Last ten days had been by far one of the most amazing ten days of Blaine’s life so far. The freedom that he had felt was unprecedented. He had gone off social media grid and only got in touch with his friends and family once a week on a scheduled time. And all the other time he was enjoying the road, exploring cities that he had never been, jamming with musicians that taught him more than he ever learned before and most important of it all, he was spending time with Sebastian.
Despite Sebastian’s very complicated and busy schedule every day, they had spent enough time together and become much closer than before. And this made certain things difficult for Blaine, like not blurting out the dreaded three words on every other opportunity and he wasn’t lacking in them. Living close quarters with Sebastian was a unique experience for him as he had to practice a lot of restraint around him so much so that he started a journal.
#45 Sebastian likes mini-cupcakes.
#46 Sebastian doesn’t like shirts.
But more than that Sebastian likes to lounge around eating mini-cupcakes without shirts and it drove Blaine bonkers, more than he could ever imagine. So much that he retreated back to his bunk and act like he was still sleeping till the court was clear. He didn’t know that if the other man was doing it on purpose or not but he was pushing Blaine closer to snapping each day.
On top of all this, he was sure that people on the bus also had an inkling about his feelings for Sebastian since they had caught him too many time gazing at the said man. Thank goodness that nobody had opened their mouth about their suspicion if they had any. This was the only con Blaine could find about being in close quarters with Sebastian; at least on phone, he had the opportunity to mask his expressions and think things through before opening his mouth.
“How long are you going to hide here Killer? We both know that you’re not sleeping.”
Instead of giving a verbal response he silently climbed down from his bunk and went to the bathroom before he could berate Sebastian for his lack of clothing that was sending his mind into haywire.
Fortunately for him, by the time he came out, Sebastian was ready for his day and was busy on his phone. He said without looking up, “Hunter and Andrew are coming down this weekend. Since Santana asked me and Hunter to throw a bachelor party for Dave, we’re taking him to a game and drinks after since strippers and clubbing are not his choices of letting loose one last time before getting tied down. Would you like to come? It’ll be fun.”
“I don’t know if Dave would want me there, we’re not exactly…”
“If you and I can be friends then I’m sure you and Dave can be too. Give him a chance, he’s changed.”
“It’s not about that. I can see he’s changed but”
Sebastian cut in, “But nothing B. if you want to come, you’re welcome; it’s your choice. Now onto next subject, can I see the pictures that you clicked in Disneyland, you must’ve had tons of fun.”
“I did but I haven’t transferred them to my laptop yet, maybe later today.”
“I can see straight from the camera killer, no need to whip out your laptop.”
“Battery’s dead” Blaine had to lie cause his camera would not only show the photos Sebastian was requesting but also the candid pictures he had started clicking of Sebastian when he wasn’t looking. Yes, this was getting borderline obsessive but what could he do, he loved capturing it when Sebastian laughed unabashed, played with his dog, and did countless other mundane things. Maybe one day, he’d put them all in together and gift them to him.
“Never mind, did you enjoy Disneyland?”
“Yes lots and thank you for arranging what you did, you didn’t have to.”
“It’s nothing; if I didn’t get to go, at least somebody else did and enjoyed it to the full extent. And even better that it was you.”
“Were you able to sort out, whatever it was that was wrong?”
“Yeah, I did. Some idiot intern had misplaced some shit and we had to do it all over again.”
“Are you ever going to tell me what secret thing you’re working on or do I have to wait like everyone else?”
“Got to wait for it B. Practice patience, it will help you a lot with stubborn patients.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get patients who’d tease me with little snippets of information before doing the big reveal.”
“Never say never, Killer.”
That weekend when Blaine and Sebastian went down for breakfast, Blaine was in for a surprise. Hunter, Andrew, and Dave were there; the New York crew minus their girlfriends was there too. “What are you all doing here? Aren’t you supposed…?”
“Surprise B” Sebastian whispered in his ear as he threw his arm around his shoulders.
“You were on it too? Of course, you were.”
Nick said hugging him, “We missed you too much Blainey and we couldn’t deny a weekend trip to Miami, could we?”
“And Dave and Andrew invited us so we thought why not?” Thad told him.
While Blaine and Sebastian were catching up with their friends, Hunter was doing his own catching up with his fiancé in their room, “He’s changed his set list.”
“Yes, he has. And I think you know why.”
Hunter commented as he went through the set list again, “Something to do with Blaine’s presence I suppose.”
“He said it was too hard to do it knowing that Blaine would be listening in the whole time in the audience. Made it more real and I get it, they’re hard songs that take a lot out of you. Some more than others.”
“And how is he coping with being so close to Blaine?”
“What he does best? He avoids any situation that may lead to something. You know he never makes eye contact with Blaine during any of his show. If Blaine has noticed it, he hasn’t said anything yet. And Blaine is no better, he’s been avoiding too in his own way."
“I hope for both of their sakes, they sort it out soon. You know there’s a betting pool going on who will snap first and when. I’ve placed my bet on Sebastian but I’m thinking of changing it. He’s a better actor than Blaine, he won't snap first by the looks of it.”
Natasha commented with narrowed eyes taking a sip of her coffee, “Shame on you for betting on your best friend’s love life Hunter Clarington.”
“Nothing’s wrong with a little bet, keeps our lives interesting. Speaking of interesting, how have you managed to keep Blaine out of the tabloids?”
“He’s been helping me as an assistant so nobody clicks his pictures when they see the T-shirt. And most of the time, he’s out exploring the city so it’s a win-win for all.”
“I knew there was something going on but I didn’t ask earlier. I’ve been waiting for that little shit to find out that the story Thad fed him was a ruse. Well played baby,” he said before leaning to kiss her.
“I didn’t play anything, Blaine didn’t want to be just a guest so he was the one who suggested to assist me not the other way around.”
#53 Sebastian looks sexy in embellished blazer.
#54 Sebastian looks fucking sexy in leather pants and blazer.
He’d have to file these two for safe keeping in his mind till he gets a chance to put them down on writing as Blaine was exercising serious restraint to not go and kiss the fuck out of Sebastian while he was fiddling with his hair in the green room. Why does he do this to him; was he trying to punish him intentionally because it was working. Not only Blaine was slowly losing his patience, he was losing his mind too.
“So the blazer’s back huh?” Annika asked as she was dressing up beside him.
“Not for long. Wait till the first two songs and then it’ll be off cause it’s fucking hot.”
“You’re fucking hot” Blaine didn’t notice that he thought out aloud till he heard Odessa and Annika giggling silently. Fortunately, his admission was so quiet that only two of them had heard it but it didn’t stop him from turning bright red, which Sebastian noticed, “What has you turning all pink Killer?”
“It’s too hot as you said. Had too much sun I think” he tried to cover up.
“Yeah, the sun will do that to you. Did you have fun with the motley crew on the beach?”
“Yes I did, you’d have to come out tomorrow.”
“Definitely planning on it.”
Blaine wanted to talk to Dave before his bachelors’ day festivities, he couldn’t find an opportune time, but luckily Dave had noticed and decided to take the first step himself, “Blaine I know it’s been awkward between us since we first met and then with my history with two of your exes, first with Kurt and then with Sebastian. But you should”
Before Dave could comprehend that he had put his foot in the mouth, Blaine had already exclaimed, “two?”
“Yeah, you’ve to know that I still am sorry about what I did to Kurt.”
“NO, I mean yes, it was bad, but it’s in the past. He forgave you and so did I but what about Sebastian? You guys dated?”
“We didn’t date exactly…” Dave tried to backtrack but Blaine wasn’t having any of it, “Dave, it’s better if you let the cat out of the bag completely since I can't/won't ask Sebastian about his dating life now.”
“Well, we didn’t date if that’s what you want to know. We’ve always been friends and that’s it. But we had sex and it was just that; sex, plain and simple. I care for him as a friend and I’m not his type exactly,” Dave tried his best to put it all out in black and white.
But Blaine didn’t look as cool about the disclosure as he tried to present, “Wow.”
“It’s not that big of a deal man. I mean it’s been years, Andrew knows about it, even my dad does, and we joke about it. It’s fine honestly; it’s ancient history. I mean he’s going to marry Andrew and I so you can see it doesn’t mean anything. And it shouldn’t matter to you now, it’s not like you and Seb were/are dating,” Dave pointed out.
Blaine sighed, “Yeah.”
“So now that everything’s in the open, please come today. You’re Sebastian’s friend and Andrew’s too. I’d like if we get along at least if not as friends” Dave tried to bring the conversation back on track.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be your friend Dave but like you said, we just met each other in unfortunate circumstances. I don’t have any hard feelings for you and I’d like to be your friend too,” Blaine told him.
“Good. And we’re not going to any stripper club if that’s what you’re worried about. At least that’s what Sebastian and Hunter have assured me.”
Blaine assured him with a smile, “You don’t have to worry, Seb and Hunter have taken the classy route; he told me.”
Thad asked as everyone except Sebastian went down to the ground, “Aren’t you going to join us, Sebastian?”
“Unfortunately no contact sports for me but don’t worry, you guys have fun. I’ll be watching from up there” Sebastian replied while pointing to the seats.
“We were not expecting this when we were invited but let me just say holy shit.”
“Helps to have excellent connections Mr. Duval” Hunter commented as he passed the ball towards Beat.
“That it does Mr. Clarington.”
The boys played for a good solid hour before they noticed that they weren’t alone, “Am I seeing what I think I am seeing?”
Nick said when he looked where Jeff’s attention was, “This day just keeps getting better and better.”
“Not for everyone Nick,” Jeff said when he saw Blaine watching Sebastian having a good time with someone else with a soured look.
“Exactly oh shit. That must be hurting after my revelation earlier” Dave said as they gathered around.
“That Sebastian and I had sex in the past, Blaine didn’t take it as coolly as he tried to show,” Dave told Andrew.
“Why would you reveal that babe? I can’t imagine how that would’ve come up in a conversation of all things and that too today.”
“I don’t know myself. One moment I was apologizing for Kurt and asking to be friends and the next I told him that. I never meant to, you have to believe me.”
“Of course I do but we need to do damage control now,” Andrew said before taking Dave’s hand and marching up to where Sebastian and others were sitting. When he saw them coming towards him, Sebastian made introductions for everyone. Dave asked, “Hey Seb, was this part of today’s plan?”
One of the team members replied for Sebastian, “No, we actually have a practice later this evening.”
“And we spotted Sebastian sitting and we’re huge fans so we came out. Hope you don’t mind and congratulations for the wedding, Sebastian told us” another added.
But despite Dave and Andrew’s efforts, their damage control didn’t work out, as they would’ve hoped cause Michael, the team member who Sebastian was chatting with earlier had followed him to the club where they were having drinks.
“Who is he trying to fool? Sebastian practically invented this game” Dave commented as he saw Michael talking to Sebastian.
“It’s okay babe and it’s not like Seb was trying to pick him up. Michael saw a chance and he grabbed it, if Blaine’s not ready to open his mouth then maybe this is for the best. Who knows, maybe that'll trigger him,” Andrew said taking another sip of his drink.
“I just hope this doesn’t backfire.”
While everybody else was having a gala time, Blaine’s attention was on Sebastian and Michael the whole time. They looked quite thick for having met just this afternoon. Dave’s earlier admission was still fresh on his mind and now with a different man having Sebastian’s attention, it wasn’t setting easy with him. Blaine commented when Sebastian came out to the balcony where he was standing alone away from the party, “Dave told me that you guys had sex.”
Sebastian didn’t know how to respond for a moment not seeing how that was relevant at that instant so he agreed, “we did.”
“You never told me that”
“There’s a lot I didn’t tell you if you noticed,” he replied in the same accusing tone that Blaine had used.
Blaine sighed looking over the crowd downstairs, “I’ve noticed.” He was quite for a while but then he asked quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were friends.”
“Cause you never asked and it wasn’t exactly your business” he replied before walking back to where everyone was waiting.
By the time the night was wrapped, Hunter and Sebastian were the only ones who were not drunk out of their minds. So with the help of Henry and Matt, they deposited everyone back to their hotel rooms. Blaine was the only one left so Sebastian took him considering they had adjacent rooms. “You were quite chummy with that footballer. What was his name again, Marvin, Milo?”
“Jealousy looks good on you killer. Now let's get you in bed” Sebastian said as he shuffled Blaine near his bed.
“You’re beautiful,” looked like Blaine was still a very affectionate drunk with his cute little hiccups and slurred speech.
“And you’re drunk.”
“Yes, I’m drunk and you are beautiful…and tomorrow morning I will be sober…and you Sebastian…will still be beautiful” Blaine said as Sebastian put him to bed.
“Only I can end up in the same situation with the same person years later doing the same fucking thing. Vous avez de la chance vous êtes mignon Blaine Anderson.” Sebastian didn’t know what came over him but he brushed away an errant curl from Blaine’s forehead before dropping a small kiss when he saw that the other man was out like a light. “I hope you won’t remember this tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”
If Blaine remembered it or not, he didn’t show and Sebastian was relieved. He didn’t know how he would’ve explained it if Blaine had asked. But honest to god, he didn’t want to lie anymore. It was getting harder every single day to not break down in front of him and confess that he was still in love with Blaine even years later; that he never stopped despite how hard he tried. He never thought that he’d be that type of person yet here he was.
He didn’t even know what came over him when he asked Blaine to come on tour with him, he should’ve known that it would end up in disaster. Yet he was trying to avoid it as humanly as possible but Blaine wasn’t making it easy. And what’s with all the jealousy, he didn’t plan on hitting up with Michael. Michael tracked him down to the club and then the question about Dave. Dave and he were just friends now, best friends, but nothing more.
Speaking of friends, he knew that there was some sort of betting going on among his friends and even the girlfriends were involved. Yet he hadn’t confronted anyone because he was secretly dreading to know about it. All he knew that it involved him and maybe Blaine too since Blaine looked quite oblivious to the looks that were being passed around the motley crew.
By the time their friends went back, there was an obvious shift between Sebastian and Blaine as they both were secretly avoiding being alone together. Whenever such situation arose, Blaine would either excuse himself to go study since his Nick and Jeff had brought his study material or Sebastian would excuse himself for a myriad of reasons. Everyone on the bus observed this clear shift except the two who were being pig-headed idiots as Santana was calling them.
Over time as they were getting in the home stretch of the tour, Blaine and Sebastian were back to their normal selves around each other, which solved a lot of concerns from their friends. “B, aren’t you going to explore the city today?” Sebastian asked when he noticed that Blaine was still hanging around.
“Nah, taking a break from exploring. I’ve to call Kurt, I’ve been putting it off for quite some time and with me going back to new york soon, it’s better I do it now. Apparently, Rachel saw some photograph of me with someone at Britt and Santana’s place and assumed that I was dating the guy in the photograph.”
“At least now you don’t have to cook up some story about how you’ve moved on, you have a ready-made one.”
“That I do so good luck, have a good day,” Blaine said, as Sebastian was ready to leave for interviews and such.
“You too, see you later, Bye.”
Blaine didn’t want to take any chances with Kurt so he decided to call him from a public phone. On the fourth ring, the call was picked Hello Kurt, it’s Blaine.”
“Hi, Blaine. I never thought it would be you when I picked up the phone.”
“I’m calling from a payphone, this is not my number,” Blaine told him leaving nothing out.
“Oh! You don’t want me to have your number huh?”
He calmly replied to Kurt’s provoking, “After the way you’ve acted since I left you, I don’t want to take any chances.”
“Then why have you called today? To gloat about your new found love, never pegged you to fancy a blond Blaine” Blaine could imagine Kurt sitting at his desk, narrowing his eyes and throwing venom around.
