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The Mistakes We Make Lead Us

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OceanMan added hunky-dory, PardonMyFrench, ThatVodkaAunt, fluttershay, SamuraiJack, and keef to Should've Picked Mercy

  

keef: What

 

keef: What is this

 

OceanMan: i dont know if u can read but i think that writes group chat

 

keef: No I

 

keef: I can read just fine asshat

 

keef: But I’m saying why

 

OceanMan: this isnt a verbal conversation Keith i cant hear what ur saying

 

keef: I swear I'm going to strangle you 

 

OceanMan: that a promise?? ;))

 

PardonMyFrench: not even 2 minutes

 

PardonMyFrench: 2 MINUTES

 

PardonMyFrench: have passed and you guys are already on each other’s dicks?

 

OceanMan: >:0

 

hunky-dory: PIDGE NO

 

PardonMyFrench: >B)) 

 

PardonMyFrench: am i wrong??

 

PardonMyFrench: didnt think so

 

OceanMan: ANYWAYS

 

OceanMan: if you must know

 

OceanMan: I've decided to make a new group chat since SOMEBODY

 

OceanMan: -not pointing fingers here-

 

OceanMan: Keith

 

OceanMan: deleted

 

OceanMan: Keith deleted it

 

OceanMan: our last one and so now IM the host instead of someone else

 

OceanMan: im talking about Keith

 

PardonMyFrench: gee, I wonder who it was

 

keef: Ha ha

 

fluttershay: Sorry but why have I been added? Not to be rude of course!

 

fluttershay: I’m just not as close to you all. I don’t want to intrude

 

OceanMan: my sweet sweet Shay.. we need at least an ounce of innocence to be added into this hell of a chat

 

OceanMan: you would never be intruding

 

fluttershay: Oh

 

fluttershay: I'll try the best I can then!

 

PardonMyFrench: and Hunk?

 

OceanMan: what about Hunk

 

PardonMyFrench: haven't you referred to him as the light of your life, the best of your bros, the ignacio to your sebastian?

 

OceanMan: Hunk is a dirty diary reading quiznak who would gossip ur secrets to ur siblings

 

keef: Oh my god Lance quiznak will never be a thing, let it go

 

hunky-dory: d u d e

 

hunky-dory: you had it RIGHT there!! What else was i supposed to do?

 

hunky-dory: Not read it?

 

OceanMan: yes!! thats exactly what u should have done!

 

SamuraiJack: Hunk

 

OceanMan: OOOOOH

 

OceanMan: daddy has arrived!! 

 

OceanMan: me likey 

 

SamuraiJack: Lance

 

PardonMyFrench: that speaks volumes, and its only a single word

 

hunky-dory: uH

 

SamuraiJack: This may have happened however long ago but reading something that's personal to someone like that is really disappointing to hear, I can see Lance's resentment 

 

SamuraiJack: When did this happen by the way? 

 

hunky-dory: this.. uh.. happened like a week ago

 

SamuraiJack: Oh

 

SamuraiJack: I expected this to be at least a few years back..but uh, okay

 

fluttershay: Aw, Lance, you still own a diary?

 

OceanMan: AKSDPD

 

OceanMan: HUNK

 

OceanMan: BETRAYED x2

 

PardonMyFrench: ooh, get a combo Hunk!

 

keef: What a loser

 

SamuraiJack: If I recall correctly, you seem to be in possession of a journal :)

 

keef: SHIRT

 

SamuraiJack: :))

 

hunky-dory: Shirt

 

futtershay: Haha, he said shirt!

 

PardonMyFrench: shirt

 

TheVodkaAunt: Shirt

 

keef: Really Allura?

 

TheVodkaAunt: It’s funny Keith, I can't help but laugh!

 

OceanMan: WOAH WOAH go back to the journal part

 

OceanMan: now that i want to hear

 

keef: Lets talk about your diary then

 

hunky-dory: well

 

OceanMan: Hunk nO

 

hunky-dory: Don’t worry buddy, i would never sell you out like that!

 

OceanMan: why do u fill this chat with your lies??

 

OceanMan: YOU LITERALLY TOLD ARELI AND POLLO

 

hunky-dory: THEY CORNERED ME LANCE!

 

OceanMan: BY CORNERED DO YOU MEAN SPRINTING UP TO THEM AND SPITTING OUT THE GOSSIP?

 

OceanMan: YEAH

 

OceanMan: ‘CORNERED’

 

hunky-dory: IM SORRY

 

hunky-dory: YOU KNOW HOW I AM!

 

OceanMan: …

 

hunky-dory: Please? I’m sorry

 

hunky-dory: Your life's interesting 

 

OceanMan: mmm..

