Nasir moved the tip of his fingers over the back of his companion. "Agron," he whispers in his lover's ear, and when he moved his face to meet Castus's gaze, he realized the great mistake he had made. He threw himself back when he saw the anger on his boyfriend's face. "I am sorry I didn't mean to call you by his name."
"You still love him?"
Nasir fell silent, but he shifted his feet off the bed and then got up and walked toward the bottle of brandy Castus had brought then poured himself a drink. Nasir closed his eyes for a moment, as his sights had misted over and he was trying to control the tears, but in the end, he couldn't fight against it. Five years had passed since the last time he saw Agron, and Nasir was still totally in love with the man. Agron was his high school sweetheart, the two met in eleventh grade, when they were seventeen, and started a romance together.
They were going out for four years until one day, Nasir had to pack his bags and leave him. The day before he left after making love with his lover, Agron confessed that what he felt for him was pure love, and Nasir admitted that he also loved him. Nasir had gotten into trouble with the law, and didn't want to entangle Agron with his problem that’s why he left without saying goodbye to him, tearing apart his man's heart. Agron was in the police academy, and Nasir didn't want to damage his reputation with his dilemmas, so out of love he took the drastic decision to leave him.
The thing is that Nasir was always aware of everything that his high school sweetheart had done during all these years. Nasir knows that Agron is a sheriff in Deaf Smith County and that he earned that position for his good work in the police. Nasir also knows that Agron has no date anyone and that his ex-lover became a bitter man with few friends. Nasir knows that he is responsible that the man who was once sweet is now an antagonistic person. Nasir knew the intense love that Agron felt for him and that surely he hated him when he found out that he left him without giving him an explanation.
Agron was his first love and lover, and so he was for Agron, that is why their love was so intense. Nasir learned to be a man next to Agron, he taught him everything he now knows, and the two were inseparable. They went everywhere together, and the day Nasir had to leave him, his heart also broke, so much that despite the time that has passed Nasir has not been able to love anyone else. Castus has been the only person with whom he has spent more time, but he feels nothing but a physical attraction for him. His heart belonged to Agron Smith, and it will always be his, no one can ever occupy the place that handsome and tall man has in his heart.
In the last few days, Nasir has been thinking a lot about Agron, and he had an immense desire to see his ex-lover to apologize and beg him to retake back that beautiful love that they once shared. The thing is that Nasir is afraid to face his past since he knows that Agron surely now hates him because of what he had done to him. Nasir is determined to come back to Texas since his father is sick and because he couldn't keep living pretending that he is happy when in fact every day is harder to live without the man he loves. Life without Agron is annoying and unbearable.
"Nasir answers me."
"What do you want me to say?" Nasir felt embarrassed with Castus, it is not the first time that happens, and it will not be the last. Every time he makes love to someone, he imagines Agron, because it is his touch that his body yearns to have.
"The truth is, you never wanted to tell me about this Agron, and this is not the first time you confuse me with him."
Nasir brought the glass to his mouth and remained pensive for a brief moment. Nasir had not wanted to tell Castus anything about Agron because talking about him is painful. "Agron was my high school sweetheart, he was my first love and lover," Nasir explained and saw Castus giving him a stern look. Nasir shrugged. "I still love him, and I think I'll never forget him, Agron is that kind of man who gets into your skin forever," Nasir said in a whisper.
"Then why are you with me and not with him?"
To Nasir's surprise, Castus's voice sound calmed and not angry. Nasir then thought that perhaps opening with Castus was going to make him feel better. "Because I left Agron without even saying goodbye to him after he told me that he loved me," Nasir said using a slightly shaky voice. Still hurt too much speaks about Agron, because he knows how he made him suffer and therefore that caused his heart to stir in his breast.
"Why you did such a thing, you're not a man who likes to hurt people."
Nasir shrugged again and sighed as he thinks that his friend was right. "I did it for love, I was in bad shape, and Agron was doing well at the police academy, I didn't want to hurt his career with my problems, and I preferred to walk away before I hurt him." Nasir paused for a moment to try to blink the tears but couldn't do it. Nasir could no longer carry all that pain in silence. He wanted to feel Agron's fingers tangled in his long hair and heard him say that he loves him more than anything, just like he did that day. "I need to go back to Texas; I need to see Agron and beg his pardon. Every time I remember what I did to him, my chest hurts." Nasir sighed and saw his tears fall into the glass. "I can't go on without him anymore, and I feel he still loves me." Nasir set the glass down and walked to the bed, and after sitting down, he grabbed Castus's hand. "I'm sorry Castus, I've never wanted to use you, I thought I could forget Agron with you because you're a good man. Agron was too special for me, he made me immensely happy, and I hurt him, I need-"
"You don't have to say anything else, I got it now."
