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Teachers Only, Please

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God of Eurobeat added American Dream to Teachers only, please!

 

God of Eurobeat: This is a long time coming, I think!!!
God of Eurobeat: Welcome to the teacher's chat, All Might!!!

 

Nyquil: hey now its a party!!!!!

 

American Dream: Ah, thank you, Present Mic! Truth be told, I only just got this account! I suppose that this is the group chat for teachers?

 

Principal Nedzu: Yes, Yagi-san! Think of it as a quick way to get in touch with your colleagues!
Principal Nedzu: Yamada-san came up with the idea following the Kamino debacle, and we only just added you and Ectoplasm!

 

slimefucker 9000: hey. open question.
slimefucker 9000: regarding the chat.

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Go Ahead!

 

slimefucker 9000: okay first of all what the fuck is with your handle.

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: YOURE ONE TO TALK "SLIMEFUCKER"

 

slimefucker 9000: point taken.
slimefucker 9000: my real question was. is there a voice chat?

 

Principal Nedzu: Ah, there isn't, no! I do apologize!

 

slimefucker 9000: :/
slimefucker 9000: then what's even the goddamn point.

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: rip
That's Pussy, Babe!: okay what the fuck
That's Pussy, Babe!: hizashi

 

Nyquil: jgnfkfdrjnfjknf

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: i want a divorce

 

God of Eurobeat: BUT WERE NOT MARRIED

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: Yamada Hizashi, would you make me the happiest man on Earth by becoming Aizawa Hizashi?

 

American Dream: MY GOODNESS!!!

 

slimefucker 9000: fucking plot twist

 

God of Eurobeat: Shouta I.
God of Eurobeat: OF COURSE!!

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: good
That's Pussy, Babe!: i want a divorce

 

high noon: dhhcgjopjgkfhsgsrg

 

Vlad Tepes: Wow mood

 

Rockingbird: Stone cold.

 


 

Nyquil: wanna hear something cursed

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: not really

 

Rockingbird: You know what? Why not. Go ahead, Kayama.

 

Nyquil: twink might

 

Rockingbird: Admission rescinded. Die.

 

God of Eurobeat: EJRRFJNEJDNIJDBBJND3RF
God of Eurobeat: ALL MIGHT'S TINY FORM REALLY IS TWINKISH
God of Eurobeat: LIKE HIS HERO FORM WAS HUNK
God of Eurobeat: AND NOW HE'S A TWINK

 

Vlad Tepes: By Allah, not in this chat you don't

 

American Dream: ...

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: oh no

 

Twink Might: :-)

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: oh No

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Yamada, I blame you for this.

 

God of Eurobeat: that's fair.

 


 

That's Pussy, Babe!: blood kink i stg
That's Pussy, Babe!: come get your sassy lost child.

 

Vlad Tepes: Which one

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: monokuma or w/e his name is

 

Vlad Tepes: You know as well as I do that Monoma is uncontrollable

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: BLOOD KINK

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: i have made a mistake

 

Vlad Tepes: Youre damn right
Vlad Tepes: Now I have to put up with this next time me and ryou fuck

 

Nyquil: wait you two are fucking?

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: YES

 

Vlad Tepes: Weve been dating for three years

 

Nyquil: wow
Nyquil: cant believe blood kink is a furry

 

Vlad Tepes: I am not a furry

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: SEKIJIROU IS DEFINITELY A FURRY
GAAAAAOOOOO: ON OUR FIRST DATE HE ASKED IF I HAD A KNOT

 

Nyquil: holy fucking shit

 

Vlad Tepes: Ryou I trusted you and you do this to me

 

God of Eurobeat: Top Ten Anime Betrayals

 

Twink Might: Ah, that's right! Aizawa, why have you not changed your name to something else?

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: cant be bothered

 

God of Eurobeat: He doesn't know how.

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: you motherfucker

 

Nyquil: top ten anime betrayals

 

Vlad Tepes: Anyways All Might come get your son he Kendou and Rin are in my class' dorms crying over a C-drama

 

Twink Might: Young Midoriya is not my son!!!

 

high noon: yet you instantly knew it was midoriya huh

 

Twink Might: Suddenly, I cannot read

 

Lunchables: that is a mood right there

 


 

 

slimefucker 9000: nedzu you thot there totally is a voicechat.
slimefucker 9000: you just don't want a karaoke night.

 

Principal Nedzu: :3c

 

Nyquil: furry

 

Principal Nedzu: Kayama-san, I am literally an animal.

 

Lunchables: yet you wont tell us what you are???
Lunchables: ive seen american fast food with a better defined species

 

Principal Nedzu: I'm the principal! Let's agree on that for my species!
Principal Nedzu: But, truth be told, I'm not totally sure myself, after all those experiments.

 

Rockingbird: This is absolute bullshit. We've gone this long and we still don't know Nedzu's species.

 

Nyquil: well theres only one way to find out
Nyquil: yo neds
Nyquil: you got a knot

 

Principal Nedzu: All of the sudden, I find myself totally illiterate, so I cannot answer this question.

 

Vlad Tepes: Midnight I am going to murder you and no court of law will find me accountable

 

Nyquil: thats fair

 

Chapter Text

Twink Might: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO DID THIS

 

Lunchables: woah wait what

 

Nyquil: yo toshi whats the problem

 

Twink Might: WHO CHANGED MY RINGTONE
Twink Might: THIS IS MOST INAPPROPRIATE
Twink Might: IT WENT OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLASS

 

Vlad Tepes: Luckily for us it was in english and there were only a couple students around that arent even that good in english anyways
Vlad Tepes: I dont like thinking about what would happen if Tsunotori heard it

 

Rockingbird: Well, what were the lyrics? That would help us narrow down the culprit.

