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Kinktober: 2017

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They don’t have much time. Between Liv and Moses coming home from school, Charity and Chas constantly wandering back and forth, they’re trapped in a conveyor belt of people ready to interrupt them for the most inane things.

No, Mum, I don’t need you to wash my jumper.

What Aaron needs is time alone with his boyfriend. He’s in his kitchen making a cup of tea and trying to remember the last time he had five minutes of peace and quiet with him.

It’s sad, but he doesn’t actually know. He’s staring at his tea getting browner and browner and he sighs like it takes his whole body to do it.

“Hiya,” Robert pops his head round and frowns at Aaron just standing there with a spoon in his hand like a lost soul. “You alright?”

He’s wearing a suit: navy, slim fit trousers that skim his legs but clings just so to his arse under the jacket. And Aaron just wants. He turns around, tea ignored, and pulls Robert in by his shirt, letting him come into the v of his legs where he’s now leaning against the work surface.

Robert’s got this dopey grin on his face as he nudges Aaron’s nose with his own, “Hi.”

Long fingers settle on either side of his waist, but Aaron wants more. He slips his hands around the leather of Robert’s belt and lets his palms rest on the round muscle of his arse.

“Oh, that kind of hug is it?” Rob teases him but Aaron feels the small roll of hips against his own.

Not really standing on pretense anymore, Aaron bites his bottom lip and shrugs, “Guess it is.”

Robert never needs to be told twice as his gaze focuses down on Aaron’s lip that’s red from where he dragged it between his teeth. He doesn’t immediately go in for a kiss. Instead, he steps so that his right leg is outside of Aaron’s left. It makes Aaron’s stomach drop with want as he pulls Robert’s arse towards him and enjoys the exhalation of air that follows. The denim of his jeans is thick enough that it provides a good amount of friction as he rocks against Robert’s thigh, pushing their hips together as he drags Robert against him with heavy hands. His dick feels tight against the fabric and he can feel the weight of Robert’s thickening length pressing alongside his, spurring him on.

“Aaron…” Robert’s voice is hoarse before he finally catches Aaron’s mouth with his own. It’s little less than a wet press of mouths as little sighs escape plush lips. Aaron pulls a little harder, digs his fingers in a little deeper and it jolts Robert against him as he rides down onto Aaron’s thigh.

“Yeah, Rob, come on.” Aaron kisses Robert then, thrusting his tongue inside, tasting the coffee he must have had not long ago.

The hands against his waist turn into fingers that score down the outsides of his hips and rest under his arse, cupping it for leverage as they rock together. It’s the kind of pleasure that builds slowly, Aaron feeling it spark as their chests bump together and Robert bites at his neck. One hand slides further down and curls around Aaron’s thigh, pulling it up around Robert’s leg. It brings them as close as they can get without being inside each other and it’s perfect. Every roll of his own hips is a stroke against his aching cock and Robert drives his hips up like he’s inside and it makes Aaron’s chest cave. His breath is shallow as he wets the fabric of his boxers and pulls his lips between his teeth again to stop himself from making a sound.

Except Robert knows all of the things that Aaron tries to hide. He slips his fingers against cleft of Aaron’s arse and applies enough pressure that it tips Aaron over the edge, his body shaking and curving so that he pulls Robert against him as he stutters and moans softly. Fingers still pressing, Robert keeps thrusting against Aaron who feels sensitive and tingly where Robert is rubbing against him. Robert drops his forehead down onto Aaron’s shoulder with a drawn sigh, while Aaron brushes a soft hand up and down his back as he comes. 

Robert lifts his head up, letting his lips pause for a soft kiss on Aaron’s cheek: “That was nice, but you should probably make another cup of tea. That one’ll be rank now.”

Chapter Text

His husband. There’s a thrill of excitement to the notion, the sudden change in meaning to and from the band of metal that rests against Robert’s finger. He stares at it as he gently skates his nails over Aaron’s ribs while he sleeps. He’s got a big day getting ready to leave - Robert tries to push it out of his mind - and he was more than a little tanked after the festivities despite his protests and insistence that Robert was worse off.

 

“You drank out of the welly, Rob.” Aaron tells him emphatically as he trips up on his own shoe as he heads towards the bed.

Robert laughs and tries to get Aaron’s blazer off of him before he lands face first on the bed and then there will be no moving him.

“I did. Then you danced with me.” Robert feels his face go soft at the thought of their soft swaying, Aaron’s hands on his waist and looking up at him with devoted eyes.

Aaron in the present snorts, “That was standing, that.”

Robert rolls his eyes, knowing full well that Aaron can’t see him, since he’s completely enamoured with the bits and bobs they keep on their bedside tables.

“Course it was. Come on, Mr Sugden, up you get. Can’t go to bed in your suit, can you?”

“It’s my wedding suit.” Aaron tells him, looking up with wide blue eyes. “Coz, I’m married.”

For a moment, Robert thinks his heart stops. There isn’t one ounce of guile in Aaron, he’s just speaking what’s on his mind and destroying Robert in the process. They’re it now. Together forever. Just like he wanted, like they both wanted, and he doesn’t even know what to do with that.

“I love you,” he tells him.

Aaron smiles happily, “Of course you do.”

Robert laughs, “Yeah, I do.”

 

So he can’t help but press a kiss to Aaron’s bare shoulder where he’s lying on his side away from Robert and trace where his shoulder curves into his bicep and back up again.

Robert’s on his third circuit when he hears a muffled, “is this leading somewhere?” from where Aaron’s got his face smushed into his pillow.

“Thought you were sleeping?” He teases.

Aaron shifts a little so that he pushes further back into Robert, his back almost touching his chest.

“I was, then you started feeling me up. Bit hard after that.”

Robert bites back a laugh, “Is that so?”

He guesses that Aaron doesn’t have to be facing him to know what he’s thinking. “Come off it.”

Robert knows what he means. He’s been nursing a low level thrum of want in his body since they went to bed. Truth be told, neither one of them was up for more than some enthusiastic snogging last night before Aaron succumbed to sleep. He rolls away from Aaron, they keep the lube his drawer because Aaron lives in the hope that the fact it’s his drawer will stop people snooping in it, Robert doesn’t agree but whatever makes his husband happy.

At first glance it doesn’t look like Aaron’s moved but the duvet is bunching and Robert knows that Aaron’s moved his knee up to balance himself when Robert lines up against his back. It’s intense like this, even just working his fingers inside. There isn’t very far either of them can go, but Aaron takes it, pressing down on Robert’s finger that goes from one to two and then three. Robert loves the moans Aaron lets out being in this position, like every touch hits a nerve and he can’t keep it all inside himself.

Wiping his fingers on the sheet, Robert shifts so that his left leg is behind Aaron’s as he holds his hip tightly and moves slowly inside his body. The resistance is still tight, it’s how Aaron likes it, but it ruins Robert. He feels trapped in the best possible way and it takes him a second to become accustomed to it, until Aaron brings him back with a few experimental curls of his hips back and forth.

“Wait,” Robert warns him, but Aaron shifts again, trying to get him deeper and earns a slap on his thigh for his troubles.

“Come on,” Aaron breathes. He’s got no patience like this. His hands are digging into his pillow as he holds himself still and finally lets Robert bottom out.

Slowly, he works himself out and pushes in hard with one thrust. It jerks Aaron forward but he grabs his own thigh and breathes out with a whimper. Hand still holding Aaron’s hip, the other curves over his shoulder as Robert pulls Aaron onto him as he thrusts upward. The limited movement makes it rough and jarring but Robert listens to Aaron’s soft bitten out cries as he presses a kiss between his shoulder blades.

When Aaron starts rubbing his own dick, Robert plasters himself to Aaron’s back, hooking his chin over Aaron’s shoulder so he can see him work for his pleasure. Now his own movements are minuscule, he’s so deep inside that all he does is rock his hips and hit the bundle of nerves that has Aaron leaking as he strips himself. His breathing is sharp and interspersed with choked whines as he trips over the edge, coming on his hand and the sheet. The clench and release of Aaron’s orgasm tries to take Robert with it, but he rolls with its current and drives Aaron’s pleasure higher as Aaron’s wet hand grabs at his when the feeling becomes too much.

Aaron tries to turn over when Robert slips purposely from him, but he taps Aaron’s hip and takes his hand back. He uses Aaron’s come as lube as he jerks his cock towards completion and Aaron is murmuring words of encouragement when Robert’s body pulses and throbs with his orgasm. He paints Aaron’s back with it, a mark and a reminder that no ring could ever create and his head falls against Aaron’s shoulder blades as he tries to catch his breath.

Rolling over to face Robert, Aaron smiles, “I think I’m going to like being married to you.”

He could let the moment lie but he can’t. Robert smiles widely and answers: “Of course you are.”

Chapter Text

Aaron’s been holding tension in his shoulders all day. He’s had a call from Liv’s school, she’s been excluded again for getting into it with those dickheads she sometimes hangs out with because they won’t stop hanging around Gabby. He wants to tell her to walk away, to let them get on with it, but he knows he can’t. He would never do it himself so how can he expect her to?

So he sits and he stews on it, tapping his thumb against his knee with his jumper sleeves pulled up over his hands. He barely even acknowledges Robert when he comes and sits on the settee with him, bringing a hot cuppa and a plate of biscuits to tempt him out of his mood. It doesn’t work.

Robert isn’t amused either, “Well look at the slapped arse on you.”

