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Pumpkin Fuckers

Chapter Text

Edge has added Shouji, broccoli, and 17 others to the chat

 

Edge has named the chat “Pumpkin Fuckers”

 

Pepe: when the group chat broke I thought I’d finally see peace

 

Pepe: and then you come back with this?

 

Lava girl: I slept more peacefully in the past few weeks than I have since I started this shitty school

 

Mr. Electric: I’m sure that has nothing to do with the fact that Gengar has taken to sleeping on you instead of me

 

Tape Dispenser: don’t be upset just bc you’re not her favorite anymore

 

Mr. Electric: I don’t know what I did wrong :-(

 

Sharkboy: g kami, it couldn’t be bc you stepped on her tail and scared one of her lives out of her

 

Mr. Electric: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT KIRI

 

Lava girl: don’t bring that up again, he already cried about it

 

Tape Dispenser: twice

 

Thermostat: but why is this chat called pumpkin fuckers

 

Edge™: it's almost halloween

 

Shouji: everyday is Halloween for you, fumikage

 

Edge™: yes but now I won't be the only one wearing all black and singing nightmare before christmas songs

 

Sharkboy: you're right, there will be at least two of us

 

Thermostat: three*

 

Edge™: on halloween we’re going to have a movie night in the common room

 

Tamaki: we have to watch coraline

 

Joan Jett: does the nightmare before christmas count as a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie

 

Pinky: both

 

broccoli: ashido ur a genius

 

Pinky: thanks!

 

zero gravity: as long as we live in the dorms, we should watch it every halloween and christmas!

 

Yaonorozu: that sounds like a really good idea

 

Tamaki: i know i’m the one who suggested it but coraline is terrifying

 

Tamaki: her fashion sense is hideux

 

Tamaki: plus I won’t have a strong boy to hold me

 

Lava girl: you wouldn’t have that even if your boyfriend lived in our dorms

 

Edge™: ouch

 

Mr. Electric: lol he’s still wondering why monoma of all the boys in this school

 

Insomnia: do i have to participate?

 

Tails: yes

 

UcantCme: everyone in this class is whipped for their s/o

 

UcantCme: and in some cases. Their multiple s/os

 

Joan Jett: u r very correct

 

Tape Dispenser: baku is surprisingly the most whipped out of us four

 

Sharkboy: and kami is the least

 

Lava girl: because he’s a fucking CHILD

 

Mr. Electric: we’re all children. Bakubabe

 

Edge™: do you think before you type

 

Mr. Electric: nope :-)

 

Joan Jett: he never thinks

 

Mr. Electric: hey jiro

 

Mr. Electric: shut the FUCK up

 

broccoli: this might sound weird but i missed all of the banter that this chat had

 

Pinky: same

 

Sharkboy: me too

 

Tape Dispenser: same

 

UcantCme: same

 

Insomnia: i didn’t

 

Tails: ur a major buzzkill

 

Insomnia: and yet you’re dating me

 

Tails: is this how bakugou’s boyfriends feel

 

Sharkboy: yes

 

Mr. Electric: yes

 

Tape Dispenser: yes

 

Edge™: do you feel this way, shouji?

 

Shouji: no, i appreciate you and your emo tendencies and weird need to speak in edgar allan poe quotes

 

thermostat: tokoyami: says anything

 

thermostat: tokoyami: quoth the raven

 

Edge™: what a mad banquet of darkness

 

Lava girl: where the fuck do you come up with this shit

 

Edge™: hours of internet searching through goth forums

 

Edge™: my username was bloody gothic rose 666

 

Pepe: i shouldn’t be surprised about that, yet I am

 

Edge™: is it because you’re a prep?

 

Pepe: are you going to stick your middle finger up at me if i am

 

thermostat: mediocre dunces

 

Tape Dispenser: HOLY SHIT

 

Pinky: todoroki knows about that???

