorious and soft in all the right places. his eyes dart down for a second and catches sight of a sliver of stomach skin, looking supple and soft. jimin doesn’t know exactly what the fuck’s happening, but for a long moment all he can think is how he’d like to kiss it. his whole tummy, just cover it in kisses till taehyung’s giggling and his breathing’s coming hard. he shakes his head again, “no, you look fine. a little, um–” he hesitates, and taehyung nods at him encouragingly. “a little what?”
jimin casts his eyes down, then gets an idea—he unfastens his cape where it’s hooked around his neck and pulls it off, holds it out in between them. he struggles with meeting taehyung’s eyes, “you’re a little exposed. do you want to, uh—you can use this, if you want?”
“oh.” it takes a second for his words to sink in, but his face melts into an even happier grin after a moment; he grabs onto the cape tightly and leans in to smack a loud kiss to jimin’s cheek. “god, you’re so sweet, jiminie. thank you so much. hmm, how should i then–” he goes on, stepping back and holding the cape up in front of him. he tries different angles, eyebrows scrunched cutely as he thinks over how best to cover himself up a little more.
in the end, he drapes it over his shoulders like jimin had worn it and looks up at jimin with a considering smile. “‘s okay?”
“yeah,” jimin nods, mouth the fucking sahara because now taehyung’s not only half-naked but also wearing jimin’s clothes. he thinks he might be going crazy. “looks good.”
“hah!” he reaches out to push his shoulder, then lets his hand stay touching him for a moment. “you’re always there to hype me up. m’best friend.”
jimin’s heart shudders stupidly at that, because he hadn’t been aware taehyung considered him that close—sure, jimin thought of taehyung as one of his closest friend, sometimes kept up at night thinking about how quickly they’d fallen into each other, just clicked so easily like few things ever click, but it’s another thing entirely to hear it from taehyung himself. he rolls his eyes and returns, “dumbass. you should’ve listened to jeongguk.”
“oh?” taehyung tilts his head. “you want me to be a sexy bunny?”
jimin turns red. “that,” he stresses, “is not what i said.”
“hmm…” taehyung falls into him for another hug. “he does look great, though, doesn’t he?”
“jeongguk?” jimin clarifies, then hums as taehyung nods. “yeah, he does. you guys got something going on?”
taehyung snorts, shakes his head. “nah,” he says. “we’ve fucked once, but we’re not dating or anything. just good friends.”
jimin nods. it’s something he’d wondered for a while, where exactly the line was drawn between them—sometimes acting so married in both domesticity and bickering, and the amount of innuendos and sex references. but then simultaneously, now jeongguk is looking for a hookup tonight and taehyung offered to be wingman, so jimin figured they weren’t going steady. now, though, he’s sure.
“he was great, by the way,” taehyung says, lets out a dreamy sigh as he closes his eyes softly. “if you’re interested in him.”
jimin stiffens. “uh,” he hesitates, “i’m not… into boys?”
taehyung turns his head and looks at him curiously, head tilting slightly. “oh?” he says. “well, that’s okay. jeongguk’s ass is still heavenly.”
jimin laughs at him, shaking his head a little. “is he okay with you telling this?”
“huh?” taehyung squints. his speech is getting more slurred, brings up a hand to stifle a yawn. “yeah, sure. didn’t ride him to not even get bragging rights.”
he grins at him again, reaches out and ruffles his hair affectionately. taehyung sighs happily at the motion, head leaning into jimin’s hand; hair mussed up and cheeks dusted pink he looks even softer, smiling contently at jimin. he mumbles, “you should dance again.”
“huh?” jimin brings his hand back and pushes it through his hair.
“you,” taehyung says, blinking slowly, “should dance again. you’re so good. please?”
jimin feels his cheeks heat slightly, but the room’s warm and taehyung’s drunk enough it won’t be noticed. he pulls back, rolls his shoulders. “you want me to dance?” when taehyung nods enthusiastically, he plasters on a smile and nods back, “okay.”
both of them make it back towards the designated area, but taehyung slides down to the floor. he sits cross-legged and leans his back against the floor, and suddenly the eyes on him are making jimin nervous. they usually don’t, but it feels different now—maybe it’s that it’s specifically one person, watching just jimin, that maximised attention. he’s not sure, but he relaxes his muscles and exhales a breath, then closes his eyes and lets the music flow through his body, easily feeling the beat and starting to move with it.
he feels taehyung’s eyes burning on him, but he channels the anxiety into improvement. focuses everything he has on making every move precise; every thrust or sway of his hips sharp enough to cut. he keeps his eyes closed, losing himself in it till he’s barely aware of taehyung’s, let alone anyone else’s, eyes on him. blinks open when the song changes and sees taehyung staring, mouth slightly open and eyes zoned out, and something—twists. inside of him, something falls to the side and he loses his grip for a second, stomach lurching and his body sways in a way that wasn’t planned. he clenches his fist and closes his eyes again, throws his head back to show off his neck. he’s sure he’s glistening with sweat, but doesn’t feel too disgusting for it—instead it hypes him up a bit because it means he’s putting in work, and he puts in more: unsure why, but needing more than ever to impress. he wants to look good, wants to show off.
he twists again, back bending, then is back at swaying his hips gently and blinks open to find taehyung’s eyes. he cocks his head to the side and gestures for him to come closer. taehyung obeys, slowly scrambling to his feet and making his way towards jimin.
“god,” he mumbles, falling forward and letting jimin hold him up. “you’re such…a dancer.”
jimin chuckles, wraps his arms around him loosely and dances with him softly. “glad you don’t think my parents are wasting all their money on my education.”
taehyung just giggles softly, head falling to land on jimin’s shoulder. “shut up,” he mumbles. “just meant…god. so in control. ‘s amazing.”
jimin feels warm at his words. the compliment gets to him differently than usual; he’s always thrived on praise, needs it to live, but right now it doesn’t feel like any other time. it’s not just praise, it’s taehyung drunk and smiling at him in awe, so pretty, dressed in jimin’s stupid vampire cape and not much else, telling jimin his dancing is amazing.
the thing that twisted in his stomach earlier twists again, goosebumps suddenly appearing everywhere and making him shiver. he’s unsure what exactly it is, but taehyung is so pretty he suddenly can’t breathe.
“uumm, jiminie,” he mumbles, “‘m really tired…”
“do you want me to follow you back to your room?” jimin asks, lets his hand stroke down taehyung’s jawline softly.
he whines and starts nodding, then pausing to shake it instead. “no, ‘m wanna… ‘s halloween party!”
“yeah,” jimin’s voice comes slowly, “it is.”
“i’m such a baby if i just sleep.” he blinks slowly, resembling a baby deer, pouts at jimin.
“you’re always a baby,” jimin teases, gives his bicep a squeeze. “i’ll follow you back, if you want. you’re half-naked.”
“that,” taehyung nods, “is not true. ‘m wearing your cape.”
a moment of silence passes, jimin just smiling softly at the way taehyung’s looking so dazed and out of it, eyes crossing and mouth opening and closing to mouth words silently. he breaks it with sleep-ridden words, “ugh. said i’d be jeonggukie’s wingman…”
“dude, you’re falling asleep on your feet.” jimin giggles at taehyung’s slow blinking, how he immediately yawns and further illustrates jimin’s words. “let’s just get you back to bed. i’ll text jeongguk.”
he groans, but then nods decisively. “okay,” he mumbles, looks up at jimin with childlike, obedient eyes. “follow me back.”
he shoots jeongguk a quick text that he’s taking taehyung back to their room, doesn’t get a reply but figures he’s done what he can, then hooks taehyung’s arm over his shoulder and starts walking him back towards his room. taehyung rambles nonsense on the way there, jimin just muttering agreeably in return and trying not to laugh at his antics. he’s endearing, cuter than ever, hanging on to jimin and stumbling on his feet.
he gets them both into his room, then pulls at the stray toilet paper still on taehyung’s body, and tucks him into bed. he tries ignoring when he sees his bare skin, tan and terribly soft, how gorgeous it’d look a little bruised and kissed purple. shoves it all away, unsure what it means, just gets taehyung into bed and tells him to close his eyes. he gets water and aspirins to leave by the bedside, then tells him goodnight before leaving him to it. he’s already snoring lightly when jimin steps out of the room.
in the hallway, his stomach keeps twisting. his hands are shaking lightly, and he can’t shake the sound of taehyung’s quiet whine when falling into bed, can’t stop replaying the image of all that skin, only covered in jimin’s clothes. even just a shitty halloween costume, still it was jimin’s. he shakes, checks his phone again to see if jeongguk’s replied.
he hasn’t, so jimin decides to make it back and see if he can find him. there, he quickly scans the room and sees no bunny outfits, but he’s quickly pulled in for another drink and dance.
he feels light and buzzing, still high from it all, and still he’s thinking about taehyung, taehyung, taehyung—can’t stop himself from smiling a little dizzy, gets another drink before making it back to his own flat.
he pulls off his costume and stumbles into bed. he ought to remove his make-up, but his mind’s focused on other things and his body feels hazy and slow, can’t muster up the energy to do it.
he pulls up his phone again to check for a notification from jeongguk, but still nothing—sliding open messages and reading over the last text from taehyung instead, another emoji spam with happy, blushing yellow faces surrounded by suns and hearts, jimin bites down on his lip. he feels his own cheeks heat up slightly till he resembles an emoji, gnaws on his bottom lip to keep from grinning too widely.
his head’s a little dizzy, but nicely so. the raspberry shots settling in and making him all kinds of floaty happy, buzzing from it.
he hesitates, then opens safari, fingers hovering over his keyboard.
the thing that’s been twisting all night—he supposes it’s really been on his minds for weeks, thought more or less articulated, but now being drunk is catalysing a reaction, forcing it forward and making him address it, somehow. he types in,
then stops dead with a heavy heart, fear suddenly seizing his body and making it hard to push through and get that last word out. just a moment ago he’d been all great and ready to take on the world, willing to figure out what was going on, but now he can’t do it anyway. this is probably why he’s not dealt with it for weeks, repressed the thought instead and found other things to focus his energy on. not that that’s been too hard—another pro of the busy schedule of someone double majoring. he sucks in a breath, deletes the three letters already typed. tries again,
how do i know if
stops again, groans at his own cowardice.
gay quiz, he finally types out and hits the blue search button.
it feels like it takes years before the page loads, jimin feeling exposed and stupid. this is the stupidest thing—he’s the stupidest thing, asking google to help figure out what’s going on in his brain. he figures he knows the answer, just doesn’t want to address it.
when it finally loads, the first result’s from buzzfeed—How Gay Are You?—and then it just continues like that, pages up and down of quiz names more or less identical. at least that must mean he’s not the first one in this position, though he’s not sure that’s any consolation.
he closes his eyes and immediately sees taehyung, wide smile and cheeks slightly flushed from sprinting up the stairs. his black beret on and blue-and-white striped crop top, looking like a misplaced parisian. he opens his eyes again, breath catching as he clicks the buzzfeed link.
the first question’s pretty simple, just asking him to pick a colour out of six options. he goes with yellow, thinking of the sun. the next one lists six beyoncé songs, and he’s not sure exactly what that has do with his possible sexual preferences, but crazy in love is the obvious choice.
‘do you enjoy consensual sexual experiences with, or feel sexual attraction to, members of the same sex as you?’
the answer options work as a scale, first pole being ‘yes, all the time’ and other end phrased ‘never.’
jimin’s fingers hover over the options and he closes his eyes again. everything’s telling him to go with never, mind desperate not to go down this path, and besides, he doesn’t have any experience anyway, it’s not like he’s tried, so he can’t really say anything. inhaling again, his lip wobbles as the rest of his brain’s chorusing maybe, maybe, maybe—but there’s no maybe option, the middle ones giving him the options ‘um. what?’ and ‘now and then,’ and, again, he hasn’t tried, so he doesn’t know, and this was a bad idea anyway, he doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to close his eyes and see taehyung all over again, lips soft and pink, wondering what it’d be like to kiss him, and–
he hits um. what? with closed eyes and sighs out in relief when he sees the next question just wants him to choose a city. he goes with tokyo, then cocktails for choice of alcohol, but then he’s hit in the face with a reiteration of the third question. he knows somewhere, obviously, that that’s the only question actually relevant and decisive of sexual orientation, but he doesn’t want to address ‘do you like having sex with people of the same sex?’ it’s much nicer, much easier, to just choose between favourite candy and animal.
he hits ‘gender binaries, wtf?’ because that resonates with him, yeah, fuck the constructed gender binary and everything, but also, awfully, it sort of avoids the question at hand. he’s not saying yes, but also not saying no.
another fun question, then another fist in the gut, punching all air out of him because this one’s really…
‘have you ever felt sexually attracted to someone of the same sex?’ and one of the options going this one time…
he barely hesitates before clicking that, taehyung’s face contorted in a laugh flashing on the backside of his eyelids again, and he feels—he feels dirty, feels fucking awful all over, filthy and stained and so, so ugly for it. remembers taehyung saying he was bi, and jimin knows it’s not bad, doesn’t think it’s bad, it’s just—different, now. it’s different when it’s like this, when it’s himself wondering about kissing a guy (taehyung) because he’s his friend, he feels…feels like a predator.
he swallows, liquid bravery long forgotten and now just sad from the alcohol.
he answers the last questions, most of the shallow kinds, and the one dealing with gender preference has a cool option of not caring about that, but caring about wine, so he chooses that, but as he’s about to hit ‘finish test’ he freezes up.
okay, he breathes to himself. it’s just a dumb quiz. it’s just like that one that made me snow white and not mulan, it doesn’t mean anything. it doesn’t mean anything.
he hits it, and the response flashes up immediately.
you got: A Little Bit Gay!
you are a little bit gay! you really enjoy having sexual experiences with members of the opposite sex, although you wouldn’t completely rule out sexual experiences with members of the same sex. in general you are physically and emotionally attracted to people of the opposite sex, but hey, you’re open to the idea that maybe the one for you could be in the same sex. it’s all cool!
he reads it four times. the phrase ‘opposite sex’ is mindless, but since it’s buzzfeed, he figures it’s expected, and decides to ignore it.
he reads it a fifth time, stumbling over maybe the one for you and swallowing down the lump in his throat. ugly, ugly, ugly, everything screams, and he closes the tab with shaking fingers. he locks his phone and pushes it under his pillow to not be dealt with for hours. he closes his eyes, and it takes hours to fall asleep, mind a chaotic mess of images of taehyung and maybe the one for you on repeat.
jimin’s compartmentalisation skills have always been exceptional. when he wakes up the following morning, it takes a minute before he remembers—head hurting, mouth dry as his whole body aches with a hangover, he recalls last night’s buzzfeed adventures.
his face heats up with embarrassment, hands quickly coming up to hide behind as he groans, mind echoing i can’t believe i did that. then, quickly changing into: i can’t believe i’m—
bites down on his knuckles and doesn’t let himself finish the sentence. partly, because he’s not even sure how it ought to end.
he still wants to cry a little, and with the way his head’s throbbing it doesn’t take many moments before his eyes are watering, tears starting to spill out and trail down his cheeks.
jimin hates crying. especially when hungover, because then he’s already got a headache, and crying just makes it worse. he blinks hastily and pushes himself out of bed, biting down how it makes his stomach lurch.
you can repress this, he thinks. just stop thinking about it and it didn’t even happen.
makes his way into the shower, and later to the gym, and continues to spend the next two weeks there, issue of lamenting his entire existence and self kept to the time between making it into bed and falling asleep. and he’s working himself hard enough that that time is limited, body so wound with exhaustion when it finally hits the sheets that he can barely keep his eyes open to overthink how disgusting he is.
he’s never thought of himself as especially homophobic, and still doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it in any other case—admires taehyung’s confidence and self-love, doesn’t feel even a hint of disgust for him—but this new thought, the idea that he might himself…it’s making him want to die. he’s so uncomfortable with it, his skin itchy and heartbeat uncontrollable, can’t even calm down enough to catch a breath.
it takes 15 days till he breaks, the thought continuing to resurface whenever he manages to push it down, and he can’t deal with it alone anymore. it won’t go away, you are: a little bit gay! echoing constantly, and no matter what he does, it keeps echoing, won’t leave him alone. he needs to talk it out, has to figure out what the fuck is going on with him, and he’s too embarrassed to google anymore, and can’t figure it out by himself. or maybe it’s already figured all out, just can’t manage facing it for real on his own; needs to sit next to someone and have them validate that what he’s feeling is real. that he is real.
he can leave out the catalyst for it all, leave out how he can’t stop his mind from conjuring up taehyung’s gorgeous face whenever he closes his eyes for just a second. he can keep it general, speak in broad terms, and maybe then he won’t give himself away. he’s so scared of anyone else finding him disgusting, too—obviously it’ll be taehyung he talks with, and he’s so terrified of him thinking he’s some awful, filthy person.
but he has to talk with him. he’s losing his mind trying to deal with it all by himself.
he opens up messages, then his fingers hover over the keyboard for two whole minutes trying to come up with something to say. finally, he settles on:
taehyung gets back to him quickly, like always.
are u free?
im always free for u bro
hehe yeah i’m not doing anything what’s up!!!! u wanna come over??
yeah, r u alone?
i’m alone! in my room, doing nothing at all. just come over!
i have chips + pepsi + super huggable arms
see you soon?
jimin’s grateful for how taehyung seems to sense his anxiety, proffering kindness, but without pointing it out or making jimin feel ugly for it. maybe he should feel bad for apparently being such an open book, but right now he’s just glad he doesn’t have to flat out say he’s feeling weird.
see you soon
shoves his phone and keys in his pockets and pulls on boots, then walks to taehyung’s room. he knocks, two soft times, and taehyung swings the door open for him. stands there, looking gorgeously relaxed, features soft and highlighted by his oversized jumper. he smiles, “hey there.”
jimin swallows. “hey.”
taehyung steps to the side and lets him inside. he reaches out and gives his upper arm a squeeze, smiling softly, then bounces down on his bed cross-legged and patting his hand beside him for jimin to sit down.
he follows his lead, a little slow from nerves, but sits and leans back against the wall. taehyung’s quiet beside him, gentle smile in place as he awaits for jimin to break the silence.
he inhales a deep breath and looks down at his clasped hands, fidgets with them. “i’ve,” he begins, voice quiet, “uh, i’ve thought about something.”
“mm,” taehyung hums next to him, eyes so kind and prompting when jimin chances a look up at them. he breathes in again, and his voice comes impossibly quiet, “i think…” shivers and tells himself to open his fucking mouth, weak baby, “i think i like boys, too.”
taehyung’s hand finds rest on jimin’s instantly, giving it a soft squeeze. jimin manages to look up through his lashes, not breathing as he blinks. taehyung’s still smiling softly at him, and touching him, so he must not find him too filthy. jimin feels slightly lighter, just from having said it, but still unclean. so unclean he thinks he might never wash off. he mumbles, eyes caught wide open and trained on taehyung’s, “i’m not sure.”
taehyung gives his hand another squeeze and asks, “can i hug you? do you want a hug?”
jimin’s lip trembles, feels close to tears again, and nods slowly. he’s pulled into taehyung’s arms, tightly embracing and so, so loving. he feels safe, warm and okay for the first time in weeks. shudders out an exhale, and mutters an apology.
“shh,” taehyung shushes immediately, continuing to hug him, rock him just slightly. “shh, don’t say sorry, jimin. you’re fine.”
jimin sniffles, then sits back and tries for a smile. “i’m not—i’m not sure, i don’t know, i thought i—i was sure i didn’t, i just liked girls, and i still do, i’m sure, i wasn’t—i’m not sure.”
taehyung’s quick to shush him again before he spirals, thumb stroking across his palm softly. “you don’t have to know,” he says. “you don’t have to know yet, or ever, it’s okay, jimin. it’s all okay. i’m really proud you told me, really glad. it’s really big.”
he looks up at him, feels small. he doesn’t know if taehyung’s words ought to feel condescending, but they don’t—they’re all reassurance, spoken so kindly and coupled with the soft strokes of his thumb. he tries, “it is?”
“yes,” taehyung stresses, nodding as he says it. “it’s really difficult, wasn’t it? i’m proud of you. how do you feel?”
jimin’s too exhausted to be anything but honest, and taehyung’s presence is such a safe one he just opens his mouth and out falls, “awful. i feel so bad, tae.” immediately flinches because he’s not supposed to feel like that, he’s supposed to be accepting and open-minded, all love and ready for it all, this is such a shit response and jimin’s such a shit person, doesn’t deserve anything at all, least of all taehyung. “i’m sorry, ‘m sorry, i didn’t–”
taehyung pulls him in for another hug, hand stroking up and down his back comfortingly. “see?” he whispers into the crown of his head, “see, it was hard to say, but you told me. i’m so proud of you jiminie, you’re so good. you’re so good.”
jimin breathes against his shoulder, eyes squeezed to not start crying. he won’t cry. “when did you,” he tries, words garbled against the fabric of taehyung’s jumper. he pulls away to make his voice discernible, “when’d you—know?”
taehyung holds him out in front of him, tilts his head to the side. “when i was bi?”
jimin nods clarification.
“hmm,” taehyung hums, settling back. “i had a crush on a boy for the first time when i was five. i didn’t know it then, not really, but i gave him flowers in kindergarten and wanted to hold his hand really bad. i told my mom about him, and she said he sounded lovely. when i figured out i was bi, as in naming it? i was fifteen.”
jimin feels stupid for being so old in comparison. it’s really never been on his mind, maybe considered it for a moment in freshman year of high school when learning for the first time of different sexualities, but never really thought about it. it wasn’t him. until now. he nods for taehyung to go on.
“there was an lgbt club at my school,” he says. “this really hot senior was in charge of it, it was pretty cool. i joined it, it was really—i don’t know, i sort of always knew, and never really thought about it? and i didn’t really need the word, and i still feel pretty fluid about it, but it’s also nice that it’s there. like, hey, that’s me! you know? i know a lot of people who feel very differently, are very connected to the identity that comes with a word, but personally i’m just kinda whatever. either way’s fine, yeah?”
jimin nods slowly. “and you just…knew?”
taehyung shrugs lightly, smile crooked. “see?” he starts, “i didn’t really, you know, care? i didn’t—i don’t—feel a need to label it, it just was whatever it was? it didn’t change anything, it’s just me. saying i’m bisexual just makes it easier to describe for other people as well, but i don’t actually feel too strongly about it either way. pan, bi—it doesn’t matter to me; i like the word just because it’s pretty neat and easy, but i’m pretty fluid with it. so, yes,” he adds, eyes zoning in on jimin’s, “i sort of just knew.”
jimin’s head’s spinning, and he gives another slow nod. “okay.”
“but it’s not the only way to feel!” taehyung stresses. “it’s not the right way to feel. like, jeongguk’s gay, and it’s really, really important to him. that he’s gay—that he doesn’t like women, and that that’s okay, you know? feeling strongly for a label isn’t bad, like, however you identify is okay. however you feel’s okay.” a small pause, then, “yeah?”
jimin bites down on his lip thoughtfully, nodding slowly again. “can you, um–” he mumbles, casting his eyes down again. “can you hugmeagain?”
taehyung pulls him in wordlessly, broad chest safe as jimin leans his head on his shoulder. he’s about to apologise again, but shuts up remembering taehyung told him not to.
as a person, jimin needs order. he thrives on a certain structure, and works best if he knows where everything belongs. he sits back and hooks his hands under his thighs, starts to gather his thoughts and opens his mouth, “i—i think, then i’m… biorsomethingtoo.”
taehyung’s smile is comforting. hand gives jimin’s another squeeze, he gently reassures him it’s okay to still take time to think.
jimin goes on, “i know i like girls.”
“girls are awesome.”
“yeah,” he nods. “yeah, they’re—have you ever had a boyfriend?”
taehyung bites his lip, head tilting slightly. “yes,” he says. “yeah, i’ve had two, actually.”
his lips part slightly, then he shakes his head. “no,” his voice comes softly, head shaking another time. there’s a wet sound from his throat. “no, not right now.”
“jeongguk?” he asks. suddenly he feels almost panicky, eyes blinking rapidly at taehyung, “you said—said it’s important to him, is he—he’s okay you told me that?”
taehyung smiles, soft and a little amused. “it’s fine,” he reassures. “we’re close. i’d never tell you, or anyone, something he didn’t want me to.”
jimin nods, breathing coming normal again. he’d feel awful if he’d forced himself upon something that was supposed to be private.
“and yeah,” taehyung goes on, “he’s single, too.”
jimin nods in understanding. another moment passes, “this doesn’t,” he hesitates, fear seizing him again and looking at taehyung with wide eyes, “this doesn’t change anything between us, right?”
taehyung’s smile flickers for just a second, then his voice comes carefully, “not if you don’t want it to?”
awkwardly, jimin fidgets his hands, “okay. okay, that’s good.”
taehyung pets his thigh. “we’re fine, bro. i’m glad you trust me. and again, you have all the time in the world to figure shit out. promise.”
jimin nods, mind made up and decided. he’s glad he told taehyung, talked with him, because he feels noticeably better now, head clearer and body less filthy. the reassurance and outpouring of support—his heart’s a little lighter, not having to carry it all alone anymore. “so,” he says, “what were you doing till i came over?”
taehyung claps his hands and grins. “about to crack open chips and pepsi,” he says. “like i texted. and then, i don’t know, play gta. wanna join?”
jimin cocks his eyebrow. “you know me and video games don’t really get along.”
taehyung snorts and pulls him into a half-hug. “well, you can be my personal hype man. how’s that sound, huh?”
“sounds good,” jimin agrees, smiling happily at taehyung. “show me how it’s done, big boy.”
dude u know how i tutor right?
two minutes into math today mark pulled a lighter out
and he SET FIRE to his homework
said he was gonna drop out and start a band
what did u do omg…
honestly? i couldnt fucking stop laughing for ten minutes
the look on his face…… “taehyung hyung, math can go fuck itself, im starting a band!”
i wish him the best of luck haha
give it five years and well catch him on some concert ad
deal were going together if it happens??
maybe u can even get front row tixx being his old tutor n all
showing him the magic of math haha
realising you’re bisexual is one thing, and jimin is dealing with it as best as he can. he’s told jeongguk as well, a little awkward bringing it up, but he’d only smiled so wide and cute, gums pulled back to reveal white bunny teeth, and pulled him into a hug. “that’s so cool,” was his words, “i’m gay.” after, they’d gone to the gym together and talked shit about this and that, jimin buzzing from the gentle friendship. he still feels fairly bad, sometimes, especially before sleep and when showering, when his mind flashes up those images, feels dirty and ugly, but it’s…it’s subsiding, slowly. he’s coming to an acceptance of it, growing into it like a new skin. he’s watched some youtube videos as well, and browsed around for coming out stories and more info, slowly learning all the lingo and getting a sense of community. a sense of identity. so, by now, he can safely articulate ‘i’m bisexual’ and know the truth of it, feel okay with it—maybe not out loud, though he’s trying to practice in the mirror sometimes, but at least in his mind.
realising you have a crush on your friend is an entirely different matter.
jimin’s had crushes before, sure, he’s even had a girlfriend once, but overall he’s generally really fucking awful when it comes to emotions. in theory, they’re lovely, of course, born under a libra sun he’s a hopeless romantic, but when it comes to reality, he’d really rather avoid them if at all possible.
taehyung’s gorgeous in every way it’s possible for a human being to be. shallowly so, visuals out of this world—most perfect bone structure, all his features balancing each other so well he was crafted for the magazine covers. but beneath that, his personality’s beautiful. jimin’s sure he’s never met anyone as kind and hopeful as taehyung, two qualities he admires endlessly. he’s brave and pure-hearted, really so sanguine it’s a little dizzying; he’s hardworking and inspired, driven to always be learning new things, so curious. so full of love it’s fucking mindblowing, always ready with open arms to hug you on a bad day, play with your hair till you’ve calmed down, and reversely he’ll drape himself over anyone near in demand of cuddles, thriving on the praise and physical aspect of love. spends what little money he has on his friends, cheer-up gifts and cute things just because—and jimin knows it’s because he struggles with the concept of it, always feeling like he takes too much and never gives enough, feels like he’s lacking and is fighting to make up for that perceived defect.
this is something he doesn’t know how to deal with. dealing with not being straight is one thing, especially when simply theoretical, but dealing with actual, real romantic feelings towards his friend of the same gender is…different. difficult.
he gets giddy whenever his phone lights up with a new text from taehyung, whose contact name he’s now changed to one night when a little tipsy and dizzy from how he’d looked sucking on a straw; feels his mouth pull into a dumb smile all on its own whenever he so much as thinks of taehyung, his laughter easily coming to play on repeat on his mind. it’s fucking distracting.
he wants to take him on a date, get to hold his hand—wants to do more than that, too, but that’s where it gets even more complicated, when the guilt starts eating away at him again, skin itching feeling so filthy and wrong.
