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I don't want the world, I want you.

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The crowded hallways of the hospital were suffocating him as he ran through them. He has been running for few minutes but it felt like eternity. Every cell in his body was burning with fear, with past scars coming to life and with terrifying helplessness. He kept looking for her, the voice that called him to inform him of what he never wanted to hear, ever again. Even if he found her he would never recognize her, he doesn’t know what she looks like, hell he doesn’t know what any of them looked like. He just knows that his mind is racing over every possible scenario that could’ve triggered his …

Magnus


He heard his screams, he knows his voice, and he would recognize the sound of his agony among all the shatters and noise. He ran faster towards the room, he ran because he felt both of their lives were in jeopardy. The screams got louder, the begging was evident in his cries and someone must’ve been hurting him. Alec froze when he saw a woman outside the door covering her mouth with her hand, her tears were falling and she shook her head in fear. He looked at her for a second realizing that she is the one who called him.. but then she ran towards the exit and he stood there blinking.


What was happening?


Another scream came from the room and he immediately turned his head towards it, taking slow steps, fists rubbing his jeans and holding his breath. He saw him, his Magnus, laying in bed screaming, fighting against whatever those nurses were about to do to him, totally unaware of his presence. He saw him, hands tied to the bed to stop him from moving, his body is tensing and his veins were popping. He saw him, eyes closed, tears covering his face, toes curled, breathing frantically, his back is arching as if he is trying to push them away. He was seizing and those two idiots kept on trying to inject him with something..



STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW’.. Alec yelled as he barged in standing in front of the nurse holding the needle. He grabbed her arm and looked at her with all the anger in the world. She tried to push him away but he held tighter almost breaking her wrist. She jerked back furious and scared ...‘What do you think you’re doing!!!’ he yelled again. This time he wasn’t waiting for an answer. He left her wrist and shouted ’Go find a fucking doctor’. The two nurses looked at him in horror and ran out of the room.


Magnus eyes were still closed and posture remained tense but he stopped fighting to get up. He felt hands around his tied wrists trying to set him free. Gentle fingers holding his, a smell of peace surrounding him and a soothing voice whispering. He knew it was safe to open his eyes now but he couldn’t look him in the eyes after what he did. He couldn’t see the disappointment he had caused, again. The fingers moved to his arms, slowly touching him, sending shivers of love and fear towards his already trembling body. Those same hands moved to his shoulders and he was pulled forward into a hard chest, to a heart that beats for him, to the one person he trusts. Alec arms were holding him like he was a piece of him, so precious and treasured. He could feel both of their hearts beating faster than they should. He felt Alec’s hand in his sweaty hair, massaging his scalp, a move he taught his friend years ago. He smiled through his tears and drove his face deeper in Alec’s neck.


Alec knew this will work, just holding him and saying the right things will work. He has done this before and he knew what his friend needed. He just didn’t understand how they ended up here. In a hospital with slit wrists and a panic attack that the nurses couldn’t even notice! He needed answers, he needed to know how he missed the signs, how he let it reach to this point but now wasn’t the time for questions. He pulled Magnus closer circling him with both arms tightly. He kissed the shoulder that was shaking under his lips. He brought a hand to Magnus neck then to his cheek pulling away a little to face him. He still had his eyes closed, his breathing was still a mess but he knew Magnus was aware of his presence now, how couldn’t he not be? ..


Alec brought his other hand to cradle Magnus face gently, fingers slowly wiping away the tears that were still falling. He looked at his face, capturing every detail, making sure he was still alive and breathing. He leaned closer, resting his forehead on the other’s ‘ Open your eyes please’ he whispered low enough for only both of them to hear. Magnus trembling and injured hands moved to rest on Alec’s chest, close to his heart. Searching for his beat with his fingers, clutching at his shirt as he found what he wanted. Alec smiled out of relief because he knows that Magnus will count to ten now, a move he taught his friend years ago. As he heard one, two, three coming through his friend’s lips he sighed, relieved that this is working..


‘Seven .. ei ght .. ni.. nine ‘

Ten’ .. Alec finished for him with a kiss to his already bowed head. His hands bringing Magnus face closer to his and that’s when he opened his eyes. Unsure, scared and embarrassed eyes were piercing into his soul and his only response was to smile again. Smile, because what he felt at this moment didn’t compare to what his friend was feeling. Smile, because his own fear doesn’t matter to what his shaking friend is experiencing. So he smiles..


‘I’m sorry ‘ was whispered through trembling lips and un-ending stream of tears. A face that once was his source of security is now paling in front of him, melting into the darkness and cruelty of this world. Alec smiled again and again, a smile warm enough to reach Magnus bones. He pulled his hands down to capture Magnus hands and bringing them to his lips, leaving two kisses on each of his bandaged wrists and then placing them back to his heart again ‘ I’ve got you ‘ he whispered while pulling his friend into another hug, wrapping his arms around him as he was protecting him from the universe.

The doctor cleared his throat stepping in the room with the two nurses behind him. Alec looked at him with a death stare, still not letting go of Magnus who was clutching to him even harder now. Alec wrapped his arms harder around his friend as if he was sending them a message.. I’m not moving.


I heard there is a problem here ‘ .. The doctor firmly stated.


Ask your nurses what they were doing ‘ .. Alec said while gritting his teeth, he felt Magnus shift in his arms telling him to calm down a bit but he ignored it. He was mad, he was burning with anger at all of this. At the stupid nurses who were trying to inject him while he was panicking, they ignored his screams and didn’t even bother to mutter a word of comfort. He wasn’t gonna let this go. Alec never let anything go. Magnus knew that very well.


They had orders to withdraw blood and give him a stronger antibiotics. Now I understand he was having a panic attack and I apologize for what happened’ The doctor stepped closer in the room and stood close to the bed. He looked at Alec closely and gave him a look of assurance.


‘ his wounds are deep and close to his veins, I guarantee we are not here to harm him or cause him any discomfort. So she will just do her job and we will leave him to rest’ his tone was now more compassionate as he saw the situation closer. He saw the way his patient was hanging to his friend, covering his face in the other man chest hiding completely. Alec nodded at the doctor and the nurse moved to their side. Alec’s attention went to the body that’s attached to his, burying his fingers in Magnus hair and whispering to him to let his arm out. As he felt Magnus fingers tremble against his shirt he added.. ‘ I’m not going anywhere’ and Magnus let his arm stretch towards the nurse immediately.


And Alexander smiled.. a smile that didn’t reach his eyes