 

Twink Might: Oh.
Twink Might: They were.
Twink Might: That is to say, er.

 

Vlad Tepes: "It's Niagara Falls in this pussy all day"

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

 

high noon: dhdjfhjkjrknek

 

Nyquil: BIG MOOD

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: that settles it
That's Pussy, Babe!: it was hizashi

 

God of Eurobeat: BABE PLEASE

 

Twink Might: YOU!!!

 

God of Eurobeat: OH GOD HE'S GONNA KILL ME

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: rip

 


 

Nyquil: the m in bdsm stands for midnight

 

slimefucker 9000: i thought "m" stood for slope.

 

Nyquil: holy shit
Nyquil: ecto ur a fucking genius
Nyquil: sexy math
Nyquil: measuring the slope of that ass

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Please no.

 

roadrolla da: Midnight that would be a Perfectly Flat Ass

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: cementoss

 

Nyquil: klokerjdoirujnkwmorjd

 

Rockingbird: Aizawa I thought I could trust you.

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: ishiyama its like two cereal boxes glued together
That's Pussy, Babe!: admit that im right and move on with your life

 

God of Eurobeat: Okay I'm alive I managed to distract him with his son.

 

Nyquil: thats good
Nyquil: midoriyas a good purifying force

 

Lunchables: he is a rather nice kid

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: If he's so pure, why does he keep showing up in my health suite with broken bones and whatnot?!

 

Nyquil: wait hold on
Nyquil: youre saying toshis alone with midoriya right tf now

 

God of Eurobeat: ...Yes?

 

Nyquil: cool give me a sec

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: OH NO

 


 

Twink Might: KAYAMA!!!!

 

Nyquil: o fuck
Nyquil: zooms tf out

 

Twink Might: YOU GET BACK HERE AND FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS!!!!

 

That's Pussy, Babe!: ive been trying to do that for fifteen years
That's Pussy, Babe!: yet both me and midnight are still employed

 

Principal Nedzu: Yagi-san, please stop trying to murder your coworkers!
Principal Nedzu: Also, Aizawa-san, the work you and Kayama-san do is exemplary despite your... Odd personalities.
Principal Nedzu: Odd. That's the word.

 

Twink Might: Principal Nedzu, Kayama knew exactly what was happening!
Twink Might: I was talking to young Midoriya
Twink Might: Who is NOT my son

 

high noon: suspicious

 

Twink Might: Hush
Twink Might: She called my phone while I was talking to young Midoriya
Twink Might: I thought we were both going to die of embarrassment

 

Nyquil: anyways im in a steel bunker
Nyquil: what did he hear

 

Twink Might: I.
Twink Might: It was.

 

high noon: i was passin by
high noon: "slurp that dick till it cum"

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: DNHFJKEJERNKNR

 

Nyquil: STILL A MOOD

 

Twink Might: Where are you Kayama?!?! Yamada?!?!

 

God of Eurobeat: MOSCOW LOOKING PRETTY GOOD THIS YEAR!!!

 

Nyquil: see ya in paris toshi

 


 

please let me sleep: thanks for telling me how to change my name

 

Twink Might: Thank you for showing me how to change other peoples' ringtones!!

 

roadrolla da: oh no

 


 

God of Eurobeat: I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS
God of Eurobeat: I REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED MY RINGTONE TO BE REPLACED WITH TAYLOR SWIFT

 

Nyquil: thats what he got you with
Nyquil: mine was changed to blood on the dance floor
Nyquil: we probably deserve this

 

Vlad Tepes: You think

Chapter Text

Nyquil: And as Shouta gazed into Enji's eyes, he whispered, "Enji, though you burn hotter than a thousand suns, I want you to know that my love burns with an even greater intesity."
Nyquil: wait fuck deleTE DELETE

 

please let me sleep: kayama im going to kill you

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Alright, Midnight, what the fuck is this.

 

roadrolla da: Wait does this mean that YOU'RE KaianFiction

 

Nyquil: shit what gave it away

 

roadrolla da: Theres literally only one EndeavorHead fic in existence and the writing style is identical

 

Lunchables: you read fanfiction about your coworkers???

 

roadrolla da: I cant read suddenly I Dont Know

 

Nyquil: wait so do you like
Nyquil: have an account
Nyquil: or

 

roadrolla da: I SAID I CANT READ

 

God of Eurobeat: Oh my god Nemuri I thought we were bros why would you do this to me

 

please let me sleep: youre not even IN the fic

 

Nyquil: well honestly i was gonna continue the erasermic fic but you two are giving me like
Nyquil: zero material

 

please let me sleep: material huh
please let me sleep: hows this then
please let me sleep: hizashi.

 

God of Eurobeat: ??

 

please let me sleep: You. Me. Ageha Lounge. Tonight. 2030. Wear those leather gloves I like.

 

God of Eurobeat: !!
God of Eurobeat: Yes mistress!
God of Eurobeat: Wait fuck

 

please let me sleep: god dammit hizashi i am this close to cutting off the date but tbh i already called the place in the seconds it took you to respond so count yourself lucky

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: WAIT YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY FUCKING

 

Nyquil: ryou if you had been paying attention to them at all youd know theyve been together since high school

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: WHAT
GAAAAAOOOOO: THEN WHY ARE YOU WRITING FANFICTION ABOUT THEM

 

Nyquil: cause its funny

 

Rockingbird: It's her kink.