[attached_img] done at the studio for today!
oh goddamn give a guy a WARNING!!!!
whatre u up to!!
trying to regain composure after getting the breath knocked outta me
other than that im doing nothing lol ITS FRIDAY!!!!
my 2pm class got cancelled so im free hehe
sounds great, lemme shower first?
gonna let me join
haha jk go shower n come over!!!
ill see u soon
he showers quickly, hurrying through his ridiculously extensive routine, before drying off and making it to open his closet doors, peering in critically to find what to wear. almost unconsciously, he aims to dress up, just a little, pull on something stylish, look good enough to impress taehyung a bit.
he pulls out skinny jeans and a green jumper, fixes his hair up and adds just a hint of eyeliner. heads out the door and quickly makes his way to taehyung and jeongguk’s room, knocks on the door and calls out, “hey, it’s jimin.”
“it’s open,” taehyung’s voice comes immediately, so jimin pushes the handle down and swings the door open, tip-toeing into the room. they’re both there, sprawled out on their respective beds, shooting grins and waves jimin’s way before returning their attention to the television showing avatar: the last airbender.
“hey, jiminie,” taehyung says, “come in, come in. make yourself at home.”
jimin makes a seat for himself on taehyung’s bed, sprawls out and lies down to watch the cartoon with them. they make it through an episode, then taehyung sits up and stretches, jumps up and hovers in the middle of the room for a moment. “i’m gonna…go,” he says, nodding to himself as he steps towards the door and lets his hand rest on the door handle. “just remembered i have a book waiting at the library, gonna get it. i’ll be back, uh, later.”
he leaves before either of them gets to say anything, and jimin sits for a moment just staring at the closed door. wasn’t taehyung the one who’d invited jimin over? just to leave? what’s the book he’s talking about, and why’s it so important it couldn’t wait? he feels weird, looks over at jeongguk in confusion.
jeongguk must sense his bewilderment, because he snorts out a laugh. “so,” he says, tilting his head to the side. his smile’s kind at jimin, though a little teasing. “you’re into taehyung, huh?”
jimin turns red instantly, breath kicked out of him. his words come panic-stricken, “is it that obvious?”
jeongguk suddenly looks a little guilty, quickly shaking his head and reassuring jimin. “no, i don’t think it is to him?” he hesitates, then goes on when jimin breathes out a but, “uh, i think…he thinks you’re into me.”
he feels his own eyes narrow, then widen, letting himself work through jeongguk’s words. “why?”
“in case you haven’t noticed,” jeongguk says dryly, rolling his eyes, “he just sexiled himself.”
jimin splutters and turns a little red, then tilts his head when the words settle in properly, not understanding. “he said he was coming back?”
“holy shit, you guys are meant to be.” he lets out a quiet groan and shakes his head in disbelief.
jimin gnaws at his bottom lip, lacing his fingers together and unlacing them again, repeating the motion over and over. he looks over at jeongguk anxiously, “you won’t,” he tries, breathes in, “you won’t—tell him, right?”
jeongguk shakes his head slowly. “no,” he says, word drawn-out, “no, of course not, don’t worry. but,” he tacks on, tilting his head again, “yeah?”
jimin breathes out. he flicks his wrist and fidgets with one of his rings, then sucks in a breath and gets out, quietly, “yeah. yeah.”
jeongguk coos, hands clapping. he gets out of his own bed to drape himself next to jimin, and rests his head in his lap, looking up at him with wide, happy eyes. “that’s soo cute,” he says, voice clouded with excitement, “tell me about it!”
jimin brings his hands up to cover his heating cheeks, lips already stretching into a giddy, love-sick smile. “no, ‘s embarrassing,” he mumbles. “i’m not twelve.”
“no,” jeongguk whines petulantly, pulling at jimin’s hands. “i wanna hear! he left us, didn’t he? we might as well spend the time wisely.”
jimin’s still blushing, but worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, fighting the words already ready to pour out of him. “i do—really like him,” he finally says, covering his face in his hands again, so flushed and embarrassed, but exhilarated as well, brimming with excitement to talk about it—talk about taehyung, and everything he feels whenever he thinks about him.
“go on,” jeongguk prompts, mouth pulled into a smile.
“he’s so smart,” jimin says, and then it all starts to cascade out, voice almost slurring from how much he has to say. “god, and he knows all these cool things, about all kinds of things…like art, and he’s into photography, and he’s—he’s so pretty. jeongguk, he’s so fuckin’ hot, i can’t stop thinking about…oh my god, he’s so pretty, and he’s…when he texts me, it’s so cute, and he sends selfies, it’s so cute and i’m so boring, like, hhh i don’t even know anything about anything but he’s, like, so cool, and i’m just…” he hides his face in his hands again and whispers, “i really, really like him, jeongguk. it’s so bad.”
jeongguk coos again, cheeks puffed out from smiling so big, and reaches up to poke his finger into jimin’s cheek. “this is so cute, jimin. you’ve got a crush.”
jimin flushes again, biting at his lip. “i’ve got a crush.”
jeongguk giggles at him, and jimin can’t help but smile back at him.
i hereby invite u over to my place for an amazing night! with:
1) great food prepared by urs truly (me)
2) incredible company (me)
3) ur FAV peach vodka!!!!
4) movies?? games?? whatever u want!!!
5) did i mention INCREDIBLE COMPANY?? ME!
this friday, come over around 5!
lots of love from ur friend,
ur so sweet hehe this is so lovely im excited!!
and peach vodka just for me?? o! u make me swoon
thats the goal haha
no for real im excited then!!!!!
cant wait to see u!!!
fuck uni for taking all our time
miss u all the time!!
i miss u too taehyungie
BUT!! ill see u friday for all those 5 awesome things
“hey,” taehyung grins excitedly when jimin shows up at his room. “you’re here!”
jimin takes a second to scan his eyes over taehyung, almost whining out when his outfit properly sinks in. he’s in fishnet tights and black, low-waist denim shorts; white crop top reading can i borrow a kiss? i promise i’ll give it back and slim suspenders. around his throat’s a snugly fitting satin choker, tiny little pendant dangling from the middle of it. jimin swallows. “i’m here.”
he lets him in and plops down on his bed. taehyung’s decorated with fairy lights on the walls and there’s music playing softly in the background. jimin smiles over at him, “aw, this is nice.”
taehyung beams at him, rocking back and forth on his feet. “glad you think so. ‘m gonna blow you away with the food.”
jimin grins up at him in response. they spend the next hour or so just going over the week’s lectures and adventures, taehyung telling a story of something fun that happened in class. then jimin’s told to sit back and fuck around with his phone or something as taehyung goes to prepare food, so he scrolls through instagram and catches up on snapchat, and soon taehyung returns excitedly with a tray of food.
“close your eyes!” he calls out before opening the door, so jimin does just so, bringing his hands up to cover his eyes.
he hears him hum for the next moments of darkness, then taehyung tells him he can look. jimin takes his hands down and blinks his eyes open, smile growing slow before melting into a laugh as he takes in what taehyung’s set up: fried rice and dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, a bottle of peach vodka and a can of orange juice. “whatcha say to that, huh?” taehyung grins at him.
jimin smiles brightly, cheeks almost hurting as he gets up to pull taehyung into a half-hug. “fuckin’ awesome, taehyung.”
“right?” taehyung laughs. “i’m a culinary mastermind.”
it’s one of the best meals jimin’s ever had. consumed sitting cross-legged on taehyung’s floor, balancing the fried rice between his chopsticks and eating the nuggets just with his fingers, smiling so fondly as taehyung chews animatedly and goes on another tangent about sailor mars’ character development throughout the third season.
two drinks in, they relocate to taehyung’s bed, sitting on each end. taehyung puts the tv on, but it works just as some mindless background noise, as he picks up the bottles to mix another drink again. he downs it in one go and pours another, grinning at jimin. “wanna get drunk?”
jimin licks his lips and downs his own drink. he grins back, “definitely.”
taehyung’s definitely a clingy kind of drunk. jimin had already figured after the halloween party, but tonight’s only solidifying the thought, taehyung inching closer and closer by the second, soon half-draped all over jimin and giggling into his shoulder. he leans closer to his ear and whispers conspiratorially, “i like when it hurts.” he sounds fairly neutral, his voice only just slightly slurred from the alcohol starting to kick in properly now. jimin’s not sure he’s heard him right till he leans back again and goes on, “god, fuckin’ love to be hit, gets me so hot, but—oh. do you like that, jiminie? what do you like?”
jimin swallows. he swirls the glass in his hand, then puts it to his lips to stall. his throat’s suddenly gotten a little dry, inner vision flooding with a gorgeous image of taehyung tied up naked and crying, asking—begging—for another hit. because it’s obvious that’s what he’s talking about. he clears his throat, “you’re drunk, taehyung.”
taehyung giggles, head nodding on its own. “mm,” he agrees, stretching out and letting his hand come up to stifle a yawn. “mm, yeah, but we’re friends, yeah? we can talk ‘bout this kinda stuff, right? i wanna know you, you know. what d’you get off to, hm?” his voice is conspiratorial as he leans closer to jimin again, playful glint in his eye winking. “what gets you hot?”
jimin feels nervous and awkward, put on the spot, and there’s a voice somewhere fearful this might be a practical joke, so he clears his throat again, a dry chuckle stumbling out. “uh,” he mumbles, then muted, “yeah, i like being in control.”
“oh?” taehyung flops back on his back, eyes closing for a moment. “oh tha’s hot. god, i love, mm, getting all…out of it, y’know, when i don’t gotta think anymore. ‘s so nice. and pain. mm, love it s’much.”
jimin sets his jaw, and he clenches his fist instinctively. he breathes out of his nose slowly, so careful of staying calm and not giving himself away. taehyung’s not even had that much to drink, such a goddamn lightweight, but he wants to steer the conversation into safer waters, wants to make sure he doesn’t end up saying something that’ll make him feel bad in the morning. “taehyungie, you’re drunk,” he tries again, “let’s talk about something else. or get you to bed, you wanna get to bed?”
“noo,” taehyung whines petulantly, mouth pulling into a pout that makes him look more cute than sulky. “don’t you wanna talk ‘bout this with me? you don’t trust me, jiminie?”
jimin refrains from sighing, though it’s the instinctual response. “no, taehyungie, that’s not it,” he reassures. he’s fighting the urge to reach out and play with his hair. “that’s not it at all, i trust you, but you’re drunk so i’m not sure you really wanna talk about this. i don’t want you saying stuff you don’t wanna be saying.”
he’s still pouting, then sighs. “‘m wanna fuck,” he mumbles, “mmm, i’m drunk, feels so good and wanna…fuck, get fucked, wish i had a boyfriend.” lets out another longsuffering sigh and rolls from the couch to the floor. “jiminie, you’ve any single friends? ‘m so horny, jiminiee, i deserve to be hurt and fucked, i do, ‘m a good person, i always do m’homework…”
he sounds almost childish now, rambling on and on more to himself than anyone else, and jimin’s so caught between the urge to laugh and the meaning of taehyung’s words, how he already now knows he’ll spend weeks shamefully getting off to a replay of his voice. he shushes him, puts down his glass and stands up to tug him up by the wrists. “shh, taehyung, i think it’s time for you to get to bed.”
taehyung falls onto jimin’s chest and wraps his arms around him in a hug, hand resting on his shoulder despite the height difference. “mm’kay,” he agrees, “‘s prob’ly right…always right, jimin, my jiminie. always right, s’fucking…annoying.”
jimin chuckles a little at that, then gets taehyung hoisted up properly to support him back to lie down on his bed. he lets him stay in his clothes, fights the urge to let his hands linger on the soft skin of his stomach exposed in the crop top, then pulls his blanket over him.
he whines again, low in his throat, when jimin tucks him in. “jiminiiee,” voice slurred and soft, “don’t you think—i deserve it? ‘m want it…s’bad…” he mumbles on, but quickly interrupts himself with a yawn, eyes blinking shut and drifting off within seconds.
jimin stands for a moment, a little woozy and lightheaded himself, and the echo of taehyung’s words and the image conjured up by them aren’t helping in the least, then blinks to himself. he’s unsure if he ought to stay or leave, already knowing now even through the fog of inebriation that they’ll have to talk about this at some point, probably, and then there’s the question of making it back to his own place…
he sighs to himself. he leaves a note for taehyung and a glass of water by the bedside, then pulls on his shoes and softly lets himself out to somehow make his way back to his place.
he fidgets the entire morning away. last night keeps replaying in his mind, taehyung’s drunken oversharing, and the way he’d looked so delectably cute slightly flushed from the alcohol, hair a little fluffed-up and messy, alternating between licking at his lips and pouting petulantly. neither the visuals nor the words spoken lets jimin catch a second of rest, mind a loop of it with a background score of guilt.
or maybe not entirely guilt as much as a responsibility. in the first place for letting taehyung ramble for so long, though jimin really had done his best trying to steer to safer topics, and now a responsibility about talking it out.
he’s not sure how much taehyung remembers—maybe nothing, maybe everything—but, no matter how uncomfortable, he figures he owes it to him to bring it up. owes it to the both of them, maybe, clear the air and make sure they’re both still okay with everything. reassure taehyung that he still likes him and that he hasn’t accidentally ruined anything between them. so he’ll bring it up and they can figure it all out and move forward like nothing ever happened.
all sounds great in theory, but he’s got absolutely zero idea how he’s going to do any of it in reality.
he downs his coffee in one go, hisses a little at the burn in the back of his throat, but doesn’t really pay it any more attention.
around noon, his phone lights up with a notification from taehyung.
sorry for passing out on u last night
hope i wasnt too awful??
jimin reads the texts five times, then groans out. he doesn’t know what to do. he wants to get it over with as soon as possible, but he figures maybe they should also wait till they’re both not hungover anymore. not that he’s too badly afflicted himself, but he’s sure taehyung must be.
dont worry about it!
just try to catch some sleep
text me later?
its a deal!!
it takes another five agonising, stressful hours till taehyung texts him again to say he’s feeling much better now, and then jimin bites the bullet and calls him up. he asks if he can come over, and taehyung only hesitates for a moment before breathing out, “sure.”
jimin makes his way back to his room and knocks on the door, let in quickly and smiling at taehyung. taehyung’s changed into sweatpants and a soft, long-sleeved t-shirt, hair looking damp so he must’ve showered. “hey.”
“hi,” jimin tries. “uh, can we talk?”
taehyung scrunches his eyebrows cutely and gestures for jimin to come in, so he follows in and sits down on the edge of his bed. taehyung flops down on a chair, pulls his leg up in front of him and hugs it to his chest, then reaches a cup on the table, presumably with coffee. he blows on it once, then takes a sip. “okay, wassup?”
jimin inhales slowly. “do you—remember last night?”
taehyung seems to colour just slightly, but he takes another sip of his coffee before jimin can really tell. “i remember… parts. what about it?”
jimin wants to die. “what,” he starts, hesitating again, “parts do you remember?”
taehyung lets out a soft whine. he pulls the sleeves of his shirt out to cover his hands, looking down at his lap. his voice is soft from embarrassment, “what did i do?”
“you, uh, don’t remember anything?” his fists clench instinctively.
taehyung blinks, slow. “jiminie, just tell me what i did.”
jimin blushes faintly at the memory, looks down at his hands. “you were…” grasping for coherence, he goes on with a slow voice, “turned on. rambling. about it. wanted to, uh, get fucked.”
jimin chokes. “no, you…uh, asked if i have any single friends. you also talked about…”
when the half-finished sentence has hung between them for what seems like ages, taehyung prompts him, “talked about what?”
“preferences,” jimin’s voice cracks as he says it, and he clears his throat. “what kinda things you like.”
taehyung’s face is heating up by the second, then he covers it in his hands. “i’m so sorry,” he says, voice getting mumbled through his fingers. “i’m so sorry, fuck. fuck, did i make you—fuck, i made you uncomfortable, i’m sorry.”
“no, it’s–” he clears his throat again, “you’re fine, it’s fine, i just—i feel like i had to bring it up, you know, just make sure you’re okay. and let you know that it’s, uh, fine. you’re fine. we’re fine?”
taehyung breathes out evenly, chancing a glance up at jimin. jimin nods, slowly, and taehyung nods back. “god, this is so embarrassing. i’m so embarrassing?”
jimin smiles. “i said you’re fine.”
“god, i need to get fucking laid.”
jimin chokes again, then lets it melt into a laugh, shoulders shaking a little. “that did seem as the objective.”
taehyung pouts, looking adorable as he looks into jimin’s eyes. “i mean, i’m pretty, right? i think i’m pretty.”
“you’re really pretty.” it might’ve stumbled out just a second too fast, but there’s no changing that now. jimin looks at him again, really looks at him, and his breath catches at the truth of it: how fucking gorgeous taehyung is, high cheekbones and pretty lips, eyelashes longer than the nile. he mumbles a reiteration, “yeah, you’re pretty, taehyung.”
“then why am i not getting fucked?” he sounds slightly petulant again, but where he’d been drunk last night, there’s no alcohol to blame his words on now—so there’s no reason or need for jimin to change the subject, taehyung sober and in control of what he’s saying. “you’d think someone would wanna fuck me then.”
“i mean,” jimin begins, “we can fuck if you want. i guess. i mean, if you don’t have anyone else. god, wait, that sounds awful.” jimin blushes, arms coming up and face falling into his hands. he doesn’t know why this is all stumbling out, but now he continues rambling idiotically to try to save face, “i’m sorry, fuck, i just mean, if you wanna fuck, we can, like, fuck. i guess. but we don’t have to fuck, it’s not like i’m pressuring you. just, you know. if you wanna. we can, uh…”
taehyung interrupts him with a cute laugh, and when jimin casts his eyes back on him, his mouth’s slightly open, tongue swiping over his bottom lip. “jiminie, you’d…fuck me?”
jimin swallows hard. he’s pretty sure his face has never been this warm. “yeah,” he mumbles, adds a shrug of shoulders to feign indifference. “sure. definitely. you’re pretty, right?”
“are you sure?” he sounds a little breathless.
jimin’s breathless as well. “i mean, i don’t really have any single friends, and you sounded pretty desperate, so…”
taehyung snorts, head thrown back. “god, shut the fuck up, you asshole. you got my hopes up and everything…”
jimin’s mind blanks, though it’s been fairly stagnant to avoid overdrive for the entire conversation. he doesn’t know if it’s brave or stupid when he opens his mouth again, “taehyung, d’you wanna add benefits to this friendship?”
taehyung blinks, once very slowly, and then three times awfully quick. “do i wanna what to what now?”
jimin colours pink again, feels stupid for going there. probably blew everything. after the whole Romantic Feelings Realisation he’d decided to not make it weird between them, but now he’d definitely let those Romantic Feelings control his mouth and made things, surprise, weird between them. congratulations, park, you did it again! ruined your own goddamn life. he mumbles, “nevermind, sorry, i’m stupid.”
“no, no,” taehyung breathes out quickly, “no, no, just…say it again? i’m not, like, dreaming, right?”
jimin doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. “pretty awake as far as i’m aware, yes.”
“tell me something dream jimin wouldn’t know.”
“i…once when i was about six i ate two tablespoons of salt just because.”
taehyung tilts his head, eyes narrowing. “what the fuck? oh, but yeah, definitely couldn’t dream up that. who the fuck even does that?”
“fuck off, i was six. you’ve probably done worse anyhow.”
taehyung smiles sheepishly, hand coming up to scratch at the back of his neck. “but anyway. sex? us? i’m fucking game.”
“yeah?” this is definitely the weirdest day of jimin’s life. “you’d…want that?”
“do i want you to be my friend with benefits? the answer’s yes. do you want me to be your friend with benefits? god, please say yes.”
“yes.” jimin’s throat is dry. he swallows, repeats, “yes.”
taehyung’s smile is close to blinding, teeth flashed at jimin. he gets up from the chair and steps closer to jimin, movements deliberate and slow so jimin can say no any time. jimin doesn’t say no—rather bites down on his lip and swallows dryly when taehyung straddles his thighs and sits himself down in jimin’s lap. his hands come down to rest on jimin’s shoulders and he tilts his head to the side. “wanna fuck now?”
jimin’s caught off-guard by the phrasing, a chuckle stumbling out, but quickly he quiets and nods up at taehyung. “yeah,” he breathes. “kiss me, taehyung.”
taehyung swoops down and presses his mouth to jimin’s, soft at first, pressure firm. quickly, he parts his lips and breathes against jimin’s lips, swiping his tongue out to softly lick at jimin’s lower lip before sucking it between his lips.
they make out for a while, taehyung eager and panting slightly where he’s sitting in jimin’s lap, gradually starting to squirm and paw at the fabric of jimin’s shirt. he pulls back and blinks at jimin slowly, eyes clouded with something dark and needy.
“i’ve never done this before,” jimin says, voice a little quiet from nerves but still firm enough to be heard. he’s big on honest communication.
“had sex?” taehyung asks, and it makes jimin’s lips turn up in a small smile.
“with a guy,” he clarifies, and it’s taehyung’s turn to smile. he gives a nod, then reaches down to grab jimin’s hand and give it a squeeze. “you wanna, though?”
“yeah,” jimin says. “yes.”
“it’s fair if you don’t,” taehyung goes on, eyes suddenly so sharp and boring through jimin’s. “if you want your first time to be with someone special.”
“you’re special.” it comes without hesitation, even a little startled at the implication that taehyung’s not.
taehyung laughs, head thrown back. “yeah, yeah,” he says, laughter still in his voice but ebbing into quiet chuckles. “i meant, like, a relationship-special. love of your life, soulmate kinda thing. you don’t gotta fuck me.”
jimin feels himself blush slightly, and shuts down any thoughts or emotions related to the ‘relationship’ part of taehyung’s comment and focuses instead of the last sentence. his voice is clear enough, “what if i wanna fuck you?”
that shuts taehyung up, finally, and he swallows visibly. “well,” he mutters, “definitely not gonna turn that down.”
“yeah,” taehyung agrees, cutting jimin’s voice off. “yeah, let’s—kiss me again.”
jimin’s swift to obey, at least experienced in this area, leaning forward again and cupping taehyung’s face gently in his hands. he presses his mouth to his and kisses him sweetly at first, easily letting it turn messier, taehyung’s hand coming up to grab onto his arm. jimin pulls away and trails a line of open-mouthed kisses up his jawline, then returns to his beautiful lips: shiny and already pink, he locks his own mouth against them and licks into taehyung’s mouth.
taehyung’s almost a better kisser than jimin had imagined. and he’d imagined lots, obviously, with a mouth that red and always busy biting at the end of a pencil or whatever else, it’d almost been impossible to shake the daydreams of what it’d be like to kiss him, how taehyung would go about such thing.
it turns out he’s a little messy, very open-mouthed and wet, but the enthusiasm is almost a little endearing. jimin presses a loud smack of a kiss to his lips, then pulls away and hovers a little awkwardly.
“i can ride you,” taehyung offers, eyes blown already and looking at jimin hopefully. he bites down on his lip, seeming nervous despite his bravado.
jimin’s breath hitches and he’s slow to nod, mouth falling open slightly. “mm,” he mumbles. “you want to?”
taehyung groans, eyes closing for a second. “yeah,” he mumbles, “yeah, let me—let me ride you, jiminie.”
jimin nods again, leaning back to kiss him for another minute or two. taehyung pushes at his chest then and jimin sits back on his calves, taking in taehyung’s appearance. he already looks a little wrecked, hair mussed up and face red, lips glinting and parted. his tongue swipes over the bottom and jimin sees his eyes dart downward, notices how his breath catches when they land on his abdomen. he cocks his head to the side, “hmm?”
“hot,” taehyung shares, nodding to himself, “hot, want you out of your clothes, and outta m’own.”
“let me help you,” jimin tries, reaching back forward and grabbing the hem of taehyung’s t-shirt. he starts pushing it up slowly, revealing his soft tummy inch by inch, and he’s got to pause to press his mouth to the skin in a soft kiss. taehyung inhales sharply and breathes out a giggle as jimin kisses his stomach, but quickly they get the shirt off him and jimin sits back on his feet.
taehyung demands jimin get out of his shirt as well, and he closes his eyes and mumbles i’m so blessed as he reaches his hands out and so carefully lets his fingertips brush jimin’s abs. jimin grins at him, calls him cute and leans back down to press a kiss to his lips.
soon, they’re stripped down to their underwear and taehyung relocates them, pushes jimin down on his back and straddles his thighs. “d’you want me to finger myself?”
jimin’s head is spinning, taehyung so fucking pretty and on top of him. through the fabric of his boxers, he can see his cock’s pretty hard already, and looks big. jimin swallows, “finger yourself, taehyung.”
taehyung almost whines, mouth surely falling open for it and eyes scrunched up in pleasure. “that’s–” he mumbles, getting up again to get lube and pull his boxers off, “that’s good, tell me—tell me what to do ‘s good.”
“oh?” jimin teases, hands easily finding rest on taehyung’s thighs straddling him again. his dick’s free now, and curved against his stomach, significantly bigger than jimin’s own, sort of pretty and already leaking precum. “oh,” he repeats, squeezing his trembling hands on taehyung’s thighs and enjoying the tiny sound he lets out when he squeezes lube on his fingers. “like that, taehyung?”
“y-es,” he hisses, head falling forward as he reaches behind himself and slowly pushes the first finger in. “yes, like—oh.”
“look at me, pretty,” jimin says softly, thumb stroking over the soft skin of his right thigh, and taehyung’s head immediately snaps up, eyes wide and staring into jimin’s. he’s always been quite the talker, words stumbling out to hide any nerves. “just like that, wanna see you. you’re so pretty, taehyung.”
“hhh.” taehyung whines, teeth digging into his bottom lip. when he pushes a second finger in, his mouth falls open and he lets out a soft sound. “ji-jimin.”
jimin’s mind shortcuts directly to blank static when he hears his own name like that, falling so cutely from taehyung’s pretty, pretty lips, and the hopeful look in his eyes does nothing but spin him further. he’s scared he’s trembling so swallows down harshly, tries softly, “how does it feel? tell me, wanna know.”
taehyung’s pushing back on his fingers, riding them messily and moaning at the feeling of it. “feels—good,” he mumbles, “god, not enough, not e–”
jimin wants to touch taehyung everywhere, wants to be the reason for all the noises he’s making. he reaches his hands behind him and squeezes his ass, smirks at the way he jumps from it and keens softly, nodding to himself. he does it again, then lets his hands run softly up his sides. “you’re so pretty, taehyung,” he praises. “look so cute.”
“please,” he mumbles, eyes closing and blinking open slowly. he seems to have found his own prostate, mouth hanging open and his eyebrows knitting, quiet moans stumbling out. “wanna—oh, wanna ride you. m-may i?”
he pinches his thigh and delights in the hiss he gets from it. “you want to ride me?”
“yes,” he mumbles, pushing his fingers in deeper again and groaning at it. “jimin, wanna—wanna show you how good i can be. i can be so good, i promise. ah, promise, i wanna—treat you real good, ‘s your first time like this, wanna show you–”
“baby,” jimin praises. he feels himself hard in his boxers, taehyung’s words spurring him on and filling up his mind with gorgeous images. “wanna make me feel good?”
taehyung nods immediately and quickly falls, “please. please, let me.”
“ride me, then,” he decides, right hand slapping taehyung’s ass but not harshly. taehyung smiles so brightly and pushes off to start tugging at jimin’s boxers. he lifts up his hips helpfully and taehyung throws the boxers on the floor, sucks in a breath and mouth curling into a happy smile when jimin’s cock is freed and curving against his stomach. his throat feels tight, anxious he won’t be good enough somehow.
“can i–” taehyung tries, clears his throat, “touch?”
jimin laughs, hand pushing through taehyung’s bangs. “cute. yes.”
“th-thank you.” taehyung sighs happily and wraps his hand around the length of jimin’s cock, jerking it off slowly.
his fist is tight around him, hands warm and much bigger than jimin’s own, so he can’t help but breathe out a stuttery moan and let his eyes close. taehyung is touching jimin’s dick and he might just pass out before he figures out a way to process that.
taehyung finds a condom and expertly rolls it onto jimin’s dick, then picks the lube back up and drizzles more into the palm of his hand and starts spreading over jimin. “your dick’s nice,” he mumbles. “you ever fucked someone’s face?”
jimin groans again, left hand coming up to push through his own hair. “mmm,” he says. “yeah, i’ve—a couple times.”