“This isn’t a game, Robert.” Aaron fumes, he knows he’s overreacting at this point because Liv has gone to Tesco’s with Chas after a right talking to and the understanding that she has to stay out of other people’s shit.

“No one’s saying it is, but you’ve dealt with it. Let it go.” Robert grabs his hand to stop the tapping and Aaron wants to throw him off in his self righteous anger but he knows Robert’s right. There’s no point in carrying on. It won’t change the facts.

Robert tugs on his hand, Aaron looks at him, sees the spark of mischief in his eye. When Aaron doesn’t visibly react, Robert pulls a bit harder and makes Aaron go with him. He ends up on Robert’s lap with his knees either side of his hips. He feels a bit childish like this, Robert’s other hand rubbing slowly on his lower back.

“We’ve got a free minute and I want to spend it with you. Not your mood.” Robert tells him, his thumb rubbing over Aaron’s hand like the other now on his back.

That does slowly make the clouds part. Aaron can feel himself smile as he drops a kiss on Robert’s mouth and Robert’s hands move from where they were to his hips when Aaron pulls back. It’s funny how something so simple as a bit of comfort from Robert and a half arsed attempt at a cuddle on the sofa has just bled all of Aaron’s anger out. He can feel his body loosen up as he looks at his boyfriend with his shiny blonde hair and Hollywood smile. He just looks so happy to be there, with Aaron, that Aaron doesn’t even want to consider fighting anyone for a week. 

It’s also an imperceptible shift from comfort to more. Robert’s shirt collar is open one more button than usual and Aaron can see the flex of his throat when he swallows, the pale skin moving to accommodate.

Robert can sense the shift too, his voice huskier when he asks, “Is that better?”

Aaron nods, barely a movement of his head before he bites his lip and leans in for another kiss. This one is longer, Robert opens up under Aaron, his tongue hot as it brushes against his own. It’s slow, curling and fans the short flame Aaron’s stoking in his belly. Robert’s fingers bite into his hips now as he shifts under Aaron’s weight. It’s rare that they can get worked up like this, to appreciate the slow coil of desire as it expands and consumes, but Aaron loves it. He loves feeling everything get heavy and thick between them. He lets his hands run over Robert’s shoulders, down his arms, and catching at his elbows. They’re bent where Robert’s gripping Aaron’s hips, and Aaron holds them for support as he shifts his weight, teasing a soft moan out of Robert against his lips.

They’re both more than halfway hard and Robert pulls back a little, “I want you.”

Aaron glances at the clock, they don’t have time to go upstairs before the house is filled with people again. He presses his mouth to just under Robert’s jaw, and again further down, tracing the strong line of his throat. He’s grateful Robert’s been working from home today so it’s easier for him to pop the button on his jeans and unzip them enough that he can see black boxers. Robert’s hands then mirror his own, but with Robert rubbing the heel of his hand on Aaron’s throbbing dick. He grinds up automatically to chase the sensation but Robert stops him with a hand low on his belly.

They’re practically cheek to cheek when they get their hands inside each other’s underwear, Robert leaning up and away from the back of the settee and Aaron breathing shuddered air against Robert’s cheek as he half presses his lips against his skin.

“I wanna see you come,” Robert tells him as he slowly uses his fingertips to stroke Aaron’s cock. Aaron drags his bottom lip into his mouth as he lets Robert’s words heighten his desire. He’s rocking a little bit now, teasing the head of Robert’s own dick because he knows it pulls full bodied shudders out of the other man. It’s like a tease of too much and not enough, and Aaron can’t get enough of watching Robert walk that line, his hips rolling to try and gain some friction or to buck Aaron off. He takes pity on him, spitting into his hand and curling it back around the shaft and stroking tighter.

“I wanna see you come first. All over me.”

Aaron isn’t one for dirty talk. He finds it unnecessary, but the fact that he doesn’t do it, drives Robert wild when he does. He’s pumping his hips in earnest, his hand still under Aaron’s jumper, nails scoring lightly over his stomach as he tries to keep his rhythm going for Aaron but Aaron isn’t focused on that. He’s watching closed eyes with pale lashes, plump lips reddened and open where Robert’s choking out little whimpers when Aaron twists his wrist on the upstroke. Aaron rests the thumb of his other hand against that bottom lip and Robert easily wraps his lips around it and sucks. The mimicry jolts Aaron’s pleasure up a notch and he drives his hips against Robert’s hand as he rubs the underside of the head and Aaron can’t take that. It sends shivers directly to his balls and he’s rolling his hips consistently now, slowly slicking Robert’s hand with his pre-come. Robert uses that to ease his way as he makes a tight ring with his index finger and thumb and Aaron just can’t. His body tightens and releases, Robert’s eyes now open and clear as he watches Aaron work through his orgasm, his hand sliding from Aaron’s belly to hold his side, a five point port in this storm. Aaron’s body finally calms down and Robert’s is still working towards its end.

Boneless and loose, Aaron lets his thumb slip away and he drags his mouth over Robert’s. He sucks on his tongue and slides his own in to rub against it and he lets all of his want pour into it. He winds his hand into Robert’s hair and lets his fingers grasp the strands tightly, pulling Robert’s head back slightly with it. That long pale neck is soft and exposed and Aaron bites it gently while he jerks Robert’s dick and that’s what sets Robert off. He tries to pull his hips away, but with his head unable to move, Robert is forced to whine while Aaron holds him as he wets both their jeans with his come. He twitches for a few moments after he’s done and Aaron smooths over the back of his hair to ease him through it. Another soft kiss against a now slack mouth, and Aaron rolls off to sit next to Robert, his jeans still open and his dick soft in the open air.

“Thank you,” Aaron tells him honestly. It’s for a lot of things really, more than just this or even helping with Liv. It’s just thank you for always being there now.

Robert turns his head to the side, his neck showing signs of a hickey Aaron hadn’t intended to put there, “You’re welcome.”

Chapter Text

Rimming to Robert comes with an element of trust. He feels vulnerable and open in a way he doesn’t with anything else so he had only ever done it a couple of times with a guy he ‘sucked and fucked’ in his early twenties as part of his ‘experimental’ phase. It wasn’t a phase, of course, and he liked the pleasure it brought him but he was never keen on how exposed it had left him. Even with Aaron he has to be eased into the idea of it. Except Aaron’s idea of easing him in is to look him dead in the eye over his toast and tell him: “I’m going to rim you tonight.”

Only, it doesn’t bother him. His dick gives an interested pulse at the thought of it, of the rough burn of Aaron’s unshaven face against his bum, but he’s narrowing his eyes at Aaron, who has gone back to buttering his toast like he’s just told him what’s for tea tonight. He bites into the crusty bread and glances back at Robert.

“What?” He drops crumbs off of his beard and Robert wants to strangle him. He’s got meetings all day and his boyfriend has just told him that he’s going to tongue fuck his arse tonight. Robert isn’t above being petty so he pinches the inside of Aaron’s opposite thigh and stalks off to finish getting ready.

He isn’t mad. He just can’t stop thinking about how it feels. How Aaron likes to put him on his hands and knees facing away from where he’s leaning against the headboard. How thick fingers dig into his thighs and drag him back when he tries to pull away, trapping him between trying to thrust his dick into thin air and get more pressure from what Aaron’s doing. Because, of course, he isn’t allowed to touch himself. Aaron always works him over to the point where even the air feels tingly against the wet head of his dick, the shaft harder than stone and he’s practically crying for some stimulation. Then and only then might Aaron pull at his balls and roll them in his palm while he thrusts his tongue deeper inside and out again before Robert can even attempt to clench around him, to keep him.

Robert is pretty sure he’s making a wet spot on his trousers when he backtracks to the kitchen, barely halfway up the stairs before he turns around. Aaron is stood there waiting for him like he’s expected Robert all along. His cock is genuinely throbbing now and it doesn’t help that Aaron stares straight at him, at the outline in his suit trousers where he can’t hide how much he wants what he’s been promised.

“Couldn’t wait could ya,” Aaron doesn’t even curb his smug smile as he puts his tea down on the side.

Robert folds his arms, “Oh, fuck off.”

Aaron raises his eyebrows, “You might want to play a bit nicer, mate.”

Even just the thin layers of fabric covering him are too much. He knows he’s probably going to pay for this later somehow but he palms over his erection and gets a tiny bit of pleasurable relief. Aaron frowns and makes his way to where Robert’s standing, pulling his hand away from the seam he was about to rub against for a bit of friction.

“None of that.”

“You started this,” Robert counters but it’s weak. He wants and he wants badly. When Aaron kisses him, he instinctively opens up and tries to encourage Aaron to brush his tongue up against his but Aaron pulls away after the barest hints of a kiss. Robert can’t help but sigh with the loss.

Aaron takes the hand he’s been holding and laces their fingers together, “Now I’m going to finish it. Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

Robert lets himself feel surprised, the pub is empty of punters but Chas and everyone have been pottering around trying to get ready for the work day since 5.

“Wait—” He isn’t trying to stop Aaron.  He just knows that sex while there are people milling about is usually at the bottom of the list of things Aaron enjoys. Except he shrugs,

“Guess you’ll have to be quiet then.”

It shouldn’t turn him on more but it does. It doesn’t even end there because when they get into their room, Aaron doesn’t let him take more off than his suit jacket before he pushes him down on the bed. He waits expectantly for Robert to turn over. Robert can’t deny the hair trigger of hesitation. Aaron’s watching him, Robert knows that the biggest part of him is looking for signs that Robert doesn’t want this, that it’s too much and they’ll stop. His dick is still tenting his trousers and Robert does want what Aaron’s offering, it’s just hard for him to reconcile himself with the pleasure and where it comes from.