 

Nyquil: you stone faced motherfucker

 


 

Twink Might: I am here!

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: Yes, we know, Toshinori.

 

Twink Might: With an adorable picture that young Midoriya has sent me!
Twink Might: image.png

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: Awww!!! That is rather adorable!!! Midoriya-kun looks so cute when he's not UNCONSCIOUS IN MY HEALTH SUITE!!!

 

Twink Might: I SAID I WAS SORRY

 

Nyquil: wait hold on well get back to that
Nyquil: toshi whos that babe in the picture
Nyquil: the one with the chubby cheeks

 

Twink Might: Hm? You mean Inko-san? She is young Midoriya's mother!

 

Nyquil: holy fucking shit
Nyquil: toshi youre not married to that right

 

Twink Might: No. Once again, young Midoriya is not my son, and Inko-san is not my wife, widow, or otherwise.

 

Nyquil: interesting
Nyquil: then im going in
Nyquil: gonna scuba dive into that pussy

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: My goodness.

 

high noon: ifn ya dont mind im thinkin that im gonna fight you for her

 

Nyquil: oh yeah
Nyquil: you and what money

 

high noon: ive got bout thirty guns

 

Nyquil: so
Nyquil: im p sure the ladies enjoy handcuffs and whips more than they do guns

 

high noon: yall dont know what i do with em tho

 

Nyquil: jjfkedkjdmdjrfnkemdjrnke

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Cowboys Make Do.

 

Vlad Tepes: Oh my god Thirteen why

 

slimefucker 9000: enough!!!!!!!!

 

Nyquil: alright then enough playing around
Nyquil: toshi

 

Twink Might: I had hoped you would have forgotten me

 

Nyquil: give me and snipe inkos number

 

high noon: yall realizin that if we do this
high noon: then it means war

 

Nyquil: my last hookup was with mt lady i think i deserve a nice regular sized date

 

slimefucker 9000: vore

 

Nyquil: youre one to talk

 

slimefucker 9000: at least i'm honest.

 


 

high noon: turns out havin two teachers corner ya to ask bout ya mother aint a good idea

 

Nyquil: well how was i supposed to know hed dissolve into blushing and mumbling

 

Twink Might: I am assuming you called Inko-san then?

 

Nyquil: yeah we went one after another

 

high noon: we ended up settin up a date one after another

 

Nyquil: if they bleed into each other then thats all the better
Nyquil: shell get to see that im obviously the better of the two

 

high noon: now them right theres fightin words

 


 

Nyquil: "Here we are at SeaWorld, Nedzu-kun," Hound Dog said. Nedzu didn't care. His breasts were sore from ragging it hardcore.

 

Principal Nedzu: Kayama-san, if you must use a date locale, please don't use SeaWorld.
Principal Nedzu: I am quite stanchly against any of their practices.

 

Nyquil: "Here we are at the Titty Typhoon, Nedzu-kun," Hound Dog said. Nedzu didn't care. His breasts were sore from ragging it hardcore.
Nyquil: better?

 

Principal Nedzu: For some reason, I'm still unsatisfied, but it's good enough, I suppose.
Principal Nedzu: Incidentally, are you going to post this on your account?

 

Nyquil: nah this was just for you

 

Principal Nedzu: Your writing really is quite good; once again, I urge you to consider looking into getting your works published

 

Nyquil: nah thats not me
Nyquil: thanks for the praise tho

 


 

God of Eurobeat: Guys the sex was awesome.

 

please let me sleep: hizashi if you say anything more im going to kick you out of the goddamn room entirely

 

God of Eurobeat: SUDDENLY I CANT TALK

 

Nyquil: you better talk!!!
Nyquil: hizashi!!!
Nyquil: DAMN YOU ZAWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

Hello, Nurse!!!: Aizawa Shouta!!!

 

please let me sleep: oh no

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: Perhaps you could explain to me why Yamada had to come into my health suite today?

 

please let me sleep: i have to go right now immediately

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: Oh no you don't!
Hello, Nurse!!!: Young man, you explain to me right this instant why Yamada currently looks and sounds like he's been choked!!!

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: GJFDKJFKDNNERJEDNN

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Dear Andromeda.

 

please let me sleep: yo no hablo japones

 

Hello, Nurse: Don't think you haven't heard the last of this!

 

Vlad Tepes: Can this be the last Ive heard of this

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: BABE ITS NOT LIKE WEVE DONE WORSE
GAAAAAOOOOO: WHAT WAS THAT THING YOU LIKE WITH THE SAWHORSE

 

Vlad Tepes: Bad dog no treat

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: SHUTTING UP NOW

 


 

Nyquil: hey seki

 

Vlad Tepes: Im going to regret this arent I

 

Nyquil: probably
Nyquil: what did you do on your first date with ryou

 

Vlad Tepes: I took him out for a drink
Vlad Tepes: Got sloshed
Vlad Tepes: Said some things that were really really sexual
Vlad Tepes: We banged
Vlad Tepes: And here we are three years later

 

Nyquil: okay so my normal plan then

 

Vlad Tepes: If thats your normal plan then Im worried for Midoriya-sans well being

 

Nyquil: that reminds me
Nyquil: does ryou have a knot or not

 

Vlad Tepes: That joke was terrible

 