“d’you like it?” there’s no way to miss the hope in his tone, and jimin’s not about to let him down. “yeah,” he says, moaning again when taehyung pushes his finger into the slit of his cock. “yes, i liked it.”
taehyung looks dazed and nods to himself, straddles jimin’s thighs again. his hand’s at the base of jimin’s cock now and he’s hovering just above it, not sitting himself down. cheeks flushes, he mumbles, “may i?”
“of course,” jimin indulges, and immediately taehyung starts seating himself down. the instinct is to let his eyes fall shut, but jimin fights it to see taehyung’s face scrunching up and mouth falling open, quiet whimper falling out when he’s all seated. he’s still for a while, then slowly starts rocking his hips. jimin’s hands find their way to his hips, “you like asking for permission?”
taehyung’s eyes are still closed, but he nods at jimin’s question. “mm,” he gets out a little breathlessly, “mm, gotta—gotta earn it, a-and, mmm, yeah, i like—like to be good. y-you say when i can come, yes? please?”
jimin’s seconds from pinching his own arm just to check he’s really awake. he knows what he likes, though only played with it with women before, and between the things taehyung had let slip when drunk the other day and the way he’s acting now, it seems like taehyung enjoys the same things, though on the other end of the scale—which is almost too good to be true, too fucking perfect like a living wet dream, and outside of that he’s gorgeous and sweet, personality more than wonderful, so that’s the catch, obviously, that jimin’s newfound realisation of feelings might just go ahead and develop even more.
he shakes his head and focuses back on taehyung instead. “of course, baby,” he reassures, and the way he smiles so big and dazed at him is enough to keep him talking, “god, you look so good. feel so good, too.” letting his eyes roam over his body, broad chest and soft stomach, his eyes land on his dick, and it’s so big. way bigger than jimin’s own, so there’s just a stab of envy, but then his mouth opens again, nervous but trying his best, “and look at your pretty dick. you’re so big, taehyung.”
taehyung flushes and brings his hands up to cover his face, embarrassed suddenly. “shh,” he mumbles.
jimin reaches up and grabs his hands, pulling them away from his face. “don’t hide away,” he scolds, “you’re too pretty for that. such a pretty face, of course your cock’s pretty too, only makes sense. want me to jerk you off?”
taehyung whimpers, then nods slowly. “d’you–” his voice cracks, “want to?”
“god,” jimin groans, hand wrapping around the base of taehyung’s cock—except his fingers won’t reach around, hand too small for it. it’s a surreal experience to be touching someone else like this, only ever been this close to himself. “oh-oh,” he chuckles, biting down on his lip and looking up at taehyung. “look at this, taehyung? your dick’s so thick it won’t even fit in my hand.”
taehyung’s so red and whining quietly from embarrassment, but his dick’s leaking precum so steadily there’s no hiding he loves this treatment.
jimin starts jerking him off in the same rhythm as taehyung riding him. he’s a bit self-conscious and afraid of messing up, not doing it right, but he tries doing what he likes himself, and judging from the way taehyung’s moaning prettily it’s working fairly all right. he focuses on the head, because it’s most sensitive, and also it’s where his hand fits. he’s so caught up in making taehyung feel good he’s barely focusing on his own pleasure, but taehyung’s tight and wet around his cock, riding him fucking expertly. his head’s falling back again and again, and he brings his right hand up to play with a nipple, pulling at it and hissing out at the pleasure-pain of it.
jimin notices, of course, so follows his lead and with his free hand twists taehyung’s other nipple.
“jimin,” taehyung whines, pushing off jimin’s cock so it’s just catching on his rim and pushing back down harshly. “call me—call me messy.”
jimin pulls at his nipple again and digs his thumb into the slit of his cock. “messy?” he drawls, swiping up precum between his fingers and holding it up for taehyung to see. “that’s true,” he notes calmly. “oh, you’re really messy, taehyung. you’re leaking so much.”
taehyung whimpers, bounces on jimin’s cock and nods happily. his eyes are distant and dazedly cheery, cherry lips smiling as he nods to himself. he mumbles, “‘m so messy. so messy, but—but ‘m being good, ah, taking cock s’good.”
jimin knows he’s going to come soon, especially if taehyung keeps talking like that. “that’s right,” he reassures again, jerks taehyung’s dick off and then lets go of it so it slaps against his stomach. he fucks up into taehyung and he falters in his lap, cut-off moan of surprise stumbling out as he tries steadying himself. “god, take dick so good. ride me so good, taehyungie.”
it seems to only spur him on, riding jimin even more enthusiastically and soon taking to ask if he’s going to come soon. begs for it, to be allowed making jimin come. jimin’s losing his fucking mind.
“yeah, pretty,” he says, slaps his ass again, “gonna make me come soon. you wanna come too?”
“no, no,” he hums quickly, “n-no, you first, you—first.”
“oh.” jimin splays his hands on taehyung’s stomach and caresses him softly. his skin’s supple and soft, tummy so cute. “a bit demanding?”
“sorry,” taehyung mumbles, pushing down and clenching around jimin’s cock, “s-sorry, just—please, and can you–”
jimin tilts his head, bucks his hips up and catches taehyung off-guard again. he grins at him, then calms his voice, “can i what?”
taehyung turns red in humiliation. “can you,” he mumbles, looking down, “can we switch around and you can—can come on me? please, wanna see it.”
jimin’s eyes close again and he bites down another groan. “jesus,” he mumbles, “christ.”
taehyung stays quiet and continues fucking himself on jimin’s cock, then jimin’s finally regained his mind and pulls at taehyung’s nipple sharply. “you’re fucking messy, taehyung,” he says, “all right, get off and lie down. let me get myself off on you.”
taehyung’s mouth stretches into his trademark boxy smile, grinning so happy at jimin. wordlessly, he pushes off, though whines a little when he’s empty, but then lies down on his back and smiles up at jimin. “thank you,” he mumbles, “thank you s’much, jiminie, please come on me, please.”
jimin straddles his thighs and pulls the condom off, wraps his hand around his cock and groans at the friction of it as he starts jerking himself off slowly. “fuck,” he mumbles, fucking into his own fist. though it’s tempting to close his eyes, he can’t even do it, so focused and in awe of taehyung on display beneath him, cheeks so flushed and eyes desperately focused on jimin’s hand around his own cock. “fuck, gonna come, taehyung. gonna, ah, f-fuck.”
he comes then, jerking himself through it and painting taehyung’s stomach with white stripes. it looks filthy, and the long moan taehyung lets out furthers that image, the tiny, whimpered thank you he breathes out as he brings his own fingers up to drag through it. his cock’s still hard too, obviously, curved against his stomach and still leaking, so his own precum’s mixing with jimin’s cum, skin stained with it.
taehyung looks up at him, bottom lip wobbling slightly. “can i–” he begins, steadies his breathing. “i really wanna come, jiminie, really bad.”
“oh?” jimin teases, regaining posture and wrapping his fingers in a circle around the head of taehyung’s cock. “that so?” remembering taehyung’s words from earlier, he goes on, “but have you earned it? you’ve been good?”
taehyung shudders and nods slowly, whispers, “have i? have you—felt good?”
jimin leans down to kiss him softly. starting to jerk him off softly, he reassures, “yes, pretty thing. you’ve made me feel so good, been really perfect. you can come now, yeah? gonna make a goddamn mess of yourself, aren’t you, baby?”
taehyung whimpers and nods his head desperately. “y-yeah, g’na–” the words fall together and turn into incoherent gurgling, then he breathes in deeply and tries again, “gonna—mmjimin, ‘m gonna c-come all over myself—please.”
falling apart with a high-pitched keen, his cock pulsates in jimin’s hand and spurts cum all over his stomach. quickly, jimin’s not sure what had been his own and what’s taehyung’s, which gets to him more than it should.
taehyung breathes heavily, whines out when jimin keeps playing with his dick even after he’s soft. he lets go, and taehyung grabs him by the wrist and pulls him forward so he lands on top of him, sweaty chest to sweaty chest. jimin feels the cum stick to his own stomach too now, groans because of it.
“how was that?” taehyung asks, playing his fingers through jimin’s hair. “how’re you feeling?”
“that,” jimin starts, “was great. you’re cute.”
taehyung blushes at the compliment and bats at his shoulder. “shut up,” he mumbles. “it was okay, though? like, first time and all that.”
jimin rolls his eyes, though he supposes it’s actually thoughtful the way taehyung keeps bringing it up. “it was great,” he reassures. “really hot. felt really great. to think i ever believed i was straight,” he adds, shaking his head a little.
“dude, for real,” taehyung laughs. “damn, my ass must be hot if it made you convert.”
jimin laughs with him and pushes at his shoulder, mumbling something along the lines of you’re so full of yourself dumbass but there’s the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he’s not entirely off. taehyung really has been the catalyst.
“well,” jimin says with a chance of tone, suddenly keenly aware of his surroundings and the way they’re both still naked and almost cuddling. keenly aware of how he thinks he’d really like to cuddle up with taehyung, maybe kiss a little more, but that’s veering into friends that are also boyfriends area, and taehyung and jimin are only (and even only recently so) in friends with benefits area. he goes on, “i have jizz all over me and feel disgusting, so.”
taehyung laughs and pushes at his chest so jimin rolls over and out of bed to get cleaned up. he goes for kleenex now, will shower properly at his own place, and pulls on his jeans and t-shirt again.
“you’re not staying?” taehyung asks. neutral and calm, like jimin should be but isn’t.
“uh, nah,” he says lamely. “homework.”
“okay.” taehyung yawns and rolls over. “well, good luck with that. see you later.”
at his own place, he gets in the shower, and stays there for nine entire songs. he keeps the water scalding for a long time, then switches to the coldest setting, and when getting out he dries himself off as roughly as possible. not sure why, but it’s good with any kind of physical stimulation, reminding himself that he’s not only alive, but awake as well.
the rundown is:
- he has a crush on taehyung.
- taehyung’s a boy, and jimin’s a boy, and jimin’s a bisexual boy. and he:
- has a crush on taehyung.
- he’s just fucked taehyung.
- he’s just fucked taehyung, a decision made that they’ve altered their friendship to include benefits which means that:
- he’s going to fuck taehyung again. presumably. hopefully.
- taehyung whom he has a crush on.
- and who’s really, really hot when he comes, face flushed and voice broken and begging, and:
- he’s losing his mind.
he pulls on workout wear and goes for a long run, mind in overdrive. he’s never been in a situation like this before, so he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to deal with it.
he thinks, actually, that maybe he’s not really supposed to think there’s anything to ‘deal with.’ people hook up all the time. people sleep with their friends all the time without it changing anything. there’s a name for this kind of thing, a label to throw on that type of relationship, so it’s not at all uncommon. it just is—so there’s no reason for jimin to work himself up about it.
he’ll find a way to repress the feelings so he can keep taehyung as his friend.
coming back and almost collapsing, clothes clinging to his sweaty body, he wants to cry. it’s a delirious mindset, and he can’t pin it down to any specific reason—he’s not sad, it’s not that, his eyes are just burning and he’s so out of it it’s the only action he can think of.
but if there’s one thing more pathetic than crying over a boy that doesn’t like you back, it’s being past 22 and crying over a boy that doesn’t like you back. and it’s not even taehyung not liking him back that’s making him want to cry, is the thing. it’s just sort of everything, coming crashing down and punching the breath out of him, so he pulls his t-shirt off roughly, cursing too loudly when his elbows get stuck in the fabric, and gets into the shower again.
dressed in his softest sweatpants and a white tee for sleeping, he crawls into bed and pulls out his phone. there’s a couple new texts from taehyung, and despite all the mess in his mind, it still manages to make him smile. he considers the contact name for a second though, quickly scrolling through to change it again. his fingers hover over the keyboard for a second before settling,
hey, i hope this isnt awkward but i just wanna check:
were still okay, right?
like, u didnt leave bc i made u uncomfortable or smth?
im gna be honest n say ur hot as FUCK + ur dicks amazing like…
a lil unsure im not dreaming haha im still dizzy
but i just wanna make it clear we dont have to fuck / be fwb if u dont wanna!!!!
ahhhh am i making everything worse idkkk im sorry
just…its up to u ok?? n its cool either way were good were friends!!!
he takes a long moment rereading and trying to figure out how to respond, cheeks heating up pink when thinking it over too much. finally he settles,
u didnt make me uncomfortable at all tae!!
ur rly hot too hehe n yeah it was rly nice + good first time n all that
i trust u
taehyung gets back to him within seconds, little speech bubble popping up immediately to show he’s typing.
aahhh good!!!!!!! i was rly worried
but i trust u too omg!!!
ur still dizzy, huh?
fuck u fuck off
i want u to fuck my face next time
oh, we can definitely arrange that
do u think mark will let me join his band if i drop out
whatre u gonna do? rap?
taehyung u cant rap for shit
thats fucking rude asshole thanks for ruining my dreams
i can play the sax
ur such a dumbass
why r u gonna drop out??
bc ive discovered im just too beautiful to go to school
i think i was destined for a life elsewhere
on a vogue cover, maybe
or in a band
as true as all of this is,
whats ur essay on lol
the pre-raphaelite brotherhood
im literally not kidding abt the fucking band
im so sorry
sends u good vibes
thank u ur an angel honestly
but will u let me suck ur dick or what
not asking for a friend im asking for myself
it can be like motivation or smth
do it for her (jimins dick)
do u have any shame at all
is that a real question
ill let u suck my dick
write ur essay then come over later
oh god ok ur the best
ur saving my grades bro
jimin puts his phone down and pulls up books instead, has a bunch of homework to do himself as well. chemistry, as always, because his professor’s still an asshole with nothing better to do than make jimin’s life shit, and some math, but not so much because he’d gotten a headstart the other day. he pours a glass of water real quick, then sits down and gets cracking.
he gets a lot done before taehyung blows his phone up again, hours later with a bunch of relieved-looking emojis and a capitalised:
I’M FREE I DID IT IM A GOOD BOY!!!
im coming over NOW!!!
jimin grins at his enthusiasm, and figuring he’s done all right for the day as well and it’s nearing evening, he packs his books up and tidies up quickly just to pass the time.
taehyung knocks raptly on the door, and all but jumps inside when jimin opens the door. “i have literally never hated an essay topic more than i did this one,” he starts rambling as he makes it to the kitchen section. he pulls a glass out of a cupboard and takes juice from the fridge. hauls himself up to sit on the counter and takes a drink, “it was awful. i had to do ten pages. on the pre-raphaelites. jesus christ.”
jimin laughs at him, amused by taehyung’s wild gesticulating. “but you did it!”
“i did,” taehyung agrees solemnly. “and i even proofread it. it’s now submitted and sent into cyberspace and i will never look at it ever again.”
“i’m proud of you,” jimin offers, shooting a softer smile. he’s ignoring the domesticity of the scene, taehyung coming in and helping himself to the fridge, sprawling himself on the kitchen counter and complaining. “you did well.”
taehyung downs a big gulp of his juice, licks at his lips as he sets the glass down. “i don’t think i did,” he says, but doesn’t sound too bothered. “but it’s whatever, it’s done. now come here and let me kiss you.”
jimin chuckles quietly, then steps closer and stands in front of taehyung. taehyung’s legs hook around him instantly and he leans his head down to press his mouth to jimin’s, jimin kissing him back easily and letting his hand come up to curl at the back of his neck.
taehyung’s eager immediately, lips parting and licking into jimin’s mouth messily. he gets whiny quickly, too, humming as he trails open-mouthed kisses down jimin’s jawline. he pulls his head away slightly but presses closer with his body, “carry me.”
“huh?” jimin mumbles against his collarbone where he’s sucking a hickey.
“please,” taehyung amends, “carry me. to your bed, unless you wanna fuck here. you’re s’strong.”
jimin smiles against his skin and hooks his hands under taehyung’s ass, lifting him up from the counter effortlessly. “like this?”
taehyung whines again, unabashed this time, nodding his head. “yeah, yeah,” he says, “mm, oh my god. d’you think you can fuck me against the wall?”
jimin groans at his words, starts carrying him back towards his bedroom. “mm, maybe,” he considers, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. “one day. as a treat.”
taehyung sighs happily and smiles up at jimin when he sets him down on the edge of the bed. “lemme suck you off,” he says, hands coming up to paw his thighs, grabs for the zipper to get him out of his pants. “y’said—said i could suck your dick, god, lemme—please, lemme–”
jimin pushes his hand through taehyung’s hair and smiles down at him. “yeah, pretty,” he says, trails his finger down the side of his face and grabs his chin to tilt his head up. “already begging. cute.”
taehyung just whines again, head nodding on its own, and finally he gets the jeans unzipped and pushed down jimin’s thighs. he sighs and mouths at his cock through his boxers, little whines already falling out.
jimin’s grip in his hair tightens and he pulls his head back. taehyung blinks up at him slowly, whispers again, “please. please, wanna suck you off.”
jimin lets out a little laugh, mocking because he knows it’s what taehyung loves, and boops his finger to his nose. “let me get out of my underwear,” he says. he lets go of his hair but taehyung waits obediently, mouth falling open as jimin pushes his boxers down his thighs, cock freed and already hard. taehyung gets to him so goddamn bad so quickly.
taehyung’s eyes are squinting, focused on the head of his dick, and he licks his lips slightly. “m-may i?” he mumbles, not even looking up at jimin’s face. “please, jimin.”
“of course,” he says, and it doesn’t take a second till taehyung wraps his lips around the head of his cock, hollowing his cheeks and digging his tongue into the slit. taehyung’s messy about it, bobbing up and down and kissing all over, gurgling sounds and lots of spit everywhere. he closes his eyes in focus and looks to lose himself in it, only moaning when jimin pushes his hand through his hair and tugs at it.
he pulls off with a loud pop, a string of saliva connecting his bottom lip to jimin’s cock, and looks up at jimin through his lashes. “can you–” he rasps, coughs and pauses to lick a stripe across the head again, hand wrapped around the base. “y’said…said you like face-fucking, can you please—please fuck my face?”
“fuck.” he tugs on taehyung’s hair again. “that’s filthy, taehyung. wanna get your throat fucked?”
taehyung sniffles and nods up at jimin. “i’ve been good,” he says, gnawing at his shiny lips, puffy and red, fucking cocksucker lips, always haunting jimin both asleep and awake, stretched out around his dick. he mumbles again, “please.”
“you have,” jimin agrees, “been good. let me treat you good.”
taehyung lets out the happiest sigh, eyelids fluttering close in content. he leans into jimin’s hand and opens his mouth, tongue hanging out cutely. he hums, and jimin wraps his hand around his dick and jerks it slowly a couple of times, taps it against taehyung’s tongue and chuckles when he whines. then he gives him what he wants, fucks into his mouth experimentally, slow and careful at first.
taehyung whines and lets out a slurping noise as jimin bottoms out again, fucks in all over and he groans at the wet heat of taehyung’s mouth, how he’s drooling all over himself and keening softly. taehyung’s sloppy and moaning, eyes rolling back as jimin fucks his mouth more roughly, all in till he can see the outline of his dick in his throat, bulging, and that makes him pull all out and stay still to not come on the spot.
taehyung whimpers, blinking open and looking up at jimin. his voice is raspy, “you—stopped?”
jimin regains his posture, acts unaffected and hooks two fingers in taehyung’s mouth. “i did,” he says calmly. “wanna play more with you, yeah? what d’you think?”
he pulls his fingers out of his mouth, smears spit on his cheek, and taehyung whines at him, nodding a little dumb. “please,” he says. “yeah. i wanna—god, be played with. you’ll play with me?”
jimin pushes him back onto the bed and leans down to kiss him. “mm,” he agrees. “if you want me to. how d’you want me to?”
“i–” taehyung begins, eyes closing again as he leans up to kiss jimin another time. one time turns into two turns into five, and soon they’re making out lazily, jimin on top of him and hands curled around his face. taehyung blinks, “i want…i like humiliation. you do, too, right? from how you’re talking…i think you like it. it’s hot.”
jimin smiles, “yeah,” he agrees, kisses his nose. “i like it. wanna be my dumb toy?”
taehyung goes starry-eyed, eyebrows knitting together and a soft sigh falling out. “oh.” a pause, then, “my god, yeah. yes. you’re s’good.”
“mmm,” jimin hums non-committally. “anything else, tae?”
“just…” he mumbles. “no, i don’t know. use me.”
jimin’s breath is knocked out, but he manages to stay looking unaffected. head tilting to the side slightly, he nods at him. “mm, okay,” he agrees. “sucked my dick so good, baby boy. wanna be rewarded? can i finger you?”
taehyung nods, smiles dazedly at him. “please.”
jimin stands up and shuffles his pants and underwear off properly, pulls his shirt over his head as well, then kneels down in front of taehyung to start working him out of his clothes, too. he’s in a basic outfit today, a nice, pleated skirt and a grey t-shirt, so it’s easy getting it off when taehyung bucks his hips up helpfully. his hands still for a second as he takes in the wine-red satin panties, mouth drying a little. “oh?”
taehyung flushes, eyes shying away to the side. “they’re nice,” he says, voice quiet. “feels good.”
“they’re pretty, sweetheart,” jimin reassures, index finger hooking under the elastic band and making it snap against taehyung’s skin. “looks good on you. pretty.”
taehyung hums happily and squirms when jimin starts pulling them off slowly, teasing him. whimpers and flushes even more when jimin takes his dick in his hand with a little laugh, pointing out his size again, “you’re really so big, taehyung. i want you to fuck me one day, how’d you like that? think you can do that?”
taehyung sniffles, then nods slowly. “mmyes,” he says. “if you—want me to, i’ll…do my best.”
jimin hums contentedly, jerking taehyung’s dick slowly. “that sounds nice, baby,” he praises. “so good and big, i’m sure you’ll stretch me out so well.”
“please,” taehyung whines, hands covering his face. “‘s embarrassing.”
“oh?” jimin teases, thumb digging into the slit. “don’t be embarrassed, pretty.”
taehyung just whimpers again, and jimin offers another little laugh. then he lets go of his cock and gets back up to grab lube and condoms, kept in his bedside table because he’s nothing if not a cliché. it’s just easy—it’s where people go to instinctively look anyway. he kneels back down on the bed and tells taehyung to spread his legs, which he does immediately and with a happy sigh, then jimin pops open his bottle of lube and pours some into his palm. he warms it up in-between his hands and coats his fingers, steadies his breathing as he grabs taehyung’s thigh with one hand.
since all the discoveries he’s made about himself the last months, he’s branched out and watched different porn as well as tried fingering himself. still, he’s never done it for anyone else, so he’s terrifyingly nervous.
“please.” taehyung’s voice is whiny, but fond through it. “please, jiminie. you’ll do fine. want it really bad.”
jimin exhales slowly and nods, “okay,” then presses the pad of his index finger against taehyung’s hole, waits a second before pressing in. he hums happily as he starts fingering him slowly, just one finger to begin with because he’s scared of hurting him, even though he’s read up on everything and knows fingering isn’t even necessary prior to penetration and taehyung should be able to handle it, still, the fear is almost all-consuming. when taehyung starts nodding and rambling again, begging really cute for more, he adds another finger, fucks into him experimentally and tries locating his prostate. it takes time to find it, but finally taehyung sobs out yes and he figures that must be it, focuses the pads of both fingers to rub circles there, and judging from taehyung’s moans, he’s doing okay. he pulls out and fucks in harshly, smiling to himself when taehyung whines out and his hips twitch a little. “you sound so cute right now,” he praises, thumb of free hand stroking his hipbone. “you hear yourself?”
“ah-ah,” taehyung mumbles, head nodding and trying to push further down on jimin’s fingers. “‘m—sometimes i—i’ve done recordings. before, me getting off. audios.”
“oh?” jimin says. “why’s that?”
taehyung cries out. “because,” he whispers, face flushed, “i like to—mm, i l-like to, jimin, can you call me a slut? wanna be s-ah, ‘m s’dirty, please.”
jimin thanks all his selves in past lives for apparently all having been goddamn saints, somehow making him blessed enough to experience this. right now he’s not even sad taehyung isn’t his boyfriend, just feeling so grateful he gets to live in this moment at all, taehyung spread out and gorgeous, whining exactly like in every dream. maybe even better than in any dream, too good to be true.
he pulls his fingers out and wipes them on his hipbone. “slut baby,” he says neutrally, doesn’t give away how affected he is. “d’you wanna get fucked?”
“oh, please,” he says immediately, nodding to stress his point. “oh, please, yes. yes, yes. fuck me, jimin.”
“oh, i’ll fuck you then.” he rips open the condom package and slides it on, slicks himself up with more lube before lining himself up and slowly sliding into taehyung. taehyung’s entire body freezes up and his mouth’s caught wide open as jimin holds still, fully pressed inside.
“o-ah,” he groans, starts nodding and lets his eyes blink open again to catch jimin’s gaze. “you can—mm, will you move? please?”
jimin hums in consideration, then slowly bottoms out and thrusts back in slowly. taehyung sucks him in like he was fucking born to take cock, and his moans are deep and guttural, starts sniffling when jimin starts thrusting more roughly. “o-oh, oh, yes,” he starts, clenching his fingers in the sheets, “yes, yes, yes, jimin, that’s—mmgod.”
jimin grabs him by the hips to keep him steady, fucks into him sharply. “god, tae,” he says. “god, should see yourself. all flushed and pretty, how’s it feel? feel full?”
“mm.” taehyung hums for a moment and nods, face lit up by the brightest smile. he lets go of the sheets with both hands and lets them find rest on his stomach, pressing down and moaning lewdly when jimin fucks in again and his fingers press on the bulge. “o-oh, god, ‘m so full, fuckin’—slut.”
“that’s right,” jimin agrees, groaning as he bottoms out and thrusts all the way in again. “god, fucking filthy, taehyung. tell me how you feel, tell me everything.”
“hhh,” taehyung whines, eyes rolling back as he gives his tummy another press. “feel s’good,” he starts, voice coming slow, “jiminie’s making me feel s’good. so full, just a—mm ‘m a toy, yes, good toy, and i’m—oh, i’m taking cock, ‘m good, ‘m good, feel good! jiminie, fuck me so good, ah. ah.”
groans again as taehyung clenches around him, hands scrambling and grasping onto the sheets again. “you are,” jimin agrees, his turn to press down on taehyung’s stomach now. “fucking made to take dick, pretty thing. god, and look at your own cock, so red and bouncing. wanna come, huh?”
“yes,” he whines high-pitched. “yes. really bad, ah.”
jimin wraps his hand around the head of his cock and gives a squeeze, grins when taehyung’s hips jump and he whimpers out loud. “let’s think about it, right?”
taehyung moans low in his throat, and nods obediently as jimin keeps playing with his cock and fucking him roughly. taehyung keeps whining quietly at the constant stimulation, sometimes slipping in a please or jimin, but otherwise just mindless noise; cute and gorgeously flushed, eyes glazed over and tongue lolling out. he’s drooling, too, making a goddamn mess of himself and the pillow underneath.
jimin’s close to coming himself, and his voice is tumbling low, low, low, when he gets out, “mm, how d’you feel about overstimulation, taehyung?”
taehyung’s eyes roll back. “oh,” he says. “yes. please.”
jimin grins. he’d figured that’d be his response, but hearing it is another thing, and communication is always important. he goes on, “oh, then i want you to come. and then i’ll come after, how’s that sound?”
taehyung whimpers. nods, “o-okay. i’ll be good.”
jimin flicks his wrist and focuses attention on the head of taehyung’s cock, fucks in sharply and angles to hit taehyung’s prostate. it’s quick work, keeps playing with his pretty, leaking dick, and soon taehyung’s body freezes up and he trembles, painting white streaks all over his stomach. he trashes on the sheets as jimin keeps fucking him, eyes rolling shut and a dumb noise stumbling out of his mouth, whimpers as he’s fucked over.
“jimin, jimin, jimin,” he falls, hands gripping jimin’s upper arms and holding on, thighs trembling. “jimin, ah.”
“mmm, baby,” jimin says softly, though his voice is rough, “gonna come soon, yeah? make me come, don’t you wanna be good?”
he cries, nods his head as he sobs. “yes,” and again, “yes, pl-please. please, lemme make you come, jimin. s’good, ah.”
it doesn’t take long for jimin to come after that, taehyung continuing to whimper so pliantly, clenching around his cock whenever he fucks all the way in. he groans, low and throaty, when it hits him, body locking up as cum spurts into the condom, and he stays still for a moment before pulling out slowly. tying off the condom, he aims for the bin, and flops down next to taehyung.
taehyung blinks up at him, sated and soft. he’s slightly glowing, a string of dried drool on his chin.