“I didn’t call you to gloat anything. I called you to tell you that I want you to stop harassing my friends. There is nothing left between us to talk about; I’ve moved on, you should too.”
Kurt had to take a minute to reevaluate considering Blaine hadn’t picked up any of his jabs and was still calm on his stand, “So you really love him, whoever he is?”
“Yes I do” came a firm admission from the other side.
“Can’t you tell me his name, I deserve that at least.”
“I would tell you but I don’t trust you.”
“When did we go so wrong Blaine? How did we end up at this place?”
“When we started competing with each other instead of supporting each other. When we stopped liking each other. It happened years ago and we just kept on carrying the burden till it dissolved our marriage. We shouldn’t have done this to each other but we did. But it’s time that you let me go and find the one who truly makes you happy as I have”
“He makes you happy?”
“More than anything else can.”
Kurt had to know that he had truly lost the fight from the clarity in Blaine’s voice and if he wanted to have a shot at ever talking to him again, he had to give up. “Then I can be happy for you. I’ll stop bothering your friends and I never wanted to hurt you, Blaine, I hope you know that.”
“Thank you and…”
“Yeah?” Kurt prompted.
“If you don’t mind, I advise you to talk to an outsider, get some help. Therapy works in ways that you can't imagine if you give it an honest chance. Take it from someone who’s been on both side of the room”
“You were seeing a shrink?”
“Yes I was in therapy and it has helped me a lot”
He said after a pause, “I’ll think about it.”
Though Kurt was reeling from the phone call; he was still not ready to accept any chance of Blaine getting together with that snake. “Pardon me if I take everything you said with a grain of salt Blaine. Maybe you’re hiding because you’ve something to hide.”
He was going through the gossip sites for any news and it looked like he found something, “Aha! I knew it. You two can’t fool me so easily.”
Sebastian Smythe has a new boyfriend
Vous avez de la chance vous êtes mignon Blaine Anderson - You’re lucky you’re cute Blaine Anderson
Thanks for the kudos. Enjoy the next chapter :)
Looks like elusive singer-song writer Sebastian Smythe has a new man in his life. Yes, you heard it right, people. Sebastian might be dating NFL player Michael de Vito. Various sources reported that that the singer met Michael when he attended a practice (closed to the public) and they hit right off the bat. Later that day Michael was caught leaving the same club where Sebastian was having a private party for a friend. Not only this, Michael was seen enjoying Sebastian's concert by several fans last night. It seems the singer is ready to find love and we couldn't be happier for him.
"At least he's not dating Blaine cause that's all that matters," Kurt said as he glanced through various gossip sites.
While Blaine was feeling like he had just conquered the biggest obstacle of his life, Sebastian was having an interview straight from hell. The interviewer had suddenly gone off rails and Sebastian had enough of him. He tried several times to change the direction of the interview but the man wasn't ready to let up so Sebastian decided to put him in his place once for all, "Um, wow. Didn't know I had to have a gay agenda to make the music I do? Don't let your common sense come into the way of your ignorance, huh? Despite knowing that I've been out for more than a decade now, you came out to interview me when you're as homophobic as I'm gay. Kudos to you man, kudos."
"And then you have the audacity to accuse me of using my dog for sympathy? If you'd done your research then you would've known that I've had him even before I came on the scene and why do I need him. It's none of your business. Just because I don't look sick or have a superficial disorder doesn't mean I'm faking it. And just like you don't look like an asshole and a homophobe doesn't mean you aren't one because you sir are both. Now, have a good day cause I'm outta here spreading my so-called 'gay agenda'."
Some management official tried to handle the situation, "Sebastian, we're extremely sorry…" But he had already made up his mind and asked Henry, "Just get me outta here. I'm going to loose it colossally if I don't get out of this room soon."
And his mood hadn't improved when he got back to the hotel. Blaine was just coming back when he saw Sebastian rushing off to his room and locking himself inside. "What happened? He looked quite pissed."
Henry tried to explain, "Because he is. On top of already a bad day, a reporter just got into with him about being gay and rich and about Zeus…"
"Oh! I'm gonna go and check on him."
"Yeah, he needs to calm down cause he has a show in evening" Natasha reminded.
"Seb, can I come in?" Blaine asked as he gently knocked the locked door. He stuck his ear on the door to listen what was going on the other side but he was met with complete silence. He tried again and after few minutes, the lock clicked. Upon entering the room, he found it flooded with darkness with all the lights off and curtains on. Sebastian went back to lying face down in the middle of the bed while still wearing his shoes and clothes with Zeus was lying beside him. Blaine waited for a while to get any response to his presence but when he didn't get one, he whispered gently as he sat on the edge of the bed, "I heard what happened. I'm sorry that you had to sit through that. Do you want to talk about it?"
It felt like hours before Sebastian spoke and it was so sudden that Blaine flinched, "I'm sick of it. For years it's been the homophobic bullshit and that I can handle that because I'm proud I am gay. But the fact that people feel a vendetta against you just because you're born in a privileged family and they're not is stupid and idiotic. As if one chooses his or her parents and family before they're born. I thought once high school was over, people are supposed to grow up."
Clearly, Sebastian had been more upset than he was expecting as his eyes were red with the evidence that he may have cried earlier but before Blaine could console him, Sebastian went on, "on top of all that, he had the audacity of saying I didn't look gay enough? I mean what the fuck? Are gays supposed to vomit glitter and spout rainbows everywhere they go to be considered gay? Ugh… I felt like calling up a dozen of drag queens and throwing a whole pride party just to annoy him and make him see how absurd and idiotic he was being. That would've shown him the so-called 'gay agenda' according to him."
By the time Sebastian was done, he had calmed down considerably and looked like he was ready to crash but his phone hadn't stopped blowing up since Blaine had stepped inside the room. Sebastian said as he went through his phone, "Can everybody stop? I'm not dying unless you can die from the stupidity of the human race. I don't want to get back to anyone right now. Well, except my mom."
"Why don't I handle everybody else after you talk to her and you can take a nap and relax before you've to leave" Blaine suggested.
"Would you do that for me?"
"I just offered."
"Thanks a lot, B, you're a lifesaver."
"Anything for you" was slowly becoming Blaine's secret way of saying those 'three words'. By the time Blaine was done replying to everyone, he had come up with a plan to cheer Sebastian up. "Hey guys, I need help."
"Whatever you need Blaine," Oliver replied. From there it was all the matter of proper logistics and management to get the perfect end result.
"Okay? Why is everybody smiling at me? Is something going on? Because this is feeling weird," Sebastian said as he was walking to the stage.
Blaine knew that his excuse wasn't going to fly but he had to try, "they just want you to know that they support you after what happened earlier. And you should be happy that everyone's smiling at you."
"Well, it feels creepy."
"Bear with it and smile back. It won't kill you."
"You don't know that, " Sebastian said before walking on stage.
Natasha told Blaine, "He'll be blown away. The fact that you managed to organize this in a few hours is nothing short of extraordinary."
"What can I say? He has some very dedicated fans. And the fact that I didn't even need to micro-manage anything shows how much they're pissed at what happened earlier. They truly want to show their support."
The publicist told him, "The reporter is fired and supposedly black-listed. A lot of celebrities are showing their support and media is lapping it up. He's been trending number one for hours and the video has gone viral. Everyone's lauding him for putting that reporter in his place."
"He deserved whatever Sebastian dished. And the fact he didn't even unleash his full potential on that reporter is hilarious as that stupid man was clearly stumped by the time Sebastian was done with him."
"You liked seeing him go off on somebody huh?" Natasha nudged him by her shoulder.
"Does it make me bad if I admit it does?"
"No sweetie it doesn't; whatever works for you."
Blaine asked the publicist, "Did you find out how the reporter was even allowed to do that? From what I see, it was just poor management from start to end."
"Yes it was, the original reporter had to take an emergency sick leave so that dick filled in for him. So we didn't have time to vet him."
"And did you find out why he went after Seb like that? It wasn't just homophobia or prejudice, it felt personal."
"This isn't confirmed yet but I found out that a couple of years ago, Seb's father took that reporter's father down for a case. As a result, he lost his job among other things so when he got the perfect opportunity to get some kind of revenge he took it. Unfortunately, he didn't know who he was dealing with."
"Does Seb know about this?"
"Not yet but I will tell him tonight, he would be angry if I didn't" Natasha was cut in between by a crew member when they were informed that the surprise was going to happen soon.
Sebastian was quite into his song so he didn't notice it at first since he was looking down but all of a sudden he saw the whole stadium light up in a giant rainbow sea and had to stop to for a second to catch his breath. He couldn't believe his eyes for they might be deceiving him as rows and rows of people had lit up their flashlights and put colored papers in front of them to create a huge pride flag as far as he could see.
After his song was done all he could say, "Uh… wow, just wow. You guys are so great. This is the best thing someone has done for me. I don't know all of your names and I'll never have the opportunity to know you. But I just want to say that thank you and I love this. You guys are the best. If only everyone can see that this is our so-called 'gay agenda.' To spread togetherness and acceptance for everyone as they are."
Sebastian asked once he came backstage before the encore, "Is this why everyone was smiling at me earlier because it was just…out of the world. How did they even organize it? Was this pre-planned or last minute?"
"Ask Blaine. He organized it" Tasha told him.
"B, you're getting really good at surprising me huh. That meant the world to me, thank you. I would hug you but I don't think you'd like it" Sebastian said pointing to his sweat drenched self.
"You're most welcome and I appreciate your restraint" Blaine smiled.
That night they didn't talk till late since both of them had a long day but when Blaine woke late next morning, he was in for a surprise when he switched on his phone. Through the night it had lost its battery and when it came back online, there were hundreds of messages and calls from his friends back in New York.
Just saw twitter. Good job, I'm sure you were behind that. Call me when you're free so that we can talk about how you did that.
There were similar messages from his friends and Cooper but soon enough, the subject of messages changed.
Is everything all right with you two?
Why are you guys in the hospital? Are you both okay? Call us if you need anything and keep us posted.
Hospital? Who was in the hospital? But before his mind could get into an overdrive he decided to check what news could've led his friends into believing that somebody was in the hospital. Fuck.
"I just got out of the shower and switched on my phone. Why didn't anybody wake me and inform me earlier? What happened?" Blaine said once he saw Natasha opened the door for him. On entering he found various members of Sebastian's team having a discussion.
"First, come in. Sebastian is fine now, he's in his room if you want to see him, Blaine." He greeted everyone before going to Sebastian's room. When he entered the room, he saw Sebastian having breakfast in his bed with Zeus lying on the side. Even though he wanted a minute-by-minute explanation of what happened over the course of the night since he last saw Sebastian. He knew he had to be patient here. "Good morning. You don't look so good. How are you now?"
"Like my brain was put through a blender and elephants stomped over my chest" Sebastian nodded before he replied while taking a sip of his juice.
"That's some imagery." There was a whole lot Blaine wanted to say but he chose to ask, "why didn't anyone wake me, I could've gone with you guys."
"I didn't want to ruin your night after the surprise you arranged for me. And it's not that big of a deal for me, I've become a pro at hospital visits," Sebastian shrugged.
"That's not particularly reassuring and my night wouldn't have gotten ruined." though he was hurt that he wasn't informed but he didn't want to get into that. "Did the doctor say anything; will you be doing the show tonight?"
"Unfortunately tonight's show is canceled since I'm completely off my game. The doctor ordered rest for next few days."
Blaine nodded while taking a stock of how different Sebastian looked. With Sebastian's attitude and behavior, one could easily forget that he was dealing with health issues too but this was the first time he was seeing that Sebastian was not invincible, that he might be more vulnerable than he looked. Till now Blaine had filed that information in a box and threw it away somewhere in the back of his mind, out of sight, out of mind. But it wasn't like that anymore. "Okay, why don't you rest now and I tackle your phone and inform everyone back in New York as I'm sure they must've blown up your phone."
"Don't know; my phone is with Tasha. And thanks for doing this again B."
"No problem, you go to sleep and we'll handle everything else."
Blaine sat beside on the bed till he saw that Sebastian had fallen asleep before quietly leaving the room. "He just fell asleep but he told me that tonight's show is canceled."
Chase, Sebastian's manager told him, "Yeah and we've already posted a note online. I was feeling that everything will catch up to him sooner than later but at least he had a good healthy streak. Thank goodness that today was his last show here and the next is a few days later. Let's hope he'll be back to a hundred percent till then. We don't want to cancel the rest of the dates considering the reviews and response we had last show."
"Blaine, will you please inform everyone in New York please, I have a hundred other things I need to handle," Natasha said while looking through her laptop.
"I actually was going to ask you the same thing. Seb said that you had his phone."
She said while searching for the phone in her bag, "thanks, Blaine. I've to go and see that everything's and everyone's packed up before they're ready for the next city since today's show is canceled."
"What about Seb?"
"He'll fly out a day before the next show," Chase said.
It was late evening when Sebastian woke up and found Blaine studying on the couch. Blaine asked gently when he saw the other man waking up for good, "good sleep?" when all he got was a shrug, he tried again, "How are you feeling now?"
"Like I have a hangover from hell." Sebastian's voice broke from sleep so long.
"You must be hungry. Let's order room service, what would you like?"
"Can I get breakfast again?"
"Breakfast for dinner? I'll see what I can do?"
Sebastian asked when they sat down to have breakfast for dinner, "so, what did you do all day?"
"Fielded a ton of calls and messages, tended Zeus, helped Tasha and did some study," Blaine told him after swallowing the bite.
"No exploring again."
"Didn't feel like it and I had much more important things to do than wandering out and about."
He asked with an arched brow, "Like watching me sleep?" it made Blaine smile and assured him that Sebastian was going to be just fine with a little RR.
"You look adorable when you're sleeping, has anyone told you that? Don't make faces because you do. You don't snore but you snuffle once in a while, like a kitten maybe."
"I'm not even going to respond."
"And you got flowers from Michael, there's a card too. Seems like you made a lasting impression on him." The way Blaine said Michael's name conveyed his jealousy yet at the same time Sebastian didn't want to clear up any doubts that Blaine was having. He was enjoying this new side of Blaine that he never got to experience for himself though he knew that it was going to lead to nothing.
"Don't you know, we're dating according to various 'inside sources'," Sebastian quipped up with full air quotes in a tone that made both of them laugh.
Blaine recovered from their fit of laughter and told him, "your mom called again, I talked to her and told her that you'd call her when you'd wake up. So call her back later and I informed everyone in New York that you were okay now and resting. They were worried."
"Thank you B, you shouldn't have to waste your vacation taking care of me but I appreciate it."
"I wouldn't be on this vacation if it wasn't for you. This is the least I can do for you. And can you promise me something Seb?" when he saw Sebastian's slight jerk of the head, Blaine continued, "the next time something goes wrong and you need to go to the hospital, please let me know. Doesn't matter day or night, I worry about you and I want to be there for you. You're too important to me Sebastian." Though there was a lot else he wanted to say but he didn't think that this wasn't the best setting.
When Sebastian woke up again in the night, he found Blaine sleeping on the couch with a book on his chest so he made sure Blaine was comfortable. "You look quite adorable yourself Killer," he whispered quietly before covering him properly.
Next morning Sebastian asked Blaine, "So what are you doing today?"
"I'm going to take you to a picnic."
"Blaine I don't want to be a party pooper but I don't think we'll have a quiet relaxing picnic if I go outside," he pointed out.
"That's why we're not going outside, just to my room. Now if you'll please take a shower and get ready for it."