“I want this,” Robert says firmly, “I want you.”

That’s the difference. He wants what Aaron is about to do with him. Aaron isn’t trying to get one up on Robert or make him feel he’s anything other than what he is. Aaron loves him where others have simply used him.

A thumb brushes against his lips and Robert licks it delicately as it passes. Aaron pulls in a breath and nods. Robert stands up to take his trousers off but a hand on his wrist stops him.

“Just to your knees.”

Robert nods because he can’t speak. His body is thrumming now, every part of him on fire for the slightest touch. He turns around and goes onto his knees on the bed, chest up and pulls at both his trousers and his pants until they’re pooling and then he drops to his hands and waits.

Again, Aaron’s looking. Assessing. Robert isn’t looking at him, but he can feel where Aaron’s gaze falls: the width of his shoulders, ribs that taper just so slightly to his waist, the way his bare arse is a rounded curve of meatier flesh and muscle. Robert has never wanted to be seen as much he has since he met Aaron. All he wants is Aaron’s eyes on him all the time; wanting him and undressing him with the same intensity that dragged Robert into his orbit.

“Your arse,” is all Robert hears before Aaron fondles a cheek in his strong hand, his callouses abrading Robert’s skin in the best way, so he can’t help but sway back, to try and take hold of more sensations himself. Immediately, Aaron drops his hand. Robert sighs frustratedly, but he doesn’t have to wait long. Aaron has just gotten onto his own knees on the floor so that his breath is caressing lightly where he’s about to put his mouth on Robert’s skin.

Until he doesn’t.

He lets his fingers run up barely against the insides of Robert’s thighs and watches as they quiver and goosepimple. He rubs the skin behind Robert’s balls and grips his thigh when Robert rocks forward with a groan. All of it adds the tension. To the moist puffs of air that consistently blow across his arse but never near his rim. Robert is getting desperate for something. A fist for his dick to fuck through, the touch of Aaron’s tongue, he just can’t take anymore of this almost that he’s being put through. He folds his arms and rests his head on them, his back a straight line within itself but a slanting posture from the bed to his arse. The hand on his thigh squeezes before Aaron’s hot tongue licks from his perineum to the top of his bum. Aaron’s tongue itself touches very little, but his beard drags delicious pinpricks in its wake and Robert pushes back on empty air because Aaron backs off as soon as he's done.

He isn’t proud of the sound he makes either when he rolls his hips again and meets nothing.

“Easy.” Aaron tells him as he brushes his hand down Robert’s leg, trying to calm him like a prized racehorse with petting touches.

His dick is moistening with pre-come now, it’s sticky and smearing against his thigh and part of him feels ashamed that he hasn’t been able to hold out longer, to keep tighter control of his desire but he can’t help it. The barest touch from Aaron and he’s gone. Robert pulls one of his crossed arms away and rubs at the silky skin of his cock head and huffs out a pleasured cry at how good it feels. His body shakes a little and he expects Aaron to stop him but he doesn’t. Instead, he parts Robert’s cheeks as Robert’s rubbing his foreskin and presses his tongue wide, covering Robert’s hole, before swiping upward. More pre-come drips out and Robert’s still stroking himself, fingers slowly rubbing back and forth. He lets his face completely fall into the duvet to free his other hand which he shoves up under his shirt and pinches his left nipple. He isn’t all that sensitive there, not like Aaron, but the spike of pressure/pain locks directly into his dick and he whimpers breathlessly and wipes his open mouth on the bed with a turn of his head. Aaron has got one hand holding him partially open and the other is now coming around to circle the base of Robert’s cock, teasing it with just his finger and thumb encircling just above his balls. His tongue is like a wave that laps at him, sending little shocks of pleasure up Robert’s spine and the first breach of the tip almost has him trying to shove back onto Aaron’s face, but even if he tried, Aaron’s fingers are biting into his rear and holding him in place.

Nothing can describe the overwhelming sensations that are pulsing through Robert as he tries to breathe, his body is a symphony of experiences as everything throbs and swells inside him. He lets his mind be dragged, and eventually he stops thinking all together, just rides the current as Aaron lets his hand drop and thrusts his tongue inside. Robert lets his dick and his nipple go and bunches his hands in the thick duvet, letting Aaron play his body the best way he knows how. And he does. His finger comes back slick with lube, he must have put it on the floor earlier, and it replaces his tongue with an easy slide home. Aaron crooks it almost immediately and Robert feels his belly cave as he draws it in at the sensation. He jumps when Aaron’s tongue returns alongside his finger and licks gently around it.

“Jesus, Aaron, it’s too much,” Robert manages to gasp out as Aaron’s finger rasps at his prostate. Everything goes from a gentle tingle to a zing, Robert’s body trying to coil tighter and ready itself for release but Aaron pulls back, takes his hand away. Robert’s protest is little more than an aggrieved sound before Aaron comes back with more lube and two fingers.

He mouths against Robert’s skin, “you can do it,” before he bites and thrusts his fingers deep.

Robert’s loud “ah!” earns him a slap on his cheek with the hand not inside him. Still, Aaron brings his mouth back to where he was dipping and flicking his tongue against Robert’s hole, and returns his fingers around Robert’s dick to stave off any orgasm he was building and Robert chokes with it.

“No!” He all but whines. He’s falling further into this sentence-less trance where he’s pushing back onto Aaron’s fingers as they plunge inside him and his dick is just bobbing in the air, aching to be jerked.

When Aaron’s fingers hit just so, Robert curls forward and almost completely off them before Aaron grasps him at his hip and drags him back onto them. Robert’s wet and sloppy with spit and what’s left of the lube around his rim and he feels ruined. There’s only one thing he wants now.

“Get inside me.” He’s wrecked, completely destroyed, but he manages to look back at Aaron, who looks just as wrung out. “Just you.”

It’s not something they’ve done a lot, they're clean, it just makes too much of a mess most of the time, but Robert wants to feel every inch of Aaron inside and out. He tries not to let himself drift and makes himself watch as Aaron frees himself from his clothes, to the knees just like him, and puts more lube on his dick before he rearranges Robert further up the bed so he can kneel on that instead of the floor.

With hands either side of Robert’s waist, Aaron checks in, “Ready?”

Yes.”

Aaron’s a bit above average in length but what gets Robert is his girth. He feels everything part and rearrange around Aaron inside his body as he welcomes that heat into his own. Aaron grazes Robert’s prostate by virtue of his width and Robert pulls his lip between his teeth to try and stop any louder cries that are waiting in his throat.

Aaron shoves his shirt further up his back, but keeps one hand bunched in it so that he can use it for leverage.

“God I—I want…” Robert rambles as Aaron pumps his hips generously a few times. Not fast, but deep.

“What, Rob, what do you want?” Aaron soothes as he pushes at Robert’s back to get him to lie on his stomach. Aaron spreads his legs further apart by nudging at his knees before he lays flat over Robert’s back, burying himself as far as he can go. He doesn’t get much momentum this way but Robert feels everything ten times more intensely. He can feel the hair on Aaron’s belly that leads down to his pubic hair, his hip bones wedged against the curve of his arse, his right hand holding Robert down on his bicep.

“Just—fuck.”

Aaron never gets more than halfway out of Robert before he slams home hard. Robert has to push his hands up against the headboard so that he doesn’t move to far up the bed and Aaron keeps thrusting. He’s at an angle so that every drive forward forces Robert’s groin to slide against the bed covers. Robert turns his face towards Aaron’s so that they can share and awkward clash of lips and tongues as Aaron breathes into him and grunts with pleasure and exertion. Robert manages to take one hand from the headboard to run it through the soft curls of Aaron’s hair.

Slowly, Aaron slips out and pulls back enough so that he can help turn Robert over and wedge a pillow under his hips. His shirt has ridden up awkwardly so Robert unbuttons it to get it out of the way but leaves it hanging on his shoulders. Aaron pulls his trousers off his body, chucking them behind him and laughs to himself as he pulls of one stripy sock and then the other. Robert splays his legs so that Aaron can get back between them, his ankles loosely resting behind Aaron’s knees. Aaron pulls up his left leg as he moves to lean over him on his hands, folding it against his ribs and almost pushing it back to Robert’s own. Robert himself uses his own hand to help Aaron back inside, watching his face screw up in complete concentration, the bottom corner of his lip dragged into the middle of his teeth as he settles himself in before he rams home hard. One hand slaps against Aaron’s side and digs his fingers in and the other gets shoved into Robert’s mouth to stop him from shouting. The slant of Aaron’s body presses harder on his prostate and Robert can’t do anything but bite onto his hand and accept the leaking pleasure as it builds to subsume him.

Robert lets go of his hand, ignoring the imprint and picks up his other leg to brace against Aaron’s side. He holds it up further, opens himself wider and Aaron grazes his thumb against where Robert’s mouth is slick from biting. Robert loves it like this, being able to see Aaron as he looks at Robert’s face before his eyes goes south, watching his cock disappear inside. It makes him drive harder, and Robert clutches tighter to him until his orgasm surprises him. He lets out a half cry of shock as he tenses his legs around Aaron’s waist, pulling him down onto his chest for a second as he does the same with his arms around Aaron’s shoulders. Aaron, for his part, doesn’t stop thrusting, he changes his angle so his stomach is consistently pressed against Robert’s dick as he wets the skin between them with come and he helps to ease Robert through with convulsive thrusts that only seem to be dragged out of him by Robert’s clenching body.