“you did so well,” jimin says, pulling taehyung close and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “so, so good. amazing.”
“mm,” taehyung hums happily, nuzzling closer to jimin. “thank you. so did you, ah. ‘m still—soft.”
“yes,” jimin agrees, kissing him again. “the softest. let me wipe you down.”
taehyung nods his assent, and jimin gets up, moves to the small bathroom to run a washcloth under the warm water. he brings it back with a glass of water as well and quickly wipes himself clean, then kneels down and gently cleans taehyung off. he throws the cloth aside and makes taehyung drink some water before he lies down next to him, pulling him close to his chest.
“god, you’re really so hot,” taehyung mumbles. “when you talk. you drop me so good.”
jimin smiles into his skin and presses a soft kiss to his collarbone. “oh, i thought of something. and i’m sorry if this is, like, weird, or i’m overstepping, but anyway. i like a simple colour system as safe word, if you’re good with that?”
taehyung nods. “yes,” he agrees easily, stifles a yawn. “it’s easy. works well. i was gonna bring it up, but i didn’t wanna, like, scare you off.”
jimin laughs, kisses his nose again. “no, it’s good. i’m not scaring you off, though?”
“no.” he flushes a little embarrassed at the quickness of his response, repeats a little calmer, “no. no, oh my god. uh, i think…it’s probably pretty clear that i’m, well, into some kinda things. but you’re–” he blinks up at jimin, “you are, too, right? so it’s good, deciding a safe word.”
jimin nods agreement. “yes,” he says. “yes, i am. i like to dom my partner. so.”
taehyung’s eyes close again and he lets out a soft little whine, a sigh of content. “god, i’m so—how’d i get this lucky?”
jimin just laughs, pulls him in for another tight hug and presses a soft kiss to his head.
god im sooo tired
done for the day tho!! & only have one afternoon class tmrw
so thats nice!
how r u!!
wanna come over for cuddles?
we can fall asleep watching mulan or smth
that sounds…rly nice
u dont have plans?
none at all!!!!
come over theres lotsa space in my bed
jimin sighs out happily, quickly packs his toothbrush and skincare products, an oversized t-shirt and makes it to taehyung’s room as fast as possible.
“hey,” he smiles widely, leaning into taehyung’s shoulder when he hugs him. “hi, jeongguk!”
“jiminie hyung,” jeongguk grins from where he’s lying spread out on his bed playing candy crush on his phone.
“you look tired,” taehyung says, holding jimin out in front of him and taking in his appearance. “still hot, but tired.”
jimin pushes at his chest. “shut up. i am.”
“you’ve come to the right place then.” taehyung pulls him closer and pushes both of them down on the bed, easily letting their bodies melt into one another and relax. jimin rests his head on taehyung’s chest and almost purrs in content as he starts carding his fingers through his hair gently, breathing soft and even.
“wanna put on something to watch?” he asks after a moment, voice so deep, and jimin sighs at the way his chest moves slightly.
“nah,” he mumbles. “unless you wanna. ‘m gonna fall asleep pro’bly.”
“you’re cute,” taehyung says, voice teasing. the way he’s ruffling jimin’s hair is really sleep-inducing, jimin feeling his eyes start closing, and can’t really find the energy to fight it. “so cute, jiminie. you’re falling asleep. d’you wanna get out of your pants?”
“mmm,” jimin hums non-committally, barely registering taehyung’s words properly.
taehyung shakes out a laugh, then pushes jimin off him gently and rolls out from under him. “i’m gonna take your jeans off, okay? or else you’ll kill me when you wake up.”
“mm-kay,” he sighs as taehyung starts tugging at his jeans, rolls over on his side again. he holds his arms up and makes grabby hands for taehyung, “come back. hug me.”
“is he always like this?” jeongguk’s voice comes from the side. “seems a little needy. suppose you balance each other out.”
jimin hears taehyung’s laughter, loud and vibrant, and he answers jeongguk easily, “we’re good for each other, you’re right,” and then the bed dips as taehyung crawls back in beside him and pulls him close again. he mumbles into his hair, “there you go.”
“mm,” jimin sighs. “i’ve class tom’row. but ‘s late. ‘m gonna sleep now, taehyungie.”
“good,” taehyung says, and jimin thinks he feels the faint pressure of a kiss to the crown of his head, but he might be imagining it. “sleep, jiminie.”
imm kindadrunk a lil bit hehehe it feels niice just wanna tell u ur the best bro!!!!!!!!
jiminie diminie imgladd ur my friend hehe love u so much!!!!!
jimin’s heart skips a beat in his chest, and it’s feeling a mixture of sorrow and happiness, amused endearment, he bites down on his bottom lip and rereads it four times.
hehe im glad ur my friend too taehyungie
no i mean it!!!!!!!!!!!!
ur sooooooo good jiminie
thank u soooo much for being my friend
also thbakk u for letting me get dick hahaha
im a lil horny too heh hOWRE UU UU!!!!
do u misss meee!!!!!!
i miss uuuyouuuu!!!!
yeah i miss u taehyung
always miss u haha
how r u
im s osoo osoooo gooooodd
rlyy soft n happy hehe jeonggukies also here
my fRIEND!!! m sglad hes my frined too
u r soooooogood ahhh dud m drunk ahhahaahha
jimin’s heart is hurting, whilst also feeling so, so good. the fact that he’s the person taehyung thinks of when drunk and clingy is getting to him more than it probably ought to, and all the hearts and love declarations are making everything spin for him. he knows taehyung’s just an affectionate person, has a big heart full of love, and he’s generous with that love—right now just telling jimin he’s loved as a friend. it breaks his heart because jimin thinks he might be falling in love with taehyung, way past a simple crush, and it aches he doesn’t feel the same, especially when he’s this open with his love, saying the word over and over and shooting him heart and kiss emojis. all the same, jimin feels grateful.
were glad ur our friend too tae
ur super great the best and i love u too
all things considered, nothing really changes that much the next month or two. taehyung still blows his phone up with cute selfies and pictures of the sunset; they still spend friday nights binge watching trashy flicks on netflix and cartoons from their childhood. they complain about everything being a college student involves: loads of homework to do and early morning classes, annoying professors and classmates that just won’t shut the fuck up. jimin goes grocery shopping and gets his favourite orange juice, even brings taehyung a couple of times and lets him race him in the shopping trolley. their friendship only grows stronger, getting even tighter than jimin thinks he’s ever been with anyone before, and on top of that, they fuck. to relieve stress sometimes, just for fun, because it feels good and it’s nice—one time, jimin sits back and lets taehyung work himself through a couple of his toys, looks bored as he works hard for his attention. another time he ties him up and overstimulates him till he can’t even moan anymore, just gurgling mindlessly and pleading for jimin to let him come again.
things are good.
things are pretty great, actually, especially if you ignore how jimin’s feelings have done nothing but multiply ridiculously, now so desperately in love with taehyung he’s sure the entire world must know. it doesn’t help that taehyung’s taehyung—that he’ll send cute morning selfies taken in bed, looking so soft and messy-haired, captioning them with miss u and a sparkly heart. it feels like flirting, sometimes, but he’s the same with jeongguk, and, really, everyone else—it’s just how he is. jimin’s gotten used to the near-constant ache in his heart, almost doesn’t pay attention to it anymore, except when it’s late at night and he’s alone and everything just gets a little too much. then he’ll think of it, sometimes almost cry, feeling so terribly lonely—images of holding his hand, take him out for real; go to a café, maybe, or just the movies, something awfully cliché, but obviously a date, and he wants it. wants it so bad. wants taehyung so bad.
then the guilt will come and eat him alive, because he’s got taehyung—he’s getting his friendship, even sex, so he ought to be happy and satisfied with that. but jimin’s so selfish, always wanting more, showing taehyung in all the little ways, while also trying to be subtle and keep it hidden, but he can’t help letting his hand linger for just a second when handing something over, hugging just a moment too long when greeting him.
he’s almost given up on moving on. it’s awful, really, but it’s too hard—can’t even imagine not loving taehyung, and feels awful for it. he’s at a point where he figures maybe he can just deal with it like this, just continue to quietly pine, and make peace (because he needs to make peace) with being content and grateful for what he’s got. because he’s got a lot, and he shouldn’t be so goddamn selfish.
do u have keys to ur dance studio??
sure?? super fascinating i guess
whats up dude
feel free to shut me down ANY TIME
i was just thinking, u know
do u wanna fuck there?
SORRY IF ITS WEIRD
i just thought like………the mirrors
would be rly hot
but sorry if its weird omg im dumb
im definitely interested
god im gonna drop right now fuck
not now please
im gonna see what i can do
and see what he can do, he does. the studio’s a good one, works with a system where you can book one of the rooms for a set time, so planning with taehyung, he books a couple hours a friday evening. it’s a good time slot, most other people for once choosing freedom and a club over another three hours rehearsal, so the studio’s pretty empty, and they’ve put up the occupied sign and locked the door. nobody will disturb—or be disturbed.
so now he’s got taehyung pressed against the mirror, fucked open on jimin’s cock like it’s what he was born to do. cheek squeezed against the cold glass, his eyes are closed shut and he’s reduced to babbling goddamn nonsense, not even any words jimin can understand. “o-oh ohmmyg–”
jimin stays quiet, manhandles taehyung by the hips and lets him all but bounce back down on him, whole body trembling. his feet are curling and he chokes on a hiccup, eyes rolling further back as he gets out another plea.
he’s always so easily reduced to a mess, drools and leaks from everywhere, wet and sloppy like he likes to be. whines again, tongue coming out to lick across his lips slowly.
“open your eyes,” jimin demands, one hand fisting in his hair and pulling, neck pulled back and head twisted. in the mirror, he sees him blink open, and his eyes are—fucked-out, glazed over and he looks dizzy, sees how they flicker and widen when he takes in himself like this: flushed and panting, taking cock on display. he licks his lips, whimpers, and his eyes stay open so wide, not even blinking.
“oh,” jimin’s voice is gleeful, smirk forming all on its own. he brings his hand down on taehyung’s ass in a spank, fucks into him again. “you like that, huh? fucking wrecked, baby.”
“mm,” taehyung pants out an affirmative, nodding enthusiastically. his mouth stays open and his dick twitches again, eyes so intent on their reflection. “mmgod. you’re—s’hot. fuckin’ me.”
jimin cards his hand through his hair softly, then juxtaposes it quickly with another slap and grabbing him roughly by the hips, fucks up meanly. “look at yourself,” he says, thumb stroking over his skin, going to dig into the small of his back to make it arch so prettily, “you like seeing yourself like this? you’re so pretty, taehyung. take dick so good, huh? fucking–” he stresses, bottoms out to thrust in again, “made for it.”
“hhh,” taehyung’s nothing but whimpers by now. he keeps his eyes on their reflected image, flickering and widening, gnawing at his lip as jmin fucks him pliant. “hhhs’good. g-god, jimin, i can see–”
“yeah, baby,” jimin’s voice is composed in comparison, calm and comforting. taehyung’s safe to fall apart because jimin’s got him, hands held out in a security net beneath him and ready to catch as he falls, going to keep him safe and build him back up. “you can see. how’s it look? fucking—slut, baby, watching yourself, getting off to it. you are, aren’t you?” he laughs as taehyung’s dick jumps again, precum dribbling out steadily, “oh, you are. don’t be shy, pretty. you do look good.”
taehyung’s eyes roll back, but soon he blinks again to try focusing. “hh,” he whimpers, “hhh’s embarrassing, s-but, o-ohah.”
jimin reaches out to play with taehyung’s cock, grinning as he whimpers and bucks his hips uselessly. he just toys with two fingers at the head, dragging through the precum and bringing his hand up for both of them to see in the mirror. he leans closer and whispers into his ear, “look at this, tae.”
“you’re so sloppy,” he says calmly, shoves two fingers between taehyung’s lips for him to lick messily at. he moans at it, eyes rolling back again. “how’s it taste, pretty? got you so fucking wet, looking at yourself. what wouldn’t people think?”
he whines around his fingers, tongueing messily till he’s drooling more, leaning his head forward to rest against the mirror. “ogod,” he tries, voice garbled, whimpers as jimin angles his hips just right again, “g-god, ‘m—jimin, i’m—hhh.”
“it’s okay, pretty,” jimin reassures, pulling his fingers out of his mouth again. he smears off the spit on his cheek, then softly runs it down the side of his body, gently caressing his soft skin. “i’ll take so good care of you. it’s okay, you can think you look good like this—you do, you look perfect, taehyung, you like it, don’t you? like cock, like getting fucked dumb and open?”
“y-yes,” he rasps, nodding enthusiastically. his thighs are trembling terribly now, fighting to stay standing, and he falls forward onto the mirror, arms held up beside him with his palms pressed flat to the cold surface. “oh, god, l-love it. ‘m fucking—oh, god, fuck me. fuck me, jimin, please.”
he coos, but gives him what he wants. he’s grateful for the workout routine and hours and hours spent in the studio, stamina perfect for edging and playing with taehyung for hours. it’s filthy loud as he fucks him, sounds of skin slapping reverberating off the walls till jimin thinks he might drown in them, drown in taehyung, not joking when he says he was made for this; looks like a goddamn masterpiece, and feels better than anything else, perfectly tight and clenching desperately, and the sounds he keeps letting out—god.
“jimin, jimin, jimin,” breaks off in a soundless whimper, caught just at the back of his mouth. “g-god, can i—come, ah, please, ‘m s’close.”
“if you want to come now,” jimin says, voice guttural, “it’ll be from just this. you can’t touch yourself, taehyung.”
he whimpers, nods slowly. “g-god, please.”
“d’you want to come, baby?” he teases, splays his hand on his stomach and trails a line around where his cock’s curved, not touching. he twitches pathetically, desperate, but jimin just laughs. “come on, baby. i’ll count down.”
he starts the count at ten, fucks into him once for every number, and by three taehyung freezes up and comes all over himself, untouched and desperate. jimin smirks at him in the mirror and grabs his hips again, pulls him closer and fucks him hard and fast, taehyung’s hands slipping on the mirror and crying out pitifully.
fucks him far into overstimulation, body wrecked and twitching in sensitivity, but mouth still open to drone out a plea for jimin to go on. “please,” his voice comes, rough and mumbled, “fuck me. fuck me, fuck me, ji-ah, f-more.”
jimin stills, and slowly pulls out. “i think i want you to ride me.”
taehyung blinks open in confusion, tilting his head to look back at jimin over his shoulder. his eyes are full of question marks, lips parted slightly.
“you heard me,” jimin says. he goes to grab one of the pillows they’d brought, sits down on it with his back pressed flush against the mirror. he beckons for taehyung to come crouch down, “come on, pretty. don’t i deserve to come, too?”
taehyung sniffles but nods, “o-of course,” he mumbles, sitting himself down on shaky legs. he hovers over jimin for a moment, then grabs his cock and slowly sinks down on it, mouth open obscenely and eyes trained on the mirror in front of him. jimin had planned for that, of course, which way to position them so taehyung would be forced to watch himself come apart riding jimin’s dick.
“there you go, baby,” jimin praises, holding onto his waist and letting his fingers dig into the small of his back. taehyung arches, pants prettily, and softly starts pushing up just to fuck himself back down on jimin. “that’s right, gimme a show. ride me real good, i wanna come. you want to make me come, right?”
taehyung sobs, dick giving another embarrassing twitch, and his thighs are shuddering awfully, must strain to pull through and ride jimin when so lax and fucked limp. of course, jimin knows he loves it—oh, how he begs for it to hurt a little harder, always. he fucks up into him, takes him by surprise and grins when he startles, settles back down and watches taehyung bounce, how he’s watching himself, eyes won’t look away from the reflection. “how’s this?” he mocks, gives a spank to his ass, “tell me how you look on my dick. fucking yourself, greedy slut.”
taehyung moans lowly, head throwing back again and pressing down as far as can go, jimin so deep in his guts. “my—god,” he groans, pushing up till his dick’s just catching on his rim, setting back down harshly. “i look so—fucked. ‘m a—o-oh, jimin, ‘m a mess.”
jimin grins, rewards him with another buck up of his hips. “yes,” he agrees. “god, yes, you’re a wreck, taehyung. fucked so dumb—you always get like this, you know? always get this pretty, you’re fuckin –” fucks up to stress “– art!”
taehyung trembles, and when jimin comes soon after, he comes again. cries from it, fat tears brimming down his cheeks, and jimin can’t help but reach up to wipe at them gently, cooing soft praises as they both come down. “god, taehyung,” he whispers, leans up to pepper his face with kisses, “so pretty. so, so pretty, did so well. feel so good, you feel good? the best. so lovely and perfect.”
taehyung falls forward and lands them down on the wooden floor, nuzzling into jimin’s chest. his cock slips out of him and taehyung whimpers quietly, then just sighs happily and presses a kiss to jimin’s chest. “you’re—s’good. jiminie, ah…i? ‘m good?”
“the best,” jimin reassures again, carding his fingers through his hair gently. his body’s slack, stars at the back of his eyelids, and right now there’s nothing on his mind besides calming taehyung back to himself. taking care of him. “so, so perfect. yeah? you hear that, tae, so perfect.”
“mmm.” he hums happily and curls up closer on his chest. “‘m so good. ah, s’good always. best fuckbuddy.”
jimin laughs, smacks a wet kiss to taehyung’s forehead, though the ache in his heart breaks all over, has his free hand clenching to stay calm. all he says is, “yeah. you too.”
hah!!! bet u thought i was gna say this dick!!! BUT! tricked again
now u sorta still said it
fuck off im doing my best
also my dicks not even hard so
im doing homework actually
oh good luck with that!
do u have a lot to do?
for once i just have to read one chapter heh
aw thats nice!!
im gonna stop disturbing u hehe
no shut up ur not disturbing
lets go grocery shopping later???
for old times sake
anything specific were going for
damn u ought to know me better than that by now
haha lets meet around 6??
its a date!!
u know what i mean
HAHA freudian slip huh
see u dude
if you’d asked high school era jimin, he’d probably have said he’d never, ever, ever stand in front of his closet for ten minutes, trying to decide on an outfit to go grocery shopping. however, high school era jimin also did not know taehyung, so college era jimin is currently letting down high school era jimin. he supposes, really, he’s done so before—high school era jimin probably also would’ve said he’d never go to class in sweatpants and the shirt he slept in. college era jimin is afraid he’s shown up in that more times than he has actual clothes.
he narrows his eyes and sorts through his hangers. it’s not that he’s suddenly changed his mind and started hoping taehyung will start liking him back, romantically that is, it’s just—he isn’t sure, really, he just makes him want to put in some extra effort. he wants to look good for him; impress, even if it won’t seduce him or convince him that jimin’s totally boyfriend material.
he settles on dark-wash jeans and a chunky, big belt with loops. pairs it with a simple red t-shirt, tucks it in at the front and cuffs his pants, then puts on a bunch of rings, pushes his hair out of the way, and throws a snapback on backwards, deciding that’s got to be enough.
“yo, hot stuff,” taehyung’s voice comes, followed by a whistle as soon as he skips up to him in front of the grocery store. “you always look so great, jimin. it’s mean.”
jimin thinks taehyung ought to see himself—tonight, he’s in high-waisted shorts (stress on short) and a see-through shirt with embroidered flowers; frilly ankle socks and a white pair of chucks. jimin pulls him in for a hug, “you’re one to talk.”
“well, got a hot date with you,” he teases. “had to dress up for that, right?”
jimin’s smile stays on, somehow managing not to let his face heat up in embarrassment thinking about how he really had dressed up for this. idiot. he grins, “shut up.”
taehyung smiles back at him, rocking on his feet. “let’s go!”
they trail through the store lazily, grab whatever interesting things they spot and hold them up for inspection. there are candleholders and nylon stockings, ziplock bags and what they assume to be a sort of (pet?) toy, though it looks more like something from a horror film. taehyung’s hyped on buying it till he checks the price tag.
“let’s get donuts,” he says suddenly, swiveling around and grinning at jimin. “what time’s it? like, half past six or something, right?”
jimin pulls his phone out to check and nods an affirmative, “six twenty-four.”
“have you had dinner?”
jimin shakes his head.
taehyung’s face breaks into a cunning smile. “you know what we gotta do then.”
jimin tilts his head to the side, one eyebrow cocked and prompting taehyung to go on. he says, though, “what do we have to do, taehyung?”
“okay, what was your ideal dinner when you were, say, six?”
“pancakes,” jimin says quickly. “definitely pancakes. also, ice cream.”
taehyung’s smile is wicked. he grabs jimin’s wrist and tugs him to the section with pancake batter mixes, pulls down one and holds it up for jimin with a smile. “then let’s get ice cream.”
they get ice cream—two kinds: strawberry sherbet and vanilla chocolate chunks—and then go back to the fruit section, picking up a tray with strawberries, and then they make it to the self-checkouts. taehyung insists on paying, but jimin’s going to bring him frappes to make up for it, so he lets it slide this once.
jimin’s place is the obvious choice given the small kitchen, so they make it back there, place the things on the counter and puts the ice cream in the freezer for now.
“hell yeah,” taehyung grins, picks the batter mix up and shakes it. “let’s do this.”
taehyung’s apparently a master at baking pancakes, quickly whipping up the batter in one of jimin’s blue plastic bowls, getting out a pan and pushing a fat lump of butter on it. jimin pushes up to sit on the counter and watch taehyung as he works, the task of flipping the pancakes really just a one-man job.
“you do this often?” jimin asks, swinging his legs just lightly.
taehyung turns his head and shoots him a wide grin. “definitely,” he says. “i’m so excited to, like, find my soulmate and get to do this every saturday morning. doesn’t that sound amazing?”
jimin swallows hard, licks his tongue across his bottom lip. his voice comes a little dry, “yeah. that sounds—so nice.”
taehyung doesn’t seem to register the change of tone, head turned back to focus on the pan in front of him. he gets the spatula underneath and flips it around effortlessly, flicking his wrist to shake the pan lightly. “it’ll be great. i want kids, you know? preferably a lot, but i’m flexible. i’m really excited about that, too,” he tacks on with a laugh.
“you’re going to be a great dad.” jimin’s got control of his voice again, sounding normal and enthusiastic. his words are honest. “can’t even imagine anyone greater, actually.”
taehyung turns his head again, looks at him fondly. “aw,” he says, twists his neck again and puts the finished pancake onto a plate, then adds more batter for a new one. “that’s so sweet of you. d’you want kids?”
“i think so,” he says, shrugging lightly. “i mean, probably. i guess it’s going to depend on what whomever i end up with wants.”
“god, they’re gonna be so lucky,” taehyung says, just as jimin goes on, “if i end up with someone.”
taehyung freezes up, looks at him with wide eyes, mouth opening. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
jimin blushes, shrugs lightly. “we can’t tell the future, taehyung.”
“humph.” taehyung flips the next pancake. “of course you’re going to find someone, jimin. you’re the best person i know.”
guilt stabs almost before the thought ‘then why won’t you be that person’ fully articulates itself in his mind. he swallows down, shakes his head lightly as he gets out a dry chuckle. “well, so will you. oh, wait, should i cut up strawberries?”
he jumps back down from the counter and does just so as taehyung finishes up a big stack of pancakes, smiling happily as he shows it off to jimim after putting the pan in the sink. “now,” he says. “let’s get ice cream!”
jimin grabs the containers from the freezer and sets out on the table, then they spend a minute getting plates and something to drink, finally settling down cross-legged facing each other on jimin’s secondhand couch. taehyung’s balancing his plate on his thighs and scoops up copious amounts of ice cream to his pancakes, digs in with a satisfied moan. “these?” he says, when he’s finished chewing and swallowed down, “are great.”
jimin tries his own and agrees instantly, complimenting taehyung’s skills. a thought flickers through faintly, of taehyung with his future spouse in a situation like this, so in love his heart almost hurts from it. like jimin’s heart hurts now.
they eat in content silence for a while, just enjoying their dinner, though jimin’s not convinced it can really be labelled that. he might’ve disappointed high school era jimin today, but now he’s surely making it up by making kindergarten era jimin very, very happy.
“d’you want more ice cream?” he asks when neither of them has made a move for it in a couple of minutes. “or else i’ll pop it in the freezer again.”
taehyung nods for him to go ahead, so jimin quickly brings the containers and the used tableware back to the kitchen. he leaves the plates in the sink to be dealt with later, just quickly runs them under the water, then puts the ice cream in the freezer and gets back to taehyung on the couch, falling back next to him and resting his head on his chest.
“oh, hi,” taehyung says, voice nothing but soft. his hands find their way into jimin’s hair almost immediately, soft and familiar. “there you are.”
“there i am.”
another couple of moments pass in silence, jimin feeling his whole body melt as taehyung slowly plays with his hair. then, he asks, “are you into jeongguk?”
jimin pushes back up and stares at taehyung. he splutters, feels his cheeks heat up slightly. he’s always blushed so easily—awfully—but right now it’s especially embarrassing, because he’s sure it’ll just make him seem guilty. he breathes out, “no.”
taehyung tilts his head. “are you sure?” he asks.
jimin narrows his eyes and stares him down, but then shies them away. he can’t look directly at taehyung for too long.
“it’s okay if you are,” he says, even reaches out and gives his hand a gentle pat. “i won’t tell him if you don’t want me to. and he’s cute. it’d make sense.”
jimin sighs, eyes shutting for a second as he focuses on an inhale. “taehyung,” he says, blinking open and smiling so sweetly, “i promise i’m not into jeongguk.”
“huh.” he shrugs, relocates just slightly on the couch. “you don’t have to tell, but i think it’d be cute.”
jimin groans. he covers his face in his hands and kicks taehyung’s thigh gently with his knee. “i promise,” he says again, ignoring how his heart’s falling apart, nausea hitting him hard at taehyung’s word, “that i’m not into jeongguk.”
taehyung nods. “okay.”
“do you want me to be into jeongguk?” he’s flushed so red he thinks he might die. the oddness of the conversation—jimin’s goddamn well aware that just because they’re fucking, it doesn’t mean they’re dating, but it’s still a bit strange to have taehyung trying to hook him up with his (presumably) best friend.
“well,” he says, sheepish smile. he scratches his neck. “you two are my best friends.”
jimin closes his eyes and lies back down on taehyung’s chest. “well, i’m not. so, let’s talk about something else.”
“all right.” he slaps his ass. “whatcha wanna talk about, hot stuff?”
“god,” jimin groans. “why do i tolerate you?”
“because i’m a great fuck.” he presses a loud smack of a kiss to jimin’s forehead, then winks. “and my personality’s not half bad either.”
“you’re insufferable,” jimin laughs, pushing at him.
“true,” he nods solemnly.
“okay, give me another art history crash course. what’re we at?”
taehyung lights up, beaming at jimin. he hugs his arms around him closer. “i think it’s time for some cubism.”
taehyung’s in jimin’s lap, kissing him senseless and dumb. taehyung’s such a good kisser, always enthusiastic and on the messy side, panting into jimin’s mouth and sucking on his tongue. jimin runs his hand up his back slowly, curls it around his neck and tilts his head just slightly, pulls taehyung’s bottom lip between his teeth and bites down gently.
“hng,” taehyung whimpers, leaning closer to lock their mouths together again. jimin lets him, lets him set the pace and control, keeps caressing his sides softly where he’s got him straddling his lap.
“i’ve thought about something,” he pulls away to whisper, voice rough against taehyung’s cheek.
“mmm,” taehyung just hums, leaning in for another kiss. “what’s that?”
jimin kisses him again. “i wanna try,” he begins, pausing to press another kiss to taehyung’s lips. he’s nervous, stalling a little, but it’s a good kind of nervous. “can i ride you?”
taehyung groans. his eyes open up and he blinks slowly at jimin, lips parting. “of course,” he says, nodding now, “of course, if you want? do you?”
jimin bites down on his lip, nods at taehyung. “yeah,” he breathes, voice hoarse already, and swoops up for another round of kissing.
“that’s,” taehyung begins, “– hot.”
jimin cocks his eyebrow teasingly, booping taehyung’s nose with his finger. “oh?”
he breathes out, almost a sigh, “god, yes.”
kisses him deep again, enjoying how taehyung starts squirming soon after, whining quietly into jimin’s mouth. “please,” he whispers, “can we—take our clothes off.”
“yeah,” jimin says softly, pressing another soft kiss to taehyung’s lips. “let’s do that, tae.”
slowly, he pulls taehyung’s t-shirt off, then works down the zipper of his mom jeans and gets them off. he chuckles when he sees the hand-stitched eat me on his black boxers, cups his dick through the fabric for a moment before pulling them off his legs as well. taehyung sighs out, paws at jimin’s tee to get it off too, and soon they’re both undressed and taehyung’s got his hands resting on jimin’s hips, looking at him softly. “d’you want–” he breathes out, sucks in a breath and starts over, “do you want me to—finger you?”
jimin lets his eyes close, sighing gently. he grinds once on taehyung’s thigh, smirking at the moan he gets from him, then murmurs, “mm, yeah. do you want to?”