"This is so… not what I expected. You didn't have to B. With last concert and today this, you're spoiling me," Sebastian said when he saw the setup Blaine had done in his room.
"I'm just returning the favor. It's not like you don't do stuff for me."
"Most of the time I just make phone calls."
"Well not everybody is you. Normal people like me have to come up with all this on our own. Now come on, our picnic awaits."
"Are those scented candles because it smells very outdoorsy here?" he asked looking around while getting comfortable on the floor amidst the blankets and pillows.
"Yep and there are tons of drinks, yummy snacks, board games, good movies, and music."
"You're a sore loser killer," Sebastian laughed as he saw Blaine grumping on his loss.
"How are you sure that I didn't lose just to make you happy?"
"Even though you're someone who would do that but you haven't, at least this time. You were ready to chuck the board across earlier."
Blaine agreed, "That I was. Now, do you want to see all the pictures that I've clicked so far?"
Sebastian was meaning to ask this earlier, "Come on; tell me how you arranged that whole thing? It was last minute, wasn't it? It was extraordinary to witness."
"Yes, it was. We got tons and tons of colored post-its and when the audience was seated, we distributed one to everyone according to how we had planned earlier. We did a test run during the opening act and it was a success and then told them when to do it again. It felt like a huge synchronized pride parade and I'm glad you liked it."
"You know I've never been to an actual pride so this was pretty close."
"Really? I can't believe it. How did you compare Kurt to Puerto Rican pride floats if you never been to one."
"Come on Killer, his outfit choices were always a bit too out there, even for gays sometimes. Normal people don't dress up like that every day so it's not that hard to imagine," Sebastian shrugged.
"He likes fashion and liked to showcase it, still does despite the backlash he used to face back then."
"I like fashion too but not on my expense or comfort. If he didn't want to be bullied, he should've stopped painting target on his back. It's high school, you don't hand the sharks anything to pick on."
Blaine said, "He said that it was his way of being proud every day. Though I agree that the clothes did attract enough avoidable bullying."
"Speaking of Kurt, how did your phone call go?"
"Like you wouldn't believe it. He believed that I've moved on and agreed to stop bothering me. I advised him to get help himself to sort out his issues but the best part; we didn't go at each other, even once. I think he finally understood that we're truly over and there's no hope for us."
"I'm glad you got the last bit of closure you needed even if it's a little too late," Sebastian told him with a genuine smile.
Blaine didn't want to talk about Kurt anymore so he asked pulling out a small DIY fire pit, "Do you want to toast some marshmallows?"
"It just keeps on getting better and better."
"Here, take this while I do one for me."
"Today was a perfect day B."
"Anything for you Seb, anything for you," Blaine's eyes shone with a sincerity that floored Sebastian but he didn't know how to respond to that so he just smiled.
It was late Thursday night when they landed in the next city and to their surprise; they were informed that a horde of paparazzi was waiting for them at the airport. "How do they even know that we're here? I checked all the gossip sites before we took off, nothing was reported." Blaine froze seeing the throngs of people waiting outside the glass doors.
"Somebody from the flight must've tipped them off," Natasha pointed out.
"And since you've been off the grid for a couple of days, they want to report your arrival. Don't worry, I've called back up," Matt, Sebastian's bodyguard told them.
Sebastian could see that Blaine was getting quite anxious and uncomfortable with the frenzy that his arrival had caused. He knew that Blaine still didn't do well with the large frenzied crowds like this so he said, "B if you want you can go before me. You don't need to face the vultures, I know you don't like them at all."
"Thanks, Seb. I still…"
He asked Henry and Matt to get one of the security guys to take Blaine to the car. "I understand. Now go, I'll distract them," he told him before giving him a hug to show his support.
It took more than half an hour for Sebastian to get to the hotel after Blaine reached there. Blaine kissed Sebastian's cheek and said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Are you okay now?"
Blaine nodded before asking, "are you?"
Sebastian just shrugged, "occupational hazard."
It wasn't long before, they got in their usual groove and soon only a handful of venues were left before the tour would end. They were in Jersey when one day they heard somebody calling for Sebastian as they were walking down the hotel hallway. From his reaction, Blaine could easily deduce this was the last person Sebastian hoped to see today.
"Sebastian, didn't think I'd find you here?"
So, I had written some parts of this chapter very early but then suddenly I got so many other ideas about stuff that I want to write in future as the part of this story. I tried hard to focus on this chapter but I couldn't. Finally, I decided to put everything else that was going in my head to rest by writing them out and once I felt like I had procrastinated enough, I focused on this chapter. I don't know if this is how I wanted to proceed and go about things but here they are. This is a long one, hope you like it. :)
"Sebastian, didn't think I'd find you here?"
"You too, August. Aren't you a long way from home?" Sebastian took a moment to reply and it was clear from his body language that he knew one of the two men and had a history with him.
"As are you," the man replied in a prominent British accent.
Sebastian didn't leave the opportunity of getting an upper hand. "Actually I'm not, New York is home now. Anyway, hello, I'm Sebastian and this is my friend Blaine. August and I used to know each other."
"I'm Simon, August's fiancé. Good to meet you, Sebastian, I'm a fan of your music," the other man with August introduced himself while taking Sebastian's proffered hand.
"Fiancé? I guess congratulations are in order then. When's the wedding?" There was a certain bite in Sebastian's tone that was only hidden from the new person.
"Thank you and it's a fall wedding."
"Good for you. Now please excuse us, there are people waiting for us." Though Blaine didn't contradict Sebastian's lie yet once they were out of hearing range, he did ask, "so, who was he?"
"Somebody I used to know." Sebastian's curt response made it clear he didn't want to talk about it so Blaine didn't push but he couldn't help and wonder what exactly was the history between the two.
"What is taking him so long? Oliver, would you wait with Zeus while I go check on Sebastian?" Blaine said before getting up from their table and looking towards the direction of restaurant restrooms.
Oliver offered instead, "Why don't I go and check on him?"
"No please, let me." Blaine left before anybody else could contradict and it didn't take him long to find Sebastian but he heard him before he saw him and from what he heard, it was clear that he wasn't alone.
Blaine heard the other person say, "Natasha told me about your plans." And from that voice, he deduced that it was the same person they saw in the hotel lobby earlier. A part of Blaine wanted to reveal his presence but a much bigger part of him wanted to find out more than he knew.
"What plans?" Sebastian sounded annoyed.
"That you were going to look for rings." Blaine had to put his hand on the mouth to not let his gasp out. He didn't have any idea that things were of that nature and this serious between Sebastian and the other man.
"And that matters how now? You're engaged to be married to another man, stop looking into things that didn't happen." It seemed like Sebastian was leaving until he heard, "we were good Bastian."
"Until we weren't. Until I became…. what is that you called me Gus? Yes, a liability, someone that you play with but can't create a life with. What else? Yeah, that I was an emotionally-stunted, closed-off narcissist who would end up being alone because nobody wants to share their life with a very pretty but very empty shell."
"You have to know Sebastian that I've nothing but regret for all the wretched things I said that night. I was drunk out of my mind and…"
"Drunk or not, you humiliated me in front of your friends and I'll never ever forget that. I guess I should thank you for making me realize that I'm someone who would always be taken for granted. All this time I thought I was the jerk in all my relationships but you proved me wrong. Man, I do have a type huh?" Sebastian said in a sardonic tone that cut both August and Blaine.
"I'm so sorry Bastian. Once I woke up next morning and remembered everything; all I wanted it to be a nightmare. I never meant anything…"
He cut in, "you wouldn't have said any of it if you didn't mean it."
"You've to know that I genuinely loved you."
"And it's in the past tense. If that's how you handle the ones you love, talk about your enemies. You made me ashamed of who I was August and that is something I can't forget and forgive. And why does my forgiveness matter to you now; after all you're going to marry someone else, don't you? You've found someone who's worthy enough to create life with. So go make him happy and forget about me," Sebastian said in an eerily familiar tone that left Blaine with a feeling of déjà vu.
"Don't be. I have a habit of expecting better from people who're more likely to fail my expectations. You expect that the good ones will be good but it's always the good ones that break your heart. You're all just cowards." There was a silence that followed for a moment. "Honestly, if you didn't want to be with me anymore, you could've just said so, I would've understood. I'm not some clingy bitch who doesn't get a hint."
"I don't think of you that way."
"Could've fooled me."
After that, it just sounded like the other man was trying to grasp at straws, "Are you with the man who was with you earlier? Are you two dating?"
"It's none of your business if I am dating somebody or not."
"He's not the one for you."
"And who is? You? You're engaged, remember. And don't ever try this with me again, restroom meetings don't work in our favor as you can see," Sebastian told him in a no-nonsense voice.
"Will you at least come to my show to see the clothes? I'm presenting at the fashion week."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Just do this one thing please."
"I'll think about it." Even though Sebastian had said that he would but Blaine was sure he wasn't going to be thinking about it.
"Thank you, that would mean a lot, Bast…"
"For the last fucking time, my name is Sebastian. Don't address me by anything else, you don't deserve anything other than that," Blaine heard him shout.
"For what it's worth, I really am sorry." You could hear the remorse in August's voice yet Sebastian wasn't having any of it, "it doesn't mean anything to me. Now if you'll excuse me."
Blaine had to act fast before he was found eavesdropping so he took a few steps away from the door when Sebastian noticed him, "Oh hey B! Sorry I got caught up. Did you come to find me?" Blaine had to commend Sebastian's acting skills; if he hadn't heard the previous conversation, he wouldn't have guessed anything happened out of the ordinary.
"Yeah, you took a long time." Even though he wanted to hide the fact that he heard a private conversation, Blaine knew he won't be able to once they got back to their table. So he decided to tell it himself, "I…I want to confess something Seb. I heard you talk to the man who we saw earlier in the hotel lobby, I was coming to find you since you were taking so long and…"
"It doesn't matter" Sebastian interrupted before Blaine could complete.
"You can talk to me if you want, I'm here."
"Thanks for the offer Killer but I don't need it. Now are you coming with me or exploring the city?" it was clear from the obvious deflection that Sebastian didn't want to talk about the topic anymore so Blaine decided to follow his lead. "With you since I've already done this city before."
Blaine was fiddling with his guitar in his hotel room alone when Sebastian came and heard him. "Am I ever going to hear what you've been working on B? Since the day Nick and Jeff brought your guitar, you've been tinkering with it and I know it's not something that I've heard before."
Blaine didn't know that Sebastian had noticed yet at the same time he didn't know how to react being caught. "Um…I"
Upon seeing Blaine hesitate Sebastian offered, "Is it not finished yet? It's cool if it's not, I can be patient for a Blaine Anderson original."
Blaine looked down thinking if he was ready to reveal what he was doing or not and at the same time there was a voice in his head saying don't be a coward Blaine. He didn't realize that he thought out loud.
"I didn't quite catch that one killer, could you try again but a little bit clearer," Sebastian said leaning with his back on the windows. Blaine took that time to regroup how he was going to go about this as he put his guitar down. "Uh…before I do anything else, there's something that I've been putting off for a while that I want to talk about because I was being afraid. But I think it's time I stop." Sebastian didn't get where this was going all of a sudden. "Okaay…?"
Blaine had to take some deep breaths as suddenly his hands got all sweaty and he couldn't find where to start first. "That day when I found out that you had moved to New York and I decided to search you out and find you. I didn't know what I was expecting and what I was going to say if or when I'd see you. But when I finally saw you, all I wanted to do was to apologize to you and ask for another chance."
Sebastian chimed in, "And you got one."
"Yes I did and you don't know how much that means to me. Having you back in my life is the best thing that happened to me in a long time. but I never got to apologize to you."
"It's fine killer." Sebastian tried to brush off not liking where this was going. "No it's not," Blaine countered.
"B it's been years. Why do you need to dig it all up now?"
"Because I don't want to keep being the scared teenager who'd rather be oblivious than take any risk in fear of losing out what he already has."
"Good for you but there's no point to this. We have a good thing going on, why mess it all up. There's no need to drudge up old history because that's what it is, ancient history."
"Is it, is it really ancient history Bas?" Blaine didn't realize he raised his voice and then Sebastian shrugging didn't help the matters. "Fine, then look me in the eye and admit that and I'll walk away. I know about the letter and how you don't sing certain songs of yours because they're too much. If it's really ancient history then why do you avoid looking me in the eye when you perform? Why did you write the album? Admit that I'm wrong and I won't bring this up ever again. Look me in the eye and say it."
Again Sebastian tried to deflect, "Blaine, not everything is…" But Blaine wasn't having it anymore. He just wanted to be done with it instead of letting it hang anymore. "Stop it, Sebastian, stop it, please. You've always been honest to me so please don't change that now. I know I didn't treat you properly back then but please don't rob me the chance for forgiveness now. This limbo we're stuck in, this guilt I feel, it's been crushing me for a long time now and I need to"
But he got interrupted, "why are you feeling guilty? From what I know, you didn't do anything wrong except for not informing me that you were getting back together with your boyfriend again. Other than that I don't know what you're talking about."
"Seb please, it's okay to admit that you were hurt"
He cut in between again and this time there was anger in his eyes. "By what exactly? You didn't make any promises to me when we started spending time together. You wanted someone no strings attached while you were broken up with your boyfriend and I happened to be it. So if I got hurt in the process, it's my own fault; I knew what I was getting into yet I didn't stop. We all know what happens to the rebound guy. Heck, we didn't even kiss each other after that first night we slept with each other. That should have been my warning but I decided not to heed it. And if things didn't turn out the way I wanted, it was my own fault for wanting them that way. You're not responsible for any of it. You had a choice between the devil you knew and the devil you didn't and naturally, you chose the devil you knew. And loved. Nobody can fault you for that."
Before Blaine could say anything Sebastian continued, "and what else do you think could've happened? After the way I behaved when we met and then hurt you, that's what was bound to happen. I should've known that there was never going to be an 'us' because you wanted to be missed more than you wanted to be loved. And if I did end up getting hurt, it's not your responsibility to care Blaine. We were not dating or anything."
Blaine didn't know how to respond, he felt like he had been slapped. He didn't imagine that Sebastian felt like that, that he didn't think his feelings mattered to Blaine. And then he heard Sebastian say, "Honestly if you want forgiveness for something that you think you did Blaine, it's yours. Like I said it's been years, let it go."
A silence followed which felt uncomfortable at the same time it felt like it was needed. Both of them had lost control and didn't know how to end the conversation without hurting each other further.
It felt like hours before Sebastian heard from across the room. "Have you?" He turned to look at Blaine and he looked very sad. It broke his heart to be the one who did that yet at the same time he didn't want to go and console him because his pride wouldn't let him. Sebastian asked, "What?"
"Have you let it go?" Blaine clarified.
"I h… getting there." he wanted to lie, so much, but he didn't.
"You know what? I always admired you for being so… like nothing ever got to you, that you didn't care how anybody treated you but I so wish you'd admit that things do get to you. Just because we were not dating doesn't mean I didn't care if I hurt you by my actions. You were my friend, my best friend. You still are."
When Sebastian didn't say anything in return Blaine continued, "I'm going back to the city, I've things that need my attention. But I need you to know that the last month has been one of the most exciting ones of my life so far Sebastian and I'll always cherish it. I'm grateful that I could earn your friendship back and spend time with you; you can't comprehend how much that means to me. But I think its time I went home. Don't worry; I'll be there for your shows in New York. I'm sure you'll be amazing as always and I hope we can be friends like we were before this conversation. I do care about you, more than you can imagine."
