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The Replacement

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“The city dump, where smells go to relax and be themselves,” Buffy said sarcastically.


“People say they’re recycling. They’re not recycling,” Riley observed.


Buffy resisted the urge to use the axe she currently held to chop his unsuspecting head off. He was so damn annoying lately; it was time to break up with him. To end the torment that was their relationship. He wasn’t what she wanted anymore, didn’t do anything for her. A simple shoulder massage he couldn’t even get right. Was pretty bad that she would rather read her history book then be bothered with him.


“I found a spell so you can’t smell anything, but it does it by taking your nose off, so, no,” Willow said wrinkling her nose at the combination of smells the city dump was emitting.


They continued to walk through the stench as Giles, Riley and Xander looked around. They heard some clattering and turned just in time to see Spike digging through some old furniture, his blond hair gleaming in the moonlight.


“What are you doing here Spike?” Riley asked him, a clip of annoyance in his voice.


Buffy gave Riley a dirty look behind his back, who was he to interrogate Spike, that was her job.


“Oh, there’s a nice lady vampire who set up a charming tearoom over the next pile of crap. What do you think I’m doing? I’m scavenging, ain’t I?”  Spike remarked holding up a little glass oil lamp.


“Very pretty,” Willow commented Spike, giving him a small smile.


“Spike, um…we’re looking for a demon, um…tall, robed…skin sort of hanging off, deep voice,” Giles said as he described the demon.


Spike put his findings in a shopping cart and turned back to look at Giles.


“You mean a great, tall robey thing like that one?” Spike said pointing behind the group.


They spun around and came face to face with the tall demon; it’s face glowing neon green through the cracks in the gold colored skin. He held his post up and fired, a shot of yellow magic flew out of the end of the post, turning into fire as it landed on the garbage.


The scoobies split up and dove for cover, not wanting to be at the receiving end of the magic.


“Big guy, kick her ass!” Spike shouted.


The demon looked his way and shot his post, the ball of magic shattering the glass lamp he held in his hand.


“Oh, very nice! I was on your side!” Spike yelled throwing the remaining glass on the ground. Buffy ran over to him and grabbed his arm as the demon prepared to shoot.


“Watch out slayer,” Spike yelled as he pushed the slayer away from him. The demon fired, the shot landing square in Spike’s chest, flying him backwards into the garbage.


“Are you ok?” Riley asked running over to him. “Wait, what the hell am I doing? Who cares if you are fine?”


Riley backed away as Xander and Giles reached for Spike.


“Buffy, he’s gone,” Willow said looking around.


“I’m bloody well fine,” Spike grumbled as they pulled him to his feet.


“Yeah he’s gone,” Riley commented.


Captain obvious, Buffy thought rolling her eyes. She went to Spike’s side and helped him.


“That had to hurt.”


“Yeah,” Spike answered looking down at the blond standing next to him. His dead heart contracted as he looked at the concern shining in her jade green depths. He shook the feeling off, leaving it to she was sorry he wasn’t dead. He shrugged the other’s hands off and brushed the dust from his leather coat.


“Take it slowly Spike. Do you need any help?” Giles asked him as Spike faltered on his feet.


“I’m the big bad damn it. I’m fine!” Spike yelled as he walked away from the group.


Buffy glanced at him as he walked away. Spike could feel her eyes boring into his back as he left, not once looking back.


The rest of them shrugged at one another, confident that they wouldn’t find anything else in the area and moved to follow him out of the dump.


Little did they know there was a passed out Spike lying amidst the garbage, in the exact same spot Spike was thrown.




Singing birds, a gentle breeze and horrible smells were what woke Spike up.


“What the bleeding hell is that smell?” he mused as he opened his eyes.


He lifted a hand to his face and yelled out as his flesh started to burn. His eyes shot open and he realized he was still in the dump.


“What the…?” he said aloud as he stood up, the sunlight forgotten.


His alabaster skin started to smoke again and Spike yelped as his flesh sizzled. Hurling his duster over his head he ran to the nearest manhole and flung himself inside, the darkness welcoming him, cooling his burned skin. 


It took him a moment to compose himself, it had been un-nerving to wake up and see the sun shining, never mind the fact that it could have killed him.