“please,” taehyung whispers, eyes wide and hopeful. “please, let me.”
“okay then,” jimin agrees, kissing him again. “i want to look at you.”
taehyung nods in agreement, lips slightly parted. he moves around to grabble for lube, hooks it between his fingers and pulls it up to squeeze some into his palm. he warms it up for a moment, asks, “have you, uh, done this before?”
jimin nods. he’d thought of taehyung, too, but that’s not for anyone else to know. “yes. i have.”
“okay,” taehyung rasps, “okay, tha’s good. i’m gonna–”
jimin hums out when taehyung squeezes his ass, rubs the pad of his finger against his rim and slowly starts pushing in. he fucks in and out slowly, eyes trained on jimin’s lips and own mouth slightly open, asks how it feels.
“mmmfine,” jimin says, voice gentle. “add another finger.”
taehyung does so, and jimin gasps in a breath. as he said, he’d done it before, but only himself—and he quickly feels the difference, taehyung’s fingers so much longer than his own, reaches much deeper and fucking him open, feels much fuller and better fucked than on his own fingers. he catches taehyung’s eyes, “you’re doing well.”
taehyung flushes slightly, fucks his fingers in again and quickly finds jimin’s prostate—which he’s had trouble with himself, always fighting to locate it—and massages his fingers against it. he bites his lip, “thank you. jimin.”
jimin doesn’t say much for minutes, just moans quietly as taehyung continues fingering him. he pulls out once to add more lube, pushes back inside and fucks jimin apart. finally, “okay, pull out. i want to ride you.”
taehyung groans, pulls his fingers out and smears them on the sheets of his bed. he leans back and looks up at jimin devoutly, lips wobbling. “please,” he whispers. “please, ‘m so hard, jimin. i really wanna make you feel good.”
jimin coos at him, wraps his fingers to toy with the head of taehyung’s dick. “aw, yes,” he teases. “you really are. pretty wet, too, huh?”
taehyung’s mouth falls open, and jimin can see how he’s fighting the urge to buck his hips up. “‘m sorry,” he whimpers.
“no,” jimin scolds. “don’t be sorry, tae. you’re so messy and wet, so cute. you really want me to ride you, don’t you? want to be inside of me?”
he whimpers again, soft and needy. his eyes tear up slightly and he nods, “yes. yes, really wanna—jimin, please. please.”
he rolls a condom down taehyung’s dick, still praising teasingly about his size, and finally straddles his thighs and hovers above him. he seats himself down slowly, groaning at the stretch of it. hands on taehyung’s chest, he sinks all the way down and sits still for a long moment, moans softly at how full he feels. “oh.”
“o-oh?” taehyung prompts, hands clenching in the sheets. “j-jimin, you’re—oh, god.”
jimin hums and softly pushes up, sinks down again just as slowly. he’s never felt anything like this, and it’s sort of weird, but not entirely bad—thinks he has to get used to it for a couple of minutes, fucks himself up and starts riding taehyung slowly. which is a new kind of movement, too, but as a dancer it doesn’t feel too different and he’s in control of his hips, quickly gets into a nice rhythm, and after a minute or two it does stop feeling weird and starts feeling more good, feels full and fucked and still in control, he sets the pace and taehyung is beneath him whining so prettily about how good it feels, and how badly he wants to make jimin feel good.
“your cock’s good,” jimin tells him, sitting down and clenching around him. “you’re so big, taehyung. so good.”
taehyung moans, mouth open and unabashed, sniffling quietly. “s’good, jiminie.”
jimin pulls up till taehyung’s cock is just catching on his rim, hovers, and it takes a moment for taehyung to register it, but then his eyes snap open and he whines dumbly, starts begging for jimin to sit back down. jimin laughs at him, not entirely unkindly, and fucks back down, bounces on taehyung’s cock and delights in the way his face flushes and he can’t stop whining.
“o-oh my god,” taehyung mumbles, eyes squeezing shut again. “ji-oh, can i—mm, wanna, i wanna f-fuck you, can i?”
jimin sits himself down slowly and clenches around taehyung’s cock, lets his head tip back and mouth fall open in a way he knows makes him look good. “mmm, tae,” he mumbles, voice raw, “say it—again.”
“i wanna fuck you,” he whispers, almost reverent. his hands are holding onto jimin’s hips tightly, fingers digging in almost bruisingly. he moans, lost, “please—let me, please. wanna—i wanna make you feel good, i can—i’ll make you feel really good.”
jimin hums, fucks up and sinks down again. “okay,” he agrees. “okay, baby.”
he pulls off and lies down on the bed, taehyung getting up and kneeling in front of him. jimin lets his legs fall open and taehyung sucks in a breath, runs a finger up his inner thigh and shallowly dips it into him, whines when jimin clenches. “you’re s’beautiful,” he mumbles, lines himself up and pushes into jimin.
“ah,” jimin moans quietly. he lets his mouth hang open and eyes squeezed shut, nods for taehyung to continue.
taehyung whimpers at he bottoms out and fucks back in, thrusts stuttery as jimin praises him. “you’re so—oh, jimin, you’re—ah.”
jimin reaches up and grabs taehyung’s hand, laces their fingers together. he moans again when taehyung fucks all in, clenches around him and smiles satisfied when taehyung lets out another soft whimper. “yeah?” jimin asks. “how’s it feel, tae?”
“hhh,” he whimpers, pulls out and fucks in again, hips trembling and already so sensitive. his stroke game’s weak, jimin’s realising, but it’s cute—must just mean he’s really enjoying it, that he gets so into it he can’t even control his hips. “you’re really—tight, jimin, ‘n feels…really good, and—‘s wet, ah, feels—mm really good, am i—you feel good? am i making you feel good?”
jimin hums soft praises, squeezing taehyung’s hand gently. “you are,” he reassures. he’s torn between letting his eyes shut and keeping them open, taehyung looking gorgeous and focused above him, working so hard to be good, make this good for jimin. it’s fucking sex, so his heart’s not supposed to break thinking about how he’s selfless and sweet, but it does anyway. “you’re really good, taehyung. ah, ‘s really good.”
“good,” taehyung nods, eyebrows narrowing as he pulls out again. he gnaws on his bottom lip and squeezes jimin’s hand tightly. “good, good. lemme make you feel good.”
his eyebrows knit in concentration, jaw set as he tries his best to fuck jimin at an even pace, mostly failing with stuttering thrusts, but at least there’s effort, and jimin’s heart swells at that. he fucks in all the way and stays put for a moment, then starts pulling out again, but before he’s bottomed all out he chokes on a sob, whimpers, and thrusts forward again, groaning when jimin clenches.
“you’re a bit sloppy,” he says neutrally, cocking his eyebrow. “can you fuck me a bit faster, tae? i think i’d like that.”
taehyung whimpers, nods obediently, and he succeeds okay the first thrusts, keeps it hard and fast-paced, a bit rough, but soon he’s whining again, grinding in messily. “i’m,” he starts, sniffles, “i’m sorry, jiminie, just—just feels—good, feels s’good, y-you, you’re—hhohmygod.”
jimin squeezes taehyung’s hand again. “it’s all right, pretty,” he reassures. “it feels good, you’re doing well. fucking me good, tae, i promise. baby’s good.”
“baby’s–” he mumbles, “good. yeah?”
“yes,” jimin says again, clenching around him. he blinks slowly, their eye contact suddenly so intense he can’t look away. taehyung’s eyes are splayed wide and full of emotion, not even blinking as he looks at jimin. “baby’s so good.”
“thank—you,” he whispers, fucks in so deep jimin’s body jumps on the sheets. “you’re—good, too, s’good. mhm, so tight. o-oh god, i l—love you, jimin, ‘m coming, fuck.”
jimin’s entire body freezes up at the words, but then immediately he’s coming all over his own chest, mind blanking from the force of it. his breathing comes heavily, mind spinning from everything—taehyung had said—oh, god, he’d said he loved him, and jimin knows it’s true, knows there are so many kinds of love and taehyung’s never been quiet about it; so open with affection and priding himself in making sure his friends know they’re loved, but he’s never said it like this, they’ve always kept sex and love separate, and that’s how jimin’s survived—now, his heart’s in a million pieces, breath knocked out of him and ready to go home and cry his eyes out.
taehyung pulls out of him and it feels a little weird, he clenches around nothing as he feels empty, then taehyung’s back cuddling next to him. “how’s that?” he asks, voice a little sleepy. “was it okay?”
jimin can’t look at him. he forces his eyes closed and his mind’s a repeat of don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, and he tames his voice to come at least close to normal, “yeah. yeah, yes. you were really—good, thank you. how’re you?”
he misses a beat before replying, words breathy. “i’m good. it was good.”
“it was good.”
“are you okay?” he asks after a second, concerned, and lacing their fingers together to squeeze his hand again.
no, jimin’s mind screams loudly. no, i’m not okay! i haven’t been okay for months! but for months i’ve also been more okay than ever before because you make me okay. i’m terrified and i’m not okay. he clears his throat, “yeah,” he says. “yeah, i’m okay. i think i’m just—uh, it was my first time bottoming. i don’t know.”
taehyung hums soothingly. “it felt okay for you?”
“definitely,” jimin says, finally blinking open and chancing a quick glance at taehyung. “yes, definitely. sorry i’m a lil out of it, i don’t know. just…”
“no, don’t worry,” taehyung reassures. “i get it. it’s different, and maybe it can feel…i don’t know, more gay.” he laughs a little, shaking his head. “it’s not bad, it’s just. i understand if it’s hard. or weird. or you feel weird about it, it’s not something to be ashamed of.”
jimin nods. he mumbles, “yeah. thank you.”
taehyung pulls him close in a tight hug. “hey, it’s okay, bro. you’re good. it’s all fine, i love you.”
jimin’s eyes squeeze shut again as his breath’s knocked out of his chest another time. “yeah,” he whispers. “yeah, i love you too.”
afterwards, he does cry. at his own place, barely inside the door, he sinks down on the floor and the first sob wracks through his body, leaving him breathless and aching. from there, it only continues—he sits on the floor with his back against the door, crying so hard there aren’t even any sounds, and slowly it ebbs into a softer sobbing, so he crawls further inside and makes it to the bed, hauls himself onto it, and the second he’s under the covers, it starts again. the most pathetic, heartbroken sound falls out of him, sniffling after, and the tears won’t stop falling—he can’t even breathe, gasping for air that keeps escaping him, hollow and broken and taehyung’s voice on repeat, i love you. it hurts like nothing’s ever hurt before, nothing’s ever come close, his high school breakup barely made him cry—this is so, so much, and he’s got no idea how to handle it.
he sobs again, eyes burning and whole body aching from it, pulls his duvet up to bite down on it. tries anything to calm down, but it’s all pointless—he can’t stop his mind from spinning, mind a loop compilation of taehyung laughing, and smiling, and being so gorgeous jimin thinks of god; rocking whatever outfits he’s pulled on for the day, going on a tangent about klimt’s usage of colours, or the dadaist movement, eyes so alight with interest—jimin’s body shakes, hands trembling where he’s holding onto his covers just for something to do, clenching his fingers till they turn white and he can’t even feel them anymore.
all he is now is the amalgamation of heartbreak and guilt. he can slowly breathe again, but he doesn’t even want to—he wants an escape. he wants it to end. he curses taehyung for ever approaching him in the grocery store, screams at fate for handing him this life.
but even that despair is hollow. it’s not real when he wishes he’d never met taehyung, because he can’t imagine his life without him; and he knows that’s just another mistake, to make anyone else the focal point of your life and become so dependent you don’t ever want them to leave, but taehyung’s made it so hard. taehyung keeps making it so hard, doesn’t even do anything to do so, just is, and that sets jimin off. he steadies his breathing, rolls onto the other side.
i love you, in taehyung’s voice, all broken up by a moan, and the feeling of his body so close to jimin’s own, almost not two bodies anymore but just one—a way you’re not supposed to melt together unless you’re in love.
jimin’s in love and he wants it to end. he’s in love, he realises for the sixteenth thousandth time, and it makes him tear up all ugly again, coughs out another sob and hates himself more than ever.
he must’ve fallen asleep at some point, cried himself to exhaustion, because he wakes up dizzy and disoriented. blinks, and, oh, his eyes hurt—and that pain has him back remembering everything, feels like a gut-punch and the day’s already destined to feel unreal. he’s nauseous, rolls over and lies flat on his stomach on the floor. he can’t do this.
he really, really can’t do this.
not anymore, it can’t go on.
he needs to move on. he needs to quit his feelings, move on from them and just love taehyung as a friend. and to do that, he realises, he needs distance. he needs, at least, to not sleep with him. he cannot continue sleeping with him—it’ll only keep him stagnant here, pining and in pain; the intimacy of last night has really been the wake-up call. he thought he’d accepted his feelings, but he hasn’t. he hasn’t at all—and he doesn’t want to; doesn’t want to live the rest of his life hopelessly in love with his best friend without chance of reciprocation. he needs to move on. he needs to talk to taehyung.
still, it takes a long time to talk himself into it. his fingers hover for ages, keeps typing and retyping till letters barely look like letters anymore, just senseless black scribbles on his screen, and nothing makes sense—nothing makes any sense. finally, he hits send, though, because there’s no other way either. it’s only going to keep hurting. it’s only going to hurt more, and he really, really can’t do it. he’s weak and hollow and ugly, feels stupid, but he can’t do it anymore.
can we meet up?
theres smth i wanna talk abt
taehyung gets back to him immediately, worried tone translating even through the medium.
i hope ur ok
ur place or mine?
actually i was thinking if we could go to the playground
he needs it to be an impersonal place, somewhere public—but obviously not so public someone else will overhear their conversation. so the playground’s a good spot, he figures.
ill hurry, see u there in ten minutes??
he doesn’t remember getting to the playground, mind lost in another world. he’s afraid he’s overthinking it, stressing himself out, but it’s a weird situation. especially weird since he’d been the one to suggest it in the first place, and now he’s calling off the agreement. he knows, logically, that he’s not doing anything wrong per say, he just still feels like an asshole.
“hey,” taehyung says, giving him a hug. he lets go of him and settles down on the swing next to jimin. “what’s up?”
jimin breathes in. he wants to stay calm and unbothered. doesn’t want it to appear as if it’s affecting him much, because that’ll blow everything and reveal how he’s disgusting and in love with taehyung. and it’s supposed to be casual anyway, it’s just friends with benefits so no strings attached, no ties or anything, it should be possible to quit anytime—it’s really no big deal, and he doesn’t want taehyung to think he thinks it’s a big deal, so he tries to stay concise. he also can’t lie to him, though, never been able to do that—so he’s honest. terribly so. “i’ve met this person,” he begins. “and the last couple of months i’ve sort of caught feelings for them? so we need to stop sleeping together.”
“oh?” taehyung says softly. “oh, yeah. no problem.”
he grows quiet after that, last words coming even more muted than his initial response. jimin looks over at him and he seems so small, almost hurt, so he tries again, “it’s not—i don’t know. i just think it’s best that way.”
“no, no! i totally get it,” he says, plastering on a smile jimin thinks looks a little hollow. he reaches out and gives jimin’s hand a squeeze, “i get it, and i agree, of course, i’m just a little…you haven’t talked about them? what’re they like? where’d you meet?” he gives a soft chuckle, looking down at his feet as he shakes his head. “i wanna know what’s going on in your life, jiminie. i’m not just here for your dick, you know? you’re my friend. i—i hope you haven’t felt weird around me since, you know, i really…”
“oh.” jimin’s mouth is dry, taehyung looking up at him sadly as his words hang between them. jimin feels awful—tried to be as honest as he could, give taehyung the truth because it’s what he deserves, but only managed to make him feel like a bad person. as if he’d made jimin feel used—which is laughable, as if jimin isn’t the one who’s been using taehyung for months, getting to hang out with him and even fuck, all whilst living in some daydream fantasy of dating him, too. “oh, no. no, not at all, it’s not—it’s not you, taehyung, ‘s not that. it’s more…i haven’t really told anyone?” jeongguk’s the only one he’s told, and even then he’d figured it out by himself. “i’ve tried to keep quiet about it, like a secret.”
“okay.” taehyung nods, and his face looks a little more relaxed now. a little less hurt, maybe. he swallows, smiles up at jimin. “they don’t—want to be public?”
jimin wants to bawl his eyes out. he smiles sadly, “no, not really.”
“and it’s–” taehyung pauses, looks deep into jimin’s eyes, “it’s what you want?”
jimin swallows. he shrugs his shoulders, looks to the side. “yeah,” he says. “it is.”
taehyung nods resolutely. “good,” he says. “then i’m happy for you.” almost shyly, he adds, “do you want to tell me about them?”
jimin shudders. does he. “uh…”
taehyung’s face almost falls, but jimin admires how fast he catches it, barely gives away the hurt look that flickers across. “can i know if—just, is it a boy?”
jimin breathes out. voice quiet, “yes,” he says quietly. “it’s a boy.”
taehyung reaches out and gives jimin’s hand another squeeze. “i’m proud of you,” he says. “and i’m happy for you. and we’ll still be friends, obviously. just won’t get to sit on your dick anymore. rest in peace, you’ll be so missed. whoever your mysterious secret lover is, son of a bitch is fucking lucky.”
jimin reaches out to shove him, snorts a laugh. “shut up. of course we’ll still be friends. sorry i got all, like, serious weird, i wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”
taehyung just grins at him and ruffles a hand through his hair. “‘s okay, dude. i’m glad you brought it up. communication, yeah?”
jimin gives another nod, a forced smile. he agrees, “yeah.”
“so, uh,” taehyung says, rolling his shoulders. he hooks his hands on the swing’s ropes. “got any plans for today?”
jimin hesitates. he hasn’t, really, maybe some homework, but otherwise nothing. “yeah, actually,” he says. “my chem professor—god, i fuckin’ hate the bastard—has decided we all have to do this big thing for tomorrow. he put it up yesterday.”
“god, that’s tragic,” taehyung says. he almost sounds relieved, but jimin decides not to press that. “he’s such a dick, i’m sorry. i hope it goes okay, though.”
“yeah, me too.” he’s quiet for a second, fidgeting. “well, i guess i should—uh, get to it.”
“yeah,” taehyung nods slowly. licks his lips. “you probably should.” he pauses for a moment, then goes on, “maybe we can hang out when you’re done? celebrate it’s over, sort of.”
jimin nods. smiling, he forces out, “sounds good.”
taehyung nods, not looking at jimin. “well, text me.”
“i will,” jimin says. he kicks himself off from the swing and stands awkwardly for a second, then pushes his hands in his pocket. “okay, i’ll see you. thank you for, uh, everything.”
taehyung looks up at him again. jimin can’t decipher his face. “no, oh my god. it’s fine. we’re fine.”
at home again, jimin’s not sure he’s ever felt less fine.
he does text him, late in the evening. feels a little awkward, boundaries suddenly more unclear—he’s not sure how much has changed now. it ought to be nothing, they’ve just cut out the sexual aspect and everything else should stay the same, but he feels unsure. still, he tries,
yeeess!!!! i knew u could do it
when the text pops up, jimin immediately realises he should change the contact name. the heart’s not helping—especially not since that’s wholly for himself, only he even knows, so that’s another self-indulgence, a tiny way to imagine taehyung as something more than just a friend. he hits edit contact, and just deletes the emojis. then it looks too impersonal, all cold and just the name, so he adds the tiger again.
hah u always believe in me!
THAT I DO!!!!!
i know u can do everything in the world
taehyung asks after another couple of minutes if he wanted to hang out then, but then their schedules won’t align the next days: taehyung’s got afternoon classes the following day, and after that jimin has dance rehearsal which he really cannot miss. finally, jimin tries,
how about saturday? maybe
i get if ur busy its the weekend and all
its no big deal
no i dont have plans
we can hang out omg!!!
ur place or mine? idk if jeongguk will be here
he prob will tbh
jimin sees a chance and he seizes it immediately.
ur place is fine!!
its ok if jeongguks there hah
havent seen him in a while actually
ok come over sat then
pre or post dinner?
ill see u
“hey, jiminie.” taehyung pulls him into a hug after just a second. “glad to see you. how’re you?”
“i’m good,” jimin says, squeezing him tightly before pulling back a step. “you?”
“good too,” taehyung says serenely.
“hey, jimin,” jeongguk calls from his bed, waving at jimin. “wanna get your ass beat in mario kart?”
jimin laughs, but taehyung cocks his head to the side and arches an eyebrow. “what d’you say?”
jimin inhales. “fuck you guys,” he mumbles. “whatever. i wanna be princess peach.”
“that’s so rude,” jeongguk says. “i’m always princess peach. can’t you be daisy?”
“can’t you be daisy?” jimin argues, settling himself down on the middle of the floor. taehyung starts fucking with the tv, turning it and the wii on, handing over a remote for jimin.
“taehyung, shut your boyfriend up,” jeongguk says. “i’m princess peach and that’s that. jimin, choose someone else.”
“i’m not taehyung’s boyfriend,” jimin says flatly. “okay, then let me be donkey kong.”
“but i’m donkey kong.” taehyung looks at him in betrayal. “d’you really want me to be bowser?”
jimin groans, rubs his temples. “whatever,” he says. “you just choose. i’m gonna lose anyway.”
“that,” jeongguk says, “is true.”
they get the game started, jeongguk choosing princess peach and taehyung donkey king—jimin ends up playing as koopa troopa, and as prophesied, he’s still shit and loses. jeongguk and taehyung switch between 1st and 2nd position, taehyung cursing for 30 entire seconds when jeongguk throws the blue shell at him. jimin’s safely at 8th through all three rounds, cursing at himself mentally the entire time but keeping his cool on the outside. it’s just a game, right.
taehyung beats jeongguk, so jeongguk demands a rematch, convinced taehyung’s definitely cheating. “i’d never cheat,” taehyung declares in a shocked voice.
jeongguk and jimin both stare him down. “right,” jeongguk says. “anyway. i want a rematch, because this one’s results are fake news.”
they quit mario kart after a couple more rounds, instead jeongguk pulls out some old cartoons and asks if they want to watch them with him. jimin shrugs sure, and that’s what they spend the rest of the night on. all things considered, jimin thinks it goes pretty okay. it’s not too weird between taehyung and him. he doesn’t stay the night, though, which he might’ve done before.
he focuses on uni. it’s exam season, the final tests and assessments before summer break, so there’s lots of work to bury himself in. works himself harder than ever in the studio, and pours himself into the last papers he has to write, doesn’t skip out on any readings and works to memorise everything he has to memorise.
it’s not completely deliberate how he ends up hanging out less with taehyung.
it comes sort of natural, exams and all—he’s living and breathing homework, only leaves his place to go to the library, the studio, and the grocery store. it’s an unspoken agreement, and not an awkward one—they text when they have time, but they’re both drowning in work so it’s not as often as just a couple of months ago.
because it makes so much sense, he doesn’t really think much about it either. doesn’t think taehyung does either, he certainly doesn’t bring it up.
but, when he does think about it, he thinks it’s probably a good thing. he’s working so hard on getting over him, moving on, and as has already been proved, it’s impossible when they’re as close as they are. he needs some distance. just to sweat it out, get it out of his system—and it comes all on its own, getting so lost in work he doesn’t have time to think about such stupid things as feelings. doesn’t have time for neither self-pity nor indulgence.
because everything about taehyung and his feelings for him is a mix of those two. self-indulgent fantasies of a world where his feelings were—he can’t even think the word, but where taehyung saw him in a similar light and he’d get to take him to the movies and a restaurant, fuck him silly afterwards and fall asleep cuddling, as boyfriends. pitying himself that things aren’t like that, sad and sorry for himself as he gets lost in another guilty daydream.
but with eight finals in the next four days, he’s got no time to think of any of that—it’s all work, work, work, nap, maybe shower, more work.
good thing is jimin likes that, really. to be so stressed he can’t feel a goddamn thing, busy enough his body’s barely a real thing anymore. loves it, actually.
the problem arises when it’s drawing to an end. he’s done well on everything, and now he’s only got one exam left—then he’ll have summer break for two months. suddenly, a lot of space is freed in his mind, and he’s now pushed right back in a chaos of still liking taehyung. he’d thought he’d gotten over it, actually, at least that it’d curtailed a little—that he was making progress. now, though, he’s not so sure anymore. in the shower, an image of him suddenly flashes when he closes his eyes—it’s from months ago, once taehyung had taken him to a museum, dressed in dungarees and a pinstripe shirt, beaming as he tells him about a specific painting. he shudders apart under the water, suddenly breathless thinking about taehyung all over again, still so stupidly in love it hurts.
when he texts him, he really breaks.
good luck on ur last exam!!!
we should celebrate after omg…
at times i was sure id never survive lol
but i did!!!!! and that calls for CELEBRATION!!!
he doesn’t know how to reply. knows he’s right—and jesus christ, does he fucking miss him, suddenly. he hadn’t thought about it because he hadn’t thought about anything but dance and grades, but now that he has time to feel, he realises he misses him. hasn’t seen him for weeks, so of course.
god me too
but we did it haha im proud of u
we should hang out!
im going back home in a couple of days
do u have plans?
thats so nice!
how long r u staying?
a whole month actually!!!
im rly excited haha i miss my family lots
so itll be nice!!!!!
but i also miss u
so do u have time to meet before i leave?
jimin’s heart skips a beat. he’s unsure what’s the best way to proceed—on one hand, he thinks he needs to distance himself more, to really get over him. on the other, he misses him. and he doesn’t want to live without him; a life without taehyung seems greyer than death, so he ought to find out how to get over him but also still stay friends.
i just have my last final tomorrow
so we can do smth after?
i rly wanna see u before i go back
what should we do???
maybe just smth chill hah im kinda bombed after exams
oh dude i get u omg
lets just get takeout n watch a movie
that sounds good
his last exam goes fine as well. it’s math, which he actually likes, but he’s still glad to be done with it now. at least for the time being since he’s going to take another course next semester. now, though, he’s free. and taehyung’s coming over in a couple of hours, so he’s got time to tidy up the place so it looks less like a bomb crater with the unwashed dishes and styrofoam coffee cups overflowing everywhere.
he changes into a clean set of clothes, just jeans and a t-shirt, a conscious decision of not dressing up or doing anything out of the ordinary. it’s an obvious step in getting over his feelings to stop doing things in the name of them. so, no making himself more attractive for taehyung, no buying the juice he prefers instead of jimin’s own favourite when shopping, no going out of his way to appease him. and definitely, definitely no hopeless flirting.
“hi,” he says, hovering awkwardly when opening up his door. he almost chokes when he sees taehyung, mouth certainly drying, because taehyung’s somehow managed to become even more attractive. his hair’s pushed back and he’s wearing a purple bandana, outfit very simple: a black t-shirt and skirt, knee-high socks in a shade matching the bandana. jimin starts to think he might’ve made a mistake inviting him over.
“jimin,” taehyung breathes out, stepping forward to pull him into a tight hug. “i missed you so much. thought you’d died among your books.”
jimin grins lightly, hugging him back before stepping inside and gesturing for taehyung to come in. “nah, i survived. barely, but i did. you look good.”
“thank you,” he beams, boxy smile in place. “you look good, too. a little tired, but still good.”
jimin rubs at the back of his neck and looks to the floor. “i’m, uh, tired, yeah. sorry.”
“no,” taehyung says. “don’t apologise. let’s go inside.”
jimin trails after taehyung into his apartment, taehyung moving around familiarly and making his way to the kitchen to open up the fridge. “can i have some of the apple juice?”
jimin nods, gestures a go-ahead. “sure,” he says. “you know where the glasses are.”
taehyung smiles, turns around to grab a glass from the cupboard and pour apple juice into it. “d’you want orange?”
jimin nods, and accepts it when taehyung hands a full glass out for him. they make it to the couch after, sitting down with a decent distance between them. taehyung crosses his legs and smiles at jimin. “so,” he says. “how’d your exams go?”
jimin takes a sip of his drink. “okay,” he says slowly. “actually, it went pretty great. how about you?”
“oh my god,” taehyung grins, reaching out to pat his knee softly. “that’s amazing, yeah? i’m proud of you. i did okay, too. didn’t fail anything.”
“shut up.” jimin rolls his eyes to stress his words. “you probably got a’s on everything, maybe one b+. stupid genius.”
taehyung just smiles sheepishly, and jimin reaches out to shove his shoulder, muttering, “knew it, god. fuck off.”