"Blaine you don't have to go…"
"Sebastian, I think I should. Maybe some space between us is really what we need right now. Goodbye." Even though it was Blaine's room, he left and after that leaving Sebastian to fall down on the chair and clutch his head. "What the fuck did I just do?"
It was late night when Odessa came to Sebastian's room after they got back to the hotel from the venue after their show. "Bastian, what happened with Blaine? I just saw him leaving with his stuff from the venue earlier." Sebastian had just come out of the shower and he was surprised. "Shit, he was serious."
She told him, "He just said goodbyes, and then left without a proper explanation. Just said that he has some college stuff that he has to handle so he's going back but he'll come to the shows in the city."
Sebastian told her getting dressed, "We sort of had a fight earlier."
"What did you do?"
"Why does everyone automatically thinks that it's always my fault?"
"Because nine out of ten times, it is." Odessa pointed out getting comfortable on the couch.
"I won't get into that but this time, it was. He wanted to talk about what happened between us in past and apologize to me but I flipped out on him."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because today has become Sebastian's blast from the past day and I just lost the plot. I saw August in the hotel lobby in the morning, he's here with his fiancé."
"That must've been hard."
"It was but at the same time, it wasn't. But the incident didn't end there, he cornered me into the restaurant restroom while we were having lunch and Blaine heard our conversation." Though Odessa wanted to react yet she chose to let Sebastian continue, "and then Blaine felt like he needed to deal with what happened in high school on today of all days and it just went downwards. I turned whatever he was saying on to him and it went downhill from that."
"What did you say?"
"That whatever happened wasn't his fault and he shouldn't feel guilty for using me among other things. I was quite harsh with him."
"What about his apology?"
"What do you think? It was just wrong time and place, start to end."
She understood how difficult it was for Sebastian yet at the same time she wanted the best for him. "When and where will it be a right time and place Bastian? Whether you admit this or not, you don't do well with apologies. Neither delivering them but especially when you're receiving them. You hold a grudge like nobody else's business."
"I don't have a grudge against Blaine," Sebastian said getting defensive.
"Fine, it's not a grudge but you are holding something over him. And at the end, it's not helping anybody, certainly not you."
"What do you want me to do now D? He's most likely on his way back to New York already and I don't think he'd want to hear from me after what I did earlier."
"Let him go for now but you need to decide what you want from him and how you want to move forward from here. You've to get your head out of your ass Bastian and stop running from difficult conversations. I know it's a hard habit to break but you've to start now." Odessa gave her honest advice even though it might not be what Sebastian wanted to hear.
"Not taking any prisoners huh D?"
While Odessa and Sebastian had their heart to heart at night, Blaine was going to have same; he just didn't know it. "Oh my god, you gave me a heart attack Blaine. And what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Seb in Jersey?" Nick exclaimed when he saw Blaine in the kitchen.
"Came back early, breakfast?" clearly Blaine was taking the nonchalant route.
"Sure but first what happened? And before you deny anything, your face is enough proof that something did."
"Fine, you're right. Something happened but I don't want to talk about it. And you don't need to call the cavalry to sort anything; I'm handling it. This is between Sebastian and I so please don't try to meddle."
Nick told him getting comfortable on the breakfast bar, "last time we didn't meddle, you ended up changing schools and then marrying a first-class jackass, and Sebastian cut off all contacts with us for more than half a decade. So forgive me if I don't listen to you again."
"We're still friends as far as I know if that's what you're worried about. We just had a difference of opinion."
Nick pointed out, "big enough that you had to come back early?"
"I didn't want to overstay my welcome or make him uncomfortable with my presence. He did enough for me by letting me come with him when he didn't have to." Blaine said casually as he served breakfast while Nick poured the coffee.
"You're not fooling anybody here Blaine. If you're not going to voluntarily talk to me then I'm going to get everyone here. So what will it be, me or the whole cavalry?" Nick wasn't backing down.
"Fine. I tried to apologize to Sebastian for what happened in high school, I had been trying to put it off but he just didn't let me, straight to my face he told me that he doesn't hold me accountable for anything that happened and everything was his fault. That I shouldn't feel guilty and I was justified in my actions."
"And what do you think about that?"
Blaine hung his head playing with his food rather than eating it. "I don't know and one thing I know is that I still feel guilty. Even though he said he forgave me for whatever I think I did, I still feel bad. Why can't he just let me be the bad guy for once?" he exclaimed.
Nick didn't know how to answer that or if Blaine wanted him to answer that but he tried to help, "did you know that when you guys started hanging out again in the senior year, all the warblers gave Sebastian the shovel talk just for being friends with you. We hadn't talked to him all summer and when we came back from the break, we found out that we were getting a new captain and we couldn't be happier about it. But as soon as we found out that he was talking to you again, we confronted him about it."
"I didn't know that," Blaine said looking up yet he didn't know where Nick was going with this.
"And when Hunter started his steroid scheme, our first thought in regards to Sebastian was that he was also involved but wasn't really taking the lead because he didn't want to mess it up with you or his school record."
"That's not true, he was never involved in that."
"I know but our first instinct was to hold him responsible even though he had been nothing but good since he apologized to you. The point of telling you all that is that Sebastian has always been deemed as the bad guy. I'm not the future psychologist here but maybe this is how he rationalized it, that it was all his fault." Nick shrugged.
"You know what else he said? He said that it wasn't my responsibility to care about him. He thinks that less of me; as if we were never friends first."
"Blaine, the warblers, his friends betrayed him the first chance they got. You can see why he thought that."
"So what do I do now?"
"First of all, I don't know if my theory's right because it's just a theory from what you told me. So think hard before you do something about it. Secondly, nobody can tell you what to do but you guys always had something that was really special and even after all this time, it's there."
"I love him, Nick." This was the first time he had said it to anyone and it felt freeing. All this time, he had kept it inside and saying it out loud made it much more real.
"I know Blaine. I think everybody except him knows."
"So what do I do now?"
"Show all your cards and deal with it. You guys always had the chemistry but the timing was a bitch. But now this is it, timing's finally right Blaine. Tell him how you feel."
"You're right, it's time to show all my cards." Nick leaned to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me Nick, I needed it more than I thought." Nick patted his back, "Anytime my friend, anytime."
"Speaking of friends, where's Jeff?" Blaine asked.
"He's spending the weekend at Alice's but he'd be happy to know that you're home. He missed you and your cooking around here; I know I did."
"I missed you guys too."
Nick joked, "I don't think you had much time to miss anyone with all the fun stuff that you had been doing. You've to show us all the pictures."
The news that Blaine was back in the city got circulated pretty fast among his friends and everyone had very similar conversations with each other. Thad said to Quinn as they were having dinner, "I found out that Blaine's back in the city while Seb is still on tour."
"College stuff he needed to handle," Quinn told him.
"Was that all?"
"That's what he told me. Do you think something else happened?" she asked.
"I feel like it did with the abrupt return, who knows." Though Thad shrugged though the question was on everyone's mind.
A: This chapter has a lot of song lyrics and none of them belong to me. The songs are mentioned below:
1. Moments – Tove Lo
2. Bad Boy - Dan Croll
3. Latch – Disclosure (feat. Sam Smith)
4. Friends – Ed Sheeran
5. The Way That I Need You – Passenger (feat. The Once)
6. Almost Doesn't Count – Brandy
7. Patient Love- Passenger
8. Already Gone – Sleeping At Last (originally by Kelly Clarkson)
9. Reminds Me of You – Sam Smith
10. The Long Road – Passenger
B: In Italics: song lyrics.
C: In Bold: conversations in the past.
None of his friends, even Blaine knew what Sebastian had in store for his final concert. He had been very secretive about his plans and not even anybody from the band and crew had spilled the beans upon asking. Everyone knew that he had some big plans considering it was freaking Madison Square Garden but they didn't have a whiff of what was going on. All the rehearsals and sound checks were top secret so none of them were allowed to catch that and on top of that, Sebastian had been pretty much MIA the whole week leading up to today's show.
"Where are Britt and Santana?"
"They're running late I think."
"Who else is yet to come?"
"Just Britt, Santana, Seb, and his band."
Considering Sebastian's family was here for his last concert, all of the friends had decided to have a late lunch together instead of dinner after the show.
Trent asked, "Oh, here they are. How come all of you arrived together?"
"Cause we're cool like that" Santana said taking a seat.
Since it was a big day for a few people in the large group, the conversation topics were mainly focused on them. "So, what are your plans after this? Long vacations I'm expecting."
Oliver agreed, "definitely, I'm going off the grid for at least a week."
"My wife's home from her tour so we'll be barricading ourselves at home for as long as we can till we have to regroup," Annika told them.
"What about you three?" Thad asked.
Odessa answered for all of them; "Seb and I are going to out to our grandparents home for rest of summer and Tri's coming with us."
"You didn't tell us about this Seb," Hunter said.
"It was decided just this morning. I had no plans before so I thought why not."
Thad pointed out, "So we won't get to hang out before some of us go back to college."
"Uh...Sorry," Sebastian shrugged.
David told him, "No, it's okay. You deserve the vacation."
Sebastian suggested, "I could come back early if you want, like for Labor Day weekend."
"You would do that?" Jeff asked.
"I was already coming back after that weekend so it's not that big of a deal. We could do it at my place, what do you guys think?" when there was a unanimous agreement all around the large table, Sebastian announced, "then it's set, Labor Day celebrations at my place. Everybody's invited."
While all of them were hanging out they had to leave for the venue, on the other side of the city, Rachel was trying to convince her fiancé out of going out tonight. "I'm happy that you surprised me with concert tickets but why do we have to go out on my only free night Brody? Let's just stay in and relax."
"Come on Rachel, you know how long it's been since we did anything that wasn't wedding related or where we weren't entertaining anyone. And we relaxed all day today and you know I like his music," Brody pointed out.
"He's not that good."
"That's yours and Kurt's prejudice talking. I don't even understand why you're still stuck on something that happened years ago, that too in high school. You forgave me for far worse than whatever Sebastian did. I'm sure Sebastian's changed now, it's been years."
Rachel tried to reason, "maybe he did, maybe he didn't. We don't know that for sure."
"We're not going on a date with him Rachel. Even if he hasn't changed, it doesn't matter. We're just going for a fun night out where we don't have to perform for once and have a great time while someone else performs."
There was a long pause before Rachel finally conceded after giving it a long thought. "Fine, I'll go with you to the concert just because these tickets must've been hard to get and I love you but only if you don't mention this to Kurt. He'll have a fit if he finds out."
Brody agreed swearing by his neck, "Not a word from me, I swear."
It was the opening act after which Brody decided to point out to Rachel, "See, you're having fun."
"I'll agree that the opening act was good."
"The main act will be even better, I just know it."
Just like Rachel and Brody, Sebastian's friends were also waiting in the audience when they heard his voice before they could see him.
[Please listen to Moments by Tove Lo]
"I don't know what it is but just always had the pressure of being perfect and, and then at the same time, always been drawn to just fucking everything up. It just makes me feel so free; like no one can depend on you and no one expects me to be something."
 I grew up with a lot of green
Nice things 'round me
I was safe, I was fine
I grew up with a lot of dreams
Plans who to be
None of them none were mine
If there was a song that described Sebastian, at least the Sebastian from Dalton, this was it.
I can't be the perfect one
But I'll make you come
And I'm locked in your mind
You can say I don't belong
That I'm so wrong
I can tell, tell you lie
From the opening statement to the chorus to the bridge, it just fit perfectly. He set the mood right from his first statement and nobody could deny it.
Rough around the edges, memories , and baggage
You know me
Never play the safe card, when I go I go hard
Now you know
That was the first time Sebastian made eye contact with Blaine and he didn't let up. Blaine didn't know how to react other than stand there and take it. He should've known that Sebastian was going to do something about their conversation sooner than later and it seemed that he had chosen this night. And this wasn't neglected by any of his friends considering they had also noticed how Sebastian avoided looking at Blaine specifically in previous shows that they had attended.
Wes commented, "You can't possibly tell me that nothing happened. This show is completely different from the one we saw last."
"Fine, you were right, happy?" Blaine snapped.
"Not in the least if things have gone bad again."
While Rachel decided to let her fiancé have it, "fine, you were right. He's different, at least from what I saw till now. I'd say he's even good."
"He's excellent Rachel."
"I won't go that far but yeah, that was a great performance."
After the first song, Sebastian took the mic to talk a bit considering this was his last show of the tour. "So this is it, huh? God, this has been a long time coming…"
From his little speech, Blaine was sure about what Sebastian had in mind. He was going to get answers to all his questions and he didn't know what to do about it.
 I hear your life is feeling pretty dull
You want something satisfying that'll make it fun
You wanna change but
Your mom and dad don't want to ever see you escape the norm
Stuck in a city unable to travel
You want your hair to unravel and
Feel it loosening after change
Society is placed on a path it chose ahead of you
"All that gel is sucking up all your brain cells B."
"And what do you propose I do, roam around like a crack addict? Nobody likes it like that."
"Stop thinking what everybody else wants, who gives a fuck if you don't gel for a day."
"Bas I tried, it was terrible."
"I'm not saying that don't do anything with them. Manage them but don't just gel it down like cement. At the end, it's your choice killer, do what you like or don't."
So you take a bad boy
Take a bad boy home
To see if he makes you feel special, maybe gives you that self-belief
Yeah you take a bad boy
Take a bad boy home
To see if he makes you feel special, makes you feel like a rebel in need
" You're the best I've ever had Bas."
" I know."
" Nobody can accuse of being modest huh?"
" Well, there's only one you've had besides me Killer, so it's true."
" I never thought I would get a motel room just to have sex when I have a perfectly good home or tying anybody in bed or playing hooky. You've turned me into a rebel Bas."
" I could say sorry but we both know I'd be lying."
" And you don't lie, ever. Though we need to get some cuffs maybe if we're going to do this again, your Dalton ties won't be able to take it again."
 You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me even when you're not around
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down
I'm latching on, babe, now I know what I have found
" I concede that you're making this a bit bearable."
" Just a bit?"
" Fine, a lot."
" You're the first person that I know Bas who doesn't like winters or snow."
" Only thing I like right now is you. Now if you're satisfied for the day, can we go?"
I feel we're close enough
Could I lock in your love?
I feel we're close enough
Could I lock in your love?
Now I've got you in my space
I won't let go of you
Got you shackled in my embrace
I'm latching on to you
" Where were you all my life Bas?"
" I should ask the same question B."
" You're my best friend Bas, you make me feel alive."
Song after song, it just felt like a movie going through Blaine's head. As if all the conversations and memories were going in a reel and he didn't know if he wanted it to stop or let it continue cause he knew how this was going to end. And he didn't know if he wanted to relive that.
[Please listen to Friends by Ed Sheeran]
 We're not, no we're not friends, nor have we ever been.
We just try to keep those secrets in a lie,
And if they find out, will it all go wrong?
And Heaven knows, no one wants it to.
" I don't want anyone to know."
" Fine by me."
So I could take the back road
But your eyes will lead me straight back home.
And if you know me like I know you
You should love me, you should know.
Friends just sleep in another bed,
And friends don't treat me like you do.
Well I know that there's a limit to everything,
But my friends won't love me like you.
No, my friends won't love me like you.
" The warblers suspect we've something going on."
" Tell them we're just friends. They're being too nosy."
" I agree but 'just friends' don't sleep in bed together killer."
We're not friends, we could be anything
If we try to keep those secrets safe
No one will find out if it all went wrong.
They'll never know what we've been through.
" Don't tell anyone please, I don't want Kurt to know."
" Don't worry killer, nobody will know. You've got your life back like you wanted and I'll just go back to mine. And who exactly am I going to tell."