Nyquil: it was
Nyquil: deets

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: SEKIJIROU IF YOU ANSWER THAT IM REVOKING ALL LEASH PRIVILEGES

 

Vlad Tepes: On me or you

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: ALL OF THEM

 

Vlad Tepes: Well shit
Vlad Tepes: Sorry Midnight looks like Im on a short chain this time

 

Nyquil: youre in the doghouse huh

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: YOU TWO ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST

 


 

Nyquil: so me and snipe are here

 

high noon: m actually nervous
high noon: its my firs date in forever

 

Nyquil: you and me both buddy
Nyquil: if this doesnt work out ill buy you a drink
Nyquil: sound fair

 

high noon: i think id like that sugarplum

 

please let me sleep: are you just going to stand there or are you going to knock on the door

 

Nyquil: we actually dont know which apartment is hers

 

God of Eurobeat: Oh my god.

 

Twink Might: I've just sent you her apartment number.

 

Lunchables: and why do you have that...?

 

God of Eurobeat: Hm... Suspicious...

 

Twink Might: I was the one who went and told her about the dormitories!
Twink Might: Not only that, I had young Midoriya tell me where it was, since, admittedly, I am not all that good with directions.

 

slimefucker 9000: you don't even know where your own son lives.
slimefucker 9000: you are a terrible father.

 

please let me sleep: still a better dad than shoutos

 

Twink Might: What is this about Endeavor?

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: NOT OUR PLACE TO SAY
GAAAAAOOOOO: TODOROKI WILL TELL YOU WHEN HES GOOD AND READY

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: This sounds worrisome.
Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Who knows?

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: ME AIZAWA RECOVERY GIRL AND NEDZU

 

Nyquil: i think we all have the same suspicions about this but can we do this tomorrow
Nyquil: im about to beat snipe in the dating game

 

Principal Nedzu: Loathe as I am to admit it, Kayama-san is right here.
Principal Nedzu: I really cannot legally act unless young Todoroki-san is willing and able to give testimony.
Principal Nedzu: Please note the wording above.
Principal Nedzu: *I* cannot act *legally*.

 

high noon: i see
high noon: stealth
high noon: im likin this idea
high noon: now hush yall were here

 


 

Nyquil: oh my god holy fuck oh my god

 

Lunchables: >:?

 

Nyquil: rush you fucking homestuck now is not the time

 

afternoonGourmand: its always time motherfucker

 

Nyquil: im going to burn this restaurant to the ground with you in it you dave strider piece of shit

 

Vlad Tepes: Kayama calm down whats going on

 

Nyquil: you guys know snipes fucking
Nyquil: nose chain piercing

 

afternoonGourmand: yes? to be fair hes mostly in costume so i keep forgetting about it

 

Nyquil: well hes certainly not in costume now
Nyquil: apparently he got a couple more piercings
Nyquil: there's a stud in his tongue

 

God of Eurobeat: HOT!!!
God of Eurobeat: Wait there's the implication of more.
God of Eurobeat: Where else has my Metal Bro gotten pierced?

 

Nyquil: okay well revisit metal bro later cause im spending too much time in the bathroom as is
Nyquil: the fucking point is that he noticed that both me and inko were staring at it
Nyquil: inkos blushing this whole time i dont think shes used to having a double date with only three people

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Wait how does that Work?

 

Nyquil: LATER
Nyquil: anyways the smug motherfucker notices our stares
Nyquil: he leans in
Nyquil: and fucking goes
Nyquil: "thems aint my only piercin's ifn ya catch my drift"

 

Rockingbird: kjfkdfjdnrjdnrne
Rockingbird: I've never seen him this forward before.

 

Twink Might: I do not get it?

 

Nyquil: aw toshi youre cute but i gotta get out there and step it up
Nyquil: is it bad that i want to see snipe after this is over for some solo time

 

please let me sleep: dont you have a date

 

Nyquil: i know!!! stop talking to me!!!

 

please let me sleep: turn off your phone then

 


 

GAAAAAOOOOO: AIZAWA WHAT DID YAMADA MEAN BY METAL BRO

 

God of Eurobeat: DON'T TELL THEM///////////

 

slimefucker 9000: wow i can actually hear the blush from here.

 

please let me sleep: hizashi got his nipples and navel pierced so that i can clip a chain onto them
please let me sleep: its a sex thing

 

God of Eurobeat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 


 

Rockingbird: Hey, Principal Nedzu?

 

Principal Nedzu: Hm? Yes, Ishiyama-san?

 

Rockingbird: Is it illegal to send someone a PowerPoint filled with nothing but porn and doujinshi of themselves?

 

Principal Nedzu: Not to my knowledge.

 

Rockingbird: Cool. Aizawa, let me into your class' dorms.

 

please let me sleep: its too late for this
please let me sleep: do it in the middle of the day
please let me sleep: itll be funnier

 

Twink Might: I can let you in, Ishiyama-san!
Twink Might: For I am here, checking in on young Todoroki anyways!

 

Rockingbird: Good. I'll be there in five minutes.

 

Twink Might: Is this what I think it is?

 

Rockingbird: It certainly is, All Might.
Rockingbird: It certainly is.

Chapter Text

Principal Nedzu: Has anyone seen Snipe-san or Kayama-san?

 

God of Eurobeat: NO!!!