"Castus I never wanted to hurt you." Nasir squeezed his friend's hand. Castus had helped him a lot during the year they had been dating, and he had tried hard to love him, but his heart simply can't love anyone but Agron.
"I always knew that you were not mine. I've felt it every time you touch me or look at me. I've heard you crying at night while you pronounce the name of that man. I can't force you to love me. I'm going to be honest with you if, you would have done that to me I don't know if I could have forgiven you. What are you going to do? "
"I-" The sound of his cell phone interrupted his words. "Hello," Nasir said and listened to his brother's anguished voice. "Asil, slow down a bit because I can't understand you," Nasir spoke.
"Nasir, our father is in the hospital. Some people tried to rob the store and beat him, he's stable now, but I think you need to get back."
Nasir felt very worried. Castus released his hand, and he stood up. He let out a shaken breath. "Are you sure Dad is okay?"
"Yes, but dad will have to stay in the hospital for several days. Our mother needs us, and I know she wants to see you. I know you've been thinking about coming back, and I believe this is the time to do it."
"Do you know who did it?" Nasir asked with fear that perhaps the people to whom he owes money had hurt his dad to make him return since lately, they have been calling him.
"No, but the sheriff is in charge of the case, you know that Agron appreciates our family, and he will not rest until he finds the person responsible." There was a silence on the line for a moment. "I know there's a story between you and Agron, and that's why you haven't come back, but it's time to face your past. Agron still loves you."
Nasir didn't know what to say. His brother is very wrong, if he had not returned is because he knows that he still has debts to people who could do a lot of damage to his family and maybe Agron. His brother's last words caught him by surprise. "Why do you think that Agron still loves me, Asil? I broke his heart, or the only thing the man can feel for me is hatred."
"I don't think so; a while back after I said your name Agron quickly looked away but not without my seeing his eyes misted over with tears first. Every time someone mentions you, I can see his expression change. I'm not going to lie to you Agron is still furious with you, but he still loves you in the same way. You can get him back if you propose to do it, brother and I can help you too. I think you and Agron are made for each other."
Nasir was astonished for a moment and remained speechless until he could speak. "I'll take the first flight I can get to Texas tomorrow. I'm going to ask you to please don't tell anyone I'm coming back, not even Agron."
"You got it. Send me the flight information when you have it so I can pick you up. Agron is going to have a big surprise when he sees you. "
"I'll do it, and I don't think he'll be happy to see me. I'll talk to you tomorrow." After closing his cell phone, Nasir looked at Castus. "I have to go back to my hometown; I'll leave you two months’ rent paid. You will need to find a new roommate again."
"Maybe I can visit you at Christmas that is coming soon."
"I'd love for you to do that. I know my twin would love to meet you."
"That sounds perfect; now tell me about your father, what happened to him?"
Next morning Nasir was running down the airport corridors to the terminal after Castus had left him. He was a little late, and he was afraid of losing his flight since it was a miracle that he had found a seat on the first flight that was leaving to Texas. Luckily Nasir arrived just in time when the passengers were already boarding the plane. Nasir was assigned the seat next to the window, and after putting his suitcase in the trunk above, he sits down. Nasir could barely sleep last night thinking about Agron and his father. This morning when he spoke with his brother, he told him that his father had a better night, but Nasir wanted to see that he is well, for himself.
About Agron, the memories of all the time they spent together in Texas kept coming to his mind. Nasir doesn't know what he is going to tell Agron when he sees him or if his ex-lover wants to hear anything he has to say. The last photo that his brother sent him about Agron, the man looked more handsome than ever, but his eyes were blank, without emotion. That is not the man that Nasir fell in love with, Agron used to be a very kind and funny boy, now, there is nothing left of his high school sweetheart. Nasir closes his eyes and lets his memory flow.
Nasir didn't see the rain coming; the day was beautiful when he left his house to meet Agron in the forest. He was fooling around with his boyfriend when it started raining hard, so Agron grabbed his right hand, and the two started running towards Agron's house, but they only had time to get into the barn to take refuge from the rain, and the thunders. Nasir crossed his arms on his chest and rested his hands on his elbows; his body was shaking from the cold. Nasir saw Agron closing the stable door then walking toward him. His boyfriend's clothes were also soaking wet, but Agron has always been stronger than him; therefore Nasir isn't surprised that Agron isn't shaking as he is doing it.