 

thermostat: i had to entertain myself since my piece of shit father couldn’t

 

UcantCme: fair enough

 

thermostat: now i have two soft boys to help me with that

 

thermostat: shion needs a lot of attention

 

broccoli: you leave my son alone

 

thermostat: our*

 

broccoli: if you keep talking like that we’ll get divorced

 

thermostat: you said we weren’t married last story

 

Edge™: what story

 

thermostat: nothing

 

Broccoli: speaking of shion I FORGOT HIS BIRTHDAY

 

Tails: you’re right ohmygod

 

Insomnia: are you guys talking about the anime character

 

Edge™: yes

 

broccoli: i’m sure you’re all tired of me ranting about no.6 but just know that i’m upset about it

 

thermostat: i could never get tired of hearing you talk

 

Lava girl: stop being gross in the group chat!!

 

Mr. Electric: yeah, save that for when you have some privacy like baku does

 

Lava girl: shut the fuck up off brand pikachu

 

Mr. Electric: i should probably be offended but your weird nicknames are somewhat endearing

 

Joan Jett: ur only saying that bc u think he’s hot

 

Mr. Electric: you have no proof of that

 

Joan Jett: i have so many screenshots

 

Mr. Electric: okay i take it back

 

Yaonorozu: wlw/mlm solidarity

 

Zero gravity: that’s me and deku

 

Zero gravity: speaking of, i’m coming to see my nephew so stop making out with todoroki

 

thermostat: no

 

broccoli: we weren’t making out

 

thermostat: not for a lack of trying

 

Insomnia: god you’re so annoying

 

thermostat: thanks :-)

Chapter Text

Tape Dispenser: today has been… eventful

 

Pinky: yeah we’re never letting kiri in the kitchen again

 

Sharkboy: I DIDNT KNOW

 

Mr. Electric: babe,,,, even I know better

 

Lava girl: you're lucky fucking half and half was there to put out the fire

 

broccoli: my hero

 

Tamaki: stop talking about things in the group chat unless you plan on explaining them

 

Tape Dispenser: buckle THE FUCK up because this is going to be a long story

 

Mr. Electric: some parts won’t make sense and they’ll never make sense so leave it at that

 

Tape Dispenser: as you all know, we have two cats and a dog running around the dorm area. Although they mostly stay in their rooms, they do get out sometimes

 

Pinky: and all of them are cute and fat so they get into everything, even boxes of cereal

 

Thermostat: I know where this is going but I’m still so intrigued

 

Mr. Electric: so we’ve started keeping things in the oven

 

Tails: oh no

 

Lava girl: i told shitty hair to check the oven for things he put in there before turning it on

 

Tape Dispenser: BUT HE DIDN’T

 

Pinky: so he put meatballs in the oven

 

Tape Dispenser: and when he went to take them out there was a shit ton of cereal on the bottom of the oven

 

Sharkboy: this is bullying

 

Joan Jett: shut up it’s getting interesting

 

Mr. Electric: so he takes the meatballs out but leaves the oven on

 

Mr. Electric: like an IDIOT

 

Sharkboy: :’-(((

 

Pinky: and the cereal on the bottom caught on fire

 

Zero gravity: this is why they shouldn’t let teenagers live together without supervision

 

Yaonorozu: i think it’s just kirishima tbh

 

Pepe: yeah we aren’t letting you near the kitchen anymore

 

Sharkboy: on the bright side, I found a really cool looking spaghetti noodle and I plan on framing it on my wall

 

Tape Dispenser: we’re going to the store later to find the perfect frame

 

Insomnia : you all went from yelling at him to supporting him in .2 seconds

 

Pinky: the important thing is that he’s safe, obviously

 

Thermostat: plus the spaghetti noodle was really cool

 

Tails: you’re all nerds

 

UcantCme: you’re no exception

 

Tails: that’s probably why they put all of us in this class

 

Tamaki: i doubt they knew we’d get along this well

 

Tamaki: plus my boyfriend~ is in class b so they messed up somewhere

 

Lava girl: let him stay there

 

Mr. Electric: be nice baku

 

Tape Dispenser: baka

 

Lava girl: what the fuck did you just say

 

Thermostat: this is a written conversation

 

Insomnia: just reread it you lazy fuck

 

Pepe: do you only get along to make fun of bakugou

 

Insomnia: and defend midoriya’s honor

 

Thermostat: but not izuku himself bc he can do that

 

broccoli: usually

 

Insomnia: and now we go back to arguing for no reason

 

Tails: shinsou likes to pretend he doesn’t like todoroki but he does

 

broccoli: same for shouto

 

UcantCme: anyone can see that

 

Joan Jett: they remind me of myself with denki

 

Mr. Electric: i was about to say that!