Aaron presses a kiss to Robert’s throat and Robert runs his hand down the back of Aaron’s hair and holds him against his neck. He keeps his legs locked looser around Aaron’s back but slides one hand down to grip Aaron’s arse and help shove him against Robert harder. Robert likes the hard and fast fucks but he likes this best, when Aaron is basically rutting against him, his breath a series of grunts and high-pitched whimpers as he works himself over. Robert squeezes and pulls a little bit so that Aaron’s own rim is exposed to the air and is rewarded with a jerkier thrust. He gets his fingers between Aaron’s cheeks and rubs gently at the tender skin and Aaron loses all semblance of motion and rests his forehead on Robert’s shoulder.

Turning his head so he can whisper in Aaron’s ear, “It’s so good, you’re so good.” Before he presses his finger inside. It’s hard, Aaron’s clenching so firmly but it does what Robert expects it to, Aaron begins thrusting erratically until that first wet spark of his orgasm. Robert ignores his own sensitivity, riding the pleasure and pain as Aaron spills hotly inside him with deep thrusts. It’s almost like a touch, to feel Aaron come, and he groans into Aaron’s ear when it happens. Lets him know how much he likes it as he scraps his teeth over the soft skin just below Aaron’s ear. Robert rocks against Aaron as much as he’s able, to keep his pleasure going, and holds his shuddering body as he comes down from his high. Robert leisurely skates his fingers up and down Aaron’s back to calm him as he still twitches with aftershocks.

They lay like that, wrapped up in each other, for a few moments before Aaron slowly peels himself away and lays awkwardly on his side next to Robert, as his jeans have made their way to his ankles now and are restricting his movements. Robert’s come is already starting to dry and crust and it makes him wrinkle his nose at it. Aaron doesn’t seem to care, he never does, he just puts his hand on Robert’s belly and rubs reassuring circles into his skin.

“It was good?” Aaron asks him, breaking the silence. He’s checking in again, making sure Robert’s okay.

“Yes.” Robert tries to be emphatic. Tries to express everything he needs to say in that one word, except he can’t. Aaron is so much more than that, and everything he gives to Robert is too much. “I always want when you touch me.”

Aaron bites his lip and Robert rolls to face him, “That stuff…is complicated for me. It’s all caught up in—”

He breathes out hard through his nose and Aaron touches his arm, curls his hand around Robert’s bicep.

“In the way my dad felt about me. So it’s hard to separate. But when I’m with you, it doesn’t matter. It’s not anyone else there, it’s just me and you. And I always want you.”

Aaron catches Robert’s lips in a soft kiss and tells him, “Okay.”

The tension that Robert didn’t realise was twisting inside him dissipates. Eventually, he drags his trousers back up the bed and cancels all of his meetings before joining Aaron, who has divested himself of his clothes, and is waiting for Robert to get back into bed.

Robert snuggles up with his head on Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron’s looking contemplative with a furrowed brow and Robert cups his hand to Aaron’s cheek and rubs his thumb against the softer part of his beard. Aaron looks down at him and smiles.

“It’s not just gay to like that stuff, most people do.” Aaron says after a moment.

Robert stops. He’s never said exactly why he felt so exposed but Aaron hones in on his insecurities with military precision. Especially now that he’s truly come out about everything that happened before he left. For a second, he feels like he’s on shaky ground, he doesn’t know if Aaron is encouraging him to talk more or trying to reassure him, but he lets out an unsteady breath,

“I know. I just didn’t want to be gay. I wasn’t gay. But liking that, it felt like I was saying I was.”

“But you’re not.”

Aaron sounds so sure and Robert wants to cry. No one has ever believed in him the way Aaron does.

“I know.” Robert tries to smile but his eyes are a bit watery so it comes out lopsided.

Aaron looks at him, “Do you?”

Robert looks at Aaron’s hand where his ring is reflecting brightly against the sun and he knows. He does.

“Yes.”

Chapter Text

Aaron’s wearing his pulling shirt. Not the black one, the charcoal grey one that Robert had tailored for his birthday and thinks it skims and accentuates in all the right places. Aaron thinks it’s ridiculous to call it that at all because he doesn’t go on nights out and he hasn’t tried to pull anyone properly since he went to Robert’s breakdown almost 5 years ago.

“It’s not your pulling shirt because you pick up other men in it. Thanks for that image, by the way. It’s because I have never not shagged you when you’ve worn it.” Robert swigs the foamy top layer of his beer and Aaron looks down at the floor. It was a blink and a miss it moment, but Robert saw it. His cheeks are staining red on their high points, even in this shitty lighting, and Robert can tell he’s embarrassed. Part of him wants to go after him, expose his clear desire to have Robert tonight but he also feels warmth spread through him at Aaron’s attempts to ensure that they’re going home together and they’re going to finish happy.

And they will. Robert is going to make sure of it.

It’s just Aaron’s barely made it halfway to the toilet before some bloke is stopping him to chat and Robert has to stamp heavily on his rising irritation. Aaron doesn’t look at other men the way men look at him. He can pick out blokes he thinks are attractive but he doesn’t make the connection between that and thinking about ripping their clothes off. Definitely not like this guy obviously is doing right now.

Robert tries not to focus on him at all. He keeps his eyes on Aaron’s profile: the straight line of his nose, the roundedness of his jaw, the way his bottom lip is fuller than his top. All of these things bring the heat inside Robert’s belly as he sips at his glass. They are differing parts, all of which make up Aaron, and Robert has never wanted a man the way he has wanted him. He had wanted sex, gloriously uncomplicated sex with a guy he found fuckable, but instead he found someone righteous and unendingly kind. Life should have broken Aaron, instead it had forged him anew, always stronger, always better than before. The warmth he feels softens at the edges but loses none of its potency. He can see the strong swell of Aaron’s Adam’s apple when he swallows after he’s finished what he’s saying, his eyes flicking back towards Robert. Robert raises his glass to the guy, watches as his look darkens. He’s smug, for many reasons. He knows he looks good, hair swept up off his forehead, and tighter than necessary jeans – for Aaron’s benefit – that ride his exceptional arse and give him a swagger, but mostly because he knows Aaron is his. He doesn’t have to metaphorically piss on him because Aaron’s got those endlessly expressive blue eyes trained on him with a focus that can’t be denied. He isn’t interested in anyone else here. Especially not this bland scally from the back wilds of no one gives a fuck.

Okay, so he’s smug and a bit spiteful. His husband is the best looking man in the place and he isn’t sharing. The guy backs off and Aaron carries on his path to the loos, unscathed. But it’s too late, it’s under Robert’s skin that other blokes see what he sees and thinks that they can have that, him, for themselves.

Aaron notices the change in Robert as soon as he comes back. His brows are drawn in a frown, “What’s up with you?”

Robert puts his hand on Aaron’s waist and Aaron watches him, expectantly.

“You’re gorgeous.”

Aaron huffs like he doesn’t believe it, “Give over.”

“That guy didn’t care you were married, he just wanted you and I can’t blame him. I would definitely have you.” Robert lets his thumb rub against Aaron’s hipbone.

“Married me?” Aaron throws back, cockily.

“Any way I could have you.” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as sincere as it does but it’s the truth. Even when he was married all he ever wanted was Aaron.

Aaron smiles, small, as if he’s turning over the same memories as he rubs Robert’s elbow, “Don’t be daft.”

“You’re my beautiful husband whom I love. I’ll be as daft as I want.” Robert smiles and gives Aaron a soft kiss and comes away to see him smiling too.

 

 

They have another couple of drinks, just enjoying each other’s company. Robert doesn’t get so antsy these days, being in Bar West, he’s settled in his skin and he’s happy to see all the other couples tucked away in alcoves, hopefully sharing a fraction of what he has with his husband. His husband who is once again trapped by a man who wants to try his luck. Aaron doesn’t stop to chat this time, just grabs their drinks and warily eyes Robert on his way back.

Robert doesn’t say anything but Aaron looks like he’s waiting for him to. After a moment, Aaron stops and starts like he’s about to tell Robert what happened but then stops at the last minute.

He decides to throw Aaron a lifeline, “We’re burning that shirt when we get home. It’s giving off all the wrong ideas.”

“Yeah, and we can chuck in about half your wardrobe too.” Aaron gets the head of his beer on his upper lip and Robert just has to watch as he automatically tucks it into his mouth to get it clean. Robert’s been on an even keel most of the night, his wanting Aaron is a low level hum that just exists in his body and it just spikes when he sees Aaron say or do something that jolts him up a notch. Now he’s had a couple of beers, he feels the extra warmth spooling inside him as that spark of arrogance in Aaron just rides Robert hard. Takes him back to days when they shoved at each other and tried to fuck out their attraction. They have a bed and a house and their little family now but Robert can almost feel it like a physical block in his belly, how much he has always wanted Aaron. Back then, he had to live on scraps of time jaggedly torn out of both of their lives and how he only ever felt truly himself was when they buried themselves in each other. Now to be able to have that consistently and whenever he wants? He always wants.

Almost all at once, the spike becomes a switch, Robert puts his hand high on Aaron’s thigh, “Let’s go.”