"That's Brittany and Santana, what are they doing up there?" Rachel said as she saw the background video.
"They're in the video Rachel."
"In the background video at Sebastian Smythe's concert while he's singing."
"Good observation babe," Brody laughed.
Still reeling from her shock, Rachel exclaimed, "how is this happening Brody? If someone hated Sebastian with passion in high school besides Kurt, it was her."
Brody gave the obvious explanation; "maybe they sorted out their issues and are friends now. They must be here too enjoying the concert like we should instead of discussing the past."
"But Brody you don't understand how bad this is going to turn out once Kurt finds this."
While Rachel was still not sure with what was happening, everyone was complimenting Brittany and Santana for the amazing video. Jeff asked, "Is this why you guys were late today?"
Santana replied, "sort of, Seb just wanted to check if we were okay with the final edit of the video."
"You guys looked cute up there."
Brittany said with a smile, "thank you, Quinn. It felt like we were reliving high school, brought back memories."
On the other hand for Blaine, it was like having an out of body experience, like peeking in Sebastian's head, seeing everything from his eyes. When he got up in the morning, he didn't know this was what in store for him and he didn't know if he had the strength of surviving the bad parts that he knew are yet to come without breaking down right where he was standing.
 He's the deflated balloon wrapped 'round your gate,
Cut price to clear and past his sell by date,
He'll be the fool running through the church yard screaming out it's not too late,
And when he does,
I know that you'll wait,
" I don't understand what you see in him?"
" You don't understand love, Bas."
" He's just stringing you along while having the time of his life in New York."
He's the drunk man with bad breath coming on too strong,
But he's the beauty queen that strings your heart along,
And he'll answer every question in your new age magazine wrong,
But I know you love him strong,
" Does he even know that you didn't actually cheat on him like he thinks you did?"
" And you didn't even try to explain or something?"
" He ran away before I could."
" After you flew out to tell him in person that you made out with a stranger from Facebook after getting drunk because you thought you guys were broken up and were feeling lonely."
" But we were not broken up."
" Might as well have. Spending ten minutes on phone in two weeks sounds pretty broken up to me and I don't know relationships. Nobody is that busy, not even the president of America."
" I love him, Bas, he's it for me."
So I am leaving for there's nothing to believe in,
I'm just grieving for a love I never knew,
Please don't go misreading me,
I'm not saying you've been misleading me,
Just not needing me the way that I need you
He's the elephant in the room that never speaks,
But you dream about him every two weeks,
And I wouldn't know his name but you call it in your sleep,
Oh I know you love him deep
" Mr. Shue's wedding is on Valentine's day. I just don't want to go alone."
" Do you want me to come with you?"
So run back to him like you should,
I guess I always knew that you would,
For he's captured your heart in a way I never could,
So go on and love him good
" He will be there. We're supposed to sing together."
" Well good luck with that then."
 Almost heard you saying
You were finally free
What was always missing for you, baby
You'd found it in me
But you can't get to heaven
Half off the ground
Almost doesn't count
" Sometimes I wish we met in a different life, in a different time."
" I wish that too."
I can't keep on lovin' you
One foot outside the door
I hear a funny hesitation
Of a heart that's never really sure
Can't keep on tryin'
If you're looking for more
Than all that I could give you
Than what you came here for
"I get it, Blaine. You like him more than me, he is back to being your boyfriend. For some reason that I may never understand, you love him and you are happy with him so just leave me alone and go be happy with him. I won't come between you two ever again."
All evening Sebastian had kept on and off eye contact with Blaine in between songs as if he wanted to prove a point, which was very Sebastian thing to do.
 Got a Polaroid picture in my wallet
I'm not going to tear it no I'm not gonna spoil it
It's an unspoken heartbreak
A heartbroken handshake I'll take with me where I go
And three words on the tip of my tongue
Not to be spoken nor sung
Or whispered to anyone
Till I scream them at the top of my lungs again
Sebastian took few gulps of water as he said, "So a few days ago, someone asked me why I wrote certain songs on this album and why now? I didn't answer then at that time but I'm going to answer it now."
While Blaine didn't know how to process that this was happening right there, right now. Thad couldn't help himself, "who wants to bet that this is why Blaine came back earlier? He's on a roll tonight."
"Shut up," Quinn elbowed him.
"The songs I'm talking are about a secret…affair I had with someone. It ended pretty badly, at least for me. The reason why I wrote about it is just that I needed to put everything I was feeling on paper. Since it was a secret, nobody in my life knew about it, even years after it ended. I just wanted to I don't know, I guess validate everything. Like it wasn't just in my head and this was my way of doing it and that's all there to it. The person about whom these songs are has moved on with their life and I wanted the same for myself. I hope I've answered the question now," Sebastian said before starting the first notes on the piano for his next song.
[ (3x Please) listen to Already Gone by Sleeping At Last]
 Remember all the things we wanted
Now all the memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our face held high
It never would have worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out, I
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop
I want you to know
It doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's must go
" Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting Blaine."
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
Doesn't always make you want to cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
" I want your help with proposing Kurt."
" All those in favor of helping Blaine."
" We'll help you."
Know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go
" Can I hug you, just once?"
" I hope you've finally found what you were looking. Be happy B."
I want you to know
It doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's must go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
So I'm already gone
While tears falling from Blaine's eyes outright now making him question why did he ever ask Sebastian about this song, Brody was making his own observation, "after that, I'm not sure he could be as much of a monster as Kurt deems him to be."
"Maybe he is wrong," Rachel conceded wiping her own tears.
"He does like to exaggerate things according to his benefit so it wouldn't be beyond him and you did say that Sebastian apologized and never leaked any photo."
Across the venue, Nick was feeling pretty bad for Blaine after his admission a couple of days ago. This was the last thing he had expected to happen and all he could do was hold Blaine's hand to show his support.
 I gotta get outta here
This town's no longer fun
And I'm falling closer, falling closer
Closer to the sun
I gotta get outta here
Come kiss another face
'Cause it hurts too bad, it hurts too bad
And I don't like the taste
Y ou say it's over leaving me so far from sober
Now summer's cold and I lean on a stranger's shoulder
I walk the streets and hear heartbeats in city smolder
Without a trace, I'm under
And God knows I've tried
Looking for lovers at night
But each time I do
It only reminds me of you
It only reminds me of you
The whole night felt like as if Blaine had opened the Pandora's box and he didn't know how to handle the aftermath. While Sebastian didn't talk about the songs a lot but those videos and their sequence, they said enough. Everything was so precise and on point in telling a tale that nobody knew before. He didn't know if he should be angry with Sebastian for doing this to him like this or be sad that it took all these years for him to do this.
After that song, Blaine got a reprieve as Sebastian went back to his hit singles, which were more fun and didn't exactly relate to their shared past. This also brought a wave of relief among his friends considering they didn't know how to handle what was going on. Neither they could stop Sebastian nor they could really help Blaine since they didn't know all the details.
While his friends and everybody around him were enjoying, Blaine was thinking what was he going to do next. There were several times in the night when he wanted to shout out his love like a lot of people around him were doing but he knew that would be of no consequence.
As the night winded down, he had decided that he was going to do it tonight. There was no better place or time than this and the next song cemented his decision.
 You've walked a long road and you've worn it well
You stitched yourself up when you fell
Keep your memories in jars
Carry secrets in scars
Beneath your shell
You've seen some good days, and some bad ones too
You weave through fashion and trend
You've seen a sun rise on an ocean blue
You've seen it set for the dearest of friends
You found faith but you, chose to doubt it
You found love but you, left without it
And now you don't want, to talk about it
If the opening number perfectly described the old Sebastian, this song perfectly described the present Sebastian.
You traveled down through foreign lands
Touched mountain tops and golden sand
Seen pyramids and temples made of stone
Keep seashells in a cashmere scarf
A treasured book of photographs
In every single one, you stand-alone
You've seen Vienna and the Berlin Wall
As you watched the decades fall
The letters that you wrote never made it home
Your birthdays flew past like June
With Christmas days in hotel rooms
And new years eve with people you don't know
You built friendships but they, sailed without you
You never meant it and that's why, they doubt you
And they don't ever talk about you
You're older than you used to be
The mirror weaves a tapestry
Of lines that dance and shimmer 'round your eyes
You stare back at a man, forever holding out his hand
As if the answer's going to fall out of the sky
But the penny never dropped
And no man has ever stopped time from flying by.
"Blaine, where are you going?"
Blaine had a mission tonight. "Backstage. I need to go backstage."
"Blaine, where are you going?"
"Backstage. I need to go backstage."
Before anybody can stop him or slow him down, Blaine was rushing off to find the nearest backstage entrance. It took some time to find it as the crowd was on their feet with the encore starting just before but fortunately he was able to gain entrance by the time it was getting over. He asked one of the technicians, "Can you tell me where Sebastian is?"
"He just went to the lounge."
Fortunately, he was able to get the directions to the lounge from one of Tasha's assistant despite the utter chaos with everyone celebrating backstage and security dealing with the fans. Blaine didn't notice his sweaty palms or that he was a bit of breath when Oliver answered his knock, "Hey Blaine, what's up?"
"I need to see Sebastian."
Oliver told him, "Well he's in the shower. You can come in and wait."
"Thanks, Oliver. You guys were great tonight, far more than usual. You rose to the occasion."
While Blaine was waiting for Sebastian rest of his friends were entering backstage. Jeff said to no one in particular as they were rushing, "do you think this is it? He's going to tell him."
Thad replied, "I think so. Sebastian was on a roll tonight; he made a statement. I can see why Blaine's triggered."
Santana commented as they found Tasha, "those two need to stop dancing around each other because this is getting old now."
"Amen to that sister," Quinn agreed.
On the other hand, Brody had noticed her earlier as she had rushed across a few rows before him and Rachel, "Is that Quinn? Oh! Look Britt and Santana are here too." Rachel instantly perked up when she heard him mention seeing the girls so she tried to find them in the sea of people but she couldn't see any one of them. "Where?"
He pointed to them, "over there but they seem to be rushing somewhere."
"We need to follow them, I need some answers." Before Brody could deny he was being pulled in the direction he pointed. This was not how he had imagined his night to be going. "Can't we call them tomorrow or something? They don't look like they've time to clear your doubts Rach."
"No, we need to do this now. Look they're going backstage, we need to follow them."
"Rach, they look like they have access passes and we don't," he tried to reason but Rachel was determined. "We'll have to work something out then."
By the time the large group of people got to their destination, they were worried that they might've missed their beloved friends finally figuring it out. "Did we miss it?" Brittany asked as soon as the door was opened. "What?" Demetri asked looking confused. "So we didn't, thank god. Let us in," Santana moved him aside before he could answer as the others filled in the large room.
The sudden commotion and the presence of his friends surprised Blaine since he hadn't expected all of them to follow him here, "Guys, what are you…?" but before he could complete his question, Blaine heard the door to the inner dressing room open.
While normally Sebastian would take time to get properly dressed before coming out but he heard the ruckus outside so he stepped out only wearing jeans to find what was going outside. He hadn't even opened the door completely when he saw not only Blaine but rest of his friends waiting outside, "Hey guys, why is everyone…?" There was something in Blaine's eyes, his body language as he got up and walked to him that made Sebastian stop mid sentence and freeze his hand that was drying his hair with a towel. But it wasn't just Sebastian who was frozen mid-sentence everybody else in the room suddenly got very quiet as if they were waiting with a baited breath afraid that one wrong move or noise would change it all.
Here goes nothing – was all that was going in a loop in Blaine's mind as he walked up to Sebastian before he pulled him down a little and kissed him on the lips. If somebody would ask Blaine later that if he remembered everyone around them shouting and celebrating, he wouldn't be able to answer because in that moment he was trying to putting everything he felt for Sebastian in that very kiss. Amidst the catcalls and the whistling, Blaine noticed that Sebastian had still not moved and the towel he was holding had fallen on the ground, which made him break the kiss and look up to Sebastian.
Sebastian looked like a deer caught in headlights, which made Blaine backtrack. Clearly, he needed to do some explaining, as this wasn't how he had expected this to go down. Maybe hoping a kiss would sort it all out was too much of a wishful thinking.
Blaine gently pushed Sebastian inside and closed the door with his foot after he picked the fallen towel. Maybe words would be better received than the action. While Blaine was thinking how to go about, his friends had moved from cheering to discussing the bet they had placed on them. Andrew asked, "Does someone know who won the bet?"
Nick readily answered, "Cooper did. He guessed both the time and place right."
"That was a quick answer as if you knew this was going to happen," Thad noted.
He replied, "I had some inkling after I talked to Blaine when he came back so I checked."
"But you didn't change your bet." It was more of a statement than a question. To which Nick pointed out, "That would've been cheating."
Wes commented, "Cooper would be happy to find out that he was right."
"Yeah he will," David agreed.
Though across the door, rest of them were talking about them yet the two of them had yet to say anything. "This is the part where you react Sebastian." Blaine let a relieved breath when he saw a bit of confusion clear out from those green eyes. "You kissed me."
Before he could think Blaine heard himself drily say, "Excellent observation." Which made him want to slap himself when he saw anger coloring Sebastian eyes. "Was I being pranked or something cause it's not fucking funny."
"You think that was a joke?" Blaine sighed as his heart fell.
"Honestly, I don't know what to think," Sebastian said as ran fingers through his hairs either in frustration or anger, Blaine couldn't decide which as he sat down on the sofa near the lighted mirror. He could see that Sebastian was making stuff up in his mind by the minute and he needed to take control of the situation.
Blaine said as he offered the t-shirt sitting beside him to Sebastian to make him stop pacing in the small space, "First, wear this. You're already distracting enough as it is." Sebastian stopped and took the offered clothing before huffing out, "So?"
"I love you," Blaine said in a clear and firm voice.
He repeated as if he was talking to a toddler, "I…am…in…love…with…you…Sebastian Smythe. Was that clear enough?"
"Is this because of tonight's show cause you don't have to. You don't need to feel guilty or pity or… mmph." Blaine kisses Sebastian again to shut him up. One of his arms snaked to Sebastian's damp hair and other pulled him closer by his belt hoops. "Before you freak out again, no, this is not a joke or whatever you're cooking up in your brain, okay? You said your piece out there tonight and I listened to each and every word but now it's my turn." He could see confusion clearing out from Sebastian's eyes but turning into apprehension. "You know what, you wrote your songs, I have one too. Blaine said remembering the acoustic guitar that he had seen standing in the corner earlier. He took Sebastian's hand and directed him to sit on the chair as he himself sat down before striking the first note.
Time goes by
And I've been holding everything inside
But now I've got nothing left to hide
When I'm with you, oh, you
It took a couple of lines before his voice came clear and strong as he poured his heart out and it seemed to be making the impression that he was hoping for.
But I can see
How strong a man I'm gonna have to be
To do for you what comes so naturally
It's in the way you move
And all I want
Is a chance to prove
Show all I can do
Not only Blaine had an audience in front of him, his friends were listening to him through the door.
I believe in starting over
I can see that your heart is true
I believe in good things coming back to you
You're the light that lifts me higher
So bright, you guide me through
I believe in you
Blaine could feel a lump in his throat rising as he tried to put all he his feelings in the song. His voice was cracking yet he pushed through with a smile.
And I don't mind
If you want to hold onto me tight
You don't have to sleep alone tonight
If you don't want to
And all I want
Is to know you're near
You're all I need here
While Blaine was pouring his heart out, tears had welled up in Sebastian's eyes, as this was the last thing he had expected to happen tonight. Here he was thinking that he was closing this whole chapter of his life and suddenly Blaine threw a curveball yet again.