 

Insomnia: but if they consider themselves siblings…

 

Thermostat: no

 

broccoli: face it, shouto

 

Pinky: you two are so dramatic and extra

 

Tamaki: as extra as I am?

 

Edge™: no one is THAT extra

 

Shouji: you are, just not in the same way

 

Edge™: stup flaming

 

Edge™ : stupid preps

 

UcantCme: OHMYGOD SDJVNSKLDNGDFKL

Chapter Text

Tails: *taps mic*

 

Tails: ahem. despite yuri on ice’s progressive storyline and truly amazing animation for an anime that’s turned fluid, 3D movement into 2D movement that looked realistic enough, the quality of the animation was inferior compared to the quality of mob psycho 100. although the art style of mob psycho 100 is less appealing to some, the “traditional” animation technique combined with the “paint on glass” technique puts the overall quality above yuri on ice’s

 

Tails: with that said and considering the results of the crunchyroll anime awards of 2017, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that mob psycho 100 was robbed of their winning

 

Tails: thanks for coming to my ted talk

 

Broccoli: MEMEMEME

 

Yaonorozu: brb gonna print this out and frame it on my wall

 

Tamaki: and i feel god in this chilli’s tonight

 

Insomnia: ojiro you’re the biggest nerd but I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else

 

Tails: you couldn’t get anyone else

 

Insomnia: actually, aoyama and kaminari were both interested

 

Tamaki: still am honestly

 

Mr. Electric: me too

 

Tape Dispenser: lmao kami’s always interested in someone

 

Insomnia: sorry but i’d die w/o ojiro

 

Insomnia: he’s the only 1 (one) for me

 

Thermostat: stop being gross in the gc

 

Pepe: todoroki you and midoriya are literally the worst when it comes to gross pda in the gc

 

Thermostat: yeah but it’s different

 

Joan Jett: do u even know what gc stands for

 

Mr. Electric: gang

 

Pinky: crew

 

Sharkboy: babe,,,,,

 

UcantCme: OMG DFJBKLJDFBKL

 

Edge : you can’t be serious

 

Edge ™: what a mad banquet of darkness

 

Zero gravity: y’all are the reason koda and sato stay out of the group chat

 

broccoli: and iida

 

Joan Jett: koda and i are bffs

 

Mr. Electric: me and mina were bffs before our exam so jokes on you

 

Yaonorozu: mina and i*

 

Mr. Electric: I mean I guess?

 

Mr. Electric: but you were partnered with todoroki, not mina?

 

Lava girl: she was correcting your grammar, idiot

 

Sharkboy: this is why baku tutors us

 

Lava girl: obviously it’s for nothing if the idiot doesn’t retain anything

 

Mr. Electric: yeah tbh most of the time i just watch u and listen to you talk but i don’t pay attention

 

Mr. Electric: if that mkaes any sense

 

Joan Jett: DENKI !!!!!

 

Joan Jett: THIS IS WHY YOU ALWAYS FAIL !!!!!!!!!!

 

Mr. Electric: i mean worth it?

 

Lava girl: fuck no

 

Lava girl: i don’t want to be the reason you fail

 

Yaonorozu: perhaps i should tutor him instead

 

Joan Jett: but yaomomo ur my tutor :-(

 

Joan Jett: let that idiot fail

 

Mr. Electric: is this how you treat your brother from another mother

 

Mr. Electric: ur sib from another crib

 

Mr. Electric: pal from another gal

 

Mr. Electric: blood from another stud

 

Joan Jett: stop him

 

Thermostat: the closeness unique to familiality from two households, both alike in dignity,

 

broccoli: shouto pls

 

Thermostat: i wanted to try it

 

Yaonorozu: that was actually a good one

 

Thermostat: thank you

 

UcantCme: thanks to my queen @halsey i know the words to that

 

Joan Jett: rt

 

Mr. Electric: WAIT I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING

 

Mr. Electric: I think it’s time we had this discussion

 

Mr. Electric has changed the group name to The Great Candy Corn Debate 2k17

 

Mr. Electric: okay so basically. If you like candy corn say “aye”

 

Mr. Electric: and if you don’t like it, say “I’m wrong”

 

Edge : aye

 

Tape Dispenser: I’m wrong?

