“So I was wondering…”
That was becoming a phrase to be feared in the kingdom of Corona. Especially when uttered by a certain ex-con Prince Consort.
Rapunzel loved Eugene. She truly did. He was her love, her dream. He was her husband, her partner, and the father of their children. He made her laugh. He held her when she cried. He supported her when she didn’t feel she could manage her role as Crown Princess. Sometimes, however, she had to wonder what the hell went on in his head.
Eugene had what some called a unique gift and others called a curse. Not his handsome face or even his Smolder. No, Eugene somehow had the ability to come up with the most inane observations and bizarre questions possible. Usually at the most inopportune times.
For instance, using the smell of the colour brown to describe the odour of the Snuggly Duckling.
Now if Rapunzel was honest, these Eugene-isms did tend to be used for good. There was the time at the Snuggly Duckling when he asked the thugs if the colour blue was the same for them as it was for him. The question stopped a brawl cold and now, whenever violence threatened, it was trotted out for another round of discussion.
Then there was the banquet for the English Ambassador. The man had been acting rather hostile ever since his arrival. But when Eugene had asked, in all seriousness, if he knew what the airspeed velocity of an un-ladened swallow was, Lord Cleese actually grinned and responded “Do you mean an African swallow or a European one?”
The two spent the rest of the dinner in a long and detailed debate on whether or not a five ounce bird could carry a ten pound coconut and how one would do so. By the end of the Ambassador’s stay he and Eugene were good friends and the man’s attitude towards Corona had done a 180.
Unfortunately Eugene also used these things for purely selfish reasons. Mainly to alleviate boredom or to get out of trouble. Like the last time he had gotten into it with the Captain of the Guard. The Captain had been at full bellow when Eugene challenged him to a race involving Maximus and an ostrich. Where the ostrich came from no one knew, but the sight of the huge bird had nearly caused the Captain to have an aneurism.
Not to mention the King had to ban him from Council for interrupting a budget meeting with the observation that sausages were sold in strings of eight yet sausage bunds were sold in packages of six.
What was worse for Rapunzel was the fact that this ability seemed to be inherited. Just that morning her son Flynn had come up to her and asked if she knew whether or not bugs could fart. Rapunzel did what any mother would do in that situation.
She told him to go ask his father.