Aaron considers it for a moment before he nods and his beer is an afterthought as he waits for Robert to shrug his jacket on, having chosen to forgo one himself. Robert is left trailing after Aaron, watching the strong line of his shoulders as he navigates their way out with confident strides. His want deepens. It becomes very real to Robert that he isn’t going to be able to wait until they get home to have what he feels like he needs.

 

 

“We’re in the middle of a street!” Aaron’s accent lilts and thickens with his incredulity.

Robert had pulled Aaron down the first open, darkened but not actually dark, turning before he crowded into his space, walking him back when their hips bump together before he tilted his head, “Okay, we’re in a back alley, and I don’t care.”

Aaron shakes his head now and lets his back hit the cool brick. His chin is jutting upwards in defiance as Robert walks his fingers up and down Aaron’s side. They end up chest to chest, and Aaron’s hands are holding Robert’s waist out of habit and Robert takes the opportunity to brush his nose against Aaron’s, tipping up slightly so that he follows. And he does. Aaron’s lips part naturally and Robert traces the open seam of his lips with the lightest of licks. Hands twitch and flex against Robert and he lets his body almost slip to the side, dragging the fabric of Aaron’s own shirt against him. Aaron’s fingers move to dig into the dips of Robert’s hips and hold him still, neither pulling him in or pushing him away. He’s interested, Robert knows it. It thrums under his skin with anticipation, what might happen.

Aaron lets his head rest against the wall before he sighs, “Rob.”

He isn’t saying no. He’s hedging, seeing what Robert is going to do before he decides how crazy it is, and Robert takes it as a win, brushing their mouths together, just catching his lips against Aaron’s and lets Aaron chase him when he decides it’s not enough. A hand comes up to the back of Robert’s head and clutches short strands between fingers to make sure he stays, but Robert isn’t willing to leave, not when Aaron forces his tongue into Robert’s mouth and Robert is helpless to do anything but accept what Aaron wants to do with him.

When Aaron finally gets him go, his mouth is shiny in the low light and it shoots straight to Robert’s dick. He never gets tired of how much he craves the physicality they have. How he knows that if he scratches his nails over Aaron’s nipples in his shirt he’ll buck forward, cock dragging in the crease of Robert’s groin. The little gasp when Robert pinches the right one is a bonus as Aaron rubs and rolls himself on the juncture between Robert’s thigh and hip.

“That’s it,” Robert tells him as he ducks his head down to graze his teeth over the delicate skin of Aaron’s neck.

“You’re a dickhead.” There’s no heat in it. Aaron’s playing with him, he can hear it in his voice.

Robert returns it, his smile wide and bright so that Aaron can feel it, “Yeah, but I’m your dickhead.”

Aaron exhales hard, still amused, and pulls at Robert’s hair to get him to come back up for another kiss. Soft, calm, nothing to belie the semi that’s fast becoming hardness in his jeans. Robert pops Aaron’s button, unzips them far enough that he can get his hand inside and plays just with the head. Now Aaron pulls Robert’s head back hard, worrying his teeth on the skin of his collarbone before giving Robert a sharp nip. Robert can’t help but drive his hips forward with a groan, swiping his thumb on the underside of Aaron in retaliation and taking satisfaction in how his whole body shudders. Thick and full, Robert strokes Aaron’s dick softly, careful of the dryness of his palm but Aaron bites his lip like he does when he wants to hold in his sighs.

“Lemme hear you.” Robert tells him, drawing him into another kiss, wet with spit as they roll and press their tongues against each other. “I wanna hear you.”

Aaron lets his hands fall to Robert’s arse before pulls him in, trapping his hand inside his jeans as Aaron drags their dicks against each other. His mouth is open with concentration but all Robert can see is how he looked two mornings ago after he sucked Robert’s cock in the shower, lips puffy and red, and he feels the first stirrings of dampness inside his own jeans. He’s not wearing underwear, he can’t with these jeans, and they’re doing him no favours as every press and drag from Aaron roughly rubs him almost the wrong side of raw.

Robert pulls away far enough that he can get on his knees and peel Aaron’s jeans down his thighs. Aaron grabs at his arms, and holds. Robert looks up at him, and there’s a moment. A pause. A silence where neither of them moves, and Robert waits. Lets Aaron decide what he wants to do. Slowly, he lets go of Robert and Robert slides back so that he’s sitting on his heels. There’s no mistaking what’s going on here. Before they might have gotten away with hugging and sharing a kiss after a night out, but now anyone who stumbles into this side street is going to get an eye full of Robert Sugden on his knees sucking his husband’s cock. There’s a little part of him that shivers with it, his body alone gives up a bead of pre-come at the thought.

But only with Aaron. Only ever Aaron.

“I want to pin you to this wall and fuck you, but I won’t. I want to rip these jeans off you and shove myself so far inside you that you feel me for days,” is the only preamble Robert offers before he yanks Aaron’s jeans and underwear down, freeing his cock to the air and swallowing him down to the back of his throat, hands still bunched in denim. Aaron’s reaction is seamless. He cries out as he doubles over, his hands grabbing at Robert’s shoulders. Robert breathes through his nose and bobs short and sharp over the head of Aaron’s dick to encourage him to thrust. It takes Aaron a second to understand but when he does he puts his hand to Robert’s cheek where if he presses with his thumb he can feel his own cock sliding hotly inside.

Robert doesn’t need both hands for this or even one as Aaron slowly starts to fuck down Robert’s throat. He lets go of Aaron’s clothes and puts his own hands to work undoing his jeans and freeing himself. His jeans are so stupidly tight that he can only free his cock, his balls are trapped in the heavy press of the crotch seam and it only adds to the sensation he gets from rubbing his hand cursorily over his shaft.

It’s all secondary to the thick heavy throb of Aaron on his tongue. The weight of him stretching Robert’s throat, his tiny huffs that cover half shuddered whimpers are all Robert needs to be satisfied. Let him be used and ridden hard. Let him be ruined and fucked out. He wants it. He swallows hard on Aaron’s thrust and has to catch Aaron’s hip with his hand to stop him from choking Robert as he jerks forward.

Aaron almost tips over on his toes as he curses, “Fuck.”

Robert looks up through his lashes when Aaron runs his hands through Robert’s hair, brushing it back off his face. Aaron traces where Robert’s lips are stretching around him with heated fascination as he pulls back for shallower thrusts, and Robert swirls his tongue around the head when he’s able and Aaron sighs heavily as he does. Robert’s grazing his fingers down the back of Aaron’s thigh and back up to press them behind Aaron’s balls. He’s ready this time and backs off before Aaron lurches forward. Aaron slides back and Robert lets him slip from his mouth, watches as his cock twitches and leaks when the air hits his wet skin. Robert strips his dick while trying to spread his knees further but he can’t. He takes Aaron back into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks at the tip only to get a rush of salty fluid on his tongue. He redoubles his efforts and works his hand over the part of Aaron’s cock that isn’t in his mouth and soaks up Aaron’s harsh breathing as he slaps one hand back on the wall and the other clutches in Robert’s hair.

“Rob,” Aaron warns but Robert ignores him, swallowing and flexing his throat before pulling off and repeating. He does it maybe three times before Aaron’s fingers tighten in his hair and he holds Robert in place as he spasms down his throat, chest heaving, belly clenching and releasing with every tremor of pleasure.

While Aaron tries to catch his breath, Robert manages to stand and shove his jeans down enough on his thighs that he can finally stroke himself unencumbered. Aaron pulls at his shirt so that they’re standing close enough that their foreheads touch when they both look down at Robert’s hand moving fast over his dick. His breathing quickens and Aaron tucks his face back into the crook of Robert’s neck, leaving wet open mouth kisses that leave Robert shivering when the cooler air hits them.

He’s got one hand jerking his cock and the other pulls at his balls until he’s thrusting into his tight fist. His voice is just a stream of grunts that level into cries when he twists his hand at the top. It builds and builds in the small of his back, low in his belly as his cock swells and come shoots out over where his fingers are curled around himself and onto the very bottom of Aaron’s shirt, soaking patches of the hem in its wake. Aaron palms over the head while Robert is squeezing out the last few drops of come and Robert can’t help but hiss and rock back. He does it again and Robert bats his hand away with a laugh. Aaron’s hand comes up and gently brings Robert’s face back to his, he drops one then two soft pecks on Robert’s lips and Robert just sighs. He’s happy. He has to wipe come on his jeans and fit himself back in awkwardly to his tight jeans but he feels slack in his bones and smiley when Aaron examines the damage to his shirt.

Robert nudges Aaron with his shoulder, “Let’s go home.”

Aaron looks up at him and nods. “Yeah.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely gonna shag you there.”

He laughs and bumps forward into Robert who lets himself be jostled. Aaron’s jeans are looser so there’s nothing to indicate he’s just come all the way down Robert’s throat but he knows. They both know, and Robert likes their secret.

The incredulity comes back, Aaron’s eyebrows raise as he takes Robert in, “You can’t be seriously ready to go again.”

Robert shrugs, a little bit smug. He isn’t hard so much as he hasn’t quite come back down past a half mast, “You’re very inspirational, Aaron.”

“I thought you’re supposed to have less sex when you get married.”

He returns Aaron’s raised eyebrows with one of his own, “Do you want to have less sex?”

Aaron huffs, “You know what I mean. One of these days my dick’s gonna fall off and then what are you going to do?”