 

OceanMan: flattery will get u no where

 

PardonMyFrench: this is getting sad you guys

 

PardonMyFrench: Im so sorry Shay that you have to be dealing with us from now on

 

fluttershay: No worries! I find this quite enjoyable

 

hunky-dory: I swear I only read like 2 pages

 

hunky-dory: or more...

 

hunky-dory: But to repair our friendship I’ll cook your favorite- garlic knots??

 

OceanMan: …

 

OceanMan: can u also make those sopes i love? with the cream cheese and everything?

 

hunky-dory: well of course

 

OceanMan: . . . !!

 

OceanMan: HUNK YOU SAINT OF A MAN, I hereby forgive you for your traitorous deeds!

 

hunky-dory: Wanna come to my house tomorrow? We can walk over

 

hunky-dory: can even stop by your favorite cafe shop <3

 

OceanMan: !!! <3

 

OceanMan: MARRY ME

 

OceanMan: Sorry Shay

 

hunky-dory: dude

 

fluttershay: I’m not sure I understand. Why would you be apologizing?

 

OceanMan: the answer is very simple Shay darling

 

SamuraiJack: Lance stop typing

 

keef: I love it

 

OceanMan: bite me mullet

 

TheVodkaAunt: I respect you expressing your kink and not being ashamed to do so with us but don’t

 

OceanMan: ITS NOT 

 

TheVodkaAunt: Did you not just call out Hunk for filling this chat with his lies? Lance, you are doing the same thing!!

 

OceanMan: W H A T

 

PardonMyFrench: the hypocrisy of it all

 

PardonMyFrench: but anyways, aside from Lance’s growing list of kinks, I have some news

 

OceanMan: >:^((

 

SamuraiJack: What is it?

 

PardonMyFrench: Okay okay..

 

PardonMyFrench: MATT IS COMING BACK NEXT WEEK!!

 

OceanMan: say HUH???

 

SamuraiJack: I thought that wasn’t until a month or so? Is he really coming that early? He didn’t tell me this…

 

TheVodkaAunt: Shiro, your gay is showing

 

SamuraiJack: Considering he’s my boyfriend Allura I sure damn hope so. You know how long I’ve been waiting to kiss him? To hug him and just chat without the struggle of trying to set up Skype

 

PardonMyFrench: did I not help you with that?

 

keef: He’s old Pidge, you can’t expect him to remember something so simple

 

SamuraiJack: I’m like 4 years older!

 

keef: Potato potato

 

hunky-dory: ????

 

PardonMyFrench: back up

 

PardonMyFrench: ive been on the receiving end of both of your gross endless love fest all summer! your gonna have to wait till I catch up with MY brother. I dont need you both smacking lips when im trying to show him the new program I installed into my software

 

SamuraiJack: Well, it’s a shame you’re not picking him up :))

 

fluttershay: 'smacking of lips' haha

 

PardonMyFrench: SHIRO DON’T YOU DARE

 

PardonMyFrench: Lance your driving me to the airport, ASAP as possible

 

OceanMan: Oh, im sorry, i thought she was and i quote a “shit car that produced more smoke than my uncle’s crack pipe”

 

PardonMyFrench: is really now the time to be bringing up receipts

 

hunky-dory: Plus I fixed that problem!

 

OceanMan: you have to apologize first of all to baby Blue 

 

PardonMyFrench: for stating the truth?? no way

 

OceanMan: then u don’t get a ride u ankle biter!

 

PardonMyFrench: again with your biting kink! i already told you im not into you!!

 

OceanMan: NGGGH—

 

keef: I could give you a ride

 

PardonMyFrench: my emo in fingerless gloves!! yes!!

 

fluttershay: You own a vehicle, Keith?

 

keef: A motorcycle

 

keef: I got it not that long ago actually

 

keef: Better than Lance’s shit car

 

OceanMan: WHAT

 

OceanMan: I GAVE YOU RIDES HOME BEFORE YOU GOT THAT YOU UNGRATEFUL QUIZNAK

 

TheVodkaAunt: Wait

 

TheVodkaAunt: hold on a tick, when did you give him these rides

 

OceanMan: uuh.. it was before christmas break i think? why

 

TheVodkaAunt: You gave Keith rides but not ME? Your princess? I live closer to you!

 

PardonMyFrench: ooooooooh???

 

SamuraiJack: I’d love to hear this

 

OceanMan: id rather not thank you

 

OceanMan: aaand shes typing

 

TheVodkaAunt: He usually gives me rides after practice right? Because my father has been working later hours so I have no other sort of transportation

 

TheVodkaAunt: So we already have history there

 

TheVodkaAunt: Now it’s after school and I need a ride and Lance gladly offers

 

OceanMan: this isnt a storytime video sTOP

 

TheVodkaAunt: oh hush

 

TheVodkaAunt: Later I just ride with Lance for convenience. This goes on for a while until he stops altogether and goes “I can’t sorry I’m busy” and he got busy quite a lot

 

TheVodkaAunt: And now I know why

 

TheVodkaAunt: The betrayal of it all!