I believe in starting over
I can see that your heart is true
I believe in good things coming back to you
You're the light that lifts me higher
So bright, you guide me through
I believe in you
Sebastian said in a choked up voice once Blaine finished his song, "Blaine..."
But Blaine cut in between as he took Sebastian's hands in his, "No, just let me say this first. When I'm not around you, I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how good you look when you smile, how much I love your laugh. I replay our conversations, laughing at funny things you said or did and one thing I know is that no one else has ever made me happier than you. You've always done that Sebastian. And there are million other things that make me fall in love with you. I love you, Bas, I think I've loved you this whole time." Sebastian had been so focused on what was Blaine saying that he hadn't noticed when he had come to kneel in front him.
Blaine's heart was in his mouth as he waited for Sebastian to say something. He looked marvelous with his glittering eyes and light that was getting cast from the bulbs around the mirrors. He could feel the buzz in his ears; it felt like hours before Sebastian finally said, "You called me Bas, again."
This was not what Blaine had expected as a reply to his admission of love but then again Sebastian had proved to be predictable in his unpredictability tonight more so than ever. So he could only ask, "again?"
"You did it earlier that day in the hotel."
Clearly, he hadn't noticed his slip up before so he gently asked brushing the tear that had fallen down Sebastian's cheek. "Is that going to be a problem?" Blaine could see that his question lit up an internal discussion in Sebastian mind but before he knew Blaine was being kissed. For a split second he froze but then he relaxed as his brain processed what was happening and his arms wound around Sebastian's neck pulling him down towards him. In turn one of Sebastian's palm went to Blaine's nape and other to his back.
This kiss reminded them of their first kiss that they had years ago in the dark in front of Scandals that changed everything but this time, it was much more. While that one was full of pent of tension, attraction, and passion; this kiss was all that and everything more. It was full of love, promise, and all good things.
They didn't even know for how long they kissed before they broke and smiled at each other. "I don't even know what the hell I'm doing anymore," Sebastian remarked as he gazed in Blaine's shining eyes.
"Don't worry I know enough for both of us," Blaine replied as he cupped Sebastian's cheek and brushed it gently before leaning in for another kiss. "I'm sorry for fucking everything up before but I'm gonna do it right this time, I promise Bas."
"It's okay," Sebastian said with a smile that was solely reserved for Blaine as he brushed the tears that had fallen from Blaine's eyes that were full of yearning for forgiveness and second chance.
If somebody hadn't knocked on the door they wouldn't have remembered where they were. Sebastian shouted to ask, "Who's it?"
"Tasha. Sorry guys but Sebastian, you need to leave soon."
"Just a second," he replied as he looked at Blaine.
Blaine told him, "it's okay; we can talk later." Sebastian suggested, "or you could come with me…?"
"No, this is your time to celebrate with your family. I'll go out and handle everyone else. Call you later, okay?" Blaine reasoned. "Okay," Sebastian agreed before diving in for another kiss as Blaine opened the door and stepped out leaving him behind.
He immediately went to the restroom and washed his face of all the remnants of tears he had shed earlier before looking at the mirror. It was clear that he was still processing what just happened but Sebastian had to accept that the man he was seeing in the mirror was not the man he saw earlier. His lips looked well kissed, his hairs were a different story all together but most importantly his face looked different yet same at the time. He wanted to take off his shirt and check if there were actual sear marks where Blaine had touched him earlier. In a matter of minutes, Blaine had changed his life yet again, thrown all the conditioning that he had done on his mind out of the window. Yet at the same time he was feeling okay about it, better yet, he was happy about it. He said looking at himself, "this is good, right? This is what I wanted for so long, isn't it?"
While Sebastian was processing the turn of events, Blaine had stepped out to an audience who had been waiting patiently for a while now. "So?"
"We'll talk later," Blaine, told them, as he didn't want to discuss it there. But Trent asked not able to wait any longer, "just tell us if you two are…?"
Blaine told him as he moved them along, "yes we are. Now, let's go and get dinner, I'll answer all your questions there."
"What about Seb?" Dave asked noticing that Sebastian hadn't come out yet but before Blaine could answer, Sebastian came out. There was a round of cheer as everyone congratulated him before Odessa signaled that they had to leave as people were waiting for them. He said before rushing off, "Sorry guys, gotta dash."
As their large group was exiting the backstage, Brittany heard her name getting called. She stopped Quinn and Santana to look around to see who was calling their names and to their surprise, they saw Rachel and Brody standing by the security guy who looked a bit miffed.
Rachel asked as they walked up to them, "Hey guys, what are you doing here?"
"Hey Rachel, we could ask you the same thing. Sebastian Smythe's concert was the last place I expected you to be."
Brody supplied, "actually I surprised and dragged her here." But before any one of the three girls could reply, Rachel was on in almost an accusing tone. "I saw the video, I didn't know you and Britt were in touch with him after what happened in high school."
"Sebastian is our friend," Brittany told her with a confident smile.
"See I told you," Brody said which fuelled Rachel into a strop, which caught attention from a few people passing by. "I'm not sure I understand. How is this happening? Last I knew he threw a slushy at Santana and was an evil warbler and now you guys are friends. Next, I'll find that Blaine is here too and he's in love with him."
While Blaine hadn't heard the last of Rachel's tirade but he had heard her voice and came to investigate, "Rachel, Brody, what are you guys doing here?" That ended up sending her into an almost mini- meltdown. "Oh my god! This is not happening."
Santana chuckled, "If this wasn't getting entertaining by the minute, I would ask her to calm down."
"What's going on?" Blaine asked the others present there and then tried to calm her down, "Rachel it's okay; whatever you're thinking, it's not a big deal."
"If this is how she's reacting, just imagine how Lady Hummel's reaction will be when he finds out," Santana commented as Hunter came to see what was holding them up. "Guys, can we take this somewhere else? This is not the place or time for whatever this is."
"Hunter's right. Rachel, Brody, we're going out for dinner so if you guys want to join us; you're welcome," Blaine suggested to which Rachel readily agreed to find out all the answers straight from the source. "Guess we're having dinner," Brody noted as they followed the girls and Hunter.
Song: I Believe in You – Michael Bublé
"So, let me get this right. You're telling me that you guys have been friends all this time."
"Yes." Santana shrugged at Rachel's question looking disinterestedly at her nails while Brittany nodded with a smile. Their large group plus Rachel and Brody were sitting in a private room where Blaine had just told the newcomers the cliff notes version of what had been going on this summer with the help of Santana's ongoing commentary. It was more for Rachel's benefit than Brody's considering he was just going with the flow.
"Okay. And you were in this city and are friends with him too?" Rachel then proceeded to look at David Karofsky who to her much shock was also a part of the interesting group of people she found tonight.
"Yes but I moved here only two years ago," Dave answered her question which seemed to appease Rachel for the time being before she moved on to point at the group of former warblers. "And he was not in touch with you guys since high school?" She received a unanimous yes with some underlying emotion that Rachel decided not to dig since she didn't know the whole story.
She turned to her right where Blaine was sitting and asked gently, "Not even you?"
"Yes." This was the first time she'd seen the smile that Blaine was sporting all night fade away which made her pause. There was no trace of any lie in Blaine's eyes and it made her question everything Kurt had told her about Blaine's involvement with Sebastian. Clearly, there was another side of the whole story that she was completely unaware of which seemed to be far more truthful than whatever her best friend had fed her but right now it wasn't the time to think about it.
"But now everyone is friends and you love him?" Rachel asked folding her arms and leaning back in her chair.
"Yes," Blaine answered in a clear confident voice with his smile back on place.
While almost everybody else was letting Rachel come on board about all the revelations on her own speed, Santana cut to the chase to know if there was going to be another meltdown. "And he kissed him in front of us earlier. Is that going to be a problem, Berry?"
But instead of answering Santana Rachel asked turning to Blaine, "can I talk to you, alone?"
While Blaine was walking away with Rachel to find some place alone to talk, Sebastian was in the car with his mother on their way to his grandparents' home for the 'surprise' celebration party.
"You look happy" Annalise, his mother observed from the thousand megawatt smile he was wearing.
Sebastian shrugged seeing no point in denying, "that's because I am."
"This is a different kind of happy," his mother commented a few moments later and Sebastian had to give to her for having excellent intuitions, which were further proved by her next question. "Is it something to do with Blaine's backstage visit? Something happened between you two."
Considering it was more of a statement than a question, Sebastian agreed, "It did."
"Sebastian…" she sighed.
"Not that way, mom. We talked, he said some things and…" Though he didn't complete his sentence, Annalise understood what had happened. She had been expecting it for some time. "Seb, baby I know that Blaine is a good person but I worry that"
But before she could complete, Sebastian cut in, "Mom, you don't need to worry. You know I can take care of myself."
"I know but I'll always worry because I'm your mom and I don't want you to get your heart broken again." Annalise took Sebastian's hands in one of hers and other softly touched his hair as she continued, "what I was saying before you interrupted me is that if you're going to be with him, I just want you to make smart decisions this time."
Though Sebastian would've preferred to not have this conversation this soon, he could see where his mother concerns were coming from given the past so he agreed but was far more grateful that they had reached their destination and the conversation could end for now.
On the other side of the city, Rachel was trying to clear up her worries about Sebastian with Blaine. "Are you sure about him? Does he even love you back?"
"Rachel, I just told him tonight after the show. We didn't get time to talk much as he had to go, but I'm sure of how I feel about him. He just gets me in a way nobody else does, he's different with me; he always was," Blaine sighed trying to make her understand. And it seemed that his statement hit home as she found whatever she was searching in his eyes.
"You really love him?" Rachel commented in a gentle tone, which made Blaine nod and look down.
"Then it'll be okay. He'll be an idiot if he doesn't love you back."
"You don't know the whole story, Rach."
Blaine's subdued demeanor made Rachel realize how deep Blaine already was and she wanted his smile back. "If those songs were about you then you don't need to worry. That kind of love doesn't go away."
While Blaine didn't comment on Rachel's observation, he did make one of his own. "You're taking this way better than I ever expected."
"I think having heard him before finding about everything is a big deciding factor. What I saw earlier, that doesn't come artificially Blaine. I can see what you say about him being different." As easily Rachel could question Blaine's feelings she didn't want to lose him again. "If he's honestly what you want, I can't really say much about it, can I? You know him better than I do."
"High school Rachel would've blown a gasket and called the whole McKinley troops by now."
"She needed to grow up and she would've never gone to today's concert by any chance," she replied with a smile.
"Yeah, she wouldn't."
"I'm happy for you Tony. You look like you've got everything together for you." the use of that nickname brought a smile to his face before he replied, "Almost everything Maria." Blaine pointed out as they hugged each other.
"Don't worry, the last thing will fall into its place too. Give it time," Rachel told him before taking his hand. "Now come on, let's go back."
Santana asked when they got back, "so, all sorted, Hobbit twins?"
"Yes it is Santana," Rachel told her before taking her seat again. After that, the conversation resumed and ran a gamut of topics. There was some discussion about the bet that had been going on among the group and apparently Blaine's elder brother Cooper was the winner.
Brody seemed to fit right in the eclectic group with his own brand of sarcasm and humor and it didn't feel like they hadn't just met. Everything Kurt had said about the warblers seemed to just a bunch of lies. Not only they weren't uptight, they weren't egotistical, as he had told them many times.
Brody asked remembering one of Kurt's late night visit a month before, "One thing I don't get is why Kurt believes Blaine is in love with a man he met on vacation?"
"That would be my doing," Thad smugly rose his hand.
"And technically it's true," Santana supplied.
Rachel didn't understand, "Explain."
But before anybody could launch into the story, Blaine turned to her, "Rachel I know that he's your best friend but I don't want him to know just yet about all this. He hates Sebastian with a passion and I don't want him ruining anything before it's even started."
Brody said when he saw Rachel not responding promptly, "Of course Blaine, we're not going to say anything to him. Right, Rach?"
"But he's bound to find out pretty soon considering how Sebastian's comings and goings are reported," she pointed out.
"And we'll deal with that when that happens but don't tell him just yet. He's finally stopped stalking me, I want to keep the peace for as long as I can considering one can only imagine how he'll blow off when he'll find out his biggest nightmare has come true," Blaine told them.
Sophia who turned out to be Wes's girlfriend asked, "Why is Kurt even a topic of discussion? You two have been separated for over a year now and divorced for more than a half."
"Tell that to him. He's been stalking these guys and me; trying to talk and wanting to reconcile which I absolutely don't want." Blaine told the group considering not everybody knew what was going on. "So, Thad and Hunter fed him with a bogus story about how I've already moved on. I called him a few days ago to verify it and he agreed to stop harassing everyone."
Rachel was shocked to hear that. "I didn't know that he was being that bad. You should've told me, Blaine."
"Honestly I didn't think it would work and you guys are so close, I didn't want to put you in a position."
"Don't worry, I won't tell him cause it's not my place to tell," she told him.
Brody agreed too, "and neither will I."
"Thank you, both of you."
By the time night was ending, Brody and Rachel had mixed right in and new friendships had been forged. It was nice to find a chill group of people who weren't their 'work' friends and were the same age group as them. Rachel said as they stood out on the curb, "It was nice catching up with you Blaine and meeting all your new and old friends."
"Yeah, they seem like a cool bunch. Not how we were told they'd be," Brody added in.
Blaine was happy that while years later, his friends from both the schools had been able to hang out and have a great time together. "I'm glad you could judge them for yourselves and it was nice catching up with you two."
"So, are you going to his place?" Rachel asked.
"No, his family is in town. They're celebrating."
"Tomorrow then," she suggested.
Blaine told her, "He's off for a well-deserved vacation soon, but I'm sure we'll talk sooner than later."
"You do that and maybe someday we can have a double-date."
"I'll see what I can do," Blaine told her with a smile as they parted when Brody flagged down a cab.
Brody asked with a brow arched, "double date huh? That's a one-eighty from the tune you were singing before."
Rachel just shrugged, "What can I say, I had a change of heart. When we stepped out of our apartment earlier, the last thing I expected to have was a mini McKinley reunion. Tonight has been a revelation, on many fronts."
"And you haven't even met the man of the hour."
"I heard enough about him from various sources, I can give him a second chance based on that, at least for Blaine."
"You really miss Blaine, hm?" he asked gently seeing the changed in Rachel's face.
"I do. It broke my heart when he distanced himself from us over the years and then during their divorce, I just lost him. If I've to give Sebastian a second chance to have Blaine back in my life, I'll happily do it."
"So this isn't about Sebastian, it's about Blaine."
"Not completely. I don't know if you noticed it or not, Blaine looked genuinely happy and content for the first time in a long time. He looked a lot like the warbler that I first met. Happy, confident, and completely sure of himself. If Sebastian is the reason for it then, I'll try to be all for it. He can't be that bad, can he?"
"No, I don't think so."
"I just hope that Kurt doesn't ruin anything for Blaine when he finds out about them. I honestly didn't know that he was being that bad. Stalking, really?" Talking about Kurt was bringing up the pent up anger that she had been able to mask earlier. He had not only fed her countless lies, he had been manipulating her too.
"I know. We just need to try to be there for both of them in equal capacity so that you don't loose Blaine again because I don't think he's going to give up or ruin it with Sebastian this time at any cost."
"I agree," Rachel solemnly agreed.
While his friends were going back to their places after the lovely dinner, Sebastian was outside on his grandparents' terrace alone. All night he had been dissecting the events that had occurred earlier once he came down from the high of Blaine's confession and it had caught somebody's eyes.