 

Joan Jett: denki you idiot this isn’t how it works

 

Mr. Electric: kyoka pls!!!

 

Joan Jett: fine

 

Joan Jett: aye

 

broccoli: aye

 

Iida: I’m wrong

 

Zero gravity: aye

 

UcantCme: no

 

Pinky: aye

 

thermostat: i’ve never had it

 

Yaonorozu: me either

 

Tails: nope

 

Insomnia: i don’t like it

 

Pepe: aye

 

Mr. Electric: YOU LOSERS AREN’T FOLLOWING THE RULES

 

Lava girl: aye

 

Shoji: I’m wrong

 

Tamaki: moi

 

UcantCme: i think that’s everyone besides the two who avoid the group chat

 

Mr. Electric: kyoka and i asked them, sato loves it and koda is wrong

 

broccoli: not including shoto and yaomomo, that makes 10 of us who like it and 8 who don’t

 

Yaonorozu: how have you all tried it though, they don’t sell it in japan

 

Edge : i bought some for halloween last year

 

Mr. Electric: that’s insane, importing it is expensive

 

Edge : when it comes to halloween, price is no obstacle

 

Yaonorozu: maybe i can ask my parents to get some for our halloween movie night

 

Joan Jett: great idea babe

 

Joan Jett: all of your ideas are great <3

 

Joan Jett: i’m gay

 

thermostat: same

 

Mr. Electric: yaomomo if i weren’t already deeply in like with my three boyfriends i would date you

 

Yaonozoru: i’m a lesbian

 

Mr. Electric: and unfortunately, you're dating kyoka

 

Joan Jett: say that to my face bitch

 

Mr. Electric: no thanks...

Chapter Text

Pinky: I know we’re having a movie night for halloween but class b is holding a costume party the night before

 

Pinky: if any of you fuckers aren’t dressed up, I’m going to fight you.

 

Pinky: now that that’s out of the way, who wants to go to the costume shop with me ? :-)

 

Tails: is it really that serious tho

 

Edge™: Halloween only comes once a year, ojiro

 

Zero gravity: mina is the looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you meme

 

Zero gravity: aoyama knows all about that

 

Tamaki: first of all, rude

 

Insomnia: second of all?

 

Tamaki: nothing

 

Tamaki: I think I’m going as sailor moon

 

Tamaki: neito will be tuxedo mask

 

Sharkboy has removed Tape Dispenser from The Great Candy Corn Debate 2k17

 

Sharkboy: i have news but i don’t want him to read it


Zero gravity: what happened?

 

Mr. Electric: mina told me about the costume party a few hours ago (thanks bro)

 

Pinky: (no problem bro)

 

Mr. Electric: so i dragged my three bfs to the store to buy costumes

 

Mr. Electric: and for funsies we wanted to try on girl costumes

 

Joan Jett: uh oh

 

Sharkboy: bc fuck gendered clothes

 

Pepe: mood

 

Iida: same

 

Mr. Electric: and i knew sero was the tallest out of us but like,,,

 

Lava girl: 60% of his height is legs

 

Sharkboy: and they look reaaally good in short shorts

 

Mr. Electric: like so good they should be illegal?

 

UcantCme: thicc

 

Thermostat: no

 

Joan Jett has renamed the chat Class 1-A is gay

 

Yaonorozu: that rhymes

 

Joan Jett: it’s my musical gift, what can I say?

 

Mr. Electric: kyouka that’s one rhyme

 

Edge: while I love the choice in group chat names, I think it’s missing something

 

Shouji: not halloween enough?