“shush,” he smiles, pushing jimin back. “what’s your plans for the break?”
“uh,” jimin hesitates. he’s not quite sure yet. he’s mostly figured he should find a job and earn some money that’ll make living easier when uni starts back up. “work, probably. i don’t really have plans.”
taehyung hums, nods slowly. “you’re not going back home?”
jimin takes a second to shrug. “maybe. i mean, probably. but not for as long as you. it’ll just be visiting.”
taehyung smiles in understanding. “that’s nice, too. i wish you could come with me. i think my mom would really like you.”
jimin’s throat clicks, and he mumbles something wordless. that’s too—what’s the word, domestic. introducing to the family, all that stuff. sometimes he wishes he could just tell taehyung about his feelings, so taehyung could be mindful of how he acts around him. jimin doesn’t want taehyung to change, of course, he knows that he’s just naturally affectionate and open with his heart, and it’s something he adores about him, so no, not change—but maybe, just maybe, tone it down. just a little, just till jimin could breathe again.
“my brother, too,” taehyung goes on, eyes crossing a little dreamy as he thinks of his family. “he’d like you lots.”
jimin smiles, though behind it his mouth feels dry. “i’m sure i’d love them, too.”
“hah!” taehyung throws his head back, “don’t be so sure. my brother can be a devil.”
“well, i suppose it runs in the family then.”
taehyung bats at him again, but fondly. it’s not too tense between them, jimin so hyperaware of his every movement, careful not to get too close nor stray too far. they put on a movie eventually, and taehyung asks before resting his head on jimin’s shoulder—but he allows him, of course, though he’s a little stiff the whole movie through. it’s all okay. when it’s finished, taehyung stretches out and stifles a yawn with his hand, shaking his head and smiling at jimin. “this was nice. i’ve missed you.”
jimin swallows. “i’ve missed you, too.”
taehyung reaches out and softly gives his shoulder a squeeze. “you look so tired. you should get some sleep.”
jimin nods, shrugs it off with a smile.
“i’ll leave,” taehyung says, getting up. he hovers for a moment, then jimin starts pushing up from the couch as well. “no, don’t get up. i know the way, just—yeah. have a nice break if we don’t see each other before i leave.”
“yeah, yes,” jimin says. “i hope you have a really good time with your family.”
when taehyung’s safely away, jimin curls up on the couch again, legs pressed to his chest. this time, there aren’t even any tears.
ur boy’s in DAEGU!!!!!!
jimin’s embarrassed about the way his breath catches, but he’s alone when he receives the selfie so nobody’s there to see. it’s just him, and taehyung looking gorgeous on his screen even blurred-out. of course.
have a nice time!
maybe months prior, they would’ve texted throughout the entire trip. actually, jimin’s sure they would—with how quickly they fell into each other, suddenly it’d already been two months and they’d texted daily; his phone a constant stream of updates on taehyung’s life, so, yes, if taehyung had gone home two months ago, he would’ve kept jimin updated with both pictures and long text messages.
he does in the beginning, at least a little, but a week in it’s started dwindling. it’s jimin’s fault, wholly—taehyung really has been as enthusiastic with his emoji usage as ever, and he’s sent a selfie or two with his siblings, but jimin’s replies have been sparse, as well as rather aloof. with taehyung at a distance (238 kilometres, not that he checked) he’s finding it easier to be cold, doesn’t have to worry about running into taehyung or having him come check up on him. so he keeps his responses short, not flat-out mean, but certainly not too inviting either.
he just needs the distance. in a way, he considers this summer break a godsend—taehyung’s trip back home reassures a physical distance, and if jimin can keep his calm and maintain an emotional one on top of that, who knows? he might be over him by the time uni starts up again, and they’ll be able to go on being friends like normal people.
he does get a job, too. he lucks out badly and scores a tutor position at the studio, gets to teach a contemporary dance summer course for high school students. he’s jittery with nerves before the first time, and the instinct is to call or text taehyung, because he’s always (and what’s with that word, anyway? he’s barely known taehyung an entire year, but still he’s thinking in always) been able to calm him down. almost like he’s the only one who knows how. he powers through, though, without breaking his self-imposed estrangement, just closes his eyes and lets himself imagine taehyung’s hand in his own for a moment, that feeling enough to get him through the door and smiling greetings as soon as students start filing in.
outside of that, of course there’s his own dance routine, and then there’s the gym, and the city, too, spending hours browsing through the streets and window shopping. he gets a lot of reading done, the books he doesn’t have the time to devote himself to during the semester, and plays a lot of shitty games on his phone. he makes a visit home to see his family, too. so, he makes do.
it’s a good summer. he says it again, it’s a good summer.
it’s jimin’s summer. taehyung’s away, and jimin’s alone, and it’s good—the distance, much needed, is helping him move on. slowly starts forgetting details about taehyung’s appearance, exactly which tone it is his voice usually comes out in—he works on himself.
except at night when he closes his eyes and all that’s there is still taehyung, and he hasn’t forgotten anything at all about how he looks—rather, high-definition images appear, one after the other and without an end, every miniscule detail of him still dazzlingly clear, and his mind echoes with his laughter, the exact lilt of it not at all forgotten. he still remembers. and he’s working so hard, he really is, spends so much time perfecting moves in the studio, works himself to nausea at the gym, he really is working so hard on making this his summer, all about himself and getting over taehyung, and—
and it’s all fucking pointless.
it’s all so pointless he can’t stop crying. wherever he looks he just sees his face, and everything reminds him of him—even the grocery store reminds him of taehyung, and he’s tried just going to another, but it turns out it’s not the specific grocery store that makes him think of him, it’s the entire concept of grocery shopping in all its plainness. he sees shit online or in shops he’s sure taehyung would love. even dance, sometimes, when finally getting down something he’s been struggling with, there’s the knee-jerk reaction of wanting to tell taehyung, even show him, but after a moment it hits him that he’s supposed to be better. he’s supposed to be working on it, not indulging in it all the time. he needs to stay so vigilant, guard his own thoughts before they’re even formed.
but it’s exhausting, and sometimes he’s just too tired and lets himself slip up—mind hazy and half-asleep, he’ll get off thinking of him, so pretty and saying jimin’s name, always, always saying jimin’s name. he thinks that might be what he misses most, selfishly—hearing taehyung say his name. because through that, he’s real. real and alive, and in taehyung’s mouth, articulated into the world. without, he’s not really sure what he is.
he’d really thought he’d be able to move on, that he’d just need that one month break and that’d be enough—but it’s not. he’s not moving on. really, he might just be falling further, so when taehyung texts him to say he’s back from daegu, jimin doesn’t reply to him.
the next day, he goes to the website of his phone company and orders a new number.
he’s still got a month of break left, and he’s determined to make the most of it.
spur-of-the-moment, he decides to get a haircut. the city’s so full of salons; throw a stone in whichever direction and you’ll be sure to smash the windows of at least a dozen. he walks in, sits down, and tells the cheery, talkative lady to do whatever she wants.
“ooh,” she claps her hands together in excitement and starts fussing with jimin’s hair. “you sure about that? no limits?”
jimin decides. “no limits. and, really, i’d like something new.” he offers a smile in the mirror. “knock yourself out.”
she does just so, chit-chatting through the whole ordeal of first running a comb through it and spraying water to smooth out any tangles, then starts asking if he’s okay with dye, and if there’s any colours that are no-go. jimin repeats his initial statement, “dye’s great. just do your thing.”
two hours later, he walks out again with orange hair parted in the middle and styled up a little messily. it’s a good look. hyped from that, feeling on top of everything, he spots a tattoo studio right on the other side of the street, and a little hesitantly he walks closer. peering through the window, he doesn’t really spot anyone inside—there’s a single person sitting with their back to the door, looking like they’re on the phone, but otherwise it looks empty. he swallows down.
he’s always been pretty intrigued by tattoos, but has never had the time (or guts) to go through with deciding on one, scheduling an appointment, and actually getting it done. now, though—he’s got time, feels really great in general, and the shop looks quiet, so he might as well just pop in and ask around.
he pushes the handle down and steps in gently, the person looking up immediately as the bell above the door rings softly. they smile at him, gets up from their chair and steps closer. “hi, there. what can i do for you?”
jimin looks around, swallows again. “uh,” hesitates, “i was wondering if i could get a tattoo.”
he gets a soft laugh in return, arms splayed out and a nod. “you’ve come to the right place. i’m free the next couple of hours, so if you want to hang around and do something now, we can do that.”
maybe he’s moving a little too fast, but he doesn’t care. he’s not even sure what the hell he’ll get inked, but says, “that sounds cool.” he looks around the place again, taking it in. it’s kept in neutral colours, nothing too gaudy, wooden floors and black tattoo chairs, the walls covered with framed tattoo designs.
“i’m jennie.” pushes a hand through her hair to get it back, smiles at jimin. “take a seat and tell me what you’re thinking.”
“i’m jimin,” he says, then settles down on the leather couch, crossing his legs by the ankles. he chuckles, “uh, actually i’m not super sure.”
“i can show you some of my work?” she says, tilting her head just slightly. jimin nods agreement, and she gets up to pull out a binder, handing it over for jimin to browse through. it’s stunning work, knocking the breath out of him, and he looks up to quietly double-check, “you did all this?”
she smiles at him, full of teeth and nodding her head. “yeah.”
“that’s awesome,” he returns, looking back down. most of it is monochrome, and a lot of details put into shadows; a lot of the pieces abstract or geometric, a couple more traditional. “you don’t work with colours?”
“hmm, i can, but it’s not my favourite.”
“okay.” jimin nods, closes the binder and hands it back to her. “i was thinking…maybe a snake.”
he’s not sure exactly where it comes from, but it suddenly springs to mind and just feels right, and jennie smiles at him, eyebrows knitting as the gears of her brain probably start working, nodding for him to go on.
“uh, god, i’m shit at this. i’m sorry.”
“it’s okay,” she reassures. “what size are you thinking?”
“not too big,” he says after a second. “but also not miniature. maybe like this –” he holds up his fingers ten or so centimetres apart.
“mm,” she says, and pulls a notepad and a pencil. she pulls out her phone to open google, lays it down on the floor on an open image search for ‘snake tattoo.’ “so how’re you thinking for design? see anything you like?”
jimin reaches out and slowly scrolls through the results, eyes focused. he spots one he likes, looped a couple of times from right to left and around itself, the upper part dark and seen from above, then snaked around so the lower part’s light, the scutes of its belly. he points it out for her, and she picks up the phone again to zoom in and check it out. she murmurs, “i think we can do this.”
“okay,” jimin says.
she starts drawing, gets through a couple of drafts each time improving it a little based on jimin’s comments, and soon they’ve got a design jimin’s interested in. “so, where on your body are you thinking you want this?”
“my arm,” he says. “upper arm.”
“that’s awesome,” jennie says. “let’s get to the chair.”
they relocate, and gingerly she desensitizes the area, gets the design traced onto his skin and sits back. she tells him to go take a look in the mirror and see what he thinks, so he does so, holds it up and twists his arm to look at it from different angles. he decides it looks good, so grins at her over his shoulder and walks back to the station, sitting down.
“all right,” she says, pulling out gloves. “is this your first tattoo?”
feeling a little stupid because it’s pretty obvious, he rolls his shoulders and nods at her. “yeah.”
“mm, okay,” she hums quietly, eyes cast down and focused on her work readying the gun. “well, it depends on your pain tolerance, of course, but it isn’t painless.”
he tilts his head and laughs at her, “yeah, i figured.”
“smart guy.” a sound clicks and she looks up at him with expectant eyes, straightens in her seat. “ready?”
jimin sucks in a breath and nods. “ready.”
he waits for a pain that never really seems to come. it’s more sound than feeling, so he breathes out again and closes his eyes to let his mind wander. at first there’s nothing much, a little giggly-hyped on the thrill of this, but then the tattoo gun’s buzzing mingles with a voice in the back of his mind saying all of this altering himself is a hopeless attempt to remake himself as someone new, someone who’s never been weak enough to let himself fall in love. he squeezes his eyes shut tighter for just a second, then blinks open again, thoughts banished and everything left to focus on the dull pain of the needles hitting his skin.
after about an hour, the buzzing stops and jennie puts the gun down. she looks up at jimin, “how was that? did it hurt much?”
jimin’s quick to shake his head, honestly, “no, it wasn’t too bad.”
“that’s good,” she says, then returns her attention to the tattoo. she wipes at it, cleans away excess ink and blood, and checks if she’s missed any spots. she seems satisfied, then starts the process of wrapping it up. sitting back, she carefully guides him through the instructions on how to care for it, which all seems pretty straight-forward to jimin. she hands over a pamphlet, and then leads him to the counter to pay.
he’s buzzed the entire trip back home, feeling weird and excited and hyper like a child. he’d really done that—his own body, put something on it which he was in charge of.
it’s my birthday sept 1 so ur hereby invited to celebrations!
i know it clashes with start of semester, so i understand if you cant make it
it’ll be super chill, just a couple of friends & pizza & maybe shots haha
i hope u can come!!!!
jimin does the worst thing he’s ever done.
will taehyung be there?
yeah, he will
i dont know what happened but…
ill check my calendar!!
thank u so much for thinking of me ur sweet
at least, he waits a couple of days with the next text. not that it matters, he thinks, jeongguk already knew what he’d say and why he’d say it. this way at least there’s an attempt at pretence, though.
im rly sorry but i cant make it to ur bday
i hope u have a rly good day tho
ill drop of ur present
the new semester is no less stressful than its predecessor. jimin’s glad of it, of course, grateful to have his hands full again, mind blanked by everything going on. he’s becoming very isolated, even more than freshman year; doesn’t have a lot of friends, really, but doesn’t truly mind it either. he supposes that might be the real problem—not so much that he’s friendless, but that he doesn’t even truly desire friends. it’s all whatever.
everything is all whatever.
it’s grey living—school work, dance, all routine and deadlines to be met. wonders if it’s a sort of self-punishment, a retreat to sexuality denial and now he’s got to suffer for falling in love with a boy. or he’s got to suffer for falling in love with his friend, and it’s got nothing to do with anything internalised.
not that he’s even suffering much. he’s just alive, and it’s neither good nor bad—he’s not sad anymore. doesn’t cry anymore, just also isn’t happy anymore. he misses taehyung, of course, and misses jeongguk as well, but even that is…backgrounded. he’s not paying attention to it, so it’s not even real. it’s like a phantom limb, always aching and at the back of his mind, but there’s so much boring banality at the front he doesn’t think of it.
jimin stares at it quizzically for a moment. he figures someone must’ve gotten the wrong number.
i’m sorry, who is this?
when nobody responds, he doesn’t think about it again.
and like that it continues, all of september is the most uneventful whirlwind of homework and not much else. everything’s absolute shit, but he’s detached from reality so it doesn’t register anymore. nothing’s real anymore, least of all jimin himself.
he’s taken to going on walks at night when he can’t sleep. his insomnia’s only gotten worse, which has obviously just made him work even harder to try to reach that blissful state of exhaustion where his body simply just gives out and collapses. he remembers how it used to be a different kind—plagued by the images of taehyung, and taehyung, and taehyung, he’d overthink so much he couldn’t ever relax enough to drift off.
it’s different now. he’s not overthinking anything—he’s not thinking anything. even schoolwork’s gotten mechanical, just a task of filling out questions and answers, looking things up in a book and writing in whatever it says. he’s not thinking at all, and that’s the problem. everything’s static void, numb and thoughtless.
one night, he’s wandering around, and comes to the playground where—he doesn’t finish the thought before he’s lying on the grass, eyes watering and tears spilling out everywhere. it’s taehyung again, how he’d looked at him when he’d said he couldn’t do it anymore, and it opens the floodgates of everything—thinks back to the very first time they met in the grocery store and jimin had been so pissed off, and thinks now of how even then he’d thought taehyung was so gorgeous. chokes on a sob because he should’ve realised sooner, but he didn’t realise, just went ahead and caught feelings like an idiot, and he should’ve told taehyung, maybe, should’ve been up-front with him and confessed what was going on, should’ve stopped playing him, so cruelly, but he was always selfish. he was always so selfish.
he brings his knees to his chest and hugs himself, cries his heart out silently. he misses him so much. everything he’s pushed to the back of his mind is suddenly rushing forward, demanding attention, and jimin never realised there was so much—he thought he’d moved on by now, had grown content with a boring life, but he’s not over anything, his mind echoes with taehyung’s gorgeous, deep laughter and an image of his face all scrunched up with joy. hair messed up and bangs cut weirdly with kitchen scissors, flaunting the shirts he’d diy cut slices in, wearing high-waisted shorts that made his waist look so beautiful jimin suddenly can’t breathe at all, gasping in an attempt not to hyperventilate. he fails, breathes again, fishes out his phone and opens up his photostream to scroll through his folder named tae full of all his selfies, which he still hasn’t deleted because he’s awful and awful and awful.
cries harder when he enlarges a blurry photo of him grinning as he holds up a peace sign, swipes to the right and gets one featuring a giant ice cream captioned treat urself time!! his hands are shaking so badly he can barely control his fingers, but he opens up the album titled messages, screenshot conversations with taehyung.
he’s not deleted those either, and so it’s obvious he hasn’t moved on, doesn’t know how he ever fooled himself into thinking he had, but here are all the old texts between them, whenever taehyung had said something especially sappy or kind jimin had to save, a compliment or shared daydream—they’re happy, full of emojis and both of them spamming back and forth, how it’d been between them—so good, both of them happy and friends, and jimin had had to go ahead and ruin it all.
not even thinking of the feelings, he’d ruined their friendship. he should’ve been able to repress it and move on some other way, still remain friends with taehyung. he can’t live without him, goddamn it, life is shit when they’re not talking, everything’s boring and grey and awful and jimin’s gotten so good at pretending it doesn’t matter, that he doesn’t mind, that it’s okay, but it’s not fucking okay, it’s not okay at all, he’s not okay. he’s not fucking okay.
he scrambles, sucks in another heavy breath desperate for air. his vision’s blurry so he’s got no idea if he’s even hitting the right keys, doesn’t know if this is a mistake or not, it probably is, but everything’s a mistake anyway, and life is pointless right now, so he types in taehyung’s number from memory, still has that shit memorised like a love-sick child, and hits call.
he remembers he hasn’t even given taehyung his new number, doesn’t think so, isn’t actually sure, and taehyung might have a new one as well, he probably has, so this is a long shot and a bad one, but he tries anyway, and tries steadying his breathing as the call goes through and connects, and then, after desperate, terrifying seconds, in a rough, sleep-ridden voice, “‘s taehyung.”
jimin breaks apart. hasn’t heard his voice in months, only the replay in his head, and it’s too much—too much, too much, too much, and not enough, he lets out the loudest cry, sobs so hard he can’t even form words.
it doesn’t help that taehyung recognises him still, and so easily, the way his voice immediately sounds woken up and dipping low so worried, rustling noises in the background as he must sit up in bed. “jimin, is it you? are you okay?”
“tae,” he whispers, wet and awful. this is all wrong. he’s not supposed to do this. “tae.”
“jimin.” he sounds breathless, choked-up and disbelieving. “jimin, i’m here. it’s me. it’s me, it’s you?”
“‘s me,” he gets out again, wailing embarrassingly, but there’s no stopping, “‘s me, taehyung. taehyungie.”
“where are you?” he asks, voice soft and careful. “are you okay?”
“no.” it’s too loud and awful, but he’s tired of himself, doesn’t care anymore. “no, ‘m s’bad, please, can you—are you busy?” he trails off, getting muted. he inhales again, tries to steady himself enough to catch a breath.
“where are you?” taehyung repeats. “tell me where you are, i’m on my way. i’m coming, jimin.”
“i’m at–” he breathes in again, “i’m at the playground. i miss you, i’m—sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘s late.”
“please don’t hang up,” taehyung sounds desperate. there’s more rustling sounds in the background, and then a door shutting, loudly, then he’s talking into jimin’s ear again, “i’ll be there soon, jimin. as fast as i can, please stay on the phone.”
jimin whimpers. “‘m so stupid. ‘m so stupid ‘n mean ‘n awful.”
“no,” taehyung says, calm though breathing suddenly panting. he must be running. “no, no. you’re not, jiminie. just stay put, okay? okay, baby, just stay where you are. i’ll be there real soon.”
jimin doesn’t have the energy for more words, just sobs quietly and hugs himself. listens to taehyung’s heavy breathing as he must get closer to him, and then—then he’s there. he sees him standing at the edge of the playground, hand to his ear and eyeing out the place, and he spots jimin and gets to him in three steps. he drops his phone and his voice is reverent, “jimin.”
jimin looks up at him. “i wasn’t,” he starts, voice wet and tiny. he hesitates, looks away from taehyung, “i wasn’t sure you’d show up, and i’m—i’m s’sorry, but i don’t—i don’t have anyone else.”
“shh,” taehyung hushes him, always so gentle. always the kindest angel jimin’s ever seen. his hands hover awkwardly inches from jimin’s skin, not touching. “of course i’d show up,” he whispers back, voice quiet as well, wavering. “i—jimin, love, i miss you so much. of course i’d show up.”
jimin lets out a wet sound from the back of his throat, sounds like he’s going to choke himself. he breaks, “i’m so sorry,” falls forward into taehyung’s chest, “i’m s’sorry and i’m so dumb and i miss you—so much and i…and i–”
taehyung interrupts him with a shushing murmur, hugging him tightly and stroking his hand over his head. “shh, jimin. it’s okay. i’m here. it’s okay, now.”
“no,” jimin gasps, probably gets snot on taehyung’s shirt, “no, ‘s—i miss you s’much, i’m so stupid and dumb and awful and bad and i—d’you,” he hesitates again, tries to steady his breathing though that’s a fight long lost, “canwetryagain?”
taehyung’s quiet for a moment, just hugs jimin tightly. breathlessly, he murmurs, “yeah. yeah, of course, can we? do you want to?”
jimin sobs, broken but a giddiness starting to bloom inside, though he can’t let himself feel it properly yet. can’t let himself get his hopes up just to have them crushed again, doesn’t think he’d be able to survive it. “to be friends again?” he asks, hopeful. “yeah, yes, i want it more than anything else.”
taehyung hesitates for a second, then stumbles over, “and just—just that? uh, just friends?”
jimin’s heart aches, another tiny piece breaking off. “i can’t,” he sets off immediately, pushing up to look into taehyung’s eyes. flashes back to how empty he’d felt after every time they’d slept together, fuel for all those fantasies that never would leave him alone. “‘m sorry, i can’t—i can’t do like before, can’t… just friends. only friends this time.”
something passes on taehyung’s face, but then he nods resolutely. he pulls jimin close again, whispers into his hair, “friends.” then repeats, almost like a prayer. a hope. “friends?”
jimin shudders and hugs him back, scared and tiny. he mumbles into his shoulder, “friends.”
for a long time they just sit there, clouds drifting by above them so the sky’s a hazy masterpiece of darkness, gloomy and gorgeous, the stars bright somewhere afar but almost drowned by the grey clouds. jimin leans in closer, hugs taehyung tighter than ever before and breathes in deeply—doesn’t ever want to let go, now that it’s been so long since he’s held him, and it’s been the most terrible time. wants to cling onto him forever and just stretch this hug out to last eons, an entire lifetime and never worry about anything again. just taehyung.
“you must be cold,” taehyung breaks the silence, hand coming up to softly cup jimin’s face. “god, how long were you out here?”
jimin closes his eyes, and first now does he realise he’s trembling, but there’s no telling if it’s even from the cold. he realises, too, that he has no response for taehyung’s question. he blinks, mumbles, “i don’t—know, not…i don’t know, i’m okay.”
taehyung tsks and pulls him close again, rubs his back to try to get some warmth into his body. “let’s get back, okay? will you let me take you back with me?”
there’s nothing jimin could want more, so he nods shakily, not daring to look at taehyung’s eyes. breathes out a stutter, “yes.”
taehyung presses a soft kiss to his forehead, then stands up and pulls jimin with him by the wrist. “piggyback?”
jimin’s mouth stretches into a lopsided smile, nodding at taehyung. he wipes at his drying tears. “if you offer.”
taehyung grins at him and turns around, kneels down slightly for jimin to jump onto his back. he does just so, and taehyung lets his hands hook under his thighs to keep him in place. when jimin loops his arms loosely around his torso, he starts walking slowly.
quiet settles contentedly between them on the walk back to taehyung’s dorm room. when they get there, jeongguk’s not around, taehyung letting them inside and setting jimin down on his bed softly. he leans back and scratches his neck, looking at the floor and anywhere but jimin. “um.”
jimin’s as awkward. “uh.”
“can i–” taehyung tries, gesturing for the bed.
taehyung sits down on the bed gingerly, crossing his legs in front of him. he tilts his head back and looks at jimin, eyes scanning over him. timidly, he tries, “you’ve—changed your hair.”
jimin startles, hands coming up to fidget with a strand. “yeah, i–”
“it’s nice,” taehyung says, trying a smile. “it looks good on you.”
jimin starts melting, softly smiling back at him. “thank you. you look different, too.”
taehyung blinks, smiles a little shy. “i, uh, my hair’s just gotten longer. haven’t cut it, it’s nothing.”
“no,” jimin says, reaching out. he lets his hand hover between them, and not till taehyung nods does he card it gently through his hair. taehyung leans into it. “no, it looks nice. softens you, somehow.”
taehyung smiles at him, a crooked thing. “thank you, jiminie. d’you want, uh, hot chocolate? coffee? something to heat up?”
jimin inhales, scared of coming with any requests. this is still a fragile thing, both of them holding their hands out so hopefully, and he’s terrified any wrong thing will break it all apart. “i’m fine,” he finally breathes, “unless you—want something?”
taehyung nods slowly, pushes back an inch on the mattress. “i could do with hot chocolate,” he says. “you want some?”
jimin breathes relieved, smiling happily at taehyung. “i’d love some.”
together, they get to the shared kitchen and taehyung turns the kettle on. he pulls down two cups and a jar of hot chocolate mix with a big sticky note reading KIM TAEHYUNG’S. DO NOT TOUCH. jimin smiles a little, and waits in silence as taehyung prepares the two cups. he hands one to jimin and they dawdle back to his room.
“so,” taehyung says carefully, blowing softly on his drink. “…how have you been?”
jimin stalls by taking a sip. “fine,” he lies. “been working a lot. teaching dance.”
“no way,” taehyung says, face lighting up in a bright smile. “that’s fantastic! congratulations, jiminie. how long?”
jimin blushes slightly, casts his eyes down. “not too long, got it over summer break.”
it hangs between them, the unspoken and you didn’t tell me? and jimin feels awful, but thankfully it’s never vocalised. he swallows down instead, says, “and you?”
taehyung’s face breaks, then builds back up in a split-second. “oh, you know. as usual. you didn’t come to jeongguk’s birthday?”
jimin swallows. “no,” he says. “i couldn’t make it, wanted to but…you know, busy.”
the silence is tense for a moment. taehyung’s the first to break it, but the tension doesn’t dissipate. “and the–” he mumbles, looks down at the cup in his hands. “the guy you—it didn’t work?”
till that moment, jimin hadn’t even thought about that story for months, had forgotten he’d made taehyung believe he was seeing someone else. it hits him hard, and his mouth dries. “oh,” he says, “no. no, it didn’t. we—wanted different things.”
taehyung nods in understanding. he reaches out one hand and rests it on jimin’s knee, squeezes gently. “i’m sorry to hear that. he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
jimin almost laughs at the irony of it all. if you ignore the pain, it’s nothing but hilarious. he swallows dryly. “guess he doesn’t.”
“are you—okay with this?” taehyung asks later when they’ve drunk their chocolate and are lying down on his small single-sized bed, their bodies touching. “i can—i’ll sleep in jeongguk’s bed. it’s fine.”
“no,” jimin whispers. he grabs onto taehyung’s hand and laces their fingers together, gives a squeeze. this is dangerous waters, and he’s not supposed to—probably should crawl into jeongguk’s empty bed instead, or go home to his own, but he doesn’t want to. and he’s too tired. “no, it’s okay. it’s good. i want it.”