"What are you doing out here all alone and before you lie, I noticed that you were in your own world during the whole dinner. So what's on your mind?" Odessa asked as she stepped out.
For the longest time, he didn't reply waiting for her to take a hint that he didn't feel like talking and leave but all Sebastian got in return was an eyebrow raised and a hand on the hip from her.
"Blaine told me that he loves me." If there weren't a silence around them, she wouldn't have heard him.
"Why do you sound so surprised? Or… like you don't believe him."
Sebastian grunted as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, "I don't know what to believe right now or even to do next… never mind. Let's go inside."
"No, we need to talk before you go and ruin a good thing."
"D please, not here," Sebastian almost pleaded.
But Odessa wasn't having it, she ordered, "No right here; talk, now."
For a moment she thought Sebastian would leave as he paced a couple of times but it looked like he had been getting his thoughts in order as he told her all that was going through his mind, "… and everything just feels so redundant now. What was the point of these last six years when we could've gotten to the same place a lot easier back then?"
She had to take some time to think her answer. "You're not the same people you were before, maybe that's the point. Maybe that Blaine wasn't right for that Sebastian but the present one is."
"How can you be so sure about that?"
"I'm not but you have a chance to find that out. And it's not like you don't love him. We both know that you never really stopped loving him." Odessa pointed out. While she could've helped Sebastian to sort out what was going on in his mind but she believed it was his journey to make so she left after giving him the final advice. "Talk, fight, but at least resolve whatever that is going in your head before you dissect everything to death. And if it's worth it, take a leap."
It was well past midnight when Blaine's phone chimed with an incoming message, which turned out to be from Sebastian. Are you sleeping? – It read which brought a smile on his face, as he replied- no, not yet :) What up? There was an immediate reply.
Sebastian: I'm at your building
It was a surprise but a welcome one. He quickly sent a reply saying he was coming down, as he got dressed before quietly locking up without waking anybody else sleeping in the apartment. When he got down, there was a car waiting at the curb and he knocked on the window.
Blaine said when the window was rolled down, "Hey Bas, wanna come…?" But there was something he saw in Sebastian's expression that made Blaine's heart fall to his stomach and stop mid-sentence.
"You've changed your mind," he noted.
Please leave at least a couple words in the comments so that I at least know if you're liking it so far or hating it. Even kudos will do :)
"Can we talk somewhere, alone?" Sebastian asked instead of replying to Blaine's statement. His face said that he was here for business, which filled Blaine with dread as nothing ever good comes out when somebody asks to 'talk'.
"We could go to my room?" Blaine sighed sliding his hands into his pockets looking anywhere but at Sebastian.
"What about Jeff and Nick? I don't want anybody interrupting us."
It took Blaine a beat to understand that Sebastian didn't want to be seen by anybody, not even his friends. Clearly, he had changed his mind and he was trying to have privacy while he told him that. "There's always the roof. We can go there," Blaine suggested looking down.
"Sure." Sebastian agreed as they walked inside the building to the elevator.
"What happened Bas? Did I do something to change your mind?"
"Let's just get to the roof."
As the elevator took them to the roof, Blaine could see how tightly Sebastian was coiled as he was putting his thoughts together. For the first time, he didn't want to be in the same space as Sebastian as he knew what was waiting for him once they'd reach their destination.
Both of the boys were so deep in thought that they didn't notice when the doors opened and they reached their destination. Blaine walked out first trying to be brave and opened the door to the roof but he couldn't take the sick anticipation any longer, "we're here, alone now. Now can you tell me what happened since I last saw you that made you change your mind?"
It was a beautiful night; the weather was good, even the moon looked clear and beautiful, Sebastian thought as he looked around. But that's not what he was here for. His eyes went back to Blaine who looked like he was waiting for the bad news so he started with that first, "I have not changed my mind."
"Yet," Blaine supplied looking defeated.
Sebastian tried again, "I'm just trying to figure out if I've made the right decision. Or not."
"I love you, Bas," Blaine cut in. On any other day, his discerning eyes, and his admission would've undone Sebastian but this needed to be done.
"As good it is to hear that, you've to see here Blaine," Sebastian had to stop to take a long cleansing breath trying to keep his emotions in check before continuing. "When it comes to you, I become this impulsive person who acts first and thinks second. That goes around making regrettable decisions, throwing spiked slushies, getting into secret arrangements and what not. And it…"
"Do you regret kissing me earlier? Was that one of your regrettable decisions too?" Blaine asked desperately.
"That's not the point here."
"Then what is?"
"After I left, I couldn't stop thinking about everything you said," Sebastian told him. "They were all the right words, the perfect words even. Words that I craved to hear from you for so long, till I had to forcefully stop myself from wanting that."
"I meant each and everything that I said tonight. Each and every word."
"If that's true then, answer this for me. If I was the one who makes you the happiest; if I've always been the one that does that, then why the fuck did you choose Kurt back then? You knew I was there, I did everything you wanted and I… I was fucking THERE."
Blaine wanted to say yes, yes he knew that Sebastian was there and that he accepts that he took him for granted. He wanted to tell him the whole sordid workings of his insecure teenage mind. He knew he would've to answer for his decisions someday soon but he didn't expect it to happen tonight. He wasn't ready for it. "I… I don't know." He dropped his head in shame and waited for Sebastian to walk away while cursing himself for being a coward yet again.
But Sebastian didn't walk away, not yet, he replied which made Blaine lift his face up. He knew his words were going to be cutting yet he didn't back down. "You know what Blaine, on any other day your pretty words would've been enough but not this day, not tonight. Today I was going to be done with this, once and for all. So, I need answers from you if you want to do this now. You don't get to swoop in right where you left me and expect everything's going to fall in place like you want. You said you think you loved me all this time then where were you till now? Why didn't you come and find me sooner? What was the point of these last six years, of all this heartbreak and the anguish Blaine?"
When Blaine didn't answer or look up, he continued, "when you can answer my questions, maybe then we can think of moving forward."
"Maybe?" his heart sunk further at the qualifier.
"Yes, maybe. Leave me at least this last illusion of self-preservation, if nothing else." Sebastian said before walking back to the door.
"Bas." The name was a prayer on his lips.
"God Blaine, you're killing me. I don't think you understand how debased I feel right now and I can't do this, not again." Blaine could see the tears roll down the other man's face for the second time this night. Sebastian didn't make an effort to brush them away before turning back to leave again.
He was almost at the door when he heard Blaine speak softly, "I didn't want to take a risk and be left with nothing at the end." It made Sebastian stop and turn to look back.
"I was there. I was always there, whenever however you needed me."
"I know, I know," Blaine said as he brushed away his own tears clumsily. "I was so insecure about myself that I never thought I could keep your attention, your interest for long. That once you found somebody more interesting and better than me, you'd move on and I'd be left with no one."
"You thought I was that shallow?"
"No Bas, it wasn't about what I thought of you. It was about what I thought of myself." He looked at the ground not able to look at Sebastian again. "As soon as Kurt got here, he created his own world, and I lost him to it. So I thought one day, the same will happen with you. And after all the drama when Kurt wanted to give me another chance, in that moment I thought that was it." Blaine explained trying to make Sebastian understand. "Honestly, it wasn't a choice between you or Kurt. The choice was between who deserved me."
"And you thought I didn't deserve you?" Sebastian asked feeling insulted.
"It's exactly the opposite of what I thought. All that time you kept on telling me that I was too good for Kurt, I wish somebody would've told you that you were/are too good for me. You deserved somebody who wouldn't ask you to be a secret, who didn't treat you like an option or a whim like I did. Someone who put you as a priority, who was loyal to you, who appreciated you the way you were supposed to be. I thought I was doing the right thing, Bas, by letting you get on with your life and stop wasting your time on me. I never let myself for once think that you were taking it seriously, that it meant more to you than you let on. You had the world at your feet, you could get anyone that you wanted."
Blaine heard Sebastian snort so he asked, "what?"
"Can you see the irony of that statement? Right now I don't have even a single person that I truly ever wanted."
He didn't know how to respond to that other than, "I'm sorry."
For the longest time when Sebastian didn't say anything, Blaine understood that it was too late. He had fucked up and he was going to lose everything before he even had it.
Meanwhile, Sebastian was processing everything, as he couldn't wrap his mind around what Blaine just told him. He could understand Blaine's insecurities, his fear of abandonment as a reason; even his cluelessness about Sebastian's feelings but there was something he couldn't accept. "I get everything else but what I don't get is who were you to decide what I deserved or not? Maybe what you said is true but I still don't believe that you did what you did because you wanted better for me. I don't accept that."
"Bas, it may not have started that way but after that day at the café, I did realize how difficult I made things for you, how I was hurting you by playing with your emotions and leading you on. I had no business involving you in my life when I knew I was not over Kurt and that's the truth. And then every time when I felt like I had made the wrong decision, that night in Lima Bean would come in my mind and I'd remember that I couldn't take your chance away at moving on without all my drama. Maybe it was me trying to reduce my guilt or something else but in my own fucked up way, I wanted you to have a chance at moving on and finding somebody that was worthy of you." Blaine saw Sebastian's stance melting a little so he tried again. "I never wanted to hurt you; you were my best friend. I loved you and there were a million moments in these last six years when all I wanted was to get on a plane and go search for you. You have to believe me."
"Then why didn't you?"
"I didn't think you'd want to see me after all that I did." That spouted off a dry laugh from Sebastian's mouth before he could stop it. "That is the farthest thing from the truth."
He told Blaine, "When I saw you again that day at my apartment, I knew I was done. And then when you said that you just want to be friends again, I couldn't stop myself for long even though I knew we were doomed from the very start." He looked away for a moment collecting himself again. "There's something about you that I can't resist despite my best judgments so as pathetic as that sounds, anytime you would've shown up, I would've loved to see you."
They both sat there looking at the sky for a long time before Blaine concluded, "I've made a mess of everything."
"Not just you, we both did," Sebastian said looking at him.
They were still reeling as the conversation had taken a lot out of both of them. They sat there for what felt like hours when Blaine said reminiscing, "you weren't supposed to go away."
"Well, you weren't supposed to sleep with me," Sebastian bite back. Blaine was relieved for the playful undertone in Sebastian's response.
So he replied with a smile, "Well then you shouldn't have been…been…"
"What?" Sebastian prompted with a bit of a smirk as Blaine tried to find his words.
"You," Blaine decided to go with that.
"What does that even mean?"
"You know what it means," Blaine replied with a smile.
While Sebastian was grateful for the break, he knew he needed to sort out the source of his anger if he wanted to have any kind of romantic relationship with Blaine. "I don't know what you think of me but you seem to have put me on this pedestal that I'm not worthy of like I'm some sort of hero. If anything, I'm the anti-hero. I did terrible things to you and your friends and." But Blaine interrupted him; "I forgave you a long time ago for that Bas."
Instead of replying to that, Sebastian decided to get to the main issue that had compelled him into doing what he did tonight at the show; that made him write those songs in the first place. "And what I was saying is that you don't get to make decisions for me. You never had the right to decide what I felt for you, how much I felt for you. I was fine with everything, the rejection, even your decision of getting back with Kurt. But what hurt me the most is that you knew how difficult it was for me to open up to anybody but I told you as much as I could yet you point blank refused to acknowledge I could feel more for you than just another notch in my bedpost."
Sebastian's declaration cut Blaine in half, tears welling up in his eyes again as he recalled the exact words he had said to him. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I will always regret saying that to you." when Sebastian didn't say anything back, Blaine took his hand and said, "I know when one says the same words, again and again, they lose all their meaning. They become just words but I really am sorry for every wrong decision that I made when it came to you. You were there for me when no one was. You understood me in the way I wanted you to and instead of being thankful for that I discarded whatever you had to say. I had no business for saying all the awful things that I said. I didn't realize how insulting and hurtful my words and actions were at that time but I do now. I'd understand if you couldn't forgive me but I truly am sorry for everything."
"I know," Sebastian said softly before taking his hand away slowly and looking away not able to stand the intensity of Blaine's eyes. His simmering anger on the situation had melted already and he knew the ball was in his court now. There was nothing he or Blaine could do to change what had already happened. The only thing they could do was to actually move on, learn from their mistakes, and not repeat them.
When he had decided to come to Blaine's, he hadn't planned what would happen after the discussion and while he was contemplating in his head, he noticed that Blaine was waiting for him to respond. "The moon looks beautiful tonight," He said awkwardly making Blaine laugh at the choice of the conversation starter.
"I thought the moon was just another rock," Blaine replied in a playful tone grateful for the respite.
"Well, it is." Sebastian was thankful that Blaine was smiling now after the heavy conversation they just had. "You remembered that."
"How could I forget a half an hour speech about the absurdness of any relationship between outer space and romance? That was a great night."
"I thought you were drunk."
"Not enough to not remember that. You were quite passionate about it," Blaine told him before looking away to watch the moon.
While they were happy to sit in silence just looking around, Sebastian prompted the obvious question that was on both of their minds, "So? What now?"
Blaine told him, "I still love you and I do want another chance with you. Whatever time that was wasted, whoever's fault it was though, it was majorly mine. I want to get it right this time."
This time Sebastian didn't hesitate, he was sure of his answer which resonated in his clear voice. "We can give each other another chance."
And Blaine got the hint, "Hi, I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson."
"Hi, Blaine. Sebastian Smythe," Sebastian replied playing along with a full-blown smile instead of a smirk that he had in the past.
"I'd like to take you out on a date."
Blaine forwardness brought a grin to Sebastian's face as his brow arched when asked, "You would?"
"Mhmm" Blaine nodded similar to a puppy making him question how can someone be that sexy and cute at the same time.
"Do you normally ask anyone you just met out on a date or…?"
"Only the ones that I really like."
"Is that so?" Sebastian challenged.
"Well I like a man who knows what he wants so, I'd love to go out on a date with you."
Sebastian laughed at Blaine's enthusiasm, so he tried to push a little continuing their banter. "I want to kiss you."
"Not till after the first date darling."
"I didn't think you'd be the one to stick to the rules."
"Sometimes rules can be fun," Sebastian replied with a twinkle in his eyes making Blaine narrow his eyes. "When exactly?"
"When they create anticipation, gives us a chance to push boundaries."
"I thinking I'm liking you a lot more by the second Sebastian."
"That means you got a good taste Blaine," Sebastian flirted back. Blaine agreed in a tone making them both dissolve in laughter, "That I do."
Though he was happy that they could still banter and their flirting abilities were not hampered after the night they had, Sebastian looked around and realized the lateness of the hour. "I should leave and let you sleep. It's already so late and."
"Stay," Blaine cut in and asked.
"Blaine, don't you think a…"
He reasoned before Sebastian could complete, "We'll just sleep. It's already so late, your car's gone, and I don't want to be alone." Blaine felt guilty for throwing in the last one and for a moment he thought that Sebastian would decline but then he heard. "Okay."
"Great!" Blaine exclaimed in a way that felt a bit too much but he was happy. The night had gone like a rollercoaster ride and for a second he thought all was going to be lost but it wasn't and Sebastian's next words made him feel much lighter.
"I forgive you."
Tell me how you like it or if not in the comments. THANK YOU :)
When Blaine woke up next morning, his mind took a moment to process that there was someone else sleeping beside him in his bed, in his room and it brought a dorky smile on his face. Sebastian looked like he belonged there in his clothes, with his lips slightly open, completely relaxed deep in sleep; it filled him with immense joy all over again.
As he lay there simply looking not wanting to disturb the scene in front of him in any way, his thoughts went to the previous night. If he had to describe last night, in short; he'd say it was cathartic, absolutely necessary but worth it, every single second of it. The three words that he got to hear at the end might not have been his first choice but they were far more important than the other 'three little words.'
The journey to this point had been longer than it should've been, full of misunderstandings and missed opportunities. But they were here now, all sorted out for a start over. So, he was going to give his honest shot at it because messing this up was not an option.
A furry head pulled him out of his thoughts when he saw someone else was up. He whispered not wanting to wake Sebastian up, "Hey Z, wanna go for a walk?" Zeus looked at Sebastian as if he wanted permission so Blaine tried again, "let him sleep, huh bud. Come on, it's going to be just us two."
As silently as he possibly could, he slipped out of the bed, went to the bathroom, dressed up, and left a note stating where he was. The sigh of relief he let out at successfully getting out of the room without waking Sebastian was worth almost stubbing his toe. He deserved to sleep in as his day had started far earlier than any of them and hadn't ended till three in the morning today.
The silence of rest of the apartment indicated that he was the only one who was awake and moving so Blaine locked behind him quietly and left.
As he walking casually Blaine realized that for the first time in forever, he was feeling content yet full of hope. He had a spring in his step that couldn't be hidden. And what made him happier was that at this particular point in time, he was the best version of himself he had ever been. Whether it was Sebastian's influence or his own doing, he felt confident and welcoming for whatever the future might bring. He'd know that he did the best he could and whatever happens happens.
After a long walk around the block during which he planned his very first date with Sebastian and Zeus smelled each and every flower in the curb while doing his business, they walked to the little British gourmet store across the road in front of his building and picked up some freshly baked goodies for breakfast before going back home.
He was making eggs when Jeff and Alice came. "Morning Bro. Oh! Good, you made coffee and foo… wait a second." Jeff stopped mid-sentence when he spotted Zeus sitting on the kitchen floor. "Is Sebastian here too?"
"He's still sleeping. Coffee and breakfast are ready; grab a plate. I made enough for everybody."
Alice commented, "That sounded like a diversion."
"Ooh, did you two hook up after we went to bed?" Jeff asked getting intrigued and excited. Blaine had to roll his eyes at their antics. "You guys have way too much unhealthy interest in us. And no, we did not hook up."
"Who hooked up?" Nick asked listening to the tail end of the conversation as he came out with Chloe. At which Blaine exclaimed, "Nobody did. Geez, see this is what I'm talking about."
"Sebastian is sleeping in Blaine's room," Jeff announced far more excitedly than what was necessary, at least that's what Blaine thought.
"Well not anymore," Chloe noted on the appearance of the only person who was left to the party looking a tad confused and still sleepy.
Nick said, "Hey Seb, didn't expect to see you here. Good morning."
Sebastian, his Sebastian, was still draped against the wooden frame; all long limbs in Blaine's shorts and stretches of pale skin. He gave Blaine a soft smile, with a rare twinkle of genuine happiness in his green eyes. Blaine was 0.2 seconds away from running across the room wanting to touch him immediately like some touch-starved idiot, but Zeus solved his moral conflict by demanding (leaving zero room for arguments) for Sebastian's attention.
"Blaine made breakfast," Jeff declared.
Sebastian sighed fondly, and flashed Blaine one last grin, before walking to the kitchen.
Blaine blinked rapidly at the dark wood. Then he shook his head. Looked at the dog again. Shook his head again. A gleeful noise escaped his lips without his permission. This felt absurd, absolutely insane! Then again, everything about today felt absurd and insane, but that made it so bloody wonderful. Who would have thought – who would have dreamed? – That they'd ever find themselves in a situation like this.
The very Sebastian Smythe was in his kitchen, all sleep-mussed and hair askew plating up breakfast for himself.
And everything felt fine. No scratch that, better than fine, everything was brilliant! He would be able to be with Sebastian and to show him every single day for the rest of his life (as far as Blaine was concerned) how thankful he was, how happy he made him, and how much he loved this unbelievable man.
Blaine couldn't wipe off that beaming smile off his face when Sebastian came to sit beside him.
Blaine said with a matching bright smile, "hi."
For the longest time, they stared, drinking in each other's appearance, casting it in memory for forever forgetting that they weren't alone. Sebastian was the one who broke the trance first, "Where did you get this spread from? This looks quite authentic." He gestured to all the food.
"Across the street, from there." He pointed to the little shop through the window.
"It tastes good too."
"Yeah." Blaine dopily nodded, placing his elbow on the table and cupping his own face.
"Just kiss him already," Nick said making Sebastian's head turn slowly as his eyes shined in a glint. "Why Duval, are your voyeuristic urges still not fulfilled from last night?" Sebastian said in a tone that left Nick sputtering for words and everyone else in stitches.
He asked, "So, who won the bet that you perverts put on us?"
Blaine told him, "Coop won."
"He did?" Sebastian asked in surprise. But before Blaine could answer, Jeff answered for him, "Yep, he guessed both the time and place correctly."
"He'll be pleased to know that I'm sure. Did you tell him, Killer?"
"No, but we could tell him together. I'm sure he'd want to talk to you when he finds out," Blaine suggested. "We can do that." Sebastian nodded.
Breakfast was a fun affair with no trace of any awkwardness, which assured Blaine that this was meant to be. Sebastian just clicked like he had always been a part of the dynamic. Of course, he had lived at Dalton with Jeff and Nick but even the girls were completely at ease bantering with him. Alice asked, "So Sebastian, do you have something scheduled for today?"
"Let me think, there's a lunch meeting which I'm not sure how long it'll run… then there's a conference call…" Sebastian murmured forgetting he was thinking out loud.
"And aren't you going on vacation, when are you leaving?" Chloe asked.
"Wait for a second, let me check… today evening." Sebastian said as he scrolled through his phone making Blaine exclaim, "Oh! I thought we'd have at least a day." He had already planned their date as he had forgotten about Sebastian's plans of going out of town. "Uh… I," Sebastian hesitated on seeing Blaine's fallen face.
"Why don't we clean up and leave you two to talk," Nick suggested when he saw that the two clearly needed to talk. They went to Blaine's bedroom instead. Blaine started first after closing the door, "Ba…Seb, you don't need to…."
But Sebastian didn't let him complete, "you can call me Bas, you know. A start-over doesn't erase the fact that we were friends before that, B and still are."
"I think I've been doing it in my head for a while now that it must've started slipping out. But I always liked Bas better than Seb," Blaine explained sitting down on the edge of his bed.
"But back to the point, you don't have to change your plans for me Bas. You deserve this vacation. We can always talk over Skype and on phone and… we'll be fine," Blaine suggested in a tone that conveyed he was trying to convince himself more than Sebastian.
Sebastian said with a soft casual shrug, "or you could come with me."
"I wasn't fishing for invitations, Bas and I can't just crash your family vacation. I don't want to impose and be the clingy one already. We'll be fine if we don't see each other for a couple of weeks, I'm sure."
"I won't be coming back till next month."
Blaine let out a dejected Oh on hearing Sebastian's revelation but still, Blaine tried again, "We'll be fine, I'm sure."
"But I want you to come. If I had remembered this earlier, I would've asked you already. And it's not like you're doing anything important here till college starts. We'll be back before then, I promise. You'll have the best time," Sebastian said taking Blaine's hands in his.
"It's not about that. What will your family think? Your mom who used to be my high school principal, what would she think?"
"A: she's your ex-high school principal," Sebastian pointed out with a slight tilt of his head and a sarcastic count on his fingers till Blaine cut in. "Semantics."
But he continued with a roll of his eyes, "and you're not in high school, so how does it matter? And she is not even Dalton's principal anymore. And B: you'll already know more than a handful of people so you'll be fine. No one's going to bat an eyelash if I bring you with me; they'll be far more ecstatic with the fact that I'm finally dating somebody."
"Are we dating?" Blaine asked with a teasing smile.
"Is that all you took from what I said?"
At Blaine's slow nod, Sebastian pointed out casually shrugging, "You did ask me out on a date so." When Blaine didn't say anything apart from looking a bit in thought, he gave him an option, "you know what, you have an offer on the table, think about it and if you feel like going, pack some sexy swimsuits, sunglasses and summer shorts. I'll pick you up at five in the evening."
The way Sebastian just took back control yet gave him an out left Blaine wanting to agree with him then and there but instead, he asked coyly, "Is that a date?"
"It can be if you want it to," Sebastian replied in a voice that just oozed sex and sent Blaine's brain into an overdrive. God, this man had some serious charm on him. It made him question how did he ever refuse him before.
"Very well Mr. Smythe. I'll think about it and get back to you with my decision," Blaine said when he got his brain back online.
"Fair enough, Mr. Anderson," Sebastian said in kind making them dissolve in laughter and lying on the bed.
"You said to pack swimsuits and sunglasses, where exactly are we going?" Blaine asked after some time.
Sebastian teased with an arched brow, "We?"
"You," Blaine corrected with an eye roll.
"Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts. My grandparents own a huge property there, right on the beach and it's absolutely beautiful. There's also a lake on a side on the house and we can take out the yacht in the ocean, you'll love it," Sebastian told him.
"I'm still deciding Bas."
He tried one last time, "City or beaches, we both know what's the right option. You know you want to and honestly; I don't want to wait till next month for the date you promised me."
"You're playing dirty now."
"Never claimed otherwise, Killer." Sebastian's gaze fell on the time reminding of his responsibilities so he said, "I should leave now since I have a meeting in a couple of hours. Call or text me whatever you decide, okay?"
He asked while dressing back up, "Can I borrow some sunglasses and maybe a cap if you have any?"
"Sure. Will this work or how about this one?" Blaine asked opening his closet and offering different options. "This is fine. Thanks; don't want my walk of shame plastered on tabloids just yet." Sebastian said taking the big sunglasses and a baseball cap.
"Here, take this too," Blaine, said holding out the Columbia sweatshirt. It made Sebastian's eyes to glint eliciting a smirk, "are you trying to mark your territory cause, you've done that already if you haven't noticed that yet."
"First, this is Jeff's, the hood will cover more and fit you better. Second, I don't need my clothes to mark you mine." Blaine told him playing the game in return. He wasn't going to let Sebastian know how much he affected him.
But Sebastian wasn't ready to let it slide. "Now you're lying. I did notice how your eyes darkened and breath hitched when I came out earlier. You liked that I was wearing your clothes and you wanted to stake your claim then and there," he teased Blaine sliding a lone finger from Blaine's jaw to his neck in interrupted feather light touches. His touch left a trail of Goosebumps behind, darkening Blaine's eyes in arousal and hitching his breath at the sexy low gravel voice whispering in Blaine's ears.
"If you keep talking like that then I'm going to kiss the fuck out of you," Blaine told him with a slight growl in his voice.
"Who's stopping you?" Sebastian challenged him.
"I thought no kisses till after the first date."
"Well rules are meant to be broken, aren't they?"
Blaine countered remembering Sebastian's words from last night, "What about anticipation and boundaries?"
"Let's say, we had enough anticipation for today and call the breakfast as a date." Sebastian stared at him, eyes open wide and steady making Blaine blink, held at the intensity of the gaze. He wondered if Sebastian is trying to tell him something; if he's supposed to gather everything he didn't dare to say in those big, green eyes.
Eventually, Sebastian says, "I'm going to kiss you."
And before Blaine could react other than a muted 'oh', Sebastian does. Kiss him, that is. He leans forward, the distance shorter than Blaine had noticed and presses his wet mouth to his, nothing but soft pressure as his upper lip curls around his lower one, slotting them together as if in a perfect puzzle. It's just a soft, lingering touch, but Blaine feels it all the way down to his toes.
Sebastian breaks away first with a soft plop sound following his separation. Almost immediately, though, he leans forward again, only to be stopped swiftly by Blaine's hand on his chest.
"Breakfast was not a date."
Sebastian rolls his eyes, and murmurs, "whatever." He smiles when Blaine smacks his chest, so he brightly asks again, "Come with me?"
He can see Blaine's eyes unfocus, and knows what's going on in his mind. He's making cost-analysis charts, drawing up graphs, maybe writing a timeline. But this isn't about cost-analysis, so he kisses Blaine to distract him.
It works; he goes automatically into Sebastian's arms, and they shift and settle into the bed. He's warm and heavy against his body, all his, and he wonders honestly if this was a dream. He wanted this for so long. He moves down, slowly, rests his head on Blaine's shoulder, kissing, breathing; he loves the smooth skin there. He threads his fingers in Blaine's hair loving the free curls, while he loses himself for a little while.
Blaine's the one that disengages first this time, reaching a hand up to cup Sebastian's cheek smiling and replies, "and this is why I slept with you. You're far more persuasive than you should be."
"Are my powers working then?"
"Weren't you going home?" Blaine asked diverting.
"Had enough of me already?"
"The car's not here yet. I'm going to busy, probably the whole day so if you cant reach me, call Odessa, and tell her whatever you decide. I hope you decide to come because I really want you to," Sebastian told him before getting up to leave. He straightened his clothes, put on the sweatshirt. They went out where everybody else was hanging around in the living room and when his car came, Sebastian left leaving Blaine the center of attention of the four inquisitive eyes.
"He asked me to come with him on the vacation and I don't know what to do. It's not even 24 hours yet and isn't it too fast if I go with him. I just came back a week ago after going on tour with him. And what would his mother think; she doesn't want me to date him. And that's not even considering his grandparents might be there, they'll probably be. That's a whole another ball and we haven't even gone on our first date. How exactly will he introduce me? We're not even boyfriends yet and…"
Blaine's word vomit surprised his friends, "Blaine, Blaine. Blaine. Take a breath and calm down."
"I don't have the time to calm down. I need to decide," Blaine told them still riled up and pacing around.
"Okay, we'll help you. Right guys?" Chloe offered and everybody agreed. "So, the first and the main issue, do you want to go with him?"
"Yes, of course." Blaine readily answered.
"Good, then it doesn't matter if you just came back from the tour. Next, what's the deal with his mother? When did headmis…Mrs. Smythe tell you that she doesn't want you to date, Sebastian?" Nick asked.
He asked again on seeing Blaine's hesitation, "did she say those exact words?"
"No, but she did ask me to keep my distance from him which I clearly didn't," Blaine revealed.
"Well if you're going to hell, I'd say go with all the way," Alice told him.
"And I'm sure she'll be okay eventually if you didn't listen to her, man. It's not like she'd want you to break up with Sebastian," Jeff agreed.
"Yeah, I agree with Jeff. I'm sure she was just being a mom, you know. If you want to go then you should go Blaine. Once your session will start, you won't have the same freedom to spend time with Sebastian as you do now," Nick pointed out.
Chloe said, "Exactly. With your last year and him being busy with whatever he's working on, who knows when will you guys get to go anywhere."
Blaine took a couple of minutes to take in everything his friends had said and he agreed, "I should go. You're right, all of you are. I'm going to go." While his friends cheered his decision, he realized, "there's so much to do, I need to pack. And I need to…"
"Call and tell him first. I'm sure he'd be waiting to hear from you." Chloe pointed it to him before he could go into another one of his spins.
"Yeah. Wait a sec, let me find my swimsuits."
Sebastian's phone chimed in with an incoming message from Blaine. He opened it to find a picture of Blaine in sunglasses and shorts with two swimsuits captioning –Which one do you think I should pack – red or the one with the anchors ;)
He immediately replied – Both with a devil emoticon before he called Blaine, "Took you long enough."
"I'm paying for my ticket," Blaine replied instead of any pleasantry making Sebastian chuckle.
"Whatever you want, Killer."