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Thinking out loud

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Dana is in complete remission, day three. It’s still hard to believe. I’m happy. I’m beyond happy and I know should question God’s work, but you see, ever since she started preschool, Dana made me question everything. So here I am, on my way to hospital, thinking about who healed my baby sister. Was it God? Or was it that damn thing her partner made her put under her skin. Her partner…

Mom says I shouldn’t be so harsh on Fox. Mom is a fan of his, although I have no idea why. What kind of name is that?! Fox?! He was ‘’agent Dana works with’’, then he was ‘’agent Mulder’’ and then she goes missing and suddenly he’s part of the family! Raven, that’s more suitable since nothing good can happen if he’s around.

- One thing, I said to my mother this morning before I left for hospital, name one good thing that happened since she became his partner.

- Bill, it’s her life. Dana is grown up, you know. I know you’re only trying to protect her, and she knows it too, but she’s living her life and you need to respect that.

I kissed my mother goodbye without saying anything. She was telling the truth, but she didn’t answer my question.

- He took it hard when she was missing, you know, Melissa once said. No shit, sis. Because it was a real joy ride for the rest of us.

- He blamed himself, mom added. Well, good. He should. If she stayed in Quantico it wouldn’t have happened. Her cancer, Melissa’s death, none of that.

I remember when I first saw that SOB. Melissa’s funeral. I still don’t know how mom survived that. Charlie was devastated, but he was trying so hard not to break for mom. And mom… Mom, she was trying not to break for all of us. Charlie cried in bathroom, mom cried in the kitchen. I was pretending I don’t hear their sobs. Me, well I cried when I was alone with Tara. But Dana, she remained stone cold.

Melissa’s death was an accident. They were trying to kill me, she was on the wrong place in the wrong time. We’ve gathered some evidence. The gun was left on the scene… I will find who did it, I need you to know that. All of you, I need you to know that I will find who did it. Dana said that and she was gone.

Next time we saw her, it was on the day of funeral. Dressed in black, pale. But stoic. Almost like she was on duty. After the service, she talked to her boss, the tall, bold guy. She then excused herself and she went to the guy standing away from us, away from the crowd. He could see everything from that spot, he could see her, but he was far enough no one would notice him. So she walks towards him and he’s not making a move. When she finally gets to him, his arm is around her shoulder, almost in second. I see Dana bows her head, but then he’s positioning himself and his back is all I see. He wasn’t really hugging her but somehow it was like they became one person. Before I could even ask, mom spoke to me:

- That’s Fox, Dana’s partner.

I’m not sure how, but somehow he knew we talked about him, so he looks up, still holding Dana, and he meets my mother’s gaze. Mom nods and takes my hand:

- Come on, Bill. She’ll be here in a minute.

And few minutes later, Dana’s back. Her eyes were just a little bit red. She hugs mom and I turn around but the guy is gone.

I never saw him again until mom called me to inform me Dana’s in the hospital. But just because I didn’t see him, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t there. On every birthday party, every holiday, every family dinner.

‘’Dana called, she can’t make it. She and Fox are on the case in Utah.’’

‘’Dana said she’s sorry, but she’s still in Chicago, Fox was injured on the case, so she’s staying there until he’s discharged from the hospital.’’

,,Dana and Fox are in the quarantine, she won’t be home for Thanksgiving. But we can call her!’’

She starts working with him and suddenly Charles is no longer the missing Scully. So yes, I don’t like the guy. But honestly, can you blame me?

Ten minutes before visiting hours start and I’m almost there. Two more days and she’s out the hospital. One more month until she’s back on the field. In theory, that is. When her doctor said that, her boss chuckled, Dana smiled at him and he shakes his head. I guess will be lucky if she stays home at least for two weeks. As I get close to her room, I hear her giggle. Last time I heard that sound, she was a college freshman. Then she giggles again and I do what every brother would: I come close to the door and I listen.

- Mulder, no.

- Scully, read the file. That house is haunted.

- Haunted houses exist only in novels. And movies inspired by those novels.

- True, but Shirley Jackson must have had some sources that inspired her to write her novel.

- Really, Mulder? The Haunting of Hill House?

- What? It’s a classic.

- Yes, but it’s a fiction.

- Fine, but I’m telling you, every Christmas two bodies show up near that house. Maurice and Lyda take two lives and they will do it again this year.

- Mulder, Christmas is in two months.

- I know, I’m gonna try and stop them before that.

- And how are you planing to do that? Are you gonna call Ghostbusters?

Good one, Dana. Kind of predictable, but still nice one.

- Ha-ha. Funny. Here, I brought you some nice food.

- Mulder, is this that Monte Cristo thing you eat on Friday?

- Yep, fresh from the that place next to the office.

- Muldeeeer…

Well, the whining thing is new.

- What? We love that place!

- We do, but only you love this!

- Doctor said you need calories, so eat that.

- He said calories, not heart attack, Mulder. I can see the headlines in medical journals: miracle remission – death by cholesterol.

And then everything goes quiet. It feels like the silence is gonna lasts forever. But then I hear the papers being shuffled and Dana speaks again.

- Mulder.

- You’re right. I wasn’t thinking about it. I could go and get you something else.

- Stop, Mulder. Don’t do that.

More shuffle.

- Mulder please. It was a joke. A bad one. Give me back my sandwich.

- I wasn’t thinking, don’t… You don’t even like that.

- It’s ok, really. It was a joke. I’m sorry. Please. Sit down, give me that sandwich. Tell me a story about those ghosts. I like good entertainment with the meal. Come on. Show me your best.

- Scully…

- Maurice and Lyda, right?

- Yeah. Yeah, Maurice and Lyda. Ok. It was Christmas, 1917. Try to imagine, Scully. It was the time of dark, dark despair…


Oh for fucks sake. I’m coming in!