Agron gave Nasir a tender glance, he knows his boyfriend was sick last week with an awful cold, and he doesn't want his boyfriend to get ill again. "Nasir takes off your clothes," Agron said, and he began to get rid of his clothes too.
"Why you want me to do that?" Nasir asked with confusion, and despite the cold, he felt his cheeks blush.
"Babe, we're going to have to use our bodies to get warm so do as I say." Agron watched his boyfriend hesitate for a moment, and he understood why. They have fooled around and making out, but neither has gone beyond that. Agron couldn't deny that he wishes to be with his boyfriend, but he has not dared to propose it.
Nasir began to undress still doubtful that this was a good idea. Agron has never seen him naked, but he is sure his boyfriend has felt his erection under his body when the two have been making out. Nasir is a shy boy, and Agron is the only one who makes him feel different, Nasir can say that Agron makes him feel brave. The first time he met Agron, he was being bullied by a group of boys, and Agron stepped up and defended him, they had an immediate chemistry, and they started being friends, but soon that friendship became something more serious. Nasir enjoys and loves being with one of the most popular boys in the school, and he likes to know that all Agron attention is his.
"Take off your trousers too," Agron spoke with firmly in his tone of voice.
Nasir panicked. "But, Agron...I don't think that is a good idea."
"Nasir, you were very sick last week, I don't want you to have a relapse. Come on, you have nothing to be ashamed of, we are both men, and we are boyfriends," Agron said and put one of his lovely smiles on so that Nasir could relax.
"But, my body is not as beautiful as yours is."
Agron chuckled. "Nonsense, you are the most beautiful boy in school."
Those words made him feel good about himself, so he finishes undressing then they both entered one of the stalls that was empty and they lay on top of the Hay. His boyfriend pulled him to his body and hugged him tightly. Gradually the cold faded away, and Nasir's body began to warm more than he had anticipated since there is a part of his body that has become more excited than he had wanted it to be. Nasir felt embarrassed and tried to move away, but his boyfriend pressed his body closer to his. Agron pressed his lips to his cheek and began slowly moving them all over his face.
Nasir was only seventeen years old Agron is too, and this is something he had never done with another boy, in fact, Agron is the first boyfriend he has ever had. "I am sorry; I couldn't stop my body from reacting to your closeness. This is shameful." To Nasir surprise, his lover just took his right hand and carried it to his hard piercing erection. It is the first time Nasir touches a hard cock that is not his own, and it felt great when he touched Agron's dick which was big and long.
Agron began to feel urgency and desire that he has never felt for another boy. "You see, you also caused that reaction in my body. Can I touch you?" Agron asked as he doesn't want to do anything that Nasir don't want to do.
Nasir let out an intense moan before he could respond. "You can, and I want you to do it," he spoke with urgency in his voice, and when he felt Agron's fingers tighten around his cock, his moans became more intense. His boyfriend sought his warms lips, and they began to kiss each other with a wild passion.
Agron had been around boys, and he had made out with much of them, but he had never felt the desire to sleep with any of them. However, Nasir had swept him off his feet. "I've wanted to touch you this way for a long time, but I didn't dare to ask you. I want you so badly, Nasir, you drive me crazy."
"I... me too, but I'm afraid because I've never made love, also no one has ever touched me this way or the other way around," Nasir said, and watched his boyfriend push his lips away to give him an intense look.
"I have not done it with anyone either; this will be our first time. Do you want us to give ourselves pleasure?"
"That is so hard to believe since you're too popular. I'm sure you've already done things with other guys."
"That doesn't mean I've already had sex with other guys. I'm a bit picky when it comes to dating someone, but you're perfect for me. You want to be with me yes, or no? I'm willing to wait if you're not ready yet, but I wouldn't deny that I'm dying to know how it feels, and I want you to be the first man in my life."
Nasir's boyfriend began to nibble at his lips, causing him to lose control of his thoughts. "Yes, please I want you to be my first too," he whispered with his hoarse voice loaded with desire. His boyfriend started to move his hand over his cock stroking it faster, and Nasir also did the same with his. By that time his body was burning with desire.
Their kisses became even more intense, and their mouth moves now with even more demand. Nasir's hand began to moisten with the warm and slippery liquid emanating from his boyfriend cock. Out of his mouth came out a muffled moan as Agron's tongue was all complete inside his mouth dancing along with his. Nasir moved his other hand behind his lover's body to rest it on top of his buttock which he began to rub gently. Inside his mouth, Nasir felt the vibration of the sound of the groan Agron let out. The two quickly began to lose control of their bodies, and moaning louder, luckily outside was raining hard, and no one could hear them.
"We have no protection," Nasir said after he remembered that he didn't have a condom.