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: I HAD TO FILL IN FOR SNIPE
GAAAAAOOOOO: I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON WITH HIS CLASS BUT IM GONNA COUNSEL THE SHIT OUTTA THEM

 

please let me sleep: it was kinda funny seeing the principal try to decipher nemuris handwriting and schedule

 

high noon: howdy

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: THERE YOU ARE

 

Principal Nedzu: Where on Earth are you two?!

 

Nyquil: we overslept

 

afternoonGourmand: but its 4:30 in the afternoon?

 

Nyquil: thats what happens when you fuck for ten hours straight

 

high noon: to be fair
high noon: inkos got quite an imagination on her

 

afternoonGourmand: wait what

 

Nyquil: yeah its actually nice not being the dom this time

 

please let me sleep: stop

 

Nyquil: hey @high noon how many piercings do you have in total
Nyquil: counting the ones on your dick

 

please let me sleep: please stop

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: PLEASE CONTINUE
GAAAAAOOOOO: ONES? AS IN MULTIPLE?

 

high noon: yeah ywanna see em

 

Principal Nedzu: I don't need to see this.
Principal Nedzu: If you absolutely must share nudes, please do it in private messages.

 

Nyquil: alright but youre missing out

 


 

Nyquil: hey james

 

Rockingbird: "James"?

 

high noon: yea sugarplum

 

Rockingbird: James???

 

Nyquil: did you give incchan our emails

 

Twink Might: Incchan???

 

high noon: no
high noon: why

 

Nyquil: check your mail

 

Twink Might: Let us back up for a second
Twink Might: Who are James and Incchan?

 

Nyquil: snipe and inko
Nyquil: keep up

 

high noon: well slap my ass and call me shirly

 

Nyquil: if you insist

 

high noon: yall wanna see footage of last night

 

Nyquil: yes

 

Twink Might: NO!!!

 

please let me sleep: no

 

Vlad Tepes: No

 

slimefucker 9000: no.

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: No thank you.

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Please No

 

God of Eurobeat: What if I want to

 

please let me sleep: then i divorce you and keep the apartment

 

God of Eurobeat: I understand.

 


 

Nyquil: so as it turns out
Nyquil: james' quirk works on everything he shoots

 

God of Eurobeat: jdkjfndkmjnrkdekfrjkrijfed

 

Nyquil: everything

 

Vlad Tepes: Blessed Allah strike me where I stand so that I dont have to hear this

 

Nyquil: you can run but you cant hide from the truth

 

Twink Might: I don't get it???

 

please let me sleep: stay pure bunny boy

 

Twink Might: "Bunny Boy"?

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Ah! All Might does sometimes look like a rabbit! I can see it! ^^

 

slimefucker 9000: guys help me thirteen is adorable i'm going to die.

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Oh stop it, you! >////<

 

slimefucker 9000: send help i'm dying.

 


 

Nyquil: guys im s h o o k

 

high noon: as am i

 

Rockingbird: Elaborate.

 

Nyquil: so me and james get back to the school eventually
Nyquil: and who happens to be waiting for us other than midoriya

 

Twink Might: Oh! Young Midoriya's mother must have told him about the date!
Twink Might: Or at least, the family-friendy parts.

 

high noon: yea we figured that
high noon: anyway the kid just looks at us
high noon: and he goes somethin like
high noon: "if yall do anything to hurt my mom, im gonna destroy ya"

 

Nyquil: to prove this he took out one of those journals hes always writing in and just starts listing off literally every possible fact that there is to know about us
Nyquil: including my measurements and james' last name

 

high noon: then he slams the book shut
high noon: glares at us
high noon: n then walks off

 

Nyquil: toshi your kid is out of control

 

Twink Might: I shall have a talk with young Midoriya.
Twink Might: Who is NOT my son!

 

Nyquil: yeah sure

 


 

Nyquil: Nedzu crawled on top of Aizawa and looked at him dead in the eye, his stare containing nothing but hunger. "You know what I desire," He growled.

"Do I?" Aizawa smirked, "What exactly is that?"

 

please let me sleep: im going to kill you

 

Nyquil: thats fair

 

Principal Nedzu: Hm. I do not like this.

 

Nyquil: thats fair too

 


 

 

Nyquil: so anyways i decided to send endy a bunch of scraps of paper
Nyquil: so that when he puts it all together like a jigsaw puzzle it has a letter saying what a bad parent he is

 

Rockingbird: Kayama, that's incredibly convoluted and murder mystery for you.
Rockingbird: One would think you would be more into cheesy romance.

 

Nyquil: nothing like a good mystery

 

Rockingbird: I agree. I'm honestly impressed.

 

Nyquil: thanks you stone cold motherfucker

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: You're always welcome.

Chapter Text

please let me sleep: guys its really not funny

 

Nyquil: it really kinda is

 

God of Eurobeat: IT'S PRETTY FUNNY!!

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: What is it?

 

please let me sleep: kayama hizashi if you tell thirteen i will personally kill both of you

 

God of Eurobeat: SHUTTING UP NOW!!!

 

Nyquil: ugh fiiiine
Nyquil: one sec tho

 

Twink Might: Aizawa! Young Hagakure is crushing on you?!

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: WHAT?!

 

please let me sleep: okay then kayama time for death

 

Nyquil: worth

 

Vlad Tepes: Somehow I am not surprised
Vlad Tepes: Nothing like that surprises me after I saw those doodles Fukidashi made of me

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: THEY WERE RATHER LIBERAL IN THE SIZE DEPARTMENT AND ALSO IN FLEXIBILITY
GAAAAAOOOOO: BUT KIDS STILL LEARNING AND ITS A HEALTHY OUTLET SO IM GIVING HIM A FREE PASS

 

Vlad Tepes: Ryou youre missing the point Fukidashi drew porn of me doesnt that weird you out

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: NOT REALLY????? I MEAN. OUR FIRST DATE.