 

Edge: exactly

 

Joan Jett: so what do you think it should be, jack skellington

 

Edge:

 

Edge has changed their name to Jack Skellington

 

Edge has changed the chat name to Halloween Town

 

Tamaki: not gay enough

 

Jack Skellington: so how do you propose we make it gay and halloween themed

 

Lava girl: we could just delete the entire fucking group chat and never make another one

 

Mr. Electric: lol no

 

Sharkboy: nice try sweaty

 

Insomnia: you’re missing a boyfriend

 

Mr. Electric has added Tape Dispenser to Halloween Town

 

Tape Dispenser: do i wanna know why i was removed so randomly

 

Mr. Electric: nope

 

Tape Dispenser: alright

 

Tape Dispenser: so why is the chat name changed?

 

Pinky: we’re trying to change it so something gay and halloween related but it’s so frickening hard

 

Tape Dispenser: why don’t you just add the word gay to something

 

Tape Dispenser: gay halloween town

 

Tamaki: gay candy corn

 

UcantCme: gay witch

 

Tails: you’re all terrible at names

 

Insomnia: so what do you suggest?

 

Tails: i don’t have any ideas

 

Pinky: so our ideas are better by default

 

Pepe: mina that’s not how this works

 

Pinky: :-(

 

Zero gravity: tsu why would you EVER make mina type a sad face

 

Tamaki: i feel like the earth’s gravity shifted

 

Mr. Electric: things don’t feel right anymore

 

Pinky: it’s alright guys!

 

Insomnia: you’re on thin fucking ice, frog girl

 

Tails: i was wrong, this whole class is extra

 

Thermostat: okay but you and shinso flirted for m o n t h s , knew that you liked each other, and weren’t dating

 

Tails: you think i was excluding myself?

 

Tails: i know what i did

 

Insomnia: take a fucking sip, babes

 

Thermostat: what are you, 10?

 

Insomnia: actually i’m 12 so shut the fuck up

 

broccoli: don’t you just love when ur friend and your boyfriend get along :-)

 

Mr. Electric: me when kiri and kyouka play smash bros together

 

Sharkboy: i’m 99% sure she cheated

 

Joan Jett: just accept that i’m better than u

 

Sharkboy: NEVER

 

Thermostat: see i don’t have this problem bc izuku gets along with almost everyone

 

Insomnia: he’s almost stealing my place as my father’s favorite

 

broccoli: no i’m not

 

Tamaki: well uraraka is almost taking mine as present mic’s and you don’t see me complaining

 

Zero gravity: it literally makes no sense that he’d choose you over me

 

Tamaki: and yet that’s how it is :-)

 

Insomnia: and it has nothing to do with you dating monoma? I hear mic is quite fond of him

 

Tamaki: it’s the other way around, mon cherie

 

Tamaki: he only tolerates monoma bc i like him

 

Tamaki: he thinks monoma is a little shit

 

Lava girl: well he’s not wrong is he

 

Zero gravity: you’re not one to talk, bakugo

 

Thermostat: you and monoma are on the same level of asshole, you’re just more aggressive about it

 

Lava girl: did i ask you half and half

 

Thermostat: do you ever ask me

 

Lava girl:

 

Lava girl: fair enough

 

Joan Jett: yknow i never rlly thought about it but bakugo hasn’t changed his screen name yet

 

Mr. Electric: he can’t, we match!

 

Tape Dispenser: i’m the only one left out

 

Joan Jett: how do you incorporate sharkboy and lava girl with sero tho

 

Tape Dispenser: you don’t apparently

 

Mr. Electric: we’ll tHINK OF SOMETHING

 

Tape Dispenser: don’t do too much of that, you’ll hurt yourself

 

Mr. Electric: RUDE

 

Lava girl: it’s true though

 

Mr. Electric: I hate this fucking family

Chapter Text

Thermostat: it’s after Halloween, do you know what that means?

 

Pinky: DISCOUNT CANDY

 

Thermostat: yes but also

 

Thermostat has changed the chat name to it’s christmas time, bitches

 

Lava girl: this whole class is fucking extra

 

UcantCme: I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

 

uCantCme has changed their name to Santa

 

Santa: perfect

 

Jack Skellington: ?

