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The Goddamn Miracle of Life, Bitches!

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"Isn't there any cake left?" Reid wondered as he rummaged through the refrigerator at the Snyder farm.

"Looks like you are too late," Luke said with a smile. "Faith has become quite your rival when it comes to eating lots and lots of stuff lately"

"And the difference between her and me is that is that it settles all around her waist" Reid petted his own small one.

"Just don't tell her that to her face"

"Why not? It's true"

"She's still only a teenager. Her soul is fragile"

"What do you know about the fragile souls of teen girls?" Reid looked into the cookie jar that was equally as empty as the fridge. "… oh wait, you've been to your dentist last week. That explains the sudden major in pop-psychology." Reid finally found an overlooked, dry cookie and made a face, while stuffing it down. "Why didn't you just take a book to read in the waiting room?"

"It's just not nice to tell a woman that she's put on weight"

"You think your sister got a new boyfriend? A chubby chaser perhaps?"

"Reid!"

"What?"

Before Luke could complain about Reid's lack of people skills for the fifth time that day, a scream came from the upstairs area of the house

Faith's scream

Luke was already halfway up the stairs, just when she came flinging herself down at him.

"Help!" she wailed

Reid took one look at her, then snorted. "Miss Snyder, at your age you should be able to use a toilet properly. You know you are supposed to take off your pant's first"

Faith looked down at her wet pants, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't need to use the bathroom. There just was this painful stab in my gut and then …" Before she could finish she doubled over in pain.

"Reid? What is wrong with her?" Luke was now as panic stricken as his sister, as he tied to help her down the rest of the stairs.

Reid looked Faith over once more, and this time his gaze lingered on her belly, the swelling of it badly hidden beneath an oversized sweater.

"Are you pregnant, Miss Snyder?"

Faith glared at him. "Of course not!"

Moments later she was moaning in pain again, letting Luke carry all her weight

Reid raised an eyebrow at her. "If you are not pregnant, then why does it look like you've just gone into labour?"

"She's going to have a baby?" Luke's voice had risen an octave or two

"I'm… not… `pregnant!" Faith pressed out.

"It's time to stop laying to yourself, Miss Snyder," Reid ordered her. "You're having a baby, and you are having it now!"

The young woman was crying again at the sharp words.

Luke reached out to pet her hair. "It's okay, sweetie, don't get upset. We can handle the details of this later, but in the next few hours you just need to channel your strength…"

"It hurts so much!" Faith complained, gripping Luke's hand until her knuckles turned white.

"Do we need to get her to the hospital?" Luke asked, "or is it too early for that yet?"

Reid frowned. "From what I gather it looks like it's too late. Sure you can try to get her there, but your car will be a mess before you arrive. Besides, it's still better she get's the baby here than in a ditch alongside the road"

"But births go on for hours"

"Some are quicker, and it doesn't help that Miss Snyder here has most likely been ignoring the contractions for a while now"

"It was just a queasy feeling so far!" Faith said angry through her tears

"Stop leaking from your eyes, that won't get anything done. And get out of our pants already"

Faith glared at him. "I'm not going to get naked in front of you"

Reid rolled his eyes. "First I'm a doctor, I've seen hundreds of people naked before, second, you're not my type, so don't fear, I will not get off on the memory of your girl parts, and third, don't be stupid! "

Luke kept stroking his sisters hair. "C'mon, Faith, he's a doctor. He knows what's the best for you now!"

Reid snapped his fingers into their faces. "Oi, Snyders! Remember, brain doctor not midwife!"

Luke looked at his lover. "But you can help her, can't you?"

"Why should I?"

"Because she's having a baby!"

"Millions of babies get born everyday since thousands of years. Midwives and doctors are a fairly recent addition to the progress. She can give birth perfectly fine all by herself."

"But before doctors helped, those women often died!" Faith was getting hysteric again, no matter how hard Luke tried to calm her. "You have to help me, you are a doctor, you can not let people die in front of you and not at least try to safe them." Faith got busy opening the fly of her pants. " I even take these off"

"Oh, suddenly you want my help?" Reid groaned, then his expression became all business like. "Well then!" he said, taking charge. "At least we have enough light and space here in the kitchen. Luke, get your sister a pillow or something, and get water boiling"

"So, it is really true, you need lots and lots o hot water during a birth?"

"No, but I always wanted to say that, and we can make coffee with it later, if we don't need it for the birth after all."

***

Less than an hour later Luke was helping Faith to lay down in the living room, putting her cleaned daughter in her arms.

"Did you just count her fingers?" Reid asked from where he was leaning against the doorframe, still picking blood from beneath his fingernails.

"Yes, she's got ten of them, can you believe it?"

"Congratulations, Mr. Snyder, you mastered to count to ten. You know, contrary to popular believe, almost all babies get born with ten fingers and toes"

Luke ignored the biting tone as he was too busy cooing at the baby, but then he looked worriedly at his sister.

"How did this happen, Faith?" he asked

Reid snorted before Faith had the chance to answer. "I know you're gay, and I like you that way, but even you must have heard of the birds and the bees by now"

Luke only glared at Reid.

"Well… " Faith started, "Parker and me … but only that one time…"

"Once is all it takes," Reid interjected. "But that is no reason why you couldn't have told someone before today"

"I didn't realize that I was pregnant…" Faith used what little energy she had left to protest

"Why do I always feel like someone is trying to get the better of me when I hear a teenage mother say something like that?" Reid asked. "How can you not notice? All the kicking in your belly…"

"Indigestion?" Faith half asked, half stated

"… lack of menstruation?" Reid continued without paying Faiths lousy explanation any attention.

"I ... never was …you know … regular." Faith blushed

"What about taking a test? Even you should be able to pee on a stick"

"I thought it would go away by itself"

"And look how that worked. The pregnancy did go away by itself, like it usually does after nine months"

Faith was about to cry again.

"Don't worry, sweetie," Luke calmed her. "Just don't listen to him. Reid is all bark and no bite!" Luke couldn't help but stroke over the babies head again. "At least the tradition continues"

"The tradition of illegitimate babies?" Reid asked

"No," Luke grinned. "The tradition of emergency births here at the farm. It happens in every generation"

"And let me guess, your sister here was the last one"

"No, it was me actually!"

"Of course, excuse me for my stupidity in thinking anything else for even a moment!" Reid went and grabbed his jacket. "Well, I'm going home now, and you are coming with me, Mr. Snyder!"

"But Reid, we can't leave Faith and the baby alone now."

"Your parents will be here in less than twenty minutes. I'm sure your sister will manage not to kill her child by accident until then. It's now her responsibility to take care of the little bundle of joy" Reid made a face. "And so is telling your parents why they suddenly have a grand-child"

Reid grabbed Luke's hand and dragged him out to the car.

"Gee, Reid, what is your problem, we just witnessed the miracle of life, and yet, your are even more grumpy then usual"

"The problem is that I had my hands up to my elbows in your sister, Mr. Snyder"

"Aww, you're afraid of the cooties!"

"No, Mr. Snyder, but I may go into shock from the experience any moment now."

Luke snickered. "Poor Dr. Oliver"

"You will be just as affected, Mr. Snyder. If I don't get fucked soon, we may never do it again, and while I'm older than some people present, I still don't plan to suffer from erectile dysfunction for a couple more decades."