 

Vlad Tepes: Stop bringing that up that was three years ago let me live

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: NEVER

 

Nyquil: woah wait wait wait stop the tape
Nyquil: that speech bubble kid drew porn of kan
Nyquil: please tell me you kept some

 

Vlad Tepes: Of course not

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: I COMMISSIONED SOME

 

Vlad Tepes: Babe I trusted you

 


 

high noon: hey aizawa pardner yall realize that nemuri never told thirteen directly right
high noon: hereto yall cant kill her

 

please let me sleep: damn
please let me sleep: okay cementoss lets pack it in

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: I was never really on board to begin with.

 

Principal Nedzu: Aizawa-san, please stop trying to kill Kayama-san!

 

please let me sleep: no promises

 

Principal Nedzu: Good enough, I suppose.

 


 

Nyquil: principal nedzu i wanna file a complaint

 

Principal Nedzu: Oh? What is it, Kayama-san?

 

Nyquil: i wanna fucking obliterate that rat bitch mineta kid

 

roadrolla da: Oh mood?

 

afternoonGourmand: big mood

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: That is definitely a mood right there.

 

please let me sleep: worm

 

God of Eurobeat: O H W O R M ? ? ?

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: BIG WORM

 

Nyquil: JMKICJNDKMRJNKEM
Nyquil: I KNOW IM OP BUT MOOD WORM

 

Principal Nedzu: As amusing as this all is, I cannot simply allow for harm to come to one of my students by their teachers!

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: Oh, you can't?

 

Principal Nedzu: ...
Principal Nedzu: Outside of class, that is.
Principal Nedzu: Furthermore, I find your usage of "rat" offensive, Kayama-san, as I am potentially a rat, so I would like you to use a different appellation for Mineta.

 

Nyquil: okay then
Nyquil: grape stain

 

roadrolla da: Nah, theres not enough heat behind that One.

 

Nyquil: hey who teaches contemporary hero art history here me or you

 

Twink Might: Kayama I have been meaning to ask.
Twink Might: What does your subject even entail?

 

God of Eurobeat: WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC!
God of Eurobeat: What brought this on, Nemuri??

 

Nyquil: piece of diaper garbage was drilling a peephole into the girls bathroom
Nyquil: so i knocked him tf out and hes tied up in an empty classroom
Nyquil: put him in a box too cause fuck it why not

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Wait.
Xx_Apollo1970_xX: You mean the box with the big hearts on it?

 

Nyquil: yeah
Nyquil: thirteen ol buddy ol pal ol chum what the fuck did you do

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Nothing. Certainly not throw the box into the dumpster.

 

Nyquil: thirteen i take back every twink theory i had about you

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Every what?

 

Principal Nedzu: I'll talk to you two later, but just remember, I can only step in if a teacher wishes their student bodily harm.

 

Nyquil: i see i see
Nyquil: yo shouta you wanna go dumpster diving with me and thirteen

 

please let me sleep: no

 

Nyquil: you can ship whatever you want to endys agency

 

please let me sleep: when do i start

 


 

please let me sleep: It is with no small amount of pleasure that I declare my first expulsion of the school year to be Mineta Minoru, former Hero Name being "Grape Juice".

 

Twink Might: Oh, thank god.

 

Nyquil: oh wow toshi you too

 

Twink Might: To be perfectly honest, I was starting to wonder just how exactly to do that myself.
Twink Might: I have seen villainous scum from the worst of the world's evil act exactly as he does, and I have always taken great pride in punching their lights out.

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: That was beautifully poetic, All Might.

 

Twink Might: No need for formalities, Ishiyama! Just Yagi is fine!

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: ...Right. Yagi.

 

roadrolla da:

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: You put those down right this instant young man.

 

roadrolla da: Anyways i hope you gave wine stain-diaper a good kicking

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: It was my pleasure.

 

slimefucker 9000: my hero. swoon.

 


 

Vlad Tepes: KAYAMA JOROGUMO NEMURI

 

Nyquil: oh shit
Nyquil: wait did you invent a middle name for me

 

Vlad Tepes: Beside the point!!
Vlad Tepes: Do you mind explaining to me WHY my class is in civil war with itself?!

 

Nyquil: ??? i didnt do shit

 

Vlad Tepes: Both Monoma and Fukidashi the ringleaders tell me that you masterminded this!

 

Nyquil: ohhh
Nyquil: yeah then i did do shit

 

Vlad Tepes: MIDNIGHT

 

Nyquil: put your anime titties to sleep boy
Nyquil: all i did was tell monoma that fukidashi preferred bara to biseinen

 

Vlad Tepes: THEYRE FIGHTING WITH SPEARS

 

Nyquil: yeah i dont know how that happened
Nyquil: give me five minutes let me finish this
Nyquil: @high noon

 

high noon: what

 

Nyquil: Omae wa mou ikudeiru
Nyquil: okay im gonna clean myself up and ill meet you by the windows

 

Vlad Tepes: And what do you think youre going to do

 

Nyquil: what i do best babe
Nyquil: put their asses to sleep

 


 

Vlad Tepes: I feel cheated somehow

 

Nyquil: thats a you problem

 


 

please let me sleep: hagakure told me that the paper i had found her holding she was just throwing away
please let me sleep: and also that shes a lesbian

 

Nyquil: eyy nice

 

please let me sleep: yeah
please let me sleep: but if thats the case then which of my students has a crush on me

 

Nyquil: it is a mystery

 

high noon: @Nyquil yall better get back here and finish the job

 

Nyquil: omw

Chapter Text

please let me sleep: alright so i figured it out

 

Nyquil: yo its five am what the fuck

 

please let me sleep: its midoriya isnt it
please let me sleep: the kid with the crush on me
please let me sleep: hes an otaku so logically hes the number one suspect

 

God of Eurobeat: Shouta I love you but you were wrong about it being Hagakure so what makes you think it's Midoriya?

