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    Summary

    This wasn't Steve's plan for tonight.

    Part of the plan, maybe. The part where he goes to a club, anonymous and dark; that's been part of the plan from the start. The part where he finds some... company; also part of the plan. He's self-aware enough to know how pathetically lonely he's feeling right now. The rest of the plan had been...less detailed, more just a collection abstract ideas. None of which he'd imagined would lead him here, his palms sweaty as they fish handfuls of cash out of his pockets, one arm anchored around the waist of a man who is very enthusiastically nibbling on his earlobe.

     

    Or:

    Steve tries and fails to master the whole 'one-night stand' thing, lies snowball in a truly epic fashion, the supervillains of New York are all out of control, Tony is the worst best friend and mediator in the history of ever, and Bucky has the patience of a saint. Guest starring: Augustus the houseplant, projectile pineapples, and Target superhero costumes.

    Language:
    English
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    18,609
    Chapters:
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    Comments:
    115
    Kudos:
    1412
    Bookmarks:
    358
  2. 16 Oct 2017

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  3. 15 Oct 2017

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  4. 14 Oct 2017

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  5. 13 Oct 2017

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  6. 12 Oct 2017

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    Bookmark Notes:

    "Okay." Tony climbs onto the kitchen counter and puts his hands on his hips. "Who lined up thirty-nine hours of 80s horror movies to the Official Avengers Netflix queue then changed all the passwords?"

    Steve, who is only half reading the newspaper spread out in front of him, has to bite the inside of his lip to stop from laughing. He doesn't look up, but he can see the kitchen well enough from his peripheral vision.

    "Don't look at me," Banner says. He and Thor have a pack of cards spread out between them. Clint taught them both how to play 'his version' of poker the previous week and now owns a significant part of the Asgardian Royal Hunting Ground, as well as Banner's favorite red sweater. Steve might've offered to help if they hadn't already assumed that someone pure and honest like Cap would never, ever gamble. So he's not going to tell either of them that the reason Clint always wins is because he cheats ruthlessly.

    "Someone did," Tony grumbles. "Barton, was it you?"

    "Why," a voice drifts down from the ceiling, "does everyone always assume it's me?"

    "It usually is you," Tony reminds him.

    Steve's yet to figure out why Barton continues to take an aerial position in absolutely every room he spends time in. If there was a tactical advantage to be gained, sure, but it's not like no one knows he's there, and the conversation is proof that out of sight really doesn't mean out of mind, at least not when it comes to assigning blame for everything. "Yeah, but that's still no reason to blame me for everything. Why does no one blame Cap?"

    "Because Cap thinks Netflix is something you go fishing with," Tony says in a way that lets everyone know much their mediocrity is exhausting him. "They guy can't turn his cellphone on."

    Steve says nothing. He looks through the bylines of his paper and makes a mental note to fuck with the game systems in the rec room.

  7. 11 Oct 2017

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  8. 09 Oct 2017

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    Bookmark Notes:

    Steve being an idiot and Bucky being Bucky

  9. 05 Oct 2017

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  10. 04 Oct 2017

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  11. 03 Oct 2017

    Rec

  12. 03 Oct 2017

    Rec

  13. 03 Oct 2017

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  14. 25 Sep 2017

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  15. 24 Sep 2017

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  16. 24 Sep 2017

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  17. 23 Sep 2017

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  18. 23 Sep 2017

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  19. 23 Sep 2017

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  20. 23 Sep 2017

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  21. 22 Sep 2017

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