“Nothing.” Robert says honestly. There’s nothing that Aaron could say or do or can happen to him that would make Robert stop loving or wanting him. “We can watch crap telly on the sofa till they find you a new one.”

That one earns him a shove and Robert lets himself be pushed back, Aaron comes away from the wall and offers Robert his hand so that he can lace their fingers together. Robert squeezes their joined hands,

“I love you. Happy almost anniversary.”

Aaron ducks his head, the blush creeping back, and he nods. Robert presses a kiss to his forehead and starts to lead them out of the turning to the cab rank so they can go home and start working on that shit telly he was talking about.

Chapter Text

They’re back together.

Everything is great, they’ve just moved Robert’s stuff into the Mill, and they are deliriously happy.

Except that there is a nagging feeling in Robert’s gut and he can’t shake it.

 

Aaron’s out on a scrap call out so early that Robert woke up with him, went back to sleep, woke up again to brush his teeth and have a cup of tea before going back to bed at 8am. He’s only been dozing under the duvet when Aaron drags himself back in to bed and Robert opens his eyes to the lovely expanse of Aaron’s bare back. Robert cranes his head over Aaron and sees the trail and then pile of clothes that are heaped on the floor on his side of the bed. Where Robert’s moved, he’s managed to drag the duvet mostly off of Aaron, who sleeps through it and actually turns his head and tucks it down on the pillow away from Robert.

He’s not wearing any pants either.

Robert internally curses him because the sight of his naked arse before 9am is on the list of things that are officially Too Much. His dick doesn’t need an invitation to announce itself. It's the morning and he knows that, as his eyes travel the curves and dips of Aaron’s body from his shoulders to the backs of his knees, is enough to get him hard. He feels himself stiffen against his own thigh where he’s laying on his side and for the first time he doesn’t know what to do. Before he would have just woken up Aaron with a kiss on his shoulder and a fondling hand on his arse. But that was before. Now there’s a distance between them that Robert can’t even quantify. They do things together, eat and drink together, have great sex together, but it’s not the same.

Neither of them are the same.

Aaron moves again, rolling over onto his back as he tries to make himself comfortable in his sleep. He pulls his right leg up so that his foot is on the bed and his knee is folded towards the ceiling. Robert knows exactly what it would feel like to settle himself between those thighs. How Aaron’s belly curves inward at the first touch of Robert’s lips to his dick. Robert’s erection doesn’t fade, now it throbs with all the memories running through his head and he can’t help but run a quick hand over it and sigh at the sensations. He catches himself on the head with his palm and his body gives a little jerk. Robert bites his lip and thinks, fuck it. He mirrors Aaron’s body with his leg pulled up and foot planted for leverage as he rocks gently into a loosely made fist. He’s barely skating his fingers across himself and he feels the zings of pleasure that course around his body. He turns to his left and pulls the lube out of the drawer. He uses just enough to coat his dick and dull the fire that’s too easily burning inside him. Robert closes his eyes lets his hips rock against the mattress as he moans softly to himself.

He doesn’t expect Aaron’s hand to slide in under his and take up jerking him off. He gives Aaron a half moan that he cuts off in his throat when he looks over at him as he shuffles closer to Robert’s side. He throws his leg over the one Robert’s got lying flat against the bed, trapping it under him as he keeps up his motion. Robert doesn’t really know what to do with himself, his hand is loose over Aaron’s wrist and the other is bunched up in the bed sheet as he watches those thick fingers he loves so much slide up and down on his dick. Eventually Aaron lets him go, his cock slapping against his belly and he automatically takes up where he’s been left. Aaron doesn’t move, but he does grab the lube from the folds of the bed and gets a hand on himself before Robert can see him getting himself off, looking over to see how Aaron reaches the top of his shaft and runs his fingers over the head the way he likes.

They’re sharing Robert’s pillow where Aaron’s on his side, mouth slightly dropped open as he increases his speed and Robert turns his head to catch Aaron’s lips, licking his way inside, the roof of Aaron’s mouth, behind his teeth, wherever he can reach, and Aaron pushes back, sucking on Robert’s tongue and biting on his bottom lip when he pulls away to breathe. Robert feels the first smear of moisture low on his belly and he looks down at their joint efforts. Aaron’s just out of range for rubbing himself off Robert’s side and Robert wants it, he rolls his body so they face each other, hair breadth away, their knuckles bumping occasional as they jerk themselves. Robert focuses on Aaron’s dick; the thickness, the length, and his mouth almost waters at the thought of getting his lips around it. Instead, he locks his leg over the ankle of Aaron’s leg between his and bats his hand way, using his own hand to hold both of their cocks together and jacks them both. It's awkward, so Aaron makes up the distance that Robert can’t reach and they start fucking upwards into the space their joined hands have made.

Robert tries to memorise everything he sees, from Aaron’s concentrating face to the dark sweep of his lashes when he looks down. It’s hard though, he feels how the edges of everything blur now with looping pleasure; his hand is rough, almost scraping, but it feeds into the contrast of Aaron’s silky skin sliding against him. He surges forward to kiss Aaron again, to trade open mouthed breaths as they both huff and whimper into each other’s mouths. Robert falls back first, gripping his own dick as he wanks himself hard, his body moving in tandem with his hand to spill over Aaron’s dick and belly. Robert curls forward and leans his head on Aaron’s collarbone as he lets the tremors dissipate. Aaron doesn’t stop, he strokes the ridged vein that runs on top of his cock and palms himself before he bites his lip and spurts ropes of come onto Robert’s hip.

There’s a rivulet of come sliding down Aaron’s cock and Robert circles his fingers around Aaron and squeezes it back up. Aaron grunts and rolls away onto his back. Except Robert doesn’t let him go. He makes himself a space between Aaron’s thighs as he looks down at Robert with a curious glance. Robert pecks a kiss on his lips, bracing himself over Aaron on his arms before he rolls his pelvis against Aaron’s still hard but flagging erection. He immediately tries to curl up on himself, the sensation too intense but Robert rolls his hips again, smaller, pressing harder still, and Aaron grabs at his waist and Robert lets him push him off for a moment.

“Robert,” Aaron eyes him. Robert looks back, as innocent as he can manage before he lays himself completely on top of Aaron, and rubs his belly hard against the softening but not soft skin. Aaron digs his fingers into Robert’s sides and his knees come up to bounce off Robert’s hips.

Robert watches as Aaron winces. It’s not true pain but harsh shocks of stimulation, and Robert keeps watching as he pushes against Aaron again. This time he plants his heels into the bed to try and buck Robert off, but Robert’s got the height advantage and he uses his lower centre of gravity to pin Aaron’s hips to the bed with his own. He rolls on his toes up and back down as Aaron jerks hard in the small amount of space he’s been given.

“Just work through it,” Robert encourages as he uses Aaron’s attempts to shove him off to get his hands under him and is cupping a cheek of Aaron’s arse in each hand and uses that to make sure there is no space between them. Aaron spreads his legs wide and closes them again as he tries to cope with the sensations Robert is forcing him to feel. Robert can’t help but watch the fascinating play of emotions on Aaron’s face as he bites his lips and screws his eyes shut.

Robert knows how terrible it is, but he wants more. He wants Aaron to remember this when he gets up to go to work properly, when he’s in the shop buying stupid things like milk. He wants Aaron to never forget what goes on here, so he gets his hand between their bellies and rubs his thumb over Aaron’s still moist slit and savours the cry and shudder Aaron gives him.

“Robert, come on.” Aaron’s pleading now, his face and chest have a light sheen to them where his body has become overworked and overwrought. Robert’s pretty sure it goes all the way down to his dick and he gives it another tug at the head and Aaron tries to roll to the side and Robert’s bulk won’t let him. Another weak push at Robert’s shoulder before Aaron falls back onto the pillows.

“I can’t. I really can’t.” Aaron half moans as he tries to wriggle his way up the bed and away from Robert. Robert isn’t giving him any slack as he presses down on his hand and Aaron’s cock with his body and roughly shoves against them. He catches his own dick on Aaron’s hip and that gives him pause as he rides out the same pleasure pain that he’s inflicting on Aaron but it doesn’t stop him. Aaron’s whimpered sighs that slip out of him, unbidden, make sure that he’ll never stop.

He breathes next to Aaron’s ear, bracing on his forearm as he licks the long path of his throat before he tells him: “You can. I know you can.”

Another swipe of his thumb and Aaron’s just mindlessly rocking, just softly curling his hips back and forth against Robert’s hand and his stomach as his body tries to figure out if it should stop or keep going. He shakes his head like he’s fighting an internal battle with himself and Robert brings him back with a kiss, curling his tongue against Aaron’s until he opens his eyes and returns the kiss. Then Robert lets him go, shifts slightly on his side so that he can fold his knee and keep his balance as he tucks it under Aaron’s left thigh. He spits onto his hand and rubs it over Aaron’s cock, to ease any chafing but nothing more, before he rides down on him again. He isn’t even trying to move Robert now, tired from the strain, so Robert slips his fingers to the space behind Aaron’s balls and rubs two fingers firmly against his perineum. 

The hand comes back to his shoulder as Aaron tries to shove him again, “Don’t!”

Robert checks in that Aaron is okay, he’s biting his lip and minutely rocking against Robert, so Robert lets his fingers rub back and forth, firmer when he’s back towards Aaron’s arse, simulating the feeling of when he pushes and breeches him by how his fingers press. The hand on his shoulder palms it before Aaron holds on, his fingers becoming five points of pressure as he grips onto Robert. It doesn’t last. Robert rolls off so that he can sit back on his ankles before he rubs another circuit into Aaron’s skin. Now he has the use of his other hand so he thumbs the most sensitive part of Aaron’s dick, the underside of the head and watches as his body wakes up again.