 

please let me sleep: i just said hes number one suspect
please let me sleep: i also have iida todoroki and ashido as potential admirer suspects

 

Twink Might: Aizawa what. Is this.

 

please let me sleep: im going to sniff out the kid in class with a crush on me
please let me sleep: and then im going to quash this immediately

 

Nyquil: aizawa kids get crushes on their teachers and heroes all the time
Nyquil: theres this one second year whos trying to copy me thematically because i inspire them
Nyquil: think of it like a celebrity crush

 

please let me sleep: thats even worse because celebrity crushes defeat the purpose of an underground hero

 

God of Eurobeat: Nemuri, I don't think we're going to win this.

 


 

Nyquil: hey if you cum on my tits is that chestnut

 

high noon: im leaving

 

Nyquil: babe pls

 

high noon: no nemu im gon expose ya now
high noon: hey yall nemuri likes ta jack it ta pokemon

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: WHAT

 

Vlad Tepes: I knew this yet Im still surprised

 

Nyquil: james you traitor
Nyquil: its called hentai and its art

 

God of Eurobeat: Wait Sekijirou how did you know?

 

Vlad Tepes: What does this say I cant understand Japanese

 

slimefucker 9000: biweekly furry support group.

 

Vlad Tepes: There is no loyalty among any of you smh

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: How.
Xx_Apollo1970_xX: How do you know that, Ectoplasm?

 

slimefucker 9000: es tut mir leid, ich spreche nur deutsch.

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Denken sie wieder, arschgeige.

 

slimefucker 9000: scheisse.

 


 

God of Eurobeat: Shouta: That's flattering of you, but I am a father of twenty.
God of Eurobeat: Me: Would you like to be a father of twenty-one?

 

afternoonGourmand: JDKMJNKMESMEDJRNDKMEN

 

please let me sleep: hizashi were going to physically fight in the middle of divorce court

 

Twink Might: Wait, who is the twentieth child?

 

God of Eurobeat: Shinsou Hitoshi.

 

Twink Might: ... Who?

 

God of Eurobeat: Yknow. Purple kid from the sports festival. He brainwashed your son and then Midoriya literally flipped him over his shoulder like a piece of paper.

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: Even I remember it, Yagi.

 

Twink Might: Oh right!! Now I remember!!!
Twink Might: Wait, when has Aizawa ever interacted with young Shinsou?

 

please let me sleep: ive been training him personally for the better part of a month
please let me sleep: if im gonna push for his transfer into heroics he needs to be adequate
please let me sleep: you know i dont like to waste my time

 

afternoonGourmand: yet you're dating mic

 

please let me sleep: shit youre right

 

God of Eurobeat: WOW!!! OKAY!!! I'M ATTACKED!!!

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: Mood.

 


 

roadrolla da: yo aizawa
roadrolla da: maybe shinsous the one with a crush on you

 

please let me sleep: god i hope not

 


 

server: Daddyzawa

 

Fuck Endeavor: I THINK AIZAWA'S ONTO US

 

Fuck My Dad: Shit.
Fuck My Dad: What gave us away.

 

better than mew: apparently midoriya forgot to burn ashidos note

 

Fuck Endeavor: I DON'T HAVE A FIRE OR ACID QUIRK AND I DON'T CARRY A LIGHTER I TRIED TO THROW IT INTO THE BURNABLE TRASH AND IT MISSED AND HIT HAGAKURE IN THE FACE AND HAGAKURE TRIED TO TAKE IT TO THE TRASH BUT AIZAWA INTERCEPTED HER AND NOW HE'S ONTO US I'M GOING TO DIE HE'S GOING TO EXPELL US

 

F*** Stain: Midoriya!!! Calm down!!!
F*** Stain: I do not think that Aizawa-sensei would be so callous as to dismiss your career over a juvenile crush!!!

 

better than mew: iida we all have "juvenile crushes" on aizawa
better than mew: so i think were kind of in trouble
better than mew: NOT the expulsion kind of trouble though

 

Alien Alien: yo shinsou been meanin to ask what does your hn mean

 

better than mew: im better than you but im also a cat
better than mew: nya

 

Alien Alien: thats fair

 


 

server: Teacher Squad

 

roadrolla da: yeah i just think itd be funny tho
roadrolla da: what if theres just this fucking. secret society devoted to a mutual crush on you

 

please let me sleep: i hope the fuck not
please let me sleep: i dont want kids crushing on me

 

roadrolla da: but you're dating mic, right?

 

please let me sleep: youre right hmmmmm

 

God of Eurobeat: BABE WHY

Chapter Text

Nyquil: hey yall remember stuart little

 

slimefucker 9000: i.
slimefucker 9000: no???