 

PardonMyFrench: you cant blame him Allura, he was just driving his boyfriend home

 

OceanMan: ANDSODP

 

keef: this is homophobic

 

SamuraiJack: Can you guys not provoke Keith

 

SamuraiJack: He’s screaming into his pillow to hide his undying love for his significant lover

 

OceanMan: considering thats apparently me i sure damn hope so

 

hunky-dory: Klance being recognized by Shiro AND Lance is everything

 

TheVodkaAunt: I ship everyone with happiness.. Am I the only one?

 

hunky-dory: I second that 

 

fluttershay: Aww! I think that’s sweet Lance!

 

fluttershay: You don’t need to be ashamed, all in all, its a very nice thing to do

 

fluttershay: For riding him home I mean, not the relationship bit

 

OceanMan: ur making me cry?? everyone take tips from Shay cause shes doing something RIGHT

 

OceanMan: Allura youve been officially dethroned you fake queen 

 

ThatVodkaAunt: Understandable.

 

fluttershay: Lance please.. you're making me blush!!

 

PardonMyFrench: B^I

 

PardonMyFrench: as much as I love all these icky good feeling emotions, blah blah

 

PardonMyFrench: can we go back to me now because I really need this to be figured out so Shiro doesnt bang my mother in the airport's parking lot!!

 

hunky-dory: Uh..Pidge?

 

SamuraiJack: Well I sure hope I don't either

 

OceanMan: MY EYES

 

PardonMyFrench: frICK, GO BACL, THATS NOT WHT I MEANT

 

ThatVodkaAunt: How scandalous!

 

PardonMyFrench: I WAS TALKING TO MY MOM WHILE TEXTING AND I MIXED THE TERMS UP

 

OceanMan: i caNT BREATH

 

OceanMan: you could say

 

PardonMyFrench: dont you dare finish that

 

OceanMan: they merged

 

OceanMan: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

keef: Oh.my.GOD

 

hunky-dory: You do realize you made an incest joke right???

 

OceanMan: a small price to pay to make fun of Pidge's inability to differentiate words

 

SamuraiJack: This is a MESS

Chapter Text

OceanMan: whos awake

 

OceanMan: hellooooooo???

 

OceanMan: it says read so im guessing its either Keith or Pidge

 

 

OceanMan: guuuyysss

 

OceanMan: i need some comfort in my troubling times of need

 

 

OceanMan: :(

 

keef: Go

 

keef: To

 

keef: Sleep

 

OceanMan: hah! haha

 

OceanMan: thats too bad!

 

OceanMan: u made the mistake of replying

 

OceanMan: now face my whining ass

 

keef: Face the fist of my hand

 

OceanMan: trying to fist me now? ;)

 

OceanMan: what would ur dear brother think?

 

keef: UGH

 

keef: Lance, really, go to sleep

 

keef: God knows you need it

 

OceanMan: >:( 

 

OceanMan: im going to look over that little comment of urs this one time because im too tired to deal with ur negativity

 

keef: It's called being realistic but okay

 

OceanMan: whatever

 

OceanMan: ALSO

 

keef: What now

 

OceanMan: u know damn well God made me knowing i was his best creation

 

keef: Oh really

 

OceanMan: yes! 

 

keef: Proof?

 

OceanMan: i mean look at me

 

OceanMan: thats all the evidence you need tbh

 

 

OceanMan: Keith?

 

 

SamuraiJack: I hate you both equally

 

OceanMan: Daddy!! :D

 

OceanMan: i like how you added the equally bit

 

OceanMan: but hey arent u suppose dto be asleep? i thought for a healthy soul and mind u have to get a total of 8 hours of sleep everyday

 

SamuraiJack: I have never said that but that's actually great advice

 

SamuraiJack: But back to my problems

 

SamuraiJack: I can hear Keith's laughter from my room

 

SamuraiJack: No

 

SamuraiJack: Stop texting because I'm not done, Lance

 

SamuraiJack: Some of us here don't want to hear all these dings at this hour when you two can literally just text each other

 

SamuraiJack: Like normal people

 

SamuraiJack: I also really don't want to think about Keith fisting you

 

OceanMan: we've been doing that

 

SamuraiJack: I'm sorry whAt?

 

OceanMan: WAIT WAIT

 

OceanMan: nO

 

SamuraiJack: I want to be stern but I can't help but laugh at this

 

SamuraiJack: lol

 

keef: WE'VE BEEN DOING NO SUCH THING

 

OceanMan: Shiro u write so dang fast!

 

OceanMan: i meant texting each other

 

OceanMan: geez

 

OceanMan: texting.

 

OceanMan: nothing. else.

 

keef: The only person I would want to fist is MCR anyways

 

OceanMan: 1st) please think before you send 

 

OceanMan: 2nd) we all know ur a gazebo emo, u don't even listen to MCR

 

keef: It would be so nice to just silence you 

 

OceanMan: then do it u weenie 

 

keef: WEENIE 

 

SamuraiJack: Great, now our parents are awake

 

SamuraiJack: Keith keeps making those weird hippo mating calls he loves to hear so much 

 

keef: am nOT

 

OceanMan: aww

 

OceanMan: sorry Daddy :(

 

SamuraiJack: I have a boyfriend

 

OceanMan: ://

 

OceanMan: disappointing

 

keef: I'm laughing 

 

keef: Not my fault Lance is hilarious

 

OceanMan: meet me in the pit u ego mullet wearing cowboy

 

OceanMan: emo*** 

 

OceanMan: but u know what? im taking that as a compliment

 

OceanMan: so thank you <3

 

SamuraiJack: Positivity is key after all

 

OceanMan: yeah

 

OceanMan: its

 

OceanMan: keyth

 

SamuraiJack: Haha, nice one!

 

keef: Betrayed by my own brother?? Who are you??

 

keef: Where is my love and support

 

keef: I haven't seen diddly squat of it recently

 

OceanMan: HMM

 

OceanMan: suspicious.. dont u think?

 

keef: now that you say that..

 

SamuraiJack: Um

 

SamuraiJack: I made you noodles?? Just yesterday too 

 

keef: CUP noodles

 

keef: That shit was still stale 

 

SamuraiJack: You ate it didn't you?! 

 

keef: irrelevant 

 

OceanMan: hes trying to distract you from the truth! 

 

OceanMan: u know what this means

 

keef: Hold on

 

keef: You're not saying...

 

OceanMan: oh, IM SAYIN

 

SamuraiJack: What is going on

 

keef: KURON

 

OceanMan: KURON!

 

SamuraiJack: I-

 

SamuraiJack: Seriously?

 

SamuraiJack: You get a different haircut from normal in the 11th grade and you're automatically classified as a clone

 

keef: In my defense, I was a very imaginative kid

 

keef: Lance and Hunk didn't make it any better either

 

OceanMan: since Hunks not here to defend himself im pining all the blame on him

 

OceanMan: it was all Hunks fault

 

OceanMan: hes the one who got me thinking

 

OceanMan: i just thought you looked frickin ugly

 

SamuraiJack: I really appreciate your honesty Lance

 

SamuraiJack: And because I appreciate it oh so much

 

OceanMan: oh no.

 

SamuraiJack: That's why I'm gonna do this

 

OceanMan: think about what ur gonna do Kuron

 

SamuraiJack: Say Kuron one more time, I dare you

 

keef: say it

 

SamuraiJack: Don't

 

keef: Do.It.

 

OceanMan: :3c

 

OceanMan: Kuron

 

 

SamuraiJack sent 1 picture(s)

 

 

OceanMan: dELET THAT

 

OceanMan: WHERE DIR YOU GET TAHAT

 

keef: I have never cringed so hard in my life

 

keef: And I'M in there

 

OceanMan: DID YOU GO ONTO MY FRICKEN MYSPACE??

 

SamuraiJack: I went and visited all your MySpace's actually :)) found some interesting stuff

 

SamuraiJack: I found this one especially cute

 

OceanMan: God please make him stop

 

 

SamuraiJack sent 1 picture(s)

 

 

OceanMan: KEITH MAKE HIM STOP

 

keef: The hell am I supposed to do?

 

OceanMan: go beat him up you quiznacking coward!!

 

SamuraiJack sent 6 picture(s)

 

OceanMan: aaaAAHHHHH

 

keef: I never want to see Lance with bottom eyeliner ever again

 

OceanMan: I YIELF

 

 

SamuraiJack sent 2 picture(s)

 

 

OceanMan: I said I YEILD

 

OceanMan: r u this quiznacking petty?? what do you want from mE

 

SamuraiJack: I want you to take back what you said

 

OceanMan: what did i say??

 

SamuraiJack: "i just thought you looked frickin ugly"

 

keef: Are you serious

 

OceanMan: i take back what i said- u looked very pretty and radiant

 

SamuraiJack: That's so nice of you Lance

 

OceanMan: Kuron

 

SamuraiJack sent 39 picture(s)