 

Santa: no one has seen santa before

 

Pinky: tooru you’re a genius

 

Zero gravity: i just had an idea

 

Jack Skellington: oh no

 

Zero gravity: the bakusquad should do the dance from mean girls

 

broccoli: kacchan is regina george

 

Joan Jett: denki is karen

 

Mr. Electric: WHY

 

Tails: is that a serious question or

 

Mr. Electric: ...no

 

Mr. Electric: so who’s gretchen and cady

 

Joan Jett: idk but i’m a lesbian janis

 

Sharkboy: I WANNA BE GRETCHEN

 

Tape Dispenser: i guess i’m cady then

 

broccoli: todoroki’s too gay to function

 

Thermostat: this is true

 

Thermostat: izuku, help me set up a christmas tree in my dorm room

 

broccoli: ????

 

broccoli: where did you get a tree from

 

Yaonorozu: me

 

Yaonorozu: he was really excited and i couldn’t say no

 

Yaonorozu: i would’ve made a bigger one but unfortunately, i’m not very good at making them yet

 

broccoli: it’s no problem!! thank you anyway :-)) shouto i’ll be right there

 

Joan Jett: YOU DID OWNDERFUL BABE,,,,,

 

Tape dispenser: why can’t i have a supportive relationship like that

 

Joan Jett: because that’s not how you idiots work

 

Lava girl: not all of us are idiots

 

Jack Skellington: on the subject of relationships

 

Jack Skellington: mezo says “quoth the raven” whenever i say anything

 

Shouji: quoth the raven

 

Tamaki: at least that’s better than bakugou telling everyone to shut up, including his boyfriends

 

Lava girl: shut the fuck up

 

Tape Dispenser: you’re mistaken, bakugou’s “shut up” is basically an “i love you”

 

Pepe: he does have a different tone and facial expression when saying it to them

 

Lava girl: no i fucking dont

 

Zero gravity: yes you do

 

Zero gravity: you’re so soft for your boyfriends

 

Lava girl: i’m not soft for anyone

 

Sharkboy: what about when denki fell asleep with his head in your lap and you didn’t move, even when he started drooling

 

Lava girl: i just didn’t feel like it

 

Tape dispenser: or when you pulled an all nighter to help kirishima study for a test

 

Lava girl: i didn’t want the idiot to fail

 

Mr. Electric: OH what about when sero was having a bad day and you bought him ice cream and you two played video games in your room all day

 

Lava girl: it’s awkward as hell to see him moping okay

 

Lava girl: i didn’t want to deal with that shit

 

Zero gravity: you’re trying real hard to play this off

 

Lava girl: ...is it working

 

Insomnia: one time ojiro fell asleep with shinx on his stomach and i took a hundred pictures while crying

 

Thermostat: whenever i see izuku with shion, i get the sudden urge to marry him

 

Joan Jett: all of the boys in this class are fucking weird

 

Mr. Electric: excuse me, kyoka

 

Mr. Electric: you turn into a blubbering mess whenever yaomomo so much as breathes

 

Joan Jett: stop being lesbophobic :-//

 

Tamaki: one time i texted neito and he replied  week later saying “sorry, i was sleeping”

 

Lava girl: i’m still not sure why you would ever date that piece of shit

 

Tamaki: mic says the same thing!

 

Tamaki: in less harsh wording, though

 

Santa: how are things between you two, by the way?

 

Tamaki: great!! Thank you for asking :-)) we’re going ice skating soon

 

Pinky: aw that sounds so cute

 

Tamaki: he’s a little shy about pda, but i don’t mind

 

Yaonorozu: that’s a little hard to believe considering how extra he is about everything else

 

Tamaki: i was thinking the exact same thing, but kendo says he’s just nervous

 

Sharkboy: are you hanging out with all of 1B?

 

Tamaki: well we have to see each other somehow, and I’m certainly not bringing him around you all

 

Tamaki: no offense

 

Sharkboy: HOWS TETSU

 

Mr. Electric: kiri you literally see him like. Everyday

 

Tape dispenser: yeah and you have his number

 

Tamaki: whenever i go over, he asks about kirishima

 

Pinky: why don’t you invite him over eijiro

 

Sharkboy: because…

 

Sharkboy: ive never thought about it

 

Joan Jett: oh my god

 

Santa: somebody help this boy