“o-okay,” taehyung breathes, wrapping his arms around him. jimin feels safe as he’s held, cuddling close to taehyung as whispers into his nape, “as long as you’re okay.”
there’s what feels like a faint kiss pressed to his neck, and a whisper of i missed you, but jimin’s already drifting off.
howre u today?
jimin smiles at his phone. the last week has been nice. taehyung hadn’t addressed the new number, just silently coded it in after jimin’s call and taken to text him again; and it’s been…nice. it’s really the best way to describe it, everything suddenly feeling better and vibrant and good again, realising how lonely and terrible the last months have been, something he’d not felt much when he was living them, but now? now taehyung’s back, and his phone lights up with digital enthusiasm and pixelated smiles, and he’s happy. almost doesn’t believe it’s true, wandering around as if in a dream, smile on his lips near constantly.
it’s like the beginning all over again. falling back together so easily, updating each other on everything and getting to know each other (again).
im also good haha
do u want to hang out?
yes!!! that sounds nice
what do u wanna do?
haha jeongguk just asked who im texting he says to say hi!!
o say hi!!
but anyway yeah
u can just come over if u want?
ill see u soon then
he checks his reflection in the mirror and decides he looks all right, then shoves his phone in his jean pocket and heads to jeongguk and taehyung’s room. he gets there quickly enough, legs still knowing the way on their own, then stands hesitantly in front of the door, waiting to knock. finally, he just raises his arm and does it.
it only takes a moment till taehyung’s pulling the door open and drawing jimin into a hug. “hey, jimin.”
“taehyungie,” he responds happily, squeezing him back. he pulls back and looks over at jeongguk. “hi, jeongguk.”
“hi,” jeongguk says. he squints for a second, then nods decisively. “it’s good to see you.”
“it’s good to see you too,” jimin says, trying not to flush at the implication.
taehyung steps back and asks him to come inside, so he follows in and sits down gingerly on the edge of taehyung’s bed. he looks back at jeongguk, “how’ve you been?”
“good,” he says, shrugs. he shoots taehyung a look. “decent. you?”
“busy,” jimin hums. “good summer?”
“yeah,” he says. “taehyung visited me in busan.”
jimin looks over at taehyung, surprised. “you did?”
taehyung smiles a little bashfully. “mm. for a couple of days.”
“that’s so nice,” jimin says honestly, settling further back on taehyung’s bed.
“it was,” taehyung agrees. “did you go back?”
“i did, yeah. just once.”
after a moment, taehyung pulls out m&m’s and it all feels terribly reminiscent of one of their first times spent hanging out. nicely so, though; jimin’s so careful and thinking all his movements through, mindful of where he puts his hands and legs, not too close and not too far, so scared of making taehyung uncomfortable in some way. doesn’t want to ruin it all over, so he does his best being the best person he can be.
“d’you wanna watch a movie?” taehyung suggests, and he looks at him with open eyes showing it’s really up to jimin. it’s fine either way.
“yeah,” jimin says. “what should we watch?”
“i—do you have any preferences?”
“not really,” jimin shrugs. “it can be whatever you want to.”
jeongguk looks at them in a curious way, expression not immediately decipherable to jimin. he looks examining, eyes focused, but not coldly so. puzzled, maybe. jimin looks back at taehyung instead.
“moonrise kingdom?” taehyung suggests tentatively.
jimin smiles. “that sounds great.”
taehyung smiles back at him, soft and happy, and breathes out as if that settles it, then, and gets up from the bed to sort through everything and find the movie. he pops it in the player and lets it be blown up on the television, grabs the remote and settles back down next to jimin. he hits play.
jimin’s itchy as they watch it, wanting maybe to inch closer and let his head rest on taehyung’s shoulder, or arm come around him, or hold his hand, but obviously mindful of not doing any of that. taehyung seems fidgety next to him, too, so jimin focuses on staying even stiller, careful not to unsettle taehyung. he looks over at him and sends a soft smile, then looks back at the screen.
“i love the aesthetic so much,” taehyung whispers, not so loud to disturb from hearing what they’re saying in the movie.
“me too,” jimin says back, just as quietly. “it’s so…dreamlike. it reminds me of you, actually.”
his tone of voice makes jimin look back at him, and he realises, suddenly, he doesn’t think taehyung’s visuals will ever stop stealing his breath away. glowing in the soft afternoon light, hair curling up and softening his face, he looks gorgeous. jimin clears his throat, “yeah. obviously. it’s so eccentric, right?”
“oh,” taehyung says again, nods to himself. “well. maybe we’ll find our own mile 3.25 tidal inlet one day.”
jimin swallows, eyes focused back on the screen. “maybe.”
“oh, my god,” taehyung says, reaching out and taking jimin’s elbow in his hand. he twists his arm around gently, “is that a tattoo?”
jimin looks down at his own skin. “oh, yeah.”
“what the fuck,” taehyung mutters, swiping his thumb over it and leaning closer to inspect it. “did it hurt?” he asks, looks up at him with a dreamy look in his eyes, almost distant.
“not really,” jimin says honestly, shrugging as well as he can with his arm locked in taehyung’s hands.
“oh,” he says. he chuckles at himself, head shaking. “it looks really, really good. snake?”
jimin hesitates, mumbles something wordless. he finally settles on, “yeah.”
taehyung laughs, not meanly. “it’s nice. when’d you get it?”
“uh, summer break. sorta random decision.”
“a good one,” taehyung decides. he lets go of jimin’s arm again and settles back, safe distance recreated.
wanna grab coffee later? x
u know coffees shit but smth else sounds good heh
ur such a baby
U LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!
babies are cute sooo
u think im cute jiminie??
watch it or ill take back the offer
yes i think ur cute tae
all i wanted to hear cutie
lets go for coffee/strawberry frappes
taehyung’s lingering outside the coffee shop when jimin shows up, and he pulls him into a loose hug before they walk inside. jimin gets a regular coffee, and taehyung asks for a large strawberry frappe with extra whipped cream. jimin smiles at him from the side as he orders, unable to not when he’s so endearing grinning widely at the barista and thanking countless times as they jot down his name.
“how’s dance?” he asks as they walk back outside, lazily strolling down the street till they find a vacant bench. they sit down side by side, taehyung bringing his frappe up and sucking the straw gently between his lips.
“dance is good,” jimin says softly, looking out on the people walking by. “how’re your classes?”
“they’re good,” taehyung says. “got a lot of the boring stuff out of the way last semester so this one’s way more fun.”
“aw, that’s awesome.”
“yup,” taehyung hums, taking another drink of his frappe. he looks at jimin with disgust as he puts his styrofoam cup to his lips. “god, i can’t believe you can drink that stuff. repulsive.”
in bed later, jimin pushes his duvet between his thighs and sighs out. his mind’s spinning slightly, a little hazy with an odd sort of happiness—everything’s been so nice the last weeks, falling back into place with taehyung and getting to be around him again, have him in his life another time. he’s so over the moon with joy from that, constantly dizzied and having to pinch his own arm just to check, no longer consumed by the empty grey, the muted missing now fulfilled—but obviously, of course, only makes sense, his heart’s also aching, still. maybe even more than five months ago, because even now, weeks into the reconnection, it’s less fragile, not so constantly mindful of every word and movement, but still, he’s scared. knowing how easily it could break again, fall to shit and leave them apart—he’s scared, and he’s also more in love than ever before. taehyung’s been so lovely, too lovely, really, hasn’t pushed jimin away or brought up how he’d been an asshole, hurt him and ruined their friendship, has just opened his arms wide again and let him back in, hugged him and apologised—he’d apologised, ridiculously, because he’d done nothing wrong. jimin’s ashamed and hates himself to think he made taehyung think he’d done something wrong.
he rolls over in bed, eyes closing. he tries soothing his mind, tries not thinking, because he’s not sure what he’ll think about if he first starts thinking. maybe something simple, something soft, holding taehyung’s big, warm hands and stroking his thumb over his palm, playing gently with his fingers and splaying them against jimin’s own. maybe he’ll think of fucking him, he probably will, but just for a minute or two, because that’s not the worst thoughts. the worst are the museum ones, taehyung tugging him by the wrist and leading him around to show his favourite pieces, talking animatedly about what’s special about them and why he loves them. getting to watch his face lit up and eyes glinting, enthusiastically gesturing as he talks and talks and talks, and jimin gets to listen to him, most beautiful voice and soul, those—are the worst. definitely, and they always feel so real, and then he’ll come awake to the realisation it was just a daydream. always just a daydream.
he sighs again, rolls back onto his back and blinks open to stare at the ceiling. maybe it will just always feel like this. he’s afraid it might, but maybe it’s also okay—it’s a small price to pay, really. to be in love to get to be near him at all, it’s not that much. he should be able to handle it. it hurts, yes, but being away hurt more. hurt too much. this way there’s ache, tender stabbing, but there’s taehyung, too. so there’s good, too.
tell me im hot
ur the hottest man ive ever seen
ooh jesus christ
the hair is SUCH a good look
and ur lIPS
ur such a fuckin ASSSHOLE
u always feed my praise kink / ego
ur s oosooOOosooo HOT i swear
god i missed ur selfies holy shit
when u push ur hair like that hhhhhh
u deserve someone suckin ur dick 24/7
listen to me
“let’s play ludo,” taehyung suggests. “or go fish. let’s play go fish but instead of saying ‘go fish’ you say ‘go fuck yourself.’”
jimin snorts, falls forward and lands half in taehyung’s lap. he gives his thigh a pat before leaning back up in his cross-legged position.
“wait, d’you know speed?”
“methamphetamine?” jimin clarifies. “sure.”
taehyung reaches out and shoves him, laughing. “no, asshole, the game.”
“oh.” jimin feels his own cheeks turn pink, hopefully just slightly. he shoves taehyung back. “well, no, i don’t. i guess that’s obvious.”
taehyung grins at him, “yeah. wanna play? i’ll teach you.”
“sure,” jimin says, rolling his shoulder. he’s already feeling something twist in his stomach, competitive nature coming out. “i don’t see why not.”
taehyung finds a deck of cards and shuffles them skillfully. “the rules are pretty simple,” he starts, keeping his eyes kind and on jimin, and then he explains them. it’s fairly straight-forward, and soon he’s handing out cards. he cocks his eyebrow at jimin, “ready?”
jimin nods and they start playing. the first round jimin loses, but he’s still getting the hang of the rules, so he lets it slide, and the next three times he wins. he’s on a roll, feeling great, finally getting to beat taehyung at a game. “you’re shit at this, tae.”
taehyung scoffs, rolls his eyes. “you’re shit at literally every video game we’ve ever played, including tetris. i’m being nice to you.”
jimin cocks an eyebrow. “oh, you are?”
“for sure.” taehyung clicks his tongue lazily, shuffling the deck again. “i feel bad for you. so i’m letting you win.”
jimin rolls his eyes at him, holds his hands out to accept the cards taehyung hands him. “you don’t have to play nice,” he reassures. “i’m a big boy, i can take it.”
taehyung laughs, and they start another round. jimin wins again, throws his arms in the air so cards fly, and jumps on taehyung to push him to the floor and tickle him. taehyung kicks his legs and laughs, arms flailing around as he begs jimin to stop, but he’s giggling as he does so, beaming at jimin.
jimin digs his hands into his sides, straddling his thighs to keep him in place as he continues tickling him, grinning down at him. his laugh’s the most beautiful thing in the world, and he tickles him till he’s breathless, gasping for air. he slows down then, hands still on his waist, and just looks down on him, takes in his flushed face, mouth open as he catches his breath. his eyes widen and he licks out to wet his lips, so jimin swallows hard, snapping out of it and pushing off, sitting back an arm’s length away, and taehyung slowly sits up as well. he swallows again, but can’t look away from taehyung, eyes darting between his eyes and lips.
“oh,” taehyung says, breaking the silence. he runs his hand through his hair. “well, you won then. guess we found one game you’re good at.”
“shut up,” jimin mumbles with no bite to it. he rolls his eyes at taehyung, reaches out to start collecting some of the cards scattered everywhere. “just because i’m not a nerd.”
“hey, nerds are hot!” taehyung returns immediately. “have you ever seen me with glasses? it’s a look.”
jimin shakes his head softly, fond. so fond.
taehyung’s splayed out on the floor, hair tied up in a little knot and chewing at the end of a pencil as he’s reading in a coursebook. jimin’s on his bed, supposedly doing homework as well, and, really, he is, just cast his eyes up for a second and is now looking at taehyung so focused on his work. he pulls the pencil out and purses his lips, taps it against them a couple of times, then hums out a tiny oh and scribbles down something on his notepad. it’s so endearing, watching him work, strong eyebrows narrowed as he thinks, lips slightly parted and mumbling as he’s writing. he’s just in sweatpants and a t-shirt, wholly barefaced and hair done up messily only to keep his bangs out of his eyes, so he’s so soft, and gorgeous even this casual.
taehyung catches him looking, so jimin flushes and immediately averts his eyes, looking down at his own work again and pretending to concentrate. he feels taehyung’s eyes on him, almost scrutinising, but he can’t look up again—just pretends to be lost in thoughts though he’s really just staring at the same one word without even registering what it says.
it’s a friday night. and they’re alone in jimin’s room, doing homework.
he figures it ought to be the most boring thing, and maybe it is, but he’s getting a front row view of taehyung all relaxed, and it’s almost domestic—so safe and nice, just doing their respective work in each other’s presence, not having to worry about anything or even talk, just knowing they’re there. it’s quiet time, soothing.
jimin loves any time spend with taehyung, but this is definitely a favourite. he’s back at daydreaming about saturday mornings and pancakes, sundays spent lazing around in pyjamas and doing nothing but cuddling and watching cartoons and eating takeout for dinner. he swallows, tries to focus on the homework, but his mind’s already lost—intimate, comfortable feeling of everything fuelling his aching pining, and he feels taehyung’s eyes on him still.
he looks up, blinks and catches taehyung’s eyes. he tilts his head, tames his voice softly, “what’s up?”
taehyung shakes his head. “uh,” he mumbles, “d’you know…if the vienna secession was founded 3rd or 4th of april? i’m blanking.”
jimin’s eyebrows narrow, confused by the question. it’s not like taehyung to blank on this kind of thing. “i’m sorry, i don’t.”
“right.” taehyung hesitates, reaches out and grabs his phone. “i’ll just google it.”
jimin nods at him and returns his focus to his own books. after a moment taehyung quietly says, “it was the 3rd.”
another half hour or so passes, but jimin’s not getting anything done. he gives up, puts the books aside and shuffles his hand through his hair, letting his head fall back and rest against the wall.
“you all done?” taehyung asks curiously, head tilting up to look jimin’s way.
“huh?” jimin mumbles, looking back down and catching taehyung’s eyes. “oh, no. just can’t focus.”
taehyung hums in response, puts his pencil down next to him. he taps his fingers against the floor, “me neither, really.”
jimin fidgets with his hair again, messing it up just to have something to do with his hands. he sighs again, gets up on his knees to take all his things and put them away from the bed. settles back down on his butt, crosses his legs in front of him and hugs them to his chest. “‘m bored.”
taehyung laughs. he licks his lips, “you’re cute.”
it takes jimin aback, eyes widening slightly, and he’s so surprised the first thing out of his mouth is just, “you’re cute, too.”
taehyung looks down at his lap, head shaking gently. “no, you’re—cute.”
jimin narrows his eyebrows. he’s trying not to blush at the compliment, keeping his eyes on taehyung. “you’re also cute?”
“i’m in love with you,” he says suddenly, randomly, then immediately his face falls and he pushes his hand to his mouth. “fuck.”
jimin blanks, and taehyung continues, rambling, “i’m so, so sorry, jimin. i’m so sorry, i didn’t—i really didn’t mean to, i’ve tried—i’ve tried so hard to get over it, i really have, i’ve…i’ve done everything, i still am trying, i’m so sorry, but—but i am. i’m so in love with you.”
jimin doesn’t think he’s hearing taehyung right. his mind’s blacked, trying to start working again, but it doesn’t, so he just stares at him wide-eyed.
taehyung trembles. “god, i’m—i’m sorry, jimin, i really am, but i—i had to tell you. i had to tell you, i can’t…i don’t know what to do. i don’t know what to do, but i can’t—i dunno, i don’t know what to do, i’m so sorry, please…” he looks at him, eyes begging, “please say something, jimin, please. please, i promise…i promise i’m doing my best.”
“you’re–” is all jimin manages, stuttery with a cracking voice. “you’re—?”
“sorry,” he repeats again, almost delirious now. pushes at the schoolwork around him, hugs his arms around his legs and rocks softly. he’s crying, softly so, but there’s no mistaking the tears on his cheeks. “i tried—s’hard to not, but…but you’re…no, i don’t want you to feel bad, it’s my own fault, oh, god, i should’ve told you months ago, but i couldn’t, i couldn’t do it, but you—i can’t, i have to tell you, you deserve to know, and i’m…i’m in love with you. i’m sorry.”
jimin blinks. “please…stop saying that.”
taehyung sniffles, lips quivering. “‘m sorry.”
“no,” jimin says, shaking his head. “no, stop.”
“i will,” taehyung says, voice breathless and broken. he’s never sounded this sad. “i’ll stop. i promise, i’m trying. i don’t wanna lose you, jimin,” he adds, almost muted.
jimin can’t breathe. taehyung’s—saying he’s in love with him. he starts laughing, hysterically feeling out of his own body, not real, nothing’s real, taehyung can’t—can’t be in love with him, it’s not happening, he can’t breathe from laughing, and it sounds so mean and robotic, not a real laugh, some hollow sound from deep within.
taehyung sobs, doesn’t meet jimin’s eyes. “i’m sorry,” he says, weeping, “i’m sorry, so sorry, but you—you deserve to know, i’m sorry it took so long to tell you, please don’t…please don’t hate me, jimin. i don’t think i could stand it, not…not again, ‘m sorry.”
“no,” jimin says again, only word he apparently fucking knows now. “no, no. no, taehyung, you can’t—no, i’m in love with you.”
taehyung blinks at him, flushed. “what?” he whispers, voice cracking.
“i’m,” jimin tries again, “i’m in love with you.”
taehyung closes his eyes. “i said,” he whispers—whimpers, “i said i’m sorry, please…please, don’t. don’t, you don’t have to—don’t be mean. please, won’t you not be mean.”
it’s jimin’s turn to whimper, head shaking on its own and tears spilling out. “no,” he comes again, “no, taehyung, tae—baby, tae, i…i’m in love with you. i’m so in love with you, i’ve been in love with you for months, and i’ve—tried to move on and get better, i have, i did, ‘s why the whole summer…please, stop—stop saying sorry, please.”
when jimin chances a glance at taehyung, he looks close to fainting. his mouth is hanging open, tongue lolling out to wet his lips slowly, and he stares at jimin. “you—?”
jimin exhales. “you?”
in less than a second, taehyung zooms forward and pulls jimin into a suffocating hug. “no way,” he breathes into his hair, clinging onto him so tightly jimin almost can’t breathe. he’s glad for the feeling, needing a reminder he’s still awake and alive. “no way, you can’t—not my jiminie can’t–”
jimin sniffles out a laugh, burying his face in taehyung’s shoulder and tightening his arms around him. he’s almost bawling now, everything so surreal he feels his hands trembling. “no way you–”
“you can’t,” taehyung comes again, voice mumbled against the crown of jimin’s head. it doesn’t sound like he’s talking to jimin. “you can’t—you’re so much better, and you—what about that boy?”
“there wasn’t any boy,” jimin says, a whisper into taehyung’s shirt. he can’t look at him. his voice wavers, “it was—you.”
taehyung pulls away, holds jimin by the shoulders. he’s shaking his head slowly, “no way.”
jimin offers a small, tearful smile, nods, “yes way.”
“god,” he breathes, still shaking his head. “god, no. no way.”
jimin reaches up to cup his face gently, stroking his thumbs over his cheeks. “tae,” he whispers. “did you—mean it?”
taehyung’s lips part and jimin hears how he sucks in a breath, nods slowly. “yes.”
“then can i–” jimin tries, clears his throat and sniffles. “can i kiss you?”
“please,” taehyung whispers, already letting his eyes flutter shut.
jimin surges forward and locks his lips to taehyung’s, close-mouthed and gentle. he keeps the pressure firm, and easily they melt into each other, just like always, taehyung climbing into jimin’s lap and licking needily into his mouth, pulls away and mumbles, “can’t –” into jimin’s skin, trailing soft kisses up his jawline, “believe – this – is true.” jimin smiles into the kiss, so giddy he almost can’t kiss him properly, and everything is soon so wet from the way they’re both crying.
“god, i’ve been so stupid,” jimin mumbles, tilting taehyung’s head by the neck to kiss him again. it’s sloppy, no finesse but all feeling, so easily finding back home in each other. “so stupid.”
“no,” taehyung says, opens his mouth and just sucks on jimin’s bottom lip. “no, we’ve both…i was so scared. stupid.”
“you’re so beautiful,” jimin murmurs, kissing taehyung again softly before pulling away to look into his eyes. they’re glazed over and shiny with tears, mirroring how jimin’s own feel. he breathes in again, “so, so beautiful, tae. and so smart. you’re s’perfect.”
he turns pink, looks down at his lap to shy his eyes away from the attention. “no,” he whispers. “shh. you’re perfect.”
“i’m banal,” jimin says, mouth falling open again. “and you’re…art, baby.” flushes, “can i—call you that?”
taehyung hums pleasedly, worrying his lip between his teeth. he looks up at jimin breathlessly, nodding, “yeah. yeah, oh my god, wanna be your baby. s’bad. please.”
“my baby,” jimin says, cheeks hurting from smiling. his head’s spinning. he leans forward and hovers right in front of taehyung. he whispers into his mouth, “my baby,” before kissing him again.
taehyung groans into it. “yours,” he whimpers quietly. “i love you s’much. my jiminie.”
jimin thinks kissing taehyung for the rest of forever would be quite perfect. isn’t sure he can imagine something he could ever want more, except maybe just life with him. he kisses him till his lips are numb, whole body feelingless, till all that’s left is the slick, wet slide of their mouths. kisses him till his tears are all dried and gone, eyes burning from it now, and head aching. kisses him till he can barely stay awake anymore, half falling asleep with taehyung sprawled on top of him. like that, they tumble down horizontally and fall asleep together, all cuddled up so close they’re more one entity than two, melting together and finding healing in each other.
they wake up still entangled, taehyung’s warm body enveloped around jimin’s. jimin wakes up first, stirring gently, and feels unsettled at the unfamiliar weight next to him, but then it all comes back—not that it helps settling any unease, moreso making him even more confused. taehyung’s in his bed, features soft in sleep, head tucked close to jimin’s skin. he looks at him, heart skipping and breath catching.
he flashes back, taehyung’s voice, i’m in love with you. jimin had been a dick, so stunned he just left him hanging, unresponsive and then laughing—but, finally, taken the leap and confessed back. as he should’ve done months ago. he flushes remembering kissing him, fingers coming up to press lightly to his lips just to feel if they’re still puffy, can’t believe it’s real, but taehyung’s right there, warm and slack and sleeping.
jimin just looks at him, which might be creepy, but he’s so endeared he can’t make himself look away.
taehyung comes to slowly, eyelids starting to flutter gently before finally blinking open, eyes so wide and confused. he nestles closer to jimin instinctively, yawns and lets his eyes close again. after a moment, his voice comes sleep-rough and cracking, “‘s—jimin?”
“mm, baby,” jimin murmurs, head spinning from getting to call him that. he’s going to need to run four marathons straight to ever get down from this euphoria. “g’morning.”
“morning,” taehyung mumbles, sighs out a yawn and lets his head flop back on jimin’s chest. “how’d you sleep?”
“better than i have in weeks,” jimin says honestly. he lets one hand come to card through taehyung’s hair, gently so. he plays with it as he asks the question back, “how about you?”
“good,” he says, lets out a tiny, high-pitched sound. “real good. you’re clingy.”
jimin bats at him gently. “shut up,” he mumbles, embarrassed. “so are you.”
“mmm, didn’t say it’s bad.”
“good,” jimin says. he ruffles taehyung’s hair, then holds his hand out for taehyung to grab, lace their fingers together. he gives it a squeeze, everything in his heart so fucking soft and overflowing. “can i–” he begins, kisses taehyung’s cheek, “can i take you out?”
taehyung whines, content and soft. “you mean—like a date? a real date?”
“a real date,” jimin agrees. “i really—oh, god, i wanna take you on a date so bad.”
“i want you to take me on a date so bad,” taehyung sighs back, pink lips parted slightly and tongue coming out to wet them gently. “i wanna date you so bad.”
jimin’s buzzing. “okay,” he says. “okay. do you have plans today?”
“i’m all yours,” he says back happily, voice dizzied. “i just—need to get to my room, wanna get dressed, but…date?”
“i’m going to date the fuck out of you, kim taehyung.”
they make it out of bed after a while and a round of lazy making out, taehyung even needier when soft from sleep. it’s so tempting to laze around all day, just the two of them and a stack of pancakes, but jimin’s determined to take him out. they can always have the idle mornings—now, he wants to do everything he’s been dreaming about the last year.
he rushes taehyung out of his place to get back to his own room and change into something else, then makes it to the bathroom to doll himself up. now that it’s real he doesn’t have to feel guilty for spending a long time deciding the best outfit. he goes for something simple, still, black jeans with a large belt and white t-shirt, tucked in, then styles it with chunky rings, a denim jacket, and doc martens.
he keeps his make-up simple as well, earthy shades and a clear, glitter lipgloss just because. his lips are one of his best features, thick and puffy, and the gloss draws attention to them in the best way.
are you ready?
get ur pretty ass over here im so excited
jimin doesn’t need to be told twice. grabs his things and hurries out, makes it to taehyung’s place at a record time. taehyung’s already waiting in the hall outside his door, and jimin’s mind blanks as he gets closer and takes in his appearance.
he’s really outdone himself this time. a red t-shirt knotted at the front so it’s cropped, showing off a sliver of his soft stomach. he’s paired it with dusty rose mom jeans, a large statement belt, and an oversized white jacket. around his neck hang multiple golden chains with heart lockets, and on his feet he’s got heeled ankle boots in a shiny white. jimin can’t help himself, leaning up to kiss him and telling him, “you look so fucking good.”
taehyung flushes at the attention, kissing jimin back softly. “you too,” he says when pulling away again and letting his eyes scan over jimin’s body. “you’re so hot.”
jimin doesn’t even try fighting the dazed smile on his lips, just tugs taehyung closer and laces their hands together. “let’s go.”
“let’s go,” he agrees.
jimin takes him to the MMCA, obviously. it takes a little while to get there, but it doesn’t matter because he gets to hold taehyung’s hand, and he’s so excited—even the trip there is part of the date. they talk the whole way, too, taehyung so excited and updating jimin on some of his favourite parts of the current exhibitions, because he’s already been once, but he’d still been delighted when jimin suggested it, lighting up and saying he couldn’t wait.
he laughs a little at how stupid they’ve both been, groans that they could’ve been doing this for ages, but jimin insists that this way it’s more worth it. they’ve had to wait for it, suffer for it, and everyone knows pain makes the pleasure more real.
taehyung bats him away and says it’s fucking bullshit, but they can’t change the past, “so i guess we just have a lot of making up to do.”
“guess we do,” jimin smiles at him fondly, leaning in for another kiss.
“and a lot of making out,” taehyung grins smugly, locking his mouth to jimin’s before he can get out a reply.
the museum is great. jimin has never been before, but he’d read reviews and taehyung’s own reaction was something to go by as well—so he’d figured it’d be all right, but it’s still different being there and standing under the high arches, phenomenal lighting and listening to taehyung read aloud the little information plaques next to each piece. he pulls his phone out to snap a photo when he’s not looking, engrossed in a specific piece, and just as he’s taken a photo, taehyung turns his head around, so the next is blurry from movement, and finally one with taehyung blushing and smiling instinctively as he realises jimin’s photographing him.
“you look so good,” jimin says, putting his phone back in his pocket and stepping closer to wrap his arms around taehyung in a backhug.
taehyung sighs happily and lets jimin hug him. he asks softly, “how do you like this place?”
“it’s nice,” jimin says, unwrapping his arms from around taehyung to take his hand instead. they start trailing further in, “and you like it.”
“i do,” taehyung agrees. “a lot. like you.”
“i like you, too.”
they spend a couple of hours, strolls around unhurriedly and talking quietly about art. taehyung goes on a tangent about a big project he has coming up after christmas, and how he’s pretty excited about it even though he’s not sure yet what to write about. he’s been thinking about klimt, just because he loves him so much, but he’s worried he should try something he’s never worked a lot with before for a better learning experience.
jimin hums, can’t make the decision for taehyung, but decides, “i think you should do what feels right. if you wanna do klimt, do klimt.”
out of the museum, taehyung looks at jimin expectantly. he asks, “what now?”
“now,” jimin says, lacing their fingers together again and tugging taehyung with him, “let’s find somewhere to get ice cream.”
taehyung beams back at him. sighs, “you know me so well.”
jimin grins and pecks a kiss to his lips, and pulls him with him to find a nice, quiet ice cream parlour. it doesn’t take too long, streets full of small vendors and cafés, so they walk up to one that looks cute and scan the menu with flavours.
