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John's Letter

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Sherlock,

I know. For someone so good at reading people you would think that you knew I knew. Maybe you did, and that leads to the question of, was it worth it? Was she worth it? It doesn’t matter now because I’ll be long gone when you read this. I hope you can find some form of happiness in her, whoever she may be. For a while, I thought you may have actually, I don't know, loved me, stupid wasn't it? somewhere in you, In that cold heartless chest of yours, I thought maybe you loved me. But I was wrong Sherlock, I clearly was another experiment. Did you get the information you needed? ‘John Watson’s heart accelerated the first time we kissed’ or was it ‘Subject 1 seems to actually think I love it.’ I’m tired Sherlock, I’m tired of her cheap perfume on your clothes, I’m tired of the taste of her stale lipstick when I kiss you. Mostly, I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t hurt. I love you Sherlock Holmes, I always will, even if you don’t love me back...and I’m sorry Sherlock, no, not for leaving, I’m sorry for you. I’m sorry that you are emotionless, I’m sorry you can’t keep a friend, or a lover. It must be so lonely being you. Hope life is as exciting as you always wanted it, I hope she isn’t boring. I just really, really, Really, hope she was worth it because I’m not coming back. You probably thought when I found out I’d be angry, scream at you, throw things, maybe hit you. But, Sherlock, I won’t because I’m not going to put so much emotional effort into someone who doesn’t care. I’m done, I put up with a lot, oh a hell of a lot when it came to being there for you Sherlock. I’m done now. I’m leaving. What I’ve deduced Sherlock, is that you never loved me, because you don’t destroy the people you love Sherlock Holmes. And that's what you did...you destroyed me. Everyone was right about you. I should have run far far away when they told me too. I foolishly stayed and I foolishly fell in love with you. That’s on me. That was my mistake. I spent a while blaming myself, But I’m done with that now. I’m done with you. I’m setting you free. I’m letting go, or whatever those bullshit quotes say. I’m just done. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t write me. I gave you many chances to say sorry, to come clean or to stop, but you didn’t. So that’s on you if you want me back that is too damn bad because my trust and want of you was long gone before I was.

Goodbye Sherlock Holmes,

Doctor John H. Watson

If you do get the silly idea to try and find me...dont.