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to some piece i have a right (i pay so dearly)

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mr. and mrs. dursley were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. they were the last people you'd expect to find involved in anything strange. petunia evans, however, was no stranger to freakishness, and when a freak wound up on her doorstep, her childhood emotions she had buried along with her last name bubbled up. the freak was going to pay, even if her identity to the outside world was that of a dursley. nobody outside of her four walls would have to know.

petunia had always been different. she knew from the moment her sister had been brought home from the hospital that she was going to be doomed. as the two grew up together, petunia's love for her sister was seen as strange by her schoolmates. she found herself dreaming of green eyes and woke up with a liquid between her legs. a small part of petunia was glad when her sister left for freak school, because it got rid of the complicated feelings, leaving only jealousy in its wake. jealousy that grew when petunia got a wedding invitation, knowing her sister was marrying a freak. she had lost her forever.

but now there was a baby on her doorstep, green eyes looking up at her. petunia knew, implicitly, as a child, she could never touch her sister the way she dreamed of - the way she wanted to. after dudley had been born vernon saw no need to go further than chaste kisses before he went off to work. but now she had a child - no, a freak!- under her control. a child who would never remember anything other than her touch, one who, if she could get vernon and dudley to go along with her plans, would only know kind touches from her. petunia brought the boy - she would never call him harry, she would never see him as anything other than the male version of her sister, the girl she once loved. the freak who abandoned her.

vernon hated abnormality as much as petunia did, and dudley was soon raised to take out all frustrations on his cousin. the boy knew nothing of his past, only that he was a freak. he lived in a cupboard and was not allowed to speak beyond what was necessary to get his chores done. his uncle and dudley enjoyed hitting him at any opportunity, and if he angered or upset dudley, petunia's frying pan would fall down on his head.

the boy learned his name on the first day of primary school. "harry potter?" the teacher called, and dudley kicked him. harry made a noise, and the teacher checked him off. that was his name now, at least to his schoolmates. that night was the night the rules changed. petunia came into his cupboard, and ordered him to take dudley;s hand-me-down trousers off. then she placed her hand under his pants.

"aunt petunia, what're you-"

"boy, remember the rules." no questions, right. "you're in school now, so that means you're old enough to learn a new chore. look at me." harry looked into his aunt's eyes. "i - your mother - her name was lily. we used to do this together. see how i'm rubbing you, you're stiffening." harry nodded. "now i will take my skirt off." she did so. "see the small thing in the back?" harry had no idea what she was talking about, but nodded anyway. petunia pointed at what she was talking about. "that's a lady's prick. your mom and i used to rub each other. it's how family members show love. as my nephew, you are supposed to love me. so do what you're told, boy!" harry began rubbing his aunt, staring in wonder. his mom - like him, now, he supposed - had a name! his aunt, who had only ever been unpleasant before, now loved him! harry thought maybe things on privet drive might change.

but nothing did. in public, his aunt only showed affection to dudley. harry was not allowed to get higher grades than precious diddykins did. harry still got hit, in fact he was hit more often now because dudley had friends. the only change was at night, in his cupboard, his aunt touched him. and he had to touch her. harry didn't like it, even though it felt nicer than fists and bites and frying pans did. it felt too close, like it was wrong. on the playground he learned that he and his aunt were doing was how babies were made. harry prayed to his parents at night, begging them to not make him a father when he was still a kid. harry didn't know enough to believe in any god, but he figured his mother must have hated what petunia did to her too. harry had to believe he wasn't the wrong one, wasn't really the freak he was constantly told he was, because there was no escape from privet drive.

but then, after five years of his aunt's new chore, after a week of no meals because of something he had no idea how had happened, harry was given an escape. there was a man who came to the hut that the dursley's were hiding on. he was there for harry. he was angry on harry's behalf. he gave dudley a bloody pig's tail. if harry had had a say, he would have asked hagrid to turn petunia's prick into a pig's tail, but he wasn't allowed to talk about that.

hagrid was nice. hagrid gave harry food, and didn't touch him or make harry touch him, and more than that, hagrid knew harry's parents. harry had a father, a father named james! harry wasn't a freak, he was a wizard! the excitement was overwhelming. harry fell asleep on the boat.

harry and hagrid went to diagon alley together, where harry got a wand, the first pair of clothes that had ever fit him, books he was actually allowed to read, and a pet. harry chose an owl, but he asked hagrid to take her until school started up. "we're not allowed pets in my house." harry explained, which was only half true. dudley had been allowed pets, even after he threw his tortoise on the roof, but harry only had the spiders in his cupboard. if harry had brought home a bird that made noise and, worst of all to his cleanly aunt, pooped, harry would be homeless before the night was up. hagrid eyed harry curiously, the giant thinking of how harry was sleeping on the stone floor when hagrid appeared, harry's tiny stature, lack of knowledge about the world, and now a family that wouldn't allow him a childhood pet?! hagrid would have to discuss harry's living situation once he got back to hogwarts. hagrid's loyalty to dumbledore was strong, but harry clearly needed to at least be looked over by madame pomfrey.

the remaining month at the dursley's was spent locked in the cupboard for days on end, the only way of telling that time passed being aunt petunia's nightly visits. harry felt more desperate than ever now knowing he had a way out come september. he picked the lock of his cupboard two weeks in, needing food. that earned him a kick in the stomach as he was shoved back into his cupboard by his uncle. "worthless freak, multilating our dudley, stealing our food..." vernon muttered.

but then the month was up, and harry was left alone in the crowded train station.