“i want strawberry,” taehyung says immediately, so cute. “of course. and, uh, i’d also like the apple and salted caramel.”
he gets that, scooped up in a cone with whipped cream and two chocolate wafer sticks. jimin gets chocolate and cookie dough in a cup, pays for the both of them, and trails back outside with taehyung to find somewhere to sit down.
taehyung spots an empty bench and pulls him towards it, plopping down. he picks up one of the chocolate sticks and swipes up whipped cream with it, wrapping his lips around it and taking a bite. he chews happily, swallows, and shoots a smile jimin’s way. “this is really nice.”
“it is,” jimin says, scooping up some of his chocolate ice cream with the tiny, pink plastic spoon. he licks it off slowly, humming around it. “you’re so cute.”
today was so so nice
thank u so much for taking me out
i had the best time ever
thank u so much for letting me take u out
i feel like im dreaming
it doesnt feel real haha
i rly like + love u so much its stupid
im so in love with u jesus christ
dont do this im gonna start crying
so am i ur boyfriend now?
DO U WANNA BE MY BOYFRIEND JIMIN
PLEAASE SAY YES HHHH
god be my boyfriend
let me be ur boyfriend
i love uuuu
I LOVE YOU
they go out again the next weekend, this time on taehyung’s request. he calls him up to ask, voice a little slurred through the phone, but sweet as he asks if he has plans. jimin doesn’t, not anything he can’t put on hold, so saturday night takes him to the movie theatre on the most cliché popcorn-and-coke date imaginable.
jimin loves it.
(so he’s a sap at heart, sue him. he hates it, too.)
the movie’s pretty shit, actually—a supposed comedy but with half of the jokes falling flat, so jimin spends most of the time squeezing taehyung’s thigh and leaning in to kiss him. they try to keep it quiet, but taehyung’s so messy, so receive some angry hushes which make them pull away, blushing and trying not to giggle at each other.
outside, taehyung tucks jimin’s hand in his own and swings their arms. “that,” he says. “was pretty bad. i’m sorry.”
“don’t be.” jimin’s all smiles, reaching up for another kiss. he doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of kissing him. his boyfriend. “it was pretty bad, though.”
“straight, too,” taehyung adds, mouth curling up.
“tragically straight,” jimin says, smirks as he pulls taehyung’s hand up to press a kiss to his palm. “glad we can’t relate.”
“yeah,” taehyung sighs. he’s quiet for a moment, then tilts his head and catches jimin’s eyes, “do you wanna get something to eat? or,” he leans in close to whisper the next part, “– wanna just go back and fuck me now?”
he pulls back and smiles innocently, so sweet, at jimin. jimin suffers, fights not to groan at taehyung’s words, the promise there. he wraps his arm around him in a half-hug and starts walking, decides two can play this game, “let’s go get some food, yeah? you’ll need the energy.”
taehyung almost whines, cuddling into jimin as he guides him. they make it to a downtown restaurant taehyung’s been to a couple of times before, nice food at a decent price, so he leads them inside and smiles as they’re showed to a table at the back.
jimin’s teasing the whole time, obvious comments and making a show of licking his lips, delighting in the way it’s making taehyung blush at him. it’s his own damn fault, though, for bringing it up outside the cinema, so jimin only thinks of it as payback—and he loves the game of it, the slow buildup and tension so thick it’s almost suffocating.
eventually, taehyung sighs out longsufferingly and looks at jimin with pleading eyes. tone borderline begging, “can we go back?”
jimin grins at him, reaches out and lets their hands tangle atop the table. “yeah,” he says, squeezing. “let’s get back to my place.”
taehyung smiles at him thankfully, and as soon as he’s paid, he grabs jimin by the wrist and starts pulling him in the direction of his flat.
as soon as jimin’s unlocked the door and let them in, taehyung pushes him against the wall to kiss him. “so,” he mumbles, licking needy, “infuriating,” kisses again, “hot—hate you.”
jimin laughs into taehyung’s mouth, hand coming up to curl around his neck and angle it to the right, kissing him back. deep and loud as they hadn’t been allowed in the cinema, takes his time licking softly into taehyung’s mouth—runs the tip of his tongue behind his teeth, sucks his bottom lip between his own and blinks open his eyes to look at him when he bites down gently.
taehyung purrs, surging closer forward to press his mouth to jimin’s. “fuck me, god,” he mumbles, “want you s’bad.”
“cute,” jimin teases, deliberately slowing down the kiss, just soft pecks now. “so impatient.”
“you’re—hot,” taehyung whines. “saw you and just—god, so hot. fuck me, jimin. please.”
“all you had to say, pretty,” jimin relents, because he’s human, too.
they stumble to his bedroom, taehyung ripping at the buttons of his sheer shirt to get it off. he pulls at his lacy bralette, too, but jimin pushes at his hands to have him keep it on. taehyung’s eyes shut and he groans, nods at jimin understandingly, and lets him push him back on the bed still in his pants.
jimin pulls his own shirt over his head and throws it aside, smirks down at taehyung’s happy sigh reaching out to touch his abs. taehyung’s got such a thing for muscles, jimin flashing back to one particular hookup where he’d begged him to fuck him against the wall, wanting to feel small and so turned on by the strength required.
jimin had indulged him, of course, like he indulges him now when leaning down to unbuckle his belt and push it out of the way, then gets to work on getting his pants zipped down and pushed slowly down his thighs. that exposes his lace panties, matching the bralette gorgeously, and jimin sucks in a sharp breath, trailing his fingertips over his hipbone reverently. he breathes out, “baby.”
taehyung whines, clings his fingers in the sheets. “‘s good?” he gets out, blinking up at jimin. “wanted to—hoped we could…”
jimin’s quick to soothe, hand caressing his skin softly. “you’re so perfect,” he tells him. “you look so good. fill these out so nicely,” he tacks on, cupping taehyung’s dick through the fabric, “– huh?”
taehyung blushes and looks away. with no force he mumbles, “i hate you.”
“sure you do,” jimin grins, pulling taehyung’s pants all off his legs and throwing them aside. he stands up to get out of his own as well, settling back when just in boxers. he leans down and hovers over taehyung, kisses his lips gently. softly, he starts trailing kisses down his neck, too, sucks a purple hickey into his throat, pressing an open-mouthed, satisfied kiss to it before moving on. “gonna take my time with you, pretty,” he murmurs into the skin over taehyung’s collarbone, pressing a kiss to it after. “let me take care of you.”
taehyung’s already slipping, sighs out a soft sound and nods. “mm, please.”
“i’ll be good to you,” he whispers again, leaning up to hover so their mouths are just barely touching. “if you’ll let me. will you?”
taehyung whines, nods again. “please,” he mumbles, “yes. please, make me feel good.”
jimin closes the distance and presses his lips to taehyung’s, softly letting the kiss turn deeper and messier, but he remains in control, drawing the best sounds from taehyung. he starts mumbling softly, mouthing back at jimin’s lips but not kissing properly, tongue lolling out a little sloppy.
he kisses his way down his body, chest and stomach and thighs. taehyung’s straining in his panties, so eventually jimin takes pity on him, cups him and squeezes just once, then pulls them down and gets them off, throws them behind him. “pretty,” he praises, wrapping his hand around the base of his cock and running his thumb up the length. taehyung cries weakly, hips stuttering just slightly. he’s too obedient to fuck into jimin’s hand, though, knows to wait patiently. “eager baby.”
taehyung just nods, a little dazed, nods and nods, breathes out, “i want you.”
jimin smirks and tsks gently, shaking his head at taehyung’s desperation. he stands back up to get out of his own underwear as well, then kneels down and starts jerking himself off slowly. he moans, eyes on taehyung’s, and lets his mouth fall open obscenely to watch taehyung’s eyes widen so desperately, tongue licking out again and again, wetting his lips.
“turn around,” he tells him, letting go of himself to give taehyung’s thigh a squeeze. “hands and knees, doll.”
taehyung scrambles, gets turned around and arches his back nicely, pushing his ass up further trying to look pretty for jimin. and he does, beautiful and desperate to be touched, pushes his head into the pillows. jimin cups his ass and squeezes, then he grabs the bottle of lube and squeezes some into his palm. he warms it up between his hands for a while, then puts them back on taehyung’s ass, just touches him everywhere, smearing it on him till his skin glistens. his thighs tremble slightly, pleads out for jimin.
jimin shushes him, squeezes more lube into his hands to coat his fingers thickly. he teases, just runs his finger around taehyung’s hole. round and round, slide slick from lube, but not digging in. taehyung whines, clenches, hole fluttering so cute and desperate. “please,” he mumbles into a pillow, wet from how he’s drooling already. “please, jimin.”
“shh, baby,” jimin hums. he spreads taehyung’s cheeks apart, then lets go and watches them bounce, letting his thumb rest just on his rim, still not pressing in. he toys with the skin, circles his pad around as taehyung grows more desperate, hips bucking.
“please,” he comes again, voice cracking down and sounding wet, “p-please, jiminie, please. finger me, please.”
“oh, all right then,” jimin relents, lets his hand spank down gently on taehyung’s ass before pressing his lubed index finger inside slowly. taehyung groans out, a tiny thank you following, and jimin slowly, torturously starts fucking his one finger in and out.
he gives him four thrusts, then pulls out again and runs it teasingly around again, taehyung whimpering for him. “please,” he mumbles again, dizzy, “please, god. g-god, i’ll be good.”
jimin pushes back in without warning, two fingers now, and gently starts fucking taehyung open. he finds his prostate and presses into it, massaging for just a second, then carefully avoids touching it as he continues pushing his fingers in and out.
taehyung’s drooling sloppy on the pillow, mumbling out little thank you’s, ass clenching around jimin’s fingers.
jimin pulls out again, grabs the lube bottle and presses it to taehyung’s skin, squeezing its content directly into him. lots of it, squelching and wet and leaking all over, he puts the container back down and coos at the way taehyung’s breathing is coming in pants, hole fluttering and so, so shiny, drooling lube.
“oh, baby,” he teases, digs his thumb inside and plays around, “you’re so messy now. how’s it feel inside?”
taehyung chokes, “‘s—god, ‘m so…jimin, ‘m so wet. ‘s filthy.”
“yeah, pretty,” he agrees, fucking three fingers inside of him and pressing against his prostate harshly, massaging tiny circles to get taehyung to moan out in the best way, so lost and hazed already. “yeah, you’re wet and messy. just like you like to be, right?”
“yes,” taehyung spits, begs, rutting his hips back up to get jimin’s fingers deeper, desperate to be ruined. “o-oh, yes.”
“my baby,” jimin coos, spreads his cheeks apart again and laughs at how he’s clenching. “oh, how do you want to get fucked today?”
taehyung pants. “by—you,” he says, voice muted from embarrassment, “god, by you. you, you—you, any way you wanna, just—jimin.”
jimin dips his fingers back inside and curls them, hooked to have taehyung whimpering. he teases, “baby doesn’t even have any requests?”
“baby doesn’t–” taehyung whimpers, “oh, jimin. i want you to—come in me.”
jimin’s breath stills for a second, but he keeps his fingers massaging gently. “yeah?”
“‘m clean,” he whispers, twists his neck around to look up at jimin with so wide eyes. “haven’t—god, haven’t, nobody since you. just you, please, if you’re–”
jimin has to fight not to blank out, mind caught on taehyung’s words. jimin hasn’t fucked anyone since taehyung, and he didn’t fuck anyone else while that was going on, either, but the fact taehyung apparently hasn’t either—he stills his breathing. “i’m negative,” jimin promises. “checked, there’s nothing. i can—if you want, oh, baby.”
taehyung nods, eyes growing starry, and he lets his head fall back down on the pillow. “please,” he whispers, voice rough, “please, please. that’s all, do—what you want, i want—i want anything, everything, just you.”
jimin’s so softened, in love and terrified. he pulls his fingers out again and squeezes taehyung’s ass, a cheek in each hand reverently, and hands out a quick couple of spanks just because. “let me fuck you, baby.”
taehyung moans, drawn-out and needy, so gravelly from the bottom of his throat. “thank you.”
he takes his time turning him over, spreading him out on his back on the bed. spends ages kissing up his thighs, his stomach, leaving purple marks all over his hipbones and ignoring his cock, so hard and aching red, taehyung sniffling out cute, little sobs as jimin pecks kisses all over tummy. “jimin, ‘m so hard.”
“you are,” jimin agrees, licking a stripe up his stomach. he presses a kiss to the tip of his dick, teasing. “so, so hard, taehyung. your pretty dick, does it hurt?”
taehyung sobs. “please.”
“your pretty, big dick, tae.” he kisses his thigh again, then leans up to kiss him, mouths locked together and taehyung licking needy against jimin’s lips. he’s too desperate to kiss back properly, just mouthing dumbly. “you’re so big, begging to come. want me to fuck you now?”
taehyung’s eyes cross and he whimpers, nodding eagerly. “yes,” mumbles, “make me come, make me—wanna make you come.”
jimin finally settles back on his knees between taehyung’s spread legs. he teases a finger around his rim again, and this time taehyung really does tear up, spills down his cheeks and he chokes out a sob, so lost and needy now. jimin takes pity on him and grabs his thighs roughly, lines up, and finally pushes inside of him.
taehyung moans from start till he’s fully inside, then it melts into a high-pitched, stuttery whimper. he gurgles out a plea when jimin slowly bottoms out, grinds in again.
“jimin,” he falls apart, fists clenching in the sheets and tongue lolling out, “god—fuck me.”
he bottoms out again slowly, fucks in a little harsher this time knowing taehyung loves the stretch and pain and roughness. he lets his hands come up to his hips again, holding him up in place as he starts fucking him better, taehyung’s eyes rolling back for every thrust, whimpering out soft sighs, “yes, y-es, yes-ah.”
“are you gonna come?” jimin teases, lets go of his right hip to toy two fingers at the head of his cock. “baby looks pretty desperate.”
taehyung sobs, squirming on the sheets. “i—i, no,” whispers, so submissive, “– not till you—you tell me.”
“aw,” jimin coos, rewards him by digging his thumb into the slit and stroking him. “what if i want you to come, darling?”
“then,” taehyung whimpers, nods his head, “then i’ll c-come. now and now and you—just say. say when i come.”
he’s always so desperate to be good, loves getting orders and following them. sighs as jimin fucks into him roughly again, slipping on the sheets and purring, tongue slipping out pink and wet again. mumbling, “ah, ah,” and nodding so happily.
“come,” jimin orders. “tae, baby, come then. first time now, come for me.”
taehyung groans, eyes falling open and staring into jimin’s. jimin plays nice, fucks in deep and wraps his hand around his cock to stroke him off, fucks him through it as taehyung comes for the first time, body frozen up for a second and slack the next, hot cum covering his stomach.
“that’s good,” jimin praises, bottoming out and grinding in slowly again. “that’s good, baby, how’s that feel?”
“hhh,” taehyung whimpers, thighs trembling so sensitive and dick twitching now that jimin keeps toying with the head. “hhh’s good, baby’s good.”
“baby’s good,” jimin agrees. “you wanna stay on your back now, my little pillow princess? or do you want to get on your knees?”
taehyung whimpers, flushes even deeper at the pet name, lip quivering. “i—i’m your…‘m soft, i can’t–”
“can’t hold yourself up?” jimin teases, drives back in forcefully so taehyung gasps. “thought so. cute baby, just wanna be treated and fucked. does it hurt?” he asks, stroking taehyung’s cock.
taehyung whimpers, trying to inch away from jimin’s touch, hopelessly. “mmm,” he mumbles. “‘s—‘s good, ah, jimin, please.”
jimin fucks him again, hard and fast, taehyung’s body bouncing on the sheets. he grabs onto the sheets for balance, head tipping from one side to the other, whining whenever jimin fucks into him. his dick grows hard again quickly, so red and needy, whole body flushed a cute pink.
“you’re gonna come when i come,” he tells him, voice matter-of-fact and almost neutral. he drives inside harshly, filling taehyung up like he loves to be full. “yeah?”
taehyung sighs happily. “yes,” he mumbles. “when you—when you, i’ll be—o-oh, i’ll be full.”
“that’s right, baby,” jimin praises, leans down and kisses the tip of his nose. “gonna be so full and sloppy. gonna seep out of you, that’s what you want, yeah?”
“mmhm,” his jaw’s slack, cherry lips parted as he moans. “mm, wanna be—wanna be leaking, jiminie, yours. ‘m yours, wanna be—yours, baby.”
jimin fucks in deep, groan guttural as he bottoms out again. his dick’s just catching on taehyung’s rim, red and puffy, thrusts back inside and comes soon after, mind tumbling low, low, low, hold on taehyung’s hips tightening as he comes inside of him.
“i, ji-jimin, ‘m –” taehyung’s voice slurs desperately as he comes too, second time and must hurt now, body trembling as jimin pulls out slowly. cum leaks out of him, and jimin quickly pushes two fingers inside of him to play with it. “oh, baby.”
taehyung’s eyes roll back when jimin presses his finger into his prostate. “ji—min.”
“baby, baby,” jimin’s voice is clouded with praise, digging two thumbs into taehyung’s hole and spreading him apart. “oh, this is seeping out. how’s it feel?”
he sobs, squirms. “please,” his voice is muted, “o-oh, jimin, wanna—wanna see.”
jimin’s mind blanks. “oh?” he asks.
“please,” he mumbles, mind fucked so dim there’s no inhibitions left, moans high-pitched and needy, “please, please, take a—take a picture, jiminie, feel so, ‘m feel so…oh, ‘m filthy. wanna be—wanna be, o-ah.”
jimin lets go of him, smears both his hands on his thighs to get lube and cum off as well as he can before reaching out to grab the nearest phone. he quickly turns it off silence and swipes open the camera, snapping a couple of pictures so taehyung hears the shutter sound. he whimpers, then sighs contentedly. mumbles, “thank you.”
“you’re welcome, baby,” jimin tells him, puts the phone aside again and leans forward. he pushes three fingers inside of taehyung, plays around with his hole, so loose and wet now. “so that was two times, right? how many do we want today? three? four?”
taehyung’s wriggling on the sheets, dick twitching pathetically in oversensitivity. he whimpers, “f-four. five, please, ‘m yours.”
“five,” jimin considers, impressed. he teases two fingers at the head of his dick again, grins at the way he sucks in a breath and fights to not squirm away. “that’s a lot, baby. gonna let me make you come so much?”
“yes,” he stutters, “anything. green. anything, anything.”
“you don’t wanna think, maybe?” trails a finger down the length of his dick, back up, swirls it around the tip.
“mmm,” taehyung mumbles, “don’t wanna—oh, wanna be yours. fucked—dumb, just yours.”
“mindless baby,” jimin praises. “let me make you come again then. for me.”
“for you,” taehyung echoes back, sighing so happily when jimin hooks his thumbs in his hole and spreads him apart, leans down while letting saliva gather at the back of his mouth and slowly drip out, into taehyung.
taehyung’s legs kick when he feels it, drones out a moan stupidly, whole body trembling. jimin just laughs, digs his finger in to push the spit into him. “filthy slut baby.”
taehyung nods, drooling all over himself. “that’s—me.”
jimin grins, sharp, then hooks three fingers inside of taehyung and rubs circles into his prostate. he keeps the pressure there, firm and insistent, massaging taehyung till he’s coming again, cock weakly spitting out drops of cum and whimpering so lost at the overstimulation. “baby,” jimin praises, jerking his cock off sweetly too, “baby’s being so good, yes. coming just for me.”
“hhh,” he tries, and again, words all gone now, “hhh.”
jimin’s so mean now, wants to break taehyung apart and build him up afterwards, his most beautiful baby, and pulls his fingers out, slaps his thigh quickly before wrapping his lips around the head of taehyung’s soft cock.
taehyung’s legs kick, hips squirming, eyes rolling back as he cries out a hoarse scream. “ji-oh.”
jimin swirls his tongue around the head, presses a kiss to it, wraps his lips around again and hollows his cheeks to suck gently. he keeps his eyes cast upwards and on taehyung’s face, puts on a show of shiny, full lips, tongue swirling around and around the bulbous head, almost smirking as taehyung pants and has to close his eyes. he pulls away and taps it against his pursed lips, mumbles, “mmm,” voice rough now, “oh, you’re so good in my mouth, baby. stretch my lips so well, yeah? big and dumb, best cock. baby’s got the best cock.”
taehyung can’t even reply, hazed whimpers falling from him and undulating his hips softly, desperate for more but so, so sensitive already, hurting the way jimin knows he loves the best. he wraps his lips around him again and goes down, down, tongue flattened as he bobs and swallows, makes taehyung palpitate even more. he’s sobbing so broken, whimpering little wordless sounds.
jimin pulls off again, licks a stripe over the head and presses a kiss to it. he gathers saliva in his mouth again, spits it out on the slit and smirks when taehyung sobs, tells him that’s filthy, he’s his filthy baby, takes him in his mouth again and blows him till he can’t help but come another time.
“four,” jimin rasps, sitting back on his knees. “or what? you keeping count, angel?”
taehyung’s eyes flutter slowly, opening up doe-like and lost. “f–” he tries, licking out at his lips, “f-four. four? f-four, i don’t—mhm, ji-jim’love.”
“i think it was four,” jimin considers. “you’re doing so well, love. so, so good for me, yeah.”
“what do you say i fuck you again?” he asks, trailing a teasing finger up the side of his body. “don’t you want that? i think i’m ready again, you get me so hard, baby. what d’you say? do you want that?”
taehyung licks at his lips so cutely, mouthing for words but finally just nodding. he gazes into jimin’s eyes, starry and mesmerised, “p-ple—ah.”
“best baby,” he praises him, kisses his lips softly. licks into his mouth so gently and fondness blooms at how taehyung’s mouthing back to the best of his abilities, moaning needy for more. “let me love you. love you so much.”
his legs are still spread apart, and jimin digs a finger into him. his hole sucks him in so easily, fucked loose and so sloppy with cum and lube and spit, but still jimin picks the bottle up again and squeezes more onto his fingers, fucking them inside of taehyung and spreading apart. he’s so lost his hips just twitch gently, stomach flexing.
jimin stops teasing him, handles him well and rough and aligns his cock with his hole again, fucks in experimentally. if he’d thought he’d sucked his fingers in, it’s nothing compared to this now—so desperate, he pulls jimin in with a whiny moan, rutting back to get him even deeper. it’s wet and sounds disgusting, but so, so hot, taehyung still clenching tight and warm around him, head thrown to the side and drooling a bigger spot on the pillow.
“oh,” jimin groans, bottoming out, “– tae.”
he whimpers. somehow fights through everything for words again, “fuck me—jimin.”
jimin can’t say no to that. he pulls out and pushes back in, almost coos at the way taehyung’s crying again, tears softly streaking down his cheeks as jimin gives him what he wants. fucks him well-paced and precisely, angles his hips so every thrust makes him whine for more, one hand coming up to twist and pull at his nipples through the bralette. he goes cross-eyed, then they roll back, and he’s gurgling again, dropped so deep now the only thing he says is yours.
“mine,” jimin says back, fucking him full and deep, “my love. my love. my own.”
taehyung comes then, though this time there’s barely any proof of it, just his body going rigid for a second and then slackening even further. he licks his lips and rasps, “m-more.”
jimin gives him everything. pushes his heart through his throat and into the air, lets taehyung breathe it in through every gasp of breath.
when he comes, it’s with a stutter of his hips and another love confession falling from his lips. “i love you,” he breathes, “god, i love you.”
taehyung comes with him, a final time, slack on the bed and mind hazed. jimin pulls out gently, presses down to kiss taehyung. he doesn’t kiss back, can’t, but sighs happily against jimin’s lips, which is all he needs for now. “did so well,” he tells him, hand stroking through his hair softly, “so, so well, baby. so beautiful. let me take care of you.”
he mumbles something incoherent, hums out another sigh.
jimin presses another kiss to his lips and gets out of bed, gets to the bathroom. he soaks a washcloth and wipes himself clean, washes it again and returns to taehyung. he’d love to take a bath with him, massage his scalp gently and wash his hair, but he’s not got a tub so this will have to do right now. he wipes him down gently, muttering praises and love into his skin as he gets him clean. “i’ll be right back,” he reassures before leaving again, dropping the cloth in the bathroom sink and going to the kitchen for water.
he comes back and helps taehyung up, makes him drink some water, and plays his hand through his hair. “god, you’re so good. so good, baby.”
taehyung licks his lips and smiles up at him, slowly coming back to himself. “love you,” he mumbles, accepting another drink of water. “s’much. s’good.”
jimin boops his nose gently and puts the glass down by the side of the bed. “let me take you to the couch,” he says when taking in the sight of the bed. “will you let me?”
in response, taehyung reaches his arms out and loops them around jimin’s neck. jimin smiles into his hair and lifts him up, carries him bridal-style to the couch and lays him down gently. he finds a blanket, then lies next to taehyung, pulling him close to him and covering them both with the blanket. he nuzzles close, kisses his neck and whispers, “i love you so, so much. how’re you?”
“‘m good,” taehyung’s voice comes dreamily after a beat, “still slow. love you.”
“love you,” jimin echoes. “let’s cuddle. yeah? after, we’ll do whatever you want.”
“chocolate,” taehyung mumbles. “we’ll eat chocolate. ‘n watch a movie.”
“perfect,” jimin returns, kissing him again. he squeezes his hand, strokes his thumb over his palm. “just like you.”
“so,” taehyung says, and claps his hands together softly. he looks at jimin expectantly, “i was thinking.”
“mm,” jimin hums, kisses his boyfriend on the mouth. “careful with that, it’s dangerous.”
“shut up.” taehyung rolls his eyes and bats him away. “you can shoot me down, but i really want a tattoo. have for some time, but…well.” he pauses, flushing hesitantly.
“and?” jimin says, nodding encouragingly. “that sounds hot.”
“you know…the kiss,” he goes on. “by klimt.”
“of course i do, baby.” jimin’s secretly been looking at plane tickets to austria, wanting to take taehyung to the belvedere gallery to experience the real thing right in front of him.
“well,” taehyung sighs at himself, “it reminds me of you, obviously. and i love you. and i want it tattooed. and i thought, maybe, we could get matching ones. if you want.”
jimin’s breath gets knocked out, swallows dryly and licks his lips. “oh?”
“i know couple tattoos are a big no,” he rushes out, looking down at his clasped hands. “so just say if it’s dumb.”
“it’s…not dumb.” jimin reaches out to grab his hand. he brings his free hand up to push at taehyung’s chin, tilting his head up to look into his eyes. he gives him a small smile and nod.
“oh…” taehyung’s cheeks puff out from smiling. “it’s not?”
jimin shrugs. “or maybe it is,” he says. “lotsa things are dumb. right? but we do ‘em anyway. pretty dumb falling in love with your best friend and spending a year pining over him.”
taehyung turns pink, looking down again. “i’m your best friend?”
“yes,” jimin says, brings his hand up to kiss his knuckles. “and also my soulmate. so let’s get inked, pretty.”
taehyung sighs out, crawls into jimin’s lap and kisses him dizzy.
it’s ten days later one of jennie’s coworkers has a free spot. she’d recommended lisa, been honest about how she’d be much better with all the colours, so they’d scheduled a time with her instead, and now here they are, taehyung squeezing jimin’s hand tightly with nerves as they enter the small tattoo studio.
“hi,” jimin says, taking lisa’s hand when she reaches out to shake. she’s cute with her straight bangs and baby smile.
it’s same procedure as last time, though this time it takes much longer because the piece is much more detailed. taehyung zones out when he’s in the chair, looking up at jimin all dreamy when the tattoo gun starts buzzing. jimin leans down to tell him in a whisper not to drool everywhere, and taehyung just sets his jaw as his cheeks turn pink.
jimin goes after, taehyung sitting next to him admiring the art piece now immortalised on his lower arm. this one hurts more than the snake had, but it’s nothing he can’t survive. they chit-chat with lisa and each other, taehyung his usual talkative self and telling about why he’s chosen this piece, and why he loves jimin, and asking about lisa’s thoughts on things as well.
they schedule another appointment to come back for touch-ups, and then lisa rattles off the same instructions on care jennie had given jimin months earlier.
out of the studio, they link their hands together. jimin gives taehyung’s a squeeze and steals a glance at him. taehyung’s looking at him, too, so he leans forward to kiss him softly. he mumbles, “i love you.”
“i love you, too,” taehyung echoes back, squeezing jimin’s hand. “so much.”
“thank you for not giving up on me.”
“never.” he pecks his lips again. “i could never.”