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I Am Barrayar (Hear Me Sing)

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“You know, you shouldn’t try to play let’s see who has the most war dead - with a Barrayaran.”

“That wasn’t what I was doing!”

“Do you know what happened to Vorkosigan Vashnoi?”

“No.”

“Look it up but understand that the war isn’t the only reason for the Memorial. Come to it and you’ll understand more what being Barrayar means.”

“You mean Barrayaran?”

“No. Come to the Memorial. Hear the song.”

*

Gregor ~ My mother sang this when I was a child. I recognised the tune but I never remembered the words. When I heard the words when I was older, when I knew more about her life, I understood. I think it gave her strength, gave her hope.

Cordelia ~ When I hear this song I know that I am not Barrayar – that song is all about suffering and pain.

Alys ~ It is not solely about the pain. It is about survival. That is what we did. That is what we do.

Simon ~ You could say we had no choice but to survive but there is always a choice. We find our own ways to sing for something more.

Aral ~ We were always more than Isolation, more than War, more than Survival.  I hear the hope.  Perhaps I made myself hear it at times but I hear it. Padma understood. If he was alive…

Padma ~ Barrayar would want you to hear the hope, would want us all to hear it. At times it was all she had and look where she is now.

~~~

“It’s a strange song to sing on Firsters Day and Memorial Day.  Is it a song or a poem?”

“Both. When you hear it live at the Memorial you’ll get the full force of it. There’s a reason the last verse is in the four languages and believe me you’ll not only hear it, you’ll feel it.”

“Feel what?”

“Barrayar. She’s singing.”

 ~~

I am Barrayar (Hear Me Sing)

 
Spinning in the frozen dark.

Shattered by white fire.

I am betrayed. I am sorrow. 

I am memory. I am silence.

 

But I am here. I am here.

Can you hear?

 

I take from the torment.

I do not give. I do not hide.

 

I am Barrayar

and I am singing.

 

I will hold you,

as I always held you.

 

I will shield you,

as I always shielded you.

 

I will fight for you.

I will always fight for you.

 

I am sword, I am shield.

I am shame, I am pride.

 

And I am here.  Always here.

Do you hear?

 

I am Barrayar

and I am singing.

 

I am Barrayar

and you will hear me

sing.

 

I am Barrayar 

I am Barrayar

I am Barrayar

I am Barrayar