“Please,” Aaron breathes but Robert can tell he doesn’t know what he’s asking for. He leans down and sucks on tip of Aaron’s dick, lips covering teeth as he flicks his tongue over suffering flesh and lets him thrust forward and almost into Robert’s throat before he pulls off with a wet pop.

It’s the last push he needed because now Aaron’s breathing is coming raggedly, his body tightening up as he folds himself around Robert, his hands cupping Robert’s head where he’s breathing over Aaron’s dick and stripping him with tighter and tighter strokes when his straining cock finally gives up the last bit of come Robert knows he’ll get out of him. Aaron flops back onto the bed and Robert licks the bit of come up with his tongue. He pets Aaron’s thighs as they quiver with exertion.

Aaron has thrown his arm over to cover his eyes and Robert keeps brushing his fingertips over the delicate hairs on Aaron’s inner thighs as he recovers.

“Jesus.” Is all Aaron says for awhile so Robert crawls his way back up and lays down on his side of the bed, head returning to the natural indent of his pillow. Aaron eventually comes out from under his arm and blinks a few times at Robert who has half got his eyes closed for going back to sleep. He’s half drifting off when Aaron’s calloused palm cups his cheek and his lips soon follow over his. It’s sleepy and Robert only really opens up enough so that Aaron can kiss his bottom lip then his top before he pulls back and they look at each other.

The thing about Aaron is that he’s always reading between the lines. His eyes are searching for whatever triggered Robert’s need to pull a stunt like this, it’s not usual fare for them but not unheard of, but he knows there is something to look for and he isn’t going to stop until he’s ripped open all of Robert’s wounds looking for the source of the bleed.

“I thought I was losing you,” Robert sighs. Aaron frowns immediately and starts to say something but Robert shakes his head. “Not like we were going to break up. You’re here, but you’re not here. It’s like I can’t get at you wherever you are sometimes.”

Aaron looks down, “I’m sorry.”

Robert grabs his hand, “It’s not like that. I just. I miss you. I want we had, when I looked at you and I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That you wanted me back.”

And there it is. Part of Robert wishes they had done this in a fight, that it was something that could have been ripped out of him violently with anger and frustration rather than the soft understanding Aaron is offering him. He fucked it all up and now he doesn’t know how to read the one person he always knew how to.

Aaron’s face softens, “Robert…”

“This is my fault. I did this, but I don’t know how to fix it.” Robert feels the sting of tears in the back of his eyes, the way his throat gets painful and tight, and he doesn’t want to cry. He doesn’t. He just doesn’t know if he can do any of this without Aaron.

There’s silence because what could either of them really say. What’s done is done. Aaron wraps his arm around Robert’s waist in a loose hug,

“We’re going to be okay.”

Robert swallows and searches Aaron’s face. He didn’t dismiss Robert’s concerns or tell him that they weren’t true, he’s promising instead that they will get through it. That he isn’t going to leave. Robert lets his body breathe and hang as he cuddles himself under Aaron’s chin, returning the one-armed embrace.

They’re going to be okay.

Robert can live with that.

Chapter Text

He’s barely got back off holiday when he hears the news: Robert and Lawrence. At first, he thinks it’s a joke but he knows Robert. Knows what he’s willing to do to get what he wants and he feels sick. He knew he had been scheming, up to god knows what but this? This is too much.

Aaron leans against his kitchen counter with his tea and tries to understand what Robert is doing. What purpose does this serve? Rebecca’s pregnant, getting one over on her dad seems entirely pointless. To go on dates and be a couple. He hates that if he wants answers, real ones, he’s going to have to go to the source.

 

None of it turns out how he planned. He ends up at Home Farm a little after 9 and he’s fuming. Robert is in his ‘office’ looking like butter wouldn’t melt and Aaron wants to deck him. Luckily, no one else is about, not that he gives a shit but he never knows how a row with Robert will turn out.

“You right, don’t give me the run around.”

Robert holds his hands up, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sometimes it would be so easy to punch his stupid face.

“You and Lawrence, something you want to tell me?” Aaron spits out and feels vindicated when Robert’s face drops.

Robert regroups, Aaron can see it in the play he makes getting up and walking to stand in front of him, “I’ve moved on.”

It’s honestly laughable but Aaron can’t stem the flow of his anger.

“Right into the bed of a man you hate? Are you seriously that fucked up?”

Robert recoils like he’s been slapped and Aaron hates himself. Hates how cruel he can be when he wants to hurt Robert.

“I didn’t mean that.”

“What did you mean? You left me, Aaron. You. Left. Me.” Robert isn’t pointing at him, but if he was, Aaron could feel it digging into his chest.

Except he can’t help but internally scream: you destroyed me! Are we even yet?!

Aaron feels his body sag,

“What are you doing, Robert? What is it all for?”

He isn’t really asking. It just sounds like heavy judgement and that makes it like red to a bull. Aaron can’t stop his stomach dropping in surprise when Robert grabs the fabric of his hoodie and shoves him hard up against the wall behind Robert’s desk.

“Why are you here?!”

It’s supposed to sound like anger but Aaron hears the edge of a plea in it. It’s like he can’t stop himself when he reaches out and touches Robert’s chest. Just a hand over his old scar.

“Aaron,” Robert lets his head drop between his shoulders, the fight gone out of him as soon as it had come. Aaron slides his hand up touching his shirt, neck and eventually burying it in his hair. He shakes his head, not to shake Aaron off but because he looks like he can’t imagine it’s true.

Robert’s head is still down, he exhales hard out of his mouth, his body shaking with the intensity of whatever he’s feeling.

Aaron lets his body roll off the wall and gets into Robert’s personal space. Robert has to lift his head to avoid Aaron barrelling into him and Aaron sees so much pain in Robert’s face that he feels it like a physical cut alongside all the others.  

Robert’s eyes are moist when he looks at Aaron: “I don’t care, I don’t care. I don’t care about any of it.”

It’s an empty and broken confession that makes Robert seem so small in Aaron’s eyes. So he wraps his arms high around Robert’s shoulders, gathering him up in a hug and feels Robert’s cheek on his shoulder while he rubs little circles into his back.

With his nose tucked into Aaron’s neck, Robert breathes him like he hasn’t seen him in years, “It’s you. It’s only ever going to be you.”

It’s so cliché that Aaron wants to hate it, but Robert’s honesty just seeps into him through all the cracks they’ve made hurting each other over the years. He uses his hand to cup Robert’s cheek and bring him up to face him. He doesn’t say anything, he can’t, he just brushes his mouth barely against Robert’s, then again, harder, and catching his top lip after that. Robert sighs and opens his mouth, fitting them together in the ways they should, catching Aaron gently with his teeth before he swipes his tongue in to soothe any hurt.

It feels only natural that his body responds and he has no doubt Robert can feel it when he steps in, both hands on Aaron’s face, and takes another slow kiss from him. It’s easy to let him in, to feel Robert’s tongue press hotly against his own as he clings to Robert’s elbows before rubbing his arms. Everything is so loud in the quiet of the room, their breathing getting heavier and heavier as Robert gently turns them and walks Aaron back over to his desk.

Aaron knows he should stop, he should put his hands on Robert’s chest and stop him, but he can’t. He’s too open and raw, and when Robert’s hands come around under his arse and pull up, and Aaron tips back, hitting bum down on Robert’s desk. There’s no gap between that and how Robert fits himself into the open space between his thighs, hands rubbing up and down before pushing at Aaron to see if he’ll spread them further. He doesn’t, his breath has all but stopped in his throat, he can’t think, can’t move, he’s so focused on Robert above him looking completely wrecked.

Instead, Robert changes tact. They both watch as he pulls down the zip of Aaron’s hoodie, anticipation pooling in Aaron’s groin as his hand reaches the bottom. He doesn’t stop him either when he brushes Aaron’s black top up his belly and under his neck to gets his mouth on one nipple and then the other. Robert’s mouth licks and sucks and scrapes against sensitive skin and Aaron just lets it wash over him, his ankles hooked behind Robert’s calves to trap him and his hands on Robert’s hips to stabilise himself.

The hoodie comes off, chucked on the floor somewhere, Robert’s blazer goes with it and Aaron is rubbing up and down the starchy fabric of his shirt and he can see peeks of Robert’s stomach where it’s come free of his trousers. The air has a fullness as Aaron watches Robert unbutton his shirt, like they’re at a tipping point and either way they’re going to fall. He’s happy to see that Robert’s skin is just how he remembers it, pale but dotted with hundreds of freckles he’s never had the patience to count. He leans forward and sucks a kiss just above his belly button, feeling softness over muscle and Robert’s hands in his hair as they run through it.

He reaches for Robert’s belt but he’s stopped, Robert steps back and pulls him to stand by his wrists. His fingers skate the hem of Aaron’s top, unsure, and Aaron nods, toeing out of his trainers and lets his arms go up as Robert pulls. They both work his trackies and his pants down and Robert gets on his knees to take them off each leg. He stays, his breathing ghosting across Aaron’s dick. Aaron forces himself to hold still as Robert keeps his eyes on Aaron’s cock, watching it bob when he twitches. Robert’s fingertips stroke featherlight along Aaron’s length before his tongue swirls at the head, sucking gently at his foreskin. It draws out a soft moan from deep in Aaron’s chest and he feels the loss of it when Robert stands up, fingertips still gently stroking but barely enough pressure for Aaron to feel anything but little spasms of sensation from simply being touched.