Agron smiled, he didn't have a condom, but he isn't going to let that stop him now that he had lost all control of his body. "I'm clean love," Agron answered with difficulty since he was breathing heavily.
"Me too," Nasir said, and then let out heavy breathing. "Am I scared?"
"I promise I will not hurt you, you know I never would. I care so much about you."
"I know that, and that is why I am here now with you."
His boyfriend moved on top of him and began to move his lips down towards his neck. Nasir moved his hand to the nape of his man's neck, which he stroked slowly, as he enjoyed the way Agron was running his neckline with his tongue and his lips. His lover moved even lower, and Nasir held his breath while he felt Agron's tip of his tongue over his hard right nipple then let it out to start panting. Nasir had to stop touching his boyfriend when he moved further down. He caught his fingers in Agron's hair and sighed as his boy began to nibble around his navel, then slowly passes his tongue inside it.
"Have you done this before?" Nasir asked because although Agron stated that this is his first time, he was doing it too well to be a beginner.
Agron stopped to look up. "I told you it's my first time, but I've seen movies," Agron spoke with a grin on his face.
"You are wonderfully and adorable Agron."
Agron continued to descend, and Nasir sucked in his breath as his lover cover his cock with his mouth. He had never felt an equal pleasure it was overwhelming. "Ah ..." Nasir groaned and began to gasp faster. He shifted his legs and put them on Agron's shoulders. "That movie taught you a lot; you're doing a good job, Agron ... God, I like what you're doing to me." Agron released his cock, but just to move his tongue around the sides while he played with his balls. "Agron!!!" Nasir yells a few minutes later.
"it is getting too much for you Bae?" Agron asked he had forgotten his own pleasure to please his man.
"Yes, I don't want to finish yet, please come back to me." Despite the pleasure that Nasir is feeling right now, his body was feeling cold again without Agron's arms around it.
"You would do the same to me I want to feel your mouth in that part of my body."
Nasir panicked again. He didn't know how to please his boyfriend that way. Also, he didn't want to do a bad job and disappoint Agron. Nasir knows that many girls and boys are waiting for the first opportunity to steal Agron from him. "I don't know how to do it."
"I will guide you."
"I don't want to do it wrong, and then you leave me."
Agron chuckled. "Oh, Bae, you're adorable, I wouldn't leave you for such nonsense, in fact, I would never leave you no matter what."
Nasir felt confident and began to please his boyfriend, and it was pleasant to hear Agron moan and talk dirty while he sucked his hard and long cock. When the two returned to the previous position, Nasir heard when a thunder fell near the stable, and that caused him to cling tightly to Agron's body. "I'm sorry I'm afraid of thunder."
"You know that with me you have nothing to fear Nasir, I will take care of you."
Nasir's eyes misted over. "I'm lucky you noticed me."
"I'm the lucky one."
When Agron pushed inside him, his lover did it slowly and carefully. A tear rolled down his temple, from the pain he felt, and it felt uncomfortable for a moment, but the pleasure that he began to feel later was enormous. Agron began to move faster, and Nasir started to go at his pace as well. As his boyfriend threw hard and fast into his ass, he moved his legs around his lover's waist, and the two began to move more frantically. "Agron...," Nasir whispered in his lover's ear as he got nearer the end sometime later.
"Nasir, I'm going to come too."
"Touch me, Agron."
The two of them intertwined their fingers of their left hand, and Agron entered his right hand inside their bodies to grab Nasir's cock and help him to reach orgasm together. The two joined in a cry of relief as their bodies writhed with pleasure, and then the two stood still, hugging each other. Agron began to kiss Nasir wit calm now, and Nasir felt so happy that he started to cry like a fool. When his gaze met Agron's eyes, he immediately saw the expression of concern on his face.
"Did I hurt you?"
"No, it's not that. You're one of the most popular boys in school, and you could have chosen a person as popular as you are, however you choose me, and now you have made me feel things that I never thought I could feel." Nasir expressed with emotion, once he imagined that someday he would meet a man who would make him feel something, but Nasir never dream he could get a person as hot as Agron is. Best of all, Agron is not only erotic but very affectionate.
Agron smiled and spread the fingers of his right hand through Nasir's hair. "You're better than all those guys, Nasir; I would never change you for any of them. What just happened is new for both of us, and I can say that you also took me to along a path of pleasure unknown to me."
"Are you still interested in me?" Nasir spoke with fear in his tone of voice, and he saw the bewilderment in Agron's look. "I am sorry, I was afraid that if this happened, it would drive away interest from you to me."
"Now I feel more attracted to you, and this will not be the last time we are together, I promise you. Now, can you give me one of those kisses that make me see the stars?"
