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15 Feb 2014
From a prompt on the kink-meme: "Thorin's company escapes the goblin tunnels, they are chased by the wargs and they take refuge in the trees. But when Azog shows up it turns out he has no intention of killing them. He has been fantasizing about Thorin ever since the dwarf cut off his arm, and now he has every intention of proposing to the love-of-his-life in a proper orc-fashion...
So, instead of attacking Azog starts courting Thorin (much to everyone's horror), reciting orc poetry, singing morbid love songs accompanied by the howling wargs and professing his undying love for his beloved foe, combining threats and promises. Thorin is thoroughly disgusted, the older dwarves are outraged and the young ones are barely suppressing laughter, while Gandalf is disturbingly pragmatic about the whole situation. Bilbo is just scared."