Robert pushes forward and Aaron is forced to sit back on the desk, looking up as Robert unbuckles his belt. He can’t help but give himself a couple of helpful tugs as Robert’s trousers drop and he shoves his pants down after, his cock bouncing a little as its freed and he moves. Aaron doesn’t even realise he’s biting his lip until Robert touches it with his thumb. Aaron tilts his chin up and Robert follows him down, kissing the abused flesh and sucking on it before pulling back to admire his work. He’s close enough that Aaron rubs his nose against his, and he isn’t even sure why he does it but he can’t help but feel love when Robert smiles so sweetly back at him.

They kiss again and Robert grabs Aaron’s thighs and pulls him to the edge of the desk in one quick motion. Aaron braces himself with one arm slightly behind himself and the other he gets around Robert’s waist and drags him down so that their chests are brushing against each other and he can feel Robert bumping against him and then sliding in the crease between his own dick and hipbone.

With both hands, Robert folds Aaron’s legs up, holding them behind his knees as the position forces him to lay mostly on his back, Robert crouches down to put his mouth on skin between Aaron’s balls and his arse. Aaron grabs himself again as he rocks back and forth, Robert sucking one ball and then other into his mouth. Aaron screws his eyes shut and expels a plea to God and pulls at his dick as Robert makes his way back up and over his hand and sucks on the head. Aaron’s hips try to come off the desk but he’s still being held by Robert, and is pinned by it, but he can’t help the little circles he’s rolling in as Robert licks back down, back to that same smooth skin and sucks it into his mouth.  

“Robert.” It’s all he can think, it’s all that comes out as Robert lets his legs come down and fall either side of his hips as he stands. Robert pulls on his waist so that they knock against each other and Aaron feels the wetness of Robert’s cock slip against him and how Robert’s fingers bump up against him as he gives himself a few light touches. Aaron sits up, intending to get his mouth on him but he gets Robert’s palm flat on his stomach, with him shaking his head. He pushes at Aaron’s hip and backs off enough that Aaron can roll onto his belly.

The wood of the desk is almost cool for a few seconds before it warms up to Aaron’s body. He spreads his legs wider so it’s easier for him to rest on it, especially when Robert’s fingers brush his rim and he skates across the top with surprise. A hand presses on the small of his back before it disappears and Aaron turns his head to the side to catch Robert slipping his wallet out of his pocket, unfolding it and getting out a sachet of lube. It’s an old packet, Aaron remembers when they’d bought them, Robert hadn’t been over keen because he thought it dried up too quickly. The rest of the box is sitting at the bottom of his cupboard so unless Robert has bought more, it’s from their time together. It’s a funny thought, but something settles in Aaron’s skin, he sees less of this old version of Robert, more of Robert, his husband.

He rips the packet open with his teeth while parting Aaron’s cheeks and drips it directly onto his arse. The way it dribbles onto him, cold and thick, almost brings a chill to his heated skin but it also has him biting his lip with the way it feels when Robert spreads it with his fingers before slipping one inside. Aaron feels himself get heavy lidded as Robert curls his finger and manages to get a second one in after a couple of testing thrusts. Aaron tries to grab at the smooth surface of the table when Robert’s fingers finally hit deep enough inside him and he purposely spreads his fingertips, pressing as he goes, but it’s futile. Aaron can feel his mouth is open in a wet O as he breathes hastily in and out, his shoulder going down to the desk along with his cheek so that his hand can move to free his cock from the trap of between his body and the desk, and he plays with the underside of his foreskin, crying out when that feeling meets with the electric shocks of Robert’s fingers.  

Robert puts more lube inside him with three fingers and Aaron just groans and tries to widen his stance. He’s leaking a bit now, his hand swiping at the top to spread it further down as he fucks back onto Robert’s fingers and forward into his own hand. He thinks about how he must look, so ready to be fucked that his cock gives up another spurt of pre-come and Aaron pushes back enough that he takes Robert in till his last knuckle. Robert obviously takes this as a sign of Aaron’s readiness because there’s nothing but emptiness until he feels the slow breech of the head of Robert’s dick just after. He’s tight, he knows it, but Robert is so hot where he’s pushing inside that Aaron wonders if he has a fever. He throws his free hand back a little wildly, trying to feel for Robert’s hip but Robert catches it and folds it so it rests on the small of his back.

“Aaron,” Robert calls to him. Aaron shakes his head. He can’t talk, he’s being stuffed too full, and he feels too tight in his skin.

Robert tries again, “Aaron. It’s okay. I love you.”

Robert curls himself against Aaron’s back, skin to skin and it forces him so deep inside Aaron that he can’t help the sob that comes out of him. Robert barely pulls out of him before he slides back in, he does it again and again, but it eases none of the want in Aaron’s belly. Aaron speeds up his hand on his cock and Robert pulls it away and makes it join the other on Aaron’s back, standing again and snapping his hips so that they bounce against Aaron’s arse.

“I love you. I love you so much. God, you feel so good.” Robert’s ramblings are laboured as he picks up his pace, Aaron doing little more than accepting the vigorous drive of Robert’s hips as he starts to tilt up towards the good spot inside Aaron. He doesn’t hit it the first time or the second but Robert’s constantly adjusting until Aaron lunges as far forward on the desk as he can go while Robert is still holding his hands. He uses them to pull Aaron back onto his cock and Aaron rolls his head along cool wood until he’s resting his forehead on the desk and feeling how his breath is rebounding off it and back onto him.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

Aaron doesn’t even think Robert knows what he’s saying. He’s caught up in the pleasure and none of the reality. The desk rattles and Aaron thinks he sees a stapler fall off the end and he tries to keep that in mind as he whimpers on a deep thrust. He wants to believe Robert, he does, but he can’t. Robert manages to keep both Aaron’s hands in his one and he leans back over him, his free hand in Aaron’s hair and tugging it gently so his head and shoulders come up. Robert tucks his face in the slope of his neck and collarbone and bites it with only a bit of blunt force, Aaron’s hips kick up at it, the pleasure zinging straight to his balls and Robert does it again, slowing down, rolling his pelvis so tightly against Aaron’s bum that he can feel his pubic hair.

Aaron grunts in frustration, he can’t touch anything, can’t grasp anything with his hands trapped so he pulls at Robert’s grip and Robert lets him go. His hands immediately go to Robert’s hips, trying to grab at his arse to pull him in for those deep snapping shoves of his cock. Robert seems to understand what he’s getting at and obliges him. Aaron can’t stop his whimpers now. Every drive of Robert’s hips sends new pleasure shooting down his spine and he rocks his body to meet those thrusts. Robert slows down even further, and there’s no rhythm now, just targeted pinpoint jabs at Aaron’s prostate and Aaron’s shaking with it. He doesn’t touch his cock but he still crests with rippling pleasure and shoots all over the floor and his own thighs.

Almost as if it was unavoidable, the tightness of his body drags Robert over the precipice too. He wraps his hands under Aaron’s shoulders and drops his head between them and fucks his orgasm into him in circling movements. That’s when Aaron feels it, Robert’s come coating him almost like a brand, a different kind of heat and slickness burying itself inside him, trapped by the dick throbbing against his walls. Robert lets him go to lay flat on the desk, he’s still shaking and spurting drips of come inside Aaron when he blankets himself over Aaron’s back and keeps up both of their pleasure with his tiny little thrusts.

Robert murmurs against his skin, “I love you.”

Aaron closes his eyes and tries to pretend that it isn’t everything. That he didn’t just let a man he thought was fucking someone else come inside him. Nothing’s changed and the heavy weight of everything is creeping back onto his chest.

When they finally part the lube has basically dried up and the drag is somewhat uncomfortable but it doesn’t stop Robert from freezing when he realises what has happened too. His fingers touch at Aaron’s rim where he’s slightly puffy and the come is starting to leak a bit.

“I didn’t—”

“It’s okay. Neither of us did.” Aaron tries to wave it off but they’re both raw with implications. This was something they did together because they loved each other.

Robert offers him tissues from his desk but only a good hot shower is going to sort this out.

Aaron closes his eyes and then blinks them open, “I love you.”

Robert looks up from where he’s sorting out Aaron’s clothes for him.

“But I can’t,” Aaron shakes his head, “I can’t do this with you. Keep watching you implode over them. Not when—”

Not when one of them is the mother of your child.

He knows now, why Robert’s here. That what Liv had told him was true. Robert’s here for what they took from him. Aaron. And he loves Robert for it, that he can mean so much to this man he loves, but he can’t be a part of it.

They both come together with arms around each other’s waists. Aaron lets himself kiss Robert one more time, to feel his soft moment of hesitancy before he presses harder against Aaron’s mouth. He feels the wetness on Robert’s cheeks before he even opens his eyes. He puts his hands on either side of Robert’s face and wipes at his tears while he’s unable to stop his own.

“I love you.” Aaron tells him again.

Robert nods, “I know.”

Aaron is unable to make himself let go, so he tells him again, “I love you.”

Robert pulls him into a proper hug and whispers in his ear where they’re pressed together, “I love you too.”

 

Aaron takes his shower as hot as he can stand it before crawls into his bed on Robert’s side and cries into his pillow until there’s nothing left.