Nasir chuckled and hugged his boyfriend tightly. "With pleasure," he spoke with his voice full of emotion. The two of them stayed in the stable until it stopped raining a while later, and luckily their clothes weren't too wet anymore. Agron accompanied him until they got close to his house. His boyfriend stood in front of him then grabbed their hands and interlaced their fingers.
"I want to see you tonight. Can you come to my house?" Agron asked Nasir. After what happened between them the only thing that Agron wants is to spend more time with Nasir.
"What will we do?"
"Well, my parents are going out to a party with their friends, so Duro and I will be left alone. We can pretend that we are going to do homework in my bedroom and then we can repeat what just happened between us."
Nasir put a smirk on his face. "And Duro what are we going to do with him?"
"His boyfriend Adler is going to be in the house, so he's going to be busy with him."
"It sounds great Agron," Nasir stood on his toes to kiss his tall and handsome boyfriend. "I will be at your house at seven o'clock. Think of me the rest of the day until we meet again as I am going to do too."
"You can count on that.”
Nasir returned to present with his eyes misted with tears and he tried to think of something else, but it was almost impossible since Agron is always in his mind. Four hours passed when his flight landed in Texas. Nasir felt tired when he came out of the plane. He took the train that led him to the exit corridor, and when he saw his brother, he couldn't avoid running towards him and hugging him tightly. Five years had passed since the last time he saw his family, so he couldn't help but feel excited to see his brother again.
"Asil brother you're looking good," he said. He was happy to see his face in another body again.
"You too Nasir. It's been too many years; it's a joy to see you again. How long are you going to stay?"
Nasir already knew the answer to that question. "I'm not leaving; I'm going to stay here." He had made that decision with Castus last night. He is tired of being away from his family and the man he loves.
"Agron is going to-"
"Agron hates me." They both started walking to the belt to go and pick up his suitcases.
"That's what Agron says every time someone asks about you, but I know it's not like that. Everyone knows you two were dating since high school, and that love was strong. You left, and I know why you did it, but you never allowed me to say anything to him. You're going to tell Agron the true?"
Nasir stood in front of the leash and shrugged his shoulders. "If he allows it I will."
After picking up the suitcase, they left the airport directly to the hospital. The airport was in the city; therefore, his brother had to drive two hours until they arrived at their town they grow up. When Nasir saw the sign that said welcome to Deaf Smith County, he felt his heart flutter in his chest, and his eyes again blurred with tears. His twin brother seems to have felt his desperation and grabbed his hand, then squeezed it.
Nasir said and stared at his twin brother. "You cut your hair?" Nasir saw his brother look down, and something told him that his new haircut had something to do with Agron. "What happened with Agron and you?"
"Nothing, it's just that when we see each other on the street or Agron used to go visit us, I noticed that he couldn't look at me because we have the same face. I cut my hair to make it easier for him."
"Shit!" Nasir ran his fingers through his hair. "I mess him up."
"But now you're here, and you can make Agron forget what you did to him."
"I don't know."
"You still love him do you?"
"Every day I love him even more. I was a damn fool to leave him that way, and now I don't know if I can repair the damage I did to Agron, Asil."
"Remember what our father used to say, there is nothing impossible in this life. It will not be easy for you to approach Agron and get him to trust you again, but I know that with determination you will be able to do it."
"I hope so, now tell me about our father."
When they arrived at the hospital, the two went to the patients' room. Nasir's heart stopped when he saw his mother who was talking to a tall man in a sheriff's uniform. The man had his right hand resting on his waist at the height of his pistol, and he had a hat on his head. Nasir alongside with his brother approached them, and he took a deep breath before addressing them.
"Mom, Agron ..." was the only thing that could come out of his mouth. His mother put on a smile, but when Agron turned around, his cold gaze sent chills through his body. There was nothing of that loving gaze that Agron used to give him, but he could also see hurt in his eyes. Nasir noticed Agron gulp as the two of them looked at each other intensely, and for a second he saw his eyes misted over with tears just like his are right now.
It was as if the time stop, neither could speak but the silence was saying more than a thousand words. Nasir could see a slight shaking in Agron's hands. His high school sweetheart looked so different, but he still is just as attractive as the last time he saw him. Nasir could see Agron moving his hand to caress his cheek, and he can still feel his warm breath on his neck, but none of that is happening right now. He felt an enormous distance between them and Nasir doesn't know if he is going to be able to break down that barrier that now separates them. He wanted to put his arms around Agron's waist and kiss him, but his cold gaze said that that it's not going to happen for a long time.