Spike scratched at his head, his burned hand already starting to heal thanks to his vampire healing. He remembered being hit with the ball of fiery magic but wasn’t sure what happened after that. He shrugged his shoulders and started to wander back to his crypt.


“Musta had too much to drink last night,” he murmured following the tunnels back to the antechamber of his crypt. He walked inside and quickly divested himself of his leather duster. All Spike wanted to do was crawl into bed and forget about his near death experience. That was one nightmare one didn’t want to repeat.


Spike lay down on his bed, flat on his stomach, his arms curled under the pillow cradling his head, his legs spread. His blue eyes closed and his breathing stopped, his slumber upon him. Spike smiled as he began to dream, totally unawares to the human currently slumbering in the upstairs part of his crypt, an identical smile on his face.




“Man that demon was creepy, gave me all sorts of wonky nightmares,” Willow said as she, Buffy and Giles were doing research in the Magic Box.


“He wasn’t model material that’s for sure,” Buffy agreed looking up from her book.


“Most demons aren’t,” Giles commented his nose still buried deeply in the book he was researching.


“Giles, what do we really know about this demon?” Buffy asked, as she was growing very bored with the book thing.


“Well for one we know he has targeted you, I think that’s reason enough don’t you?” He questioned her, putting down his book and cleaning his glasses with the handkerchief he removed from his tweed jacket pocket.


“Yeah but he hit Spike with his post thingie and Spike is fine. Why do all this research?”


“So we know what to do when he comes after you again,” Giles said matter of factly.


“Ugh fine…but I’m taking a little break. Definitely in need of a little patrol time. Vamps are silly rascals…never believe in taking a vacation when the slayer is busy.”

“Heh…that was funny,” Willow laughed as Buffy stood up.


“Don’t go alone. You should take Riley with you.”


“A world of no…I’m so over that, besides Riley would just get in the way and distract me,” Buffy replied, her voice muffled as she dug through the weapons chest.


“Did you break it off yet?”


“No…I’m just pretty much avoiding him at this point.”


“You’re breaking it off with Riley?” Giles asked surprised floating over his face.


“Ohhh success!” Buffy exclaimed coming up for air after finding the axe she was looking for. Giles raised his eyebrows at her and waited for her to answer his question.


“Giles he is annoying me. Geez if I wanted someone to hang all over me and follow me around I would get a dog. I just have to let this one go. I can’t take him anymore. And an un-happy slayer is not an effective slayer right?”




“See so we are all agreed. Captain Cardboard goes away.” Buffy smiled happily.


“I still don’t want you patrolling alone. Not until we know more about this demon who is after you. I still suggest Riley or Xander.”


“Blech Giles. I’ll go get Spike then. At least I can tolerate him or kick his ass. Either way sounds like fun.”





The sun had just drifted low in the sky casting the horizon in an orange-ish black hue when Spike moved up the ladder leading to the main level of his crypt. He walked into his kitchen, scratching his head and yawning. His stomach growled at him, demanding that he feed it.


He reached inside his little mini-fridge and took out his container of blood. He didn’t even bother warming it or putting it in a separate cup, just lifted the container to his lips and took a deep swallow. He closed his eyes in contentment as the thick liquid flowed down his throat and into his rumbling stomach. He had just brought the container to his lips again when the chamber door came crashing open revealing the slayer wielding a large axe.


“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” He asked her as he put down the container.


“I have and I chose not to listen.”


“Good thing I tolerate you otherwise you’d be dead right now.”


“Yeah right. I’d like to see you try Mr. Chips.”


“Aren’t you funny.”


“Yup,” Buffy answered.


“What do you want?” Spike asked her.


“Giles doesn’t want me to patrol alone and since you’re home and alone, I thought you might want to come.”


“You thought wrong.”


“Aw come on Spike. You always liked fighting or is the chip affecting that part too?” She asked with mock concern.


“Oh sod off slayer.”


“Wow someone woke up on the wrong side of the crypt,” Buffy mused, watching as Spike shot her a dirty look.


“Bleeding hell can’t I please get some sleep?”


“How did you do that?” Buffy asked Spike.


“Do what?”


“Throw your voice like that? It sounded like you were behind me.”


“It’s not him you stupid bint, it’s me.”


Buffy whirled around and came face to face with Spike. Only it wasn’t Spike but it was at the same time. Sound confusing? Guess how she felt.


“Wha?” Buffy started to ask but was interrupted when the Spike behind her started to growl.


It was then that Buffy noticed she didn’t get her ‘vampy tingles’ from the Spike in front of her. They were only radiating on her back from the Spike behind her. Behind Spike growled as Buffy took a step towards the Spike in front of her. She reached a hand out and touched his chest, right where the heart should be. Instead of feeling the empty hollow feeling she was used to with vampires she felt his heart beat, strong and thumping, his body heat radiating around her palm.


She snatched her hand back and backed away from him, her back colliding with vamp!Spike who was moving towards them. He growled again as the human!Spike smirked.


“What the hell are you?” She asked as vamp!Spike put a hand on her shoulder. He growled again, low and menacingly.


“Oh come now. Is there any reason for the growling?” human!Spike said as he cocked his head at them.


“I believe the lady asked you a question mate,” vamp!Spike snarled.


“What do you mean what am I? You know who I am. I’m Spike aka William the Bloody.”


“You’re not a vampire,” Buffy stated, oddly comforted by vamp!Spike’s hand on her shoulder.


“I bloody well am!” he said as he tried to shift his features into his vamp guise. “What the hell?”


“He’s a fake. Damn body snatcher. How did he get in here?” vamp!Spike said aloud, not to anyone in particular.


“This is my home you git. How the hell else do you think I got here?”


Vamp!Spike started to move from behind Buffy. He and the other Spike stood in front of each other, one smirking, one moving from human to vamp guise. Buffy watched as they started to circle one another, trying to figure out what was going on.


“Spike..” Buffy said as both of them turned and looked at her. She almost gasped aloud as twin sets of piercing blue turned her way. They regarded her with their heads cocked in opposite directions and a slight smirk playing on their lips.


“We’ve got to get to Giles.”


“For what?” vamp!Spike asked.


“Cuz of this whole twin, human version of you. It’s got to have something to do with the demon we ran into last night,” She said as she started to pace in front of them.


“How do you know we are both the same person?” human!Spike questioned as he looked at the vampire.


Buffy stopped pacing and put her hands on her hips.


“Oh please. Look at the two of you. You are exactly the same except the alive and undead status. I’m not that stupid. Besides I get the same feelings from the both of you.”


“Feelings?” they said in unison, their lips turning up in twin smirks.


“Need I say more?” She said throwing her hands out. 




“This is rather extraordinary,” Giles was saying as he thoroughly inspected the twin Spikes.


“How many more times do you think he’ll say that?” Willow whispered to Buffy who giggled.


“That’s a good question. So far he’s said it at least ten times.”


“I know.” Willow giggled.


“We know Giles. You have only said that about a dozen times,” Buffy said as he continued to observe the two Spikes.


They were sitting side by side, both sprawled out exactly the same. They watched Giles as he paced in front of them, every so often he would stop and tilt his head and exclaim how extraordinary this was.


“But it is Buffy. While you were gone Willow and I found information on the demon that attacked us—Spike. His name is Toth. “


“Toth,” both Spikes repeated as they watched Giles pace back and forth.


“Toth was aiming for you Buffy when he hit Spike. The rod device is called a ferula gemina. It splits one person in half, distilling personality traits into two separate bodies. As near as I can tell, Toth was attempting to split the Slayer into two different entities.”


“Two Buffies?” Buffy asked confused.


“Yes. One with all the qualities inherent in Buffy Summers. The other with everything that belongs to the slayer alone—the strength, the speed, the heritage and when it hit Spike…it split him into two. His human side and his vampire side.”


“Well we have already gathered that one of them is human. So essentially one can write some really bad poetry and the other is all vampire?” Buffy asked as she moved to stand next to Giles in front of the Spikes.


“Hey! I resent that!” human!Spike exclaimed frowning.


“Just ignore the bint. Your poetry wasn’t that bad,” vamp!Spike mused, reaching a hand out and trying to comfort his human side. “She’s always a bitch to me—er us.”