 

Nyquil: american thing bout a mouse living with humans
Nyquil: apparently the mom gave birth to the mouse

 

slimefucker 9000: what.

 

Nyquil: yea so it was just a mouse that walked and talked like a person

 

Principal Nedzu: Kayama-san, this better not lead where I think it's leading.

 

Nyquil: so anyways
Nyquil: damn

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: No, actually, I want to hear this.

 

Nyquil: thanks doc
Nyquil: so anyways
Nyquil: thats the secret to nedzus species

 

please let me sleep: im sickened yet intrigued
please let me sleep: did that mean that nedzus mom fucked a mouse

 

Nyquil: or a dog or whatever

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: BUT THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE GENETIC SENSE

 

Vlad Tepes: Babe you're a literal dog man I think furries can exist on that level too

 

Principal Nedzu: I am absolutely certain that both of my parents were animals!

 

Nyquil: yeah but
Nyquil: do you know

 

Principal Nedzu: Yes!!!!!!!!

 

afternoonGourmand: but what is the truth

 

Principal Nedzu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

Nyquil: oh shit

 


 

Nyquil: okay so did nedzu like
Nyquil: kill you all

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: No, he just screamed until he passed out.

 

please let me sleep: unfortunately

 

God of Eurobeat: Mood

 

Twink Might: Aizawa, Yamada, are you two alright?

 

God of Eurobeat: Not really.

 

please let me sleep: what do you think

 

Twink Might: Do you. Wish for me to hold you. So that you may sleep?

 

please let me sleep: id like that

 

God of Eurobeat: That sounds nice but expect a lot of vibrating until the caffeine wears off.

 

Twink Might: I believe I can manage.

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: Ah. I see.

 

Nyquil: better luck next time buddy
Nyquil: id go over to where you are but like
Nyquil: inkos a cuddler

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: No, no, it's fine, it's fine.
Stone-Cold Motherfucker: In a way, I'm used to it.

 

Twink Might: Hm? Used to what, Ishiyama?

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: OH my god
Xx_Apollo1970_xX: That's it! Ectoplasm, come with me!

 

slimefucker 9000: what? why me?

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: You Know Why!

 

slimefucker 9000: oh shit.
slimefucker 9000: okay give me. a second?

 

Twink Might: What is this about?

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: You stay there! Let Aizawa and Mic come to you or whatever, just stay there!
Xx_Apollo1970_xX: @high noon Snipe are you helping or not?

 

high noon: while normally id love to partake in this
high noon: miss inko is a mighty fine cuddler

 

Xx_Apollo1970_xX: Fair enough.

 


 

Twink Might: What a beautiful day to have three beautiful boyfriends!!!
Twink Might: Ah, how do I do a heart?

 

God of Eurobeat: You mean like <3?

 

Twink Might: No, as in the symbol for heart!

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker:

 

Twink Might: Cute, but no! I mean the actual emoji?

 

God of Eurobeat: : heart:
God of Eurobeat: Without the space.

 

Twink Might: Thank you, Yamada-kun! :heart:
Twink Might: *Hizashi

 

God of Eurobeat: adsjakmenerkrnvfn /////////////////////

 

roadrolla da: wow you guys are cute as shit

 

Stone-Cold Motherfucker: Of course we are
Stone-Cold Motherfucker: Toshinori is just the cutest boyfriend, after all.

 

Twink Might: Oh, you flatter me so, Ken-kun!

 

high noon: yall woke up me and my misses

 

slimefucker 9000: then put your phone on silent.

 


 

afternoonGourmand: And so only me ectoplasm thirteen and power loader are single
afternoonGourmand: unless recovery girl wants in

 

Hello, Nurse!!!: As if I want in on your old maids' club!!!

 

afternoonGourmand: thats what I thought

 

Principal Nedzu: What about me?
Principal Nedzu: I do believe that I am single!

 

afternoonGourmand: yeah but youre also our boss
afternoonGourmand: and a literal animal
afternoonGourmand: and also probably stuart little

 

Principal Nedzu: NO!!!
Principal Nedzu: I am not Stuart Little!

 

afternoonGourmand: sounds like something stuart little would say

 


 

Nyquil: hey guys can you help me im trying to find stuart little porn

 

Twink Might: Not in this household you aren't.

 

Nyquil: luckily for you im at inkos apartment
Nyquil: anyways any help

 

high noon: is this how were really spendin the weekend
high noon: loungin round our girlfriends house and lookin up furry porn
high noon: that might not even exist mind ya

 

Nyquil: yes

 

high noon: well yall heard the lady any ideas

 

Nyquil: theres like zero fics on ao3 so like

 

Vlad Tepes: Did you try e621

 

Nyquil: no actually thanks for reminding me

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: BABE WHATS E621

 

Vlad Tepes: Japonlardan anlamıyorum, lütfen tekrar deneyin.

 

GAAAAAOOOOO: YOU AND I BOTH KNOW YOU CANT ACTUALLY SPEAK TURKISH

 

Vlad Tepes: Herkes bu seksi kurt ne söylediğini anlayan var mı?

 


 

Nyquil: yo jima

 

roadrolla da: what

 

Nyquil: im gonna text ya something

 

roadrolla da: oh boy

 


 

Stuart Little: I do apologize for my previous outbursts!
Stuart Little: WHO DID THS?!?!?!?!?!

 

Nyquil: wwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

roadrolla da: wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

God of Eurobeat: wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

afternoonGourmand: wwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

Stuart Little: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA