"Am I in your head half as often as you're on my mind?" -Alice Kristiansen, Lost My Mind
"Kitten! Tiger!" JJ sighed as he watched the lithe form of Yuri Plisetsky speed up past the rink exit. "Oi! Plisetsky!"
Yuri finally turned around and gave JJ a glare that could quell even the fiercest lion. "What the fuck do you want, JJ?"
JJ ran toward Yuri, then slowed down. He couldn't appear too desperate. "Can we talk?"
Yuri smirked at JJ, his blond hair falling into his face. "You want to talk about how I beat you at your own home rink? How you're a fucking mess since you got dumped by Isabella?"
JJ took in a deep breath, held it, and let it out. He could do this. "Actually, yes."
Yuri's face contorted to an expression between surprise and disgust. Finally, he answered. "Shouldn't you talk about that with your shrink?"
JJ shrugged. "Well, sort of. Ever since Barcelona, my cool factor has been zero. Don't get me wrong; I'm still King JJ. But I feel like a half baked version of him."
"I still don't see how this is my problem, loser."
"I know you like Otabek."
Yuri flushed a deep red and glared at JJ. He grabbed JJ's shoulder and hauled him outside. The brisk air helped calm JJ's nerves. Once they were out of sight, Yuri punched JJ in the arm. "What the fuck, asshole?"
JJ grinned. He didn't mind getting hit by Yuri Plisetsky. He knew that Yuri only paid attention to the people he liked and ignored the rest. "I've seen how you look at him. You're like a kitty in heat, panting after him and his leather jacket."
Yuri glared at JJ again. He was used to this and continued. "I-I've been struggling more than I'd like to admit after my breakup with Isabella. As you know, she left me right before Worlds and I choked. Again. You and your podium family stood up together instead."
"If you dare refer to the old man and Katsudon as my parents I will strangle you with your skates."
JJ laughed. At least talking to Yuri was refreshing. "I thought we might be able to help each other out. I can help you make Otabek jealous and you can help me get back to my King JJ status." He fluttered his eyelashes. "Anyone dating you would automatically get attention and status."
Yuri blinked. "Excuse me? Did you just ask to date me?"
"Well, pretend to date me. We wouldn't actually be dating."
"You're not gay."
"That's true. I'm bisexual."
"Bisexual Christians do exist."
Yuri gave a hollow laugh. "Why me? Giacometti or Sara Crispino would be more high profile."
JJ reached his hand to touch Yuri's shoulder. "Because we'd go great together. I don't want to be Giacometti's arm candy. We can help each other out, have an amicable breakup, and maybe you won't hate me at the end. With any luck Otabek will be crazy jealous and ask you out."
Yuri shrugged his shoulder away from JJ's touch. "I'm probably an idiot for even considering this."
"Probably. But kitten, I'm desperate."
"Don't call me kitten."
Yuri narrowed his eyes at JJ. "Call me anything other than Yuri and I'll sic my Angels after you."
"Okay. Yuri." JJ liked Yuri's name on his tongue. He wasn't sure if he'd ever actually called him Yuri before. "Do we have a deal? We date through the Grand Prix Final and break up due to something like sexual incompatibility?"
"Fuck that! I'm sexually compatible with everyone. Plus, aren't you saving yourself for marriage?" Yuri rolled his eyes and glared at JJ.
JJ was silent. He had waited so long, thinking he would get to make love with Isabella, but now his virginity felt like a weight hanging around his neck. He intended to lose it as quickly as he could. God would understand. He didn't want to sound like a sad sack in front of Yuri, so he tried to sound as nonchalant about it as he could. "Not anymore."
Yuri seemed to pick up on the sensitivity of the issue and thankfully decided not to pursue it. JJ knew he was much nicer than he'd ever admit. "Would we have to be seen on dates?"
"Would we have to kiss?"
"What, kitten - er - Yuri - scared I have cooties?"
JJ sighed. "How about this? I'll head back and you can text me your decision."
"I don't have your number."
"Yes, you do."
JJ grinned, loving that he caught Yuri in a lie. "I'm in Montreal the rest of the week, so maybe I'll see you around. On a date."
He turned away and walked back to the rink to find his dad. As he was packing up his things, he heard his phone beep and vibrate.
I'm in, asshole.
His phone buzzed again.
You'd better be a good kisser.
JJ whooped and put his phone away. Perhaps things were finally looking up for King JJ.
"You took me to McDonalds for our first date."
JJ shrugged. "Think of it more as two friends getting together to discuss their relationship."
"We're not friends."
JJ ignored the comment and continued. "This will mark the start of our relationship. We can tell the press that I've been into you for a while, and now that I'm finally ready to start dating, I gathered my courage and asked you to be my boyfriend."
"Ugh, do we really have to call each other boyfriends?"
"What else would you call it? We can't be casual."
"This fucking sucks."
JJ grinned. "I'm going to keep a running tally of how many times you say the 'f' word."
"Not as many times as you refer to yourself as 'King JJ.'"
"So why did you decide to go out with me?"
Yuri looked JJ over several times. "You have his hair."
JJ touched his undercut. He had gotten it cut to match Otabek's as much as he could but he wasn't going to admit that to Yuri.
Yuri had bottle green eyes, and they were far softer when he wasn't yelling. Really, Yuri was beautiful; the most beautiful skater JJ knew. Pretending to date Yuri would be far easier than mastering a quadruple Salchow.
"You can't like me because I look like someone else."
"I totally can."
JJ ran his fingers through his hair and watched as the McDonald's employee brought their food out. Yuri dug into his burger and stuffed several fries into his mouth. JJ couldn't eat like that unless it was during a week of a competition. Instead, he stabbed a piece of lettuce and grilled chicken from his salad with his fork and chewed slowly.
"Your music choice this season."
"The songs you picked caught my attention. I started paying attention to you when I heard that Lauren Aquilina song. It was perfect for you."
JJ smiled. He was flattered that Yuri liked his music choice, a song about a king who had fallen from grace. He had intentionally chosen a power ballad for his short program to give maximum impact for his far more artistic and expressional free skate. JJ had never been considered a stylistic skater, more about power and technical difficulty, but he wanted to push himself and prove to everyone that he was doing well post-Isabella.
Yuri's cheeks turned pink as he picked up his hamburger. "Plus, you've got a great ass."
"Why Yuri, have you been looking at my ass?"
Yuri scowled and took another bite of his hamburger. "You wear spandex. How could I not notice your ass?"
JJ felt himself smile. "King JJ's ass is spectacular."
Yuri held up three fingers. "If you call yourself King JJ more than five times on a date I will leave."
They ate in silence. JJ wasn't sure what else to say. "You really like my music choice this season?"
Yuri nodded. "I still think it's stupid when you call yourself a king when you aren't actually royalty, asshole."
JJ sat back. So Yuri liked music other than heavy metal and emo.
"We'll come see each other at the other GPF events. I'll cheer for you at the Trophee de France and you can let me stay with you during the Rostelecom Cup."
"Fuck no! I don't want you meeting my grandpa."
"Do you still live with him?"
Yuri shook his head. "I stay with Lilia. Grandpa travels a lot. But he never misses any of my competitions in St. Petersburg."
"Well can I stay with Lilia and we'll leave your grandpa out of it?"
"If you insist. But you'll be under Lilia's rules. And the gross couple will be there. Fat Yuuri and the retired old man are staying with us too."
"Viktor had a short return to competition."
Yuri leaned forward and dropped his voice. "He injured his ankle during the off season. Katsudon wouldn't let him compete. They had a huge fight about it."
JJ found himself finished with his salad already. His stomach growled. Yuri glared at him and he turned his box of fries to face JJ. JJ took a fry and dipped it in ketchup. "Thanks. I didn't realize that Viktor and Yuuri were so dramatic."
Yuri laughed. "That's a vast understatement. Everything is like life or death with them. They miscommunicate multiple times a day and neither of them think they're good enough for the other. Then they make up and you can hear them screwing from across the street." He pulled a face and raised his pitch. "OH, YUURI, I LOVE YOU! YES - YES - RIGHT THERE!" He fake vomited.
JJ chuckled, took another fry and stuck it in his mouth. "Everything was so easy with Isabella. We fought a lot but she was always supportive of my skating career."
"You guys went to high school together, right?"
He nodded. "We had several classes together in grade ten. We also went to the same church. She was a fan of skating, so she loved coming on trips with me."
Yuri took his fries back, tipping the tiny stragglers in the box into his mouth. "Do you miss her?"
JJ paused. He missed having someone to spend his time with; his constant companion. He had loved her more than anything. Up until six months prior, his life had been planned out for him. He and Isabella would marry, they'd have several kids, then they'd retire in Montreal and host ice shows. Maybe he'd coach his kids like his father coached him.
Now, his future was a blank slate. He had no idea what he wanted anymore. JJ had no one by his side. One downside to being the king was that he didn't have any close friends. He had acquaintances from his charity and he got coffee with several local musicians, but it wasn't the same. He thought about Yuuri and Phichit and how close they were. He hadn't had something like that in years. At one point, he and Otabek had been friends. They looked out for each other in Colorado Springs.
"Hmm?" He realized Yuri was staring at him, a look of almost sympathy on his face. He couldn't have that. "Don't pity me, kitten. I miss her, but I'm fine."
Yuri's expression changed instantly and he kicked JJ in the shin. "Okay, not that I'm thrilled about this part, but how do you plan on alerting the press? Will you introduce me on a talk show?"
JJ heard the mocking tone and rolled his eyes. "Of course not. We're going to kiss once we get up from the table and it'll be viral by the end of the hour. Don't you see that Yuri Angel over there?"
Yuri craned his long neck to see the tiny brunette wearing cat ears, who shrieked and hid under her table.
They stood up and JJ took Yuri's hand, lacing their fingers together. Yuri stiffened at the touch but then he squeezed JJ's hand in resolve. "For Otabek."
JJ nodded in assent. "For Otabek."
Yuri leaned forward. JJ was surprised at how willing Yuri was to kiss him, but he chalked that up to nerves. He probably just wanted to get it over with.
JJ wrapped his arm around Yuri's waist and pulled him close. Yuri's breath was hot on his face. "Still time to say no."
Yuri opened his eyes and glared at JJ. "Coward."
He grabbed the back of JJ's head and crashed their lips together.
This was nothing like kissing Isabella. Isabella was soft, even when things got heated and JJ had to pull away to cool off. Isabella was sweet; her lips always tasted of cherry chapstick.
Nothing could have prepared JJ for the passion, the ferality with which Yuri Plisetsky kissed. Yuri's lips were hot, sucking the life out of JJ and his tongue plunged into his mouth. JJ's knees felt weak; he used his free hand to clutch their table to hold on for dear life.
Finally, Yuri pulled away, leaving JJ gasping and panting like he had just finished a particularly difficult skate routine.
They heard squealing behind them and Yuri grinned. "Looks like we're going viral, King JJ."
JJ watched as Yuri turned and walked away, leaving him standing dumbfounded at a McDonald's with an unbelievably erect cock.
This was going to be far more interesting than he initially thought.
Instagram post: Canadian skater Jean-Jacques Leroy and World bronze medalist Russian Yuri Plisetsky kissing at a McDonald's in Montreal. Photo edited hearts fill the image. #nofilter
4589 likes 93 comments
Plisets-gal97: OMFG I WATCHED IT HAPPEN
Jjstyle5eva: No way that's JJ.
Nikiforov-lover: King JJ and the Russian Prince? That's adorable. I thought he and Otabek would have been cute together. :/
I-sh1p-1t: FROST ROYALTY IS FUCKING CANON
Official-Yuri-angel: YP confirmed with our club president this afternoon!
Plisets-gal97: I still don't know if I should be happy about this or not. JJL isn't good enough for our bb!