Buffy huffed and put her hands on her hips as she twisted her face into the meanest dirty look she could muster. Vamp!Spike just laughed and clucked his tongue behind his teeth.


“Great so now I have two pains in my ass,” Buffy said. “Can we put them back together or are they gonna stay this way?”


“They have to go back together. They are both parts of the same Spike. Without his other half Spike will die.”


“That wouldn’t be so bad,” Buffy mumbled.


“Bitch!” they yelled in unison.


“I was just joking.”


“Buffy do be serious,” Giles said exasperated as he took off his glasses and cleaned them.


She rolled her eyes at Giles and glanced back at the twins. They both regarded her with the same hurt look. It struck her and she felt bad. She didn’t mean to hurt their feelings. She really was kidding. Besides she kinda liked the thought of two Spikes. What was really wrong was that she was getting turned on looking at them, fantasizing about them.


She sighed and locked eyes with vamp!Spike. His blue eyes darkened as he smiled slowly, lasciviously. Human!Spike huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.


Great, now I’m making them jealous of each other, Buffy thought trying like hell NOT to roll her eyes.


“So what’s the plan?”


“I want to do some more research on how to put Spike back together and also I think we need to locate Toth. Irregardless of him hitting Spike he will still be after you,” Giles replied.


“What should I do now then?” Buffy wondered.


“I thought you were going to patrol. Take the two Spikes with you and have at it,” Giles said.


“Yeah slayer, let’s have at it,” vamp!Spike sneered.


“You’re a pig Spike.”


“Oink oink,” both answered simultaneously.





Buffy was still fighting the urge to slap them both silly an hour later as they scanned their third cemetery. They hadn’t come across Toth at all, not even a vampire, a lowly demon, nothing. Buffy would have been bored if not for the hunk of ass she made walk in front of her.


Make that two hunks of ass, she corrected herself as she watched both Spikes walk in front of her.


Even human!Spike had the same swagger and confident stride vamp!Spike possessed.  I guess it was dumb luck that Toth’s magic copied them exactly, down to their clothes. Buffy didn’t think she could stood watching them fight over the leather duster. She would have gone crazy with want watching them argue and fight. Just the thought had her panties dampening with need.


Abruptly vamp!Spike stopped in front of her and swung around. Buffy was so lost in her daydream that she ran right into his perfectly chiseled chest.


“Damn Spike. What did you stop for?” Buffy demanded.


His eyes clouded over as he sniffed at the air.


“Thought I smelled something.” Vamp!Spike licked his lips and gazed down at her. Buffy’s face heated up and she blushed violently, her cheeks a bright red against the honey blond of her hair.


“God! Were you always such a damn pig?”


“You love it slayer.”


“Um…guys?” human!Spike asked.


Both turned around and saw what human!Spike saw, Toth.


“There you are slayer. I won’t miss this time,” He said as he pointed his post at her.


Human!Spike hid behind vamp!Spike, grasping onto his shoulders tightly.


Vamp!Spike raised his eyebrow and glanced at his twin over his shoulder.


“Bloody hell man I don’t have you super powers ya know,” he explained not letting go of vamp!Spike’s shoulder.


“Just don’t draw blood you git.”


Buffy dodged the blast of magic from Toth’s post and did a somersault on the grass. She jumped to her feet and charged him just as he lifted his post once more. She reached him before he could fire and kicked him in the head, her fists coming out of nowhere and landing a series of punches to his head and chest. He staggered back and tried to fight back but she wouldn’t let him. She was relentless in her beating, her fists and feet everywhere.


He charged her and swayed backwards as her boot connected with his face.


“Spike the axe!” she yelled.


Vamp!Spike loosened his twin’s grip on his shoulders and grabbed the sword. Deftly he threw it at her, its sharp blade gleaming in the moonlight as it flipped towards her. Buffy grabbed the handle expertly and swung it, imbedding the sharp blade in Toth’s chest.


“Nooo!” he screamed as green goo started to pour from the wound. With one last breath he stilled and was dead.


“Damn!” human!Spike mumbled under his breath after the fight was over.


“I know,” vamp!Spike agreed his black jeans tightening against his hardening cock. Watching Buffy battle always did something to him as well.


If the scent of her arousal perfuming the air was any indication, Spike had a feeling he wasn’t the only one turned on.




Xander, Anya, Giles and Willow were assembled in the Magic Box when Buffy and the twin Spikes returned. Giles was on the floor drawing a pentagram while Willow lit the candles.

“Oh good, you guys are finally here. We figured out how to put Spike back together,” Willow said happily when she saw them walk through the door.


Buffy led the troupe, the two Spikes behind her swaggering, their identical leather jackets sweeping around their ankles. The sight really was breathtaking. Even Willow couldn’t deny the sexiness of the two.


“Wow,” Anya breathed which earned a dirty look from Xander. “I can’t help it, they are just so gah.”


“Oh please. Two of the bleached wonder, now my life is complete,” Xander grumbled under his breath, jealous that his woman would think Spike was hot, even though he felt the same way. 


Xander blushed and looked away.


“You gonna be working mojo on me again Red?” vamp!Spike asked as he and his twin followed Buffy to the glass counter.


“It’s a simple spell Spike. Toth’s spell is doing all the work in keeping you apart. I just have to break it to get you two back together,” Willow said smiling at the two.


“Are you two ready?” Giles asked them as he stood and glanced down at his drawing.


The twin Spikes nodded yes.


“What if this doesn’t work?” Buffy questioned.


“Then you’ll be the meat in our Spike sandwich,” the twins said in unison as they cocked their heads and smirked at her, their eyes practically undressing her.


Buffy tried to look disgusted but honestly it turned her on. The thought of being between the two of them, writhing and moaning was enough to drench her thong. She closed her eyes as a shudder went through her body. This did not go un-noticed by either Spike.


“Ok guys stand side by side like this, don’t want you to have two fronts.”


The Spikes did as Willow said and stood next to each other, their shoulders touching. 


“Ok brace yourselves.”


Both Spikes closed their eyes and waited.


“Let the spell be ended,” Willow said clearly.


“Let the spell be ended? That isn’t going to bloody work,” Spike said as he opened his eyes. He looked next to him and saw he was alone. “Oh.”




“You didn’t have to walk me home Spike,” Buffy remarked as they neared her house on Revello Drive.


“I know. I was just being polite. It’s not something I do all the time so don’t get used to it,” he replied with a clip in his voice.


“Thank you.”


Spike nodded, refusing to look at her.


He walked her up her porch and stopped as she put her hand on the doorknob.






Buffy turned around and looked at him. Spike shuffled his feet and looked down. He didn’t know why but he was embarrassed all of a sudden.


“I just wanted to thank you for helping me—us. You didn’t have to but you did. Thank you,” he said sincerely raising his eyes and finally looking at her.


Buffy smiled and nodded. “No problem.”


Her smile was infectious and he smiled as well.


“Do you want to come in? Mom is still at the Gallery, some huge shipment came in probably won’t be home all night.”


Spike tilted his head at her and nodded. “Only if you make some of that hot chocolate.”


Buffy laughed and opened the door. “I even have extra bags of small marshmallows for you.”


Spike smiled at her back as she walked over the threshold and into the dark house. Before she had a chance to turn on the light he grabbed her around the waist and held her to him. Buffy’s heart rate sped up as his lips descended on hers. He kissed her sweetly, his lips pressing against her softly. He pulled back and braced himself for the slap but it never came. A moment passed as if Buffy was debating something. Without warning her arms looped around his neck and she dragged his mouth back to hers. Spike made a strangled noise and held her more tightly against him.


His lips danced against hers, his tongue licking at the seam of her lips, demanding entrance. She opened willingly and stroked her tongue along his. His kiss sent new spirals of want shooting through her body. The fire of his lips vibrating through her form leaving her nerve endings tingling.


After a long moment he broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together. They both were panting, pulling in great gulps of air.


“If this is your thanks for helping you then you should get in trouble more often,” Buffy said breathlessly.


Spike blinked and laughed, the deep sound of his laughter echoing through the house and into the night.


“I’ll remember that next time slayer,” he said as